1 00:00:03,211 --> 00:00:04,879 (clears throat) Hello everyone. 2 00:00:04,963 --> 00:00:08,550 You know, Halloween is a very strange holiday. 3 00:00:08,633 --> 00:00:11,344 Personally, I don't understand it. 4 00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:14,597 Kids worshipping ghosts, pretending to be devils. 5 00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:17,642 Things on TV that are completely inappropriate 6 00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:19,436 for younger viewers. 7 00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:22,105 Things like the following half-hour. 8 00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:23,898 Nothing seems to bother my kids, 9 00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:25,191 but tonight's show-- 10 00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:26,735 which I totally wash my hands of-- 11 00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:28,695 is really scary. 12 00:00:28,778 --> 00:00:30,405 So, if you have sensitive children, 13 00:00:30,488 --> 00:00:33,408 maybe you should tuck them into bed early tonight 14 00:00:33,491 --> 00:00:36,661 instead of writing us angry letters tomorrow. 15 00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:38,830 Thanks for your attention. 16 00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:42,792 ♪♪ 17 00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:54,387 (screams and howls) 18 00:01:08,359 --> 00:01:10,111 Ooh, what a haul this year. 19 00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:11,863 I love Halloween. 20 00:01:13,281 --> 00:01:15,200 Heh, heh. Wait a minute. 21 00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:17,869 Let's see what the kids are up to. 22 00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:20,538 ...and the policeman on the other end of the phone said 23 00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:22,457 "We have traced the call. 24 00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:24,626 "It's coming from the floor below you. 25 00:01:24,709 --> 00:01:26,461 Get out of the house!" 26 00:01:26,544 --> 00:01:28,505 But it was too late. 27 00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:30,048 End of story. 28 00:01:30,131 --> 00:01:32,050 Yawn. I heard that when I was in the third grade. 29 00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:33,093 It's not scary. 30 00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:34,135 -Is too! -Is not. 31 00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:35,178 -Is too! -Is not! 32 00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:36,262 -Is too. -Is not! 33 00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:38,598 Fine! Then you tell one scarier. 34 00:01:38,681 --> 00:01:40,225 Flashlight, please. 35 00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:45,396 Here's a story that's really scarifying. 36 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:46,397 LISA: Oh, brother. 37 00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:48,108 I call it... 38 00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:52,862 (Bart laughing maniacally) 39 00:01:56,991 --> 00:01:58,576 That's all of it. Sign here. 40 00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:00,745 There you are, my man, 41 00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:02,539 and a dollar for yourself. 42 00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:05,875 A buck. I'm glad there's a curse on this place. 43 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:06,918 Huh? 44 00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:08,962 Well, it's all ours. 45 00:02:09,045 --> 00:02:11,548 I still can't believe how inexpensive it was. 46 00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:13,424 Motivated seller, Marge. 47 00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:15,718 Well, he certainly must have been motivated. 48 00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:18,429 Prime location, 18 bedrooms, moat. 49 00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:20,265 We shouldn't be able to afford this. 50 00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:22,308 So we got a good deal for once. 51 00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:24,269 Quit fighting it. 52 00:02:24,352 --> 00:02:26,187 It just seems too good to be true. 53 00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:29,816 Ow! Mom, Bart threw a book at me! 54 00:02:29,899 --> 00:02:31,109 -Did not. -Did too! 55 00:02:31,192 --> 00:02:32,402 -Did not! -Did too! 56 00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:34,571 MALE VOICE: Get out! 57 00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:36,698 MARGE: What on Earth was that? 58 00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:38,491 Hmm. Probably just the house settling. 59 00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:39,576 (Marge groans) 60 00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:47,709 Hmm, this kitchen certainly could use a woman's touch. 61 00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:51,421 Homer! 62 00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:53,173 What's this thing in the corner? 63 00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:55,675 -I dunno. -It looks like a vortex-- 64 00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:58,052 a gateway into another dimension. 65 00:02:58,136 --> 00:03:00,305 Ooh, a vortex. 66 00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:01,806 Catch! 67 00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:07,729 Hey, pretty slick. 68 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:10,064 Huh? 69 00:03:12,483 --> 00:03:15,236 "Quit throwing your garbage into our dimension." 