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♪ The Simpsons ♪
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(bell ringing)
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(tires screech)
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D'oh!
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-Aah!
-(tires screech)
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(jazzy scales)
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Lisa, will you
keep it down?
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I'm making a crank phone call
to Principal Skinner.
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Well, as a matter of fact,
my refrigerator wasn't running.
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You've spared me
quite a bit of spoilage.
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-Thank you, anonymous young man.
-D'oh!
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It's my room
and I can do what I want.
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Oh, yeah?
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Well, I can do what
I want in my room.
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(jazzy scales)
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(thumping)
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Bart, quit it!
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I can keep this up all day.
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(sighs)
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(saxophone playing)
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Lisa, stop the racket.
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I'm trying to fix
your mother's camera.
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Now, easy, easy...
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Hmm...
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I'm gonna need
a bigger drill.
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(sighs)
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My, these seas are
certainly heaving.
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Well, no more than your
bountiful bosom, milady.
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(giggling)
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Does that earring
mean you're a pirate?
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Kinda.
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Ah... The seas have quieted.
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And only in the sweet
embrace of quietude
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can two lovers truly be--
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-(saxophone playing)
-Ooh, such noise.
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Well, I'm done
for the evening.
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Ehh!
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Lisa, stop
blowing my sex...
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I mean, stop
blowing your sax.
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Your sax, stop it.
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Mom, I'm auditioning
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for first chair
in the school band.
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And I've got to practice.
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I'm sorry, but I sacrificed
a very expensive camera
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just to get some quiet time.
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Fine.
I'll play outside.
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Hey, why that sounds
like Gabriel's trumpet.
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You know that means, kids.
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BOTH:
Yay! Judgment day!
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45 seconds till pencils down.
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Lisa, what's the answer
to number seven?
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Sorry, Ralph.
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That would defeat
the purpose of testing
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as a means
of student evaluation.
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My cat's name
is Mittens.
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Three, two, one, and
that's pencils down.
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(all moaning)
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Now, here's an oral
extra credit question.
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What was
Christopher Columbus
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actually looking for
when he discovered America?
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Ooh, ooh!
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Anyone besides
Lisa for a change?
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Enh, enh, enh!
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MRS. HOOVER: Ralph, this better
not be about your cat.
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Oh, all right, Li--
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Columbus was looking
for a passage to India.
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Oh, correct, Allison.
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And on your very
first day in our class.
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And during a subsequent voyage,
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Columbus found what is now
the continent of South America.
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Yowee.
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I never made
Miss Hoover "yowee."
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Hi, Allison.
I'm Lisa Simpson.
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Oh, it's great
to finally meet someone
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who converses above
the normal eight-year-old level.
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Actually, I'm seven.
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I was just skipped ahead
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because I was getting bored
with the first grade.
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You're younger than me too?
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Are you hyperventilating?
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No. I just like
to smell my lunch.
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Gee, I never met anyone
who skipped a grade before.
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I'm surprised you
haven't been skipped.
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You're obviously
smart enough.
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Well, I'm sure I could have,
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but I'd hate to leave behind
all my wonderful friends.
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Out of the way,
brain queen.
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Ah!
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(chuckles)
Hey, Sarah.
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Well, I got to go.
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I have to practice
for band auditions.
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Me, too. Hey, what
instrument do you play?
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The sax.
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Me, too.
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I'm going for
first chair this year.
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Me, too.
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Wow, with so much
in common,
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I'm sure we'll be
the best of friends.
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Me, too.
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(half-heartedly)
Me, too.
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Hurry up and finish eating.
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You're steering fine, boy.
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Hard to the right!
Hard to the left!
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Cat! Deer! Old man!
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(screaming)
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Jackknifed sugar truck.
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(gasps) Sugar?
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Don't worry, buddy.
Here's a quarter.
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Call for help
at the nearest phone.
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I'll keep an eye
on things here.
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If only this sugar were
as sweet as you, sir.
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Homer, that was
downright decent of you.
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We hit the jackpot here!
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White gold, Texas tea...
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Sweetener.
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(grunting)
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Dad, isn't this stealing?
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Read your town charter, boy.
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"If foodstuff
should touch the ground,
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said foodstuff shall be turned
over to the village idiot."
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Since I don't see him around,
start shoveling.
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(stifled breathing)
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(sighs)
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-Mom?
-What? What?
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Why am I still rotting away
in the second grade
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instead of being skipped ahead?
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I don't know, honey.
