1 00:00:03,378 --> 00:00:06,256 辛普森一家 2 00:00:06,715 --> 00:00:07,841 欢迎莅临春田核电厂 3 00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:12,429 春田小学 4 00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:18,309 我再也不上课打瞌睡了 5 00:00:25,316 --> 00:00:26,901 注意安全 6 00:00:26,985 --> 00:00:28,820 《妈妈杂志》 小丑库斯提麦片 7 00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:05,190 不 8 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:25,001 维古姆警长 麦基主教等贵宾 9 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,211 乔·昆比市长 10 00:01:26,377 --> 00:01:28,880 很荣幸介绍这紧急通报系统 11 00:01:29,005 --> 00:01:30,048 核电厂状态 12 00:01:30,131 --> 00:01:32,342 在极不可能的核灾时 13 00:01:32,550 --> 00:01:35,553 这号志会警告各位春田市的好市民 14 00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:36,763 如何应变 15 00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:38,765 放松 没事的 16 00:01:40,391 --> 00:01:42,060 微量幅射外泄 请关窗 17 00:01:43,853 --> 00:01:45,313 炉心熔毁 请逃生 18 00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:48,608 炉心爆炸 忏悔好进天国 19 00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:50,777 这不是打脸吗 20 00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:52,195 要是炉心爆炸了 21 00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:54,948 信号灯没电了也不会亮 22 00:01:56,741 --> 00:02:00,787 现在介绍设计信号灯的人 23 00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:04,541 他撤回了对反核人士的诉讼 24 00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:05,875 蒙哥马利·伯恩斯 25 00:02:09,045 --> 00:02:10,588 伯恩斯先生从来不迟到的啊 26 00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:13,299 -肯定出大事了 -最好是很大的事 27 00:02:13,591 --> 00:02:16,094 没人敢让我等的 28 00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:19,556 要翻身 29 00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:23,059 要去见大人物 30 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:26,020 不 伯恩斯先生 得给你叫医生 31 00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:27,313 千万别叫医生 32 00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:31,276 别让那些庸医给我乱医了 33 00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:35,947 只要我还有一口气在 34 00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:43,746 伯恩斯先生现在的现象是 医学上所谓的血液不足 35 00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:46,249 也就是俗称的贫血 36 00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:48,585 可恶 医生 我又不笨 我懂血液不足什么意思啦 37 00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:50,211 我是想知道现在该怎么办 38 00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:53,548 目前唯一的希望就是输血 39 00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:54,966 给针头消毒要多久 40 00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:56,634 -几秒钟而已 -那跳过 41 00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:58,386 留点血让我够撑到家就可以 42 00:03:00,096 --> 00:03:01,848 没这么简单啦 43 00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:05,560 他是O型血阴性 很少见 44 00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:06,811 但我偏偏是B型阳性 45 00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:08,646 去他的我的血 46 00:03:08,771 --> 00:03:10,940 斯密瑟斯 别太自责了 47 00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:14,110 毕竟你捐给我那颗肾 48 00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:15,987 的确救回我一命 49 00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:17,947 不用发疯也可以来此上班 但疯点好 50 00:03:18,072 --> 00:03:18,990 你想要 什么时候 51 00:03:19,073 --> 00:03:21,784 全体员工请注意 我们的老板和精神寄托 伯恩斯先生 52 00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:24,954 已经在鬼门关前与死神搏斗 53 00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:28,124 如果你刚好是血型O型阴性 54 00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:30,835 我恳求你来外头的捐血车 55 00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:32,253 完毕 56 00:03:32,503 --> 00:03:34,422 我愿意捐血给他 但有个问题 57 00:03:34,505 --> 00:03:35,757 -什么问题 -我不愿意 58 00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:39,302 你们太扯了 59 00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:41,596 那可是人命关天啊 60 00:03:41,679 --> 00:03:43,890 而且还是个百万富翁 需要我们救他一命 61 00:03:44,098 --> 00:03:45,683 你们竟然不想趁机大赚一笔 62 00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:49,562 难怪你们一辈子只能当个小职员 63 00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:51,940 -霍默我可是你主管 -抱歉 老板 64 00:03:52,273 --> 00:03:54,234 玛吉 那是什么 65 00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:55,485 狐猴 66 