1 00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:05,922 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:19,060 -(chalk screeches) -(bell rings) 3 00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:25,525 (work whistle blows) 4 00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:30,905 -(sucking) -(register beeping) 5 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:43,334 (jazzy solo) 6 00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:47,422 (tires screech) 7 00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:55,096 (tires screeching) 8 00:00:58,516 --> 00:00:59,809 (horn honks) 9 00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:02,187 (tires screech) 10 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:07,650 -Aah! -(tires screech) 11 00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:11,905 HOMER: D'oh! 12 00:01:21,873 --> 00:01:23,291 -MRS. KRABAPPEL: Bart. -BART: Huh? 13 00:01:23,374 --> 00:01:24,334 MRS. KRABAPPEL: There will be no further interruptions 14 00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:25,627 during Martin's book report. 15 00:01:25,710 --> 00:01:27,754 MARTIN: "You're killing me, fish. 16 00:01:27,837 --> 00:01:29,297 "Never have I seen 17 00:01:29,380 --> 00:01:32,133 "a greater or more noble thing than you, brother. 18 00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:33,760 "Come on and kill me. 19 00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:36,846 "I do not care who kills who. 20 00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,306 "To catch a fish. 21 00:01:38,389 --> 00:01:40,058 "To kill a bull. 22 00:01:40,141 --> 00:01:42,060 "To make love to a woman. 23 00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:45,230 To live." 24 00:01:45,313 --> 00:01:46,689 I thank you. 25 00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:49,359 Oh, absolutely brilliant! 26 00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:51,861 There were moments I truly believed 27 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,988 you were Hemingway. Bravo, Martin. 28 00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:55,865 Oh, please, call me Papa. 29 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,909 A little ketchup for your buns, Papa? 30 00:01:57,992 --> 00:01:59,202 -Ooh! -All right, class, all right. 31 00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:01,079 I think we have time for one more report. 32 00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:02,622 -Bart Simpson? -Oh! 33 00:02:02,705 --> 00:02:05,333 Is your book report on "Treasure Island" ready? 34 00:02:05,416 --> 00:02:08,419 Is it ready? Ha! What a question. 35 00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:11,047 Fellow students, prepare to be dazzled. 36 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,883 Well, as Mrs. Krabappel already mentioned 37 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:17,011 the name of the book that I read was "Treasure Island." 38 00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:19,389 It's about these... pirates. 39 00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:22,809 Pirates with patches over their eyes... 40 00:02:22,892 --> 00:02:24,435 and shiny gold teeth... 41 00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:27,397 and green birds on their shoulders. 42 00:02:28,898 --> 00:02:30,567 Did I mention this book 43 00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:33,570 was written by a guy named Robert Louis Stevenson? 44 00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:36,322 And published by the good people at McGraw-Hill. 45 00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:38,074 So, in conclusion 46 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,076 on the Simpson scale of one to ten 47 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,828 ten being the highest, one being the lowest 48 00:02:41,911 --> 00:02:46,583 and five being average, I give this book a nine. 49 00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:48,376 Ahem. Any questions? 50 00:02:48,459 --> 00:02:50,420 No? Then I'll just sit down. 51 00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:52,172 Bart, did you read the book? 52 00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:54,299 Mrs. Krabappel, I am insulted. 53 00:02:54,382 --> 00:02:56,593 Is this a book report or a witch hunt? 54 00:02:56,676 --> 00:03:00,847 Then perhaps you'd like to tell us the name of the pirate. 55 00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:02,182 (thinking) Blackbeard, Captain Nemo, 56 00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:03,349 Captain Hook, Long John Silver, 57 00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:04,350 Peg-Leg Pete, Bluebeard... 58 00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:05,643 Bluebeard? 59 00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:07,270 Sit down, Bart. I'll see you after class. 