1 00:00:03,351 --> 00:00:05,309 Ho, ho, ho! 2 00:00:05,353 --> 00:00:06,658 ♪ 3 00:00:06,702 --> 00:00:09,139 [school bell rings] 4 00:00:10,749 --> 00:00:12,751 Happy birthday. 5 00:00:14,710 --> 00:00:18,453 [whistle blows] 6 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:31,248 [playing "Deck the Halls"] 7 00:00:38,908 --> 00:00:40,214 D'oh! 8 00:00:42,129 --> 00:00:43,695 [grunts] 9 00:00:44,827 --> 00:00:47,351 [growling] 10 00:00:56,143 --> 00:00:57,100 [growls] 11 00:00:57,144 --> 00:00:58,841 [shrieking] 12 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:04,020 ALL: Merry Christmas! 13 00:01:17,599 --> 00:01:21,559 -[snoring, mumbling] -[Homer humming] 14 00:01:23,605 --> 00:01:27,174 [sighs] Another Thanksgiving is in the books. 15 00:01:27,217 --> 00:01:29,524 Which means Christmas is starting. 16 00:01:29,567 --> 00:01:31,352 Say, Lis, I couldn't help but notice 17 00:01:31,395 --> 00:01:32,918 you're holding a piece of paper. 18 00:01:32,962 --> 00:01:34,529 Oh, this piece of paper? 19 00:01:34,572 --> 00:01:36,792 Why, it's just my Christmas list, is all. 20 00:01:36,835 --> 00:01:38,272 What a coincidence. 21 00:01:38,315 --> 00:01:40,839 I also have my Christmas list right here in my hand. 22 00:01:40,883 --> 00:01:42,711 Oh, you selfish little gangsters. 23 00:01:42,754 --> 00:01:44,843 There's always another shakedown, isn't there? 24 00:01:44,887 --> 00:01:48,151 What do you know, Bart? There's only one present on my list. 25 00:01:48,195 --> 00:01:49,935 My word, that's reasonable. 26 00:01:49,979 --> 00:01:52,634 I, too, only found one present to be list-worthy. 27 00:01:52,677 --> 00:01:55,202 Oh, give me the lists. 28 00:01:55,245 --> 00:01:56,986 [Marge groans] 29 00:01:57,029 --> 00:01:58,770 We already have a TV. 30 00:01:58,814 --> 00:02:00,207 We've been through ten Super Bowls, 31 00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:02,774 XLIV through LIII. 32 00:02:02,818 --> 00:02:05,516 But our dumb TV is not a smart TV. 33 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:08,824 And I just want one other smart thing in this house. 34 00:02:08,867 --> 00:02:10,826 Yeah, well, we'll think about it. 35 00:02:10,869 --> 00:02:15,265 [Bart and Lisa humming happily] 36 00:02:15,309 --> 00:02:17,789 I want everything about Christmas to be perfect, 37 00:02:17,833 --> 00:02:22,838 but that smart TV the kids want is $2,400. 38 00:02:22,881 --> 00:02:24,535 [scoffs] That's ridiculous. 39 00:02:24,579 --> 00:02:27,843 Our TV may not be smart, but it's street smart. 40 00:02:27,886 --> 00:02:30,237 ANNOUNCER: It's Sprawl-Mart's huge Black Friday sale. 41 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,326 Jay-G headphones only $49.99. 42 00:02:32,369 --> 00:02:34,545 Two-piece sofa set only $249.99. 43 00:02:34,589 --> 00:02:39,811 And this GL50 9K Smart TV only $499.99. 44 00:02:39,855 --> 00:02:43,380 GL50 9K Smart TV. Where have I heard that before? 45 00:02:43,424 --> 00:02:45,817 The kids are chanting it nonstop. 46 00:02:45,861 --> 00:02:48,777 BART and LISA: GL50 9K Smart TV. 47 00:02:48,820 --> 00:02:52,998 -GL50 9K Smart TV. -Knock it off! 48 00:02:53,042 --> 00:02:54,304 ANNOUNCER: Supplies are limited, 49 00:02:54,348 --> 00:02:56,437 so be here when the doors open at 6:00 a.m.! 50 00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:58,656 Black Friday: like The Purge, but for bargains. 