1 00:00:06,310 --> 00:00:08,008 ♪ 2 00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:11,794 [shrieks] 3 00:00:17,191 --> 00:00:18,931 [school bell rings] 4 00:00:21,325 --> 00:00:22,326 [burps] 5 00:00:22,370 --> 00:00:23,066 [tires screech] 6 00:00:25,286 --> 00:00:27,244 D'oh! 7 00:00:27,288 --> 00:00:29,029 [grunts] 8 00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:36,210 Refill! 9 00:00:36,253 --> 00:00:38,255 ♪ 10 00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:44,261 HOMER: Kids, 11 00:00:44,305 --> 00:00:45,436 is there anything better 12 00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:48,309 than when a restaurant misprints a coupon? 13 00:00:48,352 --> 00:00:50,572 -[snaps fingers] -And with the money we saved, 14 00:00:50,615 --> 00:00:54,228 your mom is getting a Swedish massage. 15 00:00:54,271 --> 00:00:57,100 [exhales] All the tension's going 16 00:00:57,144 --> 00:00:58,667 [in Patty's voice]: out of my body. 17 00:00:58,710 --> 00:01:00,886 [guttural moans] 18 00:01:00,930 --> 00:01:03,454 Now let's take one deep breath of this classy place 19 00:01:03,498 --> 00:01:05,761 before we go back to our lousy car. 20 00:01:05,804 --> 00:01:08,242 -[all inhaling] -[French accent]: Excuse me, 21 00:01:08,285 --> 00:01:10,548 that air is the property of this restaurant. 22 00:01:10,592 --> 00:01:12,507 Fine, I'll give it back. [belches loudly] 23 00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:15,249 [laughter] 24 00:01:15,292 --> 00:01:16,728 -Good one. -[belches] 25 00:01:16,772 --> 00:01:19,688 -[belches] -Memory book. 26 00:01:19,731 --> 00:01:21,255 Okay, kids. I admit we hustled 27 00:01:21,298 --> 00:01:23,170 the restaurant there, but that's it. 28 00:01:23,213 --> 00:01:24,823 I don't want you to think this is the way 29 00:01:24,867 --> 00:01:26,173 you get ahead in life. 30 00:01:26,216 --> 00:01:29,393 Do not take advantage of someone else's mistakes. 31 00:01:29,437 --> 00:01:31,743 -Your car, sir. -But that's not... 32 00:01:31,787 --> 00:01:34,355 [heavenly chorus] 33 00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:35,312 You see that, kids? 34 00:01:35,356 --> 00:01:37,140 It's the kind of car they don't make anymore. 35 00:01:37,184 --> 00:01:39,708 Windshield that breaks into a thousand glass razor blades. 36 00:01:39,751 --> 00:01:41,753 Your lap is the cup holder. 37 00:01:41,797 --> 00:01:44,234 Vinyl seats that can melt your ass. 38 00:01:44,278 --> 00:01:46,193 God, do I want to drive it. 39 00:01:46,236 --> 00:01:49,631 [shudders]: Oh... so useless. 40 00:01:49,674 --> 00:01:53,243 This is the car I've always wanted. 41 00:01:53,287 --> 00:01:54,940 You'll never have a car this nice. 42 00:01:54,984 --> 00:01:56,768 You'll never have a girlfriend this cute. 43 00:01:56,812 --> 00:01:58,292 That's right! 44 00:01:58,335 --> 00:02:01,164 And you'll never have exhaust this toxic. 45 00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:02,209 [tires screech] 46 00:02:05,081 --> 00:02:07,344 Oh, I need this. I've always needed this. 47 00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:09,433 Get in, kids, get in. 48 00:02:09,477 --> 00:02:11,392 Dad, what were you just telling us? 49 00:02:11,435 --> 00:02:13,002 This is morally wr... 50 00:02:13,045 --> 00:02:15,352 Whee! 51 00:02:15,396 --> 00:02:17,311 Pull every knob. Press all the buttons. 52 00:02:17,354 --> 00:02:18,573 Find out what things do. 53 00:02:20,575 --> 00:02:22,011 [grunting] 54 00:02:25,319 --> 00:02:26,798 Don't you "chitty chitty bang bang" me! 55 00:02:26,842 --> 00:02:28,844 -[grunting] -["Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" playing] 56 00:02:33,457 --> 00:02:34,806 Ooh, what's this crank for? 57 00:02:34,850 --> 00:02:36,460 Duh, rolling down the window. 58 00:02:36,504 --> 00:02:38,680 Hmm. How do I put on the air conditioning? 59 00:02:38,723 --> 00:02:40,812 Uh, you're doing it. 60 00:02:40,856 --> 00:02:42,988 Aw, cool. An ashtray. 61 00:02:43,032 --> 00:02:45,339 [gasps] A full ashtray! 