1 00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:07,007 ♪ 2 00:00:09,177 --> 00:00:10,911 (shrieks) 3 00:00:16,184 --> 00:00:18,086 (school bell rings) 4 00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,155 (belches) 5 00:00:21,189 --> 00:00:22,190 (tires screech) 6 00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:26,360 D'oh! 7 00:00:26,394 --> 00:00:28,062 (grunts) 8 00:00:28,096 --> 00:00:30,231 (applause) 9 00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:32,166 (stammers): You sit on me. 10 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:33,867 There's a remote in my crack. 11 00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:35,336 Uh, Problems I Have! 12 00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,171 I could use a slip cover. 13 00:00:37,205 --> 00:00:39,173 Um, uh, Things Your Sister Would Say! 14 00:00:39,207 --> 00:00:41,008 No. Uh... (gasps) 15 00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:43,344 You haven't replaced me since 1989. 16 00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,246 Things a Couch Would Say! 17 00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:48,015 -Yes! -(bell dinging) 18 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,050 ♪ 19 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,758 Hopefully, we won't be out too late, Shauna. 20 00:00:57,791 --> 00:00:59,193 (Valley girl accent): Whatever. 21 00:00:59,227 --> 00:01:00,228 And just for the night, 22 00:01:00,261 --> 00:01:02,029 could you lose the tongue ring? 23 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,397 Whatever. 24 00:01:03,431 --> 00:01:06,267 Homer, is it too late to change babysitters? 25 00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:07,401 Yes. 26 00:01:07,435 --> 00:01:09,036 So I'll have to stay home. 27 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:11,739 I don't think we have to-- Homer. 28 00:01:11,772 --> 00:01:13,241 Yes, Marge?! 29 00:01:13,274 --> 00:01:16,944 We both have to go to Drug Awareness Night! 30 00:01:16,977 --> 00:01:19,547 (sighs) I guess we have no choice. 31 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:22,082 Here's the number for the poison control center, 32 00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:24,118 the allergy hotline, 33 00:01:24,152 --> 00:01:26,053 and, if the kids misbehave, 34 00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,888 Papa John's Pizza. 35 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,123 Don't worry, Mrs. Simpson. 36 00:01:29,157 --> 00:01:31,091 We'll take great care of your kids. 37 00:01:31,125 --> 00:01:32,059 "We"? 38 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:33,627 Uh, me and God. 39 00:01:33,661 --> 00:01:34,928 Okay, then. 40 00:01:34,962 --> 00:01:36,964 We'll see you soon. 41 00:01:39,167 --> 00:01:42,069 (moaning) 42 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:46,073 Want to watch videos of pythons swallowing stuff? 43 00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:49,243 Uh, can't we watch something with kittens? 44 00:01:49,277 --> 00:01:51,078 Oh, there's kittens in there. 45 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:52,513 (kitten meows) 46 00:01:55,283 --> 00:01:57,251 This is pointless. 47 00:01:57,285 --> 00:01:59,820 We learned all the new dangerous drugs last year: 48 00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:02,590 sprack, zup, borzo, and crystal bam. 49 00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:05,125 I hear they're mixing bam with zup. 50 00:02:05,159 --> 00:02:06,327 Interesting. 51 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:08,929 Bam and zup. (chuckles) 52 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:11,098 This seminar's already paying for itself. 53 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,667 Homer Simpson, are you watching football 54 00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:15,469 through your pants pocket? 55 00:02:15,503 --> 00:02:19,440 But do you know how much love is lost between these teams? 56 00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:20,608 None! 57 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:23,110 Turn it off! 58 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,346 This bag of concentrated death 59 00:02:25,379 --> 00:02:28,649 is what the kids today call "blizzard." 60 00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:30,117 Allow me to demonstrate. 61 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,286 On Skin-ner! 62 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:34,955 Superintendent, I-I must protest. 63 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,124 I'm an educational professional who... 64 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,460 -(grunting) -That's a good boy. 65 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:40,628 Take your medicine. 66 00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:41,662 (inhales, sighs) 67 00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:43,964 Oh, let's get out of here. 68 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:47,000 I guess we can watch the PowerPoint presentation 69 00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:48,168 in bed tonight. 70 00:02:48,202 --> 00:02:50,371 Oh, that sounds magical. 71 00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:52,740 (quietly): Just don't be conspicuous. 72 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,509 (phone ringing) 73 00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:56,644 Ooh, it's Lenny. 74 00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:58,646 Homer, I found my birth mom! 75 00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:01,315 Her name is Cheryl, and she wants nothing to do with... 76 00:03:01,349 --> 00:03:02,683 (Marge groans) 77 00:03:03,584 --> 00:03:06,320 (gasps) A wedding expo! 78 00:03:06,354 --> 00:03:08,856 Marge, there is no way I'd ever be interested in-- 79 00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:10,324 Is there a girl in that cake? 80 00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:12,159 No, just cake. 81 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,528 Oh... that is so sexy. 82 00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:15,996 After you, Marge. 