00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:56,736 狐猴 67 00:03:57,445 --> 00:03:58,321 印度牛 68 00:03:58,863 --> 00:04:01,991 -印度牛 -亲爱的 你在干嘛 69 00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:04,744 我想让玛吉知道大自然 不是只有牛马猪这些 70 00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:07,497 因为我不想她跟我一样 输在起跑点 71 00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:11,209 莉萨 我们也已经尽力了 印度牛是什么东西 72 00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,836 就一种牛 但背上有峰 然后脖子有垂肉 73 00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:17,465 峰和垂肉 峰和垂肉 74 00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:20,301 -玛琦 我什么血型 -A型阳性 75 00:04:20,635 --> 00:04:23,179 可恶 需要罕见血型 但我没有 76 00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:26,349 你竟然知道爸的血型 是真爱 77 00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:28,559 当妈的就是要知道全家人的一切啊 78 00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:30,353 -是吗 那我鞋号多少 -4B 79 00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:32,563 -我有几颗牙齿 -16颗恒齿 8颗乳牙 80 00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:33,523 -耳罩大小 -特大 81 00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:35,400 -戒指? -我不要你戴戒指 82 00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:36,818 没格调 但你戴三号 83 00:04:36,901 --> 00:04:39,153 -对什么过敏 -奶油糖和人造奶油糖 84 00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:41,406 -还有呢 -夜光怪兽妆 85 00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:43,157 -了不起 -那我头上几根毛 86 00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:46,577 -不准偷看 -霍默 你很多毛 87 00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:48,413 你为什么想知道血型 88 00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:50,707 老板伯恩斯快挂了 89 00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:52,834 要是找不到O型阴性血的话 90 00:04:52,917 --> 00:04:54,294 但工厂都没人是 91 00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:57,505 -巴特是 -哇 太好了 92 00:04:57,755 --> 00:05:01,092 恭喜你了 小子 你和针头有约了 93 00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:03,219 等等 我可没义务捐血啊 94 00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:04,554 小孩也是有人权的 95 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,556 对 你有权维持缄默 96 00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:09,058 巴特 见人有难要拔刀相助啊 97 00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:11,769 -这是最了不起的事 -要命 98 00:05:12,061 --> 00:05:15,690 巴特 又不是要你免费捐血 99 00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:17,191 这太没良心了 100 00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:21,571 你这年纪可能还不懂 但救了富翁的命 101 00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:23,406 他就会拿钱回报你 102 00:05:23,698 --> 00:05:25,867 你没听过大力士和狮子的故事吗 103 00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:27,535 -是圣经故事吗 -嗯 应该是吧 104 00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:29,829 总之呢 就是从前从前 105 00:05:29,912 --> 00:05:34,000 有头很大很凶的狮子 爪子插到一根刺 106 00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:36,794 全村子都想帮它拔出来 107 00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:38,713 但大家力气都不够大 108 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,715 所以就请了大力士来 109 00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:44,761 大力士用他的神力 一下子就拔出来了 110 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:48,389 总之呢 这故事就是告诉我们 狮子因此很开心 111 00:05:48,556 --> 00:05:52,143 就赏了大力士一大笔钱 112 00:05:52,226 --> 00:05:53,519 狮子怎么会有钱 113 00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,480 -古代的狮子不一样 -啊 114 00:05:55,563 --> 00:05:57,398 捐血车 115 00:05:57,982 --> 00:06:01,652 开个门啊 生死交关的事呢 116 00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:02,737 请稍候 117 00:06:02,904 --> 00:06:04,655 哇 奥托 你在这上班吗 118 00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:07,408 对啊 白天班 朋友都在上学 119 00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:10,203 所以我就去考了放血执照 120 00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:11,621 该上路了吧 121 00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:13,498 好 等我洗个手 122 00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:15,124 莎士比亚烤鸡 123 00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,629 霍默 勇敢的小巴特 124 00:06:20,671 --> 00:06:21,964 不知道该先抱谁 125 00:06:22,673 --> 00:06:23,591 抱这小鬼 126 00:06:24,842 --> 00:06:25,760 春田医院 127 00:06:25,843 --> 00:06:27,095 急诊处 