62 00:02:45,382 --> 00:02:48,559 Uh-uh-uh! Bad, bad, bad! 63 00:02:48,603 --> 00:02:51,214 Ah, smooth. Bad, bad. 64 00:02:51,258 --> 00:02:52,911 [small car honks] 65 00:02:52,955 --> 00:02:55,349 [honks] 66 00:02:55,392 --> 00:02:59,353 Now, to tie them in a bow. 67 00:02:59,396 --> 00:03:01,224 [grunts] 68 00:03:01,268 --> 00:03:05,054 My husband-- he's doing something incredibly stupid. 69 00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:08,362 Look at this beautiful color. 70 00:03:08,405 --> 00:03:11,713 Seafoam. This is what cars used to look like. 71 00:03:11,756 --> 00:03:14,019 And what the sea used to look like. 72 00:03:14,063 --> 00:03:17,240 -[tires screech] -LISA AND BART: Whee! 73 00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:18,589 Whoa! 74 00:03:18,633 --> 00:03:21,244 Put this on the list of things we don't tell your mother. 75 00:03:21,288 --> 00:03:23,420 Including the fact there is a list. 76 00:03:24,508 --> 00:03:26,510 LISA: Aw, it's over. 77 00:03:26,554 --> 00:03:28,469 Now, to teach you kids a life lesson. 78 00:03:28,512 --> 00:03:31,863 Moments of pure joy always have consequences. 79 00:03:31,907 --> 00:03:33,300 We already knew that. 80 00:03:33,343 --> 00:03:35,171 Yeah. Why do you think we exist? 81 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,347 Quick! Put on your innocent faces. 82 00:03:37,391 --> 00:03:39,523 Innocenter... innocenter. 83 00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:43,397 Uh, yeah, I'm, uh, I'm sorry, you gave me the wrong car. 84 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:47,488 The moment I realized, I brought it back immediately. 85 00:03:47,531 --> 00:03:49,490 You stole my car. 86 00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:53,842 My precious 1957 Cadillac Eldorado Biarritz convertible 87 00:03:53,885 --> 00:03:57,411 in the original seafoam, with the illegal brodie knob. 88 00:03:57,454 --> 00:04:00,631 Oh, God. Tell me right now you did not touch my brodie knob. 89 00:04:00,675 --> 00:04:02,633 Absolutely not. 90 00:04:02,677 --> 00:04:04,679 This is the brodie knob. 91 00:04:04,722 --> 00:04:06,724 Oh. I was all over thatthing. 92 00:04:06,768 --> 00:04:08,378 You're in big trouble. 93 00:04:08,422 --> 00:04:10,424 They're gonna charge you with grand theft auto. 94 00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:13,296 A lousy game but a magnificent law. 95 00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:15,733 Listen, I'm sorry. Really sorry. 96 00:04:15,777 --> 00:04:18,301 I just wanted to give my kids a ride, 97 00:04:18,345 --> 00:04:19,955 show them the house I was born in, 98 00:04:19,998 --> 00:04:21,696 show them the house I'm gonna die in, 99 00:04:21,739 --> 00:04:22,914 then drive through a cornfield for kicks. 100 00:04:22,958 --> 00:04:23,959 Whoo-hoo! 101 00:04:25,569 --> 00:04:27,876 I gave you the USS Enterprise, 102 00:04:27,919 --> 00:04:31,401 and you returned with the Orville! 103 00:04:31,445 --> 00:04:33,969 I am so sorry. You're absolutely right. 104 00:04:34,012 --> 00:04:35,362 I'll get it fixed by a pro. 105 00:04:35,405 --> 00:04:37,668 I'll get you a license plate frame saying 106 00:04:37,712 --> 00:04:40,715 "My other car is a..." insert dumb movie reference. 107 00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:43,457 Tron Legacy Light-Cycle. Well, okay. 108 00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:46,938 I suppose I could allow you to-- oh, God! 109 00:04:46,982 --> 00:04:48,592 No! 110 00:04:48,636 --> 00:04:52,814 My mint condition copy of Radioactive Mannumber one! 111 00:04:52,857 --> 00:04:53,945 [grunts] 112 00:04:53,989 --> 00:04:56,165 This was the comic I always wanted most 113 00:04:56,208 --> 00:04:58,515 since I was an athletic, popular child. 114 00:04:58,559 --> 00:05:00,169 Look, you're a nice guy. 115 00:05:00,212 --> 00:05:03,520 When have you ever seen me be a nice guy?! 116 00:05:03,564 --> 00:05:06,567 I am pressing charges! 117 00:05:09,787 --> 00:05:10,832 Is this yours? 