1 00:00:02,461 --> 00:00:04,461 ♪ 2 00:00:05,798 --> 00:00:08,248 Art lovers of springfield, good news. 3 00:00:08,250 --> 00:00:10,926 The art museum is closed forever! 4 00:00:10,928 --> 00:00:12,469 [scattered applause] 5 00:00:12,471 --> 00:00:15,597 Instead, our entire collection will be digitized 6 00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:18,183 And sold for a fortune on the blockchain 7 00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:22,146 As non-fungible tokens, or nfts. 8 00:00:22,148 --> 00:00:24,857 Whatever the hell those are. 9 00:00:24,859 --> 00:00:25,983 [chuckles] 10 00:00:25,985 --> 00:00:28,527 Now let's turn some of our crappy art 11 00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:29,987 Into computer money. 12 00:00:29,989 --> 00:00:33,657 Starting with a true masterpiece, my butt. 13 00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:36,118 [laughs] 14 00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:39,747 [whirring] 15 00:00:39,749 --> 00:00:40,831 Uh, dad? 16 00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:42,791 Ah! Technology! 17 00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:44,168 [phone chimes] 18 00:00:45,588 --> 00:00:47,713 I've lost bart forever! 19 00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,715 No! 20 00:00:51,469 --> 00:00:52,634 [cash register rings] 21 00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:54,678 Yes! 22 00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,058 [whirring] 23 00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:02,186 Honey? Remember how we're always saying 24 00:01:02,188 --> 00:01:04,104 We wish bart was less fungible? 25 00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:05,939 Did something happen to bart? 26 00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:07,232 Only the parts you can hug. 27 00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:10,152 The rest is alive, right here on my phone. 28 00:01:10,905 --> 00:01:13,739 [yelps] my baby is an app! 29 00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:15,657 Uh, no, apps actually do stuff. 30 00:01:15,659 --> 00:01:16,992 He's an nft. 31 00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:19,078 -But look how much he's worth. -[gasps] 32 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:20,996 For bart? Hmm. 33 00:01:20,998 --> 00:01:23,916 Imagine what we'd get for lisa. 34 00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:27,211 He is the first nft of an actual person. 35 00:01:27,213 --> 00:01:28,295 I don't care. 36 00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:30,506 We've got to find a way to get him back. 37 00:01:30,508 --> 00:01:34,802 [hooded figure] to do that, you, yourself must enter the blockchain. 38 00:01:34,804 --> 00:01:36,011 Who are you? 39 00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:38,222 We are the enlightened intellects 40 00:01:38,224 --> 00:01:40,390 Who safeguard the crypto-verse. 41 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:43,685 [homer] kylie jenner, rob gronkowski, 42 00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:44,978 And jimmy fallon. 43 00:01:44,980 --> 00:01:47,189 I thought you were just celebrity shills. 44 00:01:47,191 --> 00:01:50,192 Ugh, we would never promote a technology 45 00:01:50,194 --> 00:01:52,361 If we didn't understand the distributed ledger 46 00:01:52,363 --> 00:01:53,445 Underpinning it. 47 00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:54,530 Der! 48 00:01:54,532 --> 00:01:57,533 [laughs] I can't stop laughing, buddy. 49 00:01:57,535 --> 00:01:58,659 [homer] shut up. 50 00:01:58,661 --> 00:02:00,327 You ruined "cowbell." 51 00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:05,541 This key is a back door 52 00:02:05,543 --> 00:02:08,460 Through the blockchain's cryptographic protocol. 53 00:02:10,381 --> 00:02:12,881 Once you're inside, find bart 54 00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:14,925 And use it to get both of you out. 55 00:02:14,927 --> 00:02:16,385 [grunts] 56 00:02:16,387 --> 00:02:18,595 [whirring] 57 00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:24,393 Huh, so this is the blockchain. 58 00:02:24,395 --> 00:02:27,512 No, noob, this is the block-train. 59 00:02:28,732 --> 00:02:31,150 Speeding forever through the loveless icy world 60 00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:32,901 Created by crypto-bros. 61 00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:36,238 Powered by the most abundant fuel in the universe: 62 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:39,575 Fomo, the fear of missing out. 63 00:02:39,577 --> 00:02:43,579 For a digital incarnation of an abstract mathematical concept, 64 00:02:43,581 --> 00:02:45,497 It could use a good dusting. 65 00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:48,667 [british accent] well, that's because this is the last car of the train, innit? 66 00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:52,337 The dwelling place of nfts with no value. 67 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:56,592 Which is 99% of all nfts ever created. 