128 00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:40,608 可以开始输血了 129 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,819 斯密瑟斯 我快不行了 130 00:06:43,861 --> 00:06:46,280 我告诉你墓碑上想刻的字 131 00:06:46,989 --> 00:06:49,867 -请说 -查尔斯·蒙哥马利·伯恩斯 132 00:06:51,744 --> 00:06:52,912 美国人 133 00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:55,540 还是位爱国的美国人 134 00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:56,999 爱国 135 00:06:59,293 --> 00:07:00,795 原子大师 136 00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:04,549 暴君的克星 137 00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:10,555 你这暴君 在上帝的大名下颤抖吧 138 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,223 斯密瑟斯 我回魂了 139 00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:14,767 各位早安 140 00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:16,394 这位是谁啊 141 00:07:16,477 --> 00:07:18,896 是说不出是谁的你 142 00:07:19,313 --> 00:07:20,356 你好 伯恩斯先生 143 00:07:21,357 --> 00:07:22,483 这位…那个什么 144 00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:24,360 布朗舒先生 145 00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:26,821 本地球队表现如何 146 00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,365 伯恩斯先生 他没事了 147 00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:30,491 中大奖了 148 00:07:34,745 --> 00:07:35,705 哎呀 149 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:38,374 我赢了 150 00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:40,084 再会啦 奥斯瓦多 151 00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:45,131 斯密瑟斯 我恢复精神了 壮的跟头牛一样 152 00:07:45,214 --> 00:07:46,424 太好了 老板 153 00:07:46,757 --> 00:07:48,468 说也奇怪 斯密瑟斯 154 00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:49,469 伯恩斯办公室 155 00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:51,637 各种药酒 药膏 补品 156 00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:53,222 还有专利药物我全试过了 157 00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:57,351 没想到却是一个小男孩的血 救了我一命 158 00:07:57,768 --> 00:08:00,813 -那小孩叫什么名字 -巴特·辛普森 159 00:08:00,938 --> 00:08:02,607 -哪位 -是霍默·辛普森的儿子 160 00:08:02,690 --> 00:08:04,233 他是你工厂里一名员工 161 00:08:04,358 --> 00:08:08,821 那么 我们写封信给辛普森家 给他们来个惊喜 162 00:08:09,363 --> 00:08:11,574 很好 163 00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:13,868 账单 账单 164 00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:16,078 出庭通知 账单 165 00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:17,914 等等 166 00:08:18,372 --> 00:08:20,082 伯恩斯先生 就是这封了 167 00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:21,918 就是这封 168 00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:25,213 玛琦 莉萨 玛吉 169 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,590 我们到院子去 这样邻居就都会看到 170 00:08:27,715 --> 00:08:28,841 莉萨把灯调暗点 171 00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:30,843 不对 调亮点 你也动一下 172 00:08:30,968 --> 00:08:31,844 好的 爸 173 00:08:34,138 --> 00:08:36,224 这未免有点薄 但没关系 174 00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:37,517 因为可能是支票 175 00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:39,977 好吧 没有支票 176 00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:41,687 只有一张卡片 但别慌 177 00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:44,899 应该是通知我们要送什么东西 还有要去哪里领东西 178 00:08:45,983 --> 00:08:48,736 “亲爱的巴特 谢谢你的血” 179 00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:50,947 “由衷感谢 蒙哥马利·伯恩斯” 180 00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:54,033 什么 就只送张卡片 181 00:08:57,745 --> 00:09:00,206 就这样表达感谢 182 00:09:00,289 --> 00:09:03,084 没送黄金 钻石 红宝石 183 00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:04,752 连张像样的卡片也没有 184 00:09:05,294 --> 00:09:06,420 是还有张卡片啦 185 00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:08,631 原本真是让我生气 186 00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:11,217 霍默 我们做好事不是为了 人家回报 187 00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:14,178 而是因为人跟人就是应该 互相帮助 188 00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:16,889 玛琦 你是我老婆 我很爱你 189 00:09:17,181 --> 00:09:19,976 但是你完全活在童话世界里 190 00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:22,270 全是不切实际的美梦和小精灵 191 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,272 还有神奇青蛙和怪帽子 192 00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:26,148 -对啊 妈 我们被骗了 -巴特 193 