1
00:00:03,753 --> 00:00:06,089
辛普森一家
2
00:00:06,965 --> 00:00:08,049
欢迎莅临春田核电厂
3
00:00:09,509 --> 00:00:11,052
微痛牙医
4
00:00:11,302 --> 00:00:12,554
春田小学
5
00:00:14,931 --> 00:00:18,309
我不会在拥挤的教室里喊失火了
6
00:00:25,775 --> 00:00:27,527
注意安全
7
00:00:27,610 --> 00:00:29,362
《妈妈杂志》 小丑库斯提麦片
8
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:49,799
老莫小酒馆
9
00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:53,553
公交站
10
00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:33,301
现在与空中的主持人联机
11
00:01:33,384 --> 00:01:35,804
比尔·派在KBBL直升机上为您报道
12
00:01:35,887 --> 00:01:38,181
-请说 比尔
-坏消息 各位司机
13
00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:40,266
高速公路上有辆载满甜瓜的货车翻覆
14
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:42,352
现场一片混乱 好多人在一旁围观
15
00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:43,520
还有人拿起甜瓜互砸
16
00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:45,688
-所以车流受阻…
-嘿 甜甜圈
17
00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:46,815
美味甜甜圈
18
00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:48,399
巴特 最后一个是我的
19
00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:54,989
好耶
20
00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:56,616
-霍默
-爸爸
21
00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:59,160
完了 校车
22
00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:01,746
急什么 我们来了
23
00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:03,039
你们忘了带我做的爱心午餐
24
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,124
库斯提 小精灵
25
00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:06,626
-不用了 妈
-我们拿到钱了
26
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,628
-你们给我…
-啊
27
00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:17,637
噢
28
00:02:18,012 --> 00:02:19,806
我是比尔·派 为您播报空中消息
29
00:02:19,889 --> 00:02:22,016
下次见 KBBL电台
30
00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:25,728
玛吉 又只剩下你和我了
31
00:02:28,773 --> 00:02:31,401
您正在收听KBBL电台
报道最新消息 24小时不打烊
32
00:02:31,526 --> 00:02:33,319
如果您想和其他听众
33
00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:34,779
分享让人难堪的问题
34
00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:36,990
请您拨给我们线上的心理治疗师
35
00:02:37,073 --> 00:02:38,158
马文·门罗医师
36
00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:40,535
我们的电话是“555-真痛苦”
37
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,664
别害怕 即刻来电
38
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,042
喂
39
00:02:48,209 --> 00:02:49,085
直播中
40
00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:51,129
我想和门罗医师聊聊
41
00:02:51,212 --> 00:02:52,881
叫什么名字 几岁 什么问题
42
00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:55,341
我叫玛琦 今年34岁
43
00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:57,468
我的问题出自于我的丈夫
44
00:02:57,552 --> 00:03:00,638
他不听我说的话 也不懂得珍惜我
45
00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:02,807
我不知道我还能撑多久…
46
00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:05,476
嘿 等到直播开始再抱怨 好吗
47
00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:08,229
春田核电厂
48
00:03:09,564 --> 00:03:11,691
来看看 下一位是玛琦
49
00:03:11,774 --> 00:03:13,026
玛琦 被冷落的妻子
50
00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:15,111
她今年34岁 困在没有爱的婚姻中
51
00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:16,487
嘿 放大声一点
52
00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:18,531
我最爱听那些疯子上节目
53
00:03:18,656 --> 00:03:20,116
和我聊聊你的丈夫 玛琦
54
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,743
好啊…
55
00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:24,746
我们一开始约会的时候 他比较贴心
56
00:03:24,829 --> 00:03:27,582
比较浪漫 也比现在瘦18公斤
57
00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:30,251
他还有头发 吃饭会拿餐具
58
00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:33,963
最后一句是什么
59
00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:37,675
那不是你老婆吗 霍默
60
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:38,927
别闹了
61
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,970
我老婆对我死心塌地的
62
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:42,222
玛琦…
63
00:03:42,805 --> 00:03:45,266
我接下来要说的是残酷的事实
64
00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:47,810
你的丈夫无视你的存在
65
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:52,106
-那好 谢谢
-不是的 别挂断
66
00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:54,275
这个废物把你当做他母亲
67
00:03:54,692 --> 00:03:57,487
他不把你当性感情人看待
68
00:03:57,695 --> 00:03:58,571
真的吗
69
00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:01,074
我敢拿我令人反感的声音保证 玛琦
70
00:04:01,282 --> 00:04:04,369