70 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:18,656 Mom, Dad! Help! 71 00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,200 (gagging) 72 00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:22,869 MALE VOICE: Get out. 73 00:03:22,952 --> 00:03:27,040 Okay, boy, let's see you talk yourself out of this one. 74 00:03:27,123 --> 00:03:30,376 I can feel an evil presence in this house. 75 00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:31,669 -Evil? -Quiet, Lisa. 76 00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:33,379 You're scaring your mother. 77 00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:36,132 Children, get your coats. We're leaving this house right now. 78 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,551 Now wait a minute, Marge. 79 00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:40,345 It's only natural there would be some things wrong 80 00:03:40,428 --> 00:03:41,846 with an old house like this. 81 00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:44,390 It's a fixer-upper. 82 00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:47,477 What's the problem? We get a bunch of priests in here-- 83 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,520 I'm not going to live in a house of evil 84 00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:51,481 just to save a few dollars. 85 00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:53,691 Don't be so stubborn! 86 00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:55,944 We're not talking about a few dollars. 87 00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:59,447 We're talking about a few thousand dollars! 88 00:03:59,530 --> 00:04:00,949 (screaming) 89 00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:03,952 Ooh! It's got great high ceilings. 90 00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:05,828 (screaming) 91 00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:08,039 Tell you what, 92 00:04:08,122 --> 00:04:11,292 let's, um, sleep on it, okay? 93 00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:14,003 All right, but if anything happens-- 94 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,213 What could happen? 95 00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:16,089 Mmm... 96 00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:24,138 MALE VOICE: They are all against you, Bart. 97 00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:26,474 You must kill them all. 98 00:04:26,557 --> 00:04:29,560 They all must die. 99 00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:31,437 Are you my conscience? 100 00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:33,106 I... 101 00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:35,692 Yes, I am. 102 00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:39,654 Lisa. Lisa. 103 00:04:39,737 --> 00:04:43,074 The butcher knife, Lisa. 104 00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:51,082 They are all against me. 105 00:04:51,165 --> 00:04:54,836 They all must die. 106 00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:03,511 Marge. 107 00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:05,722 Oh, Marge? 108 00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:09,267 MARGE: I'm in the kitchen, Homer. 109 00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:20,111 MALE VOICE: Die! Die! 110 00:05:20,194 --> 00:05:22,322 Everybody, die. 111 00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:25,325 (maniacal laughter) 112 00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:29,662 (gasping) 113 00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:31,706 What's going on out here? 114 00:05:31,789 --> 00:05:34,542 Homer, Bart, Lisa, Maggie, stop it! 115 00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:36,044 -Sorry. Sorry, Bart. -Sorry, Dad. 116 00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:37,295 Sorry, Mom. Sorry, Mag. 117 00:05:37,378 --> 00:05:38,338 Well, that does it. 118 00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:39,464 Children, get dressed. We're leaving. 119 00:05:39,547 --> 00:05:41,758 Ah, c'mon Marge, you said you'd sleep on it. 120 00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:43,426 I don't care what I said. 121 00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:45,261 This family has had its differences, and we've squabbled, 122 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,221 but we never had knife fights before, 123 00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:49,140 and I blame this house. 124 00:05:49,223 --> 00:05:51,809 Mom, Dad, look! 125 00:05:53,895 --> 00:05:56,064 LISA: It's an ancient Indian burial ground. 126 00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:59,025 BART: Man, this place has got everything. 127 00:05:59,108 --> 00:06:00,693 An ancient Indian what? 128 00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:07,158 Mr. Plute, Homer Simpson here. 129 00:06:07,241 --> 00:06:09,035 When you sold me this house 130 00:06:09,118 --> 00:06:11,371 you forgot to mention one little thing. 131 00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:16,751 You didn't tell me it was built on an Indian burial ground! 132 00:06:16,834 --> 00:06:19,754 No. You. Didn't! 133 00:06:19,837 --> 00:06:22,382 Well, that's not my recollection. 134 00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:26,386 Yeah, well-- All right, good-bye. 135 00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:29,097 He says he mentioned it five or six times. 136 00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:30,556 Let's go, children. 137 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,141 -Aw, gee, Marge. -Homer-- 138 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:33,893 MALE VOICE: You will die. 139 00:06:33,976 --> 00:06:36,562 You will die slowly. 140 00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:38,815 Your stomach will swell. 