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辛普森一家
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欢迎莅临春田核电厂
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春田小学
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小朋友不能喝咖啡
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注意安全
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《妈妈杂志》 小丑库斯提麦片
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营业中
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不
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《春田警界风云录》
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恶警
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恶警
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恶警
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恶警
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春田恶警在办案
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我们钱赚那么少 你们奢望什么
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不管在车上或马上
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执法过当又怎样
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恶警
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《春田警界风云录》
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恶警
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兄弟们 该逮捕偷牛贼了
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你们在搞什么
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这里不是长青街742号吗
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隔壁才是
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差一点 但没甜甜圈了 警察
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我是熊爸
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发出全面通缉 男性犯嫌驾驶一辆…
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车子之类的
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行驶方向为…
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卖辣酱那家店的方向
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犯㺌没戴帽子 重复 没戴帽子
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好期待他们把那没戴帽的混蛋
丢进牢里去哦
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老公 你真不该在床上暴吃了
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健怡可乐
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对你的心脏不好
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我的心脏好得…
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霍默 怎么了
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只是努力想咽下那口火鸡肉
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咽下去了
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莉萨 昨晚发生严重火车事故
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-想看受害者惨状吗
-好啊
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巴特 好恶心
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你说得对 埋进海里去吧
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爸
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怎么了
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你们知道有种感觉像…
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千把火刀同时刺进你心脏那样？
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像我现在这样
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培根
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霍默 我特地为你准备了特别惊喜
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只有一种可能
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最棒的肉肉在屁屁哦
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享用吧
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这是什么鬼
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好好吃健康燕麦
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燕麦 好美妙的食物
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里面有只虫
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-并没有
-相信我
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爸 那上面有只虫
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埃德加·爱伦坡诞生处
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快啊
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注意 车宽
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天哪
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看你干得好事
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加油站 服务区
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我一直听见不规律的可怕砰砰声
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加油站
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是你的心脏哦 它可能快不行了
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我还怕是变速箱有状况呢
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嘿 他要去哪
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比利 记得我们老是修不好的
老普利茅斯吗
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要卖给尼卡波波洛斯先生那台
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你好无趣 比利
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甜甜圈
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看那头猪在为我卖命的上班时间
塞得满嘴满脸甜甜圈
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很好 继续吃
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你浑然不知快吃到有毒甜甜圈
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里面有个甜甜圈有毒吧 斯密瑟斯
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没有 我跟律师讨论过
他们认为那是谋杀
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去他们的吧
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把他带来见我
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放轻松 辛普森
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我只是让你来友善地说声你好
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跟再见 你被炒了
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但等等 也许我太心急了
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你技术优越
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又爱鬼混
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不要担心 霍默
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你这种人是我很喜欢