51 00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:01,093 That's how we get it. We have to go. 52 00:03:01,137 --> 00:03:04,096 Oh, old TV, you really are dumb. 53 00:03:04,140 --> 00:03:07,361 You just told us how to replace you. [laughs] 54 00:03:07,404 --> 00:03:10,581 Why do we have an antenna on an HDTV? 55 00:03:10,625 --> 00:03:12,235 I thought it looked cool. 56 00:03:14,542 --> 00:03:16,674 So the customers will be entering from here, 57 00:03:16,718 --> 00:03:18,154 here and here. 58 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,591 Our biggest concern are the cutsies. 59 00:03:20,635 --> 00:03:23,377 -I hate those Nazis. -I said "cutsies." 60 00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:26,293 -You think the Nazis didn't take cuts? -Oh. 61 00:03:26,336 --> 00:03:29,687 I leave for Sprawl-Mart now, getting us a good place in line. 62 00:03:29,731 --> 00:03:33,517 And I go to sleep now, waking up in the middle of the night, 63 00:03:33,561 --> 00:03:35,345 rested and ready to relieve you 64 00:03:35,389 --> 00:03:36,868 -at 3:00 a.m. -That's right. 65 00:03:36,912 --> 00:03:39,828 Godspeed, hot woman. 66 00:03:39,871 --> 00:03:41,873 [both moaning] 67 00:03:44,659 --> 00:03:47,662 I love you, too, Homie, but I have to go. 68 00:03:47,705 --> 00:03:51,492 My tongue is frozen to your zipper. 69 00:04:00,109 --> 00:04:02,894 Aw, Marge, great to see you out here. 70 00:04:02,938 --> 00:04:05,549 You want a Cup O' Noodles to chase away the chill? 71 00:04:05,593 --> 00:04:07,986 -How sweet. -It's just water. 72 00:04:08,030 --> 00:04:09,727 I can't afford the real thing, 73 00:04:09,771 --> 00:04:11,903 but if you stare at the label while you drink it, 74 00:04:11,947 --> 00:04:14,689 you'd swear there was real chicken powder in there. 75 00:04:14,732 --> 00:04:18,301 -[shudders] -Oh. 76 00:04:18,345 --> 00:04:21,173 What bargain are you busting down the door for? 77 00:04:21,217 --> 00:04:24,786 I'm getting a Futon Friend for my granddaughter. 78 00:04:24,829 --> 00:04:27,441 I want her to remember me as more than just a grandpa 79 00:04:27,484 --> 00:04:28,746 who lives at the airport. 80 00:04:28,790 --> 00:04:30,966 The trick is to carry a piece of empty luggage 81 00:04:31,009 --> 00:04:32,794 because then they... they... 82 00:04:32,837 --> 00:04:35,013 [sobs] 83 00:04:35,057 --> 00:04:37,799 [sniffs] 84 00:04:45,415 --> 00:04:47,504 Sorry, Ralphie, it's just too cold. 85 00:04:47,548 --> 00:04:49,680 Even my blubber isn't helping. 86 00:04:49,724 --> 00:04:52,553 [sighs] Cold in the winter, hot in the summer. 87 00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:55,251 Why did I grow you? 88 00:04:56,731 --> 00:04:59,603 Oh, your hands feel cold. Let me look at them. 89 00:04:59,647 --> 00:05:03,781 Whoa, that's toasty! Am in Ipanema? 90 00:05:03,825 --> 00:05:06,567 [vocalizing "Girl From Ipanema"] 91 00:05:06,610 --> 00:05:08,395 Hmm? Hmm? 92 00:05:08,438 --> 00:05:09,613 [laughs] 93 00:05:09,657 --> 00:05:11,746 I can do this. It's 2:30. 94 00:05:11,789 --> 00:05:13,835 Homer's gonna be here any minute. 95 00:05:15,053 --> 00:05:17,969 [snoring] 96 00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:20,407 [alarm beeping] 97 00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:22,191 [mumbles] What? 98 00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:27,544 -[meows] -What the...? 99 00:05:27,588 --> 00:05:28,545 [meows] 100 00:05:28,589 --> 00:05:31,069 Ooh, got to relieve Marge! 