1
00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:06,256
辛普森一家

2
00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:07,674
<i>欢迎莅临春田核电厂</i>

3
00:00:11,219 --> 00:00:12,262
<i>春田小学</i>

4
00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:18,351
<i>我不教别人飞行</i>

5
00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:26,901
<i>注意安全</i>

6
00:00:26,985 --> 00:00:28,570
<i>《妈妈杂志》 小丑库斯提麦片</i>

7
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,958
居民收 住户启

8
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:26,419
柠檬乐免费试用品

9
00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:27,754
拿来啦

10
00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,840
霍默 那是洗碗精

11
00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:32,425
对啊 不然你想怎样

12
00:01:35,428 --> 00:01:38,223
核电厂要为某人办荣退派对

13
00:01:38,306 --> 00:01:39,933
真希望我能退休

14
00:01:40,266 --> 00:01:42,143
天哪 那就太赞了

15
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,064
你好啊 芳邻

16
00:01:46,189 --> 00:01:48,983
天气真好 我点燃了烟斗

17
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,068
没空聊 在忙

18
00:01:50,151 --> 00:01:51,528
好吧

19
00:01:52,028 --> 00:01:54,114
你有注意到他多歪斜吗

20
00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:56,324
好棒的天意啊

21
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,416
我们家有一边好像下陷了

22
00:02:12,882 --> 00:02:16,136
《胡搞瞎搞修复地基指南》

23
00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:20,306
你好 我是楚伊·麦克洛尔

24
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,642
你们可能看过我的教学录像带

25
00:02:22,725 --> 00:02:24,644
《战舰封存指南》

26
00:02:24,894 --> 00:02:27,522
《自掘坟墓自救指南》

27
00:02:27,897 --> 00:02:29,232
好 在接下来的六个小时

28
00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:32,402
我会教你们该做和不该做的事

29
00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:34,195
整修好你家地基

30
00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:35,446
-准备好没
-好了

31
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:38,032
先补好平面裂缝

32
00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:41,077
要用到乳胶土和补土铲刀

33
00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:43,580
我的补土铲刀拿来 小子

34
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:49,627
你铺好了聚氯乙烯隔热泡棉没

35
00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:50,712
-没
-很好

36
00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:54,340
利用网席钉安装好整线收纳槽

37
00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:56,342
-装好了
-我怎么…

38
00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:57,927
在层板上涂好可粉刷涂料后

39
00:02:58,052 --> 00:02:59,762
-等一下
-你会需要防蚀…

40
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:00,930
金属灰泥车床

41
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:04,475
-等一下
-要是找不到金属灰泥车床

42
00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:06,853
就用碳纤灰泥车床

43
00:03:08,062 --> 00:03:09,772
现在猛撞车床

44
00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:12,609
<i>粗鲁老乔 修复地基</i>

45
00:03:17,238 --> 00:03:18,573
看到气泡没

46
00:03:18,656 --> 00:03:21,242
你家整个西侧都下陷了

47
00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:24,412
可能要花你…8500整修费

48
00:03:24,495 --> 00:03:27,582
休想 又不是只有你会修复地基

49
00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:28,917
<i>春田电话簿</i>

50
00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:31,127
<i>粗鲁老乔修复地基公司</i>
<i>是城里唯一的修复地基公司</i>

51
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,087
我看看 修复地基 有了…可恶

52
00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:35,173
现在是副总统说了算

53
00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:39,677
好 比塞塔 一边凉快去

54
00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:42,305
这则新闻可不是在同一水平的

55
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:49,229
请看恐怖的斜屋怪谈

56
00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:51,356
看看住在其中的诡怪生物

57
00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:55,109
叫他秃驴 无发男

58
00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,697
他丑死了

59
00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,911
我们得想想办法

60
00:04:04,994 --> 00:04:07,747
玛琦 要花8500啊

61
00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:10,416
我们户头里只有500块 还差…

