1 00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:05,922 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:13,888 --> 00:00:14,973 (chalk screeches) 3 00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:19,394 (bell rings) 4 00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:25,525 (work whistle blows) 5 00:00:28,319 --> 00:00:30,905 -(sucking) -(register beeping) 6 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:43,418 (jazzy solo) 7 00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:47,464 (tires screech) 8 00:00:53,678 --> 00:00:55,180 (tires screeching) 9 00:00:58,641 --> 00:00:59,893 (horn honks) 10 00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:02,270 (tires screech) 11 00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:05,482 D'oh! 12 00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:07,734 -Aah! -(tires screech) 13 00:01:08,985 --> 00:01:11,154 (growling) 14 00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:23,750 SMITHERS: It's a breakthrough product, sir, 15 00:01:23,833 --> 00:01:25,919 scientifically formulated to rinse clean with 16 00:01:26,002 --> 00:01:27,003 no oily deposits. 17 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,379 Hot dog. 18 00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:30,298 And it's mild enough to use every day. 19 00:01:30,381 --> 00:01:32,509 Isn't life grand? 20 00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:37,013 What's wrong, sir? Did I get some in your eyes? 21 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,306 The shampoo specifically said, "no more tears." 22 00:01:38,389 --> 00:01:39,849 A lovely promise 23 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:42,852 but one beyond the powers of a mere shampoo. 24 00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:45,271 sir, I feel there's something you're not telling me. 25 00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:46,564 Perhaps you'd feel more comfortable 26 00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:47,607 talking to Snappy the Alligator. 27 00:01:47,690 --> 00:01:48,691 Maybe. 28 00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:50,110 Hello, Mr. Burns. 29 00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:51,820 Snappy, you know it's hard to imagine 30 00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:56,282 but I was once a barefoot boy with cheek of tan. 31 00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:58,493 I dreamed of grand slam home runs 32 00:01:58,576 --> 00:02:01,371 and wiping out nations with the stroke of a pen. 33 00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:03,123 There's still time for all those things, sir. 34 00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:04,958 Is there? 35 00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:06,751 Controlled nuclear fission is a demanding mistress, Snappy. 36 00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:08,837 So you feel resentful towards the plant? 37 00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:10,588 Yes! Yes, exactly! 38 00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:14,676 You know, maybe it's time I sold the old girl. 39 00:02:14,759 --> 00:02:15,885 (gasps) 40 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:17,178 (humming) 41 00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:19,889 Mmm!... hmm?! 42 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:21,516 D'oh! 43 00:02:21,599 --> 00:02:23,017 Ohh, what do they want? 44 00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:25,687 Maybe a nap will boost my spirits. 45 00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:28,606 I'll get that whale song cassette you like, sir. 46 00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:30,024 Oh, it's not fair! 47 00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:31,401 (crying) 48 00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:33,069 I know how you feel, Simpson. 49 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,655 I've never seen Mr. Burns so depressed. 50 00:02:35,738 --> 00:02:38,908 I know people think because he's rich and powerful and cruel 51 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:41,494 he doesn't have feelings like other men, but he does. 52 00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:43,204 And you know what? 53 00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:45,623 I bet he wouldn't sell the plant for $100 million. 54 00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:47,333 Ooh, that's a lot of money. 55 00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:48,668 D'oh! 56 00:02:48,751 --> 00:02:50,420 Uh... Mr. Smithers, 57 00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:52,839 do you have change for a dollar? 58 00:02:52,922 --> 00:02:54,257 Good, good-- 59 00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:55,717 try to eat something. 60 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:56,801 (ringing) 61 00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:58,052 Homer Simpson here. 62 00:02:58,136 --> 00:03:00,054 Homer, it's your stockbroker. 63 00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:01,556 Your stock in the power plant 64 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:04,184 just went up for the first time in ten years. 65 00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:05,310 I own stock? 66 00:03:05,393 --> 00:03:07,103 Yes, all the employees got some 67 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:10,148 in exchange for waiving certain constitutional rights. 