101 00:05:33,637 --> 00:05:35,552 [shudders] 102 00:05:35,596 --> 00:05:37,641 [groans] 103 00:05:41,558 --> 00:05:44,431 My hands are starting to freeze. 104 00:05:44,474 --> 00:05:46,520 I hope Homer gets here soon. 105 00:05:46,563 --> 00:05:48,565 Why are we standing? 106 00:05:48,609 --> 00:05:51,089 We still have hours before the store opens. 107 00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:52,395 To keep out the cutters. 108 00:05:52,439 --> 00:05:54,658 Ow! You're punching me in the back. 109 00:05:54,702 --> 00:05:55,659 I ain't doin' it. 110 00:05:55,703 --> 00:05:57,748 It's the baby what's in my belly thrashing about. 111 00:05:57,792 --> 00:05:59,533 If you go into labor, I'll help you deliver, 112 00:05:59,576 --> 00:06:02,405 but then that baby has to go to the back of the line. 113 00:06:02,449 --> 00:06:04,451 -Yeah! -[angry chatter] 114 00:06:04,494 --> 00:06:07,889 I know how to hold a baby in. [inhales] 115 00:06:13,634 --> 00:06:15,636 Have a safe Black Friday, 116 00:06:15,679 --> 00:06:18,639 and welcome to Thunderdome. 117 00:06:18,682 --> 00:06:21,685 -[grunts] -[excited chatter] 118 00:06:23,861 --> 00:06:25,733 [dove cooing] 119 00:06:28,126 --> 00:06:29,650 [shouting] 120 00:06:29,693 --> 00:06:31,869 [whimpers] My hands are frozen, 121 00:06:31,913 --> 00:06:35,917 which makes it easier to do this. [grunting] 122 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:37,962 ♪ 123 00:06:41,357 --> 00:06:43,098 [gasps] The electronics department. 124 00:06:43,141 --> 00:06:44,621 I'm going to make it. 125 00:06:44,665 --> 00:06:46,275 GIL: I'm not gonna make it! 126 00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:52,586 Is there one drop of humanity in this big-box store? 127 00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:54,326 [shouting, groaning] 128 00:06:54,370 --> 00:06:56,590 MARGE: Don't look, Marge. At any other time of year, 129 00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:59,070 that man's life would be worth more than a TV, 130 00:06:59,114 --> 00:07:00,724 but not at Christmas. 131 00:07:00,768 --> 00:07:04,554 [groans] Tell my granddaughter I existed. 132 00:07:04,598 --> 00:07:06,643 ♪ 133 00:07:32,756 --> 00:07:35,063 This will help raise the little one. 134 00:07:35,106 --> 00:07:37,718 ♪ Jangle bells, jangle bells 135 00:07:37,761 --> 00:07:39,720 ♪ We gots a TV 136 00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:41,983 ♪ Now the only thing we lack 137 00:07:42,026 --> 00:07:44,725 ♪ Is e-lectricity, hey! 138 00:07:44,768 --> 00:07:46,727 You did it, Marge. 139 00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:49,904 You've given a poor old man the greatest gift of all, 140 00:07:49,947 --> 00:07:52,776 -a grandchild's love. -Well, that makes it all... 141 00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:54,561 I can't leave without one of those. 142 00:07:54,604 --> 00:07:55,997 I'll give you a hundred bucks for it. 143 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,565 -Can't say no to that. -Oh... 144 00:07:58,608 --> 00:08:01,176 [Marge groans] 145 00:08:01,219 --> 00:08:02,873 [tires screech] 146 00:08:02,917 --> 00:08:07,748 Oh! Marge, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to let you down. 147 00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:10,707 I'm not mad at you. I won't let myself be mad at you. 148 00:08:10,751 --> 00:08:14,102 This is Christmas, and Christmas is great for our kids, 149 00:08:14,145 --> 00:08:16,365 and I vow on my life 150 00:08:16,408 --> 00:08:18,802 to make it a great Christmas. 