83 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,532 Ooh, a wedding expo! 84 00:03:18,566 --> 00:03:21,735 It's like going to a thousand weddings at once. 85 00:03:21,769 --> 00:03:25,739 Sneaking in will be the most romantic thing we've ever done. 86 00:03:25,773 --> 00:03:27,241 More than our real wedding? 87 00:03:27,275 --> 00:03:29,343 A thousand times more. 88 00:03:29,377 --> 00:03:32,346 I was pregnant, and you had a fever of 103. 89 00:03:32,380 --> 00:03:35,082 103.4. 90 00:03:35,115 --> 00:03:37,785 Aw, you remembered. 91 00:03:45,092 --> 00:03:47,060 ("Allegro Non Molto" from Vivaldi's Four Seasons playing) 92 00:03:49,797 --> 00:03:52,533 (sniffles) It's so beautiful. 93 00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:53,901 (sniffles) Oh. 94 00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:57,070 Even the prenups are gorgeous. 95 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,208 (techno music playing) 96 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,210 Your bride will look radiant 97 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,245 next to these hideous bridesmaids dresses 98 00:04:05,279 --> 00:04:07,715 made in colors known to scare seagulls. 99 00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:10,083 Oh, so beautiful! 100 00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:11,452 Come back here, you. 101 00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:14,054 You've got 12 more drugs to test. 102 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:17,658 I both see and am God. 103 00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,461 (suspenseful music playing) 104 00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:23,397 Who will protect me when you die? 105 00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:25,899 Nothing's gonna happen to... 106 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:26,734 (grunts) 107 00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,402 Does this house have a mixer? 108 00:04:28,436 --> 00:04:30,103 We could make face cookies. 109 00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:31,739 (chuckles) 110 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:34,742 Aw! You're gonna make such a good dad. 111 00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:37,411 (moaning) 112 00:04:37,445 --> 00:04:39,413 (groans) I feel like a walk. 113 00:04:39,447 --> 00:04:40,981 You want to take a walk? 114 00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:44,418 I feel glued to my seat for reasons I don't understand. 115 00:04:44,452 --> 00:04:45,786 It's all over, sweetheart. 116 00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:47,421 The curse is broken. 117 00:04:47,455 --> 00:04:49,923 Grandma will take care of you from now o... 118 00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:51,925 -(groans) -(buzzing) 119 00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:52,960 Ah! 120 00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:55,463 Come on! 121 00:04:56,864 --> 00:04:58,265 (Shauna giggling) 122 00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:00,000 JIMBO: Let's see if we can both fit 123 00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:01,802 in Homer's underwear. 124 00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:03,604 This is very sobering. 125 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:06,340 Why did we think this would be cool? 126 00:05:06,374 --> 00:05:08,141 What are you kids doing out so late? 127 00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:10,110 Babysitter party at our house. 128 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,279 Why don't you come inside for a mug of cocoa? 129 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,947 -(ding) -Coco-nut, that is, 130 00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:16,484 to fill your belly with much-needed potassium. 131 00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:17,485 (chuckles): Grins, people. 132 00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:18,486 Thanks. 133 00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:20,187 Potassi-yum. 134 00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:21,455 This was a great idea. 135 00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:23,524 It's like all the fun of a wedding 136 00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:25,459 without the boredom of a wedding! 137 00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:27,495 And who are you two? 138 00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:29,329 Um, why, we're... 139 00:05:29,363 --> 00:05:30,798 wedding planners! 140 00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:33,634 Yes, and we're wondering about your products. 141 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,836 (giggles) For our clients. 142 00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:39,540 Well, the Toast Master is an AI-powered microphone 143 00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:42,042 that guarantees your best man's toast 144 00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:44,478 will be heartwarming and tasteful, 145 00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:47,981 no matter how drunk or passive-aggressive he is. 146 00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:49,650 Ooh. Give it a try, Homie. 147 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:51,351 Oh, I couldn't. 148 00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:53,854 Pretend one of my sisters is getting married. 149 00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:55,856 That hairy-legged ashtray? 150 00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:57,391 Give me the mic. 151 00:05:57,425 --> 00:05:59,359 When I heard a guy was marrying Selma, 152 00:05:59,393 --> 00:06:01,495 -I thought, That poor... -MALE VOICE: Genius. 153 00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:03,497 -...must be... -Fully sighted. 