1 00:00:03,586 --> 00:00:05,922 辛普森家庭 2 00:00:06,631 --> 00:00:07,549 (歡迎蒞臨春田核電廠) 3 00:00:11,302 --> 00:00:12,262 (春田小學) 4 00:00:15,306 --> 00:00:17,225 (小朋友不能喝咖啡) 5 00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:26,860 (注意安全) 6 00:00:26,943 --> 00:00:28,695 (《媽媽雜誌》、小丑庫斯提麥片) 7 00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:48,798 (營業中) 8 00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:05,106 不! 9 00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:23,541 《春田警界風雲錄》 10 00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:25,794 惡警… 11 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,630 惡警… 12 00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:31,091 惡警… 13 00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:34,260 惡警… 14 00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:38,223 春田惡警辦辦案 15 00:01:38,389 --> 00:01:41,059 我們錢賺那麼少,你們奢望什麼? 16 00:01:41,392 --> 00:01:43,937 不管在車上或馬上 17 00:01:44,312 --> 00:01:46,815 執法過當又怎樣 18 00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:48,525 惡警… 19 00:01:49,317 --> 00:01:50,193 《春田警界風雲錄》 20 00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:51,152 惡警… 21 00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:54,614 兄弟們,該逮捕偷牛賊了 22 00:01:57,242 --> 00:02:00,120 你們在搞什麼東東? 23 00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:02,705 這裡不是長青街742號嗎? 24 00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:04,666 隔壁才是 25 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,799 差一點,但沒甜甜圈了,警察 26 00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:14,843 我是熊爸 27 00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:17,554 發出全面通緝,男性犯嫌駕駛一台… 28 00:02:18,596 --> 00:02:20,098 車子之類的 29 00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:22,100 行駛方向為… 30 00:02:22,892 --> 00:02:24,602 賣辣醬那家店的方向 31 00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:27,272 犯㺌沒戴帽子,重覆,沒戴帽 32 00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:31,109 好期待他們把那沒戴帽的屁蛋 丟進牢裡去哦 33 00:02:31,901 --> 00:02:34,362 老公,你真不該在床上暴吃了 34 00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:35,363 (健怡可樂) 35 00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:36,865 對你的心臟不好 36 00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:38,241 我的心臟好得… 37 00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:41,619 小荷荷,怎麼了? 38 00:02:41,911 --> 00:02:44,080 只是努力想擠下那口火雞肉 39 00:02:46,082 --> 00:02:46,958 擠下去了 40 00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:53,548 花枝,昨晚發生嚴重火車事故 41 00:02:53,631 --> 00:02:55,425 -想看受害者慘狀嗎? -好啊 42 00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:58,595 霸子,好噁 43 00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:00,722 你對,埋進海裡去吧 44 00:03:02,056 --> 00:03:03,349 爸 45 00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:07,353 怎麼了? 46 00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:09,022 你們知道有種感覺像… 47 00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:12,400 千把火刀同時刺進你心臟那樣? 48 00:03:12,817 --> 00:03:14,903 像我現在這樣 49 00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:16,738 培根 50 00:03:17,822 --> 00:03:20,491 荷馬,我特地為你準備了特別驚喜 51 00:03:20,658 --> 00:03:22,660 只有一種可能 52 00:03:24,787 --> 00:03:26,956 最棒的肉肉在屁屁哦 53 00:03:28,666 --> 00:03:29,542 享用吧 54 00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:30,668 這是什麼鬼? 55 00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,503 好好吃健康燕麥 56 00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:35,840 燕麥,好美妙的好料 57 00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,218 裡面有隻蟲 58 00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:40,970 -並沒有 -相信我 59 00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:46,976 爸,那上面有隻蟲 60 00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:55,693 (埃德加愛倫坡誕生處) 61 00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:57,195 快啊… 62 00:03:58,613 --> 00:04:00,031 (注意,車寬) 63 00:04:05,286 --> 00:04:06,162 天哪 64 00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:08,873 看你幹得好事 65 00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:17,382 (加油站,服務區) 66 00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:20,343 我一直聽見不規律的可怕砰砰聲 67 00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:22,220 (加索) 68 00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:25,556 是你的心臟哦,它可能快不行了 69 00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:28,017 我還怕是變速箱有狀況呢 70 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,478 嘿,他要去哪? 71 00:04:30,561 --> 00:04:34,065 比利,記得我們老是修不好的 老普利茅斯嗎? 72 00:04:35,149 --> 00:04:37,151 要賣給尼卡波波洛斯先生那台? 