1
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辛普森家庭

2
00:00:06,756 --> 00:00:07,966
（歡迎蒞臨春田核電廠）

3
00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:12,595
（春田小學）

4
00:00:14,889 --> 00:00:18,393
（沒人對我的小褲褲有興趣）

5
00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:26,943
（注意安全）

6
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,903
（《媽媽雜誌》、小丑庫斯提麥片）

7
00:01:24,834 --> 00:01:27,629
完了，我看不見，我瞎了…

8
00:01:30,173 --> 00:01:31,257
愚人節快樂

9
00:01:38,139 --> 00:01:40,433
愚人節快樂

10
00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:42,227
我一直藏著那瓶牛奶…

11
00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:44,896
藏在暖氣旁六星期了，呆呆

12
00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:47,482
你完蛋了，荷馬，我會整到你

13
00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,442
你就只會嗆聲啦

14
00:01:49,692 --> 00:01:51,569
我會整得你慘兮兮

15
00:01:51,861 --> 00:01:54,489
你在生命中最笨的一天
連你媽都整不到

16
00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:56,533
就算你有電擊整人機也一樣

17
00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:05,959
愚人節是哪個高貴空想家發明的？

18
00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:08,503
就像萬聖節和聖誕節

19
00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,922
愚人節可追溯到異教徒儀式

20
00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:12,590
上帝保佑那些異教徒

21
00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:15,093
四月一日曾是異教徒的新年

22
00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:19,764
血祭邪神…

23
00:02:19,889 --> 00:02:21,057
（4月1日，2020年）

24
00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:23,226
血祭邪神

25
00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:27,230
基督徒更改他們的曆法
嘲笑沒這麼做的人

26
00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:28,982
新年快樂

27
00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:30,316
嗨呵，異教徒們

28
00:02:30,608 --> 00:02:33,611
新年三個月前就過了
但我還是要送禮給你們

29
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:36,322
你們無神祭典用的公羊血哦

30
00:02:39,617 --> 00:02:40,785
愚人節快樂

31
00:02:45,331 --> 00:02:47,041
現在誰在大笑啊？

32
00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:49,043
現在誰在大笑啊？

33
00:02:49,377 --> 00:02:52,297
以上就是愚人節的由來

34
00:02:52,463 --> 00:02:54,841
爸，是我在講故事耶

35
00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:59,679
（油炸荷蘭人，吃到飽）

36
00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:01,514
它在那裡

37
00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:03,183
一日大豐收

38
00:03:08,062 --> 00:03:09,647
可恨的叛徒們

39
00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:12,692
從今天起，我要求戴髮網

40
00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:19,157
一定要在今天結束前，整到他

41
00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:20,909
怎麼整？

42
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:23,077
他一定有弱點

43
00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:26,164
啤酒，我的弱點啊

44
00:03:26,414 --> 00:03:28,124
算是我的致命傷吧

45
00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,585
啤酒，啤酒就對了

46
00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:32,420
但要怎麼利用它…

47
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:37,842
幸好啤酒沒被搖得更厲害

48
00:03:38,176 --> 00:03:42,013
不然我在愚人節會很像個愚人

49
00:03:45,516 --> 00:03:47,393
（春田五金行，營業中）

50
00:03:48,519 --> 00:03:50,563
小朋友，客人才能使用哦

51
00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:54,317
你知道外面有人
在發送戰痘水楊酸棉片嗎？

