1 00:00:46,290 --> 00:00:47,290 D'oh! 2 00:00:53,964 --> 00:00:55,131 D'oh! Stupid fuse. 3 00:00:55,132 --> 00:00:59,132 ♪ The Simpsons 25x12 ♪ Diggs Original Air Date on March 9, 2014 4 00:00:59,133 --> 00:01:01,070 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 5 00:01:01,071 --> 00:01:04,674 Mmm! 6 00:01:04,908 --> 00:01:05,941 Maggie? 7 00:01:05,976 --> 00:01:07,476 Maggie! 8 00:01:07,511 --> 00:01:09,011 Maggie? 9 00:01:09,045 --> 00:01:10,279 Maggie! 10 00:01:11,070 --> 00:01:12,404 Mmm! 11 00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:20,979 Mmm! 12 00:01:32,125 --> 00:01:33,692 Hmm... 13 00:01:33,726 --> 00:01:35,260 Maggie? 14 00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:36,261 Maggie! 15 00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:38,997 Hmm. Hey! 16 00:01:44,404 --> 00:01:45,937 Maggie! 17 00:02:00,420 --> 00:02:03,689 And it's for all these reasons and more 18 00:02:03,723 --> 00:02:06,024 that the Kingdom of Moab 19 00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:08,960 is the least interesting in the Bible. 20 00:02:08,995 --> 00:02:10,395 Amen. 21 00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:11,863 Amen! We're done! 22 00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:16,134 Allow me to introduce our guest speaker 23 00:02:16,169 --> 00:02:18,570 from the ill-advised mission in Indonesia, 24 00:02:18,604 --> 00:02:21,807 the Reverend Kartawijaya. 25 00:02:22,975 --> 00:02:25,577 I know how you feel, young man. Huh? 26 00:02:25,611 --> 00:02:28,847 The children in my village are just like you. 27 00:02:28,881 --> 00:02:31,917 One boy, named Sumadi, never comes to church. 28 00:02:31,951 --> 00:02:33,218 He is always tying 29 00:02:33,252 --> 00:02:34,953 the monkeys' tails together 30 00:02:34,987 --> 00:02:36,922 and yelling, "Tiger is gone," 31 00:02:36,956 --> 00:02:39,057 when, in fact, tiger is there. 32 00:02:39,092 --> 00:02:42,627 Hmm! Unfortunately, Sumadi is sick now. 33 00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:44,896 What?! Su-Sumadi has a problem? 34 00:02:44,931 --> 00:02:47,432 Sumadi and others equally doe-eyed... 35 00:02:47,467 --> 00:02:49,468 need urgent medical treatment. 36 00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:52,537 After all, we are all just children of Allah. 37 00:02:52,572 --> 00:02:55,874 I mean God. Sorry. Recent convert. 38 00:02:55,908 --> 00:02:56,875 Poor Sumadi. 39 00:02:56,909 --> 00:02:59,111 Born in such a terrible country. 40 00:02:59,145 --> 00:03:00,545 Now, wait a minute. 41 00:03:00,580 --> 00:03:01,847 But good news. 42 00:03:01,881 --> 00:03:05,083 To help him, we will now have a second collection. 43 00:03:06,819 --> 00:03:08,787 Wasn't our sympathetic nodding enough? 44 00:03:08,821 --> 00:03:10,088 Mom, can I have some money? 45 00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:12,257 I'm sorry, honey. I'm all out. 46 00:03:12,291 --> 00:03:15,460 I spent all I had lighting that candle for Great Aunt Betty. 47 00:03:17,096 --> 00:03:20,198 I hope that wasn't somebody's Aunt Betty or something. 48 00:03:20,233 --> 00:03:23,435 Dad, please? For Sumadi? 49 00:03:23,469 --> 00:03:25,337 Sorry, son, I only have 20s. 50 00:03:25,371 --> 00:03:26,571 And if God needs money, 51 00:03:26,606 --> 00:03:28,106 why doesn't he just write another Bible? 52 00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:29,975 The first one sold pretty well. 53 00:03:30,009 --> 00:03:31,343 Does anyone remember 54 00:03:31,377 --> 00:03:33,979 when it was considered rude to talk in church? 55 00:03:34,013 --> 00:03:35,647 Pipe down, Ned. 56 00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:38,817 Please? 