1
00:00:03,586 --> 00:00:06,214
辛普森家庭

2
00:00:06,756 --> 00:00:10,301
（我會歸還導盲犬）

3
00:00:14,347 --> 00:00:15,974
（注意安全）

4
00:00:16,057 --> 00:00:17,976
（《媽媽雜誌》、小丑庫斯提麥片）

5
00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,037
不

6
00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:57,348
同學們，有人通風報信

7
00:00:57,474 --> 00:01:00,477
查默斯局長計畫來突襲檢查

8
00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:02,729
所以快清好這個豬窩

9
00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:11,362
還有件事，以下這幾位同學
贏得了越野單車哦

10
00:01:11,821 --> 00:01:12,864
霸子辛普森

11
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,449
吉保瓊斯

12
00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:16,326
尼爾森蒙特斯

13
00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:20,288
我要你繼續把髒東西塞進衣服
直到我回來

14
00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:21,956
遵命

15
00:01:24,667 --> 00:01:27,921
你們可去多用途B地下室領取單車

16
00:01:29,297 --> 00:01:30,423
呆瓜

17
00:01:37,847 --> 00:01:38,890
哎喲

18
00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:40,391
忘了關

19
00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:44,187
喂，他說呆瓜是什麼意思？

20
00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:47,482
管他，該去領越野單車了

21
00:01:47,732 --> 00:01:50,026
（民事防護避難室，越野單車在此）

22
00:01:53,738 --> 00:01:55,031
嘿，是怎樣？

23
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:56,574
越野單車在哪？

24
00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:58,535
各位，不好意思唬弄了你們

25
00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:02,205
因為局長大駕光臨
你們被掃進見不得光之處

26
00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:03,706
享樂吧

27
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,043
我們要怎麼逃出去？

28
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:09,671
何時才能領到越野單車？

29
00:02:10,046 --> 00:02:12,674
要是我扔了鑰匙，世人會狠批我嗎？

30
00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:15,510
不會，但親師會會狠狠修理你

31
00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:18,638
明智忠告，威廉
但講屁話毫無助益

32
00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:19,931
是，校長

33
00:02:20,014 --> 00:02:22,892
愛洗澡、穿小褲褲的臭文青

34
00:02:26,187 --> 00:02:29,065
（西摩爾斯金納校長）

35
00:02:30,191 --> 00:02:32,068
查默斯局長，歡迎

36
00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:33,528
哈囉，西摩爾

37
00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:36,114
教育委員會有什麼消息啊？

38
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:37,949
我們要降低地理科要求

39
00:02:38,032 --> 00:02:41,119
孩子們測驗成績不佳
證明那讓人難堪

40
00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:43,329
好極了，回歸三R金律

41
00:02:43,746 --> 00:02:45,206
十月變成雙R

42
00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:47,333
對這些布條有何看法？

43
00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:48,793
（歡迎局長，我們愛查默斯）

44
00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:50,670
-顯然是今天急就章搞出來的
-都是同學們的點子

45
00:02:50,795 --> 00:02:52,005
我努力阻止他們了

46
00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:55,258
永遠推給同學們就行了，西摩爾？

47
00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:57,343
對，沒錯…長官

48
00:02:57,886 --> 00:03:00,805
想像沒惡霸的校園會怎樣

49
00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:02,015
（毯子）

50
00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:03,975
書呆不會被痛扁

51
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,686
孩子們會用午餐錢買飯吃

52
00:03:06,811 --> 00:03:08,229
我受不了

53
00:03:12,942 --> 00:03:15,361
我應可擠進那管道間哦

54
00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:18,114
-好耶
-讚啦，霸子，上吧…

55
00:03:19,657 --> 00:03:21,659
（餅乾）

56
00:03:23,119 --> 00:03:26,331
（化學掩臭劑）

57
00:03:26,414 --> 00:03:30,251
記住，小兄弟，我們只能靠你了

58
00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:35,423
-準啦
-漂亮，兄弟

59
00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:40,053
要來塊果凍磚嗎？長官
中間有顆葡萄哦