60 00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:09,606 Awww. 61 00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,357 Your grades have gotten steadily worse 62 00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:12,650 since the beginning of the term. 63 00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:14,861 -Are you aware of that? -Yes, ma'am. 64 00:03:14,944 --> 00:03:16,321 Are you aware that there is a major exam tomorrow 65 00:03:16,404 --> 00:03:18,907 -on colonial America? -Yes, ma'am. 66 00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:21,326 Blah blah blah blah blah... 67 00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:24,370 -Yes, ma'am. -Blah blah blah blah blah blah... 68 00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:27,123 -Yes, ma'am. -Bart, you haven't been paying attention 69 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,666 -to a word I've said, have you? -Yes, ma'am. 70 00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:30,001 -Well then, what did I say? -Uh... 71 00:03:30,084 --> 00:03:33,004 Straighten up and fly right? 72 00:03:33,087 --> 00:03:34,547 That was a lucky guess. 73 00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:39,219 Hyuh! Take that, granny! 74 00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:40,261 Oh, hide in the closet. 75 00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:42,096 Oh, no, deadly mothballs. 76 00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:43,723 Ew! Granny's kissing me. 77 00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:45,016 FEMALE VOICE: You have reached the level 78 00:03:45,099 --> 00:03:46,809 of ungrateful grandchild. 79 00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:48,394 Try again, if you dare. 80 00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:49,979 (granny giggling) 81 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:52,065 (evil laugh) 82 00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:54,651 Just a couple more games and I'll hit the books. 83 00:03:56,694 --> 00:03:59,030 ♪♪ 84 00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:05,495 (laughing) 85 00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:11,751 (laughing) 86 00:04:11,834 --> 00:04:13,544 Soup's on! Hurry up, 87 00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:15,380 or it will get that icky skin on the top. 88 00:04:15,463 --> 00:04:17,340 Ew, I hate that icky soup skin. 89 00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:20,635 Okay, right after dinner, it's down to business. 90 00:04:20,718 --> 00:04:23,012 Hmm. Marge, could you get me another beer, please? 91 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,473 In a second, Homer. Lisa has some good news. 92 00:04:25,556 --> 00:04:26,766 He doesn't care, Mom. 93 00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:28,101 Sure I do. 94 00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:29,727 I just want to have a beer while I'm caring. 95 00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,437 -Marge? -Homer! 96 00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:33,356 -(gasps) -Go ahead, Lisa. 97 00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:34,732 Well, okay. 98 00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:36,693 I got an "A" on my vocabulary test. 99 00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:39,112 (gasps) What? You did? 100 00:04:39,195 --> 00:04:41,030 Well, that's just... 101 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:43,199 Oh, what a glorious day! 102 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,034 Lisa, hand me your paper. 103 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:47,537 I'm just gonna take this over to the refrigerator and-- 104 00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:49,330 Hmm... well, as long as I'm here 105 00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:51,207 I might as well kill two birds with one stone. 106 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,793 What's the big idea? You covered up my paper. 107 00:04:53,876 --> 00:04:56,504 Heh-heh, look at those funny little whiskers. 108 00:04:56,587 --> 00:04:57,964 Ooh! That reminds me. 109 00:04:58,047 --> 00:04:59,299 It's Big Gorilla Week on Million Dollar Movie. 110 00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:00,675 Come on, boy. 111 00:05:00,758 --> 00:05:03,052 Uh, no, Dad. I should really-- Hyuhh! 112 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:06,055 Ooh, Gorilla the Conqueror-- 113 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:08,266 the granddaddy of them all. 114 00:05:08,349 --> 00:05:10,643 (crowd screaming) 115 00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:13,521 Oh, well, maybe just one more hour. 116 00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:16,649 (Homer crying) 117 00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:17,859 It's so unfair. 118 00:05:17,942 --> 00:05:20,278 Just because he's different. 119 00:05:20,361 --> 00:05:22,488 Well, time to hit the books. 120 00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:24,782 (chuckles) Burning the candle at both ends, eh, boy? 121 00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:26,034 Go get 'em. 122 00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:27,577 All right, okay. 123 00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:30,121 Let's take care of some business. 124 00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:32,749 "Chapter One-- A dream of freedom. 125 00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:37,003 "On September 15, 1620, Puritan separatists 126 00:05:37,086 --> 00:05:40,590 "from the Church of England, some living in Holland, 127 00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:42,967 "left Plymouth, England. 128 00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:45,720 (yawns) 129 00:05:45,803 --> 00:05:48,056 Their destination was..." 130 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,476 Psst! Marge? 