68 00:02:56,594 --> 00:02:59,845 Huh, I guess being the second-ever human nft 69 00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:01,263 Isn't worth a whole lot. 70 00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:03,140 Where do they keep my son? 71 00:03:03,142 --> 00:03:05,559 [french accent] at the very front of the train 72 00:03:05,561 --> 00:03:07,060 Where you can never go. 73 00:03:07,062 --> 00:03:08,353 Watch me! 74 00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:10,397 [grunts] 75 00:03:10,399 --> 00:03:13,192 [laughter] 76 00:03:13,194 --> 00:03:14,484 Whoa! 77 00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:21,325 [retching] you killed ennui oeuf 116. 78 00:03:23,621 --> 00:03:24,661 [whirring] 79 00:03:26,165 --> 00:03:29,082 Congratulations, you've moved up the train 80 00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:31,460 Because you are now as valuable as us, 81 00:03:31,462 --> 00:03:32,711 The cuddle kittens. 82 00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:34,796 Because you killed another nft. 83 00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:36,757 What you call mindless slaughter, 84 00:03:36,759 --> 00:03:38,759 Crypto-bros call "disruption," 85 00:03:38,761 --> 00:03:40,427 And then pour cash into it. 86 00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:42,137 So, to rescue bart, 87 00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:44,306 I need to kill a bunch of you guys. 88 00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,393 [popping] 89 00:03:50,439 --> 00:03:51,730 Ooh. 90 00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:53,774 Well, I guess I got to do this. 91 00:03:53,776 --> 00:03:55,359 [yowling] 92 00:03:56,028 --> 00:03:59,196 Sorry! Nothing personal! 93 00:04:01,617 --> 00:04:06,078 Hope... You... Can't... Feel... Pain. [grunts] 94 00:04:07,498 --> 00:04:08,747 [whirring] 95 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:30,477 [whirring] 96 00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:34,064 [lisa] mom's price is skyrocketing! 97 00:04:34,066 --> 00:04:35,774 Look at the fomo! 98 00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:39,194 Now everyone's gonna want human nfts. 99 00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:42,197 Dad, you said you were taking me to bumper boats. 100 00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:45,242 I am. Uh, have some more chocolate milk. 101 00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:50,622 No one is putting another child into that scanner... 102 00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:52,541 Before mine. 103 00:04:53,544 --> 00:04:55,460 -[grunting] -hey! 104 00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:56,670 [whirring] 105 00:04:58,299 --> 00:04:59,131 [gasps] 106 00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:01,675 Please kill ralph-house. 107 00:05:02,678 --> 00:05:04,011 [squishing] 108 00:05:04,763 --> 00:05:07,014 [whirring] 109 00:05:08,851 --> 00:05:12,394 The front of the train. I made it. 110 00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:15,939 Bart! We're getting out of here! 111 00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:18,066 Whoa, mom, what's the rush? 112 00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:20,736 Grab yourself a jaded ape and take a load off. 113 00:05:20,738 --> 00:05:23,530 You never like my friends. 114 00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:25,615 Mom's almost got bart out. 115 00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:28,535 Don't let your son become a worthless human again. 116 00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:30,078 Sell him to me 117 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,539 -For $100 million. -Hmm! 118 00:05:32,541 --> 00:05:35,334 No, dad! If you sell bart to mr. Burns, 119 00:05:35,336 --> 00:05:38,211 He'll be trapped on the blockchain forever. 120 00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:40,380 But this is my chance not to miss out, 121 00:05:40,382 --> 00:05:42,299 After I've missed out on everything. 122 00:05:42,301 --> 00:05:44,593 The housing bubble, the first tech bubble, 123 00:05:44,595 --> 00:05:47,262 The second tech bubble, the current tech bubble. 124 00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:49,514 Just one time, I want to be the guy 125 00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:52,059 That gives all his money to bernie madoff! 126 00:05:52,061 --> 00:05:55,187 Mom, get out of there! Dad's gonna crack! 127 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,326 He did it. 128 00:06:09,328 --> 00:06:10,994 I can't believe he did it. 129 00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:13,413 [whirring] 130 00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:15,582 -We made it. -Where's homer? 131 00:06:15,584 --> 00:06:17,834 I want to tell him the inside of his phone smells. 132 00:06:17,836 --> 00:06:19,961 He-he sold himself. 133 00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:21,963 He was so afraid of missing out, 134 00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:24,424 He tokened his own life. 135 00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:26,760 Woo-hoo! 136 00:06:26,762 --> 00:06:29,721 Eternity on a super swanky train. 137 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:32,474 Ooh, twerked chicken. 