68 00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:12,192 So, how much did it go up? 69 00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:13,985 Wait a minute, let's not do that yet. 70 00:03:14,068 --> 00:03:15,069 The book says we have to make a little small talk 71 00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:16,154 before you get down to business. 72 00:03:16,237 --> 00:03:17,238 -Everybody alive? -Yeah. 73 00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:18,489 -Like any sports? -Sure. 74 00:03:18,573 --> 00:03:20,366 -Ever go dancing? -Not anymore. 75 00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:21,701 -We should get together sometime. -That'd be great. 76 00:03:21,784 --> 00:03:23,119 Ah, there, now we trust each other. 77 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:24,913 Well... how are you? 78 00:03:24,996 --> 00:03:27,332 (hacking) Near death. 79 00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:30,668 I'm renewing my notary license on a weekly basis. 80 00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,128 Uh-huh, so what's my stock up to? 81 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:35,048 Let me punch that up on the computer. 82 00:03:35,131 --> 00:03:37,592 Uh... 25¢ a share. 83 00:03:37,675 --> 00:03:39,260 What should I do? 84 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:42,222 Let me put it this way-- you'll get $25 if you sell now. 85 00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:43,473 Sell! Sell! Sell! 86 00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:44,849 Whoo-hoo! 87 00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:49,687 Twenty-five dollars! 88 00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:52,106 Ooh! 89 00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:54,859 Mmm... hot wax. 90 00:03:55,985 --> 00:03:57,779 Ooh.. hammer. 91 00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:01,866 ♪ Fight, fight, fight ♪ 92 00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:04,786 ♪ The Itchy & Scratchy Show! ♪ 93 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,123 (humming) 94 00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:14,045 (screaming) 95 00:04:14,128 --> 00:04:16,089 Mmm. 96 00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:19,050 (laughing) 97 00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:22,262 Bart, Bart, turn to the financial channel. 98 00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:25,098 Aunt Patty says our stock is skyrocketing. 99 00:04:25,181 --> 00:04:27,392 Unconfirmed takeover rumors 100 00:04:27,475 --> 00:04:29,269 have pushed Burns Worldwide 101 00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:31,145 from 1/8 to 52 and a quarter. 102 00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:32,855 (gasping) 103 00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:37,568 Your father's stock is worth $5,200! 104 00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:41,030 Wow! 5,200 smackers! 105 00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:45,576 Oooh! 106 00:04:48,079 --> 00:04:48,997 Ahhh... 107 00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:56,504 (laughing) 108 00:04:56,587 --> 00:04:58,589 Hey, Homer. Want a Duff? 109 00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:00,008 No, I'd like a bottle 110 00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:03,011 of Henry K. Duff's Private Reserve. 111 00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:04,012 (gasping) 112 00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:05,638 Are you sure? 113 00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:08,433 'Cause once I open the bottle, there's no refund. 114 00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:10,310 For your information 115 00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:13,730 I just made a cool $25 playing the market. 116 00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:15,106 Buy low, sell high-- 117 00:05:15,189 --> 00:05:16,983 that's my motto. 118 00:05:17,066 --> 00:05:19,068 I may just quit my job at the power plant 119 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:23,865 and become a full-time stock market guy. 120 00:05:23,948 --> 00:05:25,199 Have a Duff, boys! 121 00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:27,493 (German accent) Oh, thank you. 122 00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:30,246 My English is not perfect, but I have to tell you 123 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,664 your beer is like swill to us. 124 00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:33,207 Do I have that right? 125 00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:35,043 I'm saying that only a swine would drink this beer. 126 00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:36,711 Ja, but thank you, anyway. 127 00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:39,130 Hey, you guys aren't from around here, are you? 128 00:05:39,213 --> 00:05:41,716 Nein. We are from Germany. 129 00:05:41,799 --> 00:05:43,926 He is from the east; I am from the west. 130 00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:45,803 I had a big company, and he had a big company. 131 00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:47,680 Now we have a very big company. 132 00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,015 We are interested in buying the power plant. 