1
00:00:02,085 --> 00:00:05,922
♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
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(Bart humming)
Whoops.
3
00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:21,938
Whoops.
Whoops!
4
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:25,483
This is gonna be the best birthday breakfast
Mom every had.
5
00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:26,985
Hey, Lis. You think that's
enough for her?
6
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-Maybe one more.
-(ding)
7
00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:31,114
I hope she likes
the presents we got her.
8
00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:32,657
Well, I know
she'll like mine.
9
00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:34,701
Who wouldn't like a bottle
of real French perfume
10
00:00:34,784 --> 00:00:36,578
all the way from gay Paree?
11
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Four bucks, plus tax.
12
00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:39,664
Well, I think she's
going to like
13
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my handmade
birthday card better.
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Oh, big deal.
15
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Dry macaroni, spray paint
and glue. Whoopie.
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(whistles)
17
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(whirring)
18
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Dibs. First dibs.
I get to lick the beaters.
19
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Ow! Ow! Ow!
20
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Litha, my "ongue" is "uck"
in the "eaters." My "ongue"!
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(snoring)
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BOTH:
Happy birthday!
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(screams)
Huh? What?
24
00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:11,863
-Here's your birthday breakfast.
-Oh!
25
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-(yawning)
-Well, isn't this nice?
26
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-My birthday?
-No!
27
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It's my birthday?
28
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What did I get?
I love birthdays.
29
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No, Homer, it's mine.
30
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You don't even know
your own wife's birthday?
31
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Well, of course I know.
Sure.
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You really thought
I forgot, didn't you?
33
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Oh, right.
What did you get her, Dad?
34
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Yeah, what did you get?
35
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:35,887
Uh, well,
a very thoughtful gift.
36
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But it's a surprise.
(stretches)
37
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You know, it's such
a beautiful morning,
38
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I think I'll take a little stroll
around the block.
39
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-(footsteps accelerate)
-(door opens, closes)
40
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(car starts,
drives away)
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-I think he forgot, Mom.
-Mm-hmm.
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(tires screeching)
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Oh, no. Come on.
Come on. Open up!
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Good morning, consumers.
45
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The Springfield Mall
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00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:03,706
is now open
for your spending needs.
47
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Hmm? Uh... no.
48
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(mumbling)
Too salty.
49
00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:13,424
Um... nah.
50
00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:15,426
Hmm? Nah, too corny.
51
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(humming)
Too exciting.
52
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Patty, he's out buying me
something right now.
53
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Oh, Marge. He never gets you
anything you want.
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He always gets something
for himself.
55
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The tackle box.
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Remember when he got you
the tackle box?
57
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And Connie Chung.
58
00:02:30,775 --> 00:02:34,028
And when he surprised you
with the Connie Chung calendar?
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I'm sure he doesn't
do it deliberately.
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Hmm. Hmm!
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Well, Homer and I had
a lovely dining experience
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at Chez Pierre.
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Or the Rusty Barnacle
is nice.
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PATTY: No, no, no.
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We wanna take you
someplace fun--
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The Singing Sirloin.
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(groans)
The place where the waiters sing.
68
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-Homer?
-Be right there.
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(grunts, whistling)
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Homer, we're
having dinner tonight
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at The Singing Sirloin.
72
00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:08,438
That sounds delightful.
73
00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:10,815
Just you and me
and the balladeers.
74
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-And the kids.
-Fair enough.
75
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-And my sisters.
-Doh!
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♪♪ (harmonica,
waiters singing scales)
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♪ How we danced on
the night we were wed ♪
78
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♪ Havin' my baby ♪
79
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♪ What a lovely way to say
how much you love me ♪
80
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♪ Nearer my God to thee ♪
81
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♪ Nearer to thee ♪
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Oh, perfume!
83
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(sniffs) Whoa! Hmm.
Thank you, Bart.
84
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-You're welcome, Mom.
-34 years old.
85
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Time enough to start over
with a new man.
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-Someone who eats with his mouth shut.
-What's that, Patty?