60
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,096
我又不是鐵石心腸

61
00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:43,514
（請一次拿一個）

62
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,475
你又不是鐵石心腸

63
00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:49,145
吃磚，你不是鐵石心腸

64
00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:51,356
我的美人兒

65
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,651
等局長看到你就知道了

66
00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:58,363
要不是會違反上帝律法
我就娶你為妻

67
00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:01,407
好個孤單男子啊

68
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,290
我初來乍到

69
00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:13,836
哪有酷湖可讓女人清洗一頭長紅髮

70
00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:16,965
沒，但我們社區有座游泳池

71
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:18,549
深處曾有過老鼠

72
00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:21,636
-但我們逮到他了
-帶路

73
00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:27,308
48、49、50

74
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:28,768
國旗是新版的

75
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:30,311
好極了，西摩爾

76
00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:32,563
同學們跟外表看來一樣聰慧嗎？

77
00:04:32,855 --> 00:04:34,691
隨機選一個吧

78
00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:36,901
那個如何？

79
00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:39,320
-這個男孩？
-不是…花枝辛普森

80
00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:40,947
紐奧良戰役何時打的？

81
00:04:41,155 --> 00:04:45,576
1815年1月8日
戰爭在兩星期後終結

82
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,745
-一等一
-戰役是什麼？

83
00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:52,083
-走吧
-那孩子說戰役是什麼嗎？

84
00:04:52,208 --> 00:04:53,543
沒，他說的是，那什麼聲音？

85
00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:54,836
暖氣管道的聲響

86
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,546
聽起來像“戰役”

87
00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:58,256
我感冒，所以…

88
00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:01,009
-所以你才會聽錯？
-沒錯

89
00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:02,510
我理解

90
00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:07,098
（小威）

91
00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:13,104
來啊，霸子，飆我吧

92
00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:16,232
最好不要

93
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,987
他在侮辱我們兩個耶

94
00:05:23,364 --> 00:05:24,407
衝啊

95
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,506
好極了，完全沒尿漬

96
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:42,175
西摩爾，你治校有方

97
00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:46,137
俗話說得好，長官，無風不起浪

98
00:05:46,387 --> 00:05:47,472
好怪的評論

99
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:51,225
那好像是五毛錢，我要彎腰撿起來

100
00:05:54,103 --> 00:05:57,273
好像卡在這兩朵花中間

101
00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:05,198
西摩爾，我本來想提拔你

102
00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:06,908
來當副局長

103
00:06:07,116 --> 00:06:09,869
現在好康要給何洛威了

104
00:06:09,952 --> 00:06:11,204
不，但，長官，他是個醉鬼

105
00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:13,122
-還是個嗑藥的
-要是我可以…

106
00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:17,126
別吵，打菜阿姨為何變護士了？

107
00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:20,630
-這樣就能賺兩份工資
-可惡

108
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:24,133
這次沒留校察看了，辛普森

109
00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:25,843
你玩完了

110
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:28,888
你將從春田小學退學

111
00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:40,983
今晚的《我春田，我驕傲》

112
00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:43,236
《綠野仙蹤》裡的小矮人

113
00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,113
他們哪去了？

114
00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:50,076
我們將探訪動物天體營

115
00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:55,123
但先來看看本地的節日活動
這節日被一群鄉巴佬…

116
00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:56,874
批評為沒品又幼稚

117
00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:58,501
亂棒打蛇節

118
00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:00,586
哦，不要…

119
00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:02,130
這傳統節日的由來
要追溯到創市先祖…

120
00:07:02,213 --> 00:07:03,256
（檔案影片）

121
00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:06,342
傑迪代亞斯普林菲爾德
每年5月10日，本地居民們…

122
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:10,471
都會把蛇趕到市中心
再亂棒打爆牠們

123
00:07:16,727 --> 00:07:20,690
在揭發阿爾傑希斯後
榮譽遊行大禮官理查尼克森

124
00:07:20,898 --> 00:07:22,984
又來追擊要命蛇類

125
00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:30,324
亂棒打蛇節結束了？

126
00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:35,079
感謝，感謝出來

127
00:07:36,914 --> 00:07:38,499
那也太野蠻了

128
00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:40,334
小朋友，學校還好嗎？

129
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,587
我學會了一英錢重多少打蘭

130
00:07:42,753 --> 00:07:44,881
-我被退學了
-好兒子

131
00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:48,759
啤酒，什麼？

132
00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:50,928
爸，我不需要學校

133
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:52,555
我可去當擦鞋童自力更生

134
00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:54,056
擦鞋嗎？大爺

135
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:57,518
我兒子不能成為19世紀
倫敦佬擦鞋童