62
00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:12,710
8千啊

63
00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:13,878
我可以去找工作

64
00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:15,088
嘿

65
00:04:15,171 --> 00:04:17,215
那我就能去追梦了

66
00:04:17,298 --> 00:04:20,301
住在森林里写日记 记下我的思绪

67
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:25,640
3月15日 但愿我有带电视来

68
00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:28,685
天哪 我超想念电视

69
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:33,398
你也得继续工作才行

70
00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:37,735
<i>好时髦特快车</i>

71
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,946
它是史上最美丽…

72
00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:42,198
最昂贵的火车

73
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,950
好时髦特快车

74
00:04:44,033 --> 00:04:47,203
有人说它巨大到无法留在铁轨上

75
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:48,955
他们说对了

76
00:04:49,038 --> 00:04:51,165
我们来参加荣退派对的

77
00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:52,875
请跟着无头刹车手走

78
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,919
核电厂荣退派对

79
00:04:55,586 --> 00:04:56,838
这边请

80
00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:01,676
<i>春田核电厂荣退派对</i>

81
00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:03,845
今晚我们聚在这里

82
00:05:03,928 --> 00:05:06,222
向我们的亲爱朋友致敬

83
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:07,223
无聊

84
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,351
他奉献给了伯恩斯集团

85
00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:12,437
45年的忠诚服务

86
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,063
杰克·马里先生

87
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:15,064
无聊

88
00:05:16,941 --> 00:05:19,694
伯恩斯先生 若你不介意
我为杰克的特别之夜

89
00:05:19,777 --> 00:05:21,487
准备了精彩歌舞

90
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,909
<i>有位先生…</i>

91
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:28,578
<i>特定的先生…</i>

92
00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:30,246
<i>优雅高贵 英俊潇洒</i>

93
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,165
<i>举世闻名</i>

94
00:05:32,248 --> 00:05:33,833
<i>你们久仰大名…</i>

95
00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:35,585
<i>他就是伯恩斯先生…</i>

96
00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:36,836
<i>他爱吞云吐雾</i>

97
00:05:36,919 --> 00:05:38,421
<i>爱听笑话</i>

98
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:41,841
<i>他的价值超过身价十倍</i>

99
00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:43,926
<i>-他就是伯恩斯先生</i>
<i>-我就是伯恩斯先生</i>

100
00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:45,803
<i>-他是蒙蒂·伯恩斯</i>
<i>-我是伯恩斯先生</i>

101
00:05:45,928 --> 00:05:47,638
<i>朋友都叫他小蒙</i>

102
00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:51,434
<i>你要尊称伯恩斯先生</i>

103
00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:52,935
<i>伯…恩斯</i>

104
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,270
<i>伯恩斯</i>

105
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,147
我可以说几句话吗

106
00:05:56,230 --> 00:05:57,857
我…

107
00:05:57,940 --> 00:06:01,486
我需要大家关注
因为这是我的派对啊

108
00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:04,447
拜托别逼我退休

109
00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:06,699
我就只能靠工作活下去了

110
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:09,202
我是单身汉 我的狗又死了

111
00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:13,373
-我还没讲完
-你完了

112
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,924
在马里先生离开后

113
00:06:23,007 --> 00:06:26,469
7G区会有个入门级的职缺

114
00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:28,346
滚出去 酒馆打烊了

115
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:32,725
也许我该去应征那工作

116
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:34,977
算了 玛琦 我们已经住在一起了

117
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,562
不该一起工作

118
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:37,897
就像《圣经》说的

119
00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:41,526
“你不该闯入老公火箭里”

120
00:06:41,609 --> 00:06:43,486
《圣经》哪里提过火箭了

121
00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:44,529
提过

122
00:06:44,612 --> 00:06:47,073
玛琦 我们没那么缺钱

123
00:07:04,173 --> 00:07:06,759
莉萨 我打好简历了

124
00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:08,261
<i>玛琦·辛普森 简历</i>

125
00:07:08,344 --> 00:07:10,304
<i>家庭主妇 1980年至今</i>

126
00:07:10,721 --> 00:07:12,432
它可能需要修改一下

127
00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:17,311
你要打什么上去

128
00:07:18,062 --> 00:07:19,605
等我打好

129
00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:25,027
司机 裁缝

130
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:27,405
大型哺乳动物馆馆长？

131
00:07:27,488 --> 00:07:29,782
玛琦 有看到我的午餐盒吗

132
00:07:30,658 --> 00:07:32,118
哦 我懂了

133
00:07:33,077 --> 00:07:35,621
妈 他们料想你会撒点小谎的

134
00:07:35,746 --> 00:07:37,957
曾任职卡特总统内阁？

135
00:07:38,082 --> 00:07:40,001
你投票给他两次啊

136
00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:42,128
莉萨 说不定有人在听哦

137
00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:46,924
我还以为那首歌是马帝·华特斯写的