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Nothing. Finish your steak.
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-Look at him wolf down that gristle.
-Mm-hmm.
89
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,866
SELMA: It's an accident
waiting to happen.
90
00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:03,868
Do you know
the Heimlich Maneuver?
91
00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:05,912
-No.
-Good.
92
00:04:08,539 --> 00:04:10,458
I think she likes
my present better.
93
00:04:10,541 --> 00:04:12,502
-Does not. Does not. Does not.
-Does too. Does too.
94
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:15,296
Then how come she's not putting on
any of your perfume?
95
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,382
Yeah.
Hey, Mom.
96
00:04:17,465 --> 00:04:20,093
How come you're
not putting on any of my perfume?
97
00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:22,595
Mm.
(clears throat)
98
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:25,932
Well, I'm saving it
for a special occasion.
99
00:04:26,015 --> 00:04:28,226
What the hell are you talking about?
There's gallons of it!
100
00:04:28,309 --> 00:04:31,354
-Bart!
-But this occasion is already so special.
101
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If we made it any more special,
102
00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:35,483
we might end up
making it less special.
103
00:04:35,566 --> 00:04:38,361
-Gotcha. Told ya she liked mine better.
-Oh, brother!
104
00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:40,571
Hold on.
Hold on now.
105
00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:43,783
Your mother hasn't opened
my present yet.
106
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♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
107
00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:48,579
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
108
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♪ Happy 34th birthday,
Mrs. Homer Simpson ♪
109
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♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
110
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Oh. Don't worry.
111
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This frosting
will come right off.
112
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Beauty, isn't she?
113
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It's hard for me to judge
114
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since I've never bowled
in my life!
115
00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:14,147
Well, if you don't want it,
I know someone who does.
116
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(grunts)
117
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HOMER: You always say
we should talk.
118
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I'm talking right now,
as a matter of fact.
119
00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:27,368
But I'm going to stop
in a second,
120
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so please, say something back,
Marge, please?
121
00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:32,290
I'm gonna stop talking...
now.
122
00:05:32,373 --> 00:05:35,793
You bought that bowling ball
for you, not for me.
123
00:05:35,877 --> 00:05:37,045
What? No.
124
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The holes were drilled
for your fingers.
125
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I wanted to surprise you.
126
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I couldn't very well
chop your hand off
127
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and bring it to the store,
could I?
128
00:05:43,801 --> 00:05:45,928
You never intended for me
to use that ball.
129
00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:47,972
Well, if that's how you feel,
I'll take it back.
130
00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:50,641
You can't take it back.
You had your name engraved on it!
131
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-So you'd know it's from me!
-Homer,
132
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I'm keeping the ball...
for myself!
133
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What? But you don't
know how to bowl. Oops.
134
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:01,444
I'm keeping it,
and I'm going to use it.
135
00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:04,113
Thank you
for the present, Homer.
136
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:06,616
Well... you're...
welcome.
137
00:06:08,826 --> 00:06:11,996
(bowling pins clattering)
138
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:17,085
Excuse me.
Where do I throw this?
139
00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:19,087
-Over there.
-Thank you.
140
00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:21,631
-Wait a minute. You're gonna need a lane.
-No, thanks.
141
00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:24,092
-I'm here out of spite.
-Can't bowl without a lane.
142
00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:27,011
-Well, all right.
-Okay. Here you go.
143
00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,429
You keep score on this.
144
00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:30,556
-What size shoes you wear?
-Never you mind.
145
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,558
You can't wear
street shoes on the lanes.
146
00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:33,726
You gotta wear
bowling shoes.
147
00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:35,186
What size, please?
148
00:06:35,269 --> 00:06:37,438
-13 double "A."
-13 double "A"?
149
00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:40,775
(whistles)
This is the closest I've got.
150
00:06:40,858 --> 00:06:42,819
A nine and a fifteen.
151
00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:44,695
Thank you.
Hmm.
152
00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:49,117
A little warm and moist.
153
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,160
Ugh!
154
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:54,205
Hmm.
