1 00:01:03,608 --> 00:01:05,076 D'oh! 2 00:01:08,113 --> 00:01:09,013 Hmm? 3 00:01:21,159 --> 00:01:23,894 Number two. 4 00:01:27,733 --> 00:01:31,768 ♪ The Simpsons 22x02 ♪ Loan-a-Lisa Original Air Date on October 3, 2010 5 00:01:31,838 --> 00:01:35,574 -- Sync, corrected by elderman -- -- for www.addic7ed.com -- 6 00:02:14,312 --> 00:02:15,980 ♪ ♪ 7 00:02:43,041 --> 00:02:44,208 Aw... 8 00:02:44,276 --> 00:02:46,744 Oh, I thought we were going to breakfast. 9 00:02:46,812 --> 00:02:48,646 First we're visiting Grampa. 10 00:02:48,713 --> 00:02:50,815 No fair! We just went to church! 11 00:02:50,882 --> 00:02:52,583 Yeah, so we've already heard stories 12 00:02:52,651 --> 00:02:55,353 from thousands of years ago about stuff that didn't happen. 13 00:02:55,420 --> 00:02:56,220 Oh! 14 00:02:56,256 --> 00:02:57,790 I have an important 15 00:02:57,858 --> 00:02:58,158 announcement to make. 16 00:02:58,209 --> 00:03:00,076 I've had a lot of time to think 17 00:03:00,144 --> 00:03:03,546 since my hands got too shaky to play cards. D'oh! 18 00:03:03,614 --> 00:03:05,849 It's not your fault, Grampa. 19 00:03:05,916 --> 00:03:08,551 These cards are too slippery. See? 20 00:03:12,923 --> 00:03:14,858 Damn it! 21 00:03:14,925 --> 00:03:18,995 Anywhen, I've decided to give you all your inheritance now. 22 00:03:20,097 --> 00:03:22,265 Are you sure about that, Grampa? 23 00:03:22,333 --> 00:03:25,602 I just want to see the look on your faces 24 00:03:25,670 --> 00:03:29,506 when I share with you the fruits of a lifetime of labor. 25 00:03:32,977 --> 00:03:34,644 50 bucks each?! 26 00:03:34,712 --> 00:03:37,013 That's your life savings?! 27 00:03:37,081 --> 00:03:39,049 This won't even cover the vig on what I owe! 28 00:03:41,152 --> 00:03:44,654 Well, I lost the rest investing in a Broadway musical 29 00:03:44,722 --> 00:03:47,524 based on the real-life story of Eddie Gaedel, 30 00:03:47,591 --> 00:03:50,427 the midget who had one big league at-bat. 31 00:03:50,494 --> 00:03:55,799 I even wrote a song for American League president Will Harridge! 32 00:03:57,468 --> 00:04:00,303 ♪ What do I do with this damn little man? ♪ 33 00:04:00,371 --> 00:04:03,840 ♪ His strike zone's the size of a tuna fish can! ♪ 34 00:04:08,913 --> 00:04:12,682 ♪ His strike zone's the size of a tuna fish can. ♪ 35 00:04:12,750 --> 00:04:14,884 Now remember what Grampa said: 36 00:04:14,952 --> 00:04:17,554 you can spend the money any way you want. 37 00:04:17,621 --> 00:04:19,689 I just paid some loser 50 bucks 38 00:04:19,757 --> 00:04:22,959 to walk up the down escalator all day. 39 00:04:24,995 --> 00:04:27,797 I bet it's 11:00. I bet it's 11:00! 40 00:04:27,865 --> 00:04:31,067 Oh, 9:15?! 41 00:04:31,135 --> 00:04:34,404 Hmm, I think I'll look for a new handbag. 42 00:04:36,607 --> 00:04:38,808 Ooh, so many celebrities have their own label: 43 00:04:38,876 --> 00:04:41,344 Princess Penelope, Booberella, 44 00:04:41,412 --> 00:04:45,515 The Real Housewives of Ogdenville, even Scratchy. 45 00:04:45,583 --> 00:04:49,919 Oh... I wonder how much that one is. 46 00:04:49,987 --> 00:04:51,454 Gotta look without looking like I'm looking. 47 00:04:52,757 --> 00:04:54,958 Yes! 48 00:04:56,258 --> 00:04:58,393 I'd like this bag, please. 49 00:04:58,461 --> 00:04:59,995 Marge Simpson! 