154 00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:04,865 -...and... -Not marrying her 155 00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:05,999 to harvest her organs. 156 00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:07,367 (laughs) 157 00:06:07,401 --> 00:06:08,669 Thank God. The Heffernans. 158 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,370 Oh, right. That's me. 159 00:06:10,404 --> 00:06:12,072 D.R. Heffernan. 160 00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:13,674 -(quietly): That's "Doctor." -Right. 161 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,375 Dr. D.R. Heffernan. 162 00:06:15,409 --> 00:06:17,177 The keynote speech is in two minutes. 163 00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:20,514 -What's a keynote speech? -(chuckles) 164 00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:23,751 Imagine Dr. Heffernan asking me what a keynote speech is. 165 00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:24,885 This way. 166 00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:26,687 Finally, things are looking up 167 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,022 for the person I'm pretending to be. 168 00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:30,524 (laughter) 169 00:06:30,558 --> 00:06:33,093 And the number one new wedding trend is... 170 00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:35,095 True love! 171 00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:38,198 AUDIENCE: True love! True love! 172 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:41,034 Buy our book if we have one. 173 00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:43,904 I'm starting to think that's not Dr. Heffernan. 174 00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:48,041 (moaning) 175 00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:49,543 (chuckles) What a... 176 00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:52,546 (moans) ...perfect night. 177 00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:54,548 You wait here while I go... 178 00:06:54,582 --> 00:06:58,218 (seductively): pay the babysitter. 179 00:06:58,251 --> 00:06:59,453 -(laughter) -(loud music playing) 180 00:06:59,487 --> 00:07:00,788 I'm not paying you! 181 00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:02,623 Get out of my house! 182 00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:07,094 -Later. -And now, my lady, to the boudoir, 183 00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:10,297 which I believe is somewhere near the bedroom. 184 00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:11,298 (chuckles): Ooh! 185 00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:13,066 Ooh! 186 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,569 (grunts) Have I picked you up yet? 187 00:07:15,603 --> 00:07:17,304 I can't te-- Oh! 188 00:07:17,337 --> 00:07:18,472 (strained): You're so light! 189 00:07:18,506 --> 00:07:20,107 (grunting) 190 00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:22,309 -Ow! -(inhales deeply) 191 00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:23,477 (strained): Perfect end to... 192 00:07:23,511 --> 00:07:25,445 perfect night! 193 00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:27,748 Voulez-vous coucher avec... 194 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,750 -(cracking, popping) -(screams) 195 00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:31,251 (grunting) 196 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:33,787 -What the?! (shouting) -Ow! 197 00:07:33,821 --> 00:07:36,323 (both groaning) 198 00:07:36,356 --> 00:07:38,826 I guess we should stop listening now. 199 00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:40,127 No one's making you stay. 200 00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:47,501 Marge, I'm afraid your days of walking are over. 201 00:07:47,535 --> 00:07:48,769 Oh, my God! 202 00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,504 For about 36 hours. 203 00:07:50,538 --> 00:07:53,273 By then, this mild ankle sprain should be good as new. 204 00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:54,842 It's my fault. 205 00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:58,278 Homie wouldn't have dropped me if I hadn't put on a few pounds. 206 00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:01,348 Nonsense. It's not your fault you're married to a... 207 00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:03,283 this. 208 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:04,952 (moans) 209 00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,621 And it was such a good date night. 210 00:08:07,655 --> 00:08:09,456 Well, now it's a hernia morning. 211 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,959 See, you've got a tear in your abdominal wall 212 00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:14,628 and a section of your intestine has pushed through. 213 00:08:14,662 --> 00:08:16,463 Aren't you going to chuckle? 214 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,465 An inguinal hernia is no laughing matter. 215 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:19,700 (chuckles) 216 00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:21,001 "Inguinal." 217 00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:22,803 Will I need surgery? 218 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,337 Possibly. But don't be alarmed. 219 00:08:24,371 --> 00:08:26,640 It's just some scalpel work around your scrotum. 220 00:08:26,674 --> 00:08:28,475 (groans) 221 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,844 -(engine revs, tires screech) -A little more. 222 00:08:30,878 --> 00:08:32,546 -(engine revs, tires screech) -Little more. 223 00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:34,715 -(engine revs, tires screech) -Little more... 224 00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:36,650 No, those are the wipers! 225 00:08:36,684 --> 00:08:38,986 Oh, you just called OnStar. 226 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,988 Now, look, you two, you're not kids anymore. 227 00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,990 Listen to your body. It'll tell you what to do. 228 00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:45,325 (engine revs, tires screech) 229 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:46,493 WOMAN: OnStar operator. 