1 00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:05,922 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:11,011 (bell rings) 3 00:00:12,554 --> 00:00:14,472 (work whistle blows) 4 00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:19,894 -(sucking) -(register beeping) 5 00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:32,532 (jazzy solo) 6 00:00:32,615 --> 00:00:33,742 (tires screech) 7 00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:36,995 D'oh! 8 00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:39,414 -Aah! -(tires screech) 9 00:00:57,515 --> 00:00:58,767 Eye of the tiger, Bart! 10 00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:01,352 Eye of the-- Ooh! 11 00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:04,481 I stopped it. 12 00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:08,318 And I hurt somebody. Ha-ha! 13 00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:10,987 Boys, it wasn't easy choosing only one of you 14 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:14,532 for the free week at Pele soccer and acting camp. 15 00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:17,327 Let's all congratulate... Nelson. 16 00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:19,454 (scattered applause) 17 00:01:19,537 --> 00:01:21,206 Thanks, Dad. 18 00:01:21,289 --> 00:01:22,874 Told ya! 19 00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:27,295 Come on, Bart. 20 00:01:27,378 --> 00:01:29,339 We're going to go sneak into an R-rated movie. 21 00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:31,382 It's called "Barton Fink." 22 00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:34,719 I can't. I told my dad I'd wait for him. 23 00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:36,513 TOGETHER: "Barton Fink!" 24 00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:40,683 "Barton Fink!" "Barton Fink!" 25 00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:43,019 (wind blowing) 26 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,813 Homer, we're going to my sister's. 27 00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:46,689 Remember, pick up Bart. 28 00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:49,192 I'm on my way. 29 00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:51,569 (studio audience applause) 30 00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:54,405 (chuckling) What did you say, Marge? 31 00:01:56,324 --> 00:01:57,992 (moans) 32 00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:00,954 That could be Dad. 33 00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:03,832 Station wagon, luggage rack... 34 00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:06,501 ♪ I am woman, hear me roar ♪ 35 00:02:06,584 --> 00:02:09,087 ♪ In numbers too big to ignore ♪ 36 00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:13,383 ♪ And I know too much to go back to pretend ♪ 37 00:02:18,596 --> 00:02:19,597 (thunder crashes) 38 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:26,646 (grunts) 39 00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:32,110 Dad, where are you? 40 00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:35,405 Tonight on "Wings"-- 41 00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:37,282 Ah, who cares? 42 00:02:37,365 --> 00:02:40,368 (shivers) 43 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,956 This isn't funny! 44 00:02:46,749 --> 00:02:49,460 Homer Simpson. Homer Simpson. 45 00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:52,755 Pick up Bart. Pick up Bart. 46 00:02:55,758 --> 00:03:00,430 Trab pu kcip. Trab pu kcip. 47 00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:03,016 What have we told you about writing on the walls? 48 00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:04,851 Go to your room! 49 00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:13,151 ANNOUNCER: After 16 glorious seasons, 50 00:03:13,234 --> 00:03:14,694 the Green Bay faithful 51 00:03:14,777 --> 00:03:18,323 bid farewell to Bryan Bartlett starr. 52 00:03:18,406 --> 00:03:21,242 Hmm. I keep thinking I'm forgetting something. 53 00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:24,746 CROWD (chanting): Bart! Bart! Bart! Bart! Bart! Bart! 54 00:03:24,829 --> 00:03:26,289 (barking) Bart! Bart! 55 00:03:26,372 --> 00:03:27,665 Bart! Bart! Bart! Bart! 56 00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:28,666 Bart! 57 00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:30,001 (belching) Bart! 58 00:03:30,084 --> 00:03:33,004 I can't think with all this noise. 59 00:03:33,087 --> 00:03:34,589 What am I supposed to do? 60 00:03:34,672 --> 00:03:36,007 (voice) Pick up Bart. 61 00:03:36,090 --> 00:03:37,175 Pick up Bart. 62 00:03:37,258 --> 00:03:38,218 Pick a bar? 63 00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:41,804 What the hell is "Pick a bar"? 64 00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:44,515 (snoring) 65 00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:51,981 Bart! Bart! 66 00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:52,982 (gasping) 67 00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:56,694 Why?! 68 00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:58,446 How?! 69 00:03:58,529 --> 00:04:01,157 When?! 70 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,408 Which?! 