133 00:05:49,098 --> 00:05:51,309 Do you think your owner would ever sell it? 134 00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:54,228 Well, I happen to know that he won't sell it 135 00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:55,855 for less than $100,000,000. 136 00:05:55,938 --> 00:05:57,565 A hundred million? 137 00:05:57,648 --> 00:05:59,067 Ein, zwei, drei, vier, funf... 138 00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:00,943 Oh, don't worry. 139 00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:03,988 We'll still have enough left to buy the Cleveland Browns. 140 00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:07,450 It's the miracle we've been waiting for. 141 00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:09,452 What are we gonna spend it on? 142 00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:13,039 Homer's probably buying some magic beans with it right now. 143 00:06:13,122 --> 00:06:14,999 We'll have a savings account. 144 00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:16,793 We've never had one. 145 00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:21,464 Kids, I think everything is going to be okay from now on. 146 00:06:21,547 --> 00:06:23,341 Hey, hey! 147 00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:24,509 Oh, Homer! 148 00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:25,635 You heard? 149 00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:27,887 We heard. Isn't it wonderful? 150 00:06:27,970 --> 00:06:30,556 We have some great plans for that money. 151 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,935 Well, I'm afraid I had some great plans too. 152 00:06:34,018 --> 00:06:34,936 What do you mean? 153 00:06:35,019 --> 00:06:36,396 I spent it on beer. 154 00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:38,731 Surprise, surprise. 155 00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:42,860 You spent $5,200 on beer?! 156 00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:44,278 $5,200? 157 00:06:44,362 --> 00:06:46,531 What are you talking about? 158 00:06:46,614 --> 00:06:47,698 What? 159 00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:50,993 (screams) 160 00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:54,372 I sold it all for 25 bucks! 161 00:06:54,455 --> 00:06:56,707 -(grunts) -Oww! 162 00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:58,167 Come on, everybody. It makes you feel better. 163 00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:05,842 Hey, Homer. 164 00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:08,177 Did you buy this car with your stock money? 165 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,721 Sure did, and the great thing about it 166 00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:12,098 is everybody got rich. 167 00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:14,892 For once, all us working stiffs got a break. 168 00:07:14,976 --> 00:07:15,852 (moans) 169 00:07:22,316 --> 00:07:23,901 Wait till you see Lenny. 170 00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:26,362 He just got back from the plastic surgeon. 171 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,906 Sheesh, Lenny, looks like you got the works. 172 00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:32,326 It started out as an eye tuck, but the stock kept goin' up. 173 00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:35,413 Hey, come here. Mr. Burns is on TV. 174 00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:37,874 -Mr. Burns? -Here, Mr. Burns. 175 00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:40,418 Over here. Mr. Burns? 176 00:07:40,501 --> 00:07:42,295 Mr. Burns, we've heard that a German consortium 177 00:07:42,378 --> 00:07:43,921 has offered to purchase the plant. 178 00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:45,798 Any comments? 179 00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:48,342 You'll see the Statue of Liberty wearing lederhosen 180 00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:50,094 before you see Germans running my plant! 181 00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:52,472 Well then, sir, why are you meeting with them? 182 00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:56,267 So I can look Uncle Fritz square in the monocle 183 00:07:56,350 --> 00:07:57,435 and say, "nein!" 184 00:07:59,353 --> 00:08:01,939 (speaking German) 185 00:08:02,023 --> 00:08:04,108 You never cease to amaze me, sir. 186 00:08:15,119 --> 00:08:16,078 Hmm? 187 00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,246 Hmm... 188 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,331 Whoo-hoo! 189 00:08:18,414 --> 00:08:19,832 Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! 190 00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:21,125 Whoo-hoo-hoo! 191 00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:22,126 (clears throat) 192 00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:24,504 I grudgingly accept. 193 00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:27,715 ♪♪ (polka) 194 00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:33,804 Now, don't worry. 195 00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:35,348 I think that you'll find these two gentlemen 196 00:08:35,431 --> 00:08:36,891 are as American as apple pie. 197 00:08:36,974 --> 00:08:38,267 Hans and Fritz-- 198 00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:40,102 Why, that's just John and Frank. 199 00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,730 Ich bin ein Springfielder. 