1 00:00:04,462 --> 00:00:05,880 阿森一族 2 00:00:06,756 --> 00:00:07,966 (歡迎蒞臨春田核電廠) 3 00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:12,470 (春田小學) 4 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:18,935 (我以後再也不會影印我的屁股) 5 00:00:23,064 --> 00:00:26,943 (注意安全) 6 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,195 (《媽媽雜誌》、小丑庫斯提麥片) 7 00:01:31,674 --> 00:01:34,552 (舊魚塘) 8 00:01:44,312 --> 00:01:46,481 小朋友,你們釣到什麼東西嗎? 9 00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:47,649 還沒有,先生 10 00:01:47,732 --> 00:01:49,734 你們用什麼魚餌? 11 00:01:49,818 --> 00:01:52,904 我哥用蟲,我沒有放餌 12 00:01:52,987 --> 00:01:56,116 因為我只想要單純享受釣魚樂趣 13 00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:58,326 原來,小朋友,你叫什麼名字? 14 00:01:58,409 --> 00:02:00,286 我叫巴特辛普森,你邊位呀? 15 00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:02,413 我叫大衛沙遁 16 00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:05,542 我是記者 時常四處調查各種事件 17 00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:08,711 我必須說 我們以前不敢這樣說話 18 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:11,131 現在的細路都是這樣,先生 19 00:02:12,298 --> 00:02:14,092 好,今晚要加餸了 20 00:02:16,427 --> 00:02:17,720 等等 21 00:02:17,929 --> 00:02:20,014 一、二 22 00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:21,307 三 23 00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:28,773 (變種魚現身舊魚塘 核電廠不用負責嗎?) 24 00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:31,151 (變種魚現身… 城鎮雕像被破壞) 25 00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:35,321 (變種疑雲 伯恩斯否認與核電廠有關) 26 00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:38,199 (州長下令調查核電廠) 27 00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:42,203 貝莉州長總算是下定決心 28 00:02:42,370 --> 00:02:44,622 要調查核電廠了 29 00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:46,499 如果我是州長 30 00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:48,835 我就會把精力用在更重要的事情上 31 00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:51,296 -例如呢? -例如將七日假 32 00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:54,132 還給流血流汗的勞工 33 00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:55,925 自己同老細講呀… 34 00:02:56,092 --> 00:02:57,844 完全發噏瘋 35 00:02:57,927 --> 00:03:00,096 我日日辛苦工作 36 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,806 你快遲到了,荷馬 37 00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:03,308 那又怎樣,有人會幫我打卡 38 00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:04,851 不要再出事了,爸 39 00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:06,936 -再整多些變種吧,爸 -我會先將你打腫 40 00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:14,277 不會吧,只剩原味 41 00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:17,322 乞人憎,祝你們撐到死 42 00:03:17,405 --> 00:03:19,699 我為什麼成日遲到? 43 00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:22,410 各位無用的員工,聽住 44 00:03:22,994 --> 00:03:24,204 不過後 45 00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:27,874 政府要稽查我們的電廠 46 00:03:27,957 --> 00:03:29,125 (歡迎政府稽查團臨指教) 47 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,543 請各位不要多嘴,扮得越忙越好 48 00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:31,920 完畢 49 00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:34,464 說得好,老細,弊,他們到了 50 00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:36,090 快扶我 51 00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:42,305 好了,大家把蓋革計數器打開 52 00:03:45,433 --> 00:03:48,186 別擔心,那只是一般的環境輻射 53 00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:51,105 所有的核電廠都有 54 00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:53,900 就連遊樂園或醫院都可能會有 55 00:03:53,983 --> 00:03:55,109 很抱歉 56 00:03:56,444 --> 00:03:58,738 用香口膠塞冷卻塔的裂縫 57 00:03:58,821 --> 00:04:00,865 我也是第一次看到有這種事 58 00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:03,701 拿燃料棒做紙鎮 59 00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:05,620 可惡,誰這麼該死 60 00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:06,663 (2137號管路) 61 00:04:08,873 --> 00:04:11,417 漏水很正常 62 00:04:11,876 --> 00:04:13,127 (安全事項,小心腳步) 63 00:04:13,878 --> 00:04:15,380 我眼好痠,只是休息一下 64 00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:16,756 很好 65 00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:19,217 充份休息能提高產值 66 00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:21,427 監視站無人監管 67 00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:23,930 稽查官 68 00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:27,600 我們去辦公司傾下可以嗎? 