71 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,577 Bart! 72 00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:09,123 Dad, hide your shame! 73 00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:11,251 NED: Hey, Homey, I can see your doodle. 74 00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:12,877 HOMER: Shut up, Flanders. 75 00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:20,218 Hey, boy. How was soccer practice? 76 00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:28,685 Hey, Bart. 77 00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:30,186 Son? 78 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:33,064 Here's my way of saying I'm sorry. 79 00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:38,403 Eew! 80 00:04:38,486 --> 00:04:40,405 I know you're mad at me right now, 81 00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:42,573 and I'm kind of mad too. 82 00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:44,200 I mean, we could sit here 83 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:46,536 and try to figure out who forgot to pick up who 84 00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,162 till the cows come home, 85 00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:50,164 but let's just say we're both wrong 86 00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:51,457 and that'll be that. 87 00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:58,589 Now, how about a hug? 88 00:04:58,673 --> 00:04:59,924 KRUSTY: Hello, New York. 89 00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:01,592 (applause) 90 00:05:01,676 --> 00:05:04,262 When Lorne asked me to host this show, 91 00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:06,806 I said, "Lorne, why me?" 92 00:05:06,889 --> 00:05:08,349 (chuckling) 93 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:11,227 I mean, I did just star in my first movie 94 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:14,022 with Marvin Hagler and Tova Borgnine. 95 00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:17,775 Yeah! 96 00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:21,904 (quiet coughing) 97 00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:25,033 Anyway, we got a great show for you. 98 00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:27,493 Well, actually, the last half hour 99 00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:30,163 is a real garbage dump. 100 00:05:30,246 --> 00:05:31,706 We'll be right back. 101 00:05:31,789 --> 00:05:33,958 (playing rock 'n' roll) 102 00:05:38,212 --> 00:05:40,882 I miss Joe Piscopo. 103 00:05:40,965 --> 00:05:42,008 MAN: Lost your dad? 104 00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:43,217 Uh-huh. 105 00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:44,886 He's not coming back, is he? 106 00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:45,887 He might. 107 00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:47,597 No, he's not, 108 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:48,931 but at Bigger Brothers, we can help. 109 00:05:53,895 --> 00:05:55,897 Hello, Bigger Brothers? 110 00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:57,357 My name is Bart Simpson, 111 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,276 and I don't have a father. 112 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,196 And now it's time for another episode 113 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,907 of "The Big Ear Family." 114 00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:08,117 Honey, I'm home! 115 00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:09,786 Oh, I got wax in my ears. 116 00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:11,496 Better clean 'em. 117 00:06:11,579 --> 00:06:14,832 Huh? Huh? 118 00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,417 (coughing) 119 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:19,420 Oh, this goes on for 12 more minutes. 120 00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:24,675 So the last time you saw your father 121 00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:26,344 was six years ago? 122 00:06:26,427 --> 00:06:29,430 Yeah. He left me out on the curb for the ashman. 123 00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:31,557 What a revoltin' development. 124 00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:33,434 You brave little soldier. 125 00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:37,563 I've been saving someone special 126 00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:39,857 for a case like yours. 127 00:06:41,609 --> 00:06:42,944 (all gasp) 128 00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:48,241 Bart Simpson? 129 00:06:48,324 --> 00:06:49,492 Yo. 130 00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:53,079 I'm Tom. Let's ride. 131 00:06:53,162 --> 00:06:54,622 Whoa. 132 00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:59,252 Bart's dad has really pulled himself together. 