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活埋的人
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你的惰性无药可救
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那表示你很渣
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伯恩斯先生 他好像死了
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天哪
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送条火腿去给他未亡人
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火腿
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不 等等 他还活着
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-很好 别送火腿了
-不
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小心野鹿飞越
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哇 你看看
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他们怎么知道在那过马路啊
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急诊
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急诊室
创伤室
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请勿吸烟
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我跟你们说没用的
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看吧
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他本来想大咬一口 下巴就脱臼了
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看好 可放进整个拳头耶
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嘿
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你说什么 局长
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恶警
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恶警
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布力斯特先生买三送一耶
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喂？
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是的
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我的天哪
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霍默住院了 他们认为是心脏问题
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-我的天
-什么
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蜡纸减价五分钱耶
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让开
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再来
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感谢
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霍默 我吓坏了
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玛琦 我一生刚如跑马灯闪过
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小霍默
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他怎么拿到那个的
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跪下双膝
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聆听天使之声
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好美的天籁
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小霍默会让我成为百万富翁
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哦 夜圣
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嘿 我刚变声了
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哦 夜圣 当基督诞生
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可恶
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辛普森先生
你可能有轻微心脏病发
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但我现在脱离险境了吧
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我是说要不了我的命
就会让我更强健吧
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错 刚好相反
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让你弱得像小猫咪
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你看
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嘿 别这样啦
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拜托住手
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你挥拳无力像个姑娘 拜托
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拜托饶了我吧
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弄到鼻子了
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不好笑
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这只小蜜蜂如何
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记住你的希波克拉底誓言
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你不能为他做点什么吗
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我们修不好他的心脏
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但可以告诉你们他心脏坏得多严重
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我们活在好棒的年代
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现在看到的是我们打进去的
放射性染剂
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流过你先生的循环系统
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但医生 我还没注射染剂
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老天
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嗨
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霍默 这是最新体脂分析测试
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我会让你开始抖
测量抖多久才停下来
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你看看脂肪抖得啊
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是啊
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护士 取消一点钟预约
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霍默 恐怕你得接受…
冠状动脉绕道手术
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用白话文说 医生
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你需要做开心手术
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少跟我拽医学术语
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我们要切开你 修好你的心脏
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能不能再讲清楚一点
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医生 只要让我的霍默好起来
我们什么都愿意做
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很好 但我得警告在先
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这疗法最多会花到三万美金
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春田市综合医院
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现在要花到四万了哦
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好 我们需要四万块
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我们支票账户里有多少钱
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17美金
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我们还有任何四万美金支票
还没兑现的吗
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没有 你公司没医保吗
