1
00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:06,339
辛普森一家

2
00:00:06,715 --> 00:00:07,924
<i>欢迎莅临春田核电厂</i>

3
00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:12,595
<i>春田小学</i>

4
00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:18,768
<i>我不再叫校长呆头</i>

5
00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:26,901
<i>注意安全</i>

6
00:00:26,985 --> 00:00:28,945
<i>《妈妈杂志》 小丑库斯提麦片</i>

7
00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:40,809
<i>KBBL电台</i>

8
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:46,147
在这美丽的情人节
跟你一起跳怪物舞

9
00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:47,816
<i>炒鱿鱼 吃我短裤</i>

10
00:01:47,982 --> 00:01:49,901
马蒂 今天为何播那首歌
世间情歌明明千百万首

11
00:01:49,984 --> 00:01:51,402
<i>得奖猪 你好烂</i>

12
00:01:51,569 --> 00:01:52,695
这也算是情歌啊

13
00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:55,448
所有怪物同享欢乐 一起跳舞

14
00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:56,616
<i>红</i>

15
00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:57,909
保持好他们的邪恶

16
00:01:58,326 --> 00:01:59,702
你播错歌了吧

17
00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:00,787
<i>爱情好恶心</i>

18
00:02:00,870 --> 00:02:01,871
你干嘛这样对我

19
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:10,296
这只是卡片公司用来卖卡片的节日

20
00:02:11,881 --> 00:02:14,676
我孙女寄来的情人卡耶

21
00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:16,719
信封送我好吗

22
00:02:17,929 --> 00:02:20,807
给老莫 你的神秘爱慕者送

23
00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:24,269
-哟呵
-天啊 不要

24
00:02:26,437 --> 00:02:29,649
为荣耀这特别日子
这送给我的小心肝宝贝

25
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:30,817
<i>我爱你</i>

26
00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:33,653
特别日子 我又忘了什么

27
00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:35,947
不要慌 堷根节吗

28
00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:37,574
不对 你疯了

29
00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:40,326
她快不耐烦了 乱猜一下

30
00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:43,454
情人节快乐

31
00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:45,290
谢谢你 亲爱的

32
00:02:46,791 --> 00:02:49,169
你一定安排了很多惊喜吧 爸

33
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:51,421
算是吧

34
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:54,424
现在都没人重视情人节了

35
00:02:55,925 --> 00:02:57,635
<i>如果你觉得我可爱</i>

36
00:02:57,886 --> 00:03:00,013
<i>要我陪你</i>

37
00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:02,682
<i>拜托 爱妻 让我知道</i>

38
00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:08,730
爸 为什么不把你的礼物送给妈

39
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,357
好主意耶 儿子

40
00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:13,234
它…

41
00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:16,070
放在我们家的楼上

42
00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:17,947
我上楼拿

43
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:29,209
<i>不收支票 信用卡 食物券</i>

44
00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:30,543
阿普 你要救我

45
00:03:30,835 --> 00:03:32,587
我需要情人节礼物送老婆

46
00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:33,796
送这个不错哦

47
00:03:33,963 --> 00:03:34,964
<i>爱</i>

48
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,926
太好了 你救我一命 多少钱

49
00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:39,093
100美元

50
00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:41,679
什么 这是抢钱 我不买

51
00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:43,264
你会买的

52
00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:44,807
休想啦

53
00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:46,768
<i>现金</i>

54
00:03:51,272 --> 00:03:53,524
好吧 但我不会来这买东西了

55
00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:57,320
他发现隔壁那家平价超市
损失就大了

56
00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,907
-过期婴儿食物折五分钱
-成交

57
00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:03,826
胡芙老师 可以交换情人卡了吗

58
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:05,370
还没 珍妮

59
00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:09,499
我们要先做好放情人卡的信箱

60
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:11,459
那不是无事忙吗

61
00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:13,211
一针见血 笑吧

62
00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:14,629
什么事 拉尔夫

63
00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:17,340
我爸妈不让我使用剪刀

64
00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:21,219
同学们笑你是对的 拉尔夫

65
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:23,096
这种东西连奶油都切不断

66
00:04:23,638 --> 00:04:26,724
-拿出你们的红蜡笔
-胡芙老师？

67
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:27,934
什么事 拉尔夫

68
00:04:28,226 --> 00:04:30,228
我没有红蜡笔

69
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,188
-为什么
-我吃掉了

70
00:04:34,857 --> 00:04:37,235
大家注意 我是斯金纳校长

71
00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:41,322
有些同学 极可能是巴特·辛普森
在乱传心形糖果