133 00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:01,129 Bart's not mad at me. 134 00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:03,089 He called you a bad father. 135 00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:06,717 Marge, when kids these days say bad, they mean good, 136 00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:09,679 and to shake your booty means to wiggle one's butt. 137 00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:11,222 Permit me to demonstrate. 138 00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:13,850 No. I just think you should talk to Bart about-- 139 00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:15,351 Good lord! 140 00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:21,774 Homer, do you have an explanation for this bill? 141 00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:23,943 Oh, it's that record club. 142 00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:25,403 The first nine were only a penny. 143 00:07:25,486 --> 00:07:27,822 Then they jacked up the price. 144 00:07:27,905 --> 00:07:30,241 (sobbing) 145 00:07:30,324 --> 00:07:31,951 It's not fair. 146 00:07:32,034 --> 00:07:34,162 It's not fair, I tells you. 147 00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:36,456 No, no. Someone made 148 00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:39,459 $300 worth of phone calls to something called 149 00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:41,252 "The Corey Hotline." 150 00:07:41,335 --> 00:07:42,628 Wasn't me. 151 00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:43,504 (gasps) 152 00:07:45,214 --> 00:07:47,049 Lisa! 153 00:07:50,678 --> 00:07:52,847 Why didn't you ask our permission, Lisa? 154 00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:54,098 I did. 155 00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:56,767 -Dad, can I-- -Yeah, yeah, yeah. 156 00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:59,604 Aw, honey, I know what you're going through. 157 00:07:59,687 --> 00:08:03,274 When I was a girl, I had a crush on Bobby Sherman. 158 00:08:03,357 --> 00:08:05,443 (laughing) 159 00:08:09,113 --> 00:08:10,448 The point is, 160 00:08:10,531 --> 00:08:11,991 I want you to stop making these calls. 161 00:08:12,074 --> 00:08:13,534 All right, Mom. 162 00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:16,829 I promise you will never be billed for another call. 163 00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:19,290 (giggling) 164 00:08:19,373 --> 00:08:21,167 Bobby Sherman? 165 00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:23,085 (groans) 166 00:08:30,968 --> 00:08:32,261 ALL: Charge! 167 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,096 Your dad ever take you to baseball games? 168 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:36,057 Nah. His game was blackjack. 169 00:08:36,140 --> 00:08:39,894 He bet our life savings on a single hand. 170 00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:41,938 -Nineteen. -Hit me. 171 00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:43,147 -Twenty. -Hit me. 172 00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:44,565 -Twenty-one. -Hit me. 173 00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:45,816 -Twenty-two. -D'oh! 174 00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:47,902 If I ever meet your dad... 175 00:08:47,985 --> 00:08:50,071 ANNOUNCER: The start of the game will be delayed 176 00:08:50,154 --> 00:08:53,032 so we can introduce the recruiter 177 00:08:53,115 --> 00:08:56,077 for the Springfield Communist Party. 178 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:57,620 (crowd booing) 179 00:08:59,997 --> 00:09:01,999 Well, this is better than dart day. 180 00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:04,126 Now, you just let those ear drops sit 181 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:05,878 for about 20 minutes. 182 00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:08,631 If you get bored, here's a MASH coloring book. 183 00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:10,591 Here's a good one. 184 00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:13,511 "Hawkeye's antics irritate the other surgeons." 185 00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:15,263 (chuckling) 186 00:09:23,437 --> 00:09:25,106 Hi, you've reached the Corey Hotline. 187 00:09:25,189 --> 00:09:26,899 $4.95 a minute. 188 00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:29,652 Here are some words that rhyme with Corey: 189 00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:32,405 Glory, story... 190 00:09:32,488 --> 00:09:36,325 -(sighs) -... allegory, Montessori... 191 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:39,662 (grunting) 192 00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:44,625 Okay, Bart, tomorrow we'll blast your quads. 193 00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:48,296 This meatball soup is delicious, Stimpy. 