今晚他一踏进家门
71
00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:06,454
你就要告诉他你受够了
72
00:04:06,537 --> 00:04:09,040
如果他不表达爱意 你就离开他
73
00:04:09,123 --> 00:04:10,541
离开霍默？
74
00:04:10,708 --> 00:04:13,211
-请不要说出他的真名
-离开培卓？
75
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,882
-你能诚实以对吗 玛琦
-可以
76
00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:20,176
等他下班回家你马上跟他摊牌
77
00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:22,053
-好啊
-说出你的真心话
78
00:04:23,304 --> 00:04:24,389
好啊
79
00:04:24,472 --> 00:04:25,848
说得好
80
00:04:27,558 --> 00:04:28,768
拜托 巴特
81
00:04:29,018 --> 00:04:30,019
别闹了
82
00:04:30,186 --> 00:04:32,105
你的幽默感到哪去了
83
00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:34,565
-老莫小酒馆
-喂 老艾在吗
84
00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:37,026
-老艾？
-对 老艾 他叫合玖
85
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,361
我问一下
86
00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:41,698
有电话找老艾…“老艾合玖”
87
00:04:42,156 --> 00:04:43,908
这里有人是“老艾合玖”吗
88
00:04:47,912 --> 00:04:49,163
等一下
89
00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,749
你给我听好 死小孩
90
00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:54,294
如果我查到你是谁 我要杀了你
91
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:02,302
希望你能找到那个小混蛋
老莫 再来一杯
92
00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:04,846
你没事吧 霍默 你通常只喝一杯
93
00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:07,056
配点花生 牛肉干 腌鸡蛋
94
00:05:07,181 --> 00:05:08,474
吃完就走
95
00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:12,729
这么说吧 我今晚不想回家
请给我一整罐
96
00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:15,940
你可以跟我说实话
97
00:05:16,065 --> 00:05:19,277
-你家里有问题吗
-可以这么说
98
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:22,280
我老婆要离开我 她觉得我是废物
99
00:05:22,363 --> 00:05:23,698
-霍默
-怎么了
100
00:05:23,781 --> 00:05:26,659
玛琦说得对 你是废物
不信你问酒吧里其他人
101
00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:27,827
你说什么
102
00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:30,121
巴尼 我是废物吗
103
00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:32,623
你和我一样都是废物
104
00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:35,918
噢 不
105
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,837
听到了吧 你是废物
106
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:41,466
巴尼是废物 赖瑞是废物
我们全都是废物
107
00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:44,010
不过有一个例外
108
00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:45,511
每隔一段时间
109
00:05:45,636 --> 00:05:48,139
我们能振作起来 打扮整齐
110
00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:49,974
表现得像一般人
111
00:05:50,391 --> 00:05:52,852
霍默 买花送你老婆 带她去约会
112
00:05:52,935 --> 00:05:54,437
陪她出去玩一个晚上
113
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:57,357
蜡烛 桌巾 一应俱全
114
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,108
天啊 好浪漫的夜晚
115
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,194
不行 她那么聪明 不会被骗的
116
00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:03,780
我还没说完 吃完晚餐后
117
00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:07,700
你们两个住进市区最高级的汽车旅馆
118
00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:11,162
住到隔天早上再退房
119
00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:13,122
你懂我的意思
120
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:14,540
我心领神会
121
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:16,209
嘻嘻
122
00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:20,421
已经6点15分了 爸爸去哪里了
123
00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:23,549
对啊 晚上吃肉饼 谁会迟到
124
00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,846
我想买花
125
00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:30,139
什么样的花
126
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,517
漂亮的那种 不要枯萎的
127
00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:34,727
我们有美丽的长梗玫瑰
128
00:06:35,019 --> 00:06:36,729
一打55美元
129
00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:38,356
请给我一朵
130
00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:54,330
-妈妈
-有东西吃吗
131
00:07:17,353 --> 00:07:19,272
你的丈夫无视你的存在
132
00:07:19,897 --> 00:07:22,817
这个废物把你当做他母亲…
133
00:07:23,025 --> 00:07:26,112
他不把你当性感情人看待
134
00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:27,864
不把你当性感情人…
135
00:07:28,197 --> 00:07:29,740
如果他不表达爱意…
136
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:45,590
玛琦 我…爱你
137
00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:47,091
不行 这样不好
138
00:07:47,675 --> 00:07:50,595
玛琦 宝贝 我爱你
139
00:07:50,678 --> 00:07:52,096
