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♪ The Simpsons ♪
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(chalk screeches)
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(bell rings)
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(work whistle blows)
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-(sucking)
-(register beeping)
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(jazzy solo)
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(tires screech)
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(tires screeching)
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(horn honks)
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(tires screech)
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00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:05,482
D'oh!
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00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:07,734
-Aah!
-(tires screech)
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(dance music playing)
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Oh, ain't that cute?
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Hey! Where in God's name
did you learn that kind of...
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dancing?
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Whoa.
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Ooh.
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Oh, yeah.
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Dad, can I have
some money
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to buy Bart
a birthday present?
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Money.
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Dad, this is $110.
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-Oh, sorry.
-MAN: That's very righteous.
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Funky See, Funky Do
will be back to lip sync
26
00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:55,198
another one of their
hits right after this.
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ANNOUNCER:
Hey, kids, why sit in front of the TV
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when you can be
on the radio?
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00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:03,706
♪ We're gonna roll
this truckin' convoy ♪
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00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:05,875
♪ Across the U.S.A. ♪
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♪ Convoy ♪
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That could be Bart.
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Throw away
your bulky transmitters
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and broadcasting towers.
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The Superstar
Celebrity Microphone
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lets you hear your voice
through any A.M. radio.
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Hey, good-looking,
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we'll be back
to pick you up later.
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Whew!
He's in for some loving.
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It's the perfect gift
for birthdays, graduations,
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-board meetings.
-You're fired.
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00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:30,108
Hmm. Bart's birthday's
coming up.
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00:02:30,191 --> 00:02:31,860
But order now,
supply is limited.
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-(gasps) Limited?
-(dialing)
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Do you have any of
those microphones left?
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Yeah, a couple.
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You know, Marge,
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Bart's really going to like
my birthday present this year.
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It won't be like
those shoe trees
50
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I got him last year
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or the shelf paper
I bought him for Christmas.
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-I'll buy his love yet.
-Mmm, yeah.
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(whistling "Happy Birthday")
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00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:01,973
Okay, Sideshow Mel,
bring out the birthday cake.
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(children laughing)
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(cheering)
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Hey, kids,
while Sideshow Mel mops up,
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Let's see the names of our
Krusty birthday pals for today.
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All right,
here comes my name.
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00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:23,745
Wow. Best eight bucks
I ever spent.
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00:03:23,828 --> 00:03:26,039
Bart,
your Grampa's on the phone.
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He wants to wish you
a happy birthday.
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Isn't that nice?
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Take a message.
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Right now, I'm off
to hit 46 local merchants
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for free birthday
goods and services.
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I'm here for my free
birthday sundae.
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Eat it and get out.
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Digital audio tape,
my butt.
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00:03:45,099 --> 00:03:47,393
When I was a kid,
we had compact discs,
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and I don't recall
no one complaining.
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Damn right.
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♪♪ (tango music playing)
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-(watch alarm beeping)
-Sorry, Rosarita.
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I got to get
to my birthday party.
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00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,532
Farewell, Señor Bart.
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00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,957
Hey, good to see you.
Glad you could make it.
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00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,542
Toby, have you lost weight?
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Uh-oh, here comes trouble.
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(chuckles)
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It's Wall E.!
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(kids cheering)
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00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:21,886
Hey, Wall E.,
do something funny.
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00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:23,388
WALL E.:
Hey, later, okay?
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00:04:23,471 --> 00:04:24,973
Hey, why don't you
go bug your parents?
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Cool, Larry the Looter.
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(chuckles) All right,
stick it to the man.
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(groans)
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00:04:48,871 --> 00:04:51,249
Hey, there.
I hear it's your birthday.
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-How old are you?
-Well, I'm...
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That's great. Would you like us
to sing you a special song?
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-Hell no.
-You got it.
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Ready, Señor Beaveratti?
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I'm a-ready.
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00:05:01,926 --> 00:05:04,053
And a-one,
and a-two...
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(singing off-key)
♪ You're the birthday ♪
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♪ You're the birthday ♪
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♪ You're the birthday boy
or girl... ♪
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What the...
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-It's a label maker.
-Mm-hmm.
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We have one at home.
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Before we got it,
I was always finding
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Patty's stubble
in my leg razor.
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(groans)
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Bart, I'll bet you think
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nothing's going
to top that cactus.
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Well,
check out my present.
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-Next.
-Bart, be polite.
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-Next, please.
-Bart, I've noticed
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your birthday presents
are a poor crop at best.