118 00:05:10,875 --> 00:05:13,008 Yes. 119 00:05:14,488 --> 00:05:15,532 Simpson, get on the bike. 120 00:05:15,576 --> 00:05:17,578 Put your arms around me. 121 00:05:17,621 --> 00:05:20,711 Now, head on my shoulder. Yeah... aw, that's nice. 122 00:05:20,755 --> 00:05:22,583 And don't lean the same way I do 123 00:05:22,626 --> 00:05:23,758 [chuckles]: or we're both dead. 124 00:05:23,801 --> 00:05:25,760 Uh, by the way, you're under arrest. 125 00:05:25,803 --> 00:05:28,458 Uh, doesn't the law say I need a helmet, too? 126 00:05:28,502 --> 00:05:30,199 Another law you're breaking. 127 00:05:33,637 --> 00:05:35,596 Why are you riding a motorcycle? 128 00:05:35,639 --> 00:05:37,380 It's not for fun! I got arrested! 129 00:05:37,424 --> 00:05:39,295 That's worse! 130 00:05:40,427 --> 00:05:42,994 Your Honor, I'm scared. Okay, I screwed up. 131 00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:46,607 If you'll permit, may I read a speech in my defense? 132 00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:47,608 Did your daughter write it? 133 00:05:47,651 --> 00:05:49,436 Absolutely not. 134 00:05:49,479 --> 00:05:51,742 Sir, if an opportunity came along 135 00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:54,223 to give your kids a memory they'll never forget, 136 00:05:54,266 --> 00:05:56,486 -wouldn't you hop in the driver's seat? -[mouthing] 137 00:05:56,530 --> 00:05:58,967 A golden day with their dad. 138 00:05:59,010 --> 00:06:01,535 What could be more innocent? 139 00:06:01,578 --> 00:06:04,494 All I know is that as that gas gauge read empty, 140 00:06:04,538 --> 00:06:07,671 our hearts were full. Full of love. 141 00:06:07,715 --> 00:06:13,024 Love of what our country does best: build cars 60 years ago! 142 00:06:13,068 --> 00:06:14,678 [sniffling] 143 00:06:14,722 --> 00:06:17,551 I'm a judge. But I'm also a father. 144 00:06:17,594 --> 00:06:19,466 A father whose ex-wife only lets him see the kids 145 00:06:19,509 --> 00:06:22,512 on summers and Christmas. I don't need you to rub it in. 146 00:06:22,556 --> 00:06:23,861 I find the defendant guilty. 147 00:06:23,905 --> 00:06:26,647 Your Honor, I'm not the one on trial here. 148 00:06:26,690 --> 00:06:28,126 Yes, you are. 149 00:06:28,170 --> 00:06:29,563 [all gasping] 150 00:06:29,606 --> 00:06:33,218 "Hire a lawyer," I said. "Waste of money," he said. 151 00:06:33,262 --> 00:06:37,048 This is what I spend my time in courtroom audiences for. 152 00:06:37,092 --> 00:06:38,528 This is my Starbucks. 153 00:06:43,359 --> 00:06:44,578 Two weeks. Two weeks to turn this around. 154 00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:46,101 Lisa, can we get the state 155 00:06:46,144 --> 00:06:48,016 to change its sentencing guidelines 156 00:06:48,059 --> 00:06:49,321 in the next two weeks? 157 00:06:49,365 --> 00:06:52,455 Ah, the legislative calendar is pretty full. 158 00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:54,675 And they take off the second week for Easter. 159 00:06:54,718 --> 00:06:58,069 RomanEaster! To the Byzantine world, it's nothing! 160 00:06:58,113 --> 00:07:01,551 I'm afraid we have to prepare for the possibility 161 00:07:01,595 --> 00:07:03,684 that you might go to prison. 162 00:07:03,727 --> 00:07:07,644 ANNOUNCER: The Arts and Incarceration Channel presents... 163 00:07:10,734 --> 00:07:13,694 INTERVIEWER: What advice would you give to a new inmate? 164 00:07:13,737 --> 00:07:15,478 Everything can be a weapon. 165 00:07:15,522 --> 00:07:18,481 I saw a guy get his eye gouged with uncooked spaghetti. 166 00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:20,918 You sound like you've seen a lot. 167 00:07:20,962 --> 00:07:24,531 I've seen things and done things I ain't proud of. 168 00:07:24,574 --> 00:07:25,488 And I'm the chaplain. 169 00:07:25,532 --> 00:07:27,838 I can't take this, Marge. 