151 00:08:18,846 --> 00:08:19,803 I totally agree. 152 00:08:19,847 --> 00:08:23,372 Now because you've been through so much, let me drive. 153 00:08:27,724 --> 00:08:30,640 -Let me call you an Uber. -[groans] 154 00:08:37,604 --> 00:08:39,823 So I'm afraid you won't be getting 155 00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:41,825 the smart TV for Christmas. 156 00:08:41,869 --> 00:08:43,653 We figured. 157 00:08:43,697 --> 00:08:45,568 Never get your hopes up around here. 158 00:08:45,612 --> 00:08:49,833 But I promise you, Christmas will be better than ever. 159 00:08:49,877 --> 00:08:51,661 I'll sweep that up, sweetie. 160 00:08:51,705 --> 00:08:54,490 [Marge groans] 161 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,840 Your mother froze her fingers 162 00:08:56,884 --> 00:08:58,842 trying to get a Christmas gift for you, 163 00:08:58,886 --> 00:09:00,801 and what were you going to give her? 164 00:09:00,844 --> 00:09:02,846 -Lanyard. -Poem. 165 00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:04,239 I thought as much. 166 00:09:04,282 --> 00:09:07,155 Well, we're gonna make this Christmas about your mother. 167 00:09:07,198 --> 00:09:09,592 -But Christmas is for kids. -Her. 168 00:09:09,636 --> 00:09:11,594 MONICA [on video]: Hi, guys, it's Monica here 169 00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:13,857 with five easy hacks for resetting 170 00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:15,642 your threshold Christmas caroler. 171 00:09:15,685 --> 00:09:18,645 Number one, locate the P.I.X. input on the pressure strip. 172 00:09:18,688 --> 00:09:21,735 I already did that, Monica. 173 00:09:23,693 --> 00:09:25,260 I think I've got it. 174 00:09:25,303 --> 00:09:28,611 What if we take Mom on a Florida vacation for Christmas? 175 00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:30,482 [Norwegian accent]: Hoy, hoy, hoy. 176 00:09:30,526 --> 00:09:32,310 I ride on a pig. 177 00:09:32,354 --> 00:09:35,749 Don't forget to leave me porridge! 178 00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:38,099 Ugh, I've got it set on Norwegian. 179 00:09:38,142 --> 00:09:39,666 Well, at least we're not planning a vacation 180 00:09:39,709 --> 00:09:42,973 at the last second, we're planning at the last minute. 181 00:09:43,017 --> 00:09:45,497 Can't afford Nine Flags Underwater, 182 00:09:45,541 --> 00:09:47,456 Yankees Fantasy Camp, 183 00:09:47,499 --> 00:09:49,414 Yankees Suck Fantasy Camp... 184 00:09:49,458 --> 00:09:51,895 Oh, my God, there's a place we can afford. 185 00:09:51,939 --> 00:09:54,506 I've never heard of it. 186 00:09:54,550 --> 00:09:57,118 How can we be sure it's what it seems in the ad? 187 00:09:57,161 --> 00:09:59,207 That's a good point. On the other hand... 188 00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:00,687 only three rooms left! 189 00:10:00,730 --> 00:10:03,428 And 58 people are looking at them. 190 00:10:03,472 --> 00:10:05,648 All right, kids, let this be a lesson. 