1 00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:09,008 ♪ I'm getting the mail, hallelujah ♪ 2 00:00:09,093 --> 00:00:10,259 ♪ I'm getting the mail ♪ 3 00:00:10,386 --> 00:00:12,136 ♪ it's something to do. ♪ 4 00:00:12,221 --> 00:00:15,347 Hmm. What the helen mirren? 5 00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:18,017 Stimulus checks? 6 00:00:18,144 --> 00:00:21,311 We were supposed to cash these during the pandemic. 7 00:00:21,397 --> 00:00:24,106 Should we spend the money now or wait for the next one? 8 00:00:24,150 --> 00:00:26,775 So what are we gonna blow it on, jet ski or motorbike? 9 00:00:26,861 --> 00:00:28,318 Vroom, vroom, vroom! 10 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:32,156 Mom, there is something I've always wanted for this family, 11 00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:34,116 But it's not a thing, exactly... 12 00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:35,868 Vroom? -...But rather, 13 00:00:35,911 --> 00:00:37,536 It's an experience. 14 00:00:37,663 --> 00:00:38,746 Something we can all treasure 15 00:00:38,831 --> 00:00:40,664 And talk about for years to come. 16 00:00:40,750 --> 00:00:42,166 Wow. 17 00:00:42,293 --> 00:00:44,126 Well, then maybe we should do it. 18 00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:45,794 Wait, that's the move? 19 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,172 Go all sincere and emo? Gross. 20 00:00:48,299 --> 00:00:50,049 Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom. 21 00:00:50,134 --> 00:00:52,134 There is one small issue. 22 00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:55,721 My idea will take some finessing with dad. 23 00:00:55,806 --> 00:00:56,847 Hmm. 24 00:00:56,932 --> 00:00:59,183 Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! 25 00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:01,894 Surprise money, then a surprise cruise? 26 00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:04,855 Two is the perfect number of surprises. 27 00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:07,983 It sure is, dad. We're going on a regular cruise 28 00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:10,986 With absolutely nothing about it you'd hate. 29 00:01:11,030 --> 00:01:14,073 What the hell is wrong with this boat? 30 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,116 [homer whimpers] 31 00:01:16,202 --> 00:01:19,119 "the pacific princess leia is a cruise by and for 32 00:01:19,163 --> 00:01:21,163 "fans of sci-fi, fantasy, 33 00:01:21,290 --> 00:01:24,208 Comic books, anime and video games." 34 00:01:24,293 --> 00:01:28,003 But-but those are all just different names for... 35 00:01:28,089 --> 00:01:31,173 ♪ nerds ♪ 36 00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:35,594 ♪ exciting and new ♪ 37 00:01:35,638 --> 00:01:39,598 ♪ play pickleball ♪ 38 00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:43,602 ♪ with doctor who ♪ 39 00:01:43,729 --> 00:01:47,022 ♪ the nerd boat ♪ 40 00:01:47,149 --> 00:01:51,485 ♪ your wolverine t-shirt is like a tux ♪ 41 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:54,404 ♪ the nerd boat ♪ 42 00:01:54,532 --> 00:01:59,743 ♪ where everyone knows the new star wars sucks ♪ 43 00:01:59,870 --> 00:02:01,537 ♪ the drinks are all virgin ♪ 44 00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:05,666 ♪ just like all the guests on board ♪ 45 00:02:05,709 --> 00:02:08,585 ♪ too busy geeking on movies ♪ 46 00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:12,673 ♪ from miller and lord ♪ 47 00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:16,510 ♪ and nerds ♪ 48 00:02:17,596 --> 00:02:20,139 ♪ won't hurt anymore ♪ 49 00:02:21,058 --> 00:02:25,602 ♪ that's a vow from your crew ♪ 50 00:02:25,688 --> 00:02:29,481 ♪ the fantastic four ♪ 51 00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:33,902 ♪ you're nerds ♪ 52 00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:39,992 ♪ welcome aboard, you nerds. ♪ 53 00:02:40,119 --> 00:02:41,285 Stop this loving homage! 54 00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:42,786 I see what you're doing-- 55 00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:46,039 Celebrating outcast culture that used to be on the fringes-- 56 00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:47,666 And I don't like it! 57 00:02:47,751 --> 00:02:49,293 You nerds stop playing dress-up 58 00:02:49,420 --> 00:02:52,078 Or else I'm gonna wedgie you, and swirly you, 59 00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:53,755 And purple your nurples until they-- 60 00:02:53,883 --> 00:02:55,632 [moans] 61 00:02:56,635 --> 00:02:59,595 Hey, check out that avatar volleyball tournament. 62 00:02:59,638 --> 00:03:02,097 It's na'vi vs. Last airbenders. 63 00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:06,476 And I'll be on the "harvey" deck. 64 00:03:07,730 --> 00:03:10,397 Look at all those cadburys. 65 00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:11,857 Mmm. 66 00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:14,610 Oh, my god, is that taika waititi? 