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辛普森家庭

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（歡迎蒞臨春田核電廠）

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（微痛牙醫）

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（春田小學）

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（我不該搧動人群）

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（注意安全）

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（《媽媽雜誌》小丑庫斯提麥片）

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（老莫小酒館）

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（公車站）

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花枝，花枝，妳還沒好嗎？

11
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怎麼回事？妳掉進馬桶裡了嗎？

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花枝

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-爸，抱歉了，女士和小孩優先
-搞什...

14
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我的鑰匙到底在哪裡？

15
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誰偷了我的鑰匙？

16
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-快點，我上班要遲到了
-噢，荷馬，如果頭和脖子可以分開

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我看你連頭都能搞丟

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-你找過客廳了嗎？
-客廳！對吼

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接近了，不，又變遠了

20
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越來越遠，非常遠

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-你知道我的鑰匙在哪裡嗎？
-不知道，我在說你和早餐的距離

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-你找過遊戲室了嗎？
-遊戲室？我去看看

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呃，爸

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-慘了
-噢，小荷荷

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拿去

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大家抱歉

27
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但我只有兩個杯子蛋糕可以給你們

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老媽，我們之中有人在過去30年來

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已經吃了夠多杯子蛋糕了

30
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-霸子！
-我的給你們吃吧

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小小的杯子蛋糕並不能讓我快樂起來

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-好欸
-太好了

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好的，同學們，從頭開始

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一、二、三，開始

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為妳，我的國家

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花枝

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花枝辛普森

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花枝，《為妳，我的國家》這首歌裡

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並沒有即興爵士樂伴奏

40
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拉戈先生，但是我們國家就是這樣啊

41
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妳說什麼？

42
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我在為了那些無家可歸
只能住在車裡的無殼蝸牛

43
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和愛荷華州那些被冷血的官僚

44
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強行徵收土地的農夫

45
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還有西維吉尼亞州
咳個不停的煤礦工人而哭泣...

46
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花枝，妳說得都對
但是那些討厭鬼

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並不會出席下週的演奏會

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現在，同學們，我們從頭來過

49
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五、六、七...

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每天中午鈴聲響起後

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我們就被趕到這裡集中餵食

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像牲口一樣擠在一起

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嚼著反芻的食物
恐懼著無法避免的...

54
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食物大戰

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花枝，快點，別傻坐在那邊

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快抓起義大利麵加入戰爭

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我不想加入

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花枝，我們現在正在打躲避球

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這項運動是要移動或閃躲

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-避免被球打到
-也就是說要躲避那顆球

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小姐，請妳告訴我為什麼

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妳一直站著不動而不躲開那些球呢？

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因為我心情不好

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心情不好所以不能打躲避球？

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妳太誇張了，好了，拿出妳們的熱情

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開始打球

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來吧，放馬過來！

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穿著紅色球褲的是

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48勝0敗績

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這個家的總冠軍

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戰神霸子辛普森

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好欸，上啊

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而穿著紫色球褲的是

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戰績0勝48敗

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更正，丟臉的48敗

76
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-全數一擊倒地...
-你一定要每場都這樣演嗎？

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荷馬“人肉沙包”辛普森

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（第一回合）

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可惡，這個爛搖桿！

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-三秒，破紀錄了
-不，我還沒輸...你！給我起來

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快點爬起來，好了，我們繼續

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喂，魯蛇，想繼續挨揍嗎？

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快點躲開，為什麼都閃不掉？

84
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等一下，我沒辦法...
快閃開啊，笨蛋

85
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-荷馬？
-美枝，不要吵我

86
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-快點離開角落
-學校寄通知來了

87
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你這小混蛋又做了什麼好事？
糟糕，快走開

88
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不是我，沒有人證
也沒有證據證明是我做的

89
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霸子，不是的，這張通知不是你的

90
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不是嗎？一定是哪裡搞錯了

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真的耶，是花枝的

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花枝？

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（家長通知書）

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花枝因為心情不好
而拒絕參與躲避球課

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她看起來還好啊

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感覺也不像難受想哭

97
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我沒辦法解釋給你聽

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老爸，你不懂

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小公主，我當然懂，我也會有感覺

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像是“我肚子痛”

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或是“我快要瘋了”

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過來讓爸比抱抱妳
跟我說說妳的心情

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我只是覺得一切都沒有意義

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我的存在與否
對這個世界沒有任何影響

105
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當世界上有這麼多可憐人正在受苦
我們怎麼還睡得著

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那個，我...呃...