52
00:03:54,525 --> 00:03:57,153
哇，我來到痘疤臉天堂了

53
00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:58,363
傻瓜

54
00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:02,659
（達夫啤酒）

55
00:04:17,715 --> 00:04:18,967
好渴

56
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:21,010
啊不然要怎樣？

57
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:37,193
以下是公共服務廣告

58
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,236
（警告）

59
00:04:38,319 --> 00:04:40,947
喝太多酒會很傷肝

60
00:04:41,239 --> 00:04:42,782
造成直腸癌

61
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:45,285
啤酒…

62
00:04:56,546 --> 00:04:58,047
愚人節…

63
00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:04,137
聽起來像老辛普森家爆炸了

64
00:05:04,762 --> 00:05:06,306
管他啊，兩條街外耶

65
00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:08,683
好像有啤酒從煙囪噴出來耶

66
00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:11,602
我跑過去，通報八號狀況

67
00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:14,772
我們需要蝴蝶餅，覆述，蝴蝶餅

68
00:05:25,908 --> 00:05:28,494
辛普森太太，節哀，你老公死了

69
00:05:31,205 --> 00:05:32,332
愚人節快樂

70
00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:34,000
他還活跳跳

71
00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:36,419
但恐怕不能走路了

72
00:05:37,795 --> 00:05:40,631
划…划你的船，輕划下溪流…

73
00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:42,633
-小荷荷
-美枝

74
00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:47,555
荷馬有超多的嚴重毛病

75
00:05:47,972 --> 00:05:49,807
這些陰影都代表腦損傷

76
00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:52,352
由無數次重擊頭部造成的

77
00:06:14,665 --> 00:06:15,500
（油漆）

78
00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:33,476
他的腦波古怪得讓人不安

79
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:36,938
你們全家人都以電線串連在一起

80
00:06:37,271 --> 00:06:39,232
你有能力電擊其他人

81
00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:41,401
其他人也能電擊…

82
00:06:42,276 --> 00:06:43,820
測試一下

83
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:47,615
霸子，你怎能電你妹妹？

84
00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:49,117
我手滑了

85
00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:51,452
我也是

86
00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:54,747
霸子、花枝，住手

87
00:06:56,749 --> 00:06:57,917
霸子

88
00:06:58,292 --> 00:07:00,586
不可以…等等

89
00:07:01,295 --> 00:07:03,756
等等，各位…請聽我…

90
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:07,343
這樣是健康不了的

91
00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:10,430
（接待處）

92
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:12,432
（門羅醫生家庭身心治療中心）

93
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:17,145
辛普森太太，你能想到成因嗎？

94
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:19,021
我不知道耶

95
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:22,108
除非是他一再掉下斷崖那一次

96
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,069
我不再跳崖了，我發誓

97
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:28,906
謝天謝地…

98
00:07:29,073 --> 00:07:31,617
-我愛你，爸
-我也愛你，兒子

99
00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:33,536
小子，我好像從沒有…

100
00:07:33,661 --> 00:07:36,914
感覺跟你這麼親…

101
00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:38,583
什麼？

102
00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:47,216
我要飛過去了…

103
00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:49,260
我生命中最刺激的一刻

104
00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:50,636
我是世界之王

105
00:07:52,388 --> 00:07:53,473
我…

106
00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:01,939
不…

107
00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:29,091
不…

108
00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:38,059
那還是無法解釋我看到的慘況

109
00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:40,895
你好眼熟，我們見過嗎？

110
00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:44,815
（春田獸醫院）

111
00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:48,152
離手

112
00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:50,029
離手

113
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:51,489
醫生，他走了

114
00:08:51,572 --> 00:08:52,573
（倉鼠）

115
00:08:53,407 --> 00:08:55,159
我最痛恨這方面的工作了

116
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:00,873
你是個獸醫？

117
00:09:01,165 --> 00:09:03,209
沒錯，再多付20塊

118
00:09:03,292 --> 00:09:05,336
我就幫荷馬洗除蜱澡跟結紮

119
00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:07,296
-拿去吧，醫生
-霸子

120
00:09:07,588 --> 00:09:09,549
去比比價，找不到更便宜的了

121
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:12,426
你們一定擔心得要命吧

122
00:09:12,843 --> 00:09:14,387
嘿，我們知道你超猛，爸

123
00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:16,639
記得你在森林迷路那次嗎？

124
00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:21,644
這是陷阱

125
00:09:21,894 --> 00:09:23,312
它可幫我們抓到晚餐，來，小子

126
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:26,732
看好了

127
00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:33,823
抓到了

128
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:40,788
好…

129
00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:43,624
這次我要走進那個草叢裡

130
00:09:43,874 --> 00:09:46,043
弄出很大騷動，把兔子趕出來

131
00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:50,214
-他衝出來，你就踩住他
-好，爸