200 00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:44,649 They'll bring their own people in. 201 00:08:44,732 --> 00:08:46,025 This ain't good. 202 00:08:46,108 --> 00:08:47,735 We could all lose our jobs. 203 00:08:47,818 --> 00:08:50,238 Look at all those worried faces... 204 00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:51,489 except for Lenny. 205 00:08:51,572 --> 00:08:53,324 He looks great. 206 00:08:53,407 --> 00:08:56,536 This is the worst day of my life. 207 00:08:59,288 --> 00:09:00,248 Those lousy Germans can't fire me. 208 00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:01,499 I'm the only one who knows 209 00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:03,334 how to unjam the rod bottom dissociator. 210 00:09:03,417 --> 00:09:05,503 Well, they can't fire me. I'm the only one certified 211 00:09:05,586 --> 00:09:07,630 to run the gaseous contaminant particulate fire. 212 00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:09,298 They can't fire me. 213 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:10,341 BOTH: Why? 214 00:09:10,424 --> 00:09:11,717 'Cause... 215 00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:15,680 MAN: Guten morgen. I am Horst. 216 00:09:15,763 --> 00:09:16,847 The new owners have elected me to speak with you 217 00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:19,058 because I am the most nonthreatening. 218 00:09:19,141 --> 00:09:21,185 Perhaps I remind you of the lovable Sergeant Schultz 219 00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:22,395 on "Hogan's Heroes." 220 00:09:22,478 --> 00:09:25,565 -Oh, yeah. -Yeah, he does. 221 00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:28,818 What is the best way to an efficient plant? 222 00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:30,653 -I don't know. -Well, uh... 223 00:09:30,736 --> 00:09:32,280 Search me. 224 00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:35,116 Happy workers who feel secure at their jobs-- 225 00:09:35,199 --> 00:09:37,159 So let's get to know each other better. 226 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,161 Do we have any alcoholics among us? 227 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,289 -Uh... me. -Right here. 228 00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:43,291 I'm drunk right now. 229 00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:45,209 You'll be given a six-week treatment 230 00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:47,670 at our drying-out facility in Hawaii, 231 00:09:47,753 --> 00:09:50,214 after which you'll return at full pay. 232 00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:51,841 -Oh, great! -Great. 233 00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:54,218 Hey, maybe I'll marry Elizabeth Taylor. 234 00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:55,261 Lucky drunks. 235 00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:56,887 Also, we cannot uber-emphasize 236 00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:59,557 the importance of employee safety. 237 00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:03,477 We plan to have some frank discussions 238 00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:05,271 with your safety inspector. 239 00:10:05,354 --> 00:10:07,315 Yeah, sock it to 'em, Horst! 240 00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:08,524 Psst. Hey, Homer. 241 00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,151 Aren't you the safety inspector? 242 00:10:10,234 --> 00:10:11,527 D'oh! 243 00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:15,906 Mm-hmm-hmm... 244 00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:18,117 Mm-hmm... 245 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,244 That's one big check. 246 00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:21,787 You look sharp today, sir. 247 00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:24,707 You looken sharpen todayen, mein herr. 248 00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:26,834 You looken sharpen todayen, mein herr. 249 00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:28,628 That was a gutsy decision, sir. 250 00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:31,839 BURNS: Smithers, come here. I want you. 251 00:10:31,922 --> 00:10:33,466 I wanted to give you something to remember me by, 252 00:10:33,549 --> 00:10:36,010 and I know you've always had your eye on this photo 253 00:10:36,093 --> 00:10:37,470 of Elvis and me. 254 00:10:37,553 --> 00:10:39,221 He was so good to his mother, sir. 255 00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:41,474 Yes, but I couldn't understand a word that man said. 256 00:10:41,557 --> 00:10:42,892 (with Elvis drawl) "Mr. Burns... 257 00:10:42,975 --> 00:10:46,729 (mumbling) ...hound dog." 258 00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:49,065 Stop it. You're killing me, sir. 259 00:10:50,691 --> 00:10:52,485 Oh, sir, what will you do next? 260 00:10:52,568 --> 00:10:55,321 First, I'll get that new hip I've been hankering for. 261 00:10:55,404 --> 00:10:56,447 Then, who knows? 262 00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:58,115 Beekeeping, boxing, 263 00:10:58,199 --> 00:10:59,325 bocce ball... 264 00:10:59,408 --> 00:11:02,328 The world is my oyster, Smithers. 265 00:11:02,411 --> 00:11:03,496 Farewell. 266 00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:12,296 Lisa, your father needs your help. 267 00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:14,256 Do you know anything about Germany? 