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我们把保费
都拿去买员工休息室的弹子机台了
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-不
-别担心 玛琦
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美国医保制度仅次于日本…
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加拿大 瑞典 大英帝…
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全欧洲
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但算你走运 我们没住在巴拉圭
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快乐寡妇保险公司
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00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:28,502
在我们给你保医疗险前
我得问你一些问题
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问题？
188
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我的阴谋快…你问好了
189
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很好
190
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在“心脏病发作”这栏
你勾了“三次”又写“零次”
191
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我以为那是在问脑出血啦
192
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你喝酒吗
193
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,813
圣诞节喜欢小酌一下
194
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:49,857
好 这是你的保单
195
00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:53,152
我跟你说 真好骗先生 我刚…
196
00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:55,321
等等 你还得签名才算数
197
00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:57,365
哦 我…
198
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:01,243
一定要签保单
199
00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:03,371
先生 抱歉 我们不能给你保
200
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:04,455
我写好“霍”了
201
00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:06,582
-不行 不算
-看起来像叉叉
202
00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:09,835
我们最好把你送医院
203
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:12,588
-送我月历好吗
-好的
204
00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:13,714
让开
205
00:11:15,132 --> 00:11:16,092
医生
206
00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:20,471
我去了个好棒的地方
那里满是火焰和硫璜
207
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,057
还有好多身穿红睡衣的人
208
00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:24,725
用草叉捅我屁屁
209
00:11:24,892 --> 00:11:27,895
辛普森先生 你必须尽快开刀
210
00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:29,271
我开不起
211
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,857
也许我该买台那种机器
212
00:11:33,442 --> 00:11:35,194
哦 耶 好舒服
213
00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:38,239
我知道我一直不是最佳基督徒
214
00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:40,866
其实你在台上…
215
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:42,368
我经常睡翻了
216
00:11:42,451 --> 00:11:44,704
或幻想把女教友脱光光
217
00:11:45,162 --> 00:11:47,748
总之 可以给我四万块吗
218
00:11:47,998 --> 00:11:48,874
勒芙乔牧师
219
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:51,168
我知道我一直不是最佳犹太人
220
00:11:51,627 --> 00:11:54,213
但我租了《屋顶上的提琴手》
我会看的
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总之 能给我四万块吗
222
00:11:57,591 --> 00:11:59,093
我知道我一直不是最佳…
223
00:12:00,594 --> 00:12:01,512
算了
224
00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:04,515
老公 运气如何
225
00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:06,517
不佳 但拉比送我这个
226
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:07,601
那是什么 爸
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00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,729
儿子 他们叫它“组多”
228
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看它转得
229
00:12:12,481 --> 00:12:13,899
嗨 大家好
230
00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:18,571
你在想办法大砍医疗费吗
231
00:12:18,779 --> 00:12:19,655
无聊
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00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:22,158
等等 这可能是我们的解答
233
00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:27,079
只要129.95 我什么手术都做
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00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:32,042
来开脑的 我还送中国指套
235
00:12:33,961 --> 00:12:35,045
够了 佛莱德
236
00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:38,090
你尽力了 再另寻他法
237
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:41,302
快打1-600-DOCTORB
238
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,554
来找平价庸医就对了
239
00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:46,932
玛琦 来个下下策吧
240
00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:47,933
怎么做
241
00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:50,853
有些狗会开刀的
242
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:53,314
开刀 你们在说什么
243
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:55,316
孩子们 有话跟你们说
244
00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:58,360
霍默 不好吧 他们会难过
245
00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:00,070
你们说什么 我们都不会难过的
246
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:01,614
我们是MTV世代
247
00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:03,532
情绪没什么高低起伏
248
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:04,742
真的？那是什么感觉
249
00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:08,162
你们大到可得知真相了
250
00:13:08,245 --> 00:13:09,872
我不会粉饰太平的
251
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,959
所以小小主动脉仙子
要带着腿静脉先生…
252
00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:18,088
长途跋涉去迎娶左心室公主
253
00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:19,548
爸 你是在跟我们说
254
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:22,134
你要动冠状动脉绕道手术吗
255
00:13:22,676 --> 00:13:23,552
对
256
00:13:23,677 --> 00:13:26,430
糟了 万一他们搞砸了呢
257
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,098