131 00:05:51,559 --> 00:05:53,561 Come take a look at this. 132 00:05:53,644 --> 00:05:57,398 Oh, the little tiger tries so hard. 133 00:05:57,482 --> 00:05:59,317 Why does he keep failing? 134 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,694 Just a little dim, I guess. 135 00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:04,822 MARGE: Bart, honey 136 00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:06,366 you're going to miss your bus. 137 00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:07,909 Uh-oh. 138 00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:10,870 Hey, Bart dude! Ooh, you look freaked. 139 00:06:10,953 --> 00:06:13,039 Hey, Otto man, I've got a big test that I am not ready for. 140 00:06:13,122 --> 00:06:14,582 Could you please crash the bus or something? 141 00:06:14,665 --> 00:06:17,919 Oh, sorry, little buddy. Can't do it on purpose. 142 00:06:18,002 --> 00:06:19,712 But hey, maybe you'll get lucky. 143 00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:21,297 Okay, no reason to panic. 144 00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:24,300 Find an egghead, pump him for some answers, 145 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,177 and boom! I'm back on easy street. 146 00:06:27,970 --> 00:06:29,389 Oh-ho. 147 00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:31,808 Look at him. I bet he didn't study again. 148 00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:34,811 And now he's gonna try to kiss up and get answers from us. 149 00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:36,813 He's pathetic. 150 00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:38,272 Good morning, girls. 151 00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:39,649 BOTH: Good morning, Bart. 152 00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:42,985 Say, who's up for a little cram session? 153 00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:46,364 I'll go first. What was the name of the pilgrims' boat? 154 00:06:46,447 --> 00:06:48,408 The Spirit of St. Louis. 155 00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:51,327 -And where'd they land? -Sunny Acapulco. 156 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:52,328 And why'd they leave England? 157 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,497 Giant rats. 158 00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:56,374 Cool! History's coming alive. 159 00:06:56,457 --> 00:06:57,959 (girls giggling) 160 00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:02,046 As a natural enemy, 161 00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:03,673 I don't know why I should care, 162 00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:05,466 but the information pertaining to 163 00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:07,885 America's colonial period that you've just received 164 00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:09,679 -is erroneous. -So you're saying... 165 00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:12,014 A blindfolded chimp with a pencil in his teeth 166 00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:14,350 has a better chance of passing this test 167 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,935 -than you do. -(Bart groans) 168 00:07:16,018 --> 00:07:17,395 -(school bell rings) -Thanks for the pep talk. 169 00:07:19,355 --> 00:07:22,066 All right students, take one and pass the rest back. 170 00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:24,318 (thinking) Think, Simpson, think. 171 00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:26,487 Crisis brings out the best in you. 172 00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:28,322 (groaning) 173 00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:30,616 (scoffs) What is it, Bart? 174 00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:31,659 Nothing. 175 00:07:31,742 --> 00:07:34,912 Must... take... test. 176 00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:36,372 Ooh! 177 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,374 (groaning) 178 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:41,210 (whistling) 179 00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:47,008 (groaning) 180 00:07:47,091 --> 00:07:48,926 What's the matter, son? 181 00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:52,221 Sharp, stabbing pains in my stomach. 182 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,682 Oh, dear. I've heard of this. 183 00:07:54,765 --> 00:07:56,684 Do you feel a shooting pain in your arm? 184 00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:58,394 -Both arms, ma'am. -Mm-hmm. 185 00:07:58,478 --> 00:07:59,937 Temporary loss of vision? 186 00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:03,357 Who said that? Come closer. 187 00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:07,069 -(bell ringing) -Yes, dear? 188 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:10,615 Ahh. Maybe, um, one more dish. 189 00:08:10,698 --> 00:08:12,408 Make it double cappuccino chocolate fudge. 190 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,410 Ooh, your third bowl. 191 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:15,870 I think you may be on the mend. 192 00:08:15,953 --> 00:08:17,497 Is there anything else I can get you? 193 00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:18,623 Hmm... 194 00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:20,541 Perhaps the TV? 195 00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,335 Of course. Homer! 