268 00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:15,883 Well, it's a country in Europe. 269 00:11:15,966 --> 00:11:17,343 Good, good. I'm learning. 270 00:11:17,426 --> 00:11:19,136 One of the economic powers of the world. 271 00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:20,137 Because we send them money? 272 00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:23,182 (laughing) No. 273 00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:25,184 Because they're efficient and punctual, 274 00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:27,186 with a strong work ethic. 275 00:11:27,269 --> 00:11:28,187 D'oh! 276 00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:29,563 Oh, woe is me. 277 00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:32,233 Homie, come to bed. 278 00:11:32,316 --> 00:11:34,068 Oh, Marge, I'm gonna be fired, I know it. 279 00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:35,861 Don't worry. 280 00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:39,365 Whatever happens, we'll pay the bills somehow. 281 00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:40,991 Marge, it's not the money. 282 00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:43,494 My job is my identity. 283 00:11:43,577 --> 00:11:45,496 If I'm not a safety whatchama-jigger, 284 00:11:45,579 --> 00:11:46,539 I'm nothing. 285 00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:48,749 Well, if you can't sleep, 286 00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:51,794 why don't you do something constructive? 287 00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:54,255 Ooh... Battlestar Galactica! 288 00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:00,136 (groaning) 289 00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:02,179 Fit, damn you! Fit! 290 00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:04,890 (grunting) 291 00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:06,100 There. 292 00:12:06,183 --> 00:12:08,519 (snoring) 293 00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:13,441 Yo, Homer, you got to get ready for work. 294 00:12:13,524 --> 00:12:14,692 Uh-huh. What? 295 00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:21,323 What am I gonna-- 296 00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:22,575 (gasps) Hey, you! 297 00:12:22,658 --> 00:12:24,827 Stop being... so unsafe! 298 00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:26,954 Smitty... safen up. 299 00:12:27,037 --> 00:12:27,997 Homer, could we have a word with you? 300 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,248 No. 301 00:12:29,331 --> 00:12:30,750 I must have phrased that badly. 302 00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:33,085 My English is-- How you say? Inelegant. 303 00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:36,255 I meant to say may we have a brief, friendly chat? 304 00:12:36,338 --> 00:12:38,090 -No. -Once again, I have failed. 305 00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:40,801 "We request the pleasure of your company 306 00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:42,386 for a free exchange of ideas." 307 00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:43,846 No! 308 00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:46,223 You've been safety inspector for two years. 309 00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:48,726 What initiatives have you spearheaded in that time? 310 00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:50,519 Uh... all of them? 311 00:12:51,687 --> 00:12:52,897 I see. 312 00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:54,899 Then you must have some good ideas 313 00:12:54,982 --> 00:12:56,442 for the future as well. 314 00:12:56,525 --> 00:12:57,985 I sure do! 315 00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:04,450 Such as? 316 00:13:04,533 --> 00:13:07,703 Well, uh... I wish the candy machine 317 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:11,081 wasn't so picky about taking beat-up dollar bills... 318 00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:12,875 because... 319 00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:15,628 a lot of workers really like candy. 320 00:13:15,711 --> 00:13:17,671 We understand, Homer. 321 00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:20,257 After all, we are from the land of chocolate. 322 00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:25,054 HOMER: Mmm... the land of chocolate! 323 00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:28,015 ♪♪ (upbeat) 324 00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:53,499 (barks) 325 00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:54,625 (yipping) 326 00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:02,424 Wow... chocolate, half-price! 327 00:14:04,635 --> 00:14:06,554 ♪ La la la-la-la-la-la ♪ 328 00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:07,555 Mr. Simpson? 329 00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:09,181 ♪ La-la-la-la-la ♪ 330 00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:11,308 -Mr. Simpson? -Huh? 331 00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:12,434 Oh, I'm sorry. 332 00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:14,061 We were talking about chocolate? 333 00:14:14,144 --> 00:14:15,396 That was ten minutes ago. 334 00:14:15,479 --> 00:14:17,773 I think I did pretty good in there. 335 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,775 Yeah, you know those Germans aren't so bad. 336 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,694 Sure, they've made mistakes in the past, 337 00:14:21,777 --> 00:14:23,153 but that's why pencils have erasers. 