138 00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:37,062 [rumbling] 139 00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,897 What happened? 140 00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:41,733 Our fomo, it's gone. 141 00:06:43,946 --> 00:06:46,571 The nft craze is over. 142 00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:49,032 D'oh! 143 00:06:53,288 --> 00:06:56,164 [homer] ah, the romance of train travel. 144 00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:03,171 ♪ 145 00:07:03,173 --> 00:07:07,634 ♪ and it's clearly to his credit ♪ 146 00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:12,597 ♪ that he is an englishman ♪ 147 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,891 ♪ he remains ♪ 148 00:07:14,893 --> 00:07:19,020 ♪ an eng ♪ 149 00:07:19,022 --> 00:07:21,440 ♪ lish... ♪ 150 00:07:21,442 --> 00:07:23,942 Wait. Did you only ask me to sing 151 00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:26,769 To forestall your gruesome end? 152 00:07:26,771 --> 00:07:30,073 Guilty as charged. [laughs] 153 00:07:30,909 --> 00:07:33,410 -[bart grunting] -[laughing] 154 00:07:33,412 --> 00:07:35,454 [screams] 155 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,331 Ha! 156 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:44,129 It was only by following my hunch 157 00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:46,298 That we found the east side strangler 158 00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:48,508 On the west side of town. 159 00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:51,303 Can you explain how you overcame childhood trauma 160 00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:54,264 To become the nation's most renowned criminal psychologist? 161 00:07:54,266 --> 00:07:57,142 For that story, you'll have to read my book. 162 00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,603 -[school bell rings] -[indistinct chatter] 163 00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:03,023 Office muntz. 164 00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:04,900 Told you I'd smell you later. 165 00:08:04,902 --> 00:08:06,526 Been a long time. 166 00:08:07,488 --> 00:08:08,737 Ah, look at us. 167 00:08:08,739 --> 00:08:11,406 We thought we were gonna stay young forever. 168 00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:13,074 Some of us did. 169 00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:16,203 Oh, right, like bart, because he got murdered. 170 00:08:16,205 --> 00:08:17,871 Speaking of gruesome junk, 171 00:08:17,873 --> 00:08:19,831 We could use your help on a case. 172 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:23,627 I'm flattered, but I'm the dean of the true crime department. 173 00:08:23,629 --> 00:08:25,921 I can't just run off and-- 174 00:08:25,923 --> 00:08:27,923 The killer left a message. 175 00:08:27,925 --> 00:08:30,592 And we think it's for you. 176 00:08:30,594 --> 00:08:32,636 ♪ 177 00:08:43,357 --> 00:08:45,815 Maybe rod flanders did grow up to become 178 00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:48,568 A shockingly foul-mouthed prop comedian, 179 00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:50,529 But he didn't deserve this. 180 00:08:50,531 --> 00:08:53,073 Only a super-traumatized profiler like you 181 00:08:53,075 --> 00:08:55,283 Can piece together what happened here. 182 00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:56,243 Hmm. 183 00:08:56,245 --> 00:08:57,953 [breathes deeply, sighs] 184 00:08:57,955 --> 00:08:59,621 [lisa] our killer took his time. 185 00:08:59,623 --> 00:09:01,122 Had fun with it. 186 00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:02,958 Enjoyed a game of solitaire. 187 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:05,293 Red king on a red queen? 188 00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:07,921 This psycho doesn't play by the rules. 189 00:09:07,923 --> 00:09:09,464 Damn, she's good. 190 00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:11,383 Here, he had one of those moments 191 00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:14,970 Where you walk into a room and forget what you came in for. 192 00:09:14,972 --> 00:09:17,380 How did my guys miss that? 193 00:09:17,382 --> 00:09:18,306 One more thing. 194 00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:20,258 This killer won't stop now. 195 00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:21,977 There will be others. 196 00:09:21,979 --> 00:09:23,687 Sarge, there's been another. 197 00:09:27,818 --> 00:09:30,110 How can he also be the first? 198 00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:31,736 Sarge, we got another one. 199 00:09:32,864 --> 00:09:34,239 [whistles] 200 00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:35,782 Boy, that's something you don't see every-- 201 00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:37,367 One more, sarge. 202 00:09:38,287 --> 00:09:40,120 Got another one, sarge. 