196 00:08:22,418 --> 00:08:24,795 -What? -Bring the television up. 197 00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:27,548 -Bart's got his vision back. -D'oh! 198 00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:31,427 (straining) I wish I had amoria phlebitis. 199 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,304 Everyone knows you're faking it, Bart. 200 00:08:33,387 --> 00:08:35,681 Well, everyone better keep their mouth shut. 201 00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:37,850 You're gonna have to fail that history test sooner or later. 202 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:40,978 -I've got my bases covered. -(phone line ringing) 203 00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:43,356 Hey, Milhouse, what'd I miss in school today? 204 00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:46,275 Nothin' much. Lewis made Richard laugh milk through his nose. 205 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:48,528 Oh, you don't say. What about that history test, huh? 206 00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:50,071 Piece of cake, huh? 207 00:08:50,154 --> 00:08:52,865 Listen, what did you get for number one? 208 00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:54,742 Uh-huh. Number two? 209 00:08:54,825 --> 00:08:57,161 Oh, yeah, that sounds right. 210 00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:58,454 Mm, mm-mm, mm, mm, mmm. 211 00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,039 Ahh! 212 00:09:00,122 --> 00:09:01,541 Here you go, Mrs. Krabappel. 213 00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:04,544 I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. 214 00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:08,839 Mm-hmm. Yep. Mm-hmm. 215 00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:11,551 This test is worse than Milhouse's exam. 216 00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:13,469 Bart Simpson, I warned you. 217 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,555 This is the final straw. 218 00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:19,141 Mr. And Mrs. Simpson, I think you know our district psychiatrist 219 00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:21,894 -Dr. J. Loren Pryor. -Hey, Doctor J. 220 00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:25,064 Hmph. I think what we have on our hands here is a classic case 221 00:09:25,147 --> 00:09:28,901 of what laymen refer to as "fear of failure." 222 00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:31,487 As a result, Bart is an underachiever, 223 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:35,449 and yet he seems to be-- how should I put this-- 224 00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:38,035 -proud of it. -Hmm. 225 00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:39,745 One of his problems may be his short attention span 226 00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:41,414 which can lead to... 227 00:09:41,497 --> 00:09:43,708 blah blah blah blah blah blah... 228 00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:45,626 -Uh-huh. -Blah blah 229 00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:48,087 -blah blah blah blah... -Hmm... 230 00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:51,507 Bart has failed his last four exams in History. 231 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,634 Is there anything you're not telling us? 232 00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:54,719 No. 233 00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:55,970 Every other student in the class has shown 234 00:09:56,053 --> 00:09:58,222 at least some form of improvement, 235 00:09:58,306 --> 00:09:59,390 and yet you continue to struggle. 236 00:09:59,473 --> 00:10:01,434 -Why is that? -I don't know. 237 00:10:01,517 --> 00:10:03,060 Look at these results-- 238 00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:05,396 Fifty-five, Forty-two, 239 00:10:05,479 --> 00:10:07,648 Twenty-six-- A 12 on state capitals? 240 00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:11,235 Okay! Okay. Why are we dancing around the obvious? 241 00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:13,946 I know it. You know it. I am dumb, okay? Dumb as a post! 242 00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:15,406 You think I'm happy about it? 243 00:10:15,489 --> 00:10:17,950 There, there, Bart, you're just a late bloomer. 244 00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:19,910 Oh, I wish it were that simple. 245 00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:22,455 As shameful and as emotionally crippling as it may be, 246 00:10:22,538 --> 00:10:25,791 I'm afraid my recommendation is for Bart Simpson to... 247 00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:27,627 repeat the fourth grade. 248 00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:30,713 What? You can't hold me back. I'll do better. I promise. 249 00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:32,131 -Promises, promises. -Oh, sure. That'll be the day. 250 00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:34,050 Well, maybe it would help him 251 00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:35,801 to be left back. 252 00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:37,762 It won't be so bad, Bart. 253 00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:39,555 No, I mean it. You can't hold me back. 254 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,349 I swear I'm gonna do better. 