136
00:07:57,810 --> 00:07:59,937
我們要幫你再找間學校

137
00:08:00,062 --> 00:08:04,275
（春田教會學校
我們讓正統基督教教義好好玩）

138
00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:07,862
記住，霸子，這是教會學校

139
00:08:07,945 --> 00:08:10,114
在這裡必須謹言慎行

140
00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:11,282
沒問題啦

141
00:08:11,407 --> 00:08:13,534
霸子，你是新來的

142
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,995
也許你能幫我們更瞭解《詩篇》

143
00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:20,041
“豆類…音樂水果”如何？

144
00:08:20,291 --> 00:08:24,670
豆類是以色列人主食，好，繼續

145
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:27,757
豆類…音樂水果

146
00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:29,550
吃越多，放越多

147
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:38,851
別直視他，孩子們，惡魔可能會變身

148
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:44,106
應該沒戲唱了，我就是不受教

149
00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:49,695
我永遠可找到試吃
危險食品添加劑的工作

150
00:08:50,738 --> 00:08:53,157
我們想請你喝喝看新款健康可樂

151
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:54,992
我們稱之為“天然好物”

152
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:57,745
-裡面有什麼？
-24豪為癬霧質

153
00:08:57,870 --> 00:09:04,752
（天然好物）

154
00:09:08,422 --> 00:09:09,757
炫啦

155
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:12,343
喝了開心，變成怪物

156
00:09:13,844 --> 00:09:15,137
酷

157
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:19,183
你會受教育的，我親自教你

158
00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:20,726
美枝，太遲了

159
00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:22,436
那小子都十歲了

160
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:25,481
我們集中心力在花枝和另一個吧

161
00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:27,024
你有什麼問題？

162
00:09:27,191 --> 00:09:28,734
亂棒打蛇節快到了

163
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,153
一年中最棒的日子

164
00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:33,322
但殺蛇是邪惡的

165
00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:37,535
也許吧，花枝
但那算是我們人類天性

166
00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:40,621
每個人內心的善惡常在天人交戰

167
00:09:40,705 --> 00:09:42,206
那是無解的

168
00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:44,417
安息吧，善荷馬

169
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:47,712
我是惡荷馬…

170
00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:51,549
我是惡荷馬…

171
00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:58,055
祝上學愉快哦，花枝

172
00:09:58,347 --> 00:10:00,600
我會努力因禍得福的

173
00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:06,689
霸子，換衣服上學了

174
00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:09,066
鈴聲響起時，希望你已就座

175
00:10:12,361 --> 00:10:13,696
我買了上下課鈴哦

176
00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:23,998
還是拔了插頭吧

177
00:10:24,373 --> 00:10:26,917
（辛普森老師）

178
00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:30,588
我是你的新老師，辛普森老師

179
00:10:39,847 --> 00:10:42,016
（名詞、動詞、副詞，狗狗有跳蚤）

180
00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:49,231
不是我

181
00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:56,906
對了，我請來了客座講師

182
00:10:58,032 --> 00:10:59,533
哈囉，同學們好

183
00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:04,413
我們空降在杜塞爾道夫後
我跟弟兄們失敗了