69 00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:29,894 伯恩斯先生 70 00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:33,398 我擔任稽查員20年了 從沒見過這麼鬆散又糟糕 71 00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:34,649 快看 72 00:04:34,857 --> 00:04:38,945 我的桌上怎麼會有這麼多錢? 不知道是誰這麼不小心 73 00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:40,488 把錢忘記了 74 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:43,950 史密瑟斯,我們先出去一下 75 00:04:44,075 --> 00:04:46,035 給失主一些時間 76 00:04:46,202 --> 00:04:48,496 把錢拿回去 77 00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:56,212 史密瑟斯,你看看 這個笨蛋還站在這裡 78 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,548 伯恩斯,若不是我太了解你的話 79 00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:00,717 我會以為你是要賄賂我 80 00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:02,802 你是不是腦袋不清楚啊? 81 00:05:02,885 --> 00:05:06,014 拿去、快拿去,你這蠢貨 82 00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:09,726 伯恩斯先生 剛才的事我可以當沒發生 83 00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:14,355 但這342項缺失卻不容忽視 84 00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:16,232 我的任務已經完成 85 00:05:16,357 --> 00:05:18,192 你一係改善 86 00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:20,111 一係等執廠 87 00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,071 再見 88 00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:23,781 好吧 89 00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:26,784 只不過是壞了一點東西 90 00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:28,870 需要修理而已 91 00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:32,540 要幾多錢? 92 00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:34,625 大概要花五千六百萬 93 00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:36,294 -五千六百萬? -別打我 94 00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:39,505 我怕我是有心無力了,史密瑟斯 95 00:05:39,672 --> 00:05:41,257 你退下 96 00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:43,885 我想靜一靜 97 00:05:58,941 --> 00:06:01,277 先帝創業未半 98 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,529 而中道崩殂 99 00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:08,326 今天下三分 100 00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:10,745 益州疲弊 101 00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:12,205 臣本布衣 102 00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:16,000 躬耕於南陽 103 00:06:17,126 --> 00:06:20,546 苟全性命於亂世 104 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:23,633 不求聞達於… 105 00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:25,843 沒了? 106 00:06:27,261 --> 00:06:29,514 我眼睛痠,休息一下而己 107 00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:32,642 我的天啊,9點半了 108 00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:34,060 喂,美枝嗎? 109 00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:37,146 抱歉,我忘記打回家了 今天真是亂糟糟 110 00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:40,233 番工12粒鐘真是累死我了 111 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,568 你好 112 00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:44,404 你好 113 00:06:46,989 --> 00:06:50,785 受任於敗軍之際 奉命於危難之間 114 00:06:51,285 --> 00:06:53,287 爾來二十 115 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,207 有一年矣 116 00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:58,418 受命以來 117 00:06:59,585 --> 00:07:03,339 夙夜憂勤,恐託付不效 118 00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:12,014 這是… 119 00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:14,392 伯恩斯先生? 120 00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:17,687 抱歉,是我,荷馬辛普森 121 00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:19,021 你好嗎? 122 00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:21,941 加班,阿森? 123 00:07:22,316 --> 00:07:23,609 是,老細 124 00:07:23,734 --> 00:07:26,195 我們都是難得的人才啊,阿森 125 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:28,114 讓我告訴你一些祕密吧 126 00:07:28,197 --> 00:07:29,407 上車 127 00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:33,536 哇,這車真棒 128 00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:36,372 荷馬,我們就快要執廠了 129 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,624 他們說我們沒有管好電廠 130 00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:40,543 那個,世上無完美 131 00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:43,337 政府能不能不要成日搵麻煩? 