155
00:06:59,293 --> 00:07:01,879
Hmm.
156
00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:06,467
(women cheering)
157
00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:10,596
So, 120 pins later,
I am the better man.
158
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:16,561
I don't see what he's doing
159
00:07:16,644 --> 00:07:18,396
that's so different
from what I'm doing.
160
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Hmm.
(grunts)
161
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:25,445
Oh!
162
00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:27,447
I'm--
I'm awfully sorry.
163
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Entirely my fault.
164
00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:31,576
It is nice
to meet you,
165
00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:34,036
Homer.
166
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,455
Oh, no, no.
167
00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:37,915
Homer's my... ball's name.
168
00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:41,169
-I'm Marge.
-(chuckles)
169
00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:47,425
Your fingers are so slender,
so feminine.
170
00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:49,635
They're far too tapered
for the ball you're using.
171
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:53,055
You need something lighter.
More delicate.
172
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:55,057
Here.
Use my ball.
173
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:58,186
No. No, thank you,
Mr., um, Brunswick.
174
00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:00,646
-Call me Jacques.
-Jacques.
175
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:04,442
-Marge.
-I'll just use my ball.
176
00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:06,110
As you wish.
177
00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:07,820
Many people have
senseless attachments
178
00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:09,614
to heavy, clumsy things,
179
00:08:09,697 --> 00:08:11,616
such as this Homer
of yours.
180
00:08:11,699 --> 00:08:14,827
-Hmm.
-May I ask you a bold question?
181
00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:17,121
-Sure.
-You've never bowled before.
182
00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:18,831
-Never. No.
-No.
183
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:20,875
Then I will teach you.
184
00:08:20,958 --> 00:08:22,585
I don't wanna trouble you.
185
00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:24,295
Not at all.
I am a professional.
186
00:08:24,378 --> 00:08:26,839
Roll the ball for me, Marge.
Let me see your form.
187
00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:29,383
All right.
But I'm not very good.
188
00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:30,593
(grunts)
189
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:34,764
I can hit that one pin
all right,
190
00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:36,474
but the rest of them
don't even wobble.
191
00:08:36,557 --> 00:08:38,726
I can help you, Marge.
Pick up the ball.
192
00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:41,103
Pick up Homer.
Pick him up.
193
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:43,105
Oh!
194
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:44,899
-Now throw.
-But--
195
00:08:44,982 --> 00:08:47,068
Throw, damn you.
196
00:08:47,151 --> 00:08:48,194
(grunts)
197
00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:54,075
You're
a very good teacher.
198
00:08:54,158 --> 00:08:56,702
Yes, I am a very good teacher,
and I can teach you everything.
199
00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:59,789
I can tell you what the little arrows
on the wood floor mean,
200
00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:01,916
which frame
is the beer frame.
201
00:09:01,999 --> 00:09:03,960
I bet you don't know how to make
a five-seven-ten split.
202
00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:06,254
-Do you, Marge?
-No.
203
00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:09,006
But first of all, you yell,
"The eight-pin is a cop."
204
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:11,676
-(laughing)
-Let it out, Marge. Laugh loud.
205
00:09:11,759 --> 00:09:14,136
Laugh out loud.
You'll lose weight.
206
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,180
-Oh, that's very funny.
-Feels good.
207
00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:18,724
I didn't realize there was
so much to this game.
208
00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:20,726
What do you charge
for lessons?
209
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:23,312
-Twenty-five dollars.
-Twenty-five dollars!
210
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,940
It's a $40 value.
211
00:09:26,023 --> 00:09:27,984
Well, all right.
When do we start?
212
00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:30,152
We have already begun.
213
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:35,408
Now this is living, eh, kids?
214
00:09:35,491 --> 00:09:38,619
Hot pizza--
the food of kings.
215
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:39,996
Don't be scared, Dad.
216
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:41,622
It's not so hard
takin' care of us.
217
00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:43,958
(laughs)
Lisa, I'm not scared.
218
00:09:44,041 --> 00:09:46,627
I think it's a great chance
to spend some time with you kids.