72
00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:43,491
上面写着粗野低级笑话

73
00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:47,245
我跟你们说 情人节不是笑话

74
00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:52,458
<i>岘港市 1969年</i>

75
00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:56,087
<i>美国陆军</i>

76
00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:57,797
寄情人卡给你女朋友啊

77
00:04:58,006 --> 00:04:59,007
对啊

78
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,471
约翰尼

79
00:05:06,347 --> 00:05:08,349
约翰尼

80
00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:11,227
酷 我搞疯他了

81
00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:14,939
好 同学们 交换情人卡吧

82
00:05:15,189 --> 00:05:18,234
胡芙老师 我的头粘到肩膀了

83
00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:27,535
<i>贝齐 山姆</i>

84
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,292
<i>拉尔夫</i>

85
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:36,044
<i>莉萨</i>

86
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:37,170
可怜的拉尔夫

87
00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:39,672
送给你 拉尔夫

88
00:05:40,965 --> 00:05:42,216
<i>我啾啾啾选择你 情人节快乐</i>

89
00:05:42,383 --> 00:05:46,804
-你啾啾啾选择我？
-情人节快乐

90
00:05:51,893 --> 00:05:53,019
<i>牛奶</i>

91
00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:54,145
<i>今天特餐</i>

92
00:05:54,228 --> 00:05:55,396
好耶 特别节日特餐

93
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:58,066
<i>美国军品</i>

94
00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:01,194
-这批牛心要放哪
-地上

95
00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:04,572
-地不太干净耶
-做好工作 热心男

96
00:06:18,294 --> 00:06:19,587
巴特 怎么了

97
00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:22,256
我的狒狒心脏 身体…

98
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:23,841
在排斥它

99
00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:37,438
可以送你回家吗 情人

100
00:06:37,688 --> 00:06:38,689
那好吧

101
00:06:39,690 --> 00:06:42,235
那张情人卡好好玩哦

102
00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:44,112
很高兴你喜欢

103
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:48,157
上面写 啾啾啾选择我

104
00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:50,493
还有火车的图画

105
00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:52,328
对 很好的梗

106
00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:56,541
那…

107
00:06:57,542 --> 00:07:00,503
你喜欢东西吗

108
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:06,050
医生说不要一直挖鼻孔

109
00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:08,177
就不会流那么多鼻血了

110
00:07:09,178 --> 00:07:10,555
我家到了

111
00:07:13,766 --> 00:07:15,476
<i>打啊 猫鼠大战</i>

112
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:16,894
<i>《猫鼠大战》</i>

113
00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:18,938
<i>血腥情人节</i>

114
00:07:21,357 --> 00:07:22,358
<i>我爱你</i>

115
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:39,208
<i>报纸 要有心脏才能活命</i>

116
00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:50,553
小朋友 别忘了观赏
我的29周年纪念秀

117
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:53,347
播出像这样的龙套哥精彩片段

118
00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:55,433
头昏昏美味酱

119
00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:59,270
大家老是拍你马屁

120
00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:03,900
我才不怕老实说 你是个…

121
00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:07,278
能上那个节目 要我怎样都行

122
00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:09,197
卖了长子都行

123
00:08:09,405 --> 00:08:11,449
-嘿
-你给我听话

124
00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:13,201
拉尔夫以为我喜欢他

125
00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:16,454
但我送他情人卡 是因为同情他

126
00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:17,997
甜蜜同情心

127
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,416
没有它 我哪来的爱情生活啊

128
00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:23,044
要怎么说
才能让男孩知道你对他没兴趣

129
00:08:23,377 --> 00:08:24,378
哦 宝贝…

130
00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:27,089
让我来 玛琦 我听得多了

131
00:08:27,548 --> 00:08:28,674
“我把你当朋友那样喜欢”

132
00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:31,928
“我们应该多认识其他人”
“我不会讲英语”

