1
00:00:06,966 --> 00:00:09,925
[bored teenager over p.A.]
attention, shoppers,
a mother's love is forever,
2
00:00:09,927 --> 00:00:11,260
But mother's love rat poison
3
00:00:11,262 --> 00:00:13,470
Is only on sale
till the end of the day.
4
00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:16,598
Aw.
5
00:00:17,727 --> 00:00:20,060
[birds singing]
6
00:00:20,062 --> 00:00:23,147
Mommy! I was waiting
by the window.
7
00:00:23,149 --> 00:00:24,982
Can I carry the bag
with the milks?
8
00:00:24,984 --> 00:00:26,859
I'm really strong.
9
00:00:26,861 --> 00:00:28,110
[bart grunts]
10
00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:30,571
I drew you picture.
11
00:00:30,573 --> 00:00:32,114
Yes, she did.
12
00:00:32,116 --> 00:00:34,658
She drew it in pudding.
13
00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:36,869
[marge]
oh. Pretty.
14
00:00:36,871 --> 00:00:38,537
But we should clean that up.
15
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:39,997
No!
16
00:00:39,999 --> 00:00:41,373
-No, no, no!
-Fine, fine, fine.
17
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:42,708
-Pudding mommy can stay.
-No kill pudding mommy!
18
00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:45,461
You should've seen when I ate
part of ketchup daddy.
19
00:00:45,463 --> 00:00:46,462
[crying]
no!
20
00:00:46,464 --> 00:00:48,380
Look what I got.
21
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:49,423
[gasps]
22
00:00:49,425 --> 00:00:52,051
Oh, I love you,
love you, love you.
23
00:00:52,053 --> 00:00:54,470
Oh, let's play bubbles now.
24
00:00:54,472 --> 00:00:55,554
[laughs]
25
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,139
[laughing]
26
00:00:57,141 --> 00:00:59,850
This is a perfect moment.
27
00:00:59,852 --> 00:01:02,061
[sobbing]
28
00:01:02,897 --> 00:01:04,897
Marge, what's wrong?
29
00:01:04,899 --> 00:01:07,983
It... It's slipping away.
30
00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:09,684
You need to stop that.
31
00:01:09,686 --> 00:01:11,695
W-what did you say?
32
00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:12,780
Bart!
33
00:01:12,782 --> 00:01:14,865
-Whee! I'm flying!
-Ah! [grunts]
34
00:01:14,867 --> 00:01:17,993
Bart! Bart!
W-what is happening?
35
00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:21,663
No!
36
00:01:21,665 --> 00:01:22,664
Oh!
37
00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:24,541
Oh. [moans]
38
00:01:24,543 --> 00:01:26,960
Oh, no. He popped.
39
00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:30,047
No, no! Don't sue me, dracula!
40
00:01:30,049 --> 00:01:32,716
[groans] did you say something?
41
00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:34,093
Oh, I-I was dreaming about
42
00:01:34,095 --> 00:01:35,344
Those bubble parties
43
00:01:35,346 --> 00:01:37,429
We used to have with the kids.
44
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:39,431
But I was so sad.
45
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,100
Why were you sad?
46
00:01:41,102 --> 00:01:43,769
Because I knew it was gonna end.
47
00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:45,896
[yawns]
48
00:01:45,898 --> 00:01:47,689
I get it. That's why, for me,
49
00:01:47,691 --> 00:01:50,943
The last foot
of a six-foot party sub is...
50
00:01:50,945 --> 00:01:52,194
Bittersweet.
51
00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:55,072
[gasps] honey, you're drenched!
52
00:01:55,074 --> 00:01:57,282
[groans] it's bubble juice.
53
00:01:57,284 --> 00:02:00,369
Oh, honey,
you don't look so good.
54
00:02:00,371 --> 00:02:02,162
I mean, I think you look great,
55
00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:04,414
But someone else, say, a doctor,
56
00:02:04,416 --> 00:02:06,875
Might be alarmed
at your pale skin
57
00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:09,086
That is both hot and cold.
58
00:02:09,088 --> 00:02:13,215
Why did we eat at Tuesday
o'fridayhan's last night?
59
00:02:13,217 --> 00:02:17,136
[groans] I had three
glasses of froz-sé.