67 00:03:14,737 --> 00:03:15,736 [giggles] 68 00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:17,863 I love everything you do. 69 00:03:18,032 --> 00:03:20,365 Your thor movies, what we do in the shadows. 70 00:03:20,451 --> 00:03:24,995 [gasps] oh, and you're by far my favorite on-screen hitler. 71 00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:26,538 Take that, the late bruno ganz. 72 00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:29,458 Well, if you loved that, you'll certainly be in a "führer" 73 00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:32,502 Over my newest acting role as daerius d'avignon, 74 00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:37,007 Medieval d'tective, in the new $300 million streaming show 75 00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:39,218 Murder, he swords. 76 00:03:40,179 --> 00:03:42,638 The murderer is... The black plague. 77 00:03:42,765 --> 00:03:44,097 Again. 78 00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:45,474 [groans] 79 00:03:45,601 --> 00:03:48,977 You know it's good because it's based on existing I.P. 80 00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:50,979 [trance-like] I.P., I.P. 81 00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:52,898 [maggie sucks pacifier] 82 00:03:52,942 --> 00:03:55,817 [announcer] please welcome the king and queen of this nerd prom: 83 00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:58,445 Comic and kumiko book guy. 84 00:03:59,782 --> 00:04:02,241 Out of my way, league of non-legends. 85 00:04:02,326 --> 00:04:04,534 Gaze upon your betters and weep. 86 00:04:04,662 --> 00:04:06,495 Behold, 87 00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:09,081 I have brought the jewel of my collectible collection. 88 00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:11,959 The rarest treasure in all of geekdom: 89 00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:14,294 A radioactive man action figure 90 00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:17,756 Accidentally manufactured with wolverine claws. 91 00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:21,009 Gaze upon it and lose your mind. 92 00:04:21,095 --> 00:04:23,303 [cheering and applause] 93 00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,013 Only two of those defective toys 94 00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:26,974 Were made before they caught the mistake. 95 00:04:27,059 --> 00:04:28,267 This you remember, 96 00:04:28,394 --> 00:04:31,436 But every year, our anniversary evades you. 97 00:04:31,522 --> 00:04:33,480 Don't embarrass me in front of the other blades. 98 00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:35,107 [snickering] 99 00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:37,484 Vomit book guy is on the boat? 100 00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:39,569 Ugh, cruise ruined. 101 00:04:39,655 --> 00:04:41,989 What do you have against the comic book guy? 102 00:04:42,116 --> 00:04:45,242 I walked into his store two weeks ago... 103 00:04:45,327 --> 00:04:47,619 I know this is weird, but I actually drew 104 00:04:47,705 --> 00:04:49,663 A comic book of my own. 105 00:04:49,832 --> 00:04:51,206 [comic book guy] hmm. 106 00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,417 Check it out. He's half-croc, half-gator, 107 00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:54,835 And full prankster. 108 00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:58,213 Huh. Wow. You know what? I'm really impressed. 109 00:04:58,382 --> 00:05:00,132 I'm going to fax this right away 110 00:05:00,259 --> 00:05:03,593 To my friends at "man, you suck publishing." 111 00:05:04,763 --> 00:05:05,846 [gasping] 112 00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:08,849 [laughs] you suck! 113 00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:10,434 [all laughing] 114 00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:12,352 I swear to god, one day I'm going to 115 00:05:12,438 --> 00:05:15,063 Get my revenge on comic book guy. 116 00:05:16,442 --> 00:05:17,983 ♪ 117 00:05:18,027 --> 00:05:20,193 [lively chatter] 118 00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:22,696 I hate this stupid baby dress-up cruise. 119 00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:24,698 And why can't I be uncle fester? 120 00:05:24,867 --> 00:05:28,035 I'm bald, and I already own several black muumuus. 121 00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:32,080 Ooh. Wait, this stuff doesn't have punny names, does it? 122 00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:34,041 No, it's just like any other cruise, 123 00:05:34,126 --> 00:05:36,960 Infinite food for gluttonous slobs. 124 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:40,964 Taika, why are you eating all by yourself? 125 00:05:41,050 --> 00:05:42,716 To maintain energy for all my writing, 126 00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:45,677 Directing, acting, and rakish smirking. 