73 00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,237 你好無趣,比利 74 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,155 (甜甜圈) 75 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:44,826 看那頭豬在為我賣命的上班時間 塞得滿嘴滿臉甜甜圈 76 00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:48,496 很好,繼續吃 77 00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:52,458 你渾然不知快吃到有毒甜甜圈 78 00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:56,254 裡面有個甜甜圈有毒吧,史密瑟斯? 79 00:04:57,213 --> 00:05:00,008 沒耶,我跟律師討論過 他們認為那是謀殺 80 00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,801 去他們的油屁屁 81 00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:06,431 把他帶來見我 82 00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:12,186 放輕鬆,辛普森 83 00:05:12,353 --> 00:05:14,939 我只是讓你來友善地說聲哈囉 84 00:05:17,942 --> 00:05:19,819 跟再見,你被炒了 85 00:05:20,611 --> 00:05:23,448 但等等,也許我太心急了 86 00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,325 你技術優越 87 00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:27,869 又愛鬼混 88 00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,413 不要擔心,荷馬 89 00:05:30,621 --> 00:05:32,790 你這種人是我很喜歡… 90 00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:35,376 活埋的人 91 00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:38,629 你的惰性無藥可救 92 00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:42,258 那表示你很渣 93 00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:53,394 伯恩斯先生,他好像死了 94 00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:55,271 天哪 95 00:05:55,938 --> 00:05:57,315 送條火腿去給他未亡人 96 00:05:58,941 --> 00:05:59,984 火腿 97 00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:03,696 不,等等,他還活著 98 00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:06,616 -很好,別送火腿了 -不 99 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,871 (小心野鹿飛越) 100 00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:13,164 哇,你看看 101 00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:15,208 他們怎知在那過馬路啊? 102 00:06:16,834 --> 00:06:17,835 (急診) 103 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,003 (急診室) (創傷室) 104 00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:20,296 (請勿吸菸) 105 00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:25,009 我跟你們說沒用的 106 00:06:26,844 --> 00:06:27,762 看吧 107 00:06:28,137 --> 00:06:30,223 他本來想大咬一口,下巴就脫臼了 108 00:06:30,431 --> 00:06:32,683 看好,可放進整個拳頭耶 109 00:06:33,142 --> 00:06:35,311 嘿… 110 00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:36,437 你說什麼,局長? 111 00:06:37,438 --> 00:06:38,940 惡警… 112 00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:42,026 惡警… 113 00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:47,240 布力斯特先生買三送一耶 114 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:48,282 喂? 115 00:06:48,699 --> 00:06:49,575 是的 116 00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:51,494 我的天哪 117 00:06:52,286 --> 00:06:54,831 荷馬被送醫,他們認為是心臟問題 118 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,334 -歐麥尬 -什麼? 119 00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:01,087 蠟紙折價五分錢耶 120 00:07:02,338 --> 00:07:03,464 離手 121 00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:08,219 再電 122 00:07:10,054 --> 00:07:10,972 感恩 123 00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:14,308 小荷荷,我嚇壞了 124 00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:17,270 美枝,我一生剛如跑馬燈閃過 125 00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,440 小荷馬 126 00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:25,111 他怎麼拿到那個的? 127 00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:31,367 跪下雙膝 128 00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:36,747 聆聽天使之聲 129 00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:37,999 好美的天籟 130 00:07:38,374 --> 00:07:41,335 小荷馬會讓我成為百萬富翁 131 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:46,507 哦,夜聖 132 00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:48,676 嘿,我剛變聲了 133 00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:53,389 哦,夜聖,當基督誕生 134 00:07:53,514 --> 00:07:54,599 可惡 135 00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:58,811 辛普森先生 你可能有輕微心臟病發 136 00:07:59,061 --> 00:08:00,855 但我現在脫離險境了吧 137 00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,816 我是說要不了我的命 就會讓我更強健吧 138 00:08:04,358 --> 00:08:05,610 錯,剛好相反 139 00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:07,612 讓你弱得像小貓咪 140 00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:09,614 你看 141 00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:11,824 嘿,別這樣啦… 142 00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:14,744 拜託住手… 143 00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:16,954 你揮拳無力像個姑娘,拜託 144 00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:18,831 拜託饒了我吧 145 00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:19,832 弄到鼻子了 146 00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:21,709 不好笑 147 00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:23,044 這隻小蜜蜂如何? 