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花枝，來吧！來騎荷馬囉

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駕！駕！

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花枝，親愛的，我們一起上樓

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讓我幫妳洗個舒服的熱水澡

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當我心情不好時這會讓我好過一點

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老爸，抱歉，我知道你是好意

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謝謝妳懂我

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天啊！小荷荷，看起來代誌大條了

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就是啊！對了，霸子，把灰塵吸一吸

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為什麼？我又沒做錯事

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多做家事對你有好處
快去吧，孩子

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臭荷馬以為自己有多了不起

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可惡，我一定要讓他好看
以為自己多行

120
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-洗得還開心嗎？
-不怎麼樣

121
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啊不就好可憐

122
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我吸地倒是吸得挺開心的

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說不定幫妳刷浴缸我還會更開心

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霸子果然還是老樣子

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只會想到他自己

126
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喂，妳不要對著說我的壞話

127
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但反正她站在我這邊

128
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-才不是，才不是
-就是，就是

129
00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:07,153
-才不是
-就是！

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看好了，我證明給妳看

131
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瑪格，快點過來妳最愛的葛格這邊

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瑪格，不要去，過來，來我這邊

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瑪格，快來呀！選我就對了

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瑪格不行，不要被表象騙了

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內在才重要

136
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瑪格，算了，去找霸子吧

137
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沒錯，快來找妳最愛的葛格

138
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不要！加油，不要被...快閃開...

139
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噢不，又來了

140
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快點用力...不！

141
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天啊，老爸，你技術真的很爛欸

142
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:04,210
才沒有，我只是...

143
00:09:04,418 --> 00:09:06,462
因為那個煩人的噪音讓我無法專心

144
00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:08,422
花枝、花枝

145
00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:17,056
花枝，我之前不是跟妳說過

146
00:09:17,181 --> 00:09:18,808
不要在家裡吹這個薩什麼東東的？

147
00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:22,270
爸，我只是在練習藍調音樂

148
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花枝，對不起，我不是故意要吼妳的

149
00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:31,445
妳想練就練吧，只要妳開心

150
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爸，不用了，沒關係

151
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我可以練習指法就好

152
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除非連按鍵的聲音都會吵到你

153
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我們來聽聽看

154
00:09:45,793 --> 00:09:48,337
小麗，妳想按多大聲就按多大聲

155
00:09:59,473 --> 00:10:01,225
我必須要知道那音樂是從哪來的

156
00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:23,372
真是太美妙了，這首歌叫什麼？

157
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,708
只是隨便吹的小曲，我命名為...

158
00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:28,794
《我從來沒穿過義大利西裝藍調》

159
00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:37,803
美枝，等一等

160
00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:42,016
一定要記得面帶微笑踏出家門

161
00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:44,727
因為妳笑得越開心越幸福

162
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人家才知道妳有個多好的媽咪

163
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:00,660
搞什麼...

164
00:11:02,870 --> 00:11:04,288
小荷荷，看招

165
00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:07,958
霸子，別太兇狠，我是你爸

166
00:11:08,209 --> 00:11:12,296
我已經很放水了
但你真的又老，又慢...

167
00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:14,632
又弱，又沒用

168
00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:18,386
不，霸子，不要！

169
00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:27,353
荷馬，醒來，快醒醒

170
00:11:27,436 --> 00:11:30,022
-我是誰？我在哪？
-噢，天啊

171
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:32,525
來，我幫你擦一下口水

172
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:35,903
美枝，妳知道嗎？變老真是太糟了

173
00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:37,863
我覺得我人生中最悲哀的一天

174
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:40,783
就是當我發現我能輕鬆贏過我爸

175
00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:43,035
而霸子在四歲的時候就做到了

176
00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:45,454
妳怎麼這麼晚還不睡？

177
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:48,416
我還在想花枝究竟在困擾些什麼

178
00:11:48,999 --> 00:11:50,209
我也想不通

179
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:53,421
霸子很難搞，瑪格又需要隨時注意

180
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:56,382
但不知不覺中花枝也長大了

181
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,384
哦，我懂了

182
00:11:58,634 --> 00:12:00,302
應該是青春期的煩惱

183
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:03,639
可能吧，晚安，荷馬

184
00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:11,355
不對，不對，是低音降B調

185
00:12:15,317 --> 00:12:18,320
好，花枝，接著來段高音

186
00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:25,286
很好，非常好

187
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,455
我有一次吹高音差點吹到斷氣

188
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:28,831
墨菲先生，謝謝你

189
00:12:28,956 --> 00:12:31,083
我朋友都叫我“爛牙墨菲”