127 00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:47,346 Plus, it's in my cruise rider. 128 00:05:47,431 --> 00:05:50,307 I also get a cabin facing the sunrise and the sunset, 129 00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:51,433 Unlimited vegemite, 130 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:54,561 And the top tier of any seafood tower. 131 00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:55,687 Ah... 132 00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:57,522 Hmm... Hmm? 133 00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:00,776 Oh! 134 00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,277 Now on display, 135 00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:06,156 The exquisitely flawed radioactive x-gentleman, 136 00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:10,660 Aka wolveractive man, aka radio-verine. 137 00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:13,038 [crowd exclaims] 138 00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:15,832 Oh, look out. [grunts] 139 00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:17,417 Don't give that guy money. 140 00:06:17,503 --> 00:06:19,086 He's a dream-crushing jackass 141 00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:20,754 And he doesn't deserve dollar one. 142 00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:25,050 I hope one day someone destroys the thing you love most. 143 00:06:25,928 --> 00:06:27,094 [crowd exclaims] 144 00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:29,179 [carl] somebody turned off the lights. 145 00:06:30,265 --> 00:06:32,140 -[crowd gasping] -[gasps] 146 00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:34,393 [lenny] the doll's head. It's gone. 147 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:37,396 Speak to me, oh, headless radioactive collectible. 148 00:06:37,523 --> 00:06:42,442 Oh, sweet suffering mate. Let me share in your distress. 149 00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:44,569 [singing in japanese] 150 00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:48,073 Who could have done such a thing? 151 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,409 Who c-- [stammers] 152 00:06:50,536 --> 00:06:52,661 Oh, the agony! 153 00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:54,871 I wager bart simpson did this. 154 00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:56,581 He had the motive, means 155 00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:58,542 And he's a notorious stinker. 156 00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:02,170 That is a recipe for murder. 157 00:07:02,214 --> 00:07:06,007 And look at the three tiny scratch marks on bart's cheek. 158 00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:10,762 No one murders a doll on my ship. To the brig. 159 00:07:10,848 --> 00:07:12,347 [to the addams family theme] ♪ ba-da-da dum, ba-da-da dum ♪ 160 00:07:12,433 --> 00:07:14,599 ♪ ba-da-da dum ♪ d'oh! D'oh! 161 00:07:17,855 --> 00:07:19,813 I swear, I didn't kill that doll. 162 00:07:19,982 --> 00:07:21,189 Stop lying, boy. 163 00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:24,025 I can't believe you ruined my dream cruise. 164 00:07:24,153 --> 00:07:25,569 You hate this cruise. 165 00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:28,613 No, I hate the theme and the people and the boat. 166 00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,532 But I love the food. 167 00:07:32,578 --> 00:07:35,078 Mr. And mrs. Simpson, I know it's hard for you 168 00:07:35,164 --> 00:07:37,747 To see your son in this tiny cruise ship jail. 169 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,416 It is. 170 00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:40,917 Well, don't you worry. 171 00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:42,294 Tomorrow he'll be taken ashore 172 00:07:42,421 --> 00:07:44,921 And locked in a full adult prison. 173 00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:48,133 -No! -[gasps] -but with all the amenities... 174 00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:49,217 Okay. 175 00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:51,678 The amenities are a notorious prison gang. 176 00:07:51,763 --> 00:07:53,597 They really hate children. 177 00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:55,223 -No! -No! 178 00:07:58,187 --> 00:08:01,188 Lis, I know it looks bad, but I'm really scared. 179 00:08:01,223 --> 00:08:02,814 I swear I didn't do it. 180 00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:04,274 I don't know. 181 00:08:04,359 --> 00:08:06,193 You've beheaded many of my dolls, 182 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:09,237 From malibu stacy to fire island frank. 183 00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:11,656 Oh, those aren't valuable. They're yours. 