170 00:07:27,882 --> 00:07:31,102 Maybe I can make peace with Comic Book Guy. 171 00:07:31,146 --> 00:07:33,104 Do you think so? He's an angry man. 172 00:07:33,148 --> 00:07:36,717 His favorite thing is Star Wars, and he hates Star Wars. 173 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:38,545 I'll talk to him. 174 00:07:38,588 --> 00:07:41,722 Careful, Marge. He's a lazy, overweight slob. 175 00:07:41,765 --> 00:07:43,463 Don't fall in love with him. 176 00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:51,514 Comic Book Guy, my husband is reallysorry. 177 00:07:51,558 --> 00:07:55,344 Okay, he screwed up. But he doesn't belong in prison. 178 00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:58,086 I beg to differ. That car is very special to me. 179 00:07:58,129 --> 00:07:59,914 When I was young, my father took me in it to... 180 00:07:59,957 --> 00:08:02,786 -Buy comic books? -No, not comic books. 181 00:08:02,830 --> 00:08:05,180 Everything in my life is not comic books, okay? 182 00:08:05,223 --> 00:08:06,790 We bought baseball cards. 183 00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:09,924 Look, we'll detail your car and fix your comic book. 184 00:08:09,967 --> 00:08:13,754 This is not about my car. It is about me getting respect. 185 00:08:13,797 --> 00:08:16,539 I want all the Little Lulus five dollars can buy. 186 00:08:16,583 --> 00:08:18,672 And make it snappy, Blobba the Hutt. 187 00:08:18,715 --> 00:08:22,327 Jabba is actually quite slim! For a Hutt. 188 00:08:22,371 --> 00:08:23,720 Just get the Lulus. 189 00:08:23,764 --> 00:08:26,244 Or I'll take my business to Build-A-Bear. 190 00:08:27,811 --> 00:08:30,031 Here you go. Five dollars' worth of Little Lulus. 191 00:08:32,033 --> 00:08:34,818 As for you, I am not budging. 192 00:08:34,862 --> 00:08:37,908 Like the door of Superman's Fortress of Solitude 193 00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:40,694 when the Beatles tried to visit. Pure folly. 194 00:08:40,737 --> 00:08:43,000 That comic is noncanonical. 195 00:08:43,044 --> 00:08:46,482 The only thing noncanonical in my store is Snoopy 196 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:50,617 dressed as Sgt. Rock for an ill-timed Vietnam war ad. 197 00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:54,403 I see. Well, I'm sorry to have bothered you. 198 00:08:54,446 --> 00:08:56,579 Yes, don't let the door hit you on the way out. 199 00:08:56,623 --> 00:08:58,581 No, seriously. It's just been painted. 200 00:08:58,625 --> 00:09:01,671 Oh. That's what being nice gets you. 201 00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:06,850 Mom, Dad, I think I found the answer on the Internet! 202 00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:09,418 Lisa, nothing good ever comes from YouTube. 203 00:09:09,461 --> 00:09:12,247 Except ducks eating watermelon. 204 00:09:17,034 --> 00:09:20,516 No, no. Sentencing mitigation videos. 205 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,518 People have had their jail terms reduced, 206 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,868 or even gotten off death row 207 00:09:24,912 --> 00:09:27,654 by producing slick video appeals to the judge. 208 00:09:27,697 --> 00:09:31,832 Finally, a way for rich people to bend the system their way. 209 00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:33,834 Mr. Burns got off the hook once 210 00:09:33,877 --> 00:09:37,707 by using a video directed by Guillermo del Toro. 211 00:09:37,751 --> 00:09:41,058 Hello, I am, uh, film director Guillermo del Toro. 212 00:09:41,102 --> 00:09:45,280 Uh, when I was a young boy, I fell in love with monsters. 213 00:09:45,323 --> 00:09:48,718 Frankenstein's monster, King Kong, Son of Kong, 214 00:09:48,762 --> 00:09:51,025 Nosferatu, Godzilla, Mechagodzilla, 215 00:09:51,068 --> 00:09:52,635 Godzilla's nephew Godzooky, 216 00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:54,506 Mothra the caterpillar, Mothra the moth, 217 00:09:54,550 --> 00:09:56,291 the Blob fromThe Blob... 218 00:09:56,334 --> 00:09:58,859 and Godzilla's cousin, Sheldon Godzilla. 219 00:09:58,902 --> 00:10:01,644 Lesser known but equally horrifying. 