60
00:02:17,138 --> 00:02:19,763
And a couple froz-oody marys.
61
00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:21,974
[laughs] we got pretty hammered.
62
00:02:21,976 --> 00:02:24,143
Ugh. And then we bought hot dogs
63
00:02:24,145 --> 00:02:26,353
From that sketchy street vendor.
64
00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:29,356
Oh, but they smelled so good.
65
00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:31,233
-Wrapped in bacon...
-Hmm?
66
00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:32,734
...Sizzling in that hubcap...
67
00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:34,027
Oh.
68
00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:38,365
[retching]
69
00:02:39,243 --> 00:02:40,742
-Ugh.
-Homer, don't listen.
70
00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:43,871
We have to keep the-- [retches]
71
00:02:43,873 --> 00:02:46,165
Romance alive!
72
00:02:47,418 --> 00:02:50,627
[gasps] I wonder why
you didn't get sick.
73
00:02:50,629 --> 00:02:53,964
The clinical term is:
I'm all throwed up.
74
00:02:53,966 --> 00:02:55,382
Should we call dr. Hibbert?
75
00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:59,595
No, no, I-I'm good now,
it's all gone.
76
00:02:59,597 --> 00:03:01,013
All better.
77
00:03:01,015 --> 00:03:02,931
Ooh, bounce-a-thon is tomorrow.
78
00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:04,266
I don't think
you're gonna make it.
79
00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:06,226
I'll call the school
in the morning.
80
00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:09,104
[groans] I have to go.
81
00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:11,064
I volunteered for three jobs
82
00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:14,067
On pta-martyr.Com.
83
00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:17,738
Frickin' pta-martyr.Com.
84
00:03:17,740 --> 00:03:19,865
[snores]
85
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,658
Where is he?
86
00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:22,784
Peek-a-boo!
87
00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:24,328
[gasps] oh.
88
00:03:24,330 --> 00:03:25,537
[laughs]
89
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,164
-Where is he?
-[clock ticking]
90
00:03:27,166 --> 00:03:29,499
Where's my special little guy?
91
00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:31,793
Bart? Where are you?
92
00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:33,378
[bart whispers]
don't let go.
93
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:34,463
[whimpers]
94
00:03:34,465 --> 00:03:35,672
Hmm?
95
00:03:37,927 --> 00:03:39,384
It's okay.
96
00:03:43,349 --> 00:03:44,640
Your coat.
97
00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:47,392
-[echoing laughter]
-bart?
98
00:03:49,063 --> 00:03:50,687
Can somebody help me?
99
00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:52,314
I've lost my little boy.
100
00:03:52,316 --> 00:03:53,690
Bart!
101
00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:55,734
Oh no. I was just about to beat
102
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,444
These mutant houseflies
at tennis.
103
00:03:57,446 --> 00:03:58,737
What do you want?
104
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:01,615
I've lost my-my little boy.
105
00:04:01,617 --> 00:04:03,700
[homer]
you know this is
a dream, right?
106
00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:07,079
[through didgeridoo]
bee-eer-err.
107
00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:09,331
Well, that would explain a lot.
108
00:04:09,333 --> 00:04:10,832
[homer]
yeah, in the waking world,
109
00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:12,292
I'm not great at didgeridoo.
110
00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:14,086
Is this one of those dreams
111
00:04:14,088 --> 00:04:16,129
Where you know you're dreaming?
112
00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:19,049
There's a name for it,
somebody once told me...
113
00:04:19,051 --> 00:04:20,717
I'm the one who told you.
114
00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:22,094
That's right.
115
00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:23,971
I'm your inner lisa.
116
00:04:23,973 --> 00:04:27,015
I remember everything
lisa ever said to you.
117
00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:29,393
Exactly the way you heard it.
118
00:04:29,395 --> 00:04:32,062
Really? So you can tell me
what lisa said
119
00:04:32,064 --> 00:04:34,231
About dreaming when you know
you're dreaming?
120
00:04:34,233 --> 00:04:38,560
Yep. It's a scientifical
concept called "lucy dreaming."
121
00:04:38,562 --> 00:04:42,155
It was invented by sleep doctors
from a country somewhere.
122
00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:45,075
Wow. She's as smart
as old sheldon.