184 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:14,534 Bart, you've lied to me so many times before, 185 00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:16,119 How could I ever believe you? 186 00:08:16,205 --> 00:08:18,580 Okay, but this time I'm telling the truth, 187 00:08:18,749 --> 00:08:22,167 And to prove it, I'm gonna own up to all my past lies. 188 00:08:22,211 --> 00:08:23,418 [inhales sharply] 189 00:08:23,462 --> 00:08:25,253 That time when the dog buried your saxophone 190 00:08:25,297 --> 00:08:27,005 In the garden, he had some help. 191 00:08:27,049 --> 00:08:28,256 When malala called you on your birthday 192 00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:30,550 To tell you to suck lemons, that was me. 193 00:08:30,594 --> 00:08:32,761 That time you woke up in a bathtub full of garlic knots-- 194 00:08:32,888 --> 00:08:34,721 I get it, I get it. You're terrible. 195 00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:37,390 Okay, I figure I only get one time to say, 196 00:08:37,476 --> 00:08:40,268 "lis, you gotta believe me no matter what." 197 00:08:40,395 --> 00:08:42,812 Right now, I am playing that card. 198 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:45,857 I did not destroy that doll. 199 00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:48,610 Oh, my god. I believe you. 200 00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:51,112 -[angry crowd clamoring] -oh. 201 00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:55,242 The only way to clear bart's name 202 00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:57,035 Is to figure out who really did it. 203 00:08:57,162 --> 00:08:59,538 But I can't do it all by myself. I need help. 204 00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:00,705 I'll help you. 205 00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:02,415 No, hang on, let me try that again. 206 00:09:02,626 --> 00:09:04,876 I'll help you! Nailed it. 207 00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:07,837 Taika waititi? Seriously? 208 00:09:07,923 --> 00:09:09,881 You'll help me exonerate my brother? 209 00:09:09,967 --> 00:09:11,716 Of course. Why? I'll tell you. 210 00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:13,218 Because I have a medical condition 211 00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:15,554 Where I have to be multitasking at all times. 212 00:09:15,681 --> 00:09:18,598 Well, my brother can't be the only person on this ship 213 00:09:18,684 --> 00:09:20,141 Who hated comic book guy. 214 00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:21,685 So, I guess we'll just have to question 215 00:09:21,853 --> 00:09:24,187 Every passenger on the manifest. 216 00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:26,273 Why don't we start with fans of the taika-verse? 217 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:30,068 Whoops, that's everyone. [laughs] 218 00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:31,319 Let's go. 219 00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:34,114 I hate comic book guy and I hated that doll 220 00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:36,741 Because it originally belonged to me. 221 00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:38,326 [gasps] 222 00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:41,746 [gasps] 223 00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:45,417 Oh. Oh. Ooh. 224 00:09:45,586 --> 00:09:48,128 Oh, oh. Oh. Ooh! Ooh. 225 00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:51,089 Hi. Excuse me, but I will take this, uh, 226 00:09:51,174 --> 00:09:54,134 Non-priceless, completely valueless garbage 227 00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:58,305 -Off of your hands for, uh, $11. -Huh? 228 00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:01,808 But, dad, I think it might be worth a lot more. 229 00:10:01,977 --> 00:10:03,893 Who cares, milhouse? 230 00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:07,022 This is two $5 footlongs and a weird cookie. 231 00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:11,359 Hey, luann, anniversary dinner is back on, baby. 232 00:10:13,155 --> 00:10:14,863 I didn't destroy that action figure, 233 00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:16,823 But I sure had a motive. 234 00:10:16,908 --> 00:10:18,867 A clear motive. 235 00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:22,078 I don't know why you're interrogating me. 236 00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:25,290 I have no bone to grind with that comic book chap. 237 00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:28,877 Really? Even after comic book guy 238 00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,420 Led an online troll army 239 00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:34,007 To demand you be fired and replaced in this? 240 00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:37,177 [announcer] from the producers of mad max comes a vision 241 00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:39,304 So dark, so violent 242 00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:41,514 And so wacky. 