00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,568 我们这是求仁得仁 194 00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:31,362 我们救了老人家一命 195 00:09:31,445 --> 00:09:34,365 我只跟我儿子保证一件事 196 00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:35,992 就是会得到很多钱 197 00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:38,119 那老头害我食言了 198 00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:40,621 我受够了 巴特 拿信纸来 199 00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:42,665 亲爱的伯恩斯先生 200 00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:47,420 很荣幸你用了我儿子的血 201 00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:50,631 你寄来的卡片也很棒 202 00:09:50,798 --> 00:09:54,176 可别误会 我是在酸你 203 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,053 你这小气鬼 204 00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:59,682 -最后一句可以念给我听吗 -你这小气鬼 205 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:01,309 好 206 00:10:01,517 --> 00:10:05,021 你这老不溜丢又暴牙的木乃伊 207 00:10:05,187 --> 00:10:08,733 手细的像小女孩一样 笑起来还像 208 00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:10,026 大象屁股 209 00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:12,111 大象屁股 210 00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:14,280 可是他是你老板 211 00:10:14,363 --> 00:10:16,866 -你非现在寄不可吗 -对 212 00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:19,368 你现在气头上 霍默 等明天再说吧 213 00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:20,536 别说了 玛琦 214 00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:22,955 拜托啦 霍默 215 00:10:23,372 --> 00:10:24,290 算是为我忍耐一次 216 00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:28,836 好吧 217 00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:31,464 每次都用抓手这招 218 00:10:32,256 --> 00:10:33,549 但还每次都很管用 219 00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:36,260 你这小气鬼 220 00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:53,361 霍默 早餐好了 221 00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:59,033 玛琦 还好有你 我没铸成大错 222 00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:01,994 我终于想通了这个道理 223 00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:05,414 -什么道理 -贤内助 玛琦 224 00:11:05,956 --> 00:11:07,583 -谢谢你 -信呢 225 00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:10,586 邮筒 春田五金行 226 00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:17,635 放哪去了 227 00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:23,557 霍默 不会放在玉米粉罐里啦 228 00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:27,228 总是会在哪里吧 总不会长脚 自己跑掉吧 229 00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:29,480 -巴特 有看到那封信吗 -有啊 230 00:11:29,605 --> 00:11:31,816 好 你仔细想 231 00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,944 你最后一次在哪见到它 232 00:11:35,611 --> 00:11:37,738 最后一次看到的地方 233 00:11:38,614 --> 00:11:41,033 -在我手里 -手里 234 00:11:41,158 --> 00:11:45,037 投进邮筒的时候 235 00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:46,330 完蛋了 236 00:11:46,747 --> 00:11:48,582 你干了什么好事 237 00:11:48,749 --> 00:11:52,086 爸 那信所表达的事不吐不快 238 00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:55,214 我了解你 你这人很情绪化 239 00:11:55,297 --> 00:11:59,051 昨晚气一气早上起来就不气了 240 00:11:59,176 --> 00:12:00,761 我让你尝尝起来很气的滋味 241 00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:03,514 霍默这事是你起的头 242 00:12:03,764 --> 00:12:05,474 要掐也是掐你自己的脖子 243 00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:08,144 她说的没错 244 00:12:09,770 --> 00:12:12,982 好啊 霍默 冷静 邮差不到中午不会收信 245 00:12:13,357 --> 00:12:14,650 还来得及 246 00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:20,781 别挣扎了 霍默 这有上锁的 247 00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:22,241 上锁 248 00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:27,872 我刚好有个东西可以对付锁 249 00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:29,749 让开 小鬼 250 00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:35,713 嘿 251 00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:37,173 加油 霍默 252 00:12:37,506 --> 00:12:39,175 对抗公权力 253 00:12:42,344 --> 00:12:44,680 -为什么要拿水管 霍默 -你觉得呢 254 00:12:45,055 --> 00:12:46,682 干脆把信淋湿 255 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:49,226 上头笔迹就糊掉 谁都无法辨认 256 00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:50,978 但这不会也淋到别人的信吗 257 00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:54,106 就几个人而已 没什么大不了啦 