123
00:04:45,077 --> 00:04:47,244
Since this is your lucy dream,
124
00:04:47,246 --> 00:04:50,163
You control everything
that happens.
125
00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:53,166
So I'm the one making
homer an otter?
126
00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:56,295
Yes. He appears in many forms
in your dreams.
127
00:04:56,297 --> 00:04:58,880
Dad's an otter because yesterday
128
00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:00,299
He was lying in a kiddie pool,
129
00:05:00,301 --> 00:05:02,259
Eating nachos off his belly.
130
00:05:02,261 --> 00:05:04,886
It's a table
that's always with me.
131
00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:06,221
[lisa]
sometimes dad's a clown,
132
00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:07,889
Sometimes a potato,
133
00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:09,766
Sometimes a clown-potato.
134
00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:13,061
And sometimes, he's both
of the property brothers.
135
00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:14,646
-Why am I these guys?
-Why am I these guys?
136
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,648
Never mind, I know why.
137
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:19,943
But why am I having
nightmares about bart?
138
00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:21,320
Did something happen?
139
00:05:21,322 --> 00:05:23,530
How do I look
at recent memories?
140
00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:25,449
It's your lucy dream,
you decide.
141
00:05:25,451 --> 00:05:28,535
Oh. So I can decide that
all my thoughts from yesterday
142
00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:31,663
Are stored in,
I don't know, the oven?
143
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:32,831
Sure, why not?
144
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,124
Hmm.
145
00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:40,797
[marge]
hmm. Here we go.
146
00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:42,632
[bart]
mom! Come quick!
147
00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:43,800
[marge]
whoa!
148
00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:46,136
I'm here. I'm here, bart.
What happened?
149
00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:48,764
-Splinter.
-Oh. That's it?
150
00:05:48,766 --> 00:05:50,432
It's kind of bleeding.
151
00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:51,558
Maybe not.
152
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:54,644
[gasps] when did your hands
get so big?
153
00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:56,271
They're bigger than mine.
154
00:05:56,273 --> 00:05:58,774
I dunno. Maybe I got
freaky-big hands.
155
00:05:58,776 --> 00:06:00,400
Tweeze, please.
156
00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:06,615
I guess it's been a while
since we held hands.
157
00:06:06,617 --> 00:06:07,991
Ew. Did you get it?
158
00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:09,993
-Hmm.
-Thanks.
159
00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:12,496
So that's why
you're having nightmares.
160
00:06:12,498 --> 00:06:15,457
Bart is super rude
and full of splinters.
161
00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:19,836
Maybe. Or maybe I'm just
sick off hubcap hotdogs.
162
00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:22,130
Why would awake-me eat those?
163
00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:24,383
That doesn't seem like awake-me.
164
00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:27,511
After enough booze slushies,
you think you can do anything.
165
00:06:27,513 --> 00:06:30,055
I challenged the valet
to an arm wrestle,
166
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:33,100
But he turned out
to be just a sign.
167
00:06:33,102 --> 00:06:35,394
Why was I drinking frozen wine
168
00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:37,771
In a casual dining
chain restaurant
169
00:06:37,773 --> 00:06:39,064
On a school night?
170
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:41,191
I dunno. After our meeting
with bart's teacher,
171
00:06:41,193 --> 00:06:42,776
You said you needed a drink.
172
00:06:42,778 --> 00:06:44,027
Hmm.
173
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,405
Hmm...
174
00:06:47,783 --> 00:06:48,782
Whoa!
175
00:06:48,784 --> 00:06:50,367
Look, whatever bart did,
176
00:06:50,369 --> 00:06:52,953
We'll pay to have it
cleaned or replaced
177
00:06:52,955 --> 00:06:54,913
Or for its therapy or--
178
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,248
Bart hasn't done anything.
179
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:57,624
I'm meeting with
all the parents.
180
00:06:57,626 --> 00:06:59,334
Even the normal kids. Oh!
181
00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:00,627
Bart is normal.
182
00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:03,755
I-I mean, we don't say normal
anymore, I mean--
183
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,215
I-I'm talking
to all the parents.
184
00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:07,884
You're not special.
I-I mean, you are, but--
185
00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:09,302
What did you want to talk about?