148 00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:28,424 記住你的希波克拉底誓言 149 00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:31,761 你不能為他做點什麼嗎? 150 00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:33,888 我們修不好他的心臟 151 00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:36,849 但可告訴你們他心臟壞得多嚴重 152 00:08:37,099 --> 00:08:38,809 我們活在好棒的年代 153 00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:42,980 現在看到的是我們打進去的 放射性染劑 154 00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:45,358 流穿你先生的循環系統 155 00:08:45,441 --> 00:08:47,944 但醫生,我還沒注射染劑 156 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:49,320 老天 157 00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:50,530 嗨 158 00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:53,533 荷馬,這是最新體脂分析測試 159 00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:56,994 我會讓你開始抖 測量抖多久才停下來 160 00:09:01,999 --> 00:09:04,293 你看看脂肪抖得咧 161 00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:05,586 是啊 162 00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:08,673 護士,取消一點鐘預約 163 00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:13,010 荷馬,恐怕你得接受… 冠狀動脈繞道手術 164 00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:14,637 用白話文說,醫生 165 00:09:14,845 --> 00:09:16,847 你需要做開心手術 166 00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:18,891 少跟我撂醫學術語哦 167 00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:22,103 我們要切開你,修好你的心臟 168 00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:23,646 能不能再講清楚一點? 169 00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:26,566 醫生,只要讓我的小荷荷好起來 我們什麼都願意做 170 00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:29,151 很好,但我得警告在先 171 00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:33,197 這療法最多會花到三萬塊 172 00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:36,951 (春田市綜合醫院) 173 00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:38,869 現在要花到四萬了哦 174 00:09:46,210 --> 00:09:48,004 好…我們需要四萬塊 175 00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:49,839 我們支票帳戶裡有多少錢? 176 00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:51,549 17塊錢 177 00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:55,803 我們還有任何四萬塊支票 還沒兌現的嗎? 178 00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:58,431 沒有,你公司沒健保嗎? 179 00:09:58,639 --> 00:10:01,726 我們把保費 都拿去買員工休息室的彈子機台了 180 00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:03,769 -不 -別擔心,美枝 181 00:10:04,061 --> 00:10:07,440 美國健保制度僅次於日本… 182 00:10:07,815 --> 00:10:10,443 加拿大,瑞典,大英帝… 183 00:10:10,651 --> 00:10:11,652 全歐洲 184 00:10:11,777 --> 00:10:15,114 但算你走運,我們沒住在巴拉奎 185 00:10:18,826 --> 00:10:22,872 (快樂寡婦保險公司) 186 00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:28,502 在我們給你保醫療險前 我得問你一些問題 187 00:10:28,669 --> 00:10:30,087 問題?… 188 00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:34,008 我的陰謀快…你問好了 189 00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:35,092 很好 190 00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:38,971 在“心臟病發作“這欄 你勾了“三次“,又寫“零次“ 191 00:10:39,847 --> 00:10:42,516 我以為那是在問腦出血啦 192 00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:45,436 你喝酒嗎? 193 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,813 聖誕節喜歡小酌一下 194 00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:49,857 好,這是你的要保單 195 00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:53,152 我跟你說,真好騙先生,我剛… 196 00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:55,321 等等,你還得簽名才算數 197 00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:57,365 哦,我… 198 00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:01,243 一定要簽要保單 199 00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:03,371 先生,抱歉,我們不能給你保 200 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:04,455 我寫好“荷“了 201 00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:06,582 -不行,不算 -看起來像叉叉 202 00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:09,835 我們最好把你送醫 203 00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:12,588 -送我月曆好嗎? -好的 204 00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:13,714 離手 205 00:11:15,132 --> 00:11:16,092 醫生 206 00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:20,471 我去了個好棒的地方 那裡滿是火焰和硫璜 207 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,057 還有好多身穿紅睡衣的人 208 00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:24,725 把草叉插我屁屁 209 00:11:24,892 --> 00:11:27,895 辛普森先生,你必須盡快開刀 210 00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:29,271 我開不起 211 00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,857 也許我該買台那種機器 212 00:11:33,442 --> 00:11:35,194 哦,耶,好舒服 213 00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:38,239 我知道我一直不是最佳基督徒 214 00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:40,866 其實你在台上… 215 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:42,368 我經常睡翻了 216 00:11:42,451 --> 00:11:44,704 或幻想把女教友脫光光 217 00:11:45,162 --> 00:11:47,748 總之,可給我四萬塊嗎? 