220 00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:04,865 Monsters, yes. But they are capable of love. 221 00:10:04,908 --> 00:10:07,868 Which brings us to Montgomery Burns. 222 00:10:07,911 --> 00:10:09,304 Oh, hello. 223 00:10:09,347 --> 00:10:10,784 Did someone mention me? 224 00:10:10,827 --> 00:10:13,308 DEL TORO: From birth, he was not wanted. 225 00:10:15,963 --> 00:10:17,704 Then came the real monsters: 226 00:10:17,747 --> 00:10:20,794 the bullies that hated him just because he was wealthy. 227 00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:22,839 And maybe he rubbed it in a little. 228 00:10:28,279 --> 00:10:30,673 But no one knows the real Mr. Burns. 229 00:10:43,338 --> 00:10:44,948 I love Señor Burns. 230 00:10:44,992 --> 00:10:46,558 Who are you? 231 00:10:46,602 --> 00:10:48,909 He combines the ancient evil of Cthulhu 232 00:10:48,952 --> 00:10:51,085 with the trim physique of Slender Man. 233 00:10:51,128 --> 00:10:53,957 Señor Burns demonstrates that in all so-called monsters 234 00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:56,264 beats a heart. Thank you for listening. 235 00:10:56,307 --> 00:10:57,700 And thank you, Georgia Film Commission, 236 00:10:57,744 --> 00:10:59,136 for the 22% discount. 237 00:10:59,180 --> 00:11:01,704 I'll see you wherever free people congregate. 238 00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:03,488 Like the Yale Club. 239 00:11:03,532 --> 00:11:06,753 [orchestral fanfare] 240 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:12,497 Wow. Maybe I've been all wrong about evil. 241 00:11:12,541 --> 00:11:15,718 Once again, Mr. del Toro stripped away the darkness 242 00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:17,720 and found beauty at its core. 243 00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:19,679 Like that fish-snuggling movie. 244 00:11:21,637 --> 00:11:22,594 Excuse me. 245 00:11:22,638 --> 00:11:24,292 [coughs] 246 00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:27,077 Ah... you told me you've never been to Missouri. 247 00:11:27,121 --> 00:11:29,732 You're right, honey. Hollywood can solve anything. 248 00:11:29,776 --> 00:11:32,126 Except its own lack of creativity and diversity. 249 00:11:32,169 --> 00:11:33,736 Now, how do we make this thing? 250 00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:36,217 I think we should use a videographer. 251 00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:37,827 There's one left in town. 252 00:11:39,829 --> 00:11:42,310 I will do anything for your wedding video. 253 00:11:42,353 --> 00:11:46,444 Color, black and white, or Polaroid Swinger, cha cha cha. 254 00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:48,795 I gotta warn you, my camera hand is shaky 255 00:11:48,838 --> 00:11:52,015 because I have a major vitamin E deficiency. 256 00:11:52,059 --> 00:11:55,018 No problemo. It works fine if you just 257 00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:56,454 nod your head like this... 258 00:11:56,498 --> 00:11:58,500 [warbling] 259 00:12:01,851 --> 00:12:03,766 You know, we could just do it ourselves. 260 00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:07,944 Yeah. Those are the words that are killing my profession. 261 00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,555 Now you say nice things about me. 262 00:12:10,599 --> 00:12:12,035 So what is it you're looking for? 263 00:12:12,079 --> 00:12:14,385 Words or something? Uh, human words? 264 00:12:14,429 --> 00:12:17,954 Okay, uh, Homer Simpson, uh, well, real family man. 265 00:12:17,998 --> 00:12:20,261 Yeah. Always brings his kids into the bar. 266 00:12:20,304 --> 00:12:23,046 Not one of them aristocrats who gets all bent out of shape 267 00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:24,918 when there's a mouse in his beer. 268 00:12:24,961 --> 00:12:27,616 Hey, Moe. I need you to file a serial number off a wheelchair. 