186
00:07:09,304 --> 00:07:11,513
As you know, bounce-a-thon means
187
00:07:11,515 --> 00:07:14,015
We're getting close
to the end of the year.
188
00:07:14,017 --> 00:07:16,017
So it's a good time
to talk about
189
00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:17,936
The transition to fifth grade.
190
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:20,230
You know, last year
of elementary school
191
00:07:20,232 --> 00:07:21,773
And then it's on
to middle school and then--
192
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,192
-Middle school?
-[rumbling]
193
00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:26,319
Then everything changes:
194
00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:30,365
Girls, acne, drugs, body odor.
195
00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:32,325
Listen, I've taught fifth grade.
196
00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:34,327
Please buy your
fifth-grader deodorant.
197
00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:38,373
Like, real deodorant,
not the "natural" stuff.
198
00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:41,293
They may look like children,
but they smell...
199
00:07:41,295 --> 00:07:44,629
Like nervous cab-drivers.
200
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:47,132
The point is: Don't freak out.
201
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:49,468
Okay. About what?
202
00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:51,052
Well, some parents
start thinking,
203
00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:54,473
"oh no. This is the end
of my kid's childhood."
204
00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:57,684
But fifth grade isn't the end
of bart's childhood, right?
205
00:07:57,686 --> 00:08:00,937
I mean, technically,
it is the last year of it.
206
00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:02,230
-[chuckles]
-[gasps]
207
00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:04,524
[wheezing, gasping]
208
00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:06,902
Did you find out
what happened to bart?
209
00:08:06,904 --> 00:08:09,154
It's what's going to happen.
210
00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:11,239
He's going to grow up.
211
00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:12,282
Mm.
212
00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:14,534
Damn kid.
213
00:08:18,582 --> 00:08:20,707
It was such a strange dream.
214
00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:22,000
Bart was four
215
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,085
And he was so adorable.
216
00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:25,879
I'd almost forgotten
there was a time
217
00:08:25,881 --> 00:08:27,672
When bart was the sweet one,
218
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:29,799
And lisa was the difficult one.
219
00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:31,218
[lisa]
uh, to be fair...
220
00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:32,636
I'm only 18 months old,
221
00:08:32,638 --> 00:08:35,222
So to be going through
my terrible twos now
222
00:08:35,224 --> 00:08:37,516
Is actually pretty advanced.
223
00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:40,185
Crap, I'm still dreaming!
224
00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:43,146
[gasps] bounce-a-thon!
225
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,274
I'm coming, too!
226
00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:47,692
-[lisa] yay!
-[bart] aren't you sick?
227
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:48,902
I thought I heard you barfing.
228
00:08:48,904 --> 00:08:51,071
No, that wasn't barfing.
229
00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:55,325
That was... Loud,
sloshy burps-- [gags]
230
00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:56,159
[both]
ugh.
231
00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:57,577
I signed up for snack,
232
00:08:57,579 --> 00:08:59,579
So I have to make
marshmallow trea--
233
00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:01,706
[gags] I can do this.
234
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:03,792
Just have to melt
some margari-- [gags]
235
00:09:03,794 --> 00:09:06,294
Don't worry.
Super-dad is already
236
00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:08,046
Making the marshmallow treats.
237
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:11,424
Which krispies did you use?
Rice or cocoa?
238
00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:15,220
I'm making my own. The rice
is krispying as we speak.
239
00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:16,221
[pops]
240
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,848
[gags] oh, it smells
like you've burnt it!
241
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:22,394
No problem, I'll moisten it
with the last of the eggnog.
242
00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:25,146
[gags]
243
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:29,067
I'm throwing up stuff
I ate years ago.
244
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:31,194
I think I saw wedding cake.
245
00:09:31,196 --> 00:09:33,196
You really should stay home.
246
00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:35,574
Oh, maybe you're right. [groans]
247
00:09:35,576 --> 00:09:38,952
This will be the first
bounce-a-thon I've ever missed.
248
00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:40,996
Oh, missing stuff
is the greatest.
249
00:09:40,998 --> 00:09:42,372
When I do stuff,
250
00:09:42,374 --> 00:09:44,791
I have a fear of missing out
on missing out.
251
00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:46,710
You know:
Fo-moo-mo.