255 00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:43,100 Look at my eyes. See the sincerity? 256 00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:45,227 See the conviction? See the fear? 257 00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:49,065 As God is my witness, I can pass the fourth grade! 258 00:10:49,148 --> 00:10:52,401 And if you don't, at least you'll be bigger than the other kids. 259 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:53,819 (concerned groan) 260 00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:59,617 Get off the bus, or forever hold your peace, little dudes. 261 00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:02,662 Otto, you know I respect you. 262 00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:04,497 I mean, you always let us throw stuff at cars 263 00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:06,582 and try to tip the bus on sharp turns. 264 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:09,877 Damn thing never goes over, does it? 265 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:11,253 So what's in your head, little man? 266 00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:14,757 Well, I been failing a lot of tests recently. 267 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,676 -Yuh-huh? -And now they're talking about 268 00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:20,012 holding me back in the 4th grade if I don't shape up. 269 00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:22,640 That's it? Hey, relax, man. 270 00:11:22,723 --> 00:11:25,017 It could end up being the best thing that ever happened to you. 271 00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:27,311 I got held back in the fourth grade myself. 272 00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:29,271 Twice. 273 00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:33,150 And look at me, man. Now I drive the school bus. 274 00:11:36,153 --> 00:11:37,863 DR. PRYOR: I'm afraid my recommendation 275 00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:40,533 is for Bart Simpson to repeat the fourth grade... 276 00:11:40,616 --> 00:11:44,078 (echoing) repeat the fourth grade... repeat the fourth grade... 277 00:11:44,161 --> 00:11:47,707 All right, class. The topic is world literature. 278 00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:51,752 What was the pirate's name in "Treasure Island"? 279 00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:53,629 Bart Simpson? 280 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:56,048 Look, lady, I got a peptic ulcer, 281 00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:59,677 a wife hawking me for a new car, and I need a root canal. 282 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:02,012 Will you quit bugging me about this stupid pirate? 283 00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:04,140 Psst. It's Long John Silver, Dad. 284 00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:05,933 I heard that, Bart, Jr. 285 00:12:06,016 --> 00:12:09,019 I want to see both of you after class today. 286 00:12:09,103 --> 00:12:12,690 D'oh! Thanks a lot, son. 287 00:12:12,773 --> 00:12:14,567 (infield chatter) 288 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:17,903 Yo, little help. 289 00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:19,780 I said, "little help." 290 00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:21,782 Throw me the ball, Poindexter! 291 00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:23,784 Oh, I'm sorry, Bart. 292 00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:26,495 I'm unfamiliar with the rules of your sport. 293 00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:29,498 I didn't want to interfere with a ball in play. 294 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:32,168 (laughing) 295 00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:35,504 Well, back to the forecastle of the Pequod. 296 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,882 -Hmm... hey, Martin? -You have your ball. 297 00:12:37,965 --> 00:12:40,342 I have nothing else of value. 298 00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:42,511 I need you to help me get a passing grade. 299 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:46,307 Well, you do need someone's help to get a passing grade, 300 00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:48,726 but I don't know why that someone should be me. 301 00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:49,810 Because I can make it so the other kids 302 00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:51,520 don't laugh at you so much. 303 00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:54,982 They... laugh at me? 304 00:12:55,065 --> 00:12:58,569 I'd always considered myself rather popular. 