338 00:14:23,237 --> 00:14:24,864 HORST (on PA): Attention, workers. 339 00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:27,783 We have completed our evaluation of the plant. 340 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:30,160 We regret to announce the following layoffs 341 00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:33,038 which I will read in alphabetical order. 342 00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:35,207 Simpson, Homer. 343 00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:37,167 That is all. 344 00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:51,557 (disappointed meow) 345 00:14:53,809 --> 00:14:55,019 Ay, caramba! 346 00:14:55,102 --> 00:14:57,646 Now Bart, Lisa did a wonderful job 347 00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,106 on my hair, 348 00:14:59,189 --> 00:15:01,275 and we saved $40 for the family. 349 00:15:01,358 --> 00:15:03,027 We all have to pull together 350 00:15:03,110 --> 00:15:04,486 till your father gets a new job. 351 00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,113 I made a new bar of soap 352 00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:08,157 by squeezing all our little soap slivers together. 353 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:09,867 MARGE: That's very clever. 354 00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:11,660 And today, instead of buying comic books, 355 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,370 I just read them and left them in the store. 356 00:15:13,454 --> 00:15:15,039 (groans) You shouldn't do that. 357 00:15:15,122 --> 00:15:17,041 My jump rope broke but I just tied it back together. 358 00:15:17,124 --> 00:15:18,375 That's good, Lisa. 359 00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:19,627 I didn't take a bath today 360 00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:21,086 and I may not take one tomorrow. 361 00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:23,589 I want you to take baths, Bart. 362 00:15:23,672 --> 00:15:26,592 Lousy German know-it-alls. 363 00:15:26,675 --> 00:15:29,345 Who are they to say I'm not safe? 364 00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:30,888 Oh, what's the matter with this thing? 365 00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:33,390 No problems here. 366 00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:36,894 That's right, Burnsie. 367 00:15:36,977 --> 00:15:38,062 Keep your wrist supple. 368 00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:40,356 Throw it, don't aim it. 369 00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:43,359 (grunting) 370 00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:44,902 (laughing) 371 00:15:44,985 --> 00:15:46,320 This is my park. 372 00:15:46,403 --> 00:15:47,488 Get out! 373 00:15:49,239 --> 00:15:50,699 It was worth it. 374 00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,368 This place has really gone to hell, Mr. Burns. 375 00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:55,079 It's obscene what they did to your office. 376 00:15:55,162 --> 00:15:57,414 Listen Smithers, you caught me at a bad time 377 00:15:57,498 --> 00:16:00,042 but my folk guitar class has been canceled for tonight. 378 00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:02,252 Would you like to get together for a drink? 379 00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:03,295 Would I?! 380 00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:05,714 I got to go. See you at 6:00. 381 00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:09,510 (bell dings) 382 00:16:09,593 --> 00:16:11,720 You're going down, my friend. 383 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:12,888 Yes, sir, Mr. Burns. 384 00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:15,265 That shouldn't be. 385 00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:19,186 Ach du lieber! Raccoons! 386 00:16:19,269 --> 00:16:21,313 That's right. 387 00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:23,691 Gather the nectar, my little drones 388 00:16:23,774 --> 00:16:25,317 and make the honey-- 389 00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:27,319 honey for your children. 390 00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:28,487 Fools! 391 00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:29,571 (maniacal laughter) 392 00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:31,573 Ready for that drink, sir? 393 00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:32,658 Just a second, Smithers. 394 00:16:32,741 --> 00:16:34,451 Let me introduce you to the gang. 395 00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:36,078 That's Buzz, that's Honey, 396 00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:37,204 and you see that queen over there? 397 00:16:37,287 --> 00:16:38,914 Her name is Smithers. 398 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:41,250 That's very flattering, sir, but we should go. 399 00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:43,168 Several bees are stinging me. 400 00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:44,253 (phone rings) 401 00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:45,754 Moe's Tavern. Moe speaking. 402 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:48,340 Uh, yes, I'm looking for a Mrs. O'Problem, 403 00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:49,508 first name: Bea. 404 00:16:49,591 --> 00:16:51,135 Uh, just a minute, I'll check. 