203 00:09:40,122 --> 00:09:41,830 The severed hand opens the fridge, 204 00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:43,707 Which tugs on that strip of sinew, 205 00:09:43,709 --> 00:09:44,958 Turning over the eyeball cup, 206 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:47,294 Which rolls down the spine, startles a cat, 207 00:09:47,296 --> 00:09:49,462 Which leaps onto the butter dish seesaw, 208 00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:51,673 And sends the other eyeball flying, 209 00:09:51,675 --> 00:09:53,508 Turning on the coffee maker. 210 00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:56,845 Even I can't get inside a mind this deranged. 211 00:09:56,847 --> 00:09:59,973 There's only one person who can. 212 00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:02,809 [thunder rumbles] 213 00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:04,352 Little lisa simpson. 214 00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:06,021 You really made something of yourself 215 00:10:06,023 --> 00:10:08,148 After I made mincemeat of your brother. 216 00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:09,566 Come to thank me? 217 00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:11,526 -No. -Rude. 218 00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:13,528 I don't have time for your games, bob. 219 00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:14,571 I'm working on a-- 220 00:10:14,573 --> 00:10:15,655 Yes, a case so confounding 221 00:10:15,657 --> 00:10:17,532 You're actually willing to seek my help. 222 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:20,827 The rube goldberg sherri is actually quite impressive. 223 00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:22,120 Hat tip, psychopath. 224 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,205 What about the identical messages? 225 00:10:24,207 --> 00:10:26,991 How can they all be "the first"? 226 00:10:26,993 --> 00:10:28,460 Really, professor simpson, 227 00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:31,129 Am I meant to spoon-feed you all the answers? 228 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,965 Speak in riddles or drop a clue in a clever anagram 229 00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,801 Hidden in something I've just said right now. 230 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:38,261 This is a waste of time. 231 00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:40,055 Perhaps a limerick will help. 232 00:10:40,057 --> 00:10:41,973 There once was a shiny machete, 233 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:44,225 That turned poor bart's head to spaghetti. 234 00:10:44,227 --> 00:10:46,728 You're gonna die in that cell, bob. 235 00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:48,563 And when that happens, 236 00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:50,023 Wherever I am, 237 00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:52,025 I'll be dancing. 238 00:10:58,617 --> 00:11:02,160 Can you think of anyone who would've wanted to hurt sherri? 239 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:05,038 No, everybody loved my big sister. 240 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:06,498 Big sister? 241 00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:07,832 You guys were twins. 242 00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:10,418 Yes, but sherri was born first. 243 00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:14,756 Probably makes sense for you to be my husband now, huh? 244 00:11:14,758 --> 00:11:16,216 Sherri is the first. 245 00:11:16,218 --> 00:11:19,552 Rod flanders, dermott spuckler, all firstborns, 246 00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:21,054 That's the pattern. 247 00:11:21,056 --> 00:11:22,847 And bob said something about an anagram 248 00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,683 Taking us to the killer's lair. 249 00:11:25,686 --> 00:11:27,560 [gasps] that's it. 250 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:31,523 [tires screech] 251 00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:37,487 [both gasp] 252 00:11:38,657 --> 00:11:39,656 [clanging] 253 00:11:39,658 --> 00:11:40,699 Stay here. 254 00:11:41,702 --> 00:11:44,160 [creaking] 255 00:11:44,996 --> 00:11:47,372 Hey, meat hooks, hook meat much? 256 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,082 Ha-ha-- 257 00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:53,837 Nelson? 258 00:11:53,839 --> 00:11:56,131 Nelson, where are you? 259 00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,260 [screams] 260 00:12:01,304 --> 00:12:02,554 [panting] 261 00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:05,682 [gasps] 262 00:12:05,684 --> 00:12:09,060 The killer's lair looks just like my old bedroom. 263 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,146 But how? Ooh. 264 00:12:11,148 --> 00:12:13,481 Maybe the killer's on the security footage. 265 00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:18,820 No! It can't be! 266 00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:21,114 [grunts] freeze! 267 00:12:21,116 --> 00:12:22,240 -[handcuffs click] -wha...? 268 00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:23,825 I can't be the killer! 269 00:12:23,827 --> 00:12:26,369 I turned my trauma into healing! 