219
00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:48,254
Your mother always gets
to be alone with you,
220
00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:49,380
and now it's my turn.
221
00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:54,802
Does the time
always drag like this?
222
00:09:54,885 --> 00:09:58,514
First, you must get
to know your lane.
223
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:02,310
Feel the slickness.
Feel the satiny finish.
224
00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:05,146
Caress it.
Experience it.
225
00:10:05,229 --> 00:10:07,315
-Quite smooth, isn't it, Marge?
-Ooh, very smooth.
226
00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:09,442
-Smooth? Yes?
-Yes, very. Yes.
227
00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:12,153
-Yes. Smooth? Yes.
-Smooth. Yes.
228
00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:15,031
You could eat off of it.
You hungry?
229
00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:17,450
-Yes.
-Four onion rings!
230
00:10:17,533 --> 00:10:19,869
Mmm. Delicioso!
231
00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:21,579
My compliments
to the delivery boy.
232
00:10:21,662 --> 00:10:23,581
Okay. We've eaten
and eaten well.
233
00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:25,958
What else do we have to do?
234
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:27,835
Let's check the list
your mom left us.
235
00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:31,005
Eat. Mm-hmm.
Oh, clean up.
236
00:10:31,088 --> 00:10:32,298
Don't worry, everybody.
237
00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:34,592
This will be a breeze
if we all pitch in.
238
00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:41,474
All right!
We're clean!
239
00:10:41,557 --> 00:10:46,187
Now we'll...
put Maggie to bed.
240
00:10:46,270 --> 00:10:49,357
♪ Lullaby
and good night ♪
241
00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:52,109
♪ Go to bed
and sleep tight ♪
242
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:55,571
♪ Close your eyes,
start to yawn ♪
243
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:58,658
♪ Pleasant dreams
until the dawn ♪♪
244
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:01,744
(yawns)
245
00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:04,330
(snoring)
246
00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:09,377
-Homer. Homer?
-Huh? Huh?
247
00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:12,129
Oh, how was bowling?
248
00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:14,256
It's a very
challenging hobby.
249
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:17,218
Sport, dear. It's a sport,
you silly thing.
250
00:11:17,301 --> 00:11:18,886
Mm-hmm.
251
00:11:18,969 --> 00:11:21,555
But I think I'll do
much better tomorrow night.
252
00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:22,723
Oh?
253
00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:24,475
You're going back?
254
00:11:24,558 --> 00:11:25,685
Well, sure.
If you don't mind
255
00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:27,770
taking care
of the kids again.
256
00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:30,523
Uh, no.
I don't mind.
257
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:32,525
Good night, Homer.
258
00:11:32,608 --> 00:11:34,527
Good night.
259
00:11:36,153 --> 00:11:39,281
-It is for you.
-Oh, Jacques, it fits.
260
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:42,493
You got it in my size,
and it has my name on it.
261
00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:44,495
It's really for me.
262
00:11:44,578 --> 00:11:48,165
Seventeen-fifty.
Enjoy it, my darling.
263
00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:56,298
Hmm!
264
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:17,737
(clattering)
265
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:19,905
(humming)
Here we are.
266
00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:21,657
You didn't have
to drop me off.
267
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,075
But I wanted to.
268
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:25,745
Marge, do you know
how beautiful you look
269
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:27,121
in the moonlight?
270
00:12:27,204 --> 00:12:29,915
Oh, Jacques.
I'm a married woman.
271
00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:31,917
I know. I know.
272
00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:33,878
My mind says, "Stop,"
but my heart...
273
00:12:33,961 --> 00:12:36,088
and my hips cry, "Proceed."
274
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:37,590
(groaning)
275
00:12:37,673 --> 00:12:39,633
Marge, darling,
I want to see you tomorrow.
276
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,260
Not at Barney's Bowlarama.
277
00:12:41,343 --> 00:12:44,722
Away from the thunderous
folly of clattering pins.
278
00:12:44,805 --> 00:12:47,224
-Meet me tomorrow for brunch.