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I hope this turns the tide.
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Ooh, just gorgeous.
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Now we can be twins.
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(quizzical growl)
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Aw, there's only one can of
beer left, and it's Bart's.
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Hey, boy,
how's the microphone working?
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Fine.
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Bart! I would love
to get a present like that.
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Here you go.
Enjoy.
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D'oh!
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Listen boy, this is
a great invention. Watch.
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(off-key)
♪ We got a great big convoy ♪
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♪ Rocking through
the night ♪
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♪ We got a great big convoy,
ain't she a beautiful sight? ♪
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-♪ Convoy ♪
-(dog howling)
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Quit it, Dad!
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Hey, good-looking,
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we'll be back
for some dinner later.
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What did you say?
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I can't understand you
with all that distortion.
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(groans)
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What a crappy birthday.
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You know Bart, I don't think
this is such a bad present.
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00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:06,968
Maybe you just shouldn't
talk into it as loud as your father does.
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Testing.
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Testing one-two-three.
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Oh, my.
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Do I sound like that?
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Hey, it does work.
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I bet you could
have a lot of fun with this.
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Why don't you
go show your father?
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Hmm.
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Mmm, chocolate.
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D'oh!
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Mmm, chocolate.
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D'oh!
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Marge, we need some more
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vanilla, chocolate,
and strawberry ice cream.
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MARGE: I'll get some
at the store tomorrow, Homer.
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Mmm, chocolate.
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00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:41,752
BART: People of earth,
this is Bartron--
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commander of the Martian
invasion force.
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Your planet is in our hands.
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Resistance is useless.
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(screams)
156
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We have captured
your president.
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He was delicious.
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-Why, you little...
-(gagging)
159
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:58,186
Wait a minute.
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00:07:58,269 --> 00:07:59,896
Does this mean
you like my present?
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Uh-huh.
162
00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:03,858
Oh... Just promise me
163
00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:05,359
you won't play
any more practical jokes.
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00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:06,569
I promise.
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00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:09,614
(Bart chuckling)
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Mama. Mama.
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(gasps)
Maggie, you talked!
168
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Can you say
"mama" again?
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Sorry, lady.
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00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:24,795
Show's over.
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Oh, Bart.
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(laughing)
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I dreamed
I was married to Corey,
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and we lived
on a pony farm,
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and Corey was always
walking around
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with his shirt off.
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(both laughing)
178
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Oh, brother.
179
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(fart noise)
180
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(laughing)
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Mrs. Krabapple,
that was uncalled for.
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(grumbling)
183
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:48,945
Bravo!
184
00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:50,821
Well done, old man.
185
00:08:51,989 --> 00:08:52,865
Hmm.
186
00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:57,954
Rod, Todd, this is God.
187
00:08:58,037 --> 00:09:00,039
How did you get
on the radio?
188
00:09:00,122 --> 00:09:01,874
What do you mean,
"how did I get on the radio"?
189
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:04,126
I created the universe,
stupid kids.
190
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:05,169
Forgive my brother.
191
00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:06,629
We believe you.
192
00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:07,713
Talk is cheap.
193
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Perhaps a test
of thy faith.
194
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Walk through the wall.
195
00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:13,511
I will remove it for you...
196
00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:15,888
...later.
(laughing)
197
00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:17,473
What do you want from us?
198
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,849
I got a job for thee.
199
00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:20,977
Bring forth all the
cookies from your kitchen
200
00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:23,062
and leave them
on the Simpsons' porch.
201
00:09:23,145 --> 00:09:25,064
But those cookies belong
to our parents.
202
00:09:25,147 --> 00:09:27,900
(frustrated sigh)
Look, do you want a happy God
203
00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:29,902
-or a vengeful God?
-Happy God.
204
00:09:29,986 --> 00:09:31,612
Then quit flapping your lip,
and make with the cookies!
205
00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:33,281
-Yes, sir.
-Yes, sir.
206
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:37,326
(whistling)
207
00:09:39,704 --> 00:09:40,413
Whoops.
208
00:09:42,456 --> 00:09:43,916
(humming)
209
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,585
BART:
Help! Help!
210
00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:49,213
Sounds like trouble a-brewing
at the old well!
211
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:50,756
Help me, please.
212
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,174
I fell down the well!
213
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:53,884
I'll get help,
laddie.
214
00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:55,928
A little nip of courage.
215
00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:05,187
Out of my way!
216
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,189
Look out, you horse's arse!