133
00:08:32,136 --> 00:08:34,514
-我懂了
-“我要嫁给大海”

134
00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:36,265
“我很不想杀你 但别逼我”

135
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:40,061
宝贝 我会跟那男孩说
我很受宠若惊

136
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,772
但还没为这种事做好准备

137
00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:43,856
谢了 妈

138
00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:46,359
那招没用 十个字

139
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,694
“我不是同志 但我愿学习”

140
00:08:49,111 --> 00:08:53,366
拉尔夫 我觉得你人很好
但我还没为这种事做好准备

141
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,743
-你明白吗
-大概吧

142
00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:57,328
很好

143
00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:03,501
爸 怎么让女孩喜欢你

144
00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:06,879
儿子 你想泡到妞或敲碎核桃时

145
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:08,756
就要死缠烂打

146
00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:11,884
挺下去 不能失去酷劲

147
00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:16,430
快啊 你这臭核桃…

148
00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:20,476
这叫杀鸡儆猴 给我记住

149
00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:23,104
好 爸 我会死缠烂打的

150
00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:25,940
-你就那样泡到妈的？
-哦 儿啊

151
00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:29,235
不要低估制服男的魅力

152
00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:31,612
哦 耶

153
00:09:35,366 --> 00:09:36,242
哦 耶

154
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,455
<i>《小丑库斯提29周年纪念秀》</i>

155
00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:45,459
小朋友们 四天后
我的周年纪念秀就要登场了

156
00:09:45,876 --> 00:09:49,380
29年耶 一开始
他们还说我撑不过一星期

157
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:52,967
知道那些人哪去了吗 死透了

158
00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:55,011
你们在地底下过得好吗

159
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:58,055
总之 精彩片段来了

160
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:02,184
他们为什么叫他尿尿猴

161
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:05,730
我刚顿悟了

162
00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:08,649
那段超好笑 理由超多

163
00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:10,443
我们一定要去上那节目

164
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,361
算了吧 想拿到票

165
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:15,531
爸妈必须是春田文化界精英

166
00:10:16,073 --> 00:10:19,160
你们相信法兰德斯
居然把好好的牙刷丢了吗

167
00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:27,918
哦 惨了 是拉尔夫

168
00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:29,545
帮我编借口弄走他

169
00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:33,591
-她在大号 走开
-是的 先生

170
00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:35,217
我愿为莉萨做任何事

171
00:10:36,218 --> 00:10:37,219
真的？

172
00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:44,310
辛普森先生 柏油味害我头好晕

173
00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:45,728
是喔 正常

174
00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:49,023
<i>总统日选角会</i>

175
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:53,611
最亲爱的马莎
我从小就希望能登上一元钞票

176
00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:56,447
在你的协助下 我会达成的

177
00:10:56,697 --> 00:10:58,741
乔治·华盛顿敬上

178
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,119
谢谢你 雷斯

179
00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:06,624
我为我们的 《总统日庆典》
选定演出者了

180
00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:10,044
马莎·华盛顿由莉萨·辛普森饰演

181
00:11:11,253 --> 00:11:13,255
乔治·华盛顿的饰演者为…

182
00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:15,716
拉尔夫·维古姆

183
00:11:17,259 --> 00:11:19,303
什么 太可笑了

184
00:11:19,595 --> 00:11:22,598
大家都知道
我是这个可笑学校的最佳演员

185
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:25,017
-坐下 雷斯
-我不坐下

186
00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:27,520
有人控制了你 扯谎母牛

187
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:28,813
你太扯了 雷斯

188
00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:31,440
拉尔夫赢得光明正大

189
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:33,401
信号来了

190
00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:34,485
<i>仅限老师停车</i>

191
00:11:34,568 --> 00:11:35,945
放开她的车 兄弟们

192
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:39,782
拉尔夫现在要跟我同台演戏了

193
00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:43,494
他一定会在全校师生面前害我丢人