57 00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:43,188 All right, son, 58 00:03:43,222 --> 00:03:45,023 but you have to pay me back. 59 00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:49,127 Life is good. 60 00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:50,662 Do you have my money? What? 61 00:03:50,696 --> 00:03:51,963 Do you have my money? 62 00:03:51,998 --> 00:03:53,265 How could I? 63 00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:54,633 Right, right, too soon. 64 00:03:54,667 --> 00:03:56,134 Do you have my money? 65 00:03:59,672 --> 00:04:01,206 Seriously, do you have my money? 66 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:02,974 Where's my money? 67 00:04:03,976 --> 00:04:04,643 Huh? 68 00:04:11,250 --> 00:04:12,350 Where's my money? 69 00:04:13,719 --> 00:04:15,921 Where's... my... 70 00:04:15,955 --> 00:04:18,757 mon... ey? 71 00:04:18,791 --> 00:04:20,358 It's been a rough patch, man. 72 00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:22,160 Hope you got something to cheer me up. 73 00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:24,629 Well, there is one fun fact 74 00:04:24,664 --> 00:04:27,599 I've been saving for an emergency situation. 75 00:04:27,633 --> 00:04:30,502 Did you know there really was a Duncan Hines? 76 00:04:30,536 --> 00:04:32,737 Where's my money? Do you have my money? Where is it? 77 00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:34,806 You know, if you had the money, I'm right here. 78 00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:35,941 Do you have the money? 79 00:04:35,975 --> 00:04:37,275 Money-money-money-money-mon... 80 00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:40,912 Homer, quit badgering the boy. 81 00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:44,216 Pressure's how you make your beloved diamonds, Marge. 82 00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:46,117 I don't have any diamonds. 83 00:04:46,152 --> 00:04:47,953 Quit pressuring me! 84 00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:52,557 Money, money. I need money! 85 00:04:52,592 --> 00:04:54,993 Would you eat anything for money? 86 00:04:55,027 --> 00:04:56,528 I guess. Who are you? 87 00:04:56,562 --> 00:04:59,431 School play. Damn Yankees. 88 00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:01,633 Children of the playground! 89 00:05:02,768 --> 00:05:05,237 I will eat anything for money! 90 00:05:05,271 --> 00:05:06,471 Except money! 91 00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:09,708 I'll give you a quarter if you eat my gum. 92 00:05:10,943 --> 00:05:13,245 I'll give you another if you eat mine. 93 00:05:14,614 --> 00:05:16,414 Here's some orthodontic wax! 94 00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:17,916 And some cinnamon! 95 00:05:17,950 --> 00:05:19,417 Saint-John's-wort! 96 00:05:21,754 --> 00:05:23,255 And here's something that'll make you 97 00:05:23,289 --> 00:05:25,524 forget about the other stuff. 98 00:05:25,558 --> 00:05:27,292 Ay caramba. 99 00:05:28,961 --> 00:05:30,328 So, what else you got? 100 00:05:30,363 --> 00:05:31,830 All right, Simpson. 101 00:05:31,864 --> 00:05:36,668 20 big ones says you're not messed-up enough to eat... this. 102 00:05:39,872 --> 00:05:41,706 No, Bart, no! 103 00:05:41,741 --> 00:05:43,642 Do it, and you'll always be known 104 00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:45,877 as the kid who ate the dead frog. 105 00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,146 Where's my money? 106 00:05:48,180 --> 00:05:49,281 Get my money! 