230 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:47,728 What is your emergency? 231 00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:50,163 Every comedian I thought is funny 232 00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:51,699 is dead. 233 00:08:51,732 --> 00:08:55,502 ♪ The Itchy and Scratchy Show! ♪ 234 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,504 Hmm. "Possible side effects 235 00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,840 may include hallucinations..." 236 00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,009 (angrily): ...mm, "irritability, 237 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:06,379 inability to fo... cus." 238 00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:08,515 Blah, blah, blah. 239 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,383 "Do not mix with alcohol"? 240 00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:12,185 Fine, I'll drink it separately. 241 00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:13,787 Boy, get me a beer. 242 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,691 -(Bart humming) -(grunting) 243 00:09:17,725 --> 00:09:19,526 -Huh? What are you doing? -(chuckles) 244 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:20,560 Helping you get better. 245 00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:21,929 I was watching Animal Planet, 246 00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:23,697 and they said, if it can't reach its own food, 247 00:09:23,731 --> 00:09:25,265 the hippo dies. 248 00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:26,533 Why, you little...! 249 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,201 (chuckles) 250 00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:30,704 Bart, honey, your father and I need you 251 00:09:30,738 --> 00:09:32,706 to be a little more grown-up. 252 00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:33,741 Can you do that? 253 00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:35,208 I bet you can. 254 00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:36,944 You got it, Mom. 255 00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:41,615 (humming) 256 00:09:41,649 --> 00:09:44,785 Honey, I signed us up for physical therapy this afternoon. 257 00:09:44,818 --> 00:09:46,553 They sound terrific. 258 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,055 Even booking the appointment, 259 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,057 they told me, "Great job." 260 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,424 Absolutely. 261 00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:52,592 I want to get better. 262 00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:53,894 I really do. 263 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:54,962 I know you do. 264 00:09:54,995 --> 00:09:56,563 We'll start tomorrow. 265 00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,632 Mwah. 266 00:09:58,666 --> 00:10:00,567 MALE VOICE: I would caution against physical therapy. 267 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,637 Guys like us don't look good in shorts. 268 00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:08,776 Oh, why is it never hair growth? 269 00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:11,578 It's me, your hernia. 270 00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:14,581 Homer, your doctor told you to listen to your body. 271 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:15,816 And I am telling you, 272 00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:18,251 just take it easy. 273 00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:19,252 Are you sure? 274 00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:21,121 I just promised Marge. 275 00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:23,590 Take it from your hernia. 276 00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,125 (giggles) 277 00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:27,127 (Marge grunting) 278 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:29,129 (New Zealand accent): Oh, you've got this, Marge! 279 00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:30,798 Now, focus on your co-ah. 280 00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:33,600 I guess I've been neglecting my key-aah. 281 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,135 Is it this? 282 00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:37,604 No. All I can say is, if you have a muscle 283 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:40,941 and you know what it does, then that is not the co-ah. 284 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,609 Oh, the core. 285 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,277 Right, that's what I said-- co-ah. 286 00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:47,180 Now, what sports are we gettin' you ready for, Marge? 287 00:10:47,214 --> 00:10:49,282 Rollerblading? Uh, Muay Thai? 288 00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,618 No, nothing like that. 289 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,620 I only have to be in good enough shape 290 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:57,290 to take care of an immobile 240-pound man. 291 00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:58,992 Ah, so Homer isn't coming, eh? 292 00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:01,161 You know, I could go to him at work. 293 00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:03,663 Oh, he's got enough stress at work. 294 00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:07,868 All right, well, we'll get you into something. 295 00:11:07,901 --> 00:11:09,870 Uh, mountain biking? Free bouldering? 296 00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:14,674 I got it. Marge, we are going to get you kitesurfing! 297 00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:15,876 Kitesurfing? 298 00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:17,911 I could do that with Homie. 