194
00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:51,043
惨了 是拉尔夫送来的

195
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:55,673
一台马里布史黛西超跑

196
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:57,925
看看“厚”车厢

197
00:11:58,718 --> 00:11:59,719
他一定是指后车厢

198
00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:05,307
库斯提周年纪念秀的票

199
00:12:05,933 --> 00:12:07,977
他一定想要我一起去

200
00:12:08,477 --> 00:12:09,770
不公平

201
00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:12,231
我迷库斯提比你迷十倍

202
00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:14,525
甚至做了库斯提居家验孕法

203
00:12:14,608 --> 00:12:15,609
<i>警告 可能会造成畸型儿</i>

204
00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:18,195
我好像不该去 我根本不喜欢他

205
00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:21,031
你对 你不该去 那样不诚实

206
00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:23,242
我去 伪装成你

207
00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:25,119
万一他想牵手呢

208
00:12:25,327 --> 00:12:26,746
我做好牺牲准备了

209
00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:28,205
万一他想亲亲呢

210
00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:30,416
-我做好牺牲准备了
-万一他…

211
00:12:30,541 --> 00:12:32,001
你不会想知道我愿牺牲到什么程度

212
00:12:32,376 --> 00:12:33,419
<i>奥罗罗伯特大学奖状</i>
<i>奈德·法兰德斯</i>

213
00:12:33,544 --> 00:12:36,881
爸 拿你不喜欢之人的东西
是对的吗

214
00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:38,424
当然 宝贝

215
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:40,634
你是指偷东西吧

216
00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:43,471
其实没有“偷”那么糟啦

217
00:12:43,637 --> 00:12:45,264
但我的良心过不去

218
00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:46,640
你的良心？

219
00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:50,644
莉萨 别让那咄咄逼人的小不点
教你怎么做

220
00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:53,439
霍默 这样说很没良心哦

221
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:55,816
-闭嘴啦
-遵命

222
00:12:58,235 --> 00:13:01,697
我好高兴你啾啾啾选择一起来

223
00:13:02,364 --> 00:13:04,450
你应该休息一下哦 拉尔夫

224
00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:06,994
维古姆局长 你怎么弄到票的

225
00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:08,871
库斯提很会做人

226
00:13:08,996 --> 00:13:11,040
<i>春田X级电影院现在放映</i>
<i>《黛比睡春田》</i>

227
00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:16,128
什么都比不上一部好色情片

228
00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:18,422
维古姆局长 你要逮捕我吗

229
00:13:19,256 --> 00:13:20,257
对

230
00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:21,926
正是 逮捕

231
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,470
那故事不适合小朋友听哦

232
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:27,348
真的？在这版中里 我没脱裤子

233
00:13:29,308 --> 00:13:32,353
欢迎观赏小丑库斯提
29周年纪念秀

234
00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:33,687
嘿

235
00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:38,067
谢谢

236
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,069
嘿 总统先生

237
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:43,239
我帮另一个助选的 但票投给你哦

238
00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:50,621
我做这节目是好久以前了
那时阿亚图拉还只有山羊胡

239
00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:53,457
<i>拍手</i>

240
00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:58,087
怎么回事 你们都不看报的吗

241
00:13:59,046 --> 00:14:00,756
来看精彩片段吧

242
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:02,049
<i>罗伯·弗洛斯特 1963年</i>

243
00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:04,760
他不会看到我停在这里

244
00:14:05,135 --> 00:14:07,304
看他的森林下满了雪…

245
00:14:07,596 --> 00:14:10,641
弗洛斯特 你想要雪吗

246
00:14:13,477 --> 00:14:15,479
我们讨论过的 我说不要

247
00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:20,150
这是1973年的精彩片段

248
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:21,902
<i>《科隆随着库斯提》</i>

249
00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:32,288
我当时是吃了什么药

250
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,499
莉萨 你想咬一口我的棒冰吗

251
00:14:35,791 --> 00:14:36,792
不了 谢谢

252
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:38,252
拿过来 小子

253
00:14:38,502 --> 00:14:40,337
-哎哟
-噢

254
00:14:40,504 --> 00:14:43,674
噢 巧克力是洗不掉的 你看

255
00:14:44,508 --> 00:14:47,261
我多年来跟过几位超棒的二把手合作

256
00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:50,973
但最让人难忘的就是龙套拉西

257
00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:55,394
剧本写我应该用这个敲你

258
00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:56,604
劝你不要

259
00:14:56,937 --> 00:14:57,938
好喔

260
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:06,030
好一个愤青

261
00:15:06,488 --> 00:15:08,490
现在最精彩的一段来了

262
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:10,618
上面写什么

263
00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:12,411
跟观众说话？

264
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,830
老天 总是冷场到死

265
00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:16,165
好吧

266
00:15:16,790 --> 00:15:18,834
拜托不要叫到我和拉尔夫

267
00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:21,795
-你叫什么名字 孩子
-拉尔夫