258 00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:56,108 你也知道大家写信 都没在说重要事 259 00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:58,194 “亲爱的某某某不认识的人” 260 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:02,656 “你好吗 诚挚的在下 某某某” 261 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:03,657 没什么损失啦 262 00:13:04,533 --> 00:13:06,702 巴特 你帮爸把风看邮差有没来 263 00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:08,370 来了就给我个信号 264 00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:11,081 -爸 邮差来了 -这个好 就用这当信号 265 00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:12,583 不是啦 我是说邮差真的来了 266 00:13:13,542 --> 00:13:15,628 天啊 你们是打算弄湿邮件吗 267 00:13:16,670 --> 00:13:18,547 现在跑大概也来不及了 268 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:21,467 毕竟你是邮差 你知道我姓名 还有我家住址 对吧 269 00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:23,302 -没错 -但我还是要跑 270 00:13:25,846 --> 00:13:30,976 我要广为宣传我和贫血对抗的过程 271 00:13:31,185 --> 00:13:34,146 老板 罗曼先生是业界最出色的代笔 272 00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:36,232 他写过像是《别说我不行》这本书 273 00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:37,316 《出污泥而不染》 274 00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:39,193 《永不沉没的 萨督丁·马巴拉德牧师》 275 00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:42,154 -太棒了 -那好 第一个问题 276 00:13:42,738 --> 00:13:44,824 你睡过名人吗 277 00:13:45,282 --> 00:13:47,201 齐柏林女爵 278 00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:48,953 什么鬼 279 00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:52,498 给我听好了 你这廉价的地下写手 280 00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:55,960 我可不是文章都写不好的小明星 281 00:13:56,126 --> 00:13:57,670 这书我自己就能写 282 00:13:58,212 --> 00:13:59,296 你不用来了 283 00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:04,093 春田邮局 284 00:14:04,426 --> 00:14:07,555 你好 我是伯恩斯先生 285 00:14:07,888 --> 00:14:10,307 你这边应该有信要寄给我 286 00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:12,434 伯恩斯先生 好 请问你名字 287 00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:14,728 我不知道 288 00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:17,356 烂点子 巴特 289 00:14:18,607 --> 00:14:19,692 你看 玛吉 290 00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:21,026 这什么 291 00:14:21,485 --> 00:14:25,447 12面体 12面体 292 00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:27,741 莉萨 爸不知道你在干嘛 293 00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:30,244 你这样很奇怪 而且你老爸我有心事 294 00:14:30,619 --> 00:14:32,121 第五章 295 00:14:32,496 --> 00:14:36,792 炼狱之旅却有意外收获 296 00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:39,587 蒙哥马利·伯恩斯董事长 297 00:14:40,629 --> 00:14:43,591 伯恩斯还要28分钟才会到 298 00:14:43,924 --> 00:14:46,260 启动窃信计划 299 00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:53,267 有何贵干 300 00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:54,852 别怕这刀子 301 00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:57,438 只是拆信刀 你是哪位 302 00:14:57,688 --> 00:14:59,231 别说真名 说假名 303 00:14:59,481 --> 00:15:00,733 -霍默·辛普森 -惨了 304 00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:01,901 辛普森啊 305 00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:05,195 这里有封你写来的信 306 00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:06,614 那我就趁现在来读吧 307 00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:11,035 亲爱的伯恩斯先生 很荣幸 你用了我儿子的血 308 00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:13,203 你的卡片的很棒 309 00:15:14,371 --> 00:15:18,292 辛普森 你真是让我大开眼界 310 00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:20,002 你真是有礼貌 311 00:15:20,794 --> 00:15:23,255 -那我就 -下头还有 312 00:15:23,839 --> 00:15:28,052 可别误会 我是在酸你 313 00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:29,219 你这小气鬼 314 00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:30,596 你这老不溜丢 315 00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:33,515 又暴牙的木乃伊 手细的像小女孩一样 316 00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:35,935 笑起来还像大象屁股 317 00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:40,898 拜托啦 乔伊 非折我手不可吗 318 00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:43,150 霍默 我做我份内的工作 不用你七嘴八舌 319 00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:47,363 我轻轻松松就能毁了他 但这太便宜他了 320 00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:50,574 复仇就是要慢慢来 321 00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:53,744 