299 00:11:22,750 --> 00:11:23,917 (alarm blares) 300 00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:26,553 You know what? 301 00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:29,322 I'm not letting Homer drag me down this time. 302 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:32,192 Yes, I want to learn kitesurfing. 303 00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:33,727 ♪ Let's go kitesurfing now ♪ 304 00:11:33,761 --> 00:11:35,195 ♪ Middle-aged ladies learning how ♪ 305 00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:37,697 ♪ Come on Kitesurf-ari with me... ♪ 306 00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:38,999 Kitesurfing's a simple sport. 307 00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:41,334 All you need is the wind and the waves. 308 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:45,038 And a spreader-bar, bindings, impact vest, chicken loop, 309 00:11:45,072 --> 00:11:47,340 donkey stick, squirrel clip, and, of course, parking pass. 310 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:51,511 Yeah, ruining people's day at the beach. 311 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:54,514 We are worse than sand in a hot dog, eh, Lou? 312 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:56,083 You know there's a double murder downtown? 313 00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:59,086 Well, now it's a triple, 'cause you just killed my day. 314 00:11:59,119 --> 00:12:00,553 Keep the kite swooping, Marge. 315 00:12:00,587 --> 00:12:02,589 Follow the timing of my pecs. 316 00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:04,591 Left, right, left, right, 317 00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:05,859 left, left, right... 318 00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:07,895 Ah. Don't look me in the eyes, Marge. 319 00:12:07,928 --> 00:12:09,529 My pecs are down here. 320 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:10,864 There you are. 321 00:12:10,898 --> 00:12:13,066 Left, right, left, left, right... 322 00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:16,703 So, Mom is kitesurfing 323 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:19,106 while Dad is eating three desserts. 324 00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:22,375 Oh, your grandma and I had our differences, 325 00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:26,713 but we stopped arguing when she disappeared for three decades. 326 00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:27,915 Oh. 327 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,117 Oh, it's so nice 328 00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:32,119 to get an evening out just with you. 329 00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:33,753 Can I get you a baby chair? 330 00:12:33,787 --> 00:12:35,055 No? You're good? 331 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,556 Homer's-a talking to nobody. 332 00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,758 The Cat Lady is eating with cats. 333 00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:40,894 Ralph is in-a the lobster tank? 334 00:12:40,928 --> 00:12:42,896 I'm expensive. 335 00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:44,731 Homer, you're doing great. 336 00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:47,434 Look at those guys-- eating half portions, 337 00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:49,469 trying to stay fit. 338 00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:52,239 They're just setting themselves up to meet my buddies 339 00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:55,642 Torn ACL and Pinched Nerve. 340 00:12:55,675 --> 00:12:57,144 Now, you, you're smart. 341 00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:59,579 The most strenuous thing you're gonna do 342 00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:02,582 is fart "The Star Spangled Banner." 343 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,784 Mm, that's got a difficult range. 344 00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:06,653 Is there an easier anthem? 345 00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:10,824 Hey, the riskiest thing we're gonna do is have lasagna. 346 00:13:10,858 --> 00:13:12,759 We just had lasagna. 347 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:13,994 Have it again! 348 00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:15,628 Nobody's gonna stop you. 349 00:13:15,662 --> 00:13:17,364 I love you. 350 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,134 Who are you? 351 00:13:21,168 --> 00:13:23,803 Cirrhosis. What's it to ya? 352 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,776 Homer, I'm going to the beach. 353 00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:32,279 I packed lunch for two if you want to come. 354 00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:33,680 Oh, the beach. 355 00:13:33,713 --> 00:13:35,782 Sure. Let's get sunstroke, 356 00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:37,851 a hyperextended tendon, 357 00:13:37,885 --> 00:13:41,621 and wrap it up by getting decapitated by a Frisbee. 358 00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,456 Hard pass. 359 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,625 Sorry, Marge. Hard pass. 360 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:49,029 (sighs) It's been so long since you made a move on me. 361 00:13:49,062 --> 00:13:50,797 Or any move. 362 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:53,166 Um, how about if I drone you a kiss? 363 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,501 (kiss) 364 00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,039 (horn honks) 365 00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:00,673 Hurry up, Marge. 366 00:14:00,707 --> 00:14:02,642 We're gonna catch big air all morning, 367 00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:05,645 sleep all afternoon, then boil a sheep for breakfast. 368 00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,680 I'm still on New Zealand time. 369 00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:10,150 Been here 12 years but can't shake it. 370 00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:12,852 Please, Homer, you're my husband. 