-What's brunch?
279
00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:48,642
You'd love it.
It's not quite breakfast,
280
00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:50,478
it's not quite lunch,
281
00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:53,230
but it comes with a slice
of cantaloupe at the end.
282
00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:55,566
You don't get completely
what you would at breakfast,
283
00:12:55,649 --> 00:12:57,026
but you get a good meal.
284
00:12:57,109 --> 00:13:00,154
-I don't think so.
-Marge, darling...
285
00:13:00,237 --> 00:13:02,990
there are ten pins
in my heart.
286
00:13:03,073 --> 00:13:04,992
You've knocked over eight.
287
00:13:05,075 --> 00:13:07,495
Won't you please
pick up that spare?
288
00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:11,749
Mm. Mm.
All right!
289
00:13:18,255 --> 00:13:20,633
-Marge?
-What, Homer?
290
00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:23,928
Nothing.
291
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:34,814
-(horn honks)
-BART: Uh-oh. School bus.
292
00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:38,067
Here you go, kids.
Special lunches.
293
00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:40,069
Lots of good things
for growing bodies,
294
00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:42,071
and some treats
just for fun.
295
00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:43,739
Ay, caramba!
296
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,533
Are you going bowling
again tonight, Mom?
297
00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:47,743
Well, yes, I am,
as a matter of fact.
298
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,912
Here's more treats.
299
00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:51,831
But don't worry,
your dad will take care of dinner.
300
00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:54,208
Mmm, Wednesday.
Hoagie night.
301
00:13:56,252 --> 00:14:00,881
Good-bye, Lisa.
My darling little Lisa.
302
00:14:02,591 --> 00:14:05,678
Good-bye, Bart.
My special little guy.
303
00:14:07,596 --> 00:14:09,849
Mmm!
Great lunches, eh, Lis?
304
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:11,559
Oh, Bart, don't you see?
305
00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:14,812
This is what psychologists
call overcompensation.
306
00:14:14,895 --> 00:14:16,522
Mom is wracked with guilt
307
00:14:16,605 --> 00:14:18,023
because her marriage
is failing.
308
00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:20,025
Hey, don't
rock the boat, man.
309
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:22,152
Whatever it is,
we're making out like bandits.
310
00:14:22,236 --> 00:14:24,363
Bart, I read about
what happens to kids
311
00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:26,740
whose parents no longer love
and cherish each other.
312
00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:29,326
They go through
eight separate stages.
313
00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:32,371
Right now,
I'm in stage three, fear.
314
00:14:32,454 --> 00:14:34,373
You're in stage two,
denial.
315
00:14:34,456 --> 00:14:36,375
-No, I'm not.
-Yes, you are.
316
00:14:36,458 --> 00:14:38,377
-No, I'm not.
-Yes, you are.
317
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:41,338
-I'm not. I'm not. Am not!
-I stand corrected.
318
00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:46,635
-Mimosa?
-I'm a married woman.
319
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,429
Please,
don't call me that.
320
00:14:48,512 --> 00:14:50,431
(laughs)
No, no, no, no, no.
321
00:14:50,514 --> 00:14:52,433
Mimosa is the name
of the drink.
322
00:14:52,516 --> 00:14:54,435
It's orange juice
and champagne.
323
00:14:54,518 --> 00:14:55,936
You're so wonderful
324
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:58,439
that you thought it was
something offensive.
325
00:14:58,522 --> 00:15:00,774
Oh, well, thank you.
326
00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:03,444
WOMAN: Marge?
Marge Simpson.
327
00:15:03,527 --> 00:15:05,070
You remember me,
don't you?
328
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:06,280
I'm Helen Lovejoy,
329
00:15:06,363 --> 00:15:07,698
the gossipy wife
of the minister.
330
00:15:07,781 --> 00:15:09,283
Oh, yes.
Hello, Helen.