268
00:15:23,088 --> 00:15:25,215
这是你女朋友吗 拉尔夫

269
00:15:25,466 --> 00:15:27,676
没错 我爱莉萨·辛普森

270
00:15:27,801 --> 00:15:30,387
我长大后要娶她

271
00:15:30,512 --> 00:15:32,640
不要

272
00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:36,477
你听好 我不喜欢你
我没喜欢过你

273
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:38,437
我会送你那张傻气的情人卡

274
00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:40,522
是因为没人送你

275
00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:45,110
看好 莉萨 他的心裂成两半那一刻
可看得很清楚哦

276
00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:48,739
就…现在

277
00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:02,920
至少你们还是我朋友

278
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,718
儿子 我懂你心情

279
00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:12,262
你泡过很棒的小女孩
全世界都是你的

280
00:16:12,554 --> 00:16:14,765
错 爸 她害我像个傻子

281
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:18,268
嘿 回想起来 真的耶

282
00:16:18,852 --> 00:16:22,773
她没算计到警察局长权力有多大

283
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:25,985
我把警徽放哪去了

284
00:16:26,694 --> 00:16:28,696
喂 鸭子叼走了

285
00:16:28,946 --> 00:16:31,865
回来 还给我 我需要它

286
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,034
送你啦

287
00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:40,416
有事吗 警官

288
00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:42,334
对 尾灯坏了

289
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:43,502
哪里

290
00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:45,587
那里

291
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:49,133
总有一天正直良民们会挺身而出

292
00:16:49,216 --> 00:16:50,342
对抗你们恶警

293
00:16:50,592 --> 00:16:52,386
是吗 哦 毁了

294
00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:53,804
他们设好日期没

295
00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:57,391
<i>《为总统日欢呼》</i>

296
00:16:57,558 --> 00:17:00,102
<i>一定要看才能拿到学分</i>
<i>斯金纳校长</i>

297
00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:01,228
<i>总统日饮料 五毛钱橙汁</i>

298
00:17:01,311 --> 00:17:02,312
我们只能靠橙汁赚回来

299
00:17:02,396 --> 00:17:04,690
上出《消防演习蠢事》害我们赔惨了

300
00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:07,026
我都不知道哪出错了

301
00:17:07,234 --> 00:17:10,487
你一开场就大喊消防演习
大家全跑光了

302
00:17:12,156 --> 00:17:14,700
母亲说得没错 都是我的错

303
00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:17,619
快 再稀释多一点

304
00:17:17,911 --> 00:17:21,749
天哪 我稀释到不能再稀释了

305
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:23,709
我不能再加水了

306
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:28,255
大家晚安
欢迎观赏精彩绝伦话剧之夜

307
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:30,674
终场时 请自行清洁环境

308
00:17:32,426 --> 00:17:35,888
首先我们要向无名总统们致敬

309
00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:43,103
<i>我们是无名小卒总统</i>

310
00:17:43,479 --> 00:17:46,482
<i>钞票钱币上看不到我们的脸</i>

311
00:17:46,690 --> 00:17:48,233
<i>有个太勒 有个泰勒</i>

312
00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:49,902
<i>有个菲尔莫尔 有个海耶斯</i>

313
00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:51,612
<i>有个威廉·亨利·哈里逊</i>