218 00:11:47,998 --> 00:11:48,874 (蘭教牧師) 219 00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:51,168 我知道我一直不是最佳猶太人 220 00:11:51,627 --> 00:11:54,213 但我租了《屋頂上的提琴手》 我會看的 221 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:56,424 總之,能給我四萬塊嗎? 222 00:11:57,591 --> 00:11:59,093 我知道我一直不是最佳… 223 00:12:00,594 --> 00:12:01,512 算了 224 00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:04,515 老公,運氣如何? 225 00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:06,517 不佳,但拉比送我這個 226 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:07,601 那是什麼,爸? 227 00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,729 兒子,他們叫它“組多“ 228 00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:12,022 看它轉得 229 00:12:12,481 --> 00:12:13,899 嗨,大家好 230 00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:18,571 你在想辦法大砍醫療費嗎? 231 00:12:18,779 --> 00:12:19,655 無聊 232 00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:22,158 等等,這可能是我們的解答 233 00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:27,079 只要129.95,我什麼手術都做 234 00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:32,042 來開腦的,我還送中國指套 235 00:12:33,961 --> 00:12:35,045 夠了,佛萊德 236 00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:38,090 你盡力了,再另尋他法 237 00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:41,302 快打1-600-DOCTORB 238 00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,554 來找平價庸醫就對了 239 00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:46,932 美枝,來個下下策吧 240 00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:47,933 怎麼做? 241 00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:50,853 有些狗會開刀的 242 00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:53,314 開刀,你們在說什麼? 243 00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:55,316 孩子們,有話跟你們說 244 00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:58,360 小荷荷,不好吧,他們會難過 245 00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:00,070 你們說什麼,我們都不會難過的 246 00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:01,614 我們是MTV世代 247 00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:03,532 情緒沒什麼高低起伏 248 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:04,742 真假?那是什麼感覺? 249 00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:08,162 你們大到可得知真相了 250 00:13:08,245 --> 00:13:09,872 我不會粉飾太平的 251 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,959 所以小小主動脈仙子 要帶著腿靜脈先生… 252 00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:18,088 長途跋涉去迎娶左心室公主 253 00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:19,548 爸,你是在跟我們說 254 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:22,134 你要動冠狀動脈繞道手術嗎? 255 00:13:22,676 --> 00:13:23,552 對 256 00:13:23,677 --> 00:13:26,430 糟了,萬一他們搞砸了呢? 257 00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,098 我就沒爸爸… 258 00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:29,850 一陣子了 259 00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:35,815 孩子們…我沒要掛掉 260 00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:37,983 只要壞人才會掛掉 261 00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:39,401 那林肯總統呢? 262 00:13:40,319 --> 00:13:42,071 他曾賣毒牛奶給學童 263 00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:43,364 -荷馬 -嘿,我只是想… 264 00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:44,490 讓他們好過一點嘛 265 00:13:45,407 --> 00:13:47,076 床升起來,床降下去 266 00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:48,911 床升起來,床降下去 267 00:13:49,119 --> 00:13:50,871 床升起來,床降下去 268 00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:52,623 床升起來,床降下去 269 00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:53,791 荷馬辛普森? 270 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:57,294 真是乖乖隆的咚啊 271 00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,839 法蘭德斯,你在這幹嘛? 272 00:14:00,047 --> 00:14:02,132 我來摘除一個腎和一片肺的 273 00:14:02,299 --> 00:14:03,801 你要捐給誰? 274 00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:06,220 先到先贏囉,你來幹嘛的? 275 00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:07,805 我心臟不好 276 00:14:07,888 --> 00:14:10,307 若我能捐心給你,荷馬,我會的 277 00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:11,475 閉嘴,法蘭德斯 278 00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:14,812 嗨,大家好 279 00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:16,981 我是尼克里維拉醫生 280 00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:20,818 里維拉醫生,尼克里維拉醫生 請立刻向驗屍官報到 281 00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:23,737 驗屍官?