我就没爸爸…
258
00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:29,850
一阵子了
259
00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:35,815
孩子们…我不会死掉的
260
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:37,983
只有坏人才会死掉
261
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:39,401
那林肯总统呢
262
00:13:40,319 --> 00:13:42,071
他曾卖毒牛奶给学童
263
00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:43,364
-霍默
-嘿 我只是想
264
00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:44,490
让他们好过一点嘛
265
00:13:45,407 --> 00:13:47,076
床升起来 床降下去
266
00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:48,911
床升起来 床降下去
267
00:13:49,119 --> 00:13:50,871
床升起来 床降下去
268
00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:52,623
床升起来 床降下去
269
00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:53,791
霍默·辛普森？
270
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:57,294
我的天啊
271
00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,839
法兰德斯 你在这干嘛
272
00:14:00,047 --> 00:14:02,132
我来摘除一个肾和一片肺
273
00:14:02,299 --> 00:14:03,801
你要捐给谁
274
00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:06,220
先到先得吧 你来干嘛的
275
00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:07,805
我心脏不好
276
00:14:07,888 --> 00:14:10,307
若我能捐心给你 霍默 我会的
277
00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:11,475
闭嘴 法兰德斯
278
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:14,812
嗨 大家好
279
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:16,981
我是尼克·里维拉医生
280
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:20,818
里维拉医生 尼克·里维拉医生
请立刻向验尸官报到
281
00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:23,737
验尸官？我恨透那家伙了
282
00:14:24,071 --> 00:14:26,782
开刀的地方见了
283
00:14:27,074 --> 00:14:28,701
里维拉医生…
284
00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:29,785
大体在哪里
285
00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:31,579
美好的一天啊
286
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,330
我还是跳窗好了
287
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,924
亲爱的上帝 感谢你的《奇吉》漫画
288
00:14:44,466 --> 00:14:45,551
小鸭宝宝
289
00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:49,471
跟《老年健身操》录像带
第一 二 四集
290
00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:53,350
亲爱的上帝
291
00:14:53,642 --> 00:14:56,186
明天要开刀 我真的好怕
292
00:14:56,645 --> 00:14:59,398
要是有状况 请你保佑玛琦
293
00:14:59,648 --> 00:15:01,567
保佑我的孩子们好好长大
294
00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:05,195
请勿祷告
295
00:15:05,696 --> 00:15:06,614
抱歉
296
00:15:12,119 --> 00:15:14,914
所以上帝才会造成火车事故
297
00:15:16,790 --> 00:15:18,459
我爸病重
298
00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:20,419
他死后会怎样
299
00:15:20,794 --> 00:15:23,505
他是好人 就会上天堂
300
00:15:23,964 --> 00:15:27,885
你在天堂可做任何你最爱做的事
301
00:15:29,219 --> 00:15:31,138
云升起来 云降下去
302
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:33,307
云升起来 云降下去
303
00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:35,476
床升起来 床降下去
304
00:15:35,684 --> 00:15:36,685
嘿…
305
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:40,481
嘿 怎么回事
306
00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:42,650
哦 对了
307
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,318
我的怪模怪样
308
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,363
库斯提 你来干嘛
309
00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:49,406
这是我的公共服务之一
310
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:53,118
因为我…
311
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:55,996
好吧 我很需要笑一笑
312
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,832
你将经历的一切没什么好笑的
313
00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:01,877
我懂 因为我也是拉链俱乐部会员
314
00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:07,216
-你气色不错啊
-是吧
315
00:16:07,716 --> 00:16:10,886
跟你说一下 这可不是化妆
316
00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:16,225
人说最悲惨的是白发人送黑发人
317
00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:19,478
我从来都不懂原因何在
318
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:22,022
坦白说 我看得出有个好处
319
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,150
这是大家传着写的卡片
320
00:16:25,275 --> 00:16:26,276
早日康复 霍默
321
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:27,778
哇 谢了 兄弟们
322
00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:29,071
紧急作业程序 请勿撕除
323
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:30,864
他们找你的代班者找得好苦
324
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:35,369
我刚听说你要动手术时
325
00:16:35,619 --> 00:16:36,954
我好反对
326
00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:38,539
但后来我想到…
327
00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:41,875
若霍默想变成女人 就变吧
328
00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:44,211
巴尼 我没要变性
329
00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:45,379
什么
330
00:16:45,587 --> 00:16:49,883
这套特大号比基尼怎么办
331
00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:53,387
霍默 看着老交情份上
我偷偷夹带啤酒来给你了
332
00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:54,930
谢了 老莫
333
00:16:56,890 --> 00:16:58,726
霍默 啤酒是要钱的哦
334
00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:01,270
春田心脏学日志
335
00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:02,980
妈 这真好看
336
00:17:03,188 --> 00:17:06,358
你知道他们要让爸的心脏
停止跳动整整六分钟吗
337
00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:10,487
我不太赞成你看那么多心脏学的书耶
338
00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:13,949
放心 妈 我看了很安心
我还学到了好多呢
339
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:16,118
肉品店买来的牛心让我获益良多
340
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:20,205