405 00:16:51,218 --> 00:16:53,262 Uh... Bea O'Problem? 406 00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:54,513 Bea O'Problem? 407 00:16:54,596 --> 00:16:55,556 Come on, guys. 408 00:16:55,639 --> 00:16:58,225 Do I have a B.O. Problem here? 409 00:16:58,308 --> 00:16:59,268 You sure do. 410 00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:01,645 (laughing) 411 00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:03,647 Oh! It's you, isn't it? 412 00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:05,065 (Bart laughing) 413 00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:06,859 Listen you! When I get a hold of you 414 00:17:06,942 --> 00:17:08,235 I'm gonna use your head for a bucket 415 00:17:08,318 --> 00:17:10,195 and paint my house with your brains. 416 00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:11,280 (laughing) 417 00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:12,990 Bart, I want you to go down 418 00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:14,533 to Moe's Tavern. 419 00:17:14,616 --> 00:17:16,994 I need you to bring your father home. 420 00:17:17,077 --> 00:17:18,662 (gulp) 421 00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:21,540 (snoring) 422 00:17:25,294 --> 00:17:27,588 Excuse me. I'm looking for-- 423 00:17:27,671 --> 00:17:28,672 Wait a minute. 424 00:17:28,756 --> 00:17:30,174 I know that voice. 425 00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:33,343 If it isn't little Bart Simpson! 426 00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:35,554 I haven't seen you in years. 427 00:17:35,637 --> 00:17:36,597 That's right. 428 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,015 That's my pop. 429 00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:39,349 Oh, little Bart, 430 00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:42,019 we hear all about your monkeyshines. 431 00:17:42,102 --> 00:17:43,729 Bet you get into all kinds of trouble 432 00:17:43,812 --> 00:17:45,022 he don't even know about. 433 00:17:45,105 --> 00:17:47,274 Am I right? Huh? Am I right? 434 00:17:47,357 --> 00:17:50,027 Well, I make some crank phone calls. 435 00:17:50,110 --> 00:17:52,446 Aw, ha-ha, that's great! 436 00:17:52,529 --> 00:17:53,572 Ha-ha-ha! 437 00:17:53,655 --> 00:17:55,574 Hey, would you sing that old song 438 00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:57,201 you used to sing for me? 439 00:17:57,284 --> 00:17:58,952 Moe, for you, anything. 440 00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:01,830 BURNS: Look! A blue-collar bar. 441 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:04,583 Oh, Smithers, let's go slumming. 442 00:18:04,666 --> 00:18:06,126 ♪ Every teddy bear who's been good ♪ 443 00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:08,003 ♪ Is sure of a treat today ♪ 444 00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,588 ♪ There's lots of marvelous things to eat ♪ 445 00:18:09,671 --> 00:18:11,340 ♪ And wonderful games to play ♪ 446 00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:13,842 ♪ Beneath the trees where nobody sees ♪ 447 00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:14,968 ♪ They'll hide and seek as long as they please ♪ 448 00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:16,595 ♪ Today's the day ♪ 449 00:18:16,678 --> 00:18:19,139 ♪ The teddy bears have their picnic ♪ 450 00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:21,475 (cheering) 451 00:18:21,558 --> 00:18:22,976 BARNEY: Encore! 452 00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:24,228 He's a pip, this one is. 453 00:18:24,311 --> 00:18:26,814 Ah, the mirthless laugh of the damned. 454 00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:28,273 Hold your nose, Smithers. 455 00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:29,858 We're going in. 456 00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:32,486 (cheering) 457 00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:34,530 Watch me blend in. 458 00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:36,949 Barkeep, some cheap domestic beer 459 00:18:37,032 --> 00:18:38,659 for me and my buddy here. 460 00:18:38,742 --> 00:18:41,912 I'm not your buddy, you greedy, old reptile. 461 00:18:41,995 --> 00:18:43,747 Smithers, who is this saucy fellow? 462 00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:45,207 Homer Simpson, sir. 463 00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:47,417 Sector sieben gruber-- I mean, sector 7-G. 464 00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:48,669 Recently terminated. 465 00:18:48,752 --> 00:18:50,170 That's right. I lost my job 466 00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:52,881 so that you could have another $100 million! 467 00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:54,508 Let me ask you something. 468 00:18:54,591 --> 00:18:56,885 Does your money cheer you up when you're feeling blue? 469 00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,513 -Yes. -Okay. Bad example. 470 00:18:59,596 --> 00:19:01,723 So let me ask you this: 471 00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:04,184 Does your money ever hug you when you come home at night? 472 00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:05,644 Why, no. 473 00:19:05,727 --> 00:19:08,105 And does it ever say "I love you"? 