50 00:05:00,062 --> 00:05:02,664 Are you buying a Marc Fredericks signature handbag? 51 00:05:02,732 --> 00:05:04,699 Why wouldn't I? 52 00:05:04,767 --> 00:05:07,602 Well... those bags are pretty pricey. 53 00:05:07,670 --> 00:05:09,804 Hey, my husband makes good money, 54 00:05:09,872 --> 00:05:11,406 and we can certainly afford... 55 00:05:11,474 --> 00:05:13,875 That'll be $500. 56 00:05:15,411 --> 00:05:17,012 Oh, I didn't realize... 57 00:05:17,079 --> 00:05:18,646 What's the matter, Marge? 58 00:05:18,714 --> 00:05:21,016 Just remembered your husband's not a doctor? 59 00:05:21,083 --> 00:05:22,917 Oh, my God, you are so burned! 60 00:05:22,985 --> 00:05:26,254 I'll take it! 61 00:05:26,322 --> 00:05:27,422 Ooh! 62 00:05:27,490 --> 00:05:28,923 Well done, Marge. 63 00:05:28,991 --> 00:05:33,395 If you're looking for a bag hag, I'm your man. Okay? 64 00:05:33,462 --> 00:05:35,964 But stay on my good side, girlfriend. 65 00:05:36,032 --> 00:05:37,499 Or... uh-oh! 66 00:05:39,602 --> 00:05:41,503 $500?! 67 00:05:41,570 --> 00:05:43,772 That's, like, ten dead Grampas! 68 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:45,673 Some of us stuck to our limit, Marge. 69 00:05:45,741 --> 00:05:49,377 And I would've loved to rent this carpet cleaner another day! 70 00:05:49,445 --> 00:05:51,679 Is that the cat in there?! 71 00:05:51,747 --> 00:05:54,082 Well, it's a cat. I'm not sure it's the cat. 72 00:05:56,052 --> 00:05:57,919 Don't worry, Homer, 73 00:05:57,987 --> 00:05:59,254 I'll return the handbag 74 00:05:59,321 --> 00:06:01,189 first thing tomorrow. 75 00:06:02,958 --> 00:06:04,793 You know what, honey? 76 00:06:04,860 --> 00:06:07,128 Just because we can't afford to keep that handbag 77 00:06:07,196 --> 00:06:09,931 doesn't mean that you two can't have one night 78 00:06:09,999 --> 00:06:11,766 at the most glamorous place in town. 79 00:06:16,439 --> 00:06:17,739 Right this way. 80 00:06:29,185 --> 00:06:32,187 Well, at least it's a good place to see celebrities. 81 00:06:33,722 --> 00:06:35,256 It's not what you think! 82 00:06:35,324 --> 00:06:38,960 I'm researching a movie where I play myself. 83 00:06:40,396 --> 00:06:43,164 Wait a minute. Is that bag Marc Fredericks? 84 00:06:43,232 --> 00:06:44,432 Mm-hmm. 85 00:06:44,500 --> 00:06:47,669 You know, a much nicer table just opened up! 86 00:06:50,973 --> 00:06:52,140 Hmm! 87 00:06:52,208 --> 00:06:54,142 After Bart, 88 00:06:54,210 --> 00:06:57,245 that bag's the best mistake we ever made. 89 00:06:59,482 --> 00:07:01,683 I'm gonna go, uh, study the menu. 90 00:07:01,750 --> 00:07:02,717 Heh. 91 00:07:03,919 --> 00:07:06,187 So, I want to honor Grampa 92 00:07:06,255 --> 00:07:08,223 by giving my inheritance to charity. 93 00:07:08,290 --> 00:07:10,158 But which one? 94 00:07:12,461 --> 00:07:13,628 Ooh, what's this? 95 00:07:16,765 --> 00:07:20,502 MALE ANNOUNCER: Most banks are for the haves, not the have-nots. 96 00:07:20,569 --> 00:07:24,739 I'm sorry, but we simply can't accept your collateral. 97 00:07:24,807 --> 00:07:28,476 I am just a goat, but even I know that a peasant 98 00:07:28,544 --> 00:07:30,912 in an emerging economy can't get a break. 99 00:07:30,980 --> 00:07:33,815 She needs a microloan. 100 00:07:33,883 --> 00:07:35,884 A guilty first-worlder lends 101 00:07:35,951 --> 00:07:37,385 $50 or more to the Microloan Bank, 102 00:07:37,453 --> 00:07:39,354 who uses it to help my owner 103 00:07:39,421 --> 00:07:40,522 finance her business. 