270 00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:27,996 Oprah said so! 271 00:12:27,998 --> 00:12:29,664 [thunder rumbling] 272 00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:32,041 I'm sorry for the imbroglio, but if the chef de cuisine 273 00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:34,711 Insists on calling it taco tuesdays, 274 00:12:34,713 --> 00:12:36,713 He can't very well serve flautas 275 00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:38,715 And expect us not to make a fuss. 276 00:12:38,717 --> 00:12:40,216 [door locks] 277 00:12:41,511 --> 00:12:43,094 Hello, bob. 278 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,472 H-how did you get in here? 279 00:12:45,474 --> 00:12:47,807 Well, I knew if I killed enough people 280 00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:50,059 In the most gruesome possible ways, 281 00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:52,228 They'd send me to your prison. 282 00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:54,189 But to get into your cell? 283 00:12:54,191 --> 00:12:56,232 I had a little help. 284 00:12:59,863 --> 00:13:01,404 Lisa the killer. 285 00:13:01,406 --> 00:13:03,281 I never thought you had it in you. 286 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:06,242 The lisa you knew didn't. 287 00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:08,536 But I'm another story. 288 00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:10,038 Oh, really? 289 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,915 Split personalities? 290 00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:13,249 Trope alert! 291 00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:15,710 Call the first thought police. 292 00:13:15,712 --> 00:13:17,796 Professor lisa had no idea 293 00:13:17,798 --> 00:13:19,631 She was my accomplice. 294 00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:24,803 But she's gone now. 295 00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:26,596 She was my last victim. 296 00:13:26,598 --> 00:13:29,599 Or, rather, second to last. 297 00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:31,726 The penultimate. 298 00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:33,436 [grumbles] 299 00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:38,983 ♪ he remains an ♪ 300 00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:42,111 ♪ en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en ♪ 301 00:13:42,113 --> 00:13:44,072 ♪ en... ♪ 302 00:13:44,074 --> 00:13:47,659 -[screaming] -♪ ...Glishman. ♪ 303 00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:54,457 [munching] 304 00:13:54,459 --> 00:13:55,792 Simpson. 305 00:13:55,794 --> 00:13:57,710 No eating in the turbine room. 306 00:13:57,712 --> 00:13:59,087 Since when? 307 00:14:01,258 --> 00:14:04,008 Pfft. The nanny state wins again. 308 00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:06,094 No tanning in the reactor core, 309 00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:08,346 No texting while driving and eating ribs. 310 00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,890 Can't even trim your hedges with a machine gun. 311 00:14:10,892 --> 00:14:12,559 When did everyone get so scared? 312 00:14:12,561 --> 00:14:16,437 The world would be fine if people just used common sense. 313 00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:17,605 Like me. 314 00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:19,065 Ah! Jailbreak! 315 00:14:31,997 --> 00:14:34,706 Woman. Woman. 316 00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:41,963 Homer, one. Nanny state, zero. 317 00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:43,464 [munching] 318 00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:47,051 [groaning] 319 00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:48,761 [gurgling] 320 00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:51,264 Stupid radioactive garbage donut 321 00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:54,225 Mutating my dna while I sleep. 322 00:14:56,396 --> 00:15:00,273 Hey, who stole my flanders's newspaper? 323 00:15:00,275 --> 00:15:01,524 Sorry about that, homer-ino, 324 00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:04,611 But I-I whited out the crossword after I did it, 325 00:15:04,613 --> 00:15:06,029 So you could enjoy it, too. 326 00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:07,906 [gurgling] 327 00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:10,158 -[belches] -ah. 328 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,869 Better from the chimney than the furnace, am I right? 329 00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:14,454 [laughs] 330 00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:15,788 [groans] 331 00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:19,125 So, you see, there's nothing in the bible that says 332 00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:23,463 A pastor and his wife can't take separate vacations. 333 00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:25,048 [grunts softly] 334 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:31,012 Daddy, are you being tickled by the holy spirit? 