305 00:12:58,652 --> 00:13:01,155 You're not. Watch. Hnh! 306 00:13:01,238 --> 00:13:03,157 (laughing) 307 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,743 But my speed with numbers, 308 00:13:05,826 --> 00:13:08,913 my years of service as a hall monitor, 309 00:13:08,996 --> 00:13:11,707 my prizewinning dioramas-- 310 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,834 these things mean nothing to them? 311 00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:15,711 Perhaps another demonstration. Hnh! 312 00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,880 (kids laughing) 313 00:13:17,963 --> 00:13:20,549 Very well. You have made your point, Bart. 314 00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:21,967 Then it's a deal? 315 00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:23,552 Yes. 316 00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:26,639 Alrighty, let's have a look-see at your study area. 317 00:13:26,722 --> 00:13:28,307 -Study area? -Yes, 318 00:13:28,390 --> 00:13:31,185 your sanctuary from the hurly-burly of modern life. 319 00:13:31,268 --> 00:13:34,313 Well, there's a desk under that junk over there. 320 00:13:34,396 --> 00:13:37,483 MARTIN: Oh, no, no, no, no. This won't do at all. 321 00:13:37,566 --> 00:13:39,193 We're gonna have to clean up this room, 322 00:13:39,276 --> 00:13:41,362 and we'll clearly need a few ferns in here. 323 00:13:41,445 --> 00:13:43,948 No study area is complete without adequate plant life. 324 00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:47,952 -No. -No? 325 00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:49,578 Only geeks sit in the front seat. 326 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,413 From now on, sit in the back row. 327 00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:53,457 And that's not just on the bus. 328 00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:55,793 -It goes for school and church, too. -Why? 329 00:13:55,876 --> 00:13:58,254 So no one can see what you're doing. 330 00:13:58,337 --> 00:14:01,048 Oh! I think I understand. 331 00:14:01,131 --> 00:14:03,467 The potential for mischief varies inversely 332 00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:05,803 with one's proximity to the authority figure. 333 00:14:05,886 --> 00:14:08,597 Well, yeah, but don't say it like that. 334 00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:11,308 (tires skidding) 335 00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:14,854 -(crashing) -MARTIN: Ooh! 336 00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:36,208 Nnymm. 337 00:14:37,459 --> 00:14:39,003 Nyahh! 338 00:14:39,086 --> 00:14:40,004 Uhhnng! 339 00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:41,046 -Aaah! -Aaah! 340 00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:47,344 Huh! 341 00:14:47,428 --> 00:14:50,598 Pretty soon you will be ready to try it with a real book. 342 00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:53,601 (laughing) 343 00:14:53,684 --> 00:14:55,019 Who would have thought 344 00:14:55,102 --> 00:14:56,937 that pushing a boy into the girls' lavatory 345 00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:58,439 could be such a thrill? 346 00:14:58,522 --> 00:15:00,816 The screams, the humiliation, 347 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,860 the fact that it wasn't me! 348 00:15:02,943 --> 00:15:04,653 I've never felt so alive. 349 00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:07,072 Great, Martin. Now the big test is tomorrow, 350 00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:09,783 -and I haven't even started-- -Who cares about some test? 351 00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:11,702 Life's too short for tests! 352 00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:13,370 Hey, I thought we had a deal! 353 00:15:13,454 --> 00:15:14,955 Ha, ha, ha! 354 00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:18,042 The Martin Prince you made a deal with no longer exists! 355 00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:20,502 Come on fellows, to the arcade! 356 00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:21,629 Cool, Martin! 357 00:15:21,712 --> 00:15:23,255 All right, Martin! 358 00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:25,424 BOYS (chanting): Martin! Martin! Martin! 359 00:15:25,507 --> 00:15:30,804 ♪♪ (humming "Row, row, row your boat") 360 00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:34,099 Bart? It's past your bedtime. 361 00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:36,936 Okay. 362 00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:38,854 This is hopeless. 363 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:41,982 Ohh... 364 00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:44,944 Well, old-timer, I guess this is the end of the road. 365 00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:47,279 I know I haven't always been a good kid 366 00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:50,240 but if I have to go to school tomorrow, 367 00:15:50,324 --> 00:15:51,867 I'll fail the test and be held back. 368 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,745 I just need one more day to study, Lord. 369 00:15:54,828 --> 00:15:56,246 I need your help. 370 00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:58,916 Prayer, the last refuge of a scoundrel. 371 00:15:58,999 --> 00:16:02,753 A teacher's strike, a power failure, a blizzard. 372 00:16:02,836 --> 00:16:04,588 Anything that will cancel school tomorrow. 373 00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:06,632 I know it's asking a lot, 374 00:16:06,715 --> 00:16:09,718 but if anyone can do it, you can. 375 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:13,472 Thanking you in advance, your pal, Bart Simpson. 