194 00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:50,131 That's not meatball soup. 195 00:09:50,214 --> 00:09:53,217 That's my collection of furballs in stomach acid. 196 00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:55,761 (siren screeching) 197 00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:57,722 You idiot! 198 00:09:57,805 --> 00:09:59,724 You're trying to kill me, man! 199 00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:09,191 Someday I want to be an F-14 pilot, 200 00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:10,943 like my hero, Tom. 201 00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:14,655 He lent me this new weapon called a neural disrupter. 202 00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:17,491 (choking and sputtering) 203 00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:19,160 (kids applauding) 204 00:10:19,243 --> 00:10:20,953 He's not dead, is he, Bart? 205 00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:23,372 Nah, but I wouldn't give him any homework for a while. 206 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:24,624 Very good, Bart. 207 00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:26,250 -Thank you. -Oh, don't thank me. 208 00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:28,252 Thank an unprecedented eight-year military buildup. 209 00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:31,339 Mmm. Milhouse, you're next. 210 00:10:31,422 --> 00:10:33,591 Uh, I have a horsey. 211 00:10:33,674 --> 00:10:36,177 (feeble neighing imitation) 212 00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:39,263 Wuss! 213 00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:42,892 Lisa, I'm glad you came. 214 00:10:42,975 --> 00:10:46,562 I know you young'uns think we old-timers aren't any fun, 215 00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,689 but we'll show them. 216 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,524 We'll show them all! 217 00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:52,360 (laughing) 218 00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:54,528 (snoring) 219 00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:55,696 (gasps) 220 00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:58,616 Hi, this is Corey. 221 00:10:58,699 --> 00:11:01,077 I hope you and I can get married someday. 222 00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:03,871 Hey, boy, where you going? 223 00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:05,456 Father-son picnic. 224 00:11:05,539 --> 00:11:07,458 Have a good time. 225 00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:09,794 Hey, wait a minute. 226 00:11:09,877 --> 00:11:12,254 Lisa, I know I can trust you 227 00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:14,048 to inventory this glee club peanut brittle. 228 00:11:14,131 --> 00:11:15,549 Yes, Principal Skinner. 229 00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:18,719 Now, I've got to slash 40% out of the budget. 230 00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:21,847 So long... doo-doo-doo- doo-doo-doo... 231 00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,641 Science. 232 00:11:23,724 --> 00:11:25,559 Ah, music and art. 233 00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:26,936 (phone dialing) 234 00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:28,437 What in blazes? 235 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,398 (beeping and ringing) 236 00:11:30,481 --> 00:11:31,482 Good lord. 237 00:11:31,565 --> 00:11:33,192 That's a 900 number. 238 00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:36,320 COREY: Let's see what's in the newspaper today. 239 00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:37,988 -(paper rustling) -Hmm... 240 00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:40,825 "Canada stalls on trade pact." 241 00:11:40,908 --> 00:11:42,326 (phone disconnects) 242 00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:43,536 (gasps) 243 00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:51,544 Hey, look at that forest fire down there. 244 00:11:51,627 --> 00:11:54,046 -Yeah, great. -What's the matter? 245 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:57,216 Well, I've been thinking. You've been really great to me, 246 00:11:57,299 --> 00:11:59,093 but there's probably some other kid 247 00:11:59,176 --> 00:12:00,553 who needs you even more. 248 00:12:00,636 --> 00:12:02,221 Bart, I could kiss you, 249 00:12:02,304 --> 00:12:04,265 if the bigger brothers hadn't made me sign a form 250 00:12:04,348 --> 00:12:06,142 promising I wouldn't. 251 00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:07,393 No one needs me more 252 00:12:07,476 --> 00:12:09,603 than a child with your tragic upbringing. 253 00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:12,231 Now, let's set down at that frogurt stand. 254 00:12:19,822 --> 00:12:21,741 So, that's it. 255 00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:26,370 Hello, son. 256 00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:27,997 Where have you been? 257 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,165 Playing with Milhouse. 