141 00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:42,318 Your intestines will writhe and boil. 142 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,570 Your eyes will burst 143 00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:46,906 and some horrible stuff-- 144 00:06:46,989 --> 00:06:48,699 possibly your brains-- 145 00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:52,078 will start coming out through your nose. 146 00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:54,122 Shush! Shut up! 147 00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:56,666 Quit trying to push us around! 148 00:06:56,749 --> 00:06:59,460 Stop saying those horrible things 149 00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:01,546 and show some manners! 150 00:07:06,634 --> 00:07:08,678 Look at me. I've never been so angry. 151 00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:10,513 My hands are shaking. 152 00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:12,348 Better than your eyes bursting. 153 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,100 -Do it again. -What? 154 00:07:14,183 --> 00:07:16,185 -Make the walls bleed. -No. 155 00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,855 Hey, man, we own you. Let's see some blood. 156 00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:21,023 I don't have to entertain you. 157 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:23,025 Come on, man, do it. Do the blood thing. 158 00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:25,361 C'mon! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! 159 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,280 Why are you trying to scare us? 160 00:07:27,363 --> 00:07:29,240 Are you trying to keep us from getting close to you? 161 00:07:29,323 --> 00:07:31,242 Maybe even loving you? 162 00:07:31,325 --> 00:07:32,493 Leave me alone. 163 00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:33,828 Don't talk to her like that. 164 00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:35,079 Hey listen, lady... 165 00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:36,956 Don't call me lady. 166 00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:38,875 My name is Marge Simpson. 167 00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:41,878 This is my family and we're not going anywhere. 168 00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:43,796 We're all going to have to live together 169 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:47,133 so you better get used to it. Please. 170 00:07:47,216 --> 00:07:50,428 Can I have a minute to think about this? 171 00:07:50,511 --> 00:07:51,471 Sure. 172 00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:57,393 Hmm... 173 00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,645 Life with the Simpsons. 174 00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:01,814 What choice do I have? 175 00:08:02,773 --> 00:08:04,984 (rumbling) 176 00:08:07,361 --> 00:08:10,239 -HOMER: Wow. -BART: Bitchin'! 177 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:11,908 It chose to destroy itself 178 00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,534 rather than live with us. 179 00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:15,745 You can't help but feel a little rejected. 180 00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:23,669 -(Homer shudders) -LISA: That wasn't scary at all, Bart. 181 00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:26,130 Oh yeah? Well, how about... 182 00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:27,673 this severed finger?! 183 00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:33,554 -Eww, baby spit! -(laughing) 184 00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:36,098 Well, that last story was just a warm-up 185 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:39,060 for this macabre tale which I call... 186 00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:47,860 Homer, all these flies. 187 00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:49,612 Not to worry. 188 00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:51,197 I'll just turn on the trusty bug zapper. 189 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:54,408 -(flies buzzing) -(zapping) 190 00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:56,953 Ooh, that was a big mama. Heh-heh-heh. 191 00:08:57,036 --> 00:08:59,539 (humming) 192 00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:13,928 That should just about do it. 193 00:09:14,011 --> 00:09:16,097 Man alive, there's nothing better 194 00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:18,224 than a hamburger grilled to perfection-- 195 00:09:20,309 --> 00:09:22,186 Cool, man! 196 00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:25,189 (gasping) 197 00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:37,577 Your burgers are getting cold, guy-- 198 00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,245 Holy moly. 199 00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:46,210 (screaming) 200 00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:48,212 (screaming) 201 00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:49,380 (screaming) 202 00:09:49,463 --> 00:09:50,423 Huh? 203 00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:15,031 (quivering) 204 00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:16,324 Greetings, Earthlings. 205 00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:19,702 I am Kang. Do not be frightened. 206 00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:22,413 We mean you no harm. 207 00:10:22,496 --> 00:10:23,873 You speak English. 208 00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:26,042 I am actually speaking Rigellian. 209 00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:27,543 By an astonishing coincidence, 210 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:30,129 both of our languages are exactly the same. 211 00:10:30,212 --> 00:10:31,797 Well, what are you gonna do with us, man? 212 00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:34,425 Kodos and I are taking you to Rigel Four-- 213 00:10:34,508 --> 00:10:38,471 a world of infinite delights to tantalize your senses 214 00:10:38,554 --> 00:10:41,515 and challenge your intellectual limitations. 