252
00:09:46,712 --> 00:09:49,296
Homer, listen, you have
to do this for me.
253
00:09:49,298 --> 00:09:51,298
Take a picture of each kid
254
00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:53,967
Giving a thumbs-up
at the finish line.
255
00:09:53,969 --> 00:09:55,552
It's for my scrapbook.
256
00:09:55,554 --> 00:09:58,513
I've already made windows
for each school year.
257
00:09:58,515 --> 00:10:02,559
[groans] bart,
thumbs-up slowly past daddy.
258
00:10:02,561 --> 00:10:03,810
Give him time to focus.
259
00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:08,064
Mom, there's no easy way
to tell you this,
260
00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:09,774
So I'm just gonna say it.
261
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:12,777
At school, I'm becoming known
for taking cutting-edge,
262
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,654
No-holds-barred comedy photos.
263
00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:15,947
It's true.
264
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:18,325
I've heard fifth graders say so.
265
00:10:18,327 --> 00:10:20,660
So, w-what are you saying?
266
00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:23,830
There's no way I can do
a thumbs-up at bounce-a-thon.
267
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:25,999
-What?
-It will ruin the brand
268
00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:28,126
I've been building
since picture day.
269
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,795
My fans expect me to top
inside-out eyelids
270
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,255
And scotch tape nose.
271
00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:34,132
You don't understand
the pressure I'm under.
272
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:36,426
But this is for
the bounce-a-thon album.
273
00:10:36,428 --> 00:10:39,220
So you'll always
remember bounce-a-thon.
274
00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:42,265
But I don't even
like bounce-a-thon.
275
00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:45,644
I'm making fun of bounce-a-thon.
276
00:10:45,646 --> 00:10:46,853
What?
277
00:10:46,855 --> 00:10:49,439
None of us kids
like bounce-a-thon.
278
00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:51,066
It's not very cool.
279
00:10:51,068 --> 00:10:54,569
Well, you thought
it was cool last year.
280
00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:58,406
Bart, just one thumbs-up,
please?
281
00:10:58,408 --> 00:10:59,532
[groans]
282
00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:01,326
I'm sorry, but no.
283
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:03,662
Crazy pictures is my thing now.
284
00:11:03,664 --> 00:11:07,248
You should respect that this
is just how I am this year.
285
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:11,169
Bart, you sound so mature
and grown up.
286
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,880
[crying]
I hate that.
287
00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:15,840
[sobs]
288
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:18,051
[snores]
289
00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:21,763
[loud growling]
290
00:11:21,765 --> 00:11:22,889
Run!
291
00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:24,432
-Something's coming!
-[gasps]
292
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:27,268
[panting]
293
00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:29,771
This is silly.
I don't need symbolism.
294
00:11:29,773 --> 00:11:31,314
I know what I'm afraid of.
295
00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:33,900
And it's not a bear. Sorry.
296
00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:36,194
[grumbling]
297
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:39,114
[sighs] it's not a nightmare.
298
00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:40,448
It's reality.
299
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:41,950
Bart's growing up.
300
00:11:41,952 --> 00:11:43,993
I should've treasured every time
301
00:11:43,995 --> 00:11:46,246
He held my hand because...
302
00:11:46,248 --> 00:11:48,790
I don't remember
when he stopped.
303
00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:52,127
The poet kahlil gibran
once said:
304
00:11:53,672 --> 00:11:55,505
Parents are bows...
305
00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:57,757
Like bow-and-arrow bows?
306
00:11:57,759 --> 00:12:02,804
...From which children are
shot forth as an arrow-thingy.
307
00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:05,181
The bow doesn't feel sad
when it sees
308
00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:07,767
How far and true
the arrow flies.
309
00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:10,770
Well, the bow feels
a little sad.
310
00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:12,731
The bow doesn't
want to lose touch
311
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:16,526
And the arrow has never been
great about answering texts.
312
00:12:16,528 --> 00:12:17,819
[snaps]
313
00:12:17,821 --> 00:12:19,446
But even after bart grows up,
314
00:12:19,448 --> 00:12:21,364
You'll still have lisa
and maggie...
315
00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:24,784
Oh, my god. Lisa and maggie!
316
00:12:24,786 --> 00:12:27,287
It's going to happen
with all of them!