噢
140
00:07:52,513 --> 00:07:54,599
玛琦 爱你喔 宝贝
141
00:07:56,684 --> 00:07:58,936
玛琦 亲爱的 美女 宝贝
142
00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:02,190
这样子不行
143
00:08:10,698 --> 00:08:12,492
我爱你 玛琦
144
00:08:12,783 --> 00:08:14,243
霍默
145
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,162
我也爱你
146
00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,834
晚餐前的娱乐节目
147
00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:24,629
-老莫小酒馆
-托小姐在吗
148
00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:26,964
-找谁
-“托广光”小姐
149
00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:28,466
等一下 我问问看
150
00:08:28,549 --> 00:08:30,176
“托广光”小姐
151
00:08:30,384 --> 00:08:32,428
有人要找“托广光”小姐
152
00:08:35,681 --> 00:08:38,518
我在高级法国餐厅订了位了
153
00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:41,103
可是 霍默 这太贵了吧
154
00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:44,106
无所谓 我的爱人 吃完点心后
155
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:47,151
我们要住进匝道出口旅馆二楼
156
00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:49,320
霍默 我好兴奋
157
00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:51,322
等等 那谁来看孩子
158
00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:53,241
-完了
-别担心
159
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:54,867
听清楚 讨厌捣蛋鬼
160
00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:57,870
要是让我找到你 我一定扒光你的皮
161
00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:59,830
天啊 一定是接错电话线了
162
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,877
橡皮宝宝婴儿车保姆服务公司
163
00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:06,420
我是玛琦·辛普森
164
00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:08,923
-我今晚想找一位保姆
-等一下
165
00:09:09,131 --> 00:09:10,216
辛普森一家？
166
00:09:10,299 --> 00:09:11,634
小姐 你在开玩笑吧
167
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:13,386
辛普森一家 拒绝往来
168
00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:19,433
橡皮宝宝婴儿车保姆服务公司
169
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:21,936
喂 我是山普森先生
170
00:09:22,019 --> 00:09:24,105
你太太刚才有打过来吗
171
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:25,856
不 我是山普森 不是辛普森
172
00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:27,316
谢天谢地
173
00:09:27,441 --> 00:09:30,695
辛普森一家都是野蛮人
174
00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:33,990
-尤其那个长得像人猿的爸爸
-可恶
175
00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:36,534
其实辛普森一家是我们的邻居
176
00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:38,077
在我们看来
177
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:41,205
他们是常受人误会 被低估的一家人
178
00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:44,125
妈妈 你看起来好美
179
00:09:44,208 --> 00:09:47,753
今晚非常特别
180
00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:50,798
你爸爸要带我出去吃晚餐和跳舞
181
00:09:50,881 --> 00:09:51,882
爸爸会跳舞？
182
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:53,175
跳得跟天使一样
183
00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:54,510
啦 啦
184
00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:57,430
啦 啦 啦…
185
00:09:58,055 --> 00:10:00,558
啦 啦 啦…
186
00:10:00,641 --> 00:10:02,768
啦 啦 啦…
187
00:10:02,893 --> 00:10:04,604
尽情摇摆 霍默
188
00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:07,857
总有一天你会懂得
如何像老爸一样跳舞
189
00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:09,275
我才不要
190
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:12,153
儿子 全天下的女人
191
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:14,864
都无法抗拒会跳曼波舞的男人
192
00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:17,992
-你什么都不懂吧 爸爸
-出去 小子
193
00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:19,452
出去
194
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,870
真爱生气
195
00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:30,504
什么
196
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:35,259
和宝宝的屁股一样光滑
197
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:38,971
啦 啦 啦…
198
00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:41,932
亲爱的 我好像听到门铃响了
199
00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:43,476
你说得对 美人
200
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:44,935
巴特 去开门
201
00:10:45,102 --> 00:10:46,562
遵命 曼波男
202
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,656
啦 啦 啦…
203
00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:57,907
你一定是保姆
204
00:10:57,990 --> 00:10:59,617
对 我是波兹小姐
205
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:01,077
别只会站在那里 小子
206
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,204