191 00:10:05,692 --> 00:10:07,781 You should never succumb to something 192 00:10:07,824 --> 00:10:09,870 just because you are pressured to... 193 00:10:09,913 --> 00:10:11,306 One room left! 194 00:10:11,349 --> 00:10:14,701 I got it! Full price, nonrefundable! Boom! 195 00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:19,880 Christmas is on me. Christmas is on me. 196 00:10:19,923 --> 00:10:22,665 Marge, darling, remember when we agreed 197 00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:24,711 you should take it down a few notches? 198 00:10:24,754 --> 00:10:27,148 Yeah, the notches. Always with the notches. 199 00:10:27,191 --> 00:10:28,889 Marge, have you considered 200 00:10:28,932 --> 00:10:31,065 that we could spend Christmas somewhere else? 201 00:10:31,108 --> 00:10:32,240 Home. 202 00:10:32,283 --> 00:10:34,329 If it's not home, it's not Christmas. 203 00:10:34,372 --> 00:10:36,244 Home, home, home! 204 00:10:36,287 --> 00:10:38,246 We're gonna have to take her out cold. 205 00:10:38,289 --> 00:10:40,117 ♪ 206 00:10:53,391 --> 00:10:54,610 [mutters]: You're getting one little... 207 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,046 sleeve and there you go. 208 00:10:56,090 --> 00:10:57,744 -Mom? -Yes, Lisa? Yes? 209 00:10:57,787 --> 00:11:00,050 -That's not our cat. -Damn it. 210 00:11:00,094 --> 00:11:01,399 [yowls] 211 00:11:01,443 --> 00:11:04,402 Mom, we came to sing some carols. 212 00:11:04,446 --> 00:11:07,536 And I'll pour the tea. 213 00:11:07,579 --> 00:11:10,974 ♪ Silent night 214 00:11:11,018 --> 00:11:14,195 ♪ Holy night 215 00:11:14,238 --> 00:11:17,502 [echoing]: ♪ All is calm 216 00:11:17,546 --> 00:11:20,984 ♪ All is bright 217 00:11:21,028 --> 00:11:26,207 ♪ Start counting backwards from ten to one ♪ 218 00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:28,862 ♪ When you wake up 219 00:11:28,905 --> 00:11:33,431 ♪ We'll have Christmas fun... 220 00:11:33,475 --> 00:11:35,999 Wake up, sleepyhead. [chuckles] 221 00:11:36,043 --> 00:11:38,436 -We're in Tennessee. -Tennessee? 222 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:40,177 We packed all the luggage ourselves. 223 00:11:40,221 --> 00:11:41,918 After all that you've been through, 224 00:11:41,962 --> 00:11:44,921 this Christmas is about you. 225 00:11:44,965 --> 00:11:46,923 The warm air helped my hands. 226 00:11:46,967 --> 00:11:49,230 I like Tennessee. 227 00:11:49,273 --> 00:11:51,014 [laughs]: That's fantastic. 228 00:11:51,058 --> 00:11:52,755 However, we just entered Georgia. 229 00:11:52,799 --> 00:11:54,801 Change the bumper sticker, boy. 230 00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:59,457 Dirty Birds! You got that right! 231 00:11:59,501 --> 00:12:01,851 Yeah! Go, area team! 232 00:12:01,895 --> 00:12:03,897 ♪ 233 00:12:10,294 --> 00:12:12,122 [thunder crashes] 234 00:12:12,166 --> 00:12:14,777 Enjoying the sunshine? 235 00:12:14,821 --> 00:12:17,127 That's the Christmas gift we get all year long. 236 00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:19,129 Can we please get to our room? 237 00:12:19,173 --> 00:12:22,263 We just drove 2,000 miles in four hours. 238 00:12:22,306 --> 00:12:24,047 Of course. 239 00:12:24,091 --> 00:12:27,398 And thank you for reminding me why I never had kids. 240 00:12:27,442 --> 00:12:29,879 Let's go, shall we? 241 00:12:34,101 --> 00:12:36,886 All of us in this one little room? 242 00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:38,279 I call sleeping in the bathtub! 243 00:12:38,322 --> 00:12:40,063 I want to sleep in the bathtub. 244 00:12:40,107 --> 00:12:42,892 There's no bathtub. Just a combo shower and toilet. 