317
00:12:27,289 --> 00:12:28,371
Oops.
318
00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:30,081
[rumbling]
319
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,958
Bart is just the beginning.
320
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,334
[rumbling]
321
00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:36,838
One by one...
322
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:38,631
[rumbling]
323
00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:39,632
...All my babies
324
00:12:39,634 --> 00:12:40,967
Will leave the nest.
325
00:12:40,969 --> 00:12:42,260
[rumbling]
326
00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:45,722
I'm going to lose all of them.
327
00:12:45,724 --> 00:12:47,599
♪
328
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:58,526
Honey, we mustn't break
awake-you's brain.
329
00:12:58,528 --> 00:13:00,779
Remember those commercials
where they show you
330
00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:02,363
What depression is like?
331
00:13:02,365 --> 00:13:04,949
A raincloud
follows you everywhere,
332
00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:06,868
You get sucked into sofas,
333
00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:08,328
And when it gets really bad,
334
00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:10,997
Your wind-up monkey
stops clapping.
335
00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:12,874
[gasps] look!
336
00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:14,793
Look, bart's at a playground!
337
00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:16,377
Bart! Bart!
They have your favorite
338
00:13:16,379 --> 00:13:18,338
Back-and-forth riding-thingy!
339
00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:21,424
The duck, bart! Ride the duck!
340
00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:22,717
Bart!
341
00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:23,885
[clicks]
342
00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:27,180
No!
343
00:13:29,684 --> 00:13:33,144
Okay, maybe I am being
a teensy bit negative.
344
00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:39,651
[homer sniffing] okay.
345
00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:41,444
A little brain-hurricane.
346
00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:45,573
My time as a mom will
eventually come to an end.
347
00:13:45,575 --> 00:13:49,619
I'll have to fill my days
with a bunch of stupid hobbies.
348
00:13:49,621 --> 00:13:52,664
I don't want an etsy storefront!
349
00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:54,415
It's not happening now.
350
00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:57,001
So it's silly
to be sad about it now.
351
00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:59,629
It's like going to work on time.
352
00:13:59,631 --> 00:14:01,798
There's no point.
353
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,591
I want to show you something.
354
00:14:08,932 --> 00:14:10,181
Whoa!
355
00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:13,017
I'm coming, too.
356
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,269
-[lisa] yay!
-[bart] aren't you sick?
357
00:14:14,271 --> 00:14:15,895
I thought I heard you barfing.
358
00:14:15,897 --> 00:14:17,188
Freeze it right there.
359
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:21,526
Now, watch it again
but this time look over...
360
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:22,193
Here.
361
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,571
[dialogue rewinding]
362
00:14:24,573 --> 00:14:25,822
I'm coming, too.
363
00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:26,781
-Yay!
-[bart] aren't you sick?
364
00:14:27,284 --> 00:14:28,491
-♪ mommy's coming ♪
-I thought I heard you barfing.
365
00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:29,450
♪ yes, she is ♪
366
00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:31,077
♪ do, do-do, do, do, my mom. ♪
367
00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:32,954
[grunts] ha!
368
00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:35,832
She's rehearsing her thumbs-up.
369
00:14:35,834 --> 00:14:36,958
Oh.
370
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,293
Oh, I was so sad
371
00:14:38,295 --> 00:14:40,211
That bart had outgrown
the bounce-a-thon,
372
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:43,840
I couldn't see that
my sweet lisa still loves it.
373
00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:45,008
For now.
374
00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:47,260
Next year, she'll probably
turn on it, too.
375
00:14:47,262 --> 00:14:48,511
Ma'am, I'm gonna
have to ask you
376
00:14:48,513 --> 00:14:50,722
To get out of
the dark place, please.
377
00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:51,514
You're right.
378
00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:54,684
Bounce-a-thon
still means a lot to lisa.
379
00:14:54,686 --> 00:14:58,187
So, what are you--
like, my feelings police?
380
00:14:58,189 --> 00:15:01,107
No, I'm pretty sure I'm here
because, deep down,
381
00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:02,483
You're attracted to me.
382
00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:05,153
The uniform,
the low center of gravity,
383
00:15:05,155 --> 00:15:07,697
My thick, syrupy voice.
[chuckles]
384
00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:09,324
I don't think so.