去帮波兹小姐提行李
207
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:04,955
我自己会提行李
208
00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:08,084
谢谢你临时抽空过来 波兹小姐
209
00:11:08,209 --> 00:11:10,878
这些是我们要去餐厅的电话号码
210
00:11:10,961 --> 00:11:13,130
还有我们住的汽车旅馆
211
00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:14,965
现在要让玛吉上床睡觉了
212
00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:17,385
但巴特和莉萨一个小时后才上床
213
00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:20,262
他们可以在睡前选一部录像带来看
214
00:11:20,429 --> 00:11:23,724
哇 是《快乐小精灵与好奇小熊》
215
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:26,519
噢 小精灵
216
00:11:26,602 --> 00:11:28,729
再见 孩子们 注意那小子
217
00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:33,234
再见 要乖乖听话
218
00:11:33,317 --> 00:11:36,028
-我们出门了
-啦 啦
219
00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:38,698
啦 啦 啦…
220
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:42,118
来吧 孩子们 来看《快乐小精灵》
221
00:11:42,201 --> 00:11:43,994
听好 我们看过烂小精灵电影
222
00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:45,287
看了好几亿次
223
00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:48,582
-也许我们可以看真正的电视节目
-我说过我们要看录像带
224
00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:51,627
我只是提出我的建议而已
225
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,796
妈妈会让我们看所有想看的节目
226
00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:56,298
我说了 你们要看录像带
227
00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:59,552
你们最好乖乖听话
否则我就要你们好看
228
00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:01,095
我不知道我会做出什么事
229
00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:04,223
因为每个人都会听我的话
230
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:08,436
FBI警告
231
00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:13,149
全都看起来好好吃
232
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:15,860
但我要吃那边那一只
233
00:12:15,943 --> 00:12:18,988
您何不选一只更好动一点的
234
00:12:19,113 --> 00:12:20,406
为什么
235
00:12:20,489 --> 00:12:23,242
您选的那只翻肚浮在水上
236
00:12:23,325 --> 00:12:27,288
这似乎不是活龙虾
237
00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:28,789
那好吧
238
00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:31,917
我要选那边有圆眼睛的那只
239
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:35,671
选得好 先生 我能带您入座吗
240
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,423
好的 女士优先
241
00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:40,593
我们等一下还会碰面
242
00:12:40,801 --> 00:12:43,345
蜂蜜
243
00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:44,680
救命
244
00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:46,557
快一点
245
00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:48,225
我们要救出波波
246
00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:51,812
天啊 我看不下去了
247
00:12:51,979 --> 00:12:55,191
-可是我想知道会发生什么事
-你早就知道了
248
00:12:55,357 --> 00:12:56,942
他们会找到库克船长的宝藏
249
00:12:57,067 --> 00:12:59,028
全部小精灵会像笨蛋一样手舞足蹈
250
00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:00,279
我吐了 剧终
251
00:13:00,404 --> 00:13:03,991
巴特 你和小精灵奇力一样无法爱人
252
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:05,576
现在来看真正的电视节目
253
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:09,455
好耶 正在播《全美持械危险人物》
254
00:13:09,538 --> 00:13:11,916
不行 巴特 我们会做噩梦
255
00:13:11,999 --> 00:13:14,084
放轻松 这可是货真价实的电视节目
256
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:15,878
如果出现残忍的缓慢杀人镜头
257
00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:17,713
我会叫你闭上眼睛
258
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:22,134
这位冷面杀手持有武器 极度危险
259
00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:26,222
如果你看到他 请拨打1800尖叫专线
260
00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:28,808
霍默 你看起来就像小孩子
261
00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:30,226
因为我无忧无虑吗
262
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:31,894
不是 因为你戴着围兜兜
263
00:13:37,858 --> 00:13:39,318
还要喝香槟吗
264
00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:40,694
没了
265
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:42,488
再点一瓶
266
00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:46,992
服务生 再来一瓶
倒数第二便宜的香槟
267
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:49,829
无法反抗的小孩手被捆绑
堵住嘴巴 留在客厅里
268
00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:52,289
大盗自在地在家中走动
269
00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:56,418
偷走这家人毕生收藏的宝贵物品
270
00:13:56,919 --> 00:14:00,548
赖瑞·戴维斯乐团
271
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:18,357
玛琦 这好像我们一开始约会的时候