104 00:07:40,589 --> 00:07:41,823 Working together, 105 00:07:41,891 --> 00:07:43,358 we can help people help themselves! 106 00:07:43,425 --> 00:07:45,693 And now, apparently, I am a girl. 107 00:07:49,832 --> 00:07:51,166 Mmm... 108 00:07:51,233 --> 00:07:52,600 Hmm. 109 00:07:52,668 --> 00:07:55,136 Come on, Marge, let's hit the buffet. 110 00:07:55,204 --> 00:07:56,871 You go ahead; I'll stay here. 111 00:07:56,939 --> 00:07:58,640 If I get something on this handbag, 112 00:07:58,707 --> 00:08:00,642 I won't be able to return it. 113 00:08:00,709 --> 00:08:02,777 Oh, you don't want to wait for that buffet. 114 00:08:02,845 --> 00:08:04,012 Wiggum's making his move! 115 00:08:06,715 --> 00:08:08,249 I need backup, Lou. 116 00:08:08,317 --> 00:08:10,919 Get two plates and follow me. 117 00:08:10,986 --> 00:08:14,355 Uh, Chief, not now; I'm undercover. 118 00:08:14,423 --> 00:08:15,657 Oh, it's like that, huh? 119 00:08:15,724 --> 00:08:16,958 The minute you go undercover, 120 00:08:17,026 --> 00:08:18,993 you act like you don't even know me! 121 00:08:19,061 --> 00:08:21,863 He'll turn on you, too, Fat Tony, you just wait! 122 00:08:27,469 --> 00:08:30,238 Mm, I suppose I should get something to eat. 123 00:08:35,277 --> 00:08:37,078 Hey! 124 00:08:37,146 --> 00:08:38,346 Waah...! 125 00:08:42,017 --> 00:08:43,551 Oh, thank God! 126 00:08:44,987 --> 00:08:46,921 I can take that for you. 127 00:08:50,859 --> 00:08:52,827 Homer, take me home! 128 00:08:52,895 --> 00:08:54,462 Sure, sure! 129 00:08:54,530 --> 00:08:57,265 Let me just grab one more shrimp. 130 00:09:05,007 --> 00:09:07,642 Boy, I bet that looked cool in super slow motion. 131 00:09:07,710 --> 00:09:09,911 Too bad we saw it in regular motion. 132 00:09:09,979 --> 00:09:11,746 Yeah, I got bigger problems, Chief. 133 00:09:11,814 --> 00:09:14,582 I'm in love with the don's daughter! 134 00:09:14,650 --> 00:09:16,684 But which me does she love? 135 00:09:16,752 --> 00:09:17,619 I don't know. 136 00:09:19,722 --> 00:09:22,991 Hmm... 137 00:09:23,058 --> 00:09:25,059 Thank you so much for clicking on me. 138 00:09:25,127 --> 00:09:27,295 I am Muhammad Yunus, founder of the Grameen Bank, 139 00:09:27,363 --> 00:09:30,498 and, oh yeah, I'm also the winner of the Nobel Peace Prize. 140 00:09:30,566 --> 00:09:35,236 To find an entrepreneur you want to lend to, click on my nose... 141 00:09:35,304 --> 00:09:36,571 if you can catch it. 142 00:09:36,639 --> 00:09:37,805 It's up here! 143 00:09:37,873 --> 00:09:38,940 Now down here! 144 00:09:39,008 --> 00:09:40,108 Too slow! 145 00:09:40,175 --> 00:09:41,175 Okay, I'll hold still. 146 00:09:41,243 --> 00:09:42,243 No, I won't. 147 00:09:42,311 --> 00:09:43,478 Ha-ha! Got it! 148 00:09:43,545 --> 00:09:45,313 Good-bye! 149 00:09:45,381 --> 00:09:47,148 Let's see, I could help someone 150 00:09:47,216 --> 00:09:49,150 in any impoverished area on Earth. 151 00:09:49,218 --> 00:09:50,418 Bangladesh. 152 00:09:50,486 --> 00:09:51,786 Bolivia. 153 00:09:51,854 --> 00:09:54,555 East Springfield? 154 00:09:57,559 --> 00:10:00,962 My name is Nelson Mandela Muntz. 155 00:10:01,030 --> 00:10:01,863 Nelson? 156 00:10:01,930 --> 00:10:03,197 And my dream is 157 00:10:03,265 --> 00:10:05,266 to make and market custom bicycles. 