190
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:33,127
噁，他們為什麼這樣叫你啊？

191
00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:36,547
我想想看該怎麼解釋
妳去看過牙醫嗎？

192
00:12:36,630 --> 00:12:37,798
-有啊
-我從來沒去過

193
00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:39,884
我知道我該找時間去看一下

194
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:42,428
但我的人生已經夠痛苦了

195
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,346
我也有我的煩惱

196
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:45,890
孩子，這我幫不上忙

197
00:12:46,098 --> 00:12:49,518
我只是個情感豐沛的靈魂樂手

198
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,062
-但我能和妳一起合奏
-好啊

199
00:13:04,533 --> 00:13:05,743
噢，我真的很寂寞

200
00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:08,454
因為我的愛人離開了我

201
00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:11,165
口袋裡什麼也沒有

202
00:13:12,708 --> 00:13:13,834
簡直難以過活

203
00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:17,171
噢，人生充滿孤寂

204
00:13:18,255 --> 00:13:19,840
從我出生那一天起

205
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:22,510
只有薩克斯風這個老夥計

206
00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:25,596
始終對我不離不棄

207
00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:28,557
我弟弟真的很頑皮

208
00:13:29,266 --> 00:13:30,935
每天都跟我過不去

209
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,854
今天早上我的親生母親

210
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:37,316
還把我的蛋糕給了出去

211
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:40,236
我爸野蠻又粗魯無比

212
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,696
根本該關進動物園裡

213
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:45,866
我簡直慘到可以

214
00:13:46,283 --> 00:13:49,578
在所有二年級小孩裡

215
00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:57,336
對於一個無病呻吟的小屁孩來說

216
00:13:57,419 --> 00:13:59,296
妳真的吹得很好

217
00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:01,757
我的心情還是沒有比較好

218
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:04,009
藍調本來就不是要讓人開心的

219
00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:06,428
而是要讓人越聽心情越糟的

220
00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:08,639
順便在演奏的時候賺點小錢

221
00:14:08,764 --> 00:14:11,183
說到這個，如果妳以後再來這附近

222
00:14:11,308 --> 00:14:13,894
我固定會在一個叫
“爵士混蛋”的俱樂部表演

223
00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:16,522
花枝，離那個人遠一點

224
00:14:16,605 --> 00:14:18,816
-但是媽，我還不想回去
-走了，快點

225
00:14:18,899 --> 00:14:20,150
我們都快擔心死了

226
00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:22,820
這不是針對你
我只是對陌生人比較緊張

227
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:46,218
今日大火在春田市中心延燒
摧毀了交響音樂廳

228
00:14:46,343 --> 00:14:49,471
春田自然史博物館、春田藝術中心

229
00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:51,765
-以及巴尼保齡球館
-不！

230
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:52,892
官方證實...

231
00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:55,394
糟了，美枝

232
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:58,689
-美枝，妳還好嗎？
-不好，我很不開心

233
00:14:58,772 --> 00:15:01,942
那妳應該已經聽到壞消息了
天啊，我們該怎麼辦呢？

234
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:04,403
球道是有點歪斜，但他們的食物...

235
00:15:04,486 --> 00:15:06,739
-我很擔心花枝
-哦，我也是

236
00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:08,574
加一，你們在說什麼？

237
00:15:08,657 --> 00:15:11,869
-霸子
-你覺得你

238
00:15:11,952 --> 00:15:14,246
-有好好對待姊姊嗎？霸子
-有啊，那當然

239
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:16,206
你很愛她，對嗎？

240
00:15:16,373 --> 00:15:18,751
-噢，媽
-是吧，沒錯吧？

241
00:15:18,834 --> 00:15:23,505
不要逼我說出口
天知地知妳知我知

242
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:24,673
這樣不就好了？

243
00:15:24,798 --> 00:15:27,092
好吧，霸子，你不用說出來

244
00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:29,386
但你要把愛表現出來

245
00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:31,722
對你姊好一點

246
00:15:32,139 --> 00:15:34,308
-賀啦
-霸子，去吧

247
00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:35,851
現在就去做

248
00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:41,231
-嗨，老姊
-我不需要你可憐我