243 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,433 Sideshow mel. 244 00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:48,104 We'll kill them all, or my name isn't dick dastardly. 245 00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:51,566 And timothée chalamet as muttley. 246 00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:53,652 [wheezing laugh] 247 00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:57,572 Curse that funny-book fiend. 248 00:10:57,616 --> 00:10:59,741 He mobilized both the hanna-barbarians 249 00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:01,660 And the wack-olytes against me 250 00:11:01,787 --> 00:11:04,287 In a devastating online petition. 251 00:11:04,373 --> 00:11:06,247 [lisa gasps] 252 00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:07,874 [rumbling] 253 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,250 First of all, that looks so good, 254 00:11:09,378 --> 00:11:11,461 I'm surprised I didn't direct it. 255 00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:13,380 Did I? October was crazy. 256 00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:16,424 But mel, would your bone-trembling anger 257 00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:17,509 Lead you to destroy 258 00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:20,470 Comic book guy's most prized possession? 259 00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:22,722 It would! But it didn't. 260 00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,974 But it could! And if I did, 261 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,602 I would lie about it to you now! 262 00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:30,522 But I'm not. But I would! 263 00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:35,110 Why are you wasting your time with me? 264 00:11:35,237 --> 00:11:37,529 I love my greasy snowman husband 265 00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:40,407 And his tragic blooper of an action figure. 266 00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:43,660 We have security footage that says differently. 267 00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:52,961 It's true, I hated that injection-molded monstrosity. 268 00:11:53,130 --> 00:11:55,255 When I first met comic book guy, 269 00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:57,590 I was his priceless collectible. 270 00:11:57,676 --> 00:11:59,134 But now, when we make love, 271 00:11:59,261 --> 00:12:01,970 My husband calls out the doll's serial number. 272 00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:06,182 I just want back my sweet comic book gaijin. 273 00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:08,226 [sobs] 274 00:12:11,314 --> 00:12:14,482 So many passengers could have committed doll-icide. 275 00:12:14,526 --> 00:12:15,900 Hmm. 276 00:12:16,027 --> 00:12:17,360 Poor bart. Ah, but geez, 277 00:12:17,529 --> 00:12:20,989 Look at the mess he left in our cabin. 278 00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:22,907 [gasps] 279 00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:26,745 Oh, dear god. 280 00:12:26,872 --> 00:12:28,288 I didn't think bart did it 281 00:12:28,457 --> 00:12:30,373 But then I found this radioactive head 282 00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:33,126 From the decapitated doll in bart's stuff. 283 00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:35,587 He looked me right in the eyes 284 00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:37,547 And said he didn't do it. 285 00:12:37,632 --> 00:12:39,591 I can never trust him again. 286 00:12:39,718 --> 00:12:41,134 -[cries] -oh, sweetie, 287 00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:44,554 You've just learned one of life's hardest lessons. 288 00:12:44,639 --> 00:12:47,015 Sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, 289 00:12:47,142 --> 00:12:49,642 They're just going to let you down. 290 00:12:49,728 --> 00:12:51,269 For your mother, it's me. 291 00:12:51,313 --> 00:12:53,521 Just try to get some sleep, honey. 292 00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:57,734 Bart will still be horribly guilty in the morning. 293 00:13:00,739 --> 00:13:01,738 [sighs] 294 00:13:01,865 --> 00:13:03,323 -[knock on door] -hmm? 295 00:13:05,494 --> 00:13:07,076 Rainer wolfcastle? 296 00:13:07,162 --> 00:13:08,661 There is something I must tell you 297 00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:12,490 About the night of the fanquet and subsequent toy murder. 298 00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:13,958 When everything went dark, 299 00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,252 I was wearing my night-vision goggles, 300 00:13:16,379 --> 00:13:18,963 From my upcoming film the night-vision goggler. 301 00:13:19,007 --> 00:13:20,673 [gasps] did you see who did it? 302 00:13:20,708 --> 00:13:23,843 Patience, fräulein. I did see the culprit, 303 00:13:23,929 --> 00:13:27,722 And I am about to tell you who he or she is. 304 00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:30,725 Watch as the words emerge from my mouth. 