158 00:10:05,334 --> 00:10:08,069 Nelson! My dream is to make enough money 159 00:10:08,137 --> 00:10:12,040 so's I can get the rest of this tattoo removed. 160 00:10:12,107 --> 00:10:14,275 Sorry I wasted your time. 161 00:10:14,343 --> 00:10:17,512 No fool would take a chance on a loser like me. 162 00:10:19,448 --> 00:10:22,850 I will. I'll take a chance on you, Nelson Muntz. 163 00:10:24,453 --> 00:10:27,355 Nelson, I gotta take this computer to the pawn shop, 164 00:10:27,423 --> 00:10:29,791 so's we can get White Castle for your birthday. 165 00:10:35,594 --> 00:10:38,996 So, Nelson, I see you started a small business. 166 00:10:39,064 --> 00:10:40,431 Yeah. 167 00:10:40,499 --> 00:10:42,533 Some anonymous dude sent me 50 bucks. 168 00:10:42,601 --> 00:10:45,536 Probably someone cool like Famous Amos or Ba Ba Booey. 169 00:10:45,604 --> 00:10:47,972 And I'm gonna justify his faith in me. 170 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:50,875 Well, whoever your mysterious donor is, 171 00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:54,512 he, or she, really wants you to succeed. 172 00:10:54,579 --> 00:10:55,546 Ding-dong! 173 00:10:55,614 --> 00:10:57,448 Ooh, your first customer! 174 00:10:57,516 --> 00:10:59,317 Be nice. Right. Nice. 175 00:10:59,384 --> 00:11:01,352 Good day, Mr. Barf-Breath. 176 00:11:01,420 --> 00:11:02,953 Good day to you. 177 00:11:03,021 --> 00:11:06,657 Let me be frank: Everyone thinks you're a wuss. 178 00:11:06,725 --> 00:11:08,859 So, we'll change the pink to black, 179 00:11:08,927 --> 00:11:10,261 elevate the seat-- 180 00:11:10,329 --> 00:11:11,729 trust me, it's slimming-- 181 00:11:11,797 --> 00:11:15,199 and change this wicker basket to no basket. 182 00:11:15,267 --> 00:11:17,835 Do you like it? Oh, I love it! 183 00:11:17,903 --> 00:11:20,137 Hmm! Hmm! 184 00:11:20,205 --> 00:11:22,440 Wow, my first job. 185 00:11:22,507 --> 00:11:25,443 Tonight I'm having peanut butter and jelly. 186 00:11:25,510 --> 00:11:27,778 No more PB or J for me. 187 00:11:33,752 --> 00:11:35,886 Stay cool, Marge. Stay cool. 188 00:11:37,856 --> 00:11:40,157 I'd like to return this handbag. 189 00:11:40,225 --> 00:11:41,192 Unused. 190 00:11:41,259 --> 00:11:43,127 I believe this stranger! 191 00:11:47,999 --> 00:11:50,568 Well, here's your refund. 192 00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:59,744 Check and mate. 193 00:11:59,811 --> 00:12:01,245 Thank God! 194 00:12:01,313 --> 00:12:03,347 I will never do that again. 195 00:12:03,415 --> 00:12:04,849 Wait a minute, Marge. 196 00:12:04,916 --> 00:12:07,051 Don't you realize what just happened? 197 00:12:07,119 --> 00:12:09,787 You got to enjoy that bag for nothing! 198 00:12:09,855 --> 00:12:11,555 We can buy stuff we can't afford, 199 00:12:11,623 --> 00:12:13,424 temporarily own the hell out of it, 200 00:12:13,492 --> 00:12:16,527 and then indignantly bring it back for a full refund. 201 00:12:17,596 --> 00:12:19,597 Hide a sandwich in this hat. 202 00:12:19,664 --> 00:12:22,166 "Mary Poppins" myself to work with this umbrella. 203 00:12:22,234 --> 00:12:25,136 Homie, you know what happens when you push your luck... 204 00:12:25,203 --> 00:12:27,371 Yeah, the luck lasts longer! 205 00:12:27,439 --> 00:12:31,142 Thanks to the power of returns, this store is our closet! 