385
00:15:09,326 --> 00:15:10,992
If anything, I'm into eddie.
386
00:15:10,994 --> 00:15:13,620
Yeah, he's a beautiful man.
387
00:15:13,622 --> 00:15:18,041
I love that lisa was so happy
I was gonna be there.
388
00:15:18,043 --> 00:15:19,959
I should be there for her.
389
00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:22,128
I've got to get
to the bounce-a-thon
390
00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:24,589
Before lisa's childhood
slips away.
391
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:26,674
How can I wake myself up?
392
00:15:26,676 --> 00:15:28,551
Oh. Well, this'll do it.
393
00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:32,722
[gasps]
394
00:15:33,642 --> 00:15:36,559
Okay, looking good,
feeling good.
395
00:15:36,561 --> 00:15:38,019
[gags]
396
00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:38,728
[retches]
397
00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:40,021
[pants]
398
00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:42,315
Even better now.
399
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:45,777
I'll be there, lisa,
I won't miss it.
400
00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:47,654
[voice over radio]
or a pickle and egg sandwich
401
00:15:47,656 --> 00:15:50,615
From joey mayonnaise's
sandwich creamery!
402
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:54,452
Where the hospitality is
as warm as the mayonnai--
403
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:55,995
[grunting]
404
00:15:58,208 --> 00:16:00,833
Okay, I ruined the car.
405
00:16:00,835 --> 00:16:03,628
But mommy's
s-still coming, lisa.
406
00:16:05,006 --> 00:16:07,090
Okay, here we go.
407
00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:11,636
Oh, I got to sign up.
Okay. Username?
408
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,638
Uh, bounce-mom.
409
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,515
Taken. Fine.
410
00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:17,392
Uh, barf-mom.
411
00:16:17,394 --> 00:16:18,935
Taken? Really?
412
00:16:18,937 --> 00:16:21,020
Borf-mom.
413
00:16:21,022 --> 00:16:23,272
What? Oh, come on.
414
00:16:23,274 --> 00:16:24,857
Marge.
415
00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:26,693
Oh, that worked.
416
00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:33,992
[retches]
417
00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:37,495
[retches]
418
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,541
Ah! [gasps]
419
00:16:41,543 --> 00:16:43,167
I'm here, lisa.
420
00:16:44,462 --> 00:16:48,381
I promised to wear this, uh,
humorous wig for bounce-a-thon
421
00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:50,800
If we had 30 lice-free days
and, uh, well,
422
00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:53,594
We had 29, but I'm just
going to assume that today
423
00:16:53,596 --> 00:16:54,887
Is going to go well.
424
00:16:54,889 --> 00:16:57,015
And on the bounce track
right now,
425
00:16:57,017 --> 00:16:58,933
The second grade.
426
00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:01,185
[gasps] that's lisa's class.
427
00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:05,898
Excuse me, excuse me.
Let me through.
428
00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:08,026
I'm here to support my child.
429
00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:10,403
Yeah, well, guess what,
princess blue,
430
00:17:10,405 --> 00:17:13,197
We're all here
to support our kids.
431
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:16,117
So stick that in your g-string
and make change.
432
00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:19,078
I'm sorry, I'm very, very sick
and I just--
433
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,330
Sick? W-what kind of sick?
434
00:17:21,332 --> 00:17:23,958
I don't know. Some kind of, um,
435
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,711
I don't know, pox or plague.
436
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,379
[anxious murmuring]
437
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:29,589
[marge chuckles]
438
00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:32,800
[sniffs]
439
00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:34,927
Oh, no. Food smells.
440
00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:36,763
It's okay,
I'll just hold my breath.
441
00:17:36,765 --> 00:17:38,181
[inhales]
442
00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:48,107
Must... Get... Picture.
443
00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:55,740
[peyton]
mrs. Simpson?
444
00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:59,285
D-did I get the picture?
445
00:18:02,499 --> 00:18:05,333
I took a photo
after I passed out?
446
00:18:05,335 --> 00:18:09,337
Yeah, we had to pry the phone
from your hand.
447
00:18:09,339 --> 00:18:11,631
I've been kind of a wreck
since our meeting.
448
00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:15,051
You know, when you said
bart's childhood is over?