我要耐心等候 322 00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:57,081 不管了 我就让他死个痛快 323 00:15:57,581 --> 00:15:59,208 非请勿进 324 00:16:02,419 --> 00:16:04,964 说我老 说我暴牙 是吗 325 00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:08,217 手很细是吗 还有老人斑是吗 326 00:16:08,717 --> 00:16:11,345 -真是无耻 -解雇通知书要你签名 327 00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:14,515 怪了 328 00:16:15,182 --> 00:16:17,476 我让一个人没了生计 329 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,979 却觉得好空虚 330 00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:23,148 这样吧 斯密瑟斯 命人把他痛打一顿好了 331 00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:24,400 -可是 老板 -可是什么 332 00:16:24,566 --> 00:16:25,442 没事 333 00:16:26,193 --> 00:16:29,863 从没见过伯恩斯先生这么生气 他本来脸就很臭 334 00:16:31,156 --> 00:16:34,076 都怪我乱写信 335 00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:35,869 亲爱的 覆水难收了 336 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,122 不论发生什么事 我们都会撑过去的 337 00:16:38,288 --> 00:16:40,165 -以前不也这样 -我有个计划 338 00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:42,459 你带孩子去你姐姐家住好了 339 00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:45,004 让我…客死街头 340 00:16:45,212 --> 00:16:47,214 这是最实际的作法 341 00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:51,969 他们常说我会毁掉这一家 342 00:16:52,052 --> 00:16:53,387 我还不信 343 00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:56,140 没事的 巴特 那只是随便说说 344 00:16:56,223 --> 00:16:57,891 吓吓你罢了 345 00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:02,688 -你认识霍默·辛普森吗 -认识啊 人很好 346 00:17:02,771 --> 00:17:04,189 以前一起打过牌 347 00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:05,399 斯密瑟斯 348 00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:07,735 -要痛打他一顿 -没问题 349 00:17:07,818 --> 00:17:09,278 -等等 -怎么了 350 00:17:11,071 --> 00:17:11,947 没事 351 00:17:12,322 --> 00:17:13,365 -等等 -干嘛 352 00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:14,366 打一顿就好 353 00:17:15,325 --> 00:17:16,201 别用脚踢 354 00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:17,286 脚下留情 我懂了 355 00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:18,579 -等等 -怎么了 356 00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:22,499 霍默到底犯了什么错 357 00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:26,754 他救了伯恩斯先生一命 358 00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:33,343 最后 亲爱的读者 我要向各位致谢 359 00:17:33,635 --> 00:17:34,678 你说什么 360 00:17:34,845 --> 00:17:35,971 我竟然会感谢你们 361 00:17:36,346 --> 00:17:37,931 不 并没有印错 362 00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:40,934 我真的很享受写这本书的过程 363 00:17:41,101 --> 00:17:43,395 就跟大家读得很享受一样 364 00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:46,106 全书终 365 00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:48,942 斯密瑟斯 把辛普森揍得如何 366 00:17:49,276 --> 00:17:50,652 老板 我们没揍他 367 00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:53,072 什么 这也太大胆了 你给我说理由 368 00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:55,783 -因为…我喊停了 -叛徒 369 00:17:56,366 --> 00:17:58,827 对不起 老板 但我真的 狠不下心伤害霍默 370 00:17:59,661 --> 00:18:01,413 -你这条命是他救的 -我了解了 371 00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:04,374 我知道这样说你会不高兴 但我还是提醒你一下 372 00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:06,710 我现在到大门口去罚站 站到你原谅我为止 373 00:18:06,794 --> 00:18:07,961 不用了 斯密瑟斯 374 00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:13,342 你的冷静 适时阻止了我的冲动 375 00:18:14,134 --> 00:18:15,511 我们握手言和吧 376 00:18:19,556 --> 00:18:22,392 老板 虽然我希望能跟你这样 ㄧ直握手下去 377 00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:25,979 但辛普森的事还没处理完 378 00:18:26,063 --> 00:18:27,523 没错 老朋友 379 00:18:28,148 --> 00:18:29,733 没错 380 00:18:30,692 --> 00:18:32,611 老莫小酒馆 精英的聚集地 381 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,196 请问 “沃德”在吗 382 00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:35,697 姓“该边” 383 00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:36,824 请稍候 我去问问 384 00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:38,408 “沃德该边” 385 00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:39,618 “沃德该边” 386 00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:41,787 有人看见“沃德该边”吗 387 00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:45,332 听好 你这下三滥 388 00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:47,292 