305 00:13:30,894 --> 00:13:34,312 The doll murderer is nein other than-- 306 00:13:34,356 --> 00:13:35,688 Ouch. 307 00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:39,526 I will be passing out now and all of these things. 308 00:13:39,694 --> 00:13:41,236 [groans] 309 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:42,362 [gasps] 310 00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:52,705 [groans] damn it. 311 00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:57,085 Ugh. 312 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:03,174 Lisa. Are you also up dusting for prints? 313 00:14:03,301 --> 00:14:04,968 That's what I call eating leftover food 314 00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:07,053 Off people's room-service trays. 315 00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:10,431 I don't care! 316 00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:14,060 If one more horrible thing happens, 317 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:15,895 I'm going to lose it. 318 00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:17,230 [kumiko screams] 319 00:14:17,399 --> 00:14:21,734 My sweet comic book guy is gone. 320 00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:24,445 Of course he is. 321 00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:25,613 I mean... 322 00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:27,448 [shouts] 323 00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:33,580 Bart's in jail, our one credible witness 324 00:14:33,748 --> 00:14:34,664 Just got sucker-shielded, 325 00:14:34,749 --> 00:14:36,040 Comic book guy is missing, 326 00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:38,126 And we're still no closer to solving the case. 327 00:14:38,295 --> 00:14:39,961 So many twists and turns. 328 00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:41,754 What kind of murder mystery is this? 329 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,340 Stop talking, taika waititi. 330 00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:45,550 That's it. 331 00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:47,176 I know who murdered the toy. 332 00:14:47,262 --> 00:14:48,887 But I just need one thing: 333 00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:52,515 An audience to watch me milk the big reveal. 334 00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:55,351 The murder of comic book guy's action figure 335 00:14:55,437 --> 00:14:58,938 Was committed by comic book guy himself. 336 00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:01,274 Based on a hunch, I wrote to lloyd's of london, 337 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:04,527 And I got this response from lloyd himself. Good guy. 338 00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:07,614 Comic book guy had the doll appraised and insured 339 00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:10,617 For 935,000 british pounds. 340 00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:12,035 [all exclaiming] 341 00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:13,411 So, he turned off the lights 342 00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:15,955 And murdered the plastic action man himself 343 00:15:16,041 --> 00:15:17,415 For the insurance money. 344 00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,459 But then he knew that we were onto him, 345 00:15:19,544 --> 00:15:21,544 Or, let's face it, I was onto him. 346 00:15:21,630 --> 00:15:23,421 So, he took flight in the dead of night, 347 00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:25,965 But not before planting the doll's head in bart's cabin, 348 00:15:26,051 --> 00:15:27,842 And knocking out the one witness to the crime, 349 00:15:27,969 --> 00:15:30,762 Washed-up action star rainier wolfcastle. 350 00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:32,305 That's fair. 351 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:33,765 [moans] 352 00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:35,600 Now comic book guy's probably 353 00:15:35,727 --> 00:15:37,852 On a tropical beach somewhere sipping mai tais. 354 00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:40,396 Little does he know that his heinous crime 355 00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:43,691 Has been exposed by me, master sleuth 356 00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:46,027 And star of the upcoming reboot 357 00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:48,363 Kiwi's big adventure, 358 00:15:48,490 --> 00:15:49,948 Taika waititi. 359 00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:51,532 [cheering] 360 00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:54,494 Wow, he really did it. 361 00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,665 Oh, my god. 362 00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:00,833 How could I have been so stupid? 363 00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:04,337 Amazing work, taika waititi. 