217
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:08,441
(laughing)
218
00:10:08,524 --> 00:10:09,483
Sucker.
219
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,279
Huh?
Hey, what's up?
220
00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:15,698
Some poor kid
fell down a well.
221
00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:16,657
Yes!
222
00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:21,912
(high-pitched voice)
My name is Timmy O'Toole.
223
00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:23,456
I just turned ten years old.
224
00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:25,124
Timmy, where are
your parents?
225
00:10:25,207 --> 00:10:27,793
Uh... I have no family.
226
00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:29,503
I tried to enroll in school,
227
00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:31,631
but your Principal Skinner
turned me away
228
00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:33,841
-because of my shabby clothes.
-(crowd gasps)
229
00:10:33,924 --> 00:10:34,800
He's a liar.
230
00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:36,510
(crowd booing)
231
00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:39,764
The circumference
of the well is 34 inches.
232
00:10:39,847 --> 00:10:41,390
So, unfortunately,
233
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:42,808
not one member of our
city's police force
234
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:45,311
is slender enough
to rescue the boy.
235
00:10:45,394 --> 00:10:48,648
By God, men,
you're a bunch of marshmallows.
236
00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:49,774
Why don't
you go, Chief?
237
00:10:49,857 --> 00:10:50,858
Well, I'm too f...
238
00:10:50,941 --> 00:10:52,443
-...important.
-(scoffs)
239
00:10:52,526 --> 00:10:54,862
Although the well
is too dark to see the boy,
240
00:10:54,945 --> 00:10:57,448
Timmy has told us his foot
is trapped under a rock.
241
00:10:57,531 --> 00:10:59,742
Thus any attempt
to pull him up
242
00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:01,744
would snap him like a twig.
243
00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:03,204
In desperation,
the city is considering
244
00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:05,081
more unorthodox solutions.
245
00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:07,917
Grasping the child
firmly in his talons,
246
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,336
Socrates here will
fly him to safety.
247
00:11:10,419 --> 00:11:11,504
Just watch.
248
00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:17,009
(screeches)
249
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:19,220
I don't think
he's coming back.
250
00:11:19,303 --> 00:11:22,473
With this hook
and this hunk of chocolate,
251
00:11:22,556 --> 00:11:24,141
I'll land your boy,
252
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:26,102
and I'll clean him for free.
253
00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:27,478
Although we can't reach
the boy,
254
00:11:27,561 --> 00:11:29,522
we can freeze him
with liquid nitrogen
255
00:11:29,605 --> 00:11:33,401
so that future generations
can rescue him.
256
00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:37,655
Dear Lord, before we peel
the foil back from your bounty,
257
00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:40,950
we ask you to watch over
little Timmy O'Toole
258
00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:42,660
trapped in that well.
259
00:11:42,743 --> 00:11:45,079
(Bart laughing loudly)
260
00:11:45,162 --> 00:11:47,164
Bart, what's wrong with you?
261
00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:48,958
Yeah, that Timmy
is a real hero.
262
00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:50,501
How do you mean, Dad?
263
00:11:50,584 --> 00:11:54,171
Well, he fell down a well
and can't get out.
264
00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:56,048
How does that
make him a hero?
265
00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:57,883
Well, it's more
than you did.
266
00:11:57,967 --> 00:12:00,094
And finally, Channel 6's own
Krusty the Clown
267
00:12:00,177 --> 00:12:01,762
has gathered members of
the entertainment community,
268
00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:04,473
who normally steer clear
of fashionable causes,
269
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,559
for a video called
270
00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:09,729
"We're Sending Our Love
Down the Well."
271
00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:12,565
I wanted to do something
to help that boy.
272
00:12:12,648 --> 00:12:14,191
so I called my
good friend Sting.
273
00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:16,402
He said "Krusty,
when do you need me?"
274
00:12:16,485 --> 00:12:18,112
I said, "Thursday."
275
00:12:18,195 --> 00:12:19,905
He said,
"I'm busy Thursday."
276
00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:21,323
I said,
"What about Friday?"
277
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:23,409
He said, "Friday's worse
than Thursday."
278
00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:25,911
Then he said,
"How about Saturday?"
279
00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:27,413
I said "Fine."
280
00:12:27,496 --> 00:12:28,664
True story.
281
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:31,208
Yeah. I used to open
for Krusty in '69.
282
00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:33,461
In fact, he fired me
as I recall.
283
00:12:33,544 --> 00:12:35,755
(chuckles)
284
00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:37,214
Oh, Sting.