206 00:12:34,346 --> 00:12:37,014 Ooh, a message from my small business person! 207 00:12:38,283 --> 00:12:40,317 Dear anonymous investor: 208 00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:43,020 Here is my update on my small business. 209 00:12:43,088 --> 00:12:45,189 I'm making money fist over face! 210 00:12:45,257 --> 00:12:46,657 Dingus! 211 00:12:46,725 --> 00:12:48,659 Great timing! 212 00:12:48,727 --> 00:12:50,361 Awesome! 213 00:12:50,429 --> 00:12:53,964 No way I can look nerdy on this bike. 214 00:12:54,032 --> 00:12:56,834 ♪ Hot cross buns, hot cross buns ♪ 215 00:12:56,902 --> 00:12:58,636 ♪ One a penny, two a penny ♪ 216 00:12:58,703 --> 00:13:00,304 ♪ Hot cross buns. ♪ 217 00:13:00,372 --> 00:13:02,640 And, with the money I'm making, 218 00:13:02,707 --> 00:13:05,142 I can treat my mom the way she deserves! 219 00:13:05,210 --> 00:13:07,978 This place is so fancy, Nelson. 220 00:13:08,046 --> 00:13:10,981 The ketchup packets are made of glass. 221 00:13:12,851 --> 00:13:14,919 Ma, please. You're not at work. 222 00:13:19,458 --> 00:13:21,759 Come in. Come in. 223 00:13:21,827 --> 00:13:24,628 Don't wipe your feet. 224 00:13:24,696 --> 00:13:26,530 Whoa, look at all this stuff! 225 00:13:26,598 --> 00:13:28,766 Did you find a mouse head in your Cuppa-Soup? 226 00:13:28,834 --> 00:13:30,468 I wish. 227 00:13:30,535 --> 00:13:32,303 What the hell are you doing?! 228 00:13:32,370 --> 00:13:34,505 With this protective plastic overlay, I can't tell 229 00:13:34,573 --> 00:13:37,875 if I'm watching an old Seinfeld or an old Old Christine. 230 00:13:37,943 --> 00:13:40,244 Now, everyone onto the hot tub. 231 00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:46,217 Come on on. 232 00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:47,718 The cardboard's fine. 233 00:13:49,588 --> 00:13:51,055 Hi, Nelson. 234 00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:53,023 Here again, huh, Lis? 235 00:13:53,091 --> 00:13:55,092 I guess now that I'm a success, 236 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:57,228 you want to get back together with me. 237 00:13:57,295 --> 00:13:59,230 Dolph called it. 238 00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:02,266 No, but there is something I can't hold back anymore. 239 00:14:02,334 --> 00:14:04,602 I'm your microfinance donor! 240 00:14:04,669 --> 00:14:07,004 You're L-Simpson-Jazzgirl? 241 00:14:07,072 --> 00:14:08,439 Oh, my God. 242 00:14:08,507 --> 00:14:09,740 I owe you everything. 243 00:14:09,808 --> 00:14:11,842 Well, I didn't do this for thanks, 244 00:14:11,910 --> 00:14:13,677 but if you want to thank me, 245 00:14:13,745 --> 00:14:16,814 I can stand here and listen for as long as it takes. 246 00:14:16,882 --> 00:14:18,115 I'm sure you can. 247 00:14:18,183 --> 00:14:19,817 Lisa, if it weren't for you, 248 00:14:19,885 --> 00:14:22,286 I never would have achieved the kind of success 249 00:14:22,354 --> 00:14:24,455 that has allowed me to quit school. 250 00:14:24,523 --> 00:14:26,223 You're quitting school?! 251 00:14:26,291 --> 00:14:28,792 Dropping it like a melon off an overpass. 