132 00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:45,006 真巧,我今天才跟我老婆說 133 00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:47,133 如果我是州長,一定要徹底改變 134 00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:48,634 別發夢了,阿森 135 00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:50,511 你知道選州長要用幾多錢? 136 00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:52,263 我們這種老實人付不起那麼多錢 137 00:07:52,346 --> 00:07:53,723 你付得起啊 138 00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:57,894 不、不要誤會了 我不是說你不是老實人 139 00:07:57,977 --> 00:08:01,230 我只是說 我認為你付得起競選的錢 140 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,065 你這樣瞪我 141 00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:05,443 讓我很害怕,但這是實話 142 00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:07,361 你想,如果你做州長 143 00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:09,489 對錯都只在你的一念之間 144 00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:11,491 我們要去哪裡? 145 00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:15,244 去創造美好的新世界 146 00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:18,039 如果順路的話 你可以順便送我回家嗎? 147 00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:23,044 (伯恩斯宣布參選州長) 148 00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:25,087 至少我會投他一票 149 00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:27,548 荷馬,我們家一向都是 貝莉的支持者啊 150 00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:30,927 但她沒辦法幫我保住工作 151 00:08:31,135 --> 00:08:32,595 我支持伯恩斯 152 00:08:32,678 --> 00:08:34,639 哇,在餐枱討論政治 153 00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:36,390 我們要變政治家庭嗎? 154 00:08:36,557 --> 00:08:38,100 老實講,我不覺得 155 00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,894 這個卑鄙小人 156 00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:41,729 能擊敗貝莉州長 157 00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:44,982 她是本州史上民意調查最高的州長 158 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:47,902 我們的問題在於 159 00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:51,948 貝莉州長的民意調查居高不下 另外,98%的選民 160 00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:54,742 都認為你是個卑鄙小人 161 00:08:54,992 --> 00:08:56,410 因此,我們特別以重金 162 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,454 找到最優秀的競選團隊 163 00:08:58,579 --> 00:09:00,122 讓我介紹你的文案人才 164 00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,250 網軍顧問、公關顧問 165 00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:04,877 化妝師與教練 166 00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:06,796 他們的任務是把你從這樣 167 00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:08,214 (實際照片) 168 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:09,799 (概念圖) 169 00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:11,926 -變成這樣 -我的嘴怎麼變那樣? 170 00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:13,553 因為你在笑呀 171 00:09:13,761 --> 00:09:15,680 非常好 172 00:09:15,763 --> 00:09:19,100 我掟錢請你們就是要這種效果 173 00:09:19,308 --> 00:09:22,812 你們又打算怎麼對付貝莉呢? 174 00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:25,022 我們請了最好的調查團隊 175 00:09:25,147 --> 00:09:28,109 有砌生豬肉大師、P圖大師 176 00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:30,278 -反串師以及風向師 -你們好 177 00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:32,405 他們會把貝利從這樣 178 00:09:32,488 --> 00:09:33,990 (實際照片) 179 00:09:34,323 --> 00:09:35,241 變成這樣 180 00:09:35,324 --> 00:09:36,450 (概念圖) 181 00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:39,203 圖做得好好,謝謝你 182 00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:41,289 但現在有個問題 183 00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:43,749 我們要優先處理 184 00:09:43,874 --> 00:09:45,084 可惡 185 00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:46,836 那條死魚 186 00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:51,299 感謝各位在百般無聊的下午 與我們一起觀賞電影 187 00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:53,926 之後是付費廣告 請別轉台 188 00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,970 本廣告由伯恩斯的好朋友 贊助播出 189 00:09:56,053 --> 00:09:57,305 伯恩斯?快轉台 190 00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:58,723 -你轉 -不要,你轉 191 00:09:58,806 --> 00:10:00,266 上星期是我轉 192 00:10:00,349 --> 00:10:01,642 好,繼續乞人憎 193 00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:03,978 大家都不要轉 194 00:10:04,061 --> 00:10:06,689 不會吧,又選? 195 00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:09,859 他們是不是又要執酒吧? 