107 00:05:49,315 --> 00:05:50,982 Money-money-money-money-money! 108 00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:04,329 Easiest money I ever... 109 00:06:05,731 --> 00:06:08,800 Son, by rights, I should be playing banjo at your funeral. 110 00:06:08,834 --> 00:06:10,874 That frog was filled to the gills with formaldehyde, 111 00:06:10,903 --> 00:06:14,072 a highly toxic poison. 112 00:06:14,106 --> 00:06:15,273 Here's your money, Dad. 113 00:06:15,308 --> 00:06:16,474 What? 114 00:06:16,509 --> 00:06:18,009 Did you owe me some money? 115 00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:20,645 And, Homer, here's your bill for $4,000. 116 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:21,780 D'oh! 117 00:06:21,814 --> 00:06:23,548 Where's my money? You got my money? 118 00:06:23,583 --> 00:06:25,417 Where's my money? 119 00:06:25,451 --> 00:06:27,285 Seriously, where's my money? 120 00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:36,828 Ew! It's the kid who ate the dead frog! 121 00:06:41,801 --> 00:06:43,468 Herbivore! 122 00:06:43,502 --> 00:06:45,070 That's someone who eats plants. 123 00:06:45,104 --> 00:06:47,973 I named the frog Herb. 124 00:06:48,007 --> 00:06:50,075 Even you won't sit with me? 125 00:06:50,109 --> 00:06:52,444 Bart, if you sit here, I'll be the boy 126 00:06:52,478 --> 00:06:55,246 who sat next to the boy who ate the frog. 127 00:06:55,281 --> 00:06:57,949 And I'm already the boy who shared a comb with a boy 128 00:06:57,984 --> 00:06:59,384 who threw up on the boy 129 00:06:59,418 --> 00:07:01,720 who wet his pants at the winter carnival. 130 00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:04,322 P.S. I would've given you the money. 131 00:07:19,438 --> 00:07:21,506 What's the matter, frog in your throat? 132 00:07:21,540 --> 00:07:23,608 You're the ones that paid me to eat it. 133 00:07:23,643 --> 00:07:25,910 All we hear is: ribbit, ribbit! 134 00:07:30,049 --> 00:07:33,084 You said this was a simple bullying job! 135 00:07:36,322 --> 00:07:38,456 Diggs and Freedom at your service. 136 00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:40,025 Diggs is short for Digby. 137 00:07:40,059 --> 00:07:42,627 Thanks. I'm the kid that ate the frog. 138 00:07:42,662 --> 00:07:43,928 Oh, so you're the reason 139 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:46,031 I had to dissect a Muppet in biology today. 140 00:07:49,675 --> 00:07:51,864 Thanks for the help, man. Oh, you're welcome. 141 00:07:51,889 --> 00:07:53,054 At least for me. 142 00:07:53,055 --> 00:07:54,923 There's no way to say what the bird thinks. 143 00:07:54,957 --> 00:07:56,758 Or even if he thinks, really. 144 00:07:56,792 --> 00:07:57,859 Wait, wait, wait! 145 00:07:57,893 --> 00:07:59,227 Who the hell are you? 146 00:07:59,261 --> 00:08:01,029 I transferred here a few months ago. 147 00:08:01,063 --> 00:08:03,264 To this school? On purpose? 148 00:08:03,299 --> 00:08:05,066 Even after Springfield Montessori opened 149 00:08:05,101 --> 00:08:06,735 across the street? 150 00:08:11,807 --> 00:08:13,742 That place is really in your face. 151 00:08:13,776 --> 00:08:15,543 I like the lack of attention. 152 00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:17,045 Especially in here. 153 00:08:25,554 --> 00:08:27,522 This school has a falconry club? 154 00:08:27,556 --> 00:08:28,790 No way. 155 00:08:28,824 --> 00:08:30,225 I resuscitated it. 156 00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:32,193 I'm president, secretary treasurer 157 00:08:32,228 --> 00:08:33,595 and faculty advisor. 158 00:08:33,629 --> 00:08:35,764 That took a lot of fancy paperwork. 