252 00:14:28,860 --> 00:14:31,662 But don't you know that people who don't go to college 253 00:14:31,730 --> 00:14:33,764 make three percent less than people who do? 254 00:14:33,832 --> 00:14:35,332 Lisa, thanks to you, 255 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:37,234 and Nobel laureate Mohammad Yunus, 256 00:14:37,302 --> 00:14:39,870 I can do... this! 257 00:14:39,938 --> 00:14:43,974 Spelling, meet F-Y-R-E. 258 00:14:48,122 --> 00:14:50,123 Principal Skinner, I need to convince Nelson 259 00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:51,758 to come back to school. 260 00:14:51,825 --> 00:14:53,526 Seriously? Why? With Nelson gone, 261 00:14:53,594 --> 00:14:56,262 lunch money's finally making its way to the cafeteria. 262 00:14:56,330 --> 00:14:59,198 Nurples are returning to their natural, non-purple hue. 263 00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:02,735 Besides, I hear he's doing quite well with his bicycle pimpery. 264 00:15:02,803 --> 00:15:06,472 He is. He's paying people $11 an hour to work for him. 265 00:15:06,540 --> 00:15:07,974 $11 an hour? 266 00:15:08,042 --> 00:15:09,442 That's night watchman money. 267 00:15:09,510 --> 00:15:11,778 Maybe I should have a chat with him. 268 00:15:11,845 --> 00:15:14,147 Which of these ties says confidence? 269 00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:15,782 Isn't that a Christmas tie? 270 00:15:15,849 --> 00:15:17,116 It's a conversation starter! 271 00:15:17,184 --> 00:15:18,918 Lisa, this conversation is over. 272 00:15:18,986 --> 00:15:21,187 It's not you I'm trying to impress, it's Nelson. 273 00:15:21,255 --> 00:15:23,322 I know he likes the sleeveless look. 274 00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:24,857 Skinner! 275 00:15:24,925 --> 00:15:29,696 Oh. Oh, so you also heard about the, uh, $11 an hour. 276 00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:31,431 I heard about it first. 277 00:15:31,498 --> 00:15:34,634 Yes, well, you see the thing about that is... Blah! 278 00:15:38,672 --> 00:15:40,139 Good afternoon. 279 00:15:40,207 --> 00:15:42,175 I'd like to return this merchandise. 280 00:15:42,242 --> 00:15:45,344 "Wrong size, wrong color, not asictured, 281 00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:48,114 and other reason please explain." 282 00:15:49,983 --> 00:15:52,685 Sir, this suitcase has an airline tag on it, 283 00:15:52,753 --> 00:15:54,787 these ping-pong balls have been served and volleyed, 284 00:15:54,855 --> 00:15:56,189 and this hot plate's still warm. 285 00:15:57,691 --> 00:16:00,793 Yes, uh... maybe I'll just come back 286 00:16:00,861 --> 00:16:02,361 during someone else's shift. 287 00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:03,963 Is Claire working today? 288 00:16:04,031 --> 00:16:05,398 She's a real sucker. 289 00:16:05,466 --> 00:16:08,067 Let me get my supervisor. 290 00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:11,070 Hello, Homer. How do you know my name? 291 00:16:11,138 --> 00:16:14,507 I'm Chris Hansen from To Catch a Credit-Whore. 292 00:16:14,575 --> 00:16:17,276 We know you've been returning used items all over town. 293 00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:19,512 Oh, it's not what you think... 294 00:16:19,580 --> 00:16:22,949 I came here to warn them-- yes, to-to warn them about, um... 295 00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:26,052 People like you? Yes! I mean no! I mean... 296 00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:27,787 You'll never get me! 297 00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:32,592 I have to sign a release so you can broadcast this, right? 