196 00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:11,068 你想太多了 197 00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:14,572 不知道他會怎麼解釋那條怪魚? 198 00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:16,407 美枝,妳不要被騙了 199 00:10:16,574 --> 00:10:18,951 那些媒體就愛捕風捉影 200 00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:21,746 他們連魚有幾隻眼都不知道 201 00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:24,415 伯恩斯先生,再30秒進現場 202 00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:25,708 別忘記微笑 203 00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:26,959 我在笑了 204 00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:28,753 再自然一點 205 00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:31,672 這樣? 206 00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:32,882 很好 207 00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:34,967 我的臉快僵了 208 00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:36,719 我們該做的都做了,伯恩斯先生 209 00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:38,804 -之後就看你了 -別擔心 210 00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:41,307 等這支付費廣告結束後 211 00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:44,268 那些無知的選民 212 00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:46,479 就是我手中的玩物了 213 00:10:46,562 --> 00:10:47,730 大家好 214 00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:50,775 我是你們未來的州長伯恩斯 215 00:10:50,858 --> 00:10:54,570 我想與各位介紹一位小朋友 牠就是三眼仔 216 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:58,115 許多人都把牠當成 一隻基因突變的怪物 217 00:10:58,199 --> 00:11:00,451 但這並不是事實 218 00:11:00,534 --> 00:11:02,203 不過這只是我的片面之詞 219 00:11:02,286 --> 00:11:05,581 因此,我們特別找來了達爾文 分享他的看法 220 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,958 -你好,伯恩斯先生 -你好,達爾文 221 00:11:08,042 --> 00:11:12,088 我想請你用進化論的觀點 跟各位觀眾解釋一下這件事 222 00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:13,422 榮幸之極 223 00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:17,218 大自然時不時就會對創造物做些手腳 224 00:11:17,301 --> 00:11:20,221 在這裡裝隻牙、那裡整隻爪 再拉長隻腳 225 00:11:20,304 --> 00:11:22,723 而三眼仔呢 就被多裝了一隻眼 226 00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:26,227 這些多樣化的物種恰好就是 227 00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:28,562 地球蓬勃發展、生機盎然 228 00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,690 生命生生不息的最佳證明 229 00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:34,235 你的意思是,三眼仔的眼 其實是個優點 230 00:11:34,318 --> 00:11:35,403 講得顯淺些 231 00:11:35,569 --> 00:11:37,238 這其實是一種超能力 232 00:11:37,321 --> 00:11:39,824 我一點也不介意 能有三隻眼睛,你呢? 233 00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:41,283 當然不介意 234 00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:46,163 各位朋友,你們都聽到了 那些反核的覺青與左膠 235 00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:48,541 他們如果在核電廠附近 236 00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:50,334 看到大象在玩水 237 00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:52,962 也會說大象的鼻子 238 00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:54,755 是因為幅射才長這樣 239 00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:58,008 事實是,三眼仔是大自然奇蹟 240 00:11:58,092 --> 00:12:00,219 而且好好味 241 00:12:00,302 --> 00:12:01,554 超正 242 00:12:01,637 --> 00:12:03,055 總而言之 243 00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:04,932 我知道大家對我有徧見 244 00:12:05,015 --> 00:12:07,518 任何批評與指教我都接受 245 00:12:07,601 --> 00:12:11,814 但不要欺負可憐的三眼仔 246 00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:14,483 祝各位晚安 願主保佑各位 247 00:12:15,025 --> 00:12:18,237 不投伯恩斯 248 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:21,741 世界不會好 249 00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:24,160 哇,有超能力的魚 250 00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:26,912 希望政府不要再搵他麻煩了 251 00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:30,249 這就是我們需要的人 252 00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:31,959 年輕有衝勁 253 00:12:32,042 --> 00:12:34,837 親愛的,妳會支持伯恩斯吧? 254 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:36,464 荷馬,我是貝莉的忠實支持者 255 00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:37,548 (我支持貝莉) 256 00:12:37,631 --> 00:12:39,383 是嗎?