159 00:08:35,798 --> 00:08:38,933 But it was worth it to be left alone. 160 00:08:38,968 --> 00:08:40,435 Can I join? 161 00:08:40,469 --> 00:08:42,670 Hmm. I'll have to check with Freedom. 162 00:08:43,806 --> 00:08:45,440 Habemus Papam! 163 00:08:45,474 --> 00:08:46,975 We have a poop! 164 00:08:47,009 --> 00:08:48,543 It's white. You're in. 165 00:08:49,845 --> 00:08:53,882 Looks like the falconry club's back from the dead. 166 00:08:53,916 --> 00:08:55,717 Can the Esperanto Society be far behind? 167 00:08:55,751 --> 00:08:56,985 I mean... 168 00:08:57,019 --> 00:09:00,822 Cu la Esperanto-Societo esti multe malantau? 169 00:09:00,856 --> 00:09:02,590 Two languages, 170 00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:04,759 and somehow no one will talk to you. 171 00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:06,394 Gi estas vera. 172 00:09:06,429 --> 00:09:08,396 Mi tre soleca. Loser. 173 00:09:08,431 --> 00:09:10,098 The first thing to learn about falcons 174 00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:12,100 is how beautiful they are in flight. 175 00:09:16,338 --> 00:09:19,007 Don't fret. He'll be back. 176 00:09:19,041 --> 00:09:21,409 There's my Sky Gramma! 177 00:09:21,444 --> 00:09:25,080 Bart's usually first in line for Taco Night, 178 00:09:25,114 --> 00:09:27,282 but now he's muy tarde. 179 00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:29,417 Oh, is it all right to say "tarde"? 180 00:09:29,452 --> 00:09:31,186 Mmm, hey, you've said it twice, Marge-- 181 00:09:31,220 --> 00:09:33,421 you're in pretty deep. 182 00:09:33,456 --> 00:09:34,422 Homer! 183 00:09:34,457 --> 00:09:36,324 Ten-minute rule! 184 00:09:36,358 --> 00:09:37,492 Lisa! 185 00:09:37,526 --> 00:09:39,494 What? A rule's a rule. 186 00:09:40,529 --> 00:09:42,497 There he is! 187 00:09:42,531 --> 00:09:45,133 Ah, he is just riding that thermal! 188 00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:47,202 You were right about watching him fly. 189 00:09:47,236 --> 00:09:48,570 I thought you'd get it. 190 00:09:48,604 --> 00:09:50,138 Seat backs and tray tables, Bart. 191 00:09:50,172 --> 00:09:51,673 We're coming in for a landing. 192 00:09:54,143 --> 00:09:56,211 Wow, you don't know how impressive that is 193 00:09:56,245 --> 00:09:59,314 to a boy whose dad can't even get the dog to sit. 194 00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:01,316 Sit. Sit. 195 00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:03,485 Sit... 196 00:10:03,519 --> 00:10:05,053 Sit! 197 00:10:05,087 --> 00:10:06,554 Sit! 198 00:10:06,589 --> 00:10:08,756 I don't know what that is, 199 00:10:08,791 --> 00:10:10,725 but it's not sitting! 200 00:10:10,759 --> 00:10:13,228 Where could Bart be? 201 00:10:13,262 --> 00:10:15,463 I saw him heading across the field after school 202 00:10:15,498 --> 00:10:18,566 with a kid a little bit older and undoubtedly wiser. 203 00:10:18,601 --> 00:10:21,836 Oh, I know what that means! 204 00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:26,074 There comes a time when a boy sneaks his first beer. 205 00:10:26,108 --> 00:10:29,110 Finally! I was beginning to think that kid was a... 206 00:10:29,145 --> 00:10:30,879 teetotaler. 207 00:10:30,913 --> 00:10:33,081 Bart Simpson, at your service. 208 00:10:33,115 --> 00:10:35,450 More like "at your six-pack," am I right? 209 00:10:36,752 --> 00:10:39,254 It's okay if you need to take a little nap. 210 00:10:39,288 --> 00:10:40,688 Why would I want a nap? 211 00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:44,092 Because you're so drunk you can barely keep it together. 