269 00:12:27,659 --> 00:12:28,835 HOMER: Cut! 270 00:12:28,878 --> 00:12:31,228 Hmm... Homer Simpson? How can I put this? 271 00:12:31,272 --> 00:12:35,145 Ah, we've never had an employee get rehired so many times. 272 00:12:35,189 --> 00:12:38,366 Homer Simpson has two children enrolled in our school. 273 00:12:38,409 --> 00:12:40,498 That's all I'm comfortable saying. 274 00:12:41,978 --> 00:12:43,806 All right, let's see what you got. 275 00:12:43,850 --> 00:12:46,026 I had to edit a little. 276 00:12:47,070 --> 00:12:49,072 Homer Simpson. Family man. 277 00:12:49,116 --> 00:12:50,944 Happy. Aristocrat. 278 00:12:50,987 --> 00:12:52,380 Too. Cool. Comfortable. 279 00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:54,904 Homer is a... grace to the family. 280 00:12:54,948 --> 00:12:56,950 He is an ape...le father. 281 00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:59,387 I warned Marge... marry him. 282 00:12:59,430 --> 00:13:02,869 That's the best you can do? I'm screwed! 283 00:13:02,912 --> 00:13:05,654 Not while Ican use Final Cut Pro. 284 00:13:05,697 --> 00:13:07,047 We'll start from scratch. 285 00:13:07,090 --> 00:13:10,006 Using the only two things people still believe in: 286 00:13:10,050 --> 00:13:11,878 babies and dogs. 287 00:13:11,921 --> 00:13:13,053 [Snowball II meows sadly] 288 00:13:13,096 --> 00:13:15,664 Sorry, Snowball, cats are polarizing. 289 00:13:15,707 --> 00:13:17,884 [meows sympathetically] 290 00:13:17,927 --> 00:13:20,060 [sighs] Please... 291 00:13:20,103 --> 00:13:23,715 just give us something we can use. 292 00:13:28,111 --> 00:13:29,069 We're ready. 293 00:13:29,112 --> 00:13:31,245 Oh, now the dog won't cooperate. 294 00:13:31,288 --> 00:13:34,074 There's a trick that always works with Kevin James. 295 00:13:36,946 --> 00:13:38,469 [panting] 296 00:13:41,255 --> 00:13:43,779 ♪ I think I'll color this man father...♪ 297 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,912 MARGE: He's a guy who gets off at 5:00 298 00:13:45,955 --> 00:13:49,089 and comes directly home to be with his kids. 299 00:13:49,132 --> 00:13:51,656 ♪ Said I'm gonna color him father♪ 300 00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:53,267 ♪ Color him father...♪ 301 00:13:53,310 --> 00:13:56,270 He's incredibly generous to his friends and neighbors. 302 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:02,450 In his spare time, he loves PTA meetings. 303 00:14:02,493 --> 00:14:04,756 Helping with the Cub Scouts. 304 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,237 Or just going to the movies. 305 00:14:07,281 --> 00:14:09,239 This is Maggie, our baby. 306 00:14:09,283 --> 00:14:12,112 And she understands what's going on. 307 00:14:12,155 --> 00:14:15,332 She's never said a word, but I get the feeling 308 00:14:15,376 --> 00:14:18,335 she wants to say something now. 309 00:14:18,379 --> 00:14:21,121 Nee... Da... dy. 310 00:14:21,164 --> 00:14:23,819 What a man. 311 00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:27,040 And now we pray. 312 00:14:27,083 --> 00:14:28,737 Bless us, O Lord, for this bountiful feast... 313 00:14:28,780 --> 00:14:30,130 Not that prayer. 314 00:14:30,173 --> 00:14:32,132 I must say, I am impressed. 315 00:14:32,175 --> 00:14:35,091 So, unless the prosecution has a rebuttal, I'm inclined to... 316 00:14:35,135 --> 00:14:37,485 Not... so... fast. 317 00:14:37,528 --> 00:14:38,965 Do you have a video, too? 318 00:14:39,008 --> 00:14:40,967 No, that would be pretentious. 319 00:14:41,010 --> 00:14:45,145 -Very well, then. -I have a speech. 320 00:14:45,188 --> 00:14:48,191 -[somber music playing] -Comic book sales is a very fragile field. 321 00:14:48,235 --> 00:14:51,064 Kids hate to read, the stores smell like farts 322 00:14:51,107 --> 00:14:54,328 -and bubble gum... -[murmuring in agreement] 323 00:14:54,371 --> 00:14:57,984 Then the things I cherish most-- my father's car, 324 00:14:58,027 --> 00:15:01,117 my precious, precious comic, and most important, 325 00:15:01,161 --> 00:15:03,815 my dignity-- were taken from me. 326 00:15:05,078 --> 00:15:07,297 I'm just your ordinary small businessman. 