376 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:23,899 ♪♪ ("The Hallelujah Chorus") 377 00:16:30,614 --> 00:16:32,950 (groaning) 378 00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:35,661 Wake up, Bart. Rise and shine, little guy. 379 00:16:35,744 --> 00:16:37,121 Time to wake up. 380 00:16:37,204 --> 00:16:39,498 Oh, no, no. 381 00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:41,041 Wake up and look at the snow. 382 00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:42,126 Huh? 383 00:16:42,209 --> 00:16:45,838 Whoa! Good morning world! 384 00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:48,048 MAN (on radio): Rise and shine, Springfield residents. 385 00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:50,384 It's the Bill and Marty Show. He's Bill. 386 00:16:50,467 --> 00:16:51,885 -He's Marty. -Two grown men 387 00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:53,637 who can't get enough of each other. 388 00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:55,264 BILL: And it looks like we've got some snow-formation 389 00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:56,849 -for all those flake-lovers out there. -ALL: Shh! 390 00:16:56,932 --> 00:16:58,600 -MARTY: Mm-hmm. -BILL: Springfield electric, 391 00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:00,853 gas and water plants are closed for the day. 392 00:17:00,936 --> 00:17:02,354 MARTY: Oh, now don't forget the nuclear power plant, Bill. 393 00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:04,023 -Please, please, please, please-- -That's closed, too. 394 00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:06,400 Whoo-hoo! All right! 395 00:17:06,483 --> 00:17:08,694 Now, for all you youngsters, you toddlers, 396 00:17:08,777 --> 00:17:10,195 this is what you've been waiting for. 397 00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:12,948 Springfield County schools are-- 398 00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,950 I can't read it. I'm too excited. 399 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,202 Uh-oh. Springfield County schools will be... 400 00:17:17,286 --> 00:17:18,454 -Please, please, please... -Closed! 401 00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:21,999 -All right, man! -Yeah! Woo-hoo-hoo! 402 00:17:22,082 --> 00:17:23,375 (children cheering) 403 00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:24,752 -Wait, come back-- -Your hat! 404 00:17:24,835 --> 00:17:27,963 -You're supposed to eat break-- -Wear your galoshes! 405 00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:29,631 Cowabunga! 406 00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:32,593 Remember to take a break if your arms go numb. 407 00:17:32,676 --> 00:17:34,887 -Hey. -I heard you last night, Bart. 408 00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:36,597 You prayed for this. 409 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,766 Now your prayers have been answered. 410 00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:40,059 I'm no theologian. 411 00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:42,269 I don't know who or what God is, exactly. 412 00:17:42,352 --> 00:17:44,521 All I know is he's a force more powerful 413 00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:45,856 than Mom and Dad put together, 414 00:17:45,939 --> 00:17:47,691 -and you owe him big. -(door slams) 415 00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:49,651 You're right. 416 00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:52,571 I asked for a miracle and I got it. 417 00:17:52,654 --> 00:17:53,655 I got to study, man. 418 00:17:58,494 --> 00:18:01,080 I'm not missing anything. Frozen earlobes. 419 00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:03,957 Trudging up that stupid sled hill over and over again. 420 00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:05,542 How good could it be? 421 00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:09,171 (children cheering, laughing) 422 00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:20,015 (laughing) 423 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,767 I haven't had this much fun in years. 424 00:18:21,850 --> 00:18:24,520 -Aah! -(laughs) Got you, Burnsie. 425 00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:27,022 (chuckles) Why, you young ragamuffin. 426 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,358 I was never one to back away from a snowball fight. 427 00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:31,193 Smithers, you may fire at will. 428 00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:32,194 Certainly, sir. 429 00:18:34,321 --> 00:18:35,781 ♪♪ 430 00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:41,662 I hereby declare this day to be "Snow Day-- 431 00:18:41,745 --> 00:18:44,123 The funnest day in the history of Springfield." 432 00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:45,874 (cheering) 433 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:49,878 ♪ Sleigh bells ring, are you listening? ♪ 434 00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:53,465 ♪ In the lane, snow is glistening ♪ 435 00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:57,052 ♪ A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight ♪ 436 00:18:57,136 --> 00:19:00,514 ♪ Walking in a winter wonderland ♪ 437 00:19:00,597 --> 00:19:03,767 ♪ Gone away is the bluebird ♪ 438 00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:05,978 ♪ Here to stay... ♪ 439 00:19:08,647 --> 00:19:10,983 Got to study, got to study, got to study! 