212 00:10:44,126 --> 00:10:45,093 I wasn't drinking. 213 00:10:45,127 --> 00:10:46,361 I was learning that nature 214 00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:48,062 isn't a complete waste of space. 215 00:10:48,097 --> 00:10:49,631 That doesn't sound like you. 216 00:10:49,665 --> 00:10:51,699 But it does sound like the kind of lie 217 00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:54,836 you'd make up after the first time you got blitzed. 218 00:10:54,870 --> 00:10:55,837 I met this kid. 219 00:10:55,871 --> 00:10:57,305 A little older, kind of strange. 220 00:10:57,339 --> 00:10:58,806 I don't think other people get him. 221 00:10:58,841 --> 00:11:01,109 But I just want to hang out with him all the time. 222 00:11:01,143 --> 00:11:03,378 It's even better than I thought. 223 00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:06,481 You've found your Moe Szyslak! 224 00:11:06,506 --> 00:11:08,707 In just a few short years, 225 00:11:08,732 --> 00:11:10,732 you'll be getting your version of baked 226 00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:12,988 on your version of pot 227 00:11:13,022 --> 00:11:15,424 listening to your version of Journey. 228 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:17,726 Wha...? 229 00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:19,328 What's he doing? 230 00:11:23,533 --> 00:11:25,200 Now, when he lands, you'll feed him 231 00:11:25,235 --> 00:11:28,203 so he has positive associations with you. 232 00:11:30,039 --> 00:11:32,508 Don't worry, he's only bitten off one of my fingers. 233 00:11:34,210 --> 00:11:35,210 Just goofing on you. 234 00:11:35,245 --> 00:11:37,079 This is the finger he bit off. 235 00:11:40,817 --> 00:11:43,519 If he starts to carry you off, slip out of the glove. 236 00:11:43,553 --> 00:11:45,087 Now tell him to fly. 237 00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:46,622 Fly! Fly! 238 00:11:46,656 --> 00:11:49,458 Come on, man! Do the wing thing! 239 00:11:50,493 --> 00:11:51,527 I did it! He did it! 240 00:11:51,561 --> 00:11:52,828 We did it! 241 00:11:52,862 --> 00:11:53,829 Yes, Bart, that is 242 00:11:53,863 --> 00:11:55,230 how you conjugate the verb "to do." 243 00:11:55,265 --> 00:11:56,865 Well done. 244 00:11:59,169 --> 00:12:01,870 ♪ Come Saturday morning ♪ 245 00:12:01,905 --> 00:12:03,438 D'oh! 246 00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:08,076 ♪ I'm going away with my friend ♪ 247 00:12:08,111 --> 00:12:10,679 ♪ We'll Saturday spend ♪ 248 00:12:10,713 --> 00:12:15,250 ♪ Till the end of the day... ♪ 249 00:12:16,586 --> 00:12:18,320 Hey! 250 00:12:18,354 --> 00:12:19,922 Bring back my bling. 251 00:12:19,956 --> 00:12:22,391 ♪ Just I and my friend ♪ 252 00:12:22,425 --> 00:12:24,393 ♪ We'll travel for miles ♪ 253 00:12:24,427 --> 00:12:27,462 ♪ In our Saturday smiles ♪ 254 00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:28,497 Give that back! 255 00:12:28,531 --> 00:12:31,166 All I got is a hole in my face! 256 00:12:31,201 --> 00:12:33,669 Uncle Krusty's back. 257 00:12:39,442 --> 00:12:41,844 Whoa! Did you teach him to do that? 258 00:12:41,878 --> 00:12:44,680 Nobody could communicate that. 259 00:12:44,714 --> 00:12:46,815 Except maybe Gerard Manley Hopkins. 260 00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:48,984 "I caught this morning morning's minion 261 00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:50,586 "Kingdom of daylight's dauphin, 262 00:12:50,620 --> 00:12:52,855 "Dapple-dawn-drawn Falcon, in his riding 263 00:12:52,889 --> 00:12:56,358 "Of the rolling level underneath him steady air, and striding 264 00:12:56,392 --> 00:13:00,128 High there, how he rung upon the rein of a wimpling wing." 265 00:13:00,163 --> 00:13:01,964 Wow! 266 00:13:03,299 --> 00:13:05,000 I've already eaten. 