285
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:38,883
But this isn't
about show business.
286
00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:41,552
This is about some kid
down a hole or something.
287
00:12:41,635 --> 00:12:43,179
and we've all got to do
what we can.
288
00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:45,139
♪♪ (piano)
289
00:12:45,222 --> 00:12:48,184
♪ There's a hole in my heart
as deep as a well ♪
290
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:51,562
♪ For that poor little boy
who's stuck halfway to hell ♪
291
00:12:51,645 --> 00:12:54,940
♪ Though we can't get him out,
we'll do the next best thing ♪
292
00:12:55,024 --> 00:13:00,446
♪ And go on TV
and sing, sing, sing ♪
293
00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:05,242
♪ And we're sending our love
down the well ♪
294
00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:07,620
♪ All the way down ♪
295
00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:12,082
♪ We're sending our love
down the well ♪
296
00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:15,544
♪ Down that well ♪
297
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:18,631
Krusty, what are your plans
for the royalties?
298
00:13:18,714 --> 00:13:20,883
Well, we got to pay
for promotion, shipping,
299
00:13:20,966 --> 00:13:22,927
distribution.
300
00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:25,387
You know, those limos out back,
they aren't free.
301
00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:27,640
Whatever's left,
we throw down the well.
302
00:13:27,723 --> 00:13:28,891
(carnival music,
children laughing)
303
00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:33,979
Authentic Timmy O'Toole
baby teeth.
304
00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:35,689
$6.00 a bag.
305
00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:36,899
Step to the rear.
306
00:13:36,982 --> 00:13:38,984
Plenty of room
in the back.
307
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:41,403
(crowd laughing and talking)
308
00:13:44,698 --> 00:13:47,952
♪ The Itchy & Scratchy Show ♪
309
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:53,207
Hmm?
310
00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:54,083
(yells)
311
00:13:56,293 --> 00:13:58,337
(screaming)
312
00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:02,758
(chomping)
313
00:14:04,426 --> 00:14:06,554
♪♪
314
00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:10,432
Hmm?
315
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:11,809
(screaming)
316
00:14:11,892 --> 00:14:13,561
(laughing)
317
00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:16,856
-Aw.
-(dog barking)
318
00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:20,109
Drop that
microphone.
319
00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:22,361
Drop it, boy!
320
00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:25,781
This is a special report
from Channel 6 News.
321
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,908
Disturbing news
from the Old Town well
322
00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:29,618
where young Timmy O'Toole
323
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:31,996
has apparently taken
a turn for the worse.
324
00:14:32,079 --> 00:14:34,456
(growling)
325
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:37,084
It's very simple, Kent.
326
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:39,169
The child is reverting
to a feral
327
00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:42,923
or wolf-like state.
Here's an artist's conception.
328
00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:45,634
-(growling)
-Bart.
329
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,595
(snarling)
330
00:14:47,678 --> 00:14:52,099
Ahem. I was trying
to gnaw my foot off, but...
331
00:14:52,182 --> 00:14:53,767
I couldn't get through my sock.
332
00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:55,978
Good night, everybody.
(snoring)
333
00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:57,229
Bart Simpson!
334
00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:58,939
The thought of a boy
trapped in a well
335
00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:01,692
brought out the kindness
and love of the entire community.
336
00:15:01,775 --> 00:15:03,736
When they find out
you've been fooling them,
337
00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:06,864
they're gonna want to cut
you up with rusty razors.
338
00:15:06,947 --> 00:15:09,450
Oh, yeah? And how are they
gonna find out?
339
00:15:09,533 --> 00:15:11,410
The police will catch you,
sooner or later.
340
00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:13,787
The police. (scoffs)
They couldn't catch a cold.
341
00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:16,081
Maybe not, but I bet
you're stupid enough
342
00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:19,877
to have left a "Property of Bart Simpson"
label on that radio.
343
00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:26,926
D'oh!
344
00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:28,761
"And Cinderella had
345
00:15:28,844 --> 00:15:31,805
"the most beautiful gown
at the ball
346
00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:34,308
"with eight
satin petticoats
347
00:15:34,391 --> 00:15:37,353
each more delicate
than the last."
348
00:15:37,436 --> 00:15:38,896
I think he's asleep.
349
00:15:38,979 --> 00:15:40,147
Want to get
a cup of coffee?
350
00:15:40,230 --> 00:15:42,107
Okay.
Brave little guy.