364 00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:06,381 I know you just cracked the case, 365 00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:08,675 But I have a little theory of my own. 366 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:10,468 Does anyone want to hear it? 367 00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:11,761 [all] no! 368 00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:14,389 Oh, come on, people. What's the harm? 369 00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:15,723 Thank you, taika. 370 00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:17,308 Now, as you recall, 371 00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:20,728 There were only two of these irregular radioactive man dolls 372 00:16:20,897 --> 00:16:22,981 Made in the whole world. 373 00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:25,024 -Oh, I remember. -[murmurs of agreement] 374 00:16:25,068 --> 00:16:27,485 What if the owner of the other doll 375 00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,112 Received some bad news 376 00:16:29,239 --> 00:16:31,406 And broke their action figure in a fit of rage? 377 00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:35,076 And then what if that owner came on this cruise specifically 378 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:38,830 To swap out their broken figure for comic book guy's intact one 379 00:16:38,957 --> 00:16:41,541 So that they could secretly possess the only radioactive man 380 00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:44,210 With wolverine claws left in existence? 381 00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:47,755 And I just discovered something quite interesting, 382 00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:49,882 Thanks to the ship's onboard wi-fi, 383 00:16:50,051 --> 00:16:52,635 Which is spotty at best. 384 00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:55,722 According to this website, 385 00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:57,640 That second doll was sold 386 00:16:57,767 --> 00:16:59,350 In wellington, new zealand, 387 00:16:59,436 --> 00:17:02,645 Where they spell "colour" with a "u." 388 00:17:02,731 --> 00:17:06,941 Now, who on this boat do we know comes from new zealand? 389 00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:09,360 Well, that's a very clever theory. 390 00:17:09,446 --> 00:17:10,903 But if it's a crime to be from new zealand, 391 00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:14,282 You'd have to arrest both guys from flight of the conchords. 392 00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:17,076 What are their names again? Fred and jimothy? 393 00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:19,162 You might be right, 394 00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:21,873 But consider that the shield that incapacitated 395 00:17:21,958 --> 00:17:23,833 The only witness to the crime 396 00:17:23,918 --> 00:17:26,502 Seems to be covered with goo. 397 00:17:26,588 --> 00:17:29,714 What manner of goo? 398 00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:32,175 Dad, I know this is a weird ask, 399 00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:34,552 But would you mind licking this-- oh. 400 00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:35,887 Ugh. Ew. 401 00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:38,473 Salty. Yeasty. 402 00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:41,476 Ugh. With hints of malty grossness. 403 00:17:43,271 --> 00:17:44,270 Vegemite, 404 00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:47,148 The favorite food of taika waititi. 405 00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:51,611 Or should I say fave-o-u-rite. 406 00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:53,529 [crowd muttering] 407 00:17:53,615 --> 00:17:55,823 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What about the scratch marks 408 00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:58,159 On bart simpson's face? Those had to come from 409 00:17:58,203 --> 00:17:59,619 The tiny claws on the doll he broke. 410 00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:03,998 Did they? Or maybe they came from this seafood fork. 411 00:18:04,042 --> 00:18:05,541 My dad was selfishly shoveling 412 00:18:05,668 --> 00:18:07,960 Pre-shucked shellfish down his shrimp-shaft-- 413 00:18:08,046 --> 00:18:10,213 One take [chuckles]-- and he accidentally 414 00:18:10,373 --> 00:18:12,715 Scratched bart on his cheek. 415 00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:14,884 That silver-haired multi-hyphenate 416 00:18:15,053 --> 00:18:16,719 Is guilty as sin. 417 00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,429 [chuckles] not without 418 00:18:18,556 --> 00:18:21,015 One more piece of damning evidence, I'm not. 419 00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:23,476 You can't just tear my cabin apart! 420 00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:24,894 You need a warrant! 