298 00:16:34,628 --> 00:16:38,498 Initial there, and... Never! 299 00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:40,933 Can you tell me when this is gonna be on? 300 00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:42,268 I'm thinking of having a party. 301 00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:50,910 Lisa, why did you bring me here? 302 00:16:50,978 --> 00:16:52,445 Oh, I don't know. 303 00:16:52,513 --> 00:16:54,180 I thought one of these super-successful people 304 00:16:54,248 --> 00:16:56,783 might tell you how important it is to stay in school. 305 00:16:56,850 --> 00:17:00,887 Why, look. It's Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook! 306 00:17:02,356 --> 00:17:03,723 Mr. Zuckerberg, I'm Lisa, 307 00:17:03,791 --> 00:17:05,091 and this is Nelson. 308 00:17:05,159 --> 00:17:06,592 S'up, Zuck? 309 00:17:06,660 --> 00:17:08,060 "Mark Zuckerberg is... 310 00:17:08,128 --> 00:17:10,630 happy to meet new friends." 311 00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:12,732 That's great, Mr. Zuckerberg, 312 00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:14,500 but I was hoping you could tell us 313 00:17:14,568 --> 00:17:17,970 how education was instrumental to your success. 314 00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:20,807 Well, the truth is... I dropped out of Harvard. 315 00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:23,209 You did? Better earnin' than learnin'! 316 00:17:23,277 --> 00:17:25,545 Hell, yeah! I'll get the best kind of degree-- 317 00:17:25,612 --> 00:17:27,246 honorary, baby! 318 00:17:27,314 --> 00:17:29,849 Well, clearly, you're an exception. 319 00:17:29,917 --> 00:17:32,852 Am I, Lisa? Bill Gates-- dropout. 320 00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:35,354 Virgin Airlines' Richard Branson-- dropout. 321 00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:39,158 Well... didn't anybody here stay in school? 322 00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:41,894 I did. Graduated magna cum lade. 323 00:17:43,230 --> 00:17:44,463 There, you see? 324 00:17:44,531 --> 00:17:45,932 I'm afraid 325 00:17:45,999 --> 00:17:47,834 I haven't done too well for myself. 326 00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:50,670 But I can certainly appreciate the irony of it. 327 00:18:00,241 --> 00:18:03,811 So, how did everyone do with their $50? 328 00:18:03,829 --> 00:18:05,696 Well, I learned a valuable lesson 329 00:18:05,764 --> 00:18:07,665 about wanting more than I could afford. 330 00:18:07,733 --> 00:18:09,133 Marge, you couldn't have fun 331 00:18:09,201 --> 00:18:11,535 if you were a monkey on a banana boat! 332 00:18:11,603 --> 00:18:14,305 I used Grampa's money to try to help someone in need, 333 00:18:14,372 --> 00:18:16,307 but it didn't go the way I expected. 334 00:18:16,374 --> 00:18:19,477 Aw, sweetie, money can't change people. 335 00:18:19,544 --> 00:18:21,812 It can just help them be who they are. 336 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:23,447 I gave a bum a dollar once, 337 00:18:23,515 --> 00:18:26,784 and he used it to buy an Ellery Queen mystery. 