371 00:14:12,886 --> 00:14:15,055 Get up and live. 372 00:14:15,088 --> 00:14:17,690 Sorry, Marge. I got to go with my gut. 373 00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:19,559 -(yawns) -(blows raspberry) 374 00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:25,398 If you don't come after me, there's a big problem. 375 00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:28,701 The drone doesn't count. 376 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:36,876 Hey. Can you watch the kids this afternoon? 377 00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:38,545 Sorry, Marge. 378 00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:40,013 Hernia. 379 00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:41,881 We make quite a team. 380 00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:43,583 Who are you talking to? 381 00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:45,852 Hey, I do not have voices in my head. 382 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,520 (quietly): They're in my crotch. 383 00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:49,089 -(giggles) -Ooh! 384 00:14:49,122 --> 00:14:52,225 Just call my sisters to watch the kids. 385 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:55,362 (snoring) 386 00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:56,896 Let's drop him in the woods 387 00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:58,898 and see if he can find his way back. 388 00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,538 Our parents are drifting apart. 389 00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:08,041 And as much as I don't enjoy doing this, 390 00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:10,710 I need the advice of the only couple we know 391 00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,712 that seems to like each other. 392 00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,247 I'm stuck with you. 393 00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:16,749 Relationships are simple, really. 394 00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:19,219 Like, if Shauna's best friend Tiffany comes on to me, 395 00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:20,954 I make out with Shauna, 396 00:15:20,988 --> 00:15:23,123 but I pretend it's her friend. 397 00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:24,257 Aw. 398 00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:25,558 (moaning) 399 00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:27,560 Tiffany. Oh, yeah. 400 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:28,962 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 401 00:15:28,996 --> 00:15:31,264 Guys. Guys, guys, guys. Let's focus! 402 00:15:31,298 --> 00:15:32,299 Focus. 403 00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:34,401 Please give me something useful. 404 00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:36,936 Okay. Your parents have just got to find 405 00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:38,938 something they both like doing. 406 00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:40,940 Like, I like laughing at losers. 407 00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:43,743 And I make losers happen. 408 00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:46,413 -(grunts) -(laughing) 409 00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:48,748 (moaning) 410 00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:50,750 (gasps) Common interests! 411 00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,019 Of course. 412 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,157 TV ANNOUNCER: Back now to live coverage 413 00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:59,926 of Little XII college golf on ESPN-D3-2, 414 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:03,263 your second home for Division III sports. 415 00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:05,265 Dad, can you drive us down to the beach? 416 00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:08,001 I have a school project on... sea turtles. 417 00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:10,037 Don't listen to them. 418 00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:13,273 You can see me?! 419 00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,475 It's always the babies. 420 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:22,615 Hey. Where are the turtles? 421 00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:24,851 There are no turtles, Homer. It's a trick. 422 00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:27,787 These kids are trying to help you, 'cause they love you. 423 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:31,124 So there never were turtles? 424 00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:32,159 No turtles! 425 00:16:32,192 --> 00:16:33,626 I'm starting to think 426 00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:36,129 there were no turtles. 427 00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:37,730 (gasps) Marge. 428 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,633 She looks so beautiful. 429 00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,502 I've been such a fool. 430 00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:45,872 And you forgot to get a parking pass. Heh. 431 00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:47,907 Our work is done, Lou. 432 00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,577 (shudders): Oh... 433 00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:59,319 I'll never let myself go like that! 434 00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:01,354 I'm-a comin', Marge! 435 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,257 Ew! Gross! 436 00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:08,228 Homer, you're making me mad. 437 00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:10,830 And if there's one thing you don't want to aggravate, 438 00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,865 it's a hernia! 