421 00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:28,272 No, we don't. We're in international waters. 422 00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:30,149 We're in the middle of lake springfield. 423 00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:32,568 I can see the lard lad statue from here. 424 00:18:32,695 --> 00:18:36,781 Here it is, comic book guy's original doll unbroken. 425 00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:40,201 Damn it. Yes, it's true, lenny. I did it. 426 00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,870 I threw my new zealand radioactive man across the room 427 00:18:42,997 --> 00:18:44,872 When I found out the streamer was shelving 428 00:18:44,999 --> 00:18:47,708 The second season of my series without airing it. 429 00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,585 For tax purposes? 430 00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:51,087 Yes, for tax purposes. 431 00:18:51,214 --> 00:18:53,506 So I hatched this plan because I needed the money 432 00:18:53,591 --> 00:18:57,385 To throw into my already enormous pile of money. 433 00:18:57,428 --> 00:18:58,302 [handcuffs clink] 434 00:18:58,388 --> 00:19:00,429 You haven't seen the last of me. 435 00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:02,974 I've got powerful friends in new zealand. 436 00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:07,687 Hobbits, orcs, lorde, ents, melanie lynskey, 437 00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:09,272 The "how bizarre" guy. 438 00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:11,023 We are a powerful nation. 439 00:19:11,109 --> 00:19:12,859 [shrieks] ow! Ow! 440 00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:15,653 There is one thing I can't figure out. 441 00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:17,613 What happened to comic book guy? 442 00:19:17,699 --> 00:19:19,615 I mean, we looked everywhere. 443 00:19:19,701 --> 00:19:23,369 [gasps] except the one place he would never go. 444 00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:28,708 Oh, my sarcastic darling. 445 00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:30,418 What happened to you? 446 00:19:30,545 --> 00:19:32,044 Permit me to explain. 447 00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:34,088 [homer] oh, more explaining? 448 00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:38,676 [comic book guy] when lisa and taika waititi began questioning suspects, 449 00:19:38,761 --> 00:19:40,511 I set up a surveillance device 450 00:19:40,597 --> 00:19:44,515 Because I wanted to mock their inept methods of interrogation. 451 00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:46,767 I hate comic book guy, 452 00:19:46,895 --> 00:19:48,853 But then again, so does everyone. 453 00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:50,438 He smells like baked beans 454 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,106 That have been left out in the sun. 455 00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:54,150 I loathe his voice. 456 00:19:54,319 --> 00:19:57,570 Who speaks with such exaggerated affectation? 457 00:19:57,655 --> 00:19:58,863 [comic book guy] no one should ever have to hear 458 00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:00,489 What people actually think of them. 459 00:20:00,575 --> 00:20:04,452 Apparently, I am not a beloved quirky character, like kramer. 460 00:20:04,495 --> 00:20:08,122 Instead, I am widely reviled, like the guy who played kramer. 461 00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:11,125 So, I hid here, surrounded only by shame 462 00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:14,212 And whatever these metal things are. 463 00:20:14,297 --> 00:20:16,422 Mmm! [grunts happily] 464 00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,633 I don't want to get all sincere and emo, 465 00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:20,009 But thanks, lisa. 466 00:20:20,094 --> 00:20:21,418 You never lost faith in me. 467 00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:24,972 Well, if I'm being totally honest... 468 00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:27,516 ...I never did. 469 00:20:29,938 --> 00:20:32,605 Captioning sponsored by 20th century fox television 470 00:20:32,649 --> 00:20:34,607 And fox broadcasting company 471 00:20:34,692 --> 00:20:36,400 And toyota. 472 00:20:36,486 --> 00:20:38,694 Captioned by media access group at wgbh access.Wgbh.Org 473 00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:44,617 I just want back 474 00:20:44,661 --> 00:20:46,827 My sweet comic book gaijin. 475 00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:49,121 [sobs] 476 00:20:49,207 --> 00:20:52,500 Once again, a critical lesson is learned via hologram. 477 00:20:52,543 --> 00:20:55,253 I have been a fool. 478 00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:57,964 ♪ 479 00:21:17,151 --> 00:21:19,735 Best husband ever. 480 00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,207 Shh!