215 00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:43,225 Look, I know that to you 216 00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:45,269 we Simpsons are a lower order of life. 217 00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:48,314 We face that prejudice every day of our lives, 218 00:10:48,397 --> 00:10:50,399 but we are happy on our little planet. 219 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,401 We throw ourselves on your mercy. 220 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,695 -Please return us to-- -KODOS: Dinnertime. 221 00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:56,739 Hey, get a load of that spread. 222 00:10:56,822 --> 00:10:58,115 Here you go, Earthlings. 223 00:10:58,199 --> 00:11:00,576 Take all you want, but eat all you take. 224 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,578 Well, thank you very much, mister...? 225 00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:04,747 To pronounce it correctly, 226 00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:07,667 I would have to pull out your tongue. 227 00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,043 Eww. 228 00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:12,755 -Fried shrimp. -Sloppy Joes. 229 00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:14,590 Smothered pork chops. 230 00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,884 Look Homer, radish rosettes. 231 00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:18,302 These are hard to make. 232 00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,179 They're a very advanced race. 233 00:11:20,262 --> 00:11:23,683 Come, Earthlings, eat. Grow large with food. 234 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,980 There's something not quite right about this. 235 00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:31,732 The girl's right. 236 00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:34,443 Let's get some applesauce out here for these pork chops. 237 00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:37,363 What are you looking at, buddy? 238 00:11:37,446 --> 00:11:40,116 Your wife is quite a dish. 239 00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:42,785 Ooh, thanks. 240 00:11:42,868 --> 00:11:45,371 KANG: It is our great pleasure to provide you 241 00:11:45,454 --> 00:11:47,248 with unlimited entertainment on your... 242 00:11:47,331 --> 00:11:49,917 intergalactic journey. 243 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,169 On this cable system, we receive over one million 244 00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:54,630 channels from the furthest reaches of the galaxy. 245 00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:55,840 You get HBO? 246 00:11:55,923 --> 00:11:57,258 No. That would cost extra. 247 00:11:57,341 --> 00:11:59,510 And over here is our crowning achievement 248 00:11:59,593 --> 00:12:01,929 in amusement technology-- an electronic version 249 00:12:02,012 --> 00:12:04,014 of what you call table tennis. 250 00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:06,434 Your primitive paddles have been replaced by an electronic-- 251 00:12:06,517 --> 00:12:09,061 Hey, that's just Pong. Get with the times, man. 252 00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:12,356 Marge and I played that old game before we were married. 253 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,358 Well, we did build this spaceship, you know. 254 00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:15,901 Anyone from a species 255 00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:17,278 that has mastered intergalactic travel, 256 00:12:17,361 --> 00:12:19,196 raise your hand. 257 00:12:24,952 --> 00:12:26,620 All right, then. 258 00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:29,331 Sorry. Your game is very nice. 259 00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:33,878 Dinnertime. 260 00:12:33,961 --> 00:12:35,838 Hey, how come we never see you guys eat? 261 00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:39,717 Oh, we wouldn't want to spoil our appetite 262 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:44,221 for... the great feast when we land on Rigel Four. 263 00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:45,765 Ooh, a feast! 264 00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:47,224 Will we be invited? 265 00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:49,518 Oh, you'll be at the feast. 266 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:53,189 I have a feeling you'll be the guests of honor. 267 00:12:53,272 --> 00:12:56,066 (ominous laughter) 268 00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:57,818 Tell us more about this feast. 269 00:12:57,902 --> 00:12:59,111 No, no, eat now. 270 00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:00,613 When we arrive, 271 00:13:00,696 --> 00:13:02,490 there will be plenty of time 272 00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:04,909 to chew the fat. 273 00:13:04,992 --> 00:13:08,537 (laughter) 274 00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:14,460 Very good, Earth boy. 275 00:13:16,086 --> 00:13:18,798 (oohing and ahhing) 276 00:13:18,881 --> 00:13:22,510 Excellent, Mr. Simpson. Excellent. 277 00:13:30,851 --> 00:13:31,894 (gasps) 278 00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:36,524 This will give the humans the perfect flavor. 279 00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:45,115 (gasps) 280 00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:51,997 Stop! 281 00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:53,582 Don't you see what's happening here? 282 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:56,377 They're fattening us up so they can eat us! 283 00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:58,170 Oh, come on, Lisa. 284 00:13:58,254 --> 00:13:59,880 If you don't believe me, 285 00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:00,923 then just look at this book that I found. 