439 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,172 I'm Marge's husband, Homer. 440 00:17:19,206 --> 00:17:21,007 Homer! Good-o! 441 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,009 Would you like me to rehab you at work? 442 00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:25,412 I could come right to you. Same price. 443 00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:28,681 Maybe. But now I need your biggest, fastest kite. 444 00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:29,916 -The Widdamaka? -What? 445 00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:31,718 Can you say that without an accent? 446 00:17:31,751 --> 00:17:33,853 -(without accent): The Widowmaker. -Oh! That's scary! 447 00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:35,888 -Back to the accent! -The Widdamaka. 448 00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:37,023 I'll take it! 449 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,192 When I got married, I took a vow: 450 00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:40,693 "Something, something, something 451 00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:42,595 till death something." 452 00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:47,700 (yelps) 453 00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,436 Homer! Rooster your gimbal! 454 00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:50,737 Rooster your gimbal! 455 00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:52,105 What does that mean?! 456 00:17:52,139 --> 00:17:53,640 Pull the rope! 457 00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:56,809 The other rope. 458 00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:00,880 Homie! 459 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,449 You came for me! 460 00:18:02,482 --> 00:18:04,451 And I'll never leave you. 461 00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:06,719 Except right now when the wind blows me 462 00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,288 (fading): God knows where.... 463 00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:10,757 They're headed for a wind farm! 464 00:18:12,325 --> 00:18:13,593 (both gasp) 465 00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:16,229 BOTH: Whoa...! 466 00:18:16,263 --> 00:18:17,564 (kiss) 467 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,065 Whoa...! 468 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,099 (kiss) 469 00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:22,335 Whoa...! 470 00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:28,975 (New England accent): Well, Mother, looks like we caught 471 00:18:29,008 --> 00:18:30,943 a couple more kiteboarders. 472 00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:33,780 -I'll get the big ladder. -I'll tell the hospital 473 00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:36,949 their power's gonna be down for a while. 474 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:41,087 Strong woman, I love you. 475 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,790 (exhales) And I love you. 476 00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:46,926 And never again will I listen to a doctor. 477 00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:49,095 Wait, that's not the takeaway. 478 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,130 Takeaway? That's a good idea! 479 00:18:51,164 --> 00:18:53,266 Yello? Pizza Palace? 480 00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:55,268 Can I get a Henry the Eight-Inch Pizza 481 00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:56,436 with extra meat? 482 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:58,805 And a side of chocolate cheesy bread? 483 00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:00,006 No such thing. 484 00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:01,808 -Can you make it anyways? -(groans) 485 00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:08,114 Chief, I've got to make dinner for my kids. Could you please 486 00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:10,817 -tell me what this is about? -Like most physical therapists 487 00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:14,787 in America, this man is actually a Russian spy. 488 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:17,156 Nigel is a spy? 489 00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:18,491 Dimitri Nigelovonovitch. 490 00:19:18,525 --> 00:19:20,960 Did you ever wonder why he was so interested 491 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,962 in seeing your husband at work? 492 00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,131 I thought it was close to his house. 493 00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:28,301 Didn't you ever ask yourself how a beach bum like him 494 00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:31,638 could afford a top-of-the-line 2007 Saturn SUV 495 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,640 with a full spare tire? 496 00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:35,675 I guess I didn't want to know. 497 00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:40,079 Just thank God, thank God your husband is entrapping him now. 498 00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:44,817 Homer, I just need a few pictures of... 499 00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:46,519 the co-ah. 500 00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:48,488 -The what? -Goo-ah. 501 00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:51,324 -The car? -Goo-ah. 502 00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:53,326 Like a crow? Caw? 503 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,161 Co-ahr-car? 504 00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:58,197 (Russian accent): Damn it. Show me your reactor core. 505 00:19:58,231 --> 00:20:00,233 All units, move in! 506 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,873 ("Theme from Mission: Impossible" playing) 507 00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:17,384 ♪ 508 00:21:09,336 --> 00:21:11,338 Shh!