184
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:13,714
我就假扮德國夜總會歌手混過戰爭

185
00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:17,635
回家來吧，法蘭西布勞德

186
00:11:17,802 --> 00:11:19,929
回家來吧

187
00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:33,401
那是真人真事嗎？

188
00:11:33,734 --> 00:11:34,860
大部分啦

189
00:11:35,152 --> 00:11:37,697
我在40年代是穿了洋裝一陣子

190
00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:39,949
設計師款的耶

191
00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:47,206
看我買到什麼，美枝

192
00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:48,541
（蛇）

193
00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:49,959
全新打蛇棒

194
00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:51,836
我打

195
00:11:52,586 --> 00:11:53,713
失陪了

196
00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:55,756
我打…

197
00:11:58,259 --> 00:12:01,220
霸子，我要你唸這本《自由戰士》

198
00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:02,930
這是我小時候看得書

199
00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:04,181
書咧？

200
00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:06,058
你可能會喜歡的

201
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,394
主題在講有個男孩去參戰

202
00:12:08,644 --> 00:12:10,521
他的手因為意外而變形了

203
00:12:10,646 --> 00:12:12,773
變形了？你怎麼不早說？

204
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:16,068
書名應該要叫《變形戰士》

205
00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:18,529
互咬、打架…

206
00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:20,281
《癢癢鼠與抓抓貓》

207
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:21,449
《癢癢鼠與抓抓貓》

208
00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:23,492
客串導演，奧立佛史東

209
00:12:29,915 --> 00:12:31,375
-天哪
-奪他的槍

210
00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:34,086
《癢癢鼠與抓抓貓》

211
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:37,715
千百人會喪命
但他們的奮戰目標永世流傳

212
00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:40,009
人們可以挺身而出

213
00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:42,052
哇

214
00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:44,597
如果你想進一步瞭解…

215
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:48,517
殖民時期
我們可去參觀春田老街吧

216
00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:54,106
可惡

217
00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:13,709
爸…

218
00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:16,837
大家都喜歡亂棒打蛇節，我恨它

219
00:13:17,004 --> 00:13:18,589
我有什麼毛病嗎？

220
00:13:18,714 --> 00:13:19,924
對啊，蜜糖

221
00:13:20,257 --> 00:13:21,675
我該怎麼辦？

222
00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:24,845
把你的憤怒一點一滴地
擠進小小苦球裡

223
00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:27,181
在適當時候釋放出來

224
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:29,975
像我用威士忌酒瓶打裁判那天

225
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:31,519
-還記得吧？
-記得

226
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,103
爹地打裁判那時候？

227
00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:34,313
對…

228
00:13:34,396 --> 00:13:35,731
（春田老街）

229
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:38,359
（誠徵，傻村民）

230
00:13:40,444 --> 00:13:41,695
有何經歷？

231
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:45,407
有的，我在《海神號》演過笨蛋二

232
00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:49,370
抱歉，我們要的是阿達那種傻瓜

233
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,872
但…我明白

234
00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:56,877
哈囉，巴尼，你在演醉漢嗎？

235
00:13:57,002 --> 00:13:59,713
其實我應該演州長的

236
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:02,633
敵人包圍了堡壘

237
00:14:02,758 --> 00:14:04,718
還說只要交出上尉

238
00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:06,554
就饒了其他人

239
00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:08,848
-他們做了什麼？
-交出了他

240
00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:10,432
-他就被殺了？
-沒錯

241
00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:12,977
所以這裡才叫明哲保身堡

242
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,103
（明哲保身堡）

243
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:19,316
這是參加提康德羅加堡戰役的
傑迪代亞斯普林菲爾德

244
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:22,778
接下來，這是他的殺蛇英姿

245
00:14:22,903 --> 00:14:26,323
那天就是1775年
史上第一個亂棒打蛇節

246
00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:28,200
嘿，等一下下

247
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,370
那天他參加了提康德羅加堡戰役

248
00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:33,706
他怎可能同時出現在兩地？

249
00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:37,293
是這樣的…

250
00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:41,755
他會毀了一切

251
00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:43,799
-帶走他
-收到

252
00:14:45,843 --> 00:14:48,012
如果你想多瞭解亂棒打蛇節由來

253
00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:49,972
我們禮品店裡還有好多好棒的書