249
00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:43,484
-幹嘛這樣，我會讓妳心情好起來
-你要怎麼做？

250
00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:47,112
喂，老莫小酒館，我是老莫

251
00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:49,031
-“酷庫”在嗎？
-誰？

252
00:15:49,156 --> 00:15:50,991
“酷庫”，姓“蕭”

253
00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:52,826
呃，等等

254
00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:55,579
“蕭酷庫”？

255
00:15:55,871 --> 00:15:58,040
大家，這裡有人叫“蕭酷庫”嗎？

256
00:16:00,417 --> 00:16:01,293
笑什麼？

257
00:16:02,127 --> 00:16:04,713
等一下，小褲褲？

258
00:16:04,838 --> 00:16:07,967
是你對吧？你這個沒用的小廢物

259
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:09,635
你就不要讓我抓到

260
00:16:09,718 --> 00:16:12,137
我一定把你揍到連你爸都認不出來

261
00:16:15,265 --> 00:16:16,934
妳怎麼一點幽默感也沒有？

262
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,980
花枝，妳樂隊練習要遲到了

263
00:16:21,105 --> 00:16:21,981
我們趕快出發吧

264
00:16:23,732 --> 00:16:25,401
（吵死人電子遊樂場）

265
00:16:35,619 --> 00:16:40,374
我想換一些零錢，我要去自助洗衣

266
00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:41,667
最好是

267
00:16:47,339 --> 00:16:49,758
-拳擊遊戲機在哪？
-在那邊的角落

268
00:16:49,925 --> 00:16:52,553
但我建議你還是
乖乖用那些零錢去洗衣服比較好

269
00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:54,096
就你最聰明

270
00:16:58,058 --> 00:16:59,768
哇，那個小孩很厲害

271
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,187
厲害？豈止是厲害？
他才投了一次錢

272
00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:04,106
打了兩千多場都沒輸過

273
00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:06,316
好了，下一個誰要挑戰？

274
00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:09,445
-我，我，我，選我
-不，不行，是我

275
00:17:09,611 --> 00:17:11,739
聽著，你可以教我
怎樣才能和你一樣強嗎？

276
00:17:11,905 --> 00:17:13,157
-可能沒辦法
-噢，拜託

277
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,492
不然這樣好了
如果你學狗叫幾聲我就教你

278
00:17:15,659 --> 00:17:16,660
你這個小混...

279
00:17:19,747 --> 00:17:21,999
我就大發慈悲地教教你吧，小八

280
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:28,797
阿北，看起來你的零錢都用完了

281
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:29,923
沒關係

282
00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:31,175
你教了我這麼多，我有信心

283
00:17:31,258 --> 00:17:36,263
今晚我一定可以
狠狠教訓一頓那個小壞蛋

284
00:17:37,097 --> 00:17:40,392
浩威，我是不是說過不准再浪費錢

285
00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:41,351
在這種沒用的事情上

286
00:17:41,435 --> 00:17:45,064
-老媽，對不起
-還有你，都幾歲的人了

287
00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:47,441
丟不丟臉啊

288
00:17:47,983 --> 00:17:50,569
不好意思，我老婆在叫我了

289
00:18:00,287 --> 00:18:03,248
花枝，聽著
我接下來要說的事很重要

290
00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:05,542
我希望妳今天一整天都面帶微笑

291
00:18:06,043 --> 00:18:07,586
但我不開心不想笑

292
00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:11,173
妳內心怎麼想的並不重要，知道嗎？

293
00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:13,967
妳的表情說明了一切，那才重要

294
00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:15,511
外婆也是這樣教我的

295
00:18:15,719 --> 00:18:18,388
把所有不開心的情緒都吞下去

296
00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:20,933
一直壓到內心最深處

297
00:18:21,016 --> 00:18:23,018
直到妳幾乎什麼都感覺不到為止

298
00:18:23,393 --> 00:18:26,897
然後妳就能融入大家
會被邀請參加派對

299
00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:30,567
男生們也會喜歡妳
從此妳就可以過著幸福快樂的日子

300
00:18:31,151 --> 00:18:33,779
試試看，妳可以做得更好

301
00:18:35,155 --> 00:18:37,366
這才是我的乖女兒

302
00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:39,785
我覺得我已經變得更受歡迎了

303
00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:45,415
-嘿，妳笑起來很好看
-謝了