138
00:07:48,217 --> 00:07:50,511
这份简历令人惊叹

139
00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:53,139
<i>让我成为第一位说…的吧</i>

140
00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:55,850
-什么
-欢迎加入

141
00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:58,186
看来我的史瓦希利语没你好

142
00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:00,354
对

143
00:08:01,522 --> 00:08:03,232
抱歉 有人录取了

144
00:08:05,401 --> 00:08:06,486
讨厌

145
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,155
玛琦 你在犯天大错误

146
00:08:09,238 --> 00:08:12,241
我得在公司整天看到你
在家整夜看到你

147
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:14,952
好棒啊

148
00:08:15,244 --> 00:08:16,787
但有很糟的一点

149
00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:22,627
看看头条新闻 “加拿大举办公投”

150
00:08:22,710 --> 00:08:23,961
抱歉 玛琦 没空聊

151
00:08:24,128 --> 00:08:25,296
我们需要那笔钱

152
00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:27,298
我生活又很无聊

153
00:08:27,381 --> 00:08:30,301
上星期耶和华见证会传教士登门

154
00:08:30,384 --> 00:08:31,969
我不放他们走

155
00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:34,931
他们趁我去厨房拿柠檬水时
偷溜了出去

156
00:08:35,431 --> 00:08:37,141
对 柠檬水很好喝

157
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:38,684
我觉得很好

158
00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:41,354
爸妈同心协力在核电厂工作

159
00:08:41,562 --> 00:08:44,023
你们就像玛丽和皮埃尔居里夫妇

160
00:08:44,106 --> 00:08:46,317
-他们做了什么
-发现了镭

161
00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:49,195
最后都死于辐射危害

162
00:08:57,912 --> 00:08:59,497
居里夫妇来了 快逃

163
00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:08,047
酷

164
00:09:09,131 --> 00:09:11,008
玛琦 千万切记

165
00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:12,802
要是核电厂出状况

166
00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:15,263
推给不会讲英语的人

167
00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:19,308
蒂博尔 你救过我多少遍啊

168
00:09:21,477 --> 00:09:23,646
玛吉 你的保姆来了哟

169
00:09:25,147 --> 00:09:26,315
这什么意思

170
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:29,610
你一定病了 我看看

171
00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:30,778
老华希伯尔尼医生的处方是啥

172
00:09:30,861 --> 00:09:32,196
<i>《婴幼儿疾病指南》</i>
<i>华希伯尔尼医生石棉丸著</i>

173
00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:33,531
你有水肿吗

174
00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:35,157
流感吗 岩尺蛾吗

175
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:36,993
蒸气？丛林皮病？

176
00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:39,495
棚屋热？穷人痛风？

177
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:43,207
女仆膝？气候疮？

178
00:09:43,332 --> 00:09:45,751
眩晕症？黑热病？

179
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:48,796
你的办公室到了

180
00:09:48,879 --> 00:09:50,256
傻气的蒂博尔搞丢了钥匙

181
00:09:50,339 --> 00:09:52,842
但你可以信用卡弄开门

182
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:56,596
好好玩吧

183
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:58,431
我要做什么

184
00:09:58,514 --> 00:10:02,727
玛琦 少来 根据你的简历
这机器是你发明的

185
00:10:13,654 --> 00:10:16,157
放下书 同学们 英语考试时间到

186
00:10:19,827 --> 00:10:22,204
偏偏考试这天病了

187
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:24,498
为什么

188
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:27,168
巴特 你看过《狼来了》吗

189
00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:29,587
看过一半 我发誓

190
00:10:37,261 --> 00:10:39,930
玛琦 你干嘛 现在是午休

191
00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:42,600
一下就好 我得写好这份报告

192
00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:47,980
<i>玛琦…归档为“再见”档就好</i>