245 00:12:42,936 --> 00:12:44,024 We call it a shoilet. 246 00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:46,678 Well, the fun is outside. 247 00:12:46,722 --> 00:12:47,810 [thunder crashes] 248 00:12:47,854 --> 00:12:51,031 Ooh, that's gonna be a big one. 249 00:12:51,074 --> 00:12:55,035 Oh, I don't know how we're gonna give you kids a Christmas. 250 00:12:55,078 --> 00:12:58,647 Dad, Bart, meet me in the shoilet. 251 00:12:58,690 --> 00:13:00,823 -[toilet flushes] -D'oh! 252 00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:03,086 Let me tell you something about your mother. 253 00:13:03,130 --> 00:13:07,221 She is always as happy as the saddest one of us. 254 00:13:07,264 --> 00:13:09,658 I'm not always the saddest one. 255 00:13:09,701 --> 00:13:12,443 Polar bears are dying. 256 00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:14,837 [cries]: Oh, that's so sad. 257 00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:18,493 So, rain or shine, we will all have smiles on our faces. 258 00:13:18,536 --> 00:13:21,670 Her mood will be based on the signals we are giving. 259 00:13:21,713 --> 00:13:22,976 All hands in. 260 00:13:23,019 --> 00:13:25,239 Okay, three, two, one... 261 00:13:25,282 --> 00:13:27,067 ALL: Fake enthusiasm. 262 00:13:27,110 --> 00:13:28,938 What are you guys doing in here? 263 00:13:28,982 --> 00:13:30,679 Uh, having a great time. 264 00:13:30,722 --> 00:13:32,333 That's about to get better. 265 00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:34,857 -Really? -[toilet flushes] 266 00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:37,468 Who wants room service? 267 00:13:37,512 --> 00:13:39,470 [toilet flushes] 268 00:13:39,514 --> 00:13:42,647 [theme park music playing] 269 00:13:42,691 --> 00:13:45,781 This is cool. Cartoon characters no one's ever heard of. 270 00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:49,654 That's Mulberry Mutt, Tremendous Boar and Thelonious Skunk. 271 00:13:49,698 --> 00:13:52,135 -Does somebody want a hug? -No. 272 00:13:52,179 --> 00:13:55,138 -Oh, I think you do. -Really, I don't. 273 00:13:55,182 --> 00:13:56,705 Hug the bull, boy. 274 00:13:56,748 --> 00:14:00,840 That's right, kid. Legally, you have to initiate it. 275 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,889 That's so sweet. 276 00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:09,065 [dog howls] 277 00:14:16,159 --> 00:14:18,770 You know, they say whenever you travel, it grows your brain. 278 00:14:18,814 --> 00:14:20,990 This place is fantastic. 279 00:14:21,034 --> 00:14:22,731 WOMAN: This place is a dump. 280 00:14:22,774 --> 00:14:24,907 MAN: I picked it! If you criticize this place, 281 00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:26,517 you're criticizing me! 282 00:14:26,561 --> 00:14:28,693 WOMAN: Well, in that case, this place is a loser 283 00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:30,304 with a gambling problem. 