254
00:14:50,180 --> 00:14:53,100
歡迎光臨官方的亂棒打蛇節總部

255
00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:55,936
我在店裡某處藏了蛇

256
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:59,273
誰先打到牠，就有免費溼樂冰喝

257
00:15:00,190 --> 00:15:01,233
打到了

258
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:02,693
沒，只是香草糖條

259
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:04,069
在啤酒塔旁邊

260
00:15:04,486 --> 00:15:05,362
嘿…

261
00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:06,363
（付現）

262
00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:09,575
我舉辦促銷活動應該要三思

263
00:15:09,825 --> 00:15:10,993
瞄準蛇身，兄弟們

264
00:15:11,201 --> 00:15:12,286
好，局長

265
00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:16,999
上帝就說…

266
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:20,544
打爆爬行在地的所有蛇類

267
00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:22,004
你們城鎮…

268
00:15:22,129 --> 00:15:24,465
就能成為他城典範

269
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:30,054
花枝，你看
連上帝都為亂棒打蛇節背書

270
00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:31,388
讓我看看

271
00:15:32,139 --> 00:15:33,182
不要

272
00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:38,520
（亂棒打蛇節快樂）

273
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:39,647
哦，亂棒打蛇節

274
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:41,649
哦，亂棒打蛇節

275
00:15:41,982 --> 00:15:46,320
神聖的打爆蛇頭日

276
00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:50,115
打斷牠們的背、挖出牠們的眼

277
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:54,036
猛刺牠們邪惡的心

278
00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:58,540
哦，亂棒打蛇節…

279
00:15:58,832 --> 00:16:04,463
願上帝賜你恩典

280
00:16:04,588 --> 00:16:05,631
（停車一毛錢）

281
00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:07,341
來喔，亂棒打蛇節官方停車場

282
00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:09,259
一排輪子十塊

283
00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:16,558
萬歲

284
00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:19,728
看棒，蛇

285
00:16:20,604 --> 00:16:21,772
還有你

286
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,774
蛇啊，到處都是蛇

287
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,526
準備過亂棒打蛇節了？

288
00:16:25,734 --> 00:16:27,069
什麼亂棒打蛇節？

289
00:16:31,031 --> 00:16:32,449
（市長）

290
00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:35,869
你有帶已被打爆的蛇來嗎？

291
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,081
漂亮

292
00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:46,296
美枝，我該慢打還是快打？

293
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:49,717
先慢再快

294
00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:56,223
爸，拜託，我最後一次求求你

295
00:16:56,306 --> 00:16:59,101
別讓你自己跟暴民一樣低劣

296
00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:02,146
花枝，也許我混入了暴民群

297
00:17:02,312 --> 00:17:04,690
就能指引他們恢復理智

298
00:17:04,815 --> 00:17:07,526
我的巨大泡棉牛仔帽跟空氣喇叭呢？

299
00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:15,701
歡迎為今年活動揭開序幕…

300
00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:17,369
我們的遊行大禮官

301
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:20,247
愛的先知，拉瑞懷特

302
00:17:20,372 --> 00:17:23,083
-貝瑞懷特
-錯，上面寫拉瑞懷特

303
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:24,626
我知道自己叫什麼

304
00:17:24,793 --> 00:17:26,503
是嗎？等著瞧

305
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:32,259
各位女士先生，我獻上無限的愛

306
00:17:32,801 --> 00:17:35,137
很榮幸來參加這場…

307
00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:38,140
嘿，這是什麼活動來著？

308
00:17:39,349 --> 00:17:41,435
-蛇
-天啊，不要

309
00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,270
你們讓我想吐

310
00:17:45,981 --> 00:17:47,566
他們有在聽我說話嗎？

311
00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:48,984
應該沒有

312
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:52,780
現在掌聲歡迎我們的春田小姐

313
00:17:53,989 --> 00:17:56,533
各位，開始亂棒打蛇啦

314
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,167
（合法商人俱樂部）

315
00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:11,715
不要

316
00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:16,637
（販酒店，24小時）

317
00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:17,721
有蟲

318
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,143
《亂棒打蛇節的真相》
包伯伍華德著

319
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:26,814
要是蛇在屋裡，我們就能保護牠們

320
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,565
根據書上說的

321
00:18:28,857 --> 00:18:31,693
蛇類的聽力來自感應地面震動

322
00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:34,780
只要把音響喇叭貼在地面

323
00:18:34,863 --> 00:18:36,490
播放重低音的曲子

324
00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:39,701
蛇就會像飛蛾撲火一樣爬進來了