258 00:12:29,248 --> 00:12:30,416 No, you haven't. 259 00:12:30,499 --> 00:12:31,917 You've been out gallivanting around 260 00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:33,711 with that floozy of a bigger brother of yours, 261 00:12:33,794 --> 00:12:35,838 haven't you? Haven't you? 262 00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:37,465 Look at me. 263 00:12:37,548 --> 00:12:39,300 Dad, it just kind of happened. 264 00:12:39,383 --> 00:12:40,634 You're taking this too hard. 265 00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:42,303 How would you like me to take it? 266 00:12:42,386 --> 00:12:44,305 "Go ahead, Bart. Have your fun. 267 00:12:44,388 --> 00:12:46,056 I'll be waiting for you." 268 00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:48,476 I'm sorry, I can't do it. 269 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:50,311 Well, what are you going to do? 270 00:12:52,563 --> 00:12:55,441 Oh, you'll see. 271 00:12:55,524 --> 00:12:58,569 And what are your reasons for wanting a little brother? 272 00:12:58,652 --> 00:13:00,863 (thinking) Don't say revenge, don't say revenge. 273 00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:02,865 Uh... revenge? 274 00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:05,075 (thinking) That's it. I'm getting out of here. 275 00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:06,869 (running footsteps and door slamming) 276 00:13:08,579 --> 00:13:10,664 Welcome aboard, Mr. Simpson. 277 00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:16,128 Any of these boys would be thrilled 278 00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:17,838 to have a bigger brother like you. 279 00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:21,759 Ugly, wiener, crater-face. 280 00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:23,969 Sooey! Sooey! 281 00:13:25,387 --> 00:13:27,765 Eh, maybe this was a mistake. 282 00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:30,893 Do you have a bigger brother for me yet? 283 00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:34,396 Okay, I'll be back in an hour. 284 00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:45,157 (crying) 285 00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:46,784 I'll take him. 286 00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:48,369 Do you have him in blond? 287 00:13:48,452 --> 00:13:53,123 Lisa, the only way you'll lick this is one day at a time. 288 00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:56,794 If you can make it to midnight without calling the Corey line, 289 00:13:56,877 --> 00:13:58,921 you'll know you've beaten it forever. 290 00:13:59,004 --> 00:14:00,089 LISA: Midnight? 291 00:14:00,172 --> 00:14:02,049 Listen to your mother, Lisa. 292 00:14:02,132 --> 00:14:05,511 I owe everything I have to my mother's watchful eye 293 00:14:05,594 --> 00:14:07,638 and swift hand. 294 00:14:08,889 --> 00:14:11,058 Oh, there's mother now... 295 00:14:11,141 --> 00:14:13,143 -(crow cawing) -...watching me. 296 00:14:13,227 --> 00:14:15,354 What's that, mother? 297 00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:16,814 They have a right to be here. 298 00:14:16,897 --> 00:14:20,192 It's school business. I-- 299 00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:22,695 Mother, that sailor suit doesn't fit anymore. 300 00:14:22,778 --> 00:14:23,821 I think we should go. 301 00:14:23,904 --> 00:14:25,155 Uh-huh. 302 00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:27,199 -(siren wailing) -(distant gunshots) 303 00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:30,160 (snoring) 304 00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:33,163 Heh heh heh. Just like Oscar the Grouch. 305 00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:40,588 -Pepe! -Papa Homer! 306 00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:44,008 Son, your life is going to get better starting now. 307 00:14:44,091 --> 00:14:45,467 (clunk) Oh! 308 00:14:46,635 --> 00:14:48,846 Your son Bart sounds very bad. 309 00:14:48,929 --> 00:14:50,514 Oh, he is. 310 00:14:50,598 --> 00:14:54,351 Son, I just want you to know I love you very much. 311 00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:55,644 Shut up! 312 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:58,480 Mmm, grapefruit. 313 00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:04,987 I just press this button and the door opens like magic. 314 00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:09,700 Why does it stop there? 315 00:15:09,783 --> 00:15:12,161 Because it's a stupid piece of junk! 316 00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:15,789 Bart! Bart! Aah! 317 00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:17,708 Well, I'd better get you home. 318 00:15:17,791 --> 00:15:19,084 What's the matter? 319 00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:22,087 I've spent every night of my life in the city. 320 00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:24,381 I have never seen the stars. 321 00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:26,258 PEPE: Tell me more. 322 00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:29,178 I want to know all the constellations. 