284 00:14:30,347 --> 00:14:33,176 That's the worst thing the kids could possibly hear. 285 00:14:33,220 --> 00:14:35,962 MAN: I won once, when I met you. 286 00:14:36,005 --> 00:14:37,485 -WOMAN: Aw... -[moaning] 287 00:14:37,528 --> 00:14:39,704 WOMAN [giggles]: Come here. 288 00:14:39,748 --> 00:14:41,619 [laughter] 289 00:14:41,663 --> 00:14:43,926 Oh, for God's sake. I'll stop this. 290 00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:46,798 [laughter continues] 291 00:14:48,191 --> 00:14:49,758 [grunting] 292 00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:52,935 Get this over with quick! There's kids next door! 293 00:14:52,979 --> 00:14:54,719 MAN: There's kids in here, too! 294 00:14:54,763 --> 00:14:57,940 [laughter, moaning continues] 295 00:14:57,984 --> 00:14:59,550 [sighs] 296 00:14:59,594 --> 00:15:02,379 Makes you feel kind of lonely, doesn't it? 297 00:15:02,423 --> 00:15:05,382 -Yeah. -Well, it all starts with a hug. 298 00:15:05,426 --> 00:15:07,819 [chuckles] You want a hug? 299 00:15:09,996 --> 00:15:11,345 Aw... 300 00:15:16,654 --> 00:15:18,656 [squawking] 301 00:15:25,228 --> 00:15:27,578 Oh, boy. You kids are up early. 302 00:15:27,622 --> 00:15:29,798 Bart and I are going to engage in perhaps 303 00:15:29,841 --> 00:15:33,149 the most popular Florida tradition... 304 00:15:33,193 --> 00:15:36,065 complaining to the manager. 305 00:15:36,109 --> 00:15:39,547 JEANIE: Hey, come on in. 306 00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:42,811 This place is nothing like it looked on the Internet. 307 00:15:42,854 --> 00:15:44,856 We can't compete with the big boys. 308 00:15:44,900 --> 00:15:48,251 Disney's already laying ground for a new Family GuyWorld. 309 00:15:48,295 --> 00:15:50,601 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy... ♪ 310 00:15:50,645 --> 00:15:54,823 I was the "it" boy in 2006. 311 00:15:54,866 --> 00:15:56,825 I don't know when and I don't know how, 312 00:15:56,868 --> 00:16:00,481 but I am gonna get you. 313 00:16:00,524 --> 00:16:04,920 Well, at least something in this place is clean now. 314 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:07,923 [shouts] That was the most horrifying ride 315 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,707 I've ever been on. 316 00:16:11,405 --> 00:16:13,885 Where's Maggie? 317 00:16:17,411 --> 00:16:19,413 ♪ 318 00:16:23,199 --> 00:16:27,682 Oh, this is so much fun. You know how I love history. 319 00:16:27,725 --> 00:16:31,642 It's like looking at a rogues gallery of America's villains. 320 00:16:31,686 --> 00:16:35,211 According to the soundtrack to Hamilton, you were a real jerk. 321 00:16:35,255 --> 00:16:36,908 -[gun clicks] -[shrieks] 322 00:16:36,952 --> 00:16:39,128 Vice presidents rule! 323 00:16:39,172 --> 00:16:42,218 Aw. Are you really having a great time? 324 00:16:43,306 --> 00:16:46,614 Really? Because I sure as heck am not. 325 00:16:46,657 --> 00:16:51,184 No, I'm FaceTiming Milhouse 'cause it's more fun. 326 00:16:51,227 --> 00:16:52,620 Whassup? 327 00:16:52,663 --> 00:16:54,100 Milhouse, give me something. 328 00:16:54,143 --> 00:16:56,450 I'm trapped in The Hall of Vice Presidents. 329 00:16:56,493 --> 00:16:59,975 Well, I'm kind of the vice president of us. 330 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,716 [groans] Got to go. 331 00:17:01,759 --> 00:17:04,197 And we've got to go. Back home. 332 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,155 We can be in Springfield by Christmas 333 00:17:06,199 --> 00:17:08,853 if we can just get our money back. 334 00:17:08,897 --> 00:17:11,030 Leave that to me. 335 00:17:20,822 --> 00:17:22,824 [moans] 336 00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:28,221 [screams] 337 00:17:28,264 --> 00:17:30,788 I shot my best friend in the face. 338 00:17:30,832 --> 00:17:32,790 [laughs] 339 00:17:32,834 --> 00:17:33,791 [screaming] 340 00:17:33,835 --> 00:17:35,576 [screaming echoes] 341 00:17:35,619 --> 00:17:37,621 ["Carol of the Bells" playing] 342 00:17:45,325 --> 00:17:48,763 [excited chatter] 343 00:17:48,806 --> 00:17:51,157 [people groaning] 344 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:54,682 There it is, the first snow. 345 00:17:54,725 --> 00:17:57,250 It smells so clean. 