327 00:15:07,341 --> 00:15:10,039 Never took anything from anyone. 328 00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:14,522 But I did dare to think I would be treated with respect. 329 00:15:14,565 --> 00:15:18,047 I have so many fictional heroes, Your Honor. 330 00:15:18,091 --> 00:15:21,442 For once, please give me a real one. 331 00:15:23,096 --> 00:15:25,054 [grunts] 332 00:15:25,098 --> 00:15:27,100 Best. Courtroom speech. Ever. 333 00:15:27,143 --> 00:15:28,101 Yes! 334 00:15:28,144 --> 00:15:30,190 I will render my sentence tomorrow. 335 00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:32,105 I thank you. Good night. 336 00:15:32,148 --> 00:15:33,193 Boom. 337 00:15:33,236 --> 00:15:34,977 Wait, wait, wait. Do you want to go to a movie? 338 00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:36,979 I'll go to a movie with you, Judge. 339 00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:38,807 -Youwon't be available. -Oh. 340 00:15:44,117 --> 00:15:45,640 Dad, the computer says... 341 00:15:45,683 --> 00:15:47,990 That computer has brought me nothing but trouble 342 00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:50,601 and sports scores while I'm at church! 343 00:15:50,645 --> 00:15:52,473 A store in Ogdenville just put up 344 00:15:52,516 --> 00:15:55,128 the same Radioactive Mancomic that we destroyed 345 00:15:55,171 --> 00:15:57,043 in perfect condition. 346 00:15:57,086 --> 00:15:59,001 It's my last hope at freedom. 347 00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:01,917 I mean, how much could an old comic cost? 348 00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,963 [whispering] 349 00:16:17,933 --> 00:16:19,935 [whispering] 350 00:16:23,112 --> 00:16:24,679 -Are you done? -No. 351 00:16:24,722 --> 00:16:27,638 [whispering] 352 00:16:27,682 --> 00:16:29,075 [tires screech] 353 00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:41,391 You can't be closed. It's Tuesday at 4:30! 354 00:16:41,435 --> 00:16:46,179 Do you not see the "closed" sign written in Wakandan? 355 00:16:46,222 --> 00:16:49,182 And I wasted high school learning German. 356 00:16:49,225 --> 00:16:51,401 Was fur eine Schande! 357 00:16:51,445 --> 00:16:55,492 Well, German is Earth's closest language to Klingon. 358 00:16:55,536 --> 00:16:56,885 Come on in. 359 00:17:16,383 --> 00:17:17,340 What do youwant? 360 00:17:17,384 --> 00:17:18,950 I'm extremely busy. 361 00:17:22,389 --> 00:17:24,173 Mm-hmm. 362 00:17:25,174 --> 00:17:26,654 I want to talk to you. 363 00:17:26,697 --> 00:17:30,005 I see we have reached the epilogue of our little drama. 364 00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:34,096 [screams] No, not the epilogue. Still plot. Still plot! 365 00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:35,793 Look, I know we've had our differences, 366 00:17:35,837 --> 00:17:37,317 but we can still be friends. 367 00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:40,146 Like when Superman teamed up with Lex Luthor. 368 00:17:40,189 --> 00:17:43,497 That was an imaginary story written by Harlan Ellison 369 00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:45,238 because he wanted to get fired. 370 00:17:45,281 --> 00:17:48,937 Well, maybe thiswill tickle your ponytail. 371 00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:50,286 -[boing] -[gasps] 372 00:17:50,330 --> 00:17:54,116 The Ogdenville copy! It lives! 373 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:55,030 Am I forgiven? 374 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,249 I'm afraid not. No. 375 00:17:56,292 --> 00:17:59,252 I don't have a choice. The grudge is still inside me. 376 00:17:59,295 --> 00:18:03,212 Which is also the name of a low-budget Roger Corman movie. 377 00:18:03,256 --> 00:18:04,953 Oh! What does it take? 378 00:18:04,996 --> 00:18:06,998 How to explain what I am feeling. 