193
00:10:50,941 --> 00:10:52,401
它会去哪儿

194
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,820
放心 宝贝 管道都知道

195
00:11:15,257 --> 00:11:16,425
好消息 小子

196
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,844
我找到有卖水蛭的药房了

197
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:20,721
其实那不算是药房啦

198
00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,223
比较像钓饵店

199
00:11:22,306 --> 00:11:23,683
爷爷 你看 我很好

200
00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:25,393
真的不需要任何祖传疗法了

201
00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:27,853
口用体温计 真见鬼

202
00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:32,608
想想温暖地带 小子
因为会很冰凉哦

203
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:39,448
顽童

204
00:11:40,282 --> 00:11:41,492
浪费时间者

205
00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:43,411
面条脑袋

206
00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:47,123
妖妇

207
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:49,458
那个女人如此迷人

208
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:52,002
让我心跳快得像小鹿乱撞

209
00:11:56,882 --> 00:11:58,801
我要拥有她 斯密瑟斯 拉近

210
00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:00,553
近一点…

211
00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:01,554
近点 可恶

212
00:12:03,764 --> 00:12:04,974
太近了

213
00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:12,398
-你好
-伯恩斯先生

214
00:12:12,481 --> 00:12:14,108
不必紧张

215
00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:16,902
我只是来送你兰花和沐浴精油的

216
00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:18,821
我对员工都超大方

217
00:12:18,946 --> 00:12:21,574
你人真好

218
00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:25,703
但核电厂工作士气怎会如此低落

219
00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:33,711
我是亡命天使

220
00:12:33,794 --> 00:12:35,546
纯化时刻到

221
00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:37,131
谁在乎啊

222
00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:38,758
玛琦 我们能怎么做

223
00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:41,886
你可以给他们更健康的点心

224
00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:42,970
主题日活动

225
00:12:43,053 --> 00:12:45,055
像童工日吗

226
00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:48,392
我想到的是搞笑帽子日

227
00:12:49,351 --> 00:12:52,313
再播放汤姆·琼斯的歌如何

228
00:12:52,396 --> 00:12:53,689
我听了都会很开心

229
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,452
成功了

230
00:13:06,535 --> 00:13:08,996
健康点心来啰

231
00:13:09,079 --> 00:13:10,956
你不能拿走我们甜甜圈

232
00:13:15,419 --> 00:13:17,671
好了 还有谁想逞英雄的

233
00:13:19,757 --> 00:13:22,593
玛琦 我要给你加薪 换新办公室

234
00:13:22,718 --> 00:13:24,053
就在我隔壁

235
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:27,515
但那是我的办公室

236
00:13:27,681 --> 00:13:31,018
放心 斯密瑟斯
我会把你放去最忙的地方

237
00:13:31,101 --> 00:13:32,228
<i>男厕</i>

238
00:13:33,437 --> 00:13:35,898
像春天一样馨香 像冬天一样雪白

239
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:37,483
还有什么更好的

240
00:13:37,566 --> 00:13:39,401
天啊 我憋不住了

241
00:13:39,568 --> 00:13:41,779
不

242
00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:44,156
巴特 你感觉如何

243
00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:46,116
没得抱怨

244
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:48,369
那你就可以补考了？

245
00:13:48,452 --> 00:13:51,455
我的卵巢

246
00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:54,375
<i>春田小学</i>

247
00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:56,836
真好骗

248
00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:59,296
你有看过《狼来了》吗

249
00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:00,631
瞄过

250
00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:02,842
男孩喊狼来了 笑到肚子痛

251
00:14:03,050 --> 00:14:04,051
我忘了结局了

252
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,471
巴特 那是绿灯吗

253
00:14:07,596 --> 00:14:09,640
-对
-最好是

254
00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:11,058
嘿

255
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,019
霍默 怎么了

256
00:14:14,436 --> 00:14:16,981
我曾看很多人比我先升官

257
00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:19,733
朋友 同事 蒂博尔

258
00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:22,194
没想到自己老婆也一样

259
00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:25,114
也许你认真点工作 也会升官的