323 00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:31,430 Well, there's... 324 00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:33,432 Jerry the Cowboy. 325 00:15:33,515 --> 00:15:36,060 And that big dipper-looking thing 326 00:15:36,143 --> 00:15:39,021 is Alan... the Cowboy. 327 00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:42,107 Oh, Papa Homer, you are so learn-ed. 328 00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:44,777 (chuckles) Learned, son. 329 00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:46,820 It's pronounced "Learned." 330 00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:48,864 I love you, Papa Homer. 331 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,658 I love you too, Pepsi. 332 00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:52,159 -Pepe. -Pepe. 333 00:15:52,242 --> 00:15:53,994 (thinking) Got to make it till midnight. 334 00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:56,246 Got to make it till midnight. 335 00:15:56,330 --> 00:16:00,084 (ringing) 336 00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:01,752 (ticking) 337 00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:03,671 (knitting needles clicking) 338 00:16:07,883 --> 00:16:10,302 (ticking, clicking and ringing grow louder) 339 00:16:18,727 --> 00:16:20,771 (ticking, clicking and ringing grow louder) 340 00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:29,446 Must you be forever dialing that phone?! 341 00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:35,661 Excuse me. 342 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,415 Oh, come on. 343 00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:40,958 Hurry. 344 00:16:43,919 --> 00:16:44,962 Lisa? 345 00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:53,887 Oh, Lisa. 346 00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:56,598 You tried your best. 347 00:16:56,682 --> 00:17:01,145 At the tone, the time will be 12:00 midnight. 348 00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:02,104 (tone) 349 00:17:03,313 --> 00:17:04,440 I made it. 350 00:17:08,318 --> 00:17:10,612 ♪ ...and Scratchy show ♪ 351 00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:24,126 (screams) 352 00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:42,436 Hey, Homer, have you seen my skateboard? 353 00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:44,188 I gave it to Pepe. 354 00:17:44,271 --> 00:17:45,689 Who the hell is Pepe? 355 00:17:45,773 --> 00:17:47,441 He's my little brother. 356 00:17:47,524 --> 00:17:49,359 That's right. You're not the only one 357 00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:51,528 who can abuse a nonprofit organization. 358 00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:55,032 Who needs you? Tom's a better father than you ever were. 359 00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:57,618 Come on, Bart, we had our fun. 360 00:17:57,701 --> 00:17:59,828 Remember when I used to push you on the swing? 361 00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:01,538 I was faking it. 362 00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:02,790 (gasps) Liar! 363 00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:04,208 Oh, yeah? Remember this? 364 00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:05,918 Higher, Dad, higher. 365 00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:07,461 -Whee! -Hey! 366 00:18:07,544 --> 00:18:09,088 -Stop that! -Push harder Dad, c'mon. 367 00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:10,172 -Higher, higher, faster! -Stop it! 368 00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:12,925 Stop it! Stop it! 369 00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:23,894 You know, the whale is not really a fish. 370 00:18:23,977 --> 00:18:26,063 They're mammals, like you and me. 371 00:18:26,146 --> 00:18:27,272 Is that true? 372 00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:28,524 Pfft. No. 373 00:18:28,607 --> 00:18:29,775 (dolphin squealing) 374 00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:34,655 Whoo! Heh heh heh! 375 00:18:34,738 --> 00:18:35,823 Come and get it. 376 00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:38,408 Whoo! Heh heh heh! 377 00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:40,035 Come and get it. 378 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,036 Whoo! Heh heh heh! 379 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,746 Stupid dolphin. 380 00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:44,665 Hey! Hey! 381 00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:47,417 (dolphin squealing) 382 00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:49,044 HOMER: He got my hot dog! 383 00:18:50,087 --> 00:18:51,213 (Homer grunting) 384 00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:52,965 Uh-oh, better not let him see me. 385 00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:57,344 What the-- 386 00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:01,014 Oh, it's you. 387 00:19:02,349 --> 00:19:03,809 So... 388 00:19:03,892 --> 00:19:05,227 you're looking well. 389 00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:06,520 Come on, Bart, 390 00:19:06,603 --> 00:19:08,188 you know better than to talk to strangers. 