474 00:19:08,188 --> 00:19:09,982 No, it doesn't. 475 00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:11,692 (singsongy) Nobody loves you. 476 00:19:11,775 --> 00:19:14,695 Nobody loves you. You're old and you're ugly. 477 00:19:14,778 --> 00:19:16,780 -Way to go, Homer! -Nobody loves you! 478 00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:18,073 Good heavens, Smithers. 479 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,950 They're not afraid of me anymore. 480 00:19:20,033 --> 00:19:21,160 BART: Hey, Mr. Burns. 481 00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:22,536 Did you get the letter I sent? 482 00:19:22,619 --> 00:19:23,829 Letter? I don't recall any letter-- 483 00:19:23,912 --> 00:19:25,789 That's because I forgot to stamp it! 484 00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:29,168 -Ew! -(loud laughter) 485 00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:31,628 Ah, that kid slays me. 486 00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:32,671 That was no accident. 487 00:19:32,754 --> 00:19:34,131 Let's get out of here. 488 00:19:34,214 --> 00:19:35,215 ♪ Na na nah nah ♪ 489 00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:37,134 ♪ Na na nah nah ♪ 490 00:19:37,217 --> 00:19:39,428 ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ 491 00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:40,679 ♪ Good-bye ♪ 492 00:19:40,762 --> 00:19:42,347 What good is money 493 00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:46,226 if you can't inspire terror in your fellow man? 494 00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:49,021 I've got to get my plant back. 495 00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:56,612 (screams) 496 00:19:56,695 --> 00:19:58,488 Gott in Himmel! 497 00:19:58,572 --> 00:20:00,199 Who'd have thought a nuclear plant 498 00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:02,117 could be such a death trap? 499 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,702 It will cost another 100 million 500 00:20:03,785 --> 00:20:05,787 just to bring it up to code. 501 00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:10,751 Please sell me my plant back. 502 00:20:10,834 --> 00:20:11,919 I'll pay anything. 503 00:20:12,002 --> 00:20:13,503 Isn't this a happy coincidence! 504 00:20:13,587 --> 00:20:17,132 You are desperate to buy, and we are desperate to sell. 505 00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:18,926 Desperate, eh? 506 00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:22,221 Advantage: Burns. 507 00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:23,764 This is my offer. 508 00:20:23,847 --> 00:20:25,057 I think you'll find it's most unfair, 509 00:20:25,140 --> 00:20:26,058 but those are the breaks. 510 00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:31,313 But, Mr. Burns, this is half of what we paid you. 511 00:20:31,396 --> 00:20:33,899 That's my final offer. Take it or leave it. 512 00:20:33,982 --> 00:20:36,151 All right, Mr. Burns, you win, 513 00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:41,031 but beware-- we Germans aren't all smiles und sunshine. 514 00:20:41,114 --> 00:20:43,825 (sarcastic) Ooh, the Germans are mad at me. 515 00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:44,826 I'm so scared. 516 00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:47,120 Ooh, the Germans! Uh-oh, the Ger-- 517 00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:48,705 -Stop it. -Stop that. 518 00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:50,666 Don't let the Germans come after me. 519 00:20:50,749 --> 00:20:53,001 Please stop the 'pretending you are scared' game. 520 00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:54,044 No, they're so big and strong-- 521 00:20:54,127 --> 00:20:55,671 Stop it, Mr. Burns. 522 00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:57,130 Protect me from the Germans! 523 00:20:57,214 --> 00:20:58,340 Burns! Stop it! 524 00:20:58,423 --> 00:21:00,133 (children playing) 525 00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:01,593 Get out! This is my office now! 526 00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:03,136 Get out! 527 00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:04,304 You too! 528 00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:06,014 This is a place of business 529 00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:07,975 not a pee-wee flop house. 530 00:21:08,058 --> 00:21:09,226 (crying) 531 00:21:09,309 --> 00:21:10,602 Your orders, sir. 532 00:21:10,686 --> 00:21:12,813 Restore my office, cancel all repairs, 533 00:21:12,896 --> 00:21:15,732 and rehire that chap who sassed me in the bar. 534 00:21:15,816 --> 00:21:17,484 Homer Simpson? But why? 535 00:21:17,567 --> 00:21:19,820 Smithers, I keep my friends close 536 00:21:19,903 --> 00:21:21,905 and my enemies even closer. 537 00:21:21,989 --> 00:21:23,824 He'll slowly regain his confidence 538 00:21:23,907 --> 00:21:26,034 as the months and years drift by, 539 00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,869 blissfully unaware 540 00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:31,373 that the sword of Damocles is dangling just above his head. 541 00:21:31,456 --> 00:21:35,877 And then, one day when he least expects it... 542 00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:36,878 (grunts) 543 00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:37,879 Whoo-hoo! 544 00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:39,881 I got my job back! 545 00:21:44,761 --> 00:21:47,097 ♪♪ 546 00:22:48,658 --> 00:22:49,618 Shh! 547 00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:55,957 CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.