132
00:09:53,634 --> 00:09:54,719
弄走他們

133
00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:56,429
弄走他們…

134
00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:06,814
真的，你應對技能高超

135
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,036
你們的漢堡要涼了，各位…

136
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:21,787
我的媽呀

137
00:10:48,022 --> 00:10:49,607
有一集《癢癢鼠與抓抓貓》卡通

138
00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:51,525
我們永遠都不會忘的哦

139
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:05,956
幹嘛哪壺不開提哪壺？

140
00:11:06,248 --> 00:11:07,708
那集很好笑嘛

141
00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:09,752
我們笑得好樂

142
00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:12,546
感恩來探望我，老莫

143
00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:13,923
我帶了個小禮物來

144
00:11:14,298 --> 00:11:16,967
不要…啤酒帶來痛苦

145
00:11:17,259 --> 00:11:19,637
我受不了看他這樣了

146
00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:41,075
他太需要交女朋友了

147
00:11:41,992 --> 00:11:45,371
美枝，萬一我變植物人呢？

148
00:11:45,746 --> 00:11:47,498
癱在沙發上看電視？

149
00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:50,584
我的重要工作永遠完成不了

150
00:11:51,001 --> 00:11:53,087
算是社會的損失吧

151
00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:55,548
但我們的婚姻經歷風風雨雨

152
00:11:55,631 --> 00:11:57,425
我們都平安度過

153
00:12:08,477 --> 00:12:10,187
（注意，有輻射）

154
00:12:23,784 --> 00:12:26,495
美枝，好棒的驚喜哦

155
00:12:27,037 --> 00:12:28,205
你是來見我的吧？

156
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:29,707
那當然

157
00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:41,761
嘿，漂亮，荷馬…

158
00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:42,928
（沒事、危險）

159
00:12:43,053 --> 00:12:44,472
嘿，我怎麼跟老闆說？

160
00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:47,725
跟他說我要去車後座

161
00:12:48,058 --> 00:12:49,685
跟我的愛人車震

162
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:52,897
十分鐘後才回來

163
00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:01,530
（綜合醫院）

164
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:02,907
你可以的，荷馬，站起來

165
00:13:03,407 --> 00:13:04,492
我不行

166
00:13:05,534 --> 00:13:07,912
他動也不動，我什麼都試過了

167
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,288
什麼都激勵不了他

168
00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:13,918
（糖果）

169
00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:17,922
巧克力

170
00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:22,885
（巧克力園地，1372）

171
00:13:31,185 --> 00:13:34,522
（牛奶糖鎮）

172
00:13:54,291 --> 00:13:56,210
（好甜巧克力店，五折大特惠）

173
00:13:56,418 --> 00:13:59,505
哇，巧克力，半價耶

174
00:14:07,137 --> 00:14:08,305
巧克力…

175
00:14:22,194 --> 00:14:24,488
無法呼吸…巧克力太甜…

176
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,240
阻絕空氣…

177
00:14:32,079 --> 00:14:33,289
堅果

178
00:14:38,085 --> 00:14:39,169
哦，耶

179
00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:44,383
可憐的荷馬

180
00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:48,387
世界一直容不下如此美麗的你

181
00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:52,933
殺啊…

182
00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:55,603
爺爺，拜託，他昏迷不醒

183
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,062
昏迷不醒？

184
00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:59,899
我三不五時都會陷入昏迷…

185
00:15:02,776 --> 00:15:03,986
法國吐司，麻煩了

186
00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:05,446
昏迷不醒會痛嗎？

187
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:06,947
才不會

188
00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:11,285
你會重活最長的歡樂暑假
親親高中女同學…

189
00:15:11,368 --> 00:15:13,078
像那種電視節目一樣

190
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:15,372
剪接從前的精彩片段來播放

191
00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:17,207
對，總之…

192
00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:19,543
不知道現在他在想什麼

193
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:36,435
（這裡是夢鄉，美食、加油、住宿）

194
00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:07,591
這傢伙害我一天損失五千塊醫療保險

195
00:16:07,841 --> 00:16:10,219
我要求讓他死得有尊嚴

196
00:16:12,012 --> 00:16:13,597
聽著，我才是醫生哦

197
00:16:13,764 --> 00:16:15,516
那我要求第二意見

198
00:16:15,891 --> 00:16:17,393
嗨，大家好

199
00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:19,061
嗨，尼克醫生

200
00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:23,732
天哪，我沒看到生命跡象

201
00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:26,777
安全起見，最好拔掉插頭

202
00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:27,903
喲

203
00:16:28,278 --> 00:16:31,031
伯恩斯先生，你怎能如此冷血？

204
00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:35,077
你有所不知，女人
他曾把我害得多慘