272
00:14:18,732 --> 00:14:20,234
除了一件事
273
00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:22,194
没有监护人
274
00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:23,946
喔呵呵
275
00:14:24,822 --> 00:14:25,990
保姆大盗
276
00:14:26,073 --> 00:14:28,117
在夜晚抢劫时留下了足迹
277
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,244
遍布全美国上下
278
00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:31,871
她可能埋伏在任何地方
279
00:14:31,996 --> 00:14:35,207
在不知情的傻子家附近蠢蠢欲动
280
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:36,917
-唉
-哇
281
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:40,379
我们稍后要公布保姆大盗的真面目
282
00:14:40,462 --> 00:14:42,131
露西尔·波兹科斯基
283
00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:44,466
记住 她可能会用别名…
284
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:45,593
波兹
285
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:49,346
她可能携带武器 而且相当危险
286
00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:51,140
露西尔·波兹科斯基
183公分 80公斤
287
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,117
快跑
288
00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:18,500
1800爆料专线 不对 是尖叫专线
289
00:15:19,877 --> 00:15:21,420
噢 不
290
00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:26,425
看到匝道出口别忘了说一声
291
00:15:26,675 --> 00:15:27,676
就在…
292
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:28,969
老匝道出口旅馆
293
00:15:29,136 --> 00:15:30,137
过头了
294
00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:33,057
没问题的
295
00:15:33,140 --> 00:15:34,892
我们走下一个出口
296
00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:40,397
下个出口 55公里
297
00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:47,571
巴特
298
00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:50,199
巴特
299
00:15:52,159 --> 00:15:54,370
巴特
300
00:15:56,830 --> 00:15:59,750
是时候刷牙洗脸
301
00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:01,710
睡前祷告啰
302
00:16:02,252 --> 00:16:03,921
你在…
303
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:05,965
这里吗
304
00:16:06,173 --> 00:16:08,509
自制腌甜菜
305
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:12,012
动手吧 尽管拿
306
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,352
既然没有人受伤
307
00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:20,688
我认为没有必要继续纠结此事
308
00:16:21,105 --> 00:16:23,148
快点接
309
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:25,442
终于接了
310
00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:26,986
喂 警戒的观众
311
00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:30,155
这里是《全美持械危险人物》节目
312
00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:32,282
我要报案 有保姆大盗
313
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:34,410
她在我们家…
314
00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:36,203
来吧 玛琦
315
00:16:36,286 --> 00:16:38,038
我要把你抱进门
316
00:16:38,163 --> 00:16:39,707
好 但小心一点
317
00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:41,709
不要像上次那样撞到我的头
318
00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:44,670
别说了 11年前的事你居然念念不忘
319
00:16:44,753 --> 00:16:46,171
不要弄乱我的头发
320
00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:48,007
噢
321
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:50,718
痛
322
00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:53,012
这真好玩
323
00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:56,432
我们知道你的身份了 波兹小姐
324
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:59,476
还是要叫你波兹科斯基小姐
325
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,020
你就是保姆大盗
326
00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:02,771
你是个聪明的孩子 巴特
327
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:05,149
希望你够聪明 懂得闭嘴
328
00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:06,316
他没有
329
00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:10,070
要是你认为你能逍遥法外 你就疯了
你不能…
330
00:17:10,904 --> 00:17:12,489
我真的不是坏人
331
00:17:12,614 --> 00:17:14,033
来吧 我在办事的时候
332
00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:17,077
你们可以把你们最爱的录像带看完
333
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:21,665
安静 巴特 好好把握这个机会
334
00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:25,627
也许我该换上
335
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:28,172
更舒适的衣服
336
00:17:28,255 --> 00:17:32,051
是蓝色的那件吗
337
00:17:32,259 --> 00:17:35,262
-看了就知道
-快一点 美女
338
00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:49,568
小孩的东西
339
00:17:50,694 --> 00:17:52,362
根本不值钱
340
00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:54,490
一大堆垃圾
341