440 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:17,281 "Chapter Six-- Four Days in Philadelphia. 441 00:19:17,364 --> 00:19:18,782 "The first Continental Congress 442 00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:20,284 "faced a difficult job. 443 00:19:20,367 --> 00:19:23,453 "Could the delegates agree on recommendations 444 00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:24,913 that all Americans could support?" 445 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:28,125 We hold these truths to be self-evident... 446 00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:31,503 "We hold these truths to be self-evident." 447 00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:33,297 ...that all men are created equal. 448 00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:34,548 "...that all men are created equal." 449 00:19:34,631 --> 00:19:36,091 That from that equal creation 450 00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,719 they derive rights, inherent and inalienable-- 451 00:19:38,802 --> 00:19:41,430 Hey, look everybody-- it's snowing! 452 00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:44,141 -In the middle of July? -It's a miracle. 453 00:19:44,224 --> 00:19:47,686 Fellows, I've invented something fun. The sled! 454 00:19:47,769 --> 00:19:50,564 (excited chatter) 455 00:19:50,647 --> 00:19:52,691 MAN: Hey, look, everybody! 456 00:19:52,774 --> 00:19:55,485 John Hancock's writing his name in the snow! 457 00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:01,783 Do you want to be held back a grade? 458 00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:03,202 Concentrate, man! 459 00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:06,413 (slapping continues) 460 00:20:12,836 --> 00:20:14,254 Later, Mrs. K. 461 00:20:17,799 --> 00:20:19,718 Please turn in your exam, Bart. 462 00:20:19,801 --> 00:20:22,137 Class is over. 463 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,473 Do you think you could grade it now, please? 464 00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:26,391 Well, all right. 465 00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:28,477 Let me get "old red." 466 00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:31,480 Mm-hmm. Yup. 467 00:20:31,563 --> 00:20:33,565 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 468 00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:37,069 Well, Bart, it's a 59. That's another "F." 469 00:20:37,152 --> 00:20:39,821 Oh, no. I can't believe it. 470 00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:42,324 I know, I know. Another year together. 471 00:20:42,407 --> 00:20:45,327 Oh! It's going to be hell. 472 00:20:46,536 --> 00:20:50,374 (sobbing) 473 00:20:50,457 --> 00:20:51,875 What's the matter? 474 00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:54,753 I would think you'd be used to failing by now. 475 00:20:54,836 --> 00:20:56,755 No, you don't understand. 476 00:20:56,838 --> 00:20:59,841 I really tried this time. I mean, I really tried. 477 00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:01,927 There, there. 478 00:21:02,010 --> 00:21:05,764 This is as good as I can do and I still failed. 479 00:21:05,847 --> 00:21:08,934 Well, a 59-- it's a high "F." 480 00:21:09,017 --> 00:21:10,519 Who am I kidding? 481 00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:13,772 I really am a failure. (sobbing) 482 00:21:13,855 --> 00:21:16,566 Oh! Now I know how George Washington felt 483 00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:17,943 when he surrendered Fort Necessity 484 00:21:18,026 --> 00:21:19,820 to the French in 1754. 485 00:21:19,903 --> 00:21:22,656 -What? -Oh, you know, 1754, 486 00:21:22,739 --> 00:21:24,533 the famous defeat to the French. (sobs) 487 00:21:24,616 --> 00:21:27,160 My God, Bart, you're right. 488 00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:28,537 -So? -You just demonstrated 489 00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:31,248 applied knowledge, and due to the difficulty 490 00:21:31,331 --> 00:21:32,958 and relative obscurity of the reference, 491 00:21:33,041 --> 00:21:35,210 you deserve an extra point on your exam. 492 00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:36,712 Hey, it's only fair. 493 00:21:36,795 --> 00:21:38,755 You mean, I passed? 494 00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:40,007 Just barely. 495 00:21:40,090 --> 00:21:41,550 (gasps) I passed. 496 00:21:41,633 --> 00:21:42,718 I got a "D-". 497 00:21:42,801 --> 00:21:44,303 I passed! 498 00:21:44,386 --> 00:21:46,471 All right! Mwah! 499 00:21:46,555 --> 00:21:48,390 (singsongy) I passed, I passed, I passed, I passed! 500 00:21:48,473 --> 00:21:51,018 I got a "D-"! I passed! 501 00:21:51,101 --> 00:21:52,644 I got a "D-"! I passed! 502 00:21:52,728 --> 00:21:53,687 I got a "D-"! 503 00:21:53,770 --> 00:21:56,940 I passed! I passed! I-- 504 00:21:57,024 --> 00:21:59,276 Kissed the teacher! 505 00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:07,284 We're proud of you, boy. 506 00:22:07,367 --> 00:22:08,452 Thanks, Dad, 507 00:22:08,535 --> 00:22:10,954 but part of this "D-" belongs to God. 508 00:22:13,790 --> 00:22:15,959 ♪♪ 509 00:22:59,795 --> 00:23:00,754 Shh! 510 00:23:04,049 --> 00:23:07,260 CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.