那我就是伯恩斯的忠實支持者 257 00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:40,426 (伯恩斯) 258 00:12:40,509 --> 00:12:42,261 恭喜你,伯恩斯先生 259 00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:44,847 最新的民意調查顯示 你的支持度上升了六個百分點 260 00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:46,599 那我的支持度現在是 261 00:12:46,682 --> 00:12:48,642 六個百分點,好開始 262 00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:49,810 (光榮之州) 263 00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:53,063 我的競選對手似乎低估了 264 00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:55,149 本州選民的智慧 265 00:12:55,232 --> 00:12:59,403 我相信選民的眼睛是雪亮的 266 00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:01,113 好戰略,祝妳好運 267 00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:03,491 我認為現在的稅太高了 268 00:13:05,075 --> 00:13:06,952 (我支持貝莉,貝莉連任) 269 00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:10,623 (勞工兄弟) 270 00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:14,376 (伯恩斯的支持度衝至百分之七) 271 00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:19,590 (伯恩斯持續邁進) 272 00:13:22,551 --> 00:13:25,179 (獨立思考、支持貝莉) 273 00:13:25,262 --> 00:13:26,764 (我要成年,守護貝莉) 274 00:13:26,847 --> 00:13:29,183 (聽爸爸的話,支持伯恩斯 第三種絲,去票投伯恩斯) 275 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:32,019 你們找到貝莉的汙點嗎? 276 00:13:32,102 --> 00:13:33,270 我們翻遍了她家的垃圾桶 277 00:13:33,437 --> 00:13:34,939 -拷問了她傭人 -目前為止 278 00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:36,524 只發現一件事 279 00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:38,818 她在16歲時 曾與這個男人約過會 280 00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:39,902 然後呢? 281 00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:41,153 他攬過她的腰 282 00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:42,822 不夠,這不夠好 283 00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:44,114 (伯恩斯) 284 00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:46,242 我們要對 285 00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:51,038 那些州政府的官僚傳達一個訊息 286 00:13:52,581 --> 00:13:54,583 你老闆已經成為州長? 287 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,585 仲未 288 00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:58,546 (伯恩斯民意調查大幅上升 貝莉大危機) 289 00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:01,006 你現在已經被支持者捧上天了 290 00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:02,007 成班柒頭 291 00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:04,176 還有一個危機,最新的民意調查顯示 292 00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:06,262 一般大眾對你的支持度日減少 293 00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:08,389 天啊,我頭好痛 294 00:14:08,472 --> 00:14:11,016 因此,我們為你安排了 295 00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:14,270 在選前到員工家中與他們一起食飯 296 00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:16,647 我明白你意思 297 00:14:16,772 --> 00:14:19,358 讓這蠻荒之州的那些 298 00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:21,277 師奶與無用員工 299 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:24,196 看到我跟小職員一齊食飯 300 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,448 媒體一定會大肆報導 301 00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,659 現在的問題是 302 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,203 誰才是最適合的人選? 303 00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:37,418 (我愛伯恩斯) 304 00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:44,383 好,沒有犧牲就沒有勝利 305 00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:56,437 美枝,多士焗得真好 306 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:59,315 喔,對了,伯恩斯先生要在 307 00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:01,525 -選前來家裡食飯 -什麼? 308 00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:04,153 還會有記者與攝影團隊 但妳不用準備他們的份 309 00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:05,571 好耶,有好戲看了 310 00:15:05,654 --> 00:15:06,822 絕對不行 311 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:08,324 別這樣,美枝 312 00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:11,368 我那天要去幫貝莉拉票 313 00:15:11,535 --> 00:15:12,453 可惡 314 00:15:12,536 --> 00:15:13,954 小朋友,你們先迴避一下 315 00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:15,497 我要鬧人了,你們別看 316 00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:16,916 弊了 317 00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:20,419 我求妳拜託 318 00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:23,005 (支持伯恩斯) 319 00:15:23,088 --> 00:15:24,548 我們想讓你的小孩 320 00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:26,926 提出一個問題 321 00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:29,762 小妹妹,妳在明天晚飯前背得完嗎? 