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,366
脏东西
342
00:17:56,784 --> 00:17:57,993
山普森一家笨死了
343
00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:13,300
玛吉
344
00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:14,843
过来
345
00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:20,057
-再见
-大家再见
346
00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:21,266
-再见
-好耶
347
00:18:21,391 --> 00:18:22,392
剧终
348
00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:25,229
玛吉
349
00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:27,898
你想再看一遍《快乐小精灵》吗
350
00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:30,609
好
351
00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:32,694
但你要先把我放开
352
00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:38,367
噢 霍默
353
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,789
好耶
354
00:18:45,999 --> 00:18:48,627
你爬出你的婴儿床了
355
00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:51,797
我猜你也要被绑起来
356
00:18:55,717 --> 00:18:58,428
玛吉 你在哪啊
357
00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:01,390
玛吉
358
00:19:20,784 --> 00:19:25,080
霍默 如果我打电话回家
会不会破坏气氛
359
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,416
我只想确认孩子们没事
360
00:19:37,467 --> 00:19:38,719
霍默 醒来
361
00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:40,888
家里没有人接电话
362
00:19:40,971 --> 00:19:42,431
-所以呢
-我很担心
363
00:19:42,514 --> 00:19:43,932
我想我们应该回家
364
00:19:44,099 --> 00:19:45,601
好吧
365
00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:48,770
我想我的工作完成了 嘻嘻
366
00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:51,899
喂 警戒的观众
请问需要什么协助
367
00:19:51,982 --> 00:19:54,193
我们抓到她了 我们抓到保姆大盗
368
00:19:54,276 --> 00:19:56,403
她被绑起来了 在我们家里
369
00:19:56,570 --> 00:19:58,906
-问问有没有奖励
-有奖励吗
370
00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:01,450
如果她被判有罪 我们可以拿到T恤
371
00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:02,659
好耶
372
00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:04,536
为什么灯还亮着
373
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:06,246
我有不好的预感
374
00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:09,208
-波兹小姐
-波兹小姐
375
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,376
天啊
376
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:13,629
那些捣蛋鬼对你做了什么
377
00:20:14,129 --> 00:20:15,255
我们很抱歉
378
00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:17,007
真的非常抱歉
379
00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:19,801
拜托把电视关掉
380
00:20:20,385 --> 00:20:23,680
发生这种事 我们非常愤怒
381
00:20:23,847 --> 00:20:25,474
这些行李真重
382
00:20:28,018 --> 00:20:30,687
希望你不会把这件事放在心上
这是双倍酬劳
383
00:20:30,771 --> 00:20:32,689
-不 三倍
-谢谢
384
00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:34,733
山普森先生 我能给你一点建议吗
385
00:20:34,816 --> 00:20:35,859
当然了
386
00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:39,029
千万别放任那男孩撒野 一秒也不行
387
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,615
你说得真对 有一次他…
388
00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:50,290
犯案现场在这里
我把她绑起来 关进房间
389
00:20:50,374 --> 00:20:52,000
等一下 年轻人
390
00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:55,420
我不晓得你这次又在玩哪种把戏
391
00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:58,757
但我得松绑你的保姆
还付了她不少钱…
392
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,801
不好意思 先生
请问你是向全世界说
393
00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:02,678
你帮助并纵容
394
00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:05,222
恶名昭彰的保姆大盗逃跑？
395
00:21:05,806 --> 00:21:08,100
-什么
-保姆大盗
396
00:21:08,892 --> 00:21:12,187
你确定麦克风开着吗
397
00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:16,108
我不会用帮助她这种说法
麦克风开了 对吧
398
00:21:16,191 --> 00:21:18,485
因为其实我跟她搏斗了很久
399
00:21:18,652 --> 00:21:19,945
唉 霍默
400
00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:22,614
你看过功夫电影吗 就像那样
401
00:21:22,739 --> 00:21:23,740
本地的白痴
402
00:21:23,907 --> 00:21:25,325
但现在我知道她的手法
403
00:21:25,409 --> 00:21:28,537
所以如果你正在听这段访问
你最好想清楚
404
00:21:28,662 --> 00:21:31,456
别再来招惹霍默辛普森
405
00:21:33,667 --> 00:21:36,878
老天爷 帮帮我 我并不聪明
406
00:21:37,462 --> 00:21:40,257
霍默 别这么说
407
00:21:40,924 --> 00:21:43,427
在我看来 如果你养的三个孩子
408
00:21:43,510 --> 00:21:45,887
能够将陌生人击倒 捆绑起来
409
00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:47,597
你一定是做对了什么
410
00:21:47,973 --> 00:21:48,890
好吧
411
00:21:52,102 --> 00:21:53,145
也对
412
00:21:56,940 --> 00:21:58,859
亲爱的 我们可以再一次和好吗
413
00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:01,069
我的天啊
414
00:22:52,829 --> 00:22:54,831
字幕翻译：侯敏生