338 00:18:26,852 --> 00:18:29,854 But there was one mystery Ellery Queen couldn't solve-- 339 00:18:29,921 --> 00:18:32,523 why a man was named Ellery. 340 00:18:32,591 --> 00:18:34,391 But my point is, 341 00:18:34,459 --> 00:18:38,562 whatever I said before I started talking about Ellery Queen. 342 00:18:42,167 --> 00:18:45,102 Nelson, I just wanted to say that I realize now 343 00:18:45,170 --> 00:18:49,840 you can't be anyone else other than who you are, and... Huh? 344 00:18:49,908 --> 00:18:53,577 Look, everyone, just chill out! 345 00:18:53,645 --> 00:18:55,513 My Wizard of Oz bike fell apart 346 00:18:55,580 --> 00:18:57,214 in the middle of the Pride parade! 347 00:18:57,282 --> 00:18:58,783 What kind of pride? 348 00:18:58,850 --> 00:19:01,318 Never you mind what kind! Fix my bike! 349 00:19:01,386 --> 00:19:03,454 I want my money back! 350 00:19:03,522 --> 00:19:06,791 Fine. Here's exactly what you paid me. 351 00:19:06,858 --> 00:19:08,325 Thank you! 352 00:19:08,393 --> 00:19:11,428 Oh! Why is this happening? 353 00:19:11,496 --> 00:19:15,032 Uh, this epoxy you've been using is water soluble, 354 00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:17,368 which means it's not weather-resistant. 355 00:19:17,435 --> 00:19:19,170 Dumb it down for me. 356 00:19:19,237 --> 00:19:23,274 Um... bike... sticky... water go bye-bye? 357 00:19:23,341 --> 00:19:25,776 Some sticky water stay-stay? 358 00:19:25,844 --> 00:19:26,911 All bye-bye. 359 00:19:26,978 --> 00:19:29,346 Oh! Hi, Nelson. 360 00:19:29,414 --> 00:19:31,982 Lisa, I've been thinking and... 361 00:19:32,050 --> 00:19:35,419 It fell apart when I was trying to impress this cute girl. 362 00:19:35,487 --> 00:19:37,154 My gramma! 363 00:19:37,222 --> 00:19:39,490 Maybe I could use a little more school. 364 00:19:39,558 --> 00:19:40,958 You can't break us up. 365 00:19:41,026 --> 00:19:42,393 We're like a family here. 366 00:19:42,460 --> 00:19:44,361 Kearney and I are having brunch on Sunday. 367 00:19:44,429 --> 00:19:45,896 If I'm up. 368 00:19:45,964 --> 00:19:48,332 Listen, what say we go back to the school? 369 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:52,236 I'll help you out with a little micro-financing of my own. 370 00:19:52,304 --> 00:19:55,206 $50! I can buy paint for the art class, 371 00:19:55,273 --> 00:19:57,708 instead of those crushed-up berries I find in the woods. 372 00:19:57,776 --> 00:20:00,845 And Lisa, I've got a little left that I'd like to spend on you. 373 00:20:03,849 --> 00:20:06,217 This is really fun. 374 00:20:06,284 --> 00:20:08,118 But we're still just friends, right? 375 00:20:08,186 --> 00:20:09,687 Right. Friends. 376 00:20:09,754 --> 00:20:12,056 Can I hold your hand... for balance? 377 00:20:12,123 --> 00:20:14,124 Sure... for balance. 378 00:20:17,796 --> 00:20:19,663 Haw-haw! 379 00:20:19,731 --> 00:20:21,065 Sorry. 380 00:20:21,132 --> 00:20:22,700 Haw-haw! 381 00:20:22,767 --> 00:20:23,868 Sorry. 382 00:20:26,938 --> 00:20:29,006 Oh! 383 00:20:29,074 --> 00:20:30,341 Whoa! Oh! 384 00:20:31,710 --> 00:20:35,179 "Mark Zuckerberg is..." 385 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:45,256 -- Sync, corrected by elderman -- -- for www.addic7ed.com -- 386 00:20:45,323 --> 00:20:47,191 - Haw-haw! - Sorry.