医学图书馆
341
00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:21,165
插入牵引器
342
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:24,501
用力撑开肋骨
像撑开生锈吊桥那样
343
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:26,086
不要
344
00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:27,212
血啊
345
00:17:28,338 --> 00:17:30,799
接下来在冠状动脉切个切口
346
00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:35,054
欢迎继续观赏《好像什么的人》
347
00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:46,440
不…有人录这节目 盖掉最后一段了
348
00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:49,860
我们只希望能获得尊重
349
00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:51,695
像根新蜡烛那样吗
350
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:53,530
对 像根新…不对
351
00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:57,493
我的小玛吉
352
00:17:57,868 --> 00:17:59,703
我可能再也抱不到你了
353
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,164
臭尿片
354
00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:03,707
玛琦
355
00:18:03,832 --> 00:18:06,418
如果发生意外 你会孤单寂寞
356
00:18:06,710 --> 00:18:08,670
霍默 我绝不会再婚
357
00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:09,797
没错
358
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,257
为了保证这一点 我想被做成标本
放在沙发上
359
00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:14,802
让你永远记住我们的婚誓
360
00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:18,013
孩子们 你们可以进来了
361
00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:21,266
床升起来
362
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:24,770
孩子们 我要说些话
万一出了什么时
363
00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:26,063
你们可以怀念我
364
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:27,439
我想想
365
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:31,652
我不太会说
366
00:18:34,863 --> 00:18:38,909
巴特 这一切让我最难过的
是看不到你长大 因为…
367
00:18:41,036 --> 00:18:44,540
我知道不管老爸在不在
你都会杰出优秀
368
00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:45,707
谢了 爸
369
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,167
还有 莉萨…
370
00:18:51,338 --> 00:18:53,340
是时候该告诉你了
371
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,260
你是领养来的 我不喜欢你
372
00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:57,553
巴特
373
00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:01,515
但别担心
因为你有个好爱你的哥哥
374
00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:03,100
永远都会顾好你
375
00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:05,352
哦 爸
376
00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:11,108
嗨 大家好
377
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,651
嗨 尼克医生
378
00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:16,280
要是出什么错
379
00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:18,699
我们就别走法律途径了
380
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:21,201
一手洗另一手 大家狼狈为奸
381
00:19:22,202 --> 00:19:23,203
这提醒了我
382
00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:29,668
这双手套是马桶刷的赠品哦
383
00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:36,341
那是什么鬼
384
00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:43,307
玛琦 他叫安德烈
385
00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:44,474
你好
386
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:47,895
你们俩会是一对佳偶
387
00:19:48,103 --> 00:19:50,230
我老公还活着
388
00:19:50,689 --> 00:19:53,108
谢天谢地 希望他挺过来
389
00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:54,276
我不希望
390
00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:58,071
我们来默祷一分钟吧
391
00:19:58,322 --> 00:20:00,824
为我们的好朋友霍默·辛普森祈福
392
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:06,622
必须年满21岁
393
00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:07,915
过了多久了
394
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,082
六秒钟
395
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:10,667
要重新计时吗
396
00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:11,752
才不要
397
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,003
可怜的霍默先生
398
00:20:13,128 --> 00:20:14,004
猪皮干
399
00:20:14,171 --> 00:20:17,633
会是我的零嘴害他健康不佳吗
400
00:20:17,966 --> 00:20:18,884
来几包牛肉干
401
00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:20,260
要配几瓶伏特加吗
402
00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:21,386
管他 好啊
403
00:20:27,267 --> 00:20:28,685
医生 怎么了
404
00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:30,771
你不知道要切哪里吗
405
00:20:31,104 --> 00:20:33,190
好 尼克 不要慌
406
00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:35,359
回想医学院时光
407
00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:40,989
说真的 宝贝
我想开什么处方都可以哦
408
00:20:41,156 --> 00:20:42,157
西格玛志联谊会
409
00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:47,537
我知道应该要切下去
但要切什么 切哪里呢
410
00:20:48,872 --> 00:20:49,790
喂
411
00:20:50,123 --> 00:20:54,378
冠状动脉切口必须在堵塞处下方
412
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,213
下方
413
00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:58,173
谢了 小妹妹
414
00:20:58,966 --> 00:21:01,468
膝骨连结着…
415
00:21:01,843 --> 00:21:03,136
什么东西
416
00:21:03,303 --> 00:21:06,306
什么东西连结着红东西
417
00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:09,643
红东西连结着我的腕表
418
00:21:15,315 --> 00:21:16,233
好消息
419
00:21:16,566 --> 00:21:20,153
手术大成功
420
00:21:22,030 --> 00:21:24,199
太好了
421
00:21:28,078 --> 00:21:31,039
尼克·里维拉医生 记得我吗
422
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:34,543
这不是我的老友麦克瑞格先生吗
423
00:21:34,668 --> 00:21:37,754
手接成脚 脚接成手的怪人
424
00:21:42,175 --> 00:21:43,885
好耶 爸
425
00:21:44,052 --> 00:21:45,887
你称霸加护病房耶
426
00:22:52,537 --> 00:22:54,539
字幕翻译：侯敏生