331
00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:11,535
I had just finished eating
and was about to leave
332
00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:13,871
when I looked over this way
and said to myself,
333
00:15:13,954 --> 00:15:15,581
"Why, isn't that
Marge Simpson over there
334
00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:18,500
having brunch with a man
who isn't her husband?"
335
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:21,295
And I just had to come over
and say hello.
336
00:15:21,378 --> 00:15:23,756
-We're, um--
-Oh, don't squirm on my account.
337
00:15:23,839 --> 00:15:26,467
I am giving her a bowling lesson,
thank you.
338
00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:31,430
Now, Marge, the pins on
the three-seven-ten split would be here.
339
00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:33,933
We'll make this little piece
of food the ball.
340
00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:35,935
The ball's bigger.
You know that.
341
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:37,561
But for food,
this is a good ball.
342
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,897
Oh, well, bye-bye.
343
00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:41,857
See you in church
on Sunday, Marge.
344
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:42,983
Good-bye, Helen.
345
00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:45,110
Good-bye, Helen.
346
00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:47,112
You have
a lovely friend there.
347
00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:49,239
-(groans)
-Let's hope something runs over her.
348
00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:51,241
(laughs)
349
00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:53,243
Your laughter
is like music to me.
350
00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:55,871
But if you laugh at what I say next,
I will die,
351
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,873
for I am about to say
something very serious,
352
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,875
perhaps shocking.
353
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,001
Marge, my darling,
354
00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:03,545
I want you to meet
with me again.
355
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:06,548
-That doesn't shock me.
-Away from prying eyes,
356
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:09,593
away from the Helens
of the world,
357
00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:12,888
at my apartment--
the Fiesta Terrace.
358
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,974
(gasps)
359
00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:19,979
(doorbell rings)
360
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:27,528
I've been waiting for you.
Come in, my captivating one.
361
00:16:27,611 --> 00:16:30,656
May I have this dance?
362
00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:32,658
Sure.
363
00:16:32,741 --> 00:16:34,660
♪♪ (Ballroom)
364
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:44,336
Whoa!
365
00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:51,385
You certainly have a lot
of bowling trophies.
366
00:16:51,468 --> 00:16:53,846
(laughs)
I like you so much.
367
00:16:53,929 --> 00:16:55,931
They're not for bowling, Marge.
368
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:58,851
You're so naive.
They are for lovemaking.
369
00:16:58,934 --> 00:17:01,186
-Really?
-Yes.
370
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,774
Oh!
371
00:17:07,234 --> 00:17:09,737
-Champagne?
-Please.
372
00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:11,739
There, my darling.
373
00:17:11,822 --> 00:17:13,741
Thank you.
374
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,242
(glasses break)
375
00:17:15,325 --> 00:17:18,370
What cosmic force
brought us together, Marge?
376
00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:20,831
-Destiny?
-Yes.
377
00:17:20,914 --> 00:17:22,916
Some divine pinspotter...
378
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,378
must have placed us
side by side.
379
00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:29,506
Like two fragile
bowling pins--
380
00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:31,425
Standing bravely--
381
00:17:31,508 --> 00:17:34,261
-Until inevitably--
-We must topple.
382
00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:41,435
Marge, speak to me.
383
00:17:41,518 --> 00:17:46,106
-Is Thursday okay?
-It's okay, indeed.
384
00:17:57,993 --> 00:17:59,912
"For Marge"?
385
00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:11,632
Hey, Dad.
What do you say we toss
386
00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:13,634
the ol' apple around, huh?
Sound like fun?
387
00:18:13,717 --> 00:18:15,928
Son, I don't know
if I can lift my head,
388
00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:17,262
let alone a ball.
389
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:19,181
Aw, come on, Dad.
Get the lead out.
390
00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:23,102
Simpson checks the runner on first.
He's cool. He's fine.
391
00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:26,146
Here's the windup,
and here's the pitch.
392
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,068
Dad, you didn't
even say "ouch."
393
00:18:31,151 --> 00:18:34,279
Oh, sorry.
Ouch.
394
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:36,365
Lisa. Lisa, I think
you're right about Dad.