391 00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:11,692 For your information, I'm his father. 392 00:19:11,775 --> 00:19:13,277 His father? 393 00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:14,862 The drunken gambler? 394 00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:16,864 That's right, and who might you be? 395 00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:23,829 Hi-yah! 396 00:19:23,912 --> 00:19:24,663 (karate yells) 397 00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:27,958 (karate yells) 398 00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:31,003 There you go, fellas. 399 00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:31,962 D'oh! 400 00:19:33,630 --> 00:19:36,133 Look, there's another disadvantaged boy. 401 00:19:36,216 --> 00:19:36,967 Where? 402 00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:39,845 Grr. 403 00:19:39,928 --> 00:19:42,681 There's a couple of guys fighting at the aquarium, chief. 404 00:19:42,764 --> 00:19:44,433 Do they still sell those frozen bananas? 405 00:19:44,516 --> 00:19:46,727 -I think so. -Let's roll. 406 00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:48,604 This just in. 407 00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:51,273 A fistfight is in progress in downtown Springfield. 408 00:19:51,356 --> 00:19:54,193 Early reports indicate, and these are very preliminary, 409 00:19:54,276 --> 00:19:57,905 that one of the fighters is a giant lizard. 410 00:19:57,988 --> 00:20:00,282 Do we have a source on this? 411 00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:02,367 Uh-huh. A bunch of drunken frat boys. 412 00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:04,203 All right, I could use some names. 413 00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:07,748 I.P. Freely. L-- Oh! 414 00:20:07,831 --> 00:20:08,916 (punch landing) 415 00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:16,506 (grunting wildly) 416 00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:18,800 (glass shattering) 417 00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:20,969 (Homer grunting, glass shattering) 418 00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:22,179 Uh, Homer? 419 00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:26,099 Oh, right. 420 00:20:30,395 --> 00:20:32,898 (echoed screaming) 421 00:20:37,277 --> 00:20:38,695 (screaming grows louder) 422 00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:48,413 (crack) 423 00:20:48,497 --> 00:20:51,500 This is even more painful than it looks. 424 00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:53,252 This is all my fault, Dad. 425 00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:55,128 I didn't want you to get hurt. 426 00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,132 Now I need to find another little brother. 427 00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:01,927 And I need to find another big brother. 428 00:21:02,010 --> 00:21:04,346 My car's going to feel so empty on the ride home. 429 00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:07,724 And me, I have no ride at all. 430 00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:10,269 I already bought a giant ham for dinner. 431 00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:11,687 It's gonna go to waste. 432 00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:14,940 Don't talk about food. I'm so hungry. 433 00:21:15,023 --> 00:21:16,733 -Well, good-bye. -Well, good-bye. 434 00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:19,069 Wait, I've got an idea. 435 00:21:19,152 --> 00:21:20,654 -An idea? -Huh? 436 00:21:35,252 --> 00:21:37,004 BART: Another beer, Dad? 437 00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:39,006 Thanks, son. 438 00:21:39,089 --> 00:21:41,383 Dad, remember when Tom had you in that headlock, 439 00:21:41,466 --> 00:21:43,552 and you screamed, "I'm a hemophiliac"? 440 00:21:43,635 --> 00:21:45,971 And when he let you go, you kicked him in the back? 441 00:21:46,054 --> 00:21:47,597 (chuckles) Yeah. 442 00:21:47,681 --> 00:21:49,433 Will you teach me how to do that. 443 00:21:49,516 --> 00:21:51,268 Sure, boy. 444 00:21:51,351 --> 00:21:53,895 First, you've got to shriek like a woman 445 00:21:53,979 --> 00:21:57,065 and keep sobbing till he turns away in disgust. 446 00:21:57,149 --> 00:22:00,152 That's when it's time to kick some back. 447 00:22:02,029 --> 00:22:03,947 HOMER: And then when he's lying out on the ground... 448 00:22:04,031 --> 00:22:05,407 -BART: Yeah? -...kick him in the ribs... 449 00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:07,034 -BART: Yeah? -...and step on his neck. 450 00:22:07,117 --> 00:22:09,328 -BART: Yeah? -HOMER: And run like hell. 451 00:22:09,411 --> 00:22:10,662 (both laughing) 452 00:22:12,039 --> 00:22:14,082 ♪♪ 453 00:22:57,584 --> 00:22:58,668 Shh! 454 00:23:01,671 --> 00:23:04,466 CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.