205
00:16:36,578 --> 00:16:37,579
伯恩斯先生

206
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,123
我需要借點錢

207
00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:41,000
請繼續說

208
00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:42,751
我知道你是個大好人

209
00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:45,337
我的狗病得好重

210
00:16:45,421 --> 00:16:46,672
（警衛）

211
00:16:46,797 --> 00:16:48,716
請繼續

212
00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:50,217
我在想也許你…

213
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:54,722
多謝你給我時間

214
00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,475
我有個偏方

215
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:00,978
可算是很精彩的航程

216
00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:07,568
三位科學家、一位美女
將縮小到極小

217
00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:11,405
最後在辛普森先生的下結腸會合

218
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:16,326
但我們有點難找到自願者

219
00:17:18,495 --> 00:17:20,706
但願我曾好好地瞭解你，爸

220
00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:24,001
不過我們有過父女連心的時刻

221
00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:29,465
爸，要我停吹穿腦魔音嗎？

222
00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:31,800
-吹來我聽聽
-為什麼？

223
00:17:31,967 --> 00:17:36,013
老爸需要講那麼多嗎？
共享你的天賦，行嗎？

224
00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:51,361
耶，這還差不多

225
00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:58,744
哦，我想一起跳倫巴

226
00:17:59,411 --> 00:18:02,623
當聖者去了那裡

227
00:18:03,624 --> 00:18:04,750
哦，去了那裡

228
00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:07,127
哦，去了那裡

229
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:10,089
這是我為你寫的曲子，爸

230
00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:28,607
爸，我好抱歉

231
00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:31,360
我知道我不是完美兒子

232
00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:34,279
（荷馬的零錢，不准碰）

233
00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:53,382
你這小子…

234
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:07,604
什麼鬼…不

235
00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:11,108
（自動門）

236
00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:29,251
（停車、沒燈在閃）

237
00:19:31,795 --> 00:19:33,964
我知道我常惹你生氣

238
00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:36,717
不…

239
00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:51,231
有時候，我惹上了麻煩

240
00:19:58,989 --> 00:20:01,366
-霸子，你不能這樣下去
-我知道

241
00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:05,621
但你總是會罩著我

242
00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:09,208
荷馬，雨下得好大

243
00:20:09,416 --> 00:20:10,667
去看看孩子們好嗎？

244
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:15,422
他們安啦

245
00:20:15,714 --> 00:20:17,132
不論發生什麼事

246
00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:20,010
我永不會忘記你給我的忠告

247
00:20:20,844 --> 00:20:22,346
來，你一定要學會刮鬍子

248
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:27,684
最後刮掉你鼻子下方一小點

249
00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:30,896
接下來，撕一段衛生紙

250
00:20:31,146 --> 00:20:33,565
再撕下一小小片

251
00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:35,317
黏一片在那

252
00:20:36,151 --> 00:20:38,862
跟那裡、跟任何出血處

253
00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:42,199
那裡，跟那裡，放心
血只會留在你臉上

254
00:20:42,532 --> 00:20:44,576
再用些鬚後爽膚水

255
00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:51,833
痛炸我…

256
00:20:52,709 --> 00:20:54,169
鬍子就是這麼刮的

257
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:56,797
爸，都是我的錯

258
00:20:57,047 --> 00:20:58,840
我猛搖了那罐啤酒

259
00:20:59,675 --> 00:21:01,468
那只是愚人節整人把戲

260
00:21:15,482 --> 00:21:16,858
你這小子…

261
00:21:17,693 --> 00:21:19,486
小荷荷，你沒事了

262
00:21:19,611 --> 00:21:21,113
我們全家又團圓了

263
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,038
值得慶祝一下

264
00:21:30,414 --> 00:21:32,165
全家去夏威夷爽玩

265
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:37,379
整到你們了，愚人節還有兩分鐘

266
00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:39,381
爸，今天是5月16號了

267
00:21:39,548 --> 00:21:41,675
你昏迷不醒七星期

268
00:21:52,561 --> 00:21:54,730
失去了5％的大腦

269
00:21:54,938 --> 00:21:56,231
我失去大腦？

270
00:22:04,573 --> 00:22:05,657
我幹嘛笑？