335 00:15:31,014 --> 00:15:32,972 [gurgling] 336 00:15:32,974 --> 00:15:35,391 [moaning] 337 00:15:39,648 --> 00:15:43,524 [gasps] I've been neighborino'd into home-diddly-omer. 338 00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:47,528 [gasps] and why am I in church when football is on? 339 00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:48,696 [all gasping] 340 00:15:48,698 --> 00:15:49,948 [belches] 341 00:15:49,950 --> 00:15:52,408 [terrified chatter] 342 00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:55,828 [all screaming, belching] 343 00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:57,664 [all groaning, grumbling] 344 00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:00,541 Kiss my ass, church-os. 345 00:16:00,543 --> 00:16:05,171 I'm fat, I'm bald, and I've never felt sexier, baby. 346 00:16:05,173 --> 00:16:08,257 -Why, you little... -[choking] 347 00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:09,801 Woo-hoo! 348 00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:11,970 [all belching] 349 00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:14,931 [belches] 350 00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:19,978 [kent brockman over tv] a mysterious affliction has descended upon springfield. 351 00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:23,064 Citizens of every age, race and catchphrase 352 00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:27,360 Are mysteriously transforming into bald, pear-shaped doofi. 353 00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:32,907 [sing-songy] donut stu has diabetes type 2. 354 00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:34,659 [belches] 355 00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:38,329 News is stupid. 356 00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:39,956 Somebody put on wrestling. 357 00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:41,833 Do all these burping baldos 358 00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:44,002 Remind you of anyone? 359 00:16:44,004 --> 00:16:46,295 I'd know that butt scratch anywhere. 360 00:16:46,297 --> 00:16:48,339 Everyone's turning into dad. 361 00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:53,386 [screams] 362 00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:56,764 [belching] 363 00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:07,775 Uh, children, your father's less than stellar genetic code 364 00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:10,903 Is spreading through burp-borne transmission. 365 00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:12,697 If we're going to cure this virus, 366 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,073 We need his dna. 367 00:17:14,075 --> 00:17:16,951 You three are the only ones impervious to the virus. 368 00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,287 You have got to find him. 369 00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:21,497 Hmm. It is 11:30 in the morning. 370 00:17:22,751 --> 00:17:24,959 [indistinct chatter] 371 00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:26,878 -Beer, moe. -Beer, moe. 372 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,171 A-beer, a-moe. 373 00:17:28,173 --> 00:17:29,589 Have you seen our dad? 374 00:17:29,591 --> 00:17:32,592 No, just these hundreds of silly versions of him, 375 00:17:32,594 --> 00:17:34,969 Which is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. 376 00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:36,679 I mean, I'm printing money over here. 377 00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:37,847 [barking] 378 00:17:37,849 --> 00:17:40,558 Coming right up, santa's little homer. 379 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,811 Real dad wasn't at the bowling alley, the candy store, 380 00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:46,689 Or mocking the hippos at the zoo. 381 00:17:46,691 --> 00:17:47,982 Wait. 382 00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:49,692 Dad ate a bucket of this chicken last night. 383 00:17:49,694 --> 00:17:52,695 When that happens, where does he always spend the next day? 384 00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:56,074 [homer] I'll be out in a minute. 385 00:17:56,076 --> 00:17:57,825 Um, is this really the most 386 00:17:57,827 --> 00:17:59,577 Convenient bathroom for your father? 387 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,829 It's the closest one mom will let him use. 388 00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:04,999 Dad, we need you to save the world. 389 00:18:05,001 --> 00:18:05,833 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 390 00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:07,043 Can you believe some idiot 391 00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:09,962 Left this perfectly good back scratcher in there? 