325
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,246
好主意，我找找

326
00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:43,956
重低音…

327
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,625
太尼蒂姆、花栗鼠三重唱精選集…

328
00:18:46,708 --> 00:18:48,085
海豚音聖誕組曲

329
00:18:49,169 --> 00:18:51,463
你的愛讓我上癮，寶貝

330
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,343
懷特先生，借你一分鐘好嗎？

331
00:18:56,552 --> 00:18:58,887
願為女士服其勞

332
00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:03,100
不要擾蛇

333
00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:05,519
離所有的蛇…

334
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:07,020
遠遠的

335
00:19:08,605 --> 00:19:10,858
啊，耶

336
00:19:11,608 --> 00:19:13,402
哦，喔，寶貝

337
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:17,447
來啊

338
00:19:18,615 --> 00:19:20,534
親愛的，我…

339
00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:25,289
你的愛讓我上癮，寶貝

340
00:19:27,082 --> 00:19:29,751
女孩，我不知道為什麼…

341
00:19:30,961 --> 00:19:33,881
你的愛讓我上癮，寶貝

342
00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:38,468
我一直無法習以為常

343
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:41,430
再努力都沒用

344
00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:47,436
你給越多，我越想要

345
00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:50,314
寶貝，真心…

346
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,025
真心不騙

347
00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:55,611
跟我說，我能說什麼？

348
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:56,945
進來

349
00:19:57,154 --> 00:19:58,614
我能做什麼？

350
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,991
我要怎麼感覺…

351
00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:07,623
嘿，蛇都爬哪去了？

352
00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:17,966
春田市民們，亂棒打蛇節是個恥辱

353
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:21,553
它起始於1924年
為爆打愛爾蘭人所找的藉口

354
00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:24,681
真的，我被打得滿頭包

355
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:26,391
但是好好玩哦

356
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:27,935
等一下

357
00:20:28,143 --> 00:20:31,521
你們怎麼背叛
為你們貢獻良多的蛇？

358
00:20:31,813 --> 00:20:35,067
我是老人，什麼都恨
就只愛《虎父虎女》

359
00:20:35,192 --> 00:20:36,235
現在要演了

360
00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:39,613
葛立可太太
誰殺了你家地下室所有老鼠？

361
00:20:39,863 --> 00:20:41,073
蛇

362
00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:43,116
你喜歡蛇吧，貝瑞懷特？

363
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:46,536
我好愛母蛇的曼妙性感滑行

364
00:20:46,870 --> 00:20:48,205
哦，寶貝

365
00:20:48,455 --> 00:20:49,873
為蛇歡呼

366
00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:51,708
為蛇歡呼

367
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,461
大家看，12條死蛇

368
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:58,548
我恨透了你們

369
00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:00,550
一群善變的薄情傻蛋

370
00:21:01,218 --> 00:21:03,303
-他說得對
-給我們地獄，昆比

371
00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:07,266
（歡迎）

372
00:21:17,025 --> 00:21:18,568
霸子，我印象深刻

373
00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:20,779
你展現了獨立自學的成果

374
00:21:20,904 --> 00:21:23,156
-謝了，西摩爾
-好吧

375
00:21:23,365 --> 00:21:25,367
為了獎勵你的認真用功

376
00:21:25,492 --> 00:21:28,036
我決定歡迎你回我們學校

377
00:21:28,203 --> 00:21:31,290
你可以回去找你的兄弟們
尼爾森，吉保…

378
00:21:32,207 --> 00:21:33,250
老天啊

379
00:21:33,917 --> 00:21:37,421
我可能總愛利用暴力來討拍吧

380
00:21:37,671 --> 00:21:40,507
對…我也是

381
00:21:43,802 --> 00:21:45,137
再快點，小威…

382
00:21:45,262 --> 00:21:46,305
（越野單車）

383
00:21:46,388 --> 00:21:48,140
只要送他們單車，就不會挨告了

384
00:21:50,892 --> 00:21:52,060
萬一他們全死了呢，校長？

385
00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:56,315
我們就騎著越野單車去墨西哥
奔向自由，小威…

386
00:21:56,398 --> 00:21:57,399
自由

387
00:21:57,983 --> 00:22:00,027
才怪，我在第一個收費亭就舉發你