314
00:17:51,695 --> 00:17:53,280
<i>我30天就死了</i>

315
00:17:53,655 --> 00:17:58,327
<i>我们合宜合格 很好忘记</i>

316
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:01,455
<i>偶尔略带遗憾</i>

317
00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:03,749
<i>看守总统们</i>

318
00:18:03,832 --> 00:18:08,545
<i>美国总统</i>

319
00:18:16,261 --> 00:18:17,846
女孩们 看这个总统

320
00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:20,015
我不是屁屁

321
00:18:22,392 --> 00:18:24,228
巴特 你想演约翰·威尔克斯·布斯

322
00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:25,604
还是想像个神经病

323
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:26,772
我会乖的

324
00:18:30,692 --> 00:18:33,570
-拉尔夫 对不起 我…
-离我远一点

325
00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:35,739
我是来演乔治·华盛顿的

326
00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:37,991
拉尔夫？

327
00:18:39,284 --> 00:18:43,163
胡芙老师 这假胡子让我起疹子

328
00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:46,083
米尔豪斯 你只有一句台词
就被暗杀掉了

329
00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:48,085
给我上台去

330
00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:51,463
我以为内战永不会结束

331
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:56,718
现在让福特剧院之夜来疗愈我吧

332
00:18:57,010 --> 00:18:59,596
惨了 约翰·威尔克斯·布斯

333
00:19:00,013 --> 00:19:01,849
再见拜拜啦 阿比

334
00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:07,521
快啊 小子 做掉他

335
00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:11,567
轮到你了 查斯特·阿瑟

336
00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:15,279
放开我 北方佬

337
00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:17,698
现在接近尾声了

338
00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:22,161
请观赏压轴好戏
重演乔治·华盛顿的传奇一生

339
00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:29,376
亲爱的乔治·华盛顿

340
00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:33,088
你梦想的自由值得流这么多血吗

341
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:36,675
值得吗

342
00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:45,559
亲爱的女士
我们呼吸的空气能标价吗

343
00:19:45,642 --> 00:19:47,895
支持我们的天意呢

344
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,564
难道我们不能向英军投降吗

345
00:19:51,231 --> 00:19:52,274
绝不

346
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:57,112
那小子演技精湛

347
00:19:57,446 --> 00:20:00,908
他让我更想向开国元勋们学习了

348
00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:03,410
-去图书馆
-耶

349
00:20:04,494 --> 00:20:07,497
亲爱的马莎 我时日无多

350
00:20:08,498 --> 00:20:09,499
哦 乔治

351
00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:12,920
你的汤来了 总统先生

352
00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:15,297
我不要喝汤

353
00:20:15,672 --> 00:20:18,675
你走 免得我用手杖打你

354
00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:20,552
是的

355
00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:25,057
请不要离开我 乔治

356
00:20:25,432 --> 00:20:30,562
爱妻 若我能带一件宝物去来生

357
00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:33,607
我想带走你温柔的吻

358
00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:39,905
真是男子汉啊

359
00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:51,333
我爸因为偷猪被吊死时 我都没哭

360
00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:53,418
现在我却哭了

361
00:21:00,968 --> 00:21:06,598
<i>自海至光辉之海</i>

362
00:21:08,016 --> 00:21:09,017
感谢捧场

363
00:21:09,393 --> 00:21:11,728
别忘了买杯橙汁

364
00:21:11,812 --> 00:21:13,772
长途开车可以喝

365
00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:17,401
拉尔夫 你太棒了

366
00:21:17,567 --> 00:21:19,987
<i>后台出口</i>

367
00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:22,114
-莉萨
-嗨 拉尔夫

368
00:21:22,489 --> 00:21:23,865
你今晚演得太棒了

369
00:21:24,199 --> 00:21:25,325
谢了

370
00:21:25,742 --> 00:21:27,244
我有东西送你

371
00:21:28,036 --> 00:21:30,080
我们来做朋友吧

372
00:21:30,330 --> 00:21:33,625
上面写“蜜蜂”还有蜜蜂图画

373
00:21:35,794 --> 00:21:37,337
我就知道你会喜欢

374
00:21:38,755 --> 00:21:41,091
你看看

375
00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:42,718
各单位注意

376
00:21:42,926 --> 00:21:44,970
-暴动发生…
-不要在今晚啊

377
00:21:45,345 --> 00:21:49,433
嘿 比尔和马蒂
来给美丽总统日收尾了

378
00:21:49,725 --> 00:21:53,854
乔治 林肯和众总统们
这首特别的歌献给你们

379
00:21:57,524 --> 00:21:58,775
讨厌

380
00:23:02,506 --> 00:23:04,508
字幕翻译：侯敏生