395
00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:38,450
-Something's very, very wrong here.
-Frightened, Bart?
396
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:40,702
Welcome to stage three: fear.
397
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:42,621
Well, come on.
We gotta do something, man.
398
00:18:42,704 --> 00:18:44,623
Sorry, Bart.
I'd love to help you,
399
00:18:44,706 --> 00:18:47,751
but I'm mired
in stage five, self-pity.
400
00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:49,711
Look, Dad. I don't know
what's going on,
401
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:51,713
but once you gave me
some advice that might help.
402
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:53,674
I gave you advice?
Get out of here.
403
00:18:53,757 --> 00:18:55,050
Yeah, you did.
404
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:57,219
You told me when
something's bothering you,
405
00:18:57,302 --> 00:18:59,638
and you're too damn stupid
to know what to do,
406
00:18:59,721 --> 00:19:01,890
just keep your fool mouth shut.
407
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,892
At least that way,
you won't make things worse.
408
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:06,478
Hmm. Good advice.
409
00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:19,575
Marge,
may I speak to you?
410
00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:22,369
-Sure.
-You know, I've been thinking.
411
00:19:22,452 --> 00:19:24,496
Everyone makes peanut butter
and jelly sandwiches,
412
00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:26,748
but usually the jelly
drips out over the side,
413
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:29,001
and the guy's
hands get all sticky.
414
00:19:29,084 --> 00:19:31,545
But your jelly stays
right in the middle
415
00:19:31,628 --> 00:19:33,046
where it's supposed to.
416
00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:34,715
I don't know how you do it.
417
00:19:34,798 --> 00:19:37,926
You just got a gift, I guess.
I've always thought so.
418
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,678
I just never mentioned it,
419
00:19:39,761 --> 00:19:41,930
but it's time you knew
how I feel.
420
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:44,766
I don't believe in keeping
feelings bottled up.
421
00:19:47,394 --> 00:19:49,771
Good-bye, my wife.
422
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:52,691
-(door opens, closes)
-Good-bye, Homer.
423
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:02,451
To the most beautiful
moment in life.
424
00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:04,703
Better than the deed,
better than the memory--
425
00:20:04,786 --> 00:20:07,206
the moment
of anticipation.
426
00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:10,000
(humming)
427
00:20:10,083 --> 00:20:12,878
Oh, Jacques, you handsome devil.
Look at you.
428
00:20:12,961 --> 00:20:17,132
You're really going
to strike out tonight!
429
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:22,387
-Ain't you hungry, Homer?
-Starving.
430
00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:24,389
Well, then why aren't
you eating your sandwich?
431
00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:25,891
How can I eat it?
432
00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:28,268
She made it.
It's all I have left.
433
00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:31,563
Domestic situation.
434
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:38,695
♪♪ ("Wedding March")
435
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:58,131
(tires squealing)
436
00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:01,677
(tires squeal)
437
00:21:10,686 --> 00:21:14,606
♪♪ (Theme from "An Officer
And A Gentleman")
438
00:21:31,331 --> 00:21:33,250
Uh, huh?
439
00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:36,169
Marge!
What a lovely surprise.
440
00:21:36,253 --> 00:21:38,171
You're here to see me,
right?
441
00:21:38,255 --> 00:21:40,674
Of course!
442
00:21:40,757 --> 00:21:44,136
(co-workers clapping,
cheering)
443
00:21:49,349 --> 00:21:52,602
Hey, way to go, Homer.
Way to go!
444
00:21:52,686 --> 00:21:54,438
What will I tell
the boss?
445
00:21:54,521 --> 00:21:57,816
Tell him I'm going
to the backseat of my car
446
00:21:57,899 --> 00:21:59,401
with the woman I love,
447
00:21:59,484 --> 00:22:03,113
and I won't be back
for ten minutes.
448
00:22:03,196 --> 00:22:05,157
(clapping, cheering)
449
00:22:14,791 --> 00:22:17,794
♪♪
450
00:22:59,669 --> 00:23:01,880
-(mumbling)
-Shh!