449
00:18:15,053 --> 00:18:18,888
[gasps] I did not say that.
I would never say that.
450
00:18:18,890 --> 00:18:21,349
Bart's childhood isn't over.
451
00:18:21,351 --> 00:18:24,060
I did notice
that you got very quiet
452
00:18:24,062 --> 00:18:26,270
After I mentioned middle school.
453
00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:28,272
You didn't say anything else.
454
00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:31,651
Except to ask about happy hour
at Tuesday o'fridayhan's.
455
00:18:31,653 --> 00:18:34,695
Wait, you didn't say
he was heading toward
456
00:18:34,697 --> 00:18:36,948
Girls and drugs and acne?
457
00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:39,659
No, of course not.
458
00:18:39,661 --> 00:18:41,494
Oh, my gosh, that was a dream.
459
00:18:41,496 --> 00:18:44,914
I should have noticed
that you were 17 feet tall.
460
00:18:44,916 --> 00:18:48,209
I ate bad things last night.
461
00:18:48,211 --> 00:18:51,295
You didn't say we had to
buy bart deodorant next year.
462
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:52,797
Oh, no, no, no, I did say that.
463
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:54,882
That part is very important.
464
00:18:54,884 --> 00:18:57,301
Strong deodorant.
465
00:18:57,303 --> 00:19:00,930
Hey, bart's got
a lot of childhood left.
466
00:19:00,932 --> 00:19:03,850
I mean, he scores
in the 50th percentile
467
00:19:03,852 --> 00:19:05,059
For knowing his right and left,
468
00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:07,145
Which is, oh, not a test score
469
00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:09,522
I should have said out loud
at a school function.
470
00:19:09,524 --> 00:19:10,898
[sighs]
471
00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:12,692
Are you going to be okay?
472
00:19:12,694 --> 00:19:15,361
Yes. I'm just going to lie here
473
00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:18,781
Until the school
stops spinning...
474
00:19:18,783 --> 00:19:20,658
[snores]
475
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:21,701
Ah.
476
00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:22,994
Feeling better?
477
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:24,662
Mm-hmm.
478
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:25,997
I missed the picture,
479
00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:29,167
But lisa was so happy
to see me today.
480
00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:31,419
So, for now, I'm happy.
481
00:19:31,421 --> 00:19:33,296
And who knows
what the future holds?
482
00:19:33,298 --> 00:19:35,298
Bart could knock up
his high school girlfriend.
483
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:36,507
You could have grandchildren
484
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,759
Before maggie
starts kindergarten.
485
00:19:38,761 --> 00:19:41,137
Wouldn't that be nice?
486
00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:46,225
[sighs] time to wake up.
487
00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:47,351
[pops]
488
00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:50,354
[gasps] oh.
489
00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:52,356
[cheering]
490
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:53,649
Here he comes.
491
00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:57,653
Mm. My funny little guy.
492
00:19:59,741 --> 00:20:01,657
[clicks]
493
00:20:01,659 --> 00:20:02,909
[gasping]
494
00:20:02,911 --> 00:20:04,452
Oh...
495
00:20:04,454 --> 00:20:06,913
[laughs] that's...
496
00:20:06,915 --> 00:20:09,415
That's really good.
497
00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:10,499
[laughs]
498
00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:12,627
[panting] did you
get the picture?
499
00:20:12,629 --> 00:20:14,003
Was my crack centered?
500
00:20:14,005 --> 00:20:16,964
Oh, bart, it was perfect.
501
00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:18,424
You liked it?
502
00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:20,384
I loved it.
503
00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:22,553
Thanks. Wanna go
to the dunk tank?
504
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:24,722
The gym teacher I hate
is on the chair.
505
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,557
Sure. [gasps]
506
00:20:28,102 --> 00:20:29,435
[bart chuckles]
507
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:33,147
Let's dunk that sucker.
508
00:20:35,526 --> 00:20:36,692
[marge sniffs]
509
00:20:36,694 --> 00:20:37,860
And on the way home,
510
00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:39,528
Let's go deodorant shopping.
511
00:20:39,530 --> 00:20:42,073
Captioning sponsored by
20th century fox television
512
00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:44,575
And toyota.
513
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:46,661
Captioned by
media access group at wgbh
access.Wgbh.Org