304
00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:48,836
喂，你幹嘛跟她講話？
她等一下又要說一些奇怪的話了

305
00:18:49,169 --> 00:18:51,421
-才不會
-妳知道嗎？我以前覺得

306
00:18:51,588 --> 00:18:55,467
妳是那種超聰明的怪咖
但現在感覺好像也還好

307
00:18:55,717 --> 00:18:57,511
-是哦
-對了，今天練習完之後

308
00:18:57,594 --> 00:19:00,180
要不要來我家？妳可以幫我做作業

309
00:19:00,430 --> 00:19:01,431
好啊

310
00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:04,768
五分鐘，同學們，準備進去了

311
00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:07,104
辛普森小姐，我希望妳今天

312
00:19:07,187 --> 00:19:10,440
不要再像昨天一樣失控地...
即興發揮了

313
00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:12,901
老師，不會了

314
00:19:19,741 --> 00:19:20,868
哇！媽

315
00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:23,453
哦，看來是跟她媽媽學的

316
00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:30,294
花枝，我要向妳道歉，是我錯了
我收回我的話，妳盡管做自己

317
00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:32,504
妳覺得不開心，那就不用開心

318
00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:34,089
我們會陪妳一起走出來

319
00:19:34,381 --> 00:19:36,842
等到妳覺得不難過了

320
00:19:36,925 --> 00:19:38,552
我們一直都在

321
00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:39,970
從現在開始

322
00:19:40,053 --> 00:19:42,598
就讓我連同妳的份一起微笑

323
00:19:42,806 --> 00:19:43,807
好的，媽媽

324
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:47,311
花枝，妳可以不用勉強自己微笑了

325
00:19:47,477 --> 00:19:48,979
我覺得很開心想微笑

326
00:19:50,939 --> 00:19:53,859
我要再一次揍爆你，然後到此為止

327
00:19:53,942 --> 00:19:55,402
我開始覺得無聊了

328
00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:57,446
兒子，拜託你手下留情

329
00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,448
（第一回合）

330
00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:05,078
-哇！
-屁孩，今晚就是你的死期

331
00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:07,539
好啊！臭老頭，你自找的
我不會再放水了

332
00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:10,125
啊哈！我擋，打不到

333
00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:15,214
-噢！
-吃我一拳

334
00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:17,216
想都別想，我看透你了

335
00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:19,009
觀眾們全都激動不已

336
00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:22,804
-想要看龍捲風荷馬痛宰對手
-男生們，我有話要說

337
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,640
美枝，閉嘴！現在是關鍵時刻

338
00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:26,767
霸子“血肉模糊”辛普森快要完蛋了

339
00:20:26,975 --> 00:20:28,894
他現在只能默默祈禱
快點從痛苦中解脫

340
00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:31,897
霸子，你很幸運
看我的右鉤拳

341
00:20:32,856 --> 00:20:33,732
噢，不！

342
00:20:35,525 --> 00:20:37,861
我的比賽，我的比賽

343
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:39,613
我就快要贏過這小子了

344
00:20:39,821 --> 00:20:42,866
美枝，妳怎麼能這樣？就差這麼一點

345
00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:46,536
對不起了，但這件事
比那個又蠢又吵的比賽重要多了

346
00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:50,165
嗎，妳說得對
我要趁這個機會宣布

347
00:20:50,290 --> 00:20:52,584
以全勝的戰績從電子拳擊遊戲界引退

348
00:20:53,877 --> 00:20:55,629
荷馬，冷靜一點

349
00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:59,174
花枝說她有個有趣的活動
希望我們全家人可以一起參加

350
00:21:00,968 --> 00:21:03,804
下一首歌是我的朋友寫的

351
00:21:04,179 --> 00:21:07,140
一位優秀的爵士小姑娘

352
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,703
我弟弟真的有夠頑皮

353
00:21:29,246 --> 00:21:31,290
每天都跟我過不去

354
00:21:33,208 --> 00:21:35,585
今天早上我的親生母親

355
00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:39,089
還把我的蛋糕給了出去

356
00:21:40,841 --> 00:21:43,844
我爸野蠻又粗魯無比

357
00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:46,888
根本該關進動物園裡

358
00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:48,098
什麼？

359
00:21:48,390 --> 00:21:51,059
我簡直慘到可以

360
00:21:51,393 --> 00:21:54,938
在所有二年級小孩裡