346 00:17:57,293 --> 00:17:59,295 [all inhaling deeply] 347 00:18:03,865 --> 00:18:05,606 [engine sputtering] 348 00:18:06,737 --> 00:18:08,739 -[engine stops] -[Marge groans] 349 00:18:08,783 --> 00:18:11,307 [wind gusting] 350 00:18:15,529 --> 00:18:17,531 ♪ 351 00:18:20,664 --> 00:18:22,797 Oh, my God. 352 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:26,105 Moe serves Christmas dinner to the old and needy. 353 00:18:28,063 --> 00:18:31,414 Yeah, look, it's the one nice thing I do. Ha. 354 00:18:31,458 --> 00:18:33,155 Guess old Moe's got a heart. 355 00:18:33,199 --> 00:18:36,289 Also, if I turn the rummy away, they might wind up in church. 356 00:18:36,332 --> 00:18:37,594 That could turn their life around. 357 00:18:37,638 --> 00:18:39,640 That's bad for business. 358 00:18:39,683 --> 00:18:43,774 Moe, I never dreamed you were capable of such a sweet thing. 359 00:18:43,818 --> 00:18:46,081 Oh, no-- I beg you, don't make a moment out of this. 360 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,778 Oh. 361 00:18:47,822 --> 00:18:51,391 Ha. You missed my tongue there, but, eh, that's all right. 362 00:18:51,434 --> 00:18:54,002 ["Silent Night" playing] 363 00:18:54,045 --> 00:18:56,831 Everyone, please close your eyes. 364 00:18:56,874 --> 00:18:59,268 Boy, you do the honors. 365 00:18:59,312 --> 00:19:02,097 Dear Lord, we didn't get the gift we wanted, 366 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:03,751 a GL50 9K Smart TV. 367 00:19:03,794 --> 00:19:05,666 The place we went was a dump. 368 00:19:05,709 --> 00:19:07,755 But isn't Christmas really about 369 00:19:07,798 --> 00:19:10,192 being with your family and your bartender? 370 00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:12,063 We have traveled many miles to learn 371 00:19:12,107 --> 00:19:14,805 there's no place like Moe's. 372 00:19:14,849 --> 00:19:17,373 Amen. 373 00:19:19,593 --> 00:19:23,249 If you're not going to buy something, leave. 374 00:19:27,862 --> 00:19:29,646 Bart, I disrespected you and I'm sorry. 375 00:19:29,690 --> 00:19:32,475 I've refunded your money plus $2,400 376 00:19:32,519 --> 00:19:35,826 if you pledge to never come here again. 377 00:19:35,870 --> 00:19:38,699 And please tell your sister she's pretty. 378 00:19:38,742 --> 00:19:41,441 Not Lisa, the baby. 379 00:19:41,484 --> 00:19:43,269 You can't win in Florida. 380 00:19:43,312 --> 00:19:45,271 Oh, my God, why don't your batteries die? 381 00:19:45,314 --> 00:19:47,882 -I have a solar head. -[groans] 382 00:19:49,449 --> 00:19:50,667 Well, you'll be happy to know 383 00:19:50,711 --> 00:19:52,452 we've put the money to good use. 384 00:19:52,495 --> 00:19:57,239 Now, to celebrate Christmas the way our ancestors did. 385 00:19:57,283 --> 00:19:59,372 [gasping] 386 00:19:59,415 --> 00:20:02,592 You know, there's a real log burning below it, right? 387 00:20:02,636 --> 00:20:05,247 Yeah, but is it HD? 388 00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:12,689 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 389 00:20:54,514 --> 00:20:56,342 Shh!