别让我逮到你 389 00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:49,795 我一定要让你死得很惨 390 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:55,759 霍默 怎么了 怎么一副无精打采的样子 391 00:18:56,426 --> 00:18:58,804 我有心事啦 老莫 再来一杯 392 00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:01,807 霍默 借酒浇愁无助于事 393 00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:05,477 借酒交友才有用 394 00:19:06,186 --> 00:19:07,437 春田购物中心 395 00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:09,857 我们来给辛普森家送个大礼 豪华大礼 396 00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:13,068 他们想也想不到的大礼 397 00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:17,197 豪华到不行的大礼 398 00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:18,282 梳子梳梳专卖店 399 00:19:18,365 --> 00:19:19,241 太普通 400 00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:21,451 苏格兰帽专卖店 401 00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:22,703 太可爱 402 00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:24,913 阿拉巴马家具店 所有家具皆来自阿拉巴马 403 00:19:26,206 --> 00:19:27,374 太乡巴佬 404 00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:30,711 撞球桌?也太扯了 405 00:19:30,794 --> 00:19:32,838 又不是要让他家变撞球间 406 00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,590 快劫手皮特的世界搜奇店 407 00:19:34,673 --> 00:19:37,759 -找到了 就是这家 -但老板 这要三万二 408 00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:41,597 这宝贵的一刻别拿价钱来扫兴 409 00:19:41,930 --> 00:19:43,140 太完美了 410 00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:45,142 我惨了 411 00:19:46,393 --> 00:19:48,729 天啊 是伯恩斯先生 412 00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:52,274 用力 用力 413 00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:54,818 -用力 -爸 他脸上挂着笑容 414 00:19:56,570 --> 00:19:59,239 伯恩斯先生 劳驾您送大礼来 415 00:19:59,531 --> 00:20:01,241 不然我还会对你怎样 416 00:20:01,658 --> 00:20:03,577 命人把你打得不成人形吗 417 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:08,707 为了表示和解 送你一本我的样书 418 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,460 《彩虹会来吗》 419 00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:13,879 小朋友 你的大恩我可没忘 420 00:20:13,962 --> 00:20:16,173 -给你 -哇 是铁撬 421 00:20:16,256 --> 00:20:17,758 是给你打开那木箱用的 笨蛋 422 00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:20,260 不是跟你说过吗 423 00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:24,097 我猜里头都是钻石 珠宝 翡翠 玛瑙 424 00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:28,143 哇 425 00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:29,645 -一颗大丑头 -不 426 00:20:29,811 --> 00:20:33,315 孩子 这可是颗奥尔梅克 印地安族的大丑头 427 00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:36,944 它可是三千年前 由中美洲印地安人雕刻的 428 00:20:37,110 --> 00:20:41,156 这个凶悍的家伙叫作 “伊斯塔波拉波科多” 战神 429 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,366 好棒 430 00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,785 不对 玛吉 不是阿兹特克人 431 00:20:44,993 --> 00:20:47,454 是奥尔梅克 432 00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:48,747 玛琦 这东西能干嘛 433 00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:49,998 什么都不能干 434 00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,959 玛琦 说真的啦 这东西到底能干嘛 435 00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:54,336 它的功能就是你现在看到的 436 00:20:54,461 --> 00:20:59,424 那就让你们好好跟伊斯塔波拉波科 多认识认识 437 00:20:59,549 --> 00:21:00,884 你看到他们脸上表情了吗 斯密瑟斯 438 00:21:00,968 --> 00:21:03,595 老板 我好崇拜你的大气 439 00:21:04,304 --> 00:21:06,598 救人一命 胜造七级浮屠吗 440 00:21:06,848 --> 00:21:09,142 这比不送还糟 441 00:21:09,476 --> 00:21:11,019 一颗恐怖大石头 442 00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:13,188 爸 别说那头的坏话啦 443 00:21:13,355 --> 00:21:15,023 霍默 心意到了就好 444 00:21:15,148 --> 00:21:18,568 这件事给我们的教训就是 做好事本身就是回报 445 00:21:18,652 --> 00:21:22,114 -这就是回报啊 这头很酷 -既然这样 446 00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:25,701 那就说是 好事一定有好报 447 00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:27,369 等等 448 00:21:27,744 --> 00:21:30,956 要不是我写了信去骂 我们什么也要不到 449 00:21:31,081 --> 00:21:32,416 这个嘛 450 00:21:33,417 --> 00:21:36,712 那或许该说 会吵的孩子有糖吃 451 00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:38,964 或许根本就没什么教训 452 00:21:39,047 --> 00:21:40,465 没错 453 00:21:40,549 --> 00:21:42,551 就不过发生一些事 454 00:21:42,634 --> 00:21:45,220 但这几天的确很难忘 455 00:21:45,429 --> 00:21:46,847 说的也是 456 00:22:59,836 --> 00:23:01,838 字幕翻译:侯敏生