351
00:15:46,403 --> 00:15:47,321
(grunts)
352
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:55,162
(grunting)
353
00:15:55,245 --> 00:15:56,497
(yells)
354
00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,542
Hey. Almost tripped
over this thing.
355
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,544
(screaming)
356
00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:08,759
Ugh!
357
00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:11,762
(groaning)
358
00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:14,264
What did I do to deserve this?
359
00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:16,058
Help! Help!
360
00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:17,810
I fell down the well.
361
00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:19,228
Tell us something
we don't know.
362
00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:20,938
(policemen laughing)
363
00:16:21,021 --> 00:16:24,108
No, my name is Bart Simpson.
364
00:16:24,191 --> 00:16:26,193
What are you doing
down there?
365
00:16:26,276 --> 00:16:28,445
Look, I'll level with you.
366
00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:30,197
There is no Timmy O'Toole.
367
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:34,410
It was just a prank
I was playing on everybody.
368
00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:36,870
Well, you sure
fooled us, kid.
369
00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:38,455
Hey, I got an idea
for a prank.
370
00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:41,375
Let's go home
and go to sleep.
371
00:16:41,458 --> 00:16:43,252
(laughing)
372
00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:44,837
Good one, Eddie.
373
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:47,131
Ha, ha. Great joke, guys.
374
00:16:47,214 --> 00:16:50,342
(fake laughing)
375
00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:53,137
-Guys?
-(wolf howls in distance)
376
00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:56,682
So I'm afraid your son
is trapped down the well.
377
00:16:56,765 --> 00:16:59,977
You must think we're the worst
parents in the world.
378
00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:02,896
Yes, that's pretty much
the feeling down at the station.
379
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,694
Don't worry, son.
Just 'cause you're trapped in a hole
380
00:17:08,777 --> 00:17:10,988
doesn't mean you can't live
a rich and full life.
381
00:17:11,071 --> 00:17:13,407
I brought you your Krusty doll.
382
00:17:13,490 --> 00:17:14,450
Ow!
383
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:16,452
Knock it off, you bald boob!
384
00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:18,037
Hey! Don't make me
come down there!
385
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:19,246
Like to see you fit.
386
00:17:19,329 --> 00:17:20,456
Why you little--
387
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,750
-Put a man on him.
-(grunting)
388
00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:24,668
I like the other boy.
389
00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:25,961
So polite.
390
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:29,214
What are you doing
to save my baby boy?
391
00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:31,842
Well, ma'am, we've located
a piece of machinery
392
00:17:31,925 --> 00:17:33,177
in Shreveport,
Louisiana
393
00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,721
that could pop him out
lickety-split.
394
00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:37,389
Well, why don't you get it?
395
00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:39,475
Well, I'm afraid we've
got a budget problem, Mrs. Simpson.
396
00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:41,894
Your boy picked a bad time
to fall down a well.
397
00:17:41,977 --> 00:17:44,813
Had he done it at the start of
the fiscal year, no problemo.
398
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:46,482
You're telling me
that the city won't pay
399
00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:48,317
to get a boy
out of a well?
400
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:51,070
Well they would have for Timmy.
People love that little guy.
401
00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:54,990
But your son, well, he kinda
played us all for a bunch of saps.
402
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,492
Mmm...
403
00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:59,745
So it seems we've all been
the victims of a cruel hoax
404
00:17:59,828 --> 00:18:02,414
perpetrated by
a ten-year-old hooligan.
405
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:03,999
The time has come
for finger pointing,
406
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,834
and most of them
are squarely aimed
407
00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:07,252
at the boy's parents.
408
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:08,462
It's not our fault.
409
00:18:08,545 --> 00:18:09,546
We didn't want the boy.
410
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:10,672
He was an accident.
411
00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:11,965
Homer!
412
00:18:12,049 --> 00:18:14,051
Could you edit
that last part out?
413
00:18:14,134 --> 00:18:15,594
Mr. Simpson, we're live,
coast to coast.
414
00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:17,262
D'oh!
415
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:19,890
♪ One plus one
plus three is five ♪
416
00:18:19,973 --> 00:18:22,434
♪ Little Bart Simpson's
buried alive ♪
417
00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:24,561
♪ He's so neat,
he's so sweet ♪
418
00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:26,939
♪ Now the rats
have Bart to eat... ♪
419
00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:27,981
Hey, stop that!
420
00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:29,566
Oh. Sorry, Lisa.