322 00:15:29,845 --> 00:15:31,931 “伯恩斯先生,你的競選晚會 323 00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:34,308 人山人海、坐無虛席 324 00:15:34,391 --> 00:15:35,684 你為什麼那麼受歡迎?” 325 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:36,769 很好 326 00:15:36,852 --> 00:15:38,854 既然我要問問題 327 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:42,107 我可以順便提下我的擔憂 讓我不會那麼擔心 328 00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:44,276 地球被汙染到無法居住嗎? 329 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:45,945 親愛的,妳只要照住卡講就得 330 00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:47,988 我覺得也不一定要全部照卡講… 331 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:49,740 美枝,別擔心 332 00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:51,825 我囡好聰明,她會在明天晚餐前 333 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,119 背完問題 334 00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:56,246 還有一件事,伯恩斯先生希望 335 00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:58,958 你們能表現得跟他很熟絡 336 00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:01,627 但要注意,他不喜歡與人接觸 337 00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:10,219 上床啦,美枝 338 00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:12,304 不,我瞓地下就得 339 00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:15,641 -別這樣,我只是想拍住妳而已 -但我不想 340 00:16:15,724 --> 00:16:17,142 到底什麼事? 341 00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:20,312 我不想讓不讓我表達意見的人拍住我 342 00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:22,481 妳可以表達自己的意見啊 343 00:16:22,564 --> 00:16:25,734 妳可以讓大家看妳持家有道 還可以展現妳的廚藝 344 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,653 好吧,荷馬 345 00:16:27,736 --> 00:16:29,196 這是你說的 346 00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:30,572 我接受 347 00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:34,368 那我就這樣做了 348 00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:36,203 就這樣,晚安 349 00:16:48,757 --> 00:16:50,551 你覺得怎麼樣? 350 00:16:50,634 --> 00:16:53,053 你好,型男 351 00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:55,472 喂,你做什麼? 352 00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:58,559 我們要跟普通老百姓吃晚餐 你把他整成暴發戶做什麼? 353 00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:00,352 最新的民意調查出來了 354 00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:02,688 五五波打平手 355 00:17:02,771 --> 00:17:05,524 這場晚餐後 我們就能一舉反超前 356 00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:09,945 哇,他來了 357 00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:14,992 你好,荷馬 358 00:17:15,617 --> 00:17:17,453 美枝,妳成個人發光呢 359 00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:20,456 你們看,我準備了紅燒獅子頭 360 00:17:24,251 --> 00:17:25,669 衰狗 361 00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:27,087 快回鄰居家 362 00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:29,381 我扶你起身,伯恩斯先生 363 00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:30,591 小心 364 00:17:30,674 --> 00:17:33,302 我也很喜歡狗跟細路 365 00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:37,598 你好,貓咪 366 00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:39,808 你冇事吧,伯恩斯先生? 367 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:40,934 當然 368 00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:43,479 陪寵物玩玩能讓我胃口大開 369 00:17:49,651 --> 00:17:50,944 民意調查出爐了 370 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,030 民眾對你處理危機的反應很滿意 371 00:17:53,113 --> 00:17:54,364 現在是51比49 372 00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:55,866 你微幅領先 373 00:17:55,949 --> 00:17:59,203 -恭喜,“州長先生” -非常好 374 00:17:59,286 --> 00:18:01,914 巴特,你可以帶大家一起禱告嗎? 375 00:18:01,997 --> 00:18:04,875 親愛的上帝啊 這些東西都是我們自己用錢買 376 00:18:04,958 --> 00:18:06,293 所以就不用謝您了 377 00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:11,757 小朋友天真無邪 童言無忌,別怪他 378 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:13,175 願上帝保佑我們 379 00:18:13,258 --> 00:18:14,384 阿門 380 00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:17,346 掂了 381 00:18:20,015 --> 00:18:22,142 伯恩斯先生 382 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,436 我們全家 383 00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:27,564 都覺得現在的稅太高了 384 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,984 你對這個議題的看法如何呢? 