392 00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:12,507 Look, it goes all... 393 00:18:12,509 --> 00:18:14,592 The way... Down. 394 00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:16,427 [moans] 395 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:17,386 What? 396 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:21,474 Now, if you'll just board the frink-ama-copter-- 397 00:18:21,476 --> 00:18:23,684 -We're not calling it that. -[grumbles] 398 00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:26,896 And then we'll pop your dna in to the frink-tabulizer-- 399 00:18:26,898 --> 00:18:28,681 We're not calling it that. 400 00:18:28,683 --> 00:18:31,025 [muttering] 401 00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:33,486 And everything will go back to the way it was. 402 00:18:33,488 --> 00:18:36,030 Wait. Hold on. Why would I want that? 403 00:18:36,032 --> 00:18:37,949 Finally, everyone thinks the way I do. 404 00:18:37,951 --> 00:18:40,993 Nobody's making up stupid rules about bicycle helmets 405 00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:42,495 Or where you can smoke cigars. 406 00:18:42,497 --> 00:18:44,330 -You want to drive without a seatbelt? -[tires screech] 407 00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:45,998 Facetime while jaywalking? 408 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,458 -Enjoy a sugary soda? -[tires screech] 409 00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:50,086 Go ahead! You're not hurting anyone! 410 00:18:50,088 --> 00:18:51,712 It's a utopia. 411 00:18:51,714 --> 00:18:53,464 No, a me-topia! 412 00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:57,218 Yes, well, you don't really want everyone to be like you. 413 00:18:57,220 --> 00:18:59,971 Earth-shattering reveal! 414 00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:01,097 [screaming] 415 00:19:01,099 --> 00:19:02,515 [chuckling à la homer] 416 00:19:02,517 --> 00:19:06,060 When did insurance commercials get so funny? 417 00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:08,354 [gasps] marge! 418 00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:10,356 Cooperating with us is the only way 419 00:19:10,358 --> 00:19:12,942 To get your wife back to normal. 420 00:19:12,944 --> 00:19:16,362 You've never looked more beautiful. 421 00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:18,656 [kissing] 422 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,867 Scooch over, gorgeous. 423 00:19:20,869 --> 00:19:22,243 When we get home, 424 00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:24,537 Let's you and I bump muzzles. 425 00:19:24,539 --> 00:19:28,166 Please. Please! If we don't have some competent people left 426 00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:30,751 To run things, society will collapse! 427 00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:32,295 Coders to run the internet 428 00:19:32,297 --> 00:19:34,589 That feeds you the latest misinformation. 429 00:19:34,591 --> 00:19:37,884 Pilots to fly the planes you need to be restrained on. 430 00:19:37,886 --> 00:19:40,011 I mean, a world without experts-- 431 00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:42,096 Does beaker ever shut up? 432 00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:43,973 [chuckles] good one, me-marge. 433 00:19:43,975 --> 00:19:45,474 Mm, well, you leave me no choice. 434 00:19:45,476 --> 00:19:47,643 I'm calling in a nuclear air strike 435 00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:51,022 To obliterate all the homerized springfielders, 436 00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:52,565 Including, very sadly, 437 00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:54,775 The touring company of kinky boots. 438 00:19:54,777 --> 00:19:57,028 Obliterating in three, two-- 439 00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:58,362 Hey, you know what you need? 440 00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:01,449 A nice, relaxing scratch on the back. 441 00:20:02,243 --> 00:20:05,953 No! No! Oh, a lifetime of study and education 442 00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:07,121 Down the... [groans] 443 00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:08,789 [speaking gibberish] 444 00:20:08,791 --> 00:20:11,125 ♪ this must be just like ♪ 445 00:20:11,127 --> 00:20:13,628 ♪ living in paradise ♪ 446 00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:19,592 ♪ and I don't want to go home ♪ 447 00:20:19,594 --> 00:20:21,093 [whoops] 448 00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:25,973 ♪ this must be just like living in paradise ♪ 449 00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:28,768 -♪ just like paradise ♪ -[whoops] 450 00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:31,729 ♪ and I don't want to go home ♪ 451 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:32,730 [whoops] 452 00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:35,399 ♪ and I don't want to go ♪ 453 00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:36,442 ♪ this must be ♪ 454 00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:40,112 ♪ just like living in paradise ♪ 455 00:20:40,114 --> 00:20:42,198 [all belching] 456 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:45,326 ♪ and I don't want to go home. ♪ 457 00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:54,168 Captioning sponsored by 20th century fox television 458 00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:58,381 And fox broadcasting company 459 00:20:58,383 --> 00:21:01,959 And toyota. 460 00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:06,389 Captioned by media access group at wgbh access.Wgbh.Org 461 00:21:29,706 --> 00:21:30,830 [belches] 462 00:21:30,832 --> 00:21:33,624 [organ music plays]