421
00:18:31,693 --> 00:18:33,779
♪ How many days
until Bart croaks? ♪
422
00:18:33,862 --> 00:18:35,823
♪ One, two, three, four... ♪
423
00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:40,702
And our new number one hit,
"I Do Believe We're Naked"
424
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:42,329
by Funky See, Funky Do
425
00:18:42,412 --> 00:18:44,623
replaces "We're Sending
Our Love Down the Well,"
426
00:18:44,706 --> 00:18:48,252
which plunges
all the way down to number 97.
427
00:18:48,335 --> 00:18:50,170
Ever since I called
for the rescue
428
00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:52,756
of that Simpson lad,
I have taken a lot of heat,
429
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:54,800
so I am flip-flopping.
430
00:18:54,883 --> 00:18:57,511
I say let him stay down there.
431
00:18:57,594 --> 00:18:59,680
(cheering)
432
00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:03,934
(ringing)
433
00:19:04,017 --> 00:19:05,477
Yeah, Shutton here.
434
00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:07,437
Now that's a story.
435
00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:19,116
Bart, honey, I made you
an extra warm sweater
436
00:19:19,199 --> 00:19:21,952
you can wear while
you're down in the well.
437
00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:23,745
Mom, it's too big.
438
00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:25,455
Don't worry,
you'll grow into it.
439
00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:26,623
Homer!
440
00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:27,624
You know, I've done
441
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:29,251
a lot of bad stuff
through the years.
442
00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:31,670
I guess now
I'm paying the price,
443
00:19:31,753 --> 00:19:34,673
but there's so many things
I'll never get a chance to do.
444
00:19:34,756 --> 00:19:36,383
Smoke a cigarette,
445
00:19:36,466 --> 00:19:38,135
Use a fake I.D.,
446
00:19:38,218 --> 00:19:41,763
Shave a swear word
in my hair...
447
00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:45,142
(sniffling)
448
00:19:45,225 --> 00:19:48,520
That's all I can stands.
I can't stands no more.
449
00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:50,522
I'm going to get you
out of there myself.
450
00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:53,859
(Homer grunting)
451
00:20:00,407 --> 00:20:02,242
Now why didn't I think of that?
452
00:20:04,244 --> 00:20:06,622
Agnes, we've got work to do.
453
00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:14,213
(grunting)
454
00:20:16,673 --> 00:20:19,676
This is Kent Brockman
with a special bulletin.
455
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:22,512
The Lincoln squirrel
has been assassinated.
456
00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:24,932
We'll stay with the story
all night, if we have to.
457
00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:29,228
What's going on?
458
00:20:29,311 --> 00:20:31,813
It's an old-fashioned
hole digging.
459
00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:34,233
By gar, it's been a while.
460
00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:44,159
(grunting)
461
00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:46,828
(gasping)
462
00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:48,163
The canary.
463
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:49,414
Gas!
464
00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:50,916
Out of the hole!
465
00:20:50,999 --> 00:20:52,417
(screaming)
466
00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:56,255
Gentlemen, this canary
died of natural causes.
467
00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:58,006
Back in the hole!
468
00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,258
(screaming)
469
00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:02,594
(panting)
470
00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:03,929
Sting, you look tired.
471
00:21:04,012 --> 00:21:05,472
Maybe you should
take a rest.
472
00:21:05,555 --> 00:21:08,350
Not while one
of my fans needs me.
473
00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:11,228
Actually, I don't know if I've ever heard
Bart play one of your albums.
474
00:21:11,311 --> 00:21:14,523
Shh! Marge,
he's a good digger.
475
00:21:14,606 --> 00:21:16,650
(panting)
476
00:21:16,733 --> 00:21:18,694
Uhh!
477
00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:19,903
Sting!
478
00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:22,281
Mom! Dad!
479
00:21:22,364 --> 00:21:24,866
Oh, Bart,
I've missed you so much.
480
00:21:26,368 --> 00:21:29,246
Man, I was
so scared.
481
00:21:29,329 --> 00:21:30,831
Don't worry, son.
482
00:21:30,914 --> 00:21:32,291
They're going to make sure
483
00:21:32,374 --> 00:21:35,043
no one ever falls down
this well again.
484
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:39,131
(grunting)
485
00:21:39,214 --> 00:21:40,716
That should do it.
486
00:21:46,638 --> 00:21:50,225
♪♪
487
00:22:50,452 --> 00:22:51,578
Shh!
488
00:22:55,290 --> 00:22:58,502
CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY
ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.