385 00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:33,654 天,我還以為可以放鬆一下 386 00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:36,198 原來這裡才是戰場啊 387 00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:37,783 我只是在照卡講… 388 00:18:37,866 --> 00:18:40,369 荷馬,我同意你的看法 如果我當選州長 389 00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:43,705 無論那些州政府的官僚喜不喜歡 390 00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,415 我都會減稅 391 00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:47,960 麗莎,妳有問題 392 00:18:48,043 --> 00:18:49,962 要問伯恩斯叔叔嗎? 393 00:18:50,045 --> 00:18:52,381 有,我有一個很空泛的問題 394 00:18:53,882 --> 00:18:56,927 伯恩斯先生,你的競選晚會 395 00:18:57,010 --> 00:18:58,887 人山人海、坐無虛席 396 00:18:59,012 --> 00:19:00,764 你為什麼這麼受歡迎? 397 00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:03,433 問得好,這個問題真刁鑽 398 00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:05,769 這個問題沒有正確答案 399 00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:08,063 有些選民是喜歡我的正直 400 00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:11,150 有些人是欣賞我的清廉 401 00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:14,695 還有些人是被我減稅的決心打動 402 00:19:14,903 --> 00:19:18,073 那些州政府的官僚們 你們洗乾淨屁股吧 403 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,701 媽,我不開心 404 00:19:20,784 --> 00:19:23,078 很抱歉,親愛的 再忍一下就好了 405 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,831 但我們正在被他利用 406 00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:29,334 麗莎,妳今晚會學到許多事情 其中一項 407 00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:31,920 就是看妳媽如何隨機應變 408 00:19:32,754 --> 00:19:35,257 這樣對民眾來說才公平 409 00:19:37,092 --> 00:19:38,427 好香啊 410 00:19:44,975 --> 00:19:47,269 好耶,是三眼怪魚 411 00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:49,313 讓我裝給你食吧,伯恩斯先生 412 00:20:18,842 --> 00:20:20,677 -影低 -真難以置信 413 00:20:21,094 --> 00:20:22,763 他死硬了 414 00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:26,058 到手的勝利被他嘔出來 415 00:20:26,141 --> 00:20:27,100 幫我駁編輯部 416 00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:28,352 頭條就這樣寫 417 00:20:28,435 --> 00:20:30,312 “伯恩斯自嚐苦果” 418 00:20:30,395 --> 00:20:31,521 (下任州長?) 419 00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:33,523 最新的民意調查顯示, 伯恩斯的支持度 420 00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:35,901 隨著他口中的魚肉 一起入土為安 421 00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:38,445 你們一定還有什麼辦法能幫我吧 422 00:20:38,779 --> 00:20:41,615 史密瑟斯,去沖杯咖啡 我們來研究對策 423 00:20:41,698 --> 00:20:43,700 算把啦 走,他沒用了 424 00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:45,035 別走,回來 425 00:20:45,202 --> 00:20:46,995 你們不能這樣對我 426 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:49,957 我是伯恩斯呢! 427 00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:01,510 史密瑟斯,幫我掟爛張枱 428 00:21:01,593 --> 00:21:02,594 遵命 429 00:21:02,719 --> 00:21:03,929 荷馬… 430 00:21:04,012 --> 00:21:05,764 你快叫他們停手 431 00:21:05,847 --> 00:21:06,848 好 432 00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:09,142 伯恩斯先生 433 00:21:09,309 --> 00:21:10,686 收聲,你同我一齊掟 434 00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:15,190 伯恩斯先生 將家裡的便傢俬掟爛 435 00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:16,817 你就滿意嗎? 436 00:21:17,192 --> 00:21:18,485 她說得對 437 00:21:19,194 --> 00:21:20,654 送我回家,史密瑟斯 438 00:21:20,862 --> 00:21:23,115 我回去掟更貴的 439 00:21:25,575 --> 00:21:27,119 很諷刺吧,史密瑟斯 440 00:21:27,202 --> 00:21:29,955 我的州長之位居然 441 00:21:30,038 --> 00:21:31,665 被這班柒頭毀了 442 00:21:31,748 --> 00:21:33,792 雖然我很想殺他們 443 00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:35,794 但我還不想坐監 444 00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:37,546 這就是民主政治 445 00:21:37,629 --> 00:21:39,715 就算輸了,你依然高尚優雅 446 00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:44,136 辛普森,在未來日子裡 我會儘我全部的力量 447 00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:47,431 摧毀你的夢想 448 00:21:47,681 --> 00:21:49,599 你死梗了,老豆 449 00:21:49,933 --> 00:21:52,227 他要摧毀我的夢想? 450 00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:55,147 死梗了 451 00:21:55,230 --> 00:21:57,107 這樣我的人生還有什麼希望 452 00:21:57,274 --> 00:22:00,360 美枝,快幫我 妳一定有辦法吧? 453 00:22:00,444 --> 00:22:03,113 荷馬,你最大的夢想 454 00:22:03,196 --> 00:22:06,491 就是食甜品、晚上攬下老婆 455 00:22:06,575 --> 00:22:08,994 放假時睡到中午 456 00:22:09,244 --> 00:22:11,580 你覺得他可以毀了這些嗎? 457 00:22:11,788 --> 00:22:13,582 哇,妳講得啱