260
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:27,908
开什么玩笑 我工作累得像狗

261
00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:30,911
是吗 我今天去看过你三次

262
00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:32,079
你两次在睡觉

263
00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:34,748
一次在乱踢用胶带捆的球

264
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:39,169
我不跟认为我是懒鬼的女人睡

265
00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:42,256
我要下楼去翻开沙发床

266
00:14:42,339 --> 00:14:44,091
打开睡袋…

267
00:14:45,217 --> 00:14:46,385
晚安

268
00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:55,728
我昨夜又梦到她 斯密瑟斯

269
00:14:56,228 --> 00:14:59,148
你躺床上 她们从窗飞入的那种梦？

270
00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:11,619
你一直偷看我的心愿小册 老板

271
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:12,745
没错 斯密瑟斯

272
00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:15,581
我要你在我的豪宅里安排双人派对

273
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,750
我跟玛琦

274
00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:20,377
你能找到艾尔·乔逊吗

275
00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:22,963
记得我们那么做过吗

276
00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:24,924
对喔 他死了

277
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:26,342
还相当泼辣

278
00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:28,761
那夜后来的一切 我只想忘掉

279
00:15:28,844 --> 00:15:31,805
那好吧 带来她超爱的低音歌手吧

280
00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:33,140
汤姆·琼斯

281
00:15:33,223 --> 00:15:35,601
<i>嘻哈 乡村西部日</i>

282
00:15:36,810 --> 00:15:39,229
这些马刺快搞挂我了

283
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:41,065
嘿 坐上去

284
00:15:41,148 --> 00:15:43,817
兄弟 下周三才是50年代日

285
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,736
我得回家换造型

286
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:52,826
工资拿去

287
00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:55,496
问题其实是出在漏水

288
00:15:55,579 --> 00:15:57,331
只要买个五毛钱的垫圈…

289
00:15:57,414 --> 00:15:59,249
我有更好的点子

290
00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:00,334
滚出去

291
00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:03,504
我车上有垫圈 送你一个

292
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:05,673
玛琦 拿枪来

293
00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:09,009
<i>玫瑰金高跟鞋</i>

294
00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:10,803
<i>今晚 汤姆·琼斯驻唱</i>

295
00:16:13,555 --> 00:16:15,015
-汤姆·琼斯吗
-我是

296
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:18,185
有兴趣在私人派对演唱吗

297
00:16:18,268 --> 00:16:20,354
抱歉 我不唱私人派对的

298
00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:23,107
也许你该看看这个公事箱

299
00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:24,775
好 但我看不出…

300
00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:30,280
祝好梦 琼斯先生

301
00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:34,576
巴特 为逃避考试
你得过天花 潜水员病…

302
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:37,246
还有很不幸的狂犬病

303
00:16:37,413 --> 00:16:38,580
我好像还没好哦

304
00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:41,125
滚蛋 女巫

305
00:16:43,043 --> 00:16:44,628
别再找借口了

306
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,800
<i>库提斯摄影棚</i>
<i>此时 在不远处…</i>

307
00:16:49,883 --> 00:16:53,429
她的利爪深深刺入我的头骨

308
00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:55,305
她可用利爪抓爆蛤蜊

309
00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:57,099
弄走她…

310
00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,977
我们还请来了阿拉斯加大灰狼

311
00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:01,437
他重240磅

312
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,480
咬合力强到能咬穿停车定时器

313
00:17:03,605 --> 00:17:05,524
嘈杂噪音会吓到他

314
00:17:05,607 --> 00:17:09,236
吵？那是我们今天通关密语耶

315
00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:11,989
<i>吵</i>

316
00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:22,875
老天啊

317
00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:25,669
她一定以为你想要她的鸟蛋

318
00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:27,046
我只吃掉一颗啦

319
00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:32,384
乖狗狗

320
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:37,931
<i>春田小学</i>

321
00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:43,020
《撒克逊英雄传》
讲的是俄国农人和农具的故事

322
00:17:46,106 --> 00:17:48,442
狼来了…

323
00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:50,402
你得再用心一点才行哦

324
00:17:53,113 --> 00:17:54,406
抱歉 我不信

325
00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:58,577
你在浪费宝贵考试时间

326
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:00,287
<i>头皮蜡</i>

327
00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:04,124
伯恩斯先生 你想见我？

328
00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:10,464
不知你今晚有没有空来小聚一下