379 00:18:07,042 --> 00:18:09,740 Uh...look around. What do you see? 380 00:18:09,784 --> 00:18:12,134 Uh... a bunch of stuff that other people threw out? 381 00:18:12,178 --> 00:18:14,136 Like a mirror, you see everything 382 00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:16,747 but understand nothing. Get out. 383 00:18:16,791 --> 00:18:19,402 [sighs] Let's go. 384 00:18:19,446 --> 00:18:20,534 Oh, my God! Oh! 385 00:18:20,577 --> 00:18:24,059 Is that a season one Welcome Back, Kotter key chain? 386 00:18:25,191 --> 00:18:27,062 It is! The proof... 387 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,630 a John Travolta who is happy to be there! 388 00:18:29,673 --> 00:18:32,154 How did youget this? 389 00:18:32,198 --> 00:18:34,287 [applause on TV] 390 00:18:35,462 --> 00:18:37,203 Did I ever tell you about my Uncle Max? 391 00:18:37,246 --> 00:18:38,595 He was the halfback in the family. 392 00:18:38,639 --> 00:18:40,728 If you gave him a sandwich, you got half back. 393 00:18:40,771 --> 00:18:43,165 [all laughing] 394 00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:44,166 [giggling] 395 00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:45,602 This is for you, son. 396 00:18:45,646 --> 00:18:47,387 Don't say I never gave you nothing. 397 00:18:47,430 --> 00:18:49,389 Are you gonna give me anything else? 398 00:18:49,432 --> 00:18:50,390 Nope. One thing. 399 00:18:51,782 --> 00:18:55,003 Homer, when you look at your precious totem there, 400 00:18:55,046 --> 00:18:56,526 how does it make youfeel? 401 00:18:56,570 --> 00:18:58,441 I never thought of it before. 402 00:18:58,485 --> 00:18:59,399 I touch it all the time. 403 00:18:59,442 --> 00:19:01,662 I feel unhappy if I don't have it. 404 00:19:01,705 --> 00:19:03,403 Sometimes I dream about it. 405 00:19:03,446 --> 00:19:05,796 [gasps] I think I love it! 406 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:08,973 Well put. Now understand this. 407 00:19:09,017 --> 00:19:10,453 Dah! 408 00:19:10,497 --> 00:19:13,326 That is how youmade mefeel! 409 00:19:13,369 --> 00:19:15,110 [whooshes] 410 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,329 Now you see. 411 00:19:16,372 --> 00:19:18,418 And you may consider the charges dropped. 412 00:19:18,461 --> 00:19:21,029 Let us shake hands, drink rice wine, 413 00:19:21,072 --> 00:19:22,335 and enjoy Swedish Fish candy. 414 00:19:22,378 --> 00:19:24,641 Are you saying I'm off the hook? 415 00:19:24,685 --> 00:19:26,600 Yes. In fact, you may be surprised, 416 00:19:26,643 --> 00:19:28,602 but you are now my best friend. 417 00:19:28,645 --> 00:19:30,386 So I'm not going to prison? 418 00:19:30,430 --> 00:19:32,780 No, you are going to Comic-Con with me. 419 00:19:32,823 --> 00:19:34,477 Oh. Hmm. 420 00:19:34,521 --> 00:19:36,218 Let me see, let me see. 421 00:19:36,262 --> 00:19:37,872 Dad, just say yes. 422 00:19:39,830 --> 00:19:41,223 Is prison still an option? 423 00:19:41,267 --> 00:19:44,139 No. Not until you hold down Harrison Ford 424 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,228 while I clip off his fingernails. 425 00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:47,273 -Let's get to it. -[groans] 426 00:19:51,668 --> 00:19:53,670 [snoring] 427 00:19:55,890 --> 00:19:58,458 -What's this? -Mitigation video. 428 00:19:58,501 --> 00:20:02,897 When I first met Bart, I was just a nerdy kid with glasses. 429 00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:05,247 But now this blue-haired butterfly's 430 00:20:05,291 --> 00:20:07,902 ready to emerge from his pupa! 431 00:20:07,945 --> 00:20:10,513 [sighs] Simpson, you think this is helpingyou? 432 00:20:10,557 --> 00:20:12,385 [Bart laughing] 433 00:20:12,428 --> 00:20:14,735 Skinner's a jerk. Skinner's a jerk. 434 00:20:14,778 --> 00:20:17,477 Skinner's a jerk. Skinner's a jerk. 435 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:18,739 Skinner's a jerk. 436 00:20:18,782 --> 00:20:20,131 Skinner's a jerk. 437 00:20:20,175 --> 00:20:21,307 Skinner's a jerk. 438 00:21:04,350 --> 00:21:06,221 Shh!