267 00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:07,936 Hey, you want to see something really cool? 268 00:13:07,971 --> 00:13:10,472 Is a falcon's training leash called a creance? 269 00:13:10,506 --> 00:13:11,506 Yes! 270 00:13:21,751 --> 00:13:24,553 Say something so I'll know you're not hurt. 271 00:13:24,587 --> 00:13:26,455 I'm really hurt. Phew! 272 00:13:31,766 --> 00:13:32,966 Bartholomew! 273 00:13:33,001 --> 00:13:34,234 Good to see you, old sport. 274 00:13:34,269 --> 00:13:35,602 Where's Freedom? 275 00:13:35,637 --> 00:13:38,305 Well, my dad said don't bring home any more dogs, cats, 276 00:13:38,339 --> 00:13:40,407 turtles or snakes, but he never 277 00:13:40,442 --> 00:13:43,477 said anything about predatory birds. 278 00:13:46,181 --> 00:13:49,550 Okay, in your terms, points are like mice... 279 00:13:50,785 --> 00:13:52,152 Don't interrupt. I just thought 280 00:13:52,187 --> 00:13:54,054 it would be nice if we shared an interest. 281 00:13:56,725 --> 00:13:58,225 Ooh... 282 00:13:58,259 --> 00:14:01,061 You Korean girls know what a soldier likes. 283 00:14:02,997 --> 00:14:05,232 Fine! But the game is much more enjoyable 284 00:14:05,266 --> 00:14:06,467 if you understand it. 285 00:14:06,501 --> 00:14:08,535 Look, the Eagles and the Falcons. 286 00:14:08,570 --> 00:14:10,437 Tell me you're not interested in that. 287 00:14:12,507 --> 00:14:14,308 I could fly, too, if I didn't have 288 00:14:14,342 --> 00:14:15,809 a wife and three kids! 289 00:14:15,844 --> 00:14:18,412 Hey, you've had a lot of visitors. 290 00:14:18,446 --> 00:14:20,414 No, I signed them myself. 291 00:14:20,448 --> 00:14:22,649 They're people I would've liked to come visit. 292 00:14:22,684 --> 00:14:24,818 Ay, caramba! 293 00:14:24,853 --> 00:14:27,988 Listen, what happened in that tree? 294 00:14:28,022 --> 00:14:29,823 Um, you want the truth? 295 00:14:29,858 --> 00:14:31,058 Of course you do. 296 00:14:31,092 --> 00:14:32,459 You're like Diogenes. 297 00:14:32,494 --> 00:14:34,328 But with slingshot in place of lamp. 298 00:14:37,232 --> 00:14:39,833 I wanted to fly. 299 00:14:39,868 --> 00:14:41,869 I know it sounds a little crazy now, 300 00:14:41,903 --> 00:14:44,138 but I suddenly thought maybe we can all fly, 301 00:14:44,172 --> 00:14:46,406 but somehow we've forgotten that we can. 302 00:14:46,441 --> 00:14:48,742 You don't still think that, do you? 303 00:14:48,777 --> 00:14:51,411 Hey, I'm not flying anywhere with this broken wing. 304 00:14:52,947 --> 00:14:55,082 Bart, here's another doctor that would like 305 00:14:55,116 --> 00:14:57,184 a few words with this young man. 306 00:14:57,218 --> 00:15:00,521 This hospital has another doctor? 307 00:15:04,626 --> 00:15:07,094 So they're transferring him to another hospital. 308 00:15:07,128 --> 00:15:10,030 Well, I hope he gets out soon and takes his bird back. 309 00:15:10,064 --> 00:15:13,033 I don't care for how it circles the cat. 310 00:15:15,637 --> 00:15:17,938 He's just riding the thermals from Dad's butt. 311 00:15:17,972 --> 00:15:20,874 At least someone in this family is using them. 312 00:15:20,909 --> 00:15:22,376 I never heard of this new hospital, 313 00:15:22,410 --> 00:15:24,378 so I looked it up and printed it out. 314 00:15:24,412 --> 00:15:26,046 Ooh! 315 00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:27,548 Can I visit him tomorrow? 