329
00:18:10,547 --> 00:18:12,424
共进晚餐 共舞 共赏…

330
00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:15,177
汤姆·琼斯先生

331
00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:16,512
你好 玛琦

332
00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:20,974
很好 微笑 皆大欢喜

333
00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:23,519
我的天哪

334
00:18:24,978 --> 00:18:27,397
我老公会超开心的

335
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:29,650
你有老公？

336
00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:32,611
对 我都可以想象他的样子

337
00:18:32,694 --> 00:18:34,113
强健俊美

338
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:35,948
衣服打结披在肩上

339
00:18:36,323 --> 00:18:39,993
在阳光中闪耀着猛男金光

340
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:45,707
霍默 伯恩斯先生今天又给我加薪了

341
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:48,502
那个老笨蛋

342
00:18:50,754 --> 00:18:51,922
你被开除了

343
00:18:52,005 --> 00:18:54,716
不能因为我已婚就开除我

344
00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:56,677
我要告到你脱裤子

345
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:59,179
要我脱裤子 不必告我哦

346
00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:11,525
小狼 放下开胃小菜

347
00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:14,862
该上主菜了

348
00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:21,326
起来

349
00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:22,703
回班上去 小子

350
00:19:22,786 --> 00:19:24,037
没什么好看的

351
00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:33,338
这是我的考卷

352
00:19:33,630 --> 00:19:35,507
巴特 我连打分数都不想

353
00:19:35,632 --> 00:19:37,718
除非你老实说外头出了什么事

354
00:19:38,051 --> 00:19:39,052
真相是…

355
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:47,477
狼没来 一切都我乱编的

356
00:19:47,561 --> 00:19:49,396
我现在只想躺平

357
00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:51,481
拜托别让我吞舌头

358
00:19:52,566 --> 00:19:55,068
看吧 说实话是不是感觉好多了

359
00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:00,407
哦 天哪

360
00:20:01,408 --> 00:20:02,701
好了 小子

361
00:20:02,784 --> 00:20:05,954
下次月圆 得给你擦点大蒜

362
00:20:07,664 --> 00:20:09,708
打输了 不必难过

363
00:20:09,791 --> 00:20:13,879
你还在吸奶时 我就在战狼了

364
00:20:17,424 --> 00:20:21,345
玛琦 看那么多苍蝇绕着你飞

365
00:20:21,428 --> 00:20:23,347
你好糟糕 女人

366
00:20:26,558 --> 00:20:27,684
<i>无法置信 这是律师事务所</i>

367
00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:29,436
你认为我有胜算吗

368
00:20:29,519 --> 00:20:31,730
辛普森太太 算你走运

369
00:20:31,813 --> 00:20:34,942
我正好需要你的性骚扰案件

370
00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:36,818
来重建我破碎的事业

371
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,820
要一起喝一杯吗

372
00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:41,240
现在才早上9点半

373
00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:43,158
对 但我多天没睡了

374
00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:46,119
最后机会

375
00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:49,665
哦 耶

376
00:20:51,124 --> 00:20:53,377
伯恩斯先生 我们有目击证人
前例…

377
00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:55,170
跟排起来长一英里的报告

378
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:58,507
很好 但我有十位高价律师

379
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:06,223
他丢下公文包跑了

380
00:21:06,306 --> 00:21:08,809
装满了碎报纸

381
00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:11,270
应该玩完了吧

382
00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:13,647
我们这种人伸张不起正义

383
00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:17,109
霍默 我们走吧
免得他连你也炒了

384
00:21:17,192 --> 00:21:18,986
我不走 伯恩斯先生

385
00:21:19,152 --> 00:21:22,739
你没为所做所为向我老婆道歉
我就不走

386
00:21:23,615 --> 00:21:25,242
你也爱她？

387
00:21:25,367 --> 00:21:26,660
没错

388
00:21:26,743 --> 00:21:30,080
霍默 我要你带这女人
共享人生最美好时光

389
00:21:30,163 --> 00:21:32,165
懂了 玛琦 我们去得来速餐厅

390
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:34,001
然后再去第二趟

391
00:21:34,167 --> 00:21:35,335
不可以

392
00:21:35,419 --> 00:21:38,588
我想到更特别的安排了

393
00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:51,727
去求救 亲爱的 打给国际刑警

394
00:21:51,810 --> 00:21:53,437
帮我弄来钢锯什么的

395
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:00,962
字幕翻译：侯敏生