286 00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:01,924 (all gasp) 287 00:14:03,592 --> 00:14:05,052 Look! She's right! 288 00:14:05,135 --> 00:14:06,846 Humans, you have stopped eating. 289 00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:09,348 Listen, you big, stupid space creature. 290 00:14:09,431 --> 00:14:13,686 Nobody, but nobody eats the Simpsons. 291 00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:15,437 -I beg your pardon? -Don't play dumb with me. 292 00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:16,772 We found your book. 293 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,023 You mean this? 294 00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:20,442 It's a harmless cookbook. 295 00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:22,319 It's just a little dusty. 296 00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:26,782 (sighs of relief) 297 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,661 Wait a minute. 298 00:14:32,913 --> 00:14:35,332 -Aha! -(gasping) 299 00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:38,711 Wait. There's still more space dust on here. 300 00:14:40,337 --> 00:14:41,672 (sighs of relief) 301 00:14:41,755 --> 00:14:44,425 Let me get this straight. You thought-- 302 00:14:44,508 --> 00:14:46,510 They thought we were going to eat them. 303 00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:49,179 Good God, is this some kind of joke? 304 00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:52,016 No. They're serious. 305 00:14:52,099 --> 00:14:54,685 Well why were you trying to make us eat all the time? 306 00:14:54,768 --> 00:14:57,730 Make you eat? We merely provided a sumptuous banquet, 307 00:14:57,813 --> 00:15:00,983 and, frankly, you people made pigs of yourselves. 308 00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:03,694 I slaved in the kitchen for days 309 00:15:03,777 --> 00:15:06,155 for you people and-- 310 00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:08,991 Well, if you wanted to make Shiroc the Preparer cry, 311 00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:11,035 mission accomplished. 312 00:15:11,118 --> 00:15:14,997 SHIROC: You aren't the only beings who have emotions, you know. 313 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:24,590 We offered you paradise. 314 00:15:24,673 --> 00:15:26,133 You would have experienced emotions 315 00:15:26,216 --> 00:15:29,345 100 times greater than what you call love, 316 00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:32,056 and 1000 times greater than what you call fun. 317 00:15:32,139 --> 00:15:34,516 You would have been treated like gods 318 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:37,019 and lived forever in beauty, 319 00:15:37,102 --> 00:15:41,106 but, now, because of your distrustful nature, 320 00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:42,274 that can never be. 321 00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:45,319 For a superior race, they really rub it in. 322 00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:51,867 There were monsters on that ship, 323 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,827 and truly we were them. 324 00:15:53,911 --> 00:15:55,412 MARGE: Lisa, see what we mean when we say 325 00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:57,539 you're too smart for your own good? 326 00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:59,792 -BART: Way to go, Lise. -HOMER: Yeah, thanks, Lisa. 327 00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:00,876 (Marge groans) 328 00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:06,340 (gagging) 329 00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:08,676 Hello. Something scary happening. 330 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,679 (gagging) 331 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,765 Hey, Poindexter, it's Halloween. 332 00:16:14,848 --> 00:16:16,517 Put the book away. 333 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:17,977 For your information, 334 00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:20,688 I'm about to read you a classic tale of terror 335 00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:22,523 by Edgar Allan Poe. 336 00:16:22,606 --> 00:16:24,942 Wait a minute. That's a school book. 337 00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:26,986 Don't worry, Bart, you won't learn anything. 338 00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:28,737 It's called... 339 00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:33,617 "Once upon a midnight dreary... 340 00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:36,245 NARRATOR: "While I pondered, weak and weary 341 00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:39,498 "over many a quaint and curious volume 342 00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:41,041 "of forgotten lore-- 343 00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:42,584 "while I nodded, nearly napping, 344 00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:44,128 "suddenly there came a tapping 345 00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:45,379 -(tapping at door) -(Homer shrieks) 346 00:16:45,462 --> 00:16:47,089 "as of some one gently rapping, 347 00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:48,757 rapping at my chamber door. 348 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:51,135 -'Tis some visitor..." -I muttered, 349 00:16:51,218 --> 00:16:53,971 "...tapping at my chamber door; 350 00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:56,306 Only this, and nothing more." 351 00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:58,600 BART: Are we scared yet? 352 00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:00,019 LISA: Bart, he's establishing mood. 353 00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:01,437 (snoring) 354 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,647 NARRATOR: "Ah, distinctly I remember 355 00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:05,441 "it was in the bleak December, 356 00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:07,067 "and each separate dying ember 357 00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:09,069 "wrought its ghost upon the floor. 