316 00:15:27,582 --> 00:15:29,783 I don't know, Bart. 317 00:15:29,818 --> 00:15:31,451 This is one of those 318 00:15:31,486 --> 00:15:34,254 Arkham Asylum-type hospitals. 319 00:15:34,289 --> 00:15:35,722 Diggs isn't cuckoo! 320 00:15:35,757 --> 00:15:37,224 Uh, listen, boy. 321 00:15:37,258 --> 00:15:38,859 Maybe you should spend more time 322 00:15:38,893 --> 00:15:40,894 with your old best friend. 323 00:15:40,929 --> 00:15:42,429 You know, Dweebler. 324 00:15:42,463 --> 00:15:45,132 Milhouse abandoned me. 325 00:15:45,166 --> 00:15:46,934 So, why can't I go there? 326 00:15:46,968 --> 00:15:49,303 Bart, if this is what I think it is, 327 00:15:49,337 --> 00:15:52,873 it's not a place we should ever, ever take a little boy. 328 00:15:52,907 --> 00:15:54,508 Then why is Diggs there? 329 00:15:54,542 --> 00:15:57,711 Because it's his home forever. 330 00:16:00,415 --> 00:16:02,216 You know, Bart, 331 00:16:02,250 --> 00:16:04,117 just because Diggs is a little different 332 00:16:04,152 --> 00:16:06,787 doesn't mean he's not a good person. 333 00:16:06,821 --> 00:16:08,722 What would you know about friends like Diggs? 334 00:16:08,756 --> 00:16:10,224 I have about eight of them. 335 00:16:10,258 --> 00:16:11,959 So, how do we fix him? 336 00:16:11,993 --> 00:16:13,527 Oh, Bart. 337 00:16:13,561 --> 00:16:16,263 Diggs's problems don't have easy fixes. 338 00:16:16,297 --> 00:16:18,799 What kind of cheer-up talk is this? 339 00:16:18,833 --> 00:16:22,169 Well, sometimes it helps to know people feel for you. 340 00:16:22,203 --> 00:16:24,238 Want a hug? 341 00:16:27,508 --> 00:16:28,542 You hug the bedpost. 342 00:16:28,576 --> 00:16:29,810 Then I hug the bedpost. 343 00:16:29,844 --> 00:16:31,845 That way we never hug each other. 344 00:16:35,850 --> 00:16:40,320 ♪ Come Saturday morning ♪ 345 00:16:40,355 --> 00:16:43,490 ♪ I'm going away... ♪ 346 00:16:43,524 --> 00:16:44,491 Hey, Simpson. 347 00:16:44,525 --> 00:16:46,493 I heard bird boy got a new cage. 348 00:16:46,527 --> 00:16:48,996 One with rubber bars. 349 00:16:49,030 --> 00:16:51,031 Yeah, and a rubber perch! 350 00:16:51,065 --> 00:16:52,599 Yeah, yeah, and a... 351 00:16:52,634 --> 00:16:54,468 I get it. It sucks. 352 00:16:54,502 --> 00:16:55,736 Really sucks. 353 00:16:55,770 --> 00:16:57,671 Rubber birdfeeder. 354 00:16:57,705 --> 00:16:59,973 Making fun of the mentally ill-- 355 00:17:00,008 --> 00:17:01,842 real classy. 356 00:17:01,876 --> 00:17:02,843 But you guys were... 357 00:17:02,877 --> 00:17:04,811 We were what, Captain Sensitive? 358 00:17:08,349 --> 00:17:11,852 The rumors of my bonkertude have been greatly exaggerated. 359 00:17:11,886 --> 00:17:14,087 DSM-5 indicates paranoid schizophrenia, 360 00:17:14,122 --> 00:17:16,323 but that work is mired in controversy. 361 00:17:16,357 --> 00:17:17,324 Mired. 362 00:17:17,358 --> 00:17:18,659 I knew you'd escape! 363 00:17:18,693 --> 00:17:20,661 Were you carried out by a flock of falcons? 364 00:17:20,695 --> 00:17:22,095 I got a one-day pass. 365 00:17:22,130 --> 00:17:23,563 Were falcons involved in any way? 366 00:17:23,598 --> 00:17:27,000 I obtained the pass to enter the Springfield Falconry Contest, 367 00:17:27,035 --> 00:17:28,802 which is what Freedom and I were training for 368 00:17:28,836 --> 00:17:30,070 when we first met you. 369 00:17:30,104 --> 00:17:31,204 Oh, great. 370 00:17:31,239 --> 00:17:33,073 Before anything else, let me just get closer 371 00:17:33,107 --> 00:17:35,909 to the door and say, "How crazy are you?" 372 00:17:35,944 --> 00:17:38,345 I'm fine. My meds won't wear off till tonight. 373 00:17:38,379 --> 00:17:41,748 Then I'll have Freedom tear you to shreds. 