我恨透那傢伙了 282 00:14:24,071 --> 00:14:26,782 開刀的地方見了 283 00:14:27,074 --> 00:14:28,701 里維拉醫生… 284 00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:29,785 大體在哪裡? 285 00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:31,579 美好的一天啊 286 00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,330 我還是跳窗好了 287 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,924 親愛的上帝,感謝你的《奇吉》漫畫 288 00:14:44,466 --> 00:14:45,551 小鴨寶寶 289 00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:49,471 跟《老年健身操》錄影帶 第一,二,四集 290 00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:53,350 親愛的上帝 291 00:14:53,642 --> 00:14:56,186 明天要開刀,我真的好怕 292 00:14:56,645 --> 00:14:59,398 要是有狀況,請你保佑美枝 293 00:14:59,648 --> 00:15:01,567 保佑我的孩子們好好長大 294 00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:05,195 (請勿禱告) 295 00:15:05,696 --> 00:15:06,614 抱歉 296 00:15:12,119 --> 00:15:14,914 所以上帝才會造成火車事故 297 00:15:16,790 --> 00:15:18,459 我爸病重 298 00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:20,419 他死後會怎樣? 299 00:15:20,794 --> 00:15:23,505 他是好人,就會上天堂 300 00:15:23,964 --> 00:15:27,885 你在天堂可做任何你最愛做的事 301 00:15:29,219 --> 00:15:31,138 雲升起來,雲降下去 302 00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:33,307 雲升起來,雲降下去 303 00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:35,476 床升起來,床降下去 304 00:15:35,684 --> 00:15:36,685 嘿… 305 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:40,481 嘿,怎麼回事? 306 00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:42,650 哦,對了 307 00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,318 我的怪模怪樣 308 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,363 庫斯提,你來幹嘛? 309 00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:49,406 這是我的公共服務之一 310 00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:53,118 因為我… 311 00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:55,996 好吧,我很需要笑一笑 312 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,832 你將經歷的一切沒什麼好笑的 313 00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:01,877 我懂,因為我也是拉鍊俱樂部會員 314 00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:07,216 -你氣色不錯啊 -是喔? 315 00:16:07,716 --> 00:16:10,886 跟你說一下,這可不是化妝 316 00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:16,225 人說最悲慘的是白髮人送黑髮人 317 00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:19,478 我從來都不懂原因何在 318 00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:22,022 坦白說,我看得出有個好處 319 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,150 這是大家傳著寫的卡片 320 00:16:25,275 --> 00:16:26,276 (早日康復,荷馬) 321 00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:27,778 哇,謝了,兄弟們 322 00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:29,071 (緊急作業程序,請勿撕除) 323 00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:30,864 他們找你的代班者找得好苦 324 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:35,369 我剛聽說你要動手術時 325 00:16:35,619 --> 00:16:36,954 我好反對 326 00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:38,539 但後來我想到… 327 00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:41,875 若荷馬想變成女人,就變吧 328 00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:44,211 巴尼,我沒要變性 329 00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:45,379 什麼? 330 00:16:45,587 --> 00:16:49,883 這套特大號比基尼怎麼辦? 331 00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:53,387 荷馬,看著老交情份上 我偷偷夾帶啤酒來給你了 332 00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:54,930 謝了,老莫 333 00:16:56,890 --> 00:16:58,726 荷馬,啤酒是要錢的哦 334 00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:01,270 (春田心臟學日誌) 335 00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:02,980 媽,這真好看 336 00:17:03,188 --> 00:17:06,358 你知道他們要讓爸的心臟 停止跳動整整六分鐘嗎? 337 00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:10,487 我不太贊成你看那麼多心臟學的書耶 338 00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:13,949 放心,媽,我看了很安心 我還學到了好多呢 339 00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:16,118 肉品店買來的牛心讓我獲益良多 340 00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:20,205 (醫學圖書館) 341 00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:21,165 插入牽引器 342 00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:24,501 用力撐開肋骨 像撐開生鏽吊橋那樣 343 00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:26,086 不要 344 00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:27,212 血啊 345 00:17:28,338 --> 00:17:30,799 接下來在冠狀動脈切個切口 346 00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:35,054 歡迎繼續觀賞《好像什麼的人》 347 00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:46,440 不…有人錄這節目,蓋掉最後一段了 348 00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:49,860 我們只希望能獲得尊重 349 00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:51,695 像根新蠟燭那樣嗎? 