358 00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:11,238 "Eagerly I wished the morrow; 359 00:17:11,321 --> 00:17:13,073 "vainly I had sought to borrow 360 00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:15,159 from my books surcease of sorrow--" 361 00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:17,286 Hmm? Huh? 362 00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:19,747 Sorrow for the lost Lenore--" 363 00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,415 Oh, Lenore. 364 00:17:21,498 --> 00:17:23,417 "For the rare and radiant maiden 365 00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:25,502 "whom the angels named Lenore-- 366 00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:28,630 nameless here forevermore." 367 00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:30,758 Ah! (teeth chattering) 368 00:17:30,841 --> 00:17:32,801 "And the silken, sad uncertain rustling 369 00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:35,804 "of each purple curtain thrilled me-- 370 00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,473 "Filled me with fantastic terrors 371 00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:39,308 "never felt before; 372 00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:40,768 "so that now, to still the beating of my heart 373 00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:42,352 "I stood repeating... 374 00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:44,396 'tis a visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; 375 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:45,898 This it is, and nothing more. 376 00:17:45,981 --> 00:17:47,900 "Presently my soul grew stronger; 377 00:17:47,983 --> 00:17:49,818 "hesitating then no longer 378 00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,361 -Sir... -"Said I... 379 00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:53,238 ...or madam, 380 00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:55,074 truly your forgiveness I implore; 381 00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:57,201 but the fact is, I was napping 382 00:17:57,284 --> 00:18:00,829 and so gently you came rapping and so faintly you came tapping, 383 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,414 tapping at my chamber door. 384 00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:04,333 That I scarce was sure I heard you. 385 00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:07,211 "Here I opened wide the door;" 386 00:18:07,294 --> 00:18:09,171 BART: This better be good. 387 00:18:09,254 --> 00:18:12,007 "Darkness there, and nothing more." 388 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,592 Huh? 389 00:18:13,675 --> 00:18:14,593 BART: You know what would have been 390 00:18:14,676 --> 00:18:15,761 scarier than nothing? 391 00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:17,596 -What? -Anything! 392 00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:19,515 "Back into the chamber turning, 393 00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:21,600 "all my soul within me burning, 394 00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:23,393 "Soon again I heard a tapping, 395 00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:25,771 -"something louder than before. -(knocking) 396 00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:27,898 -(screams) Surely, -"said I, 397 00:18:27,981 --> 00:18:30,150 surely that is something at my window-lattice; 398 00:18:30,234 --> 00:18:31,902 Let me see then, what thereat is 399 00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:34,029 and this mystery explore. 400 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,948 "Open here I flung the shutter, 401 00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:37,574 "when, with many a flirt and flutter, 402 00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:39,284 "in there stepped a stately raven 403 00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:40,702 "of the saintly days of yore. 404 00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:42,162 "Not the least obeisance made he; 405 00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:43,789 "Not a minute stopped or stayed he 406 00:18:43,872 --> 00:18:45,374 "but with mien of lord or lady, 407 00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:47,459 "perched above my chamber door-- 408 00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:49,128 "Perched upon a bust of Pallas 409 00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:50,712 "just above my chamber door-- 410 00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:53,674 "Perched, and sat, and nothing more. 411 00:18:53,757 --> 00:18:55,425 (laughs) Though thy crest 412 00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:58,262 -be shorn and shaven, thou, -"I said, 413 00:18:58,345 --> 00:19:00,222 art sure no craven, 414 00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:02,224 ghastly grim and ancient raven 415 00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:03,976 wandering from the nightly shore-- 416 00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:05,060 Tell me, 417 00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,146 tell me what thy lordly name is 418 00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:08,689 on the night's Plutonian shore. 419 00:19:08,772 --> 00:19:10,274 Quoth the raven..." 