374 00:17:41,783 --> 00:17:43,583 No offense, but when a crazy guy 375 00:17:43,618 --> 00:17:46,420 pretends to be crazy, it's not funny. 376 00:17:46,454 --> 00:17:48,088 You're discounting all talk radio. 377 00:17:57,899 --> 00:17:59,266 Excellent. 378 00:17:59,300 --> 00:18:02,002 Fly, my pet, fly! 379 00:18:02,036 --> 00:18:04,805 Yes! 380 00:18:04,839 --> 00:18:07,074 Yes, now back to Papa. 381 00:18:07,108 --> 00:18:08,442 Yes. 382 00:18:10,178 --> 00:18:12,346 Why am I not surprised the only sport you do 383 00:18:12,380 --> 00:18:14,915 is one where a bird brings you food? 384 00:18:14,949 --> 00:18:17,084 Um, a falcon's greatest joy 385 00:18:17,118 --> 00:18:18,452 is to serve its master. 386 00:18:18,486 --> 00:18:20,354 Fatso! 387 00:18:20,388 --> 00:18:21,855 Once again, I must point out 388 00:18:21,889 --> 00:18:23,223 that you are not a parrot. 389 00:18:23,257 --> 00:18:25,058 Fatso, fatso! Pees in the shower! 390 00:18:25,093 --> 00:18:27,260 Shut up. 391 00:18:30,131 --> 00:18:31,298 What are you doing? 392 00:18:31,332 --> 00:18:32,299 We're up next. 393 00:18:32,333 --> 00:18:33,533 When Freedom hits the air, 394 00:18:33,568 --> 00:18:35,268 you and I open all the cages. 395 00:18:35,303 --> 00:18:36,536 Um... 396 00:18:36,571 --> 00:18:38,138 with our minds? 397 00:18:38,172 --> 00:18:39,206 No. 398 00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:40,374 With this rope. 399 00:18:40,408 --> 00:18:41,508 I'm a messed-up kid. 400 00:18:41,542 --> 00:18:43,043 I'm not Magneto. 401 00:18:43,077 --> 00:18:45,112 Diggs and Freedom. 402 00:18:57,325 --> 00:18:58,458 "In his ecstasy. 403 00:18:58,493 --> 00:19:01,061 Then off, off forth on swing!" 404 00:19:01,095 --> 00:19:02,929 Where's my bird going? 405 00:19:02,964 --> 00:19:04,064 Wherever he wants. 406 00:19:04,098 --> 00:19:05,232 He's free now. 407 00:19:05,266 --> 00:19:07,534 If you see the stork what brings us babies, 408 00:19:07,568 --> 00:19:08,902 kill it! 409 00:19:10,638 --> 00:19:14,007 Now, Bart, I'm afraid one-day passes don't last forever. 410 00:19:14,042 --> 00:19:16,176 And I'm probably not going to get another one 411 00:19:16,210 --> 00:19:17,944 for quite a while. 412 00:19:17,979 --> 00:19:18,979 Wait! 413 00:19:19,013 --> 00:19:20,347 Wh-When will I see you? 414 00:19:20,381 --> 00:19:22,315 You can't quit the falconry club! 415 00:19:22,350 --> 00:19:24,151 It's all yours, Mr. President. 416 00:19:24,185 --> 00:19:26,420 Well, I guess some delicate birds 417 00:19:26,454 --> 00:19:28,755 are safer in a cage. 418 00:19:28,790 --> 00:19:30,891 I had thought of it as a therapeutic milieu, 419 00:19:30,925 --> 00:19:34,327 but now "cage" is stuck in my head, so thanks. 420 00:19:34,362 --> 00:19:36,930 And thanks for being my friend. 421 00:19:45,039 --> 00:19:47,607 Bart, when I pushed you away, 422 00:19:47,642 --> 00:19:51,011 I was really pushing away the thought of losing you. 423 00:19:51,045 --> 00:19:53,246 How long did it take you to think that up? 424 00:19:53,281 --> 00:19:55,148 Two hours with the therapist. 425 00:19:55,183 --> 00:19:56,316 I'll take that. 426 00:19:56,350 --> 00:19:57,984 She came in on a Saturday. 427 00:19:58,019 --> 00:20:00,420 Missed her kid's karate demonstration. 428 00:20:00,455 --> 00:20:01,755 He was going up a belt. 429 00:20:01,789 --> 00:20:02,989 Enough! 430 00:20:10,714 --> 00:20:12,782 Mom, you didn't cook the falcon? 431 00:20:12,816 --> 00:20:15,117 Of course not. It's just duck. 432 00:20:15,152 --> 00:20:16,786 Aw. Aw. 433 00:20:19,156 --> 00:20:20,623 Pass the peas, please. 434 00:20:20,657 --> 00:20:25,657 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 435 00:21:07,535 --> 00:21:09,536 Shh!