350 00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:53,530 對,像根新…不對 351 00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:57,493 我的小奶嘴 352 00:17:57,868 --> 00:17:59,703 我可能再也抱不到你了 353 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,164 臭尿片 354 00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:03,707 美枝 355 00:18:03,832 --> 00:18:06,418 如果發生意外,妳會孤單寂寞 356 00:18:06,710 --> 00:18:08,670 小荷荷,我絕不會再婚 357 00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:09,797 沒錯 358 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,257 為做確認,我想被做成標本 放在沙發上 359 00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:14,802 讓你永遠記住我們的婚誓 360 00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:18,013 孩子們,你們可以進來了 361 00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:21,266 床升起來 362 00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:24,770 孩子們,我要說些話 讓你們可懷念我的 363 00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:26,063 免得出什麼事 364 00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:27,439 我想想 365 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:31,652 我不太會說 366 00:18:34,863 --> 00:18:38,909 霸子,這一切讓我最難過的 是看不到你長大,因為… 367 00:18:41,036 --> 00:18:44,540 我知道不管老爸在不在 你都會傑出優秀 368 00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:45,707 謝了,爸 369 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,167 還有,花枝… 370 00:18:51,338 --> 00:18:53,340 是時候該告訴妳了 371 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,260 妳是領養來的,我不喜歡妳 372 00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:57,553 霸子 373 00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:01,515 但別擔心 因為妳有個好愛妳的哥哥 374 00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:03,100 永遠都會顧好妳 375 00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:05,352 哦,爸 376 00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:11,108 嗨,大家好 377 00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,651 嗨,尼克醫生 378 00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:16,280 要是出什麼錯 379 00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:18,699 我們就別走法律途徑了 380 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:21,201 一手洗另一手,大家狼狽為奸 381 00:19:22,202 --> 00:19:23,203 這提醒了我 382 00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:29,668 這雙手套是馬桶刷的贈品哦 383 00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:36,341 那是什麼鬼? 384 00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:43,307 美枝,他叫安德烈 385 00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:44,474 哈囉 386 00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:47,895 你們倆會是一對佳偶 387 00:19:48,103 --> 00:19:50,230 我老公還活著 388 00:19:50,689 --> 00:19:53,108 謝天謝地,希望他挺過來 389 00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:54,276 我不希望 390 00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:58,071 我們來默禱一分鐘吧 391 00:19:58,322 --> 00:20:00,824 為我們的好朋友荷馬辛普森祈福 392 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:06,622 (必須年滿21歲) 393 00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:07,915 過了多久了? 394 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,082 六秒鐘 395 00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:10,667 要重新計時嗎? 396 00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:11,752 才不要 397 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,003 可憐的荷馬先生 398 00:20:13,128 --> 00:20:14,004 (豬皮乾) 399 00:20:14,171 --> 00:20:17,633 會是我的零嘴害他健康不佳嗎? 400 00:20:17,966 --> 00:20:18,884 來幾包牛肉乾 401 00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:20,260 要配幾瓶伏特加嗎? 402 00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:21,386 管他,好啊 403 00:20:27,267 --> 00:20:28,685 醫生,怎麼了? 404 00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:30,771 你不知道要切哪裡嗎? 405 00:20:31,104 --> 00:20:33,190 好,尼克,不要慌 406 00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:35,359 回想醫學院時光 407 00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:40,989 說真的,寶貝 我想開什麼處方都可以哦 408 00:20:41,156 --> 00:20:42,115 (西格瑪志聯誼會) 409 00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:47,537 我知道應該要切下去 但要切什麼,切哪裡呢? 410 00:20:48,872 --> 00:20:49,790 喂 411 00:20:50,123 --> 00:20:54,378 冠狀動脈切口必須在堵塞處下方 412 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,213 下方 413 00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:58,173 謝了,小妹妹 414 00:20:58,966 --> 00:21:01,468 膝骨連結著… 415 00:21:01,843 --> 00:21:03,136 什麼東東 416 00:21:03,303 --> 00:21:06,306 什麼東東連結著紅東東 417 00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:09,643 紅東東連結著我的腕錶 418 00:21:15,315 --> 00:21:16,233 好消息 419 00:21:16,566 --> 00:21:20,153 手術大成功 420 00:21:22,030 --> 00:21:24,199 太好了 421 00:21:28,078 --> 00:21:31,039 尼克里維拉醫生,記得我嗎? 422 00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:34,543 這不是我的老友麥克瑞格先生嗎? 423 00:21:34,668 --> 00:21:37,754 手接成腳,腳接成手的怪人 424 00:21:42,175 --> 00:21:43,885 好耶,爸 425 00:21:44,052 --> 00:21:45,887 你稱霸加護病房耶