420 00:19:10,357 --> 00:19:12,317 -Eat my shorts. -Bart, stop it. 421 00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:13,527 He says "Nevermore" 422 00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:15,237 and that's all he'll ever say. 423 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:16,822 BART: Okay, okay. 424 00:19:17,906 --> 00:19:19,366 Ooh. 425 00:19:19,449 --> 00:19:20,909 (sniffing) Hmm. 426 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:23,662 "Then, methought, the air grew denser, 427 00:19:23,745 --> 00:19:25,664 "perfumed by some unseen censer... 428 00:19:25,747 --> 00:19:28,375 -D'oh! Stupid censer. -"...swung by Seraphim 429 00:19:28,458 --> 00:19:31,461 "whose footfalls tinkled on the tufted floor. 430 00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:32,754 -Wretch. -"I cried, 431 00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:34,131 thy God hath lent thee-- 432 00:19:34,214 --> 00:19:36,216 By these angels he hath sent thee 433 00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:38,510 respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore! 434 00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:42,264 Quaff, o, quaff this kind nepenthe 435 00:19:42,347 --> 00:19:44,183 and forget this lost Lenore! 436 00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:45,350 "Quoth the raven 437 00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:46,768 -Nevermore! -D'oh! 438 00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:49,021 Be that word our sign of parting, 439 00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:50,105 bird or fiend! 440 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:51,356 "I shrieked, upstarting-- 441 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,025 Get thee back into the tempest, 442 00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:55,360 and the night's Plutonian shore! 443 00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:58,739 Leave no black plume as a token of the lie 444 00:19:58,822 --> 00:20:00,699 thy soul hath spoken! 445 00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:03,202 Leave my loneliness unbroken! 446 00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:04,953 Quit the bust above my door! 447 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,623 Take thy beak from out my heart 448 00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:11,210 and take thy form from off my door! 449 00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:13,212 -"Quoth the raven" -Nevermore! 450 00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:16,131 Take thy beak from out my heart 451 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:19,051 and take thy form from off my door. 452 00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:20,844 -"Quoth the raven -Nevermore! 453 00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:22,221 -Why you little-- -Uh-oh! 454 00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:25,015 (grunting, shouting) 455 00:20:25,098 --> 00:20:27,017 Come back here, you little raven! 456 00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:33,649 (grunting, shouting) 457 00:20:36,443 --> 00:20:38,612 D'oh! It missed. (shouts) 458 00:20:38,695 --> 00:20:41,406 (echoing) Nevermore, nevermore, nevermore, nevermore. 459 00:20:42,574 --> 00:20:45,369 (grunting, shouting) 460 00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:48,747 (shouts) 461 00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:51,792 Ow! D'oh! 462 00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:53,252 "And the raven, 463 00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:55,212 "never flitting, still is sitting, 464 00:20:55,295 --> 00:20:58,548 "still is sitting on the pallid bust of Pallas 465 00:20:58,632 --> 00:21:00,467 "just above my chamber door; 466 00:21:00,550 --> 00:21:02,052 "And his eyes have all the seeming 467 00:21:02,135 --> 00:21:04,638 "of a demon's that is dreaming. 468 00:21:04,721 --> 00:21:06,723 "And the lamplight o'er him streaming 469 00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:08,642 "throws his shadow on the floor; 470 00:21:08,725 --> 00:21:11,311 "and my soul from out that shadow 471 00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:13,146 "that lies floating on the floor 472 00:21:13,230 --> 00:21:14,648 "shall be lifted-- 473 00:21:14,731 --> 00:21:16,149 nevermore!" 474 00:21:16,233 --> 00:21:18,026 Heh, heh, heh. 475 00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:21,446 Lisa, that wasn't scary. 476 00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:22,990 Not even for a poem. 477 00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:24,700 Well, it was written in 1845. 478 00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:27,369 Maybe people were easier to scare back then. 479 00:21:27,452 --> 00:21:29,162 Oh, yeah. Like when you look at 480 00:21:29,246 --> 00:21:30,789 "Friday the 13th, Part One." 481 00:21:30,872 --> 00:21:32,499 It's pretty tame by today's standards. 482 00:21:32,582 --> 00:21:34,459 MARGE: Children, bedtime! 483 00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:38,171 I guess I'll have no trouble getting to sleep tonight. 484 00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:44,428 (Homer shuddering) 485 00:21:55,897 --> 00:21:58,984 Oh, no, Marge! Come on, please. 486 00:21:59,067 --> 00:22:01,778 Homer, I'm not sleeping with the lights on. 487 00:22:01,862 --> 00:22:03,989 They're just children's stories. 488 00:22:04,072 --> 00:22:05,407 They can't hurt you. 489 00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:09,536 (quavering) 490 00:22:11,538 --> 00:22:12,914 Heh, heh, heh! 491 00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:16,293 Oh... Oh, I hate Halloween. 492 00:22:16,376 --> 00:22:19,171 (wolf howls) 493 00:22:22,674 --> 00:22:24,843 ♪♪ 494 00:23:06,343 --> 00:23:07,302 Shh! 495 00:23:10,347 --> 00:23:13,266 CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.