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I guess that's the school's
decision to make.
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Well, did you ever talk
to anyone at the school?
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Make a few calls
on my behalf?
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Maybe you could have been "nicer"
to Principal Skinner,
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if you know
what I mean.
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Lisa... I am nice.
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Homer, I really appreciate
you making dinner,
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but this food tastes
a little strange.
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It hurts my teeth.
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That's because
I've loaded it with sugar!
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Marge, our ship has come in.
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I found 500 pounds of sugar--
in the forest--
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that I'm going to sell
directly to the consumer,
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and all for a low, low price
of one dollar per pound.
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But the grocery store sells
sugar for 35 cents a pound.
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And it doesn't have nails
and broken glass in it.
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Those are prizes.
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Ooh, a blasting cap.
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(horn playing)
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It's your turn, Jimbo.
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Ooh!
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Mmm, someone's been
practicing over the summer.
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Welcome aboard.
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Yes!
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-Ooh!
-Ow! My lute!
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Mm-hmm.
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Lisa Simpson trying
for first chair saxophone.
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(playing jazz)
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Mmm, very nice.
Now Allison Taylor,
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also trying for
first chair saxophone.
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(playing jazz)
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Oh! This is a very
tough decision, girls.
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You're both very good.
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(improvises solo)
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(applause)
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Well, I guess that
clinches that--
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(improvises solo)
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(applause)
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(playing in harmony)
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(group gasps)
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Oh! That was
a close one, Lisa,
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but you made it.
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I won first chair?
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No, you regained
consciousness.
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Allison got first chair.
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Ahh!
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(mumbles)
Oh, it was just a dream.
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Oh, that was
a close one, Lisa,
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but you made it.
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I won first chair?
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No, you regained
consciousness.
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Allison got first chair.
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And believe me,
this is not a dream!
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Ahh!
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I need help, Mom.
There's another girl at school
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who's smarter, younger, and
a better sax player than me.
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Ugh, I feel so average.
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Well, you'll always be
number one to me.
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Ahem! Hello!
Firstborn within earshot.
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-I meant my number one girl.
-(pacifier)
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Oh, for crying...
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Honey, if you get
too competitive,
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you'll never be happy.
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No matter how good you are,
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there's always going to be
someone better than you.
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I always thought I had
the tallest hair.
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But that trip to Graceland
really opened my eyes.
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But she's better than me
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at everything
that makes me special.
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Believe me, honey,
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she's more scared of you
than you are of her.
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-You're thinking of bears, Mom.
-Hmm.
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(doorbell ringing)
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Sugar man.
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Mmm.
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Door-to-door sugar?
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Well, marvelous idea.
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(distant shouting)
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What's that, Mother?
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(distant shouting)
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I'm just talking
to the sugar man.
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(distant shouting)
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Mother, I'm a big boy.
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00:09:00,748 --> 00:09:02,792
I can do as I wish.
Excuse me.
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00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:06,462
Thanks a lot, Simpson.
Now I'm grounded.
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00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:11,342
Hey, Allison, what's
the answer to number nine?
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00:09:11,425 --> 00:09:12,927
I can't tell
you, Ralph.
215
00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:15,137
I can't tell you
either, Ralph.
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00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:17,223
Leave me alone.
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00:09:17,306 --> 00:09:18,307
Brainiac!
218
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:19,517
Nerd!
219
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You geekazoid!
220
00:09:20,768 --> 00:09:21,686
Leave me alone!
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00:09:21,769 --> 00:09:22,645
(grunts)
222
00:09:24,605 --> 00:09:27,775
Ah, that used to be
my face in the mud.
223
00:09:27,858 --> 00:09:30,695
I can't stand to see you
so miserable, Lis.
224
00:09:30,778 --> 00:09:32,863
Unless it's from a rubber
spider down your dress.
225
00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:34,240
Ooh, that gives me an idea.
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00:09:34,323 --> 00:09:35,658
Note for later:
227
00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:37,910
Put rubber spider
down Lisa's dress.
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00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:39,078
(chuckling)
229
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,625
(chuckling)
230
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:48,796
Hey, I know.
How about if I dig up
231
00:09:48,879 --> 00:09:50,798
some dirt on Allison?
232
00:09:50,881 --> 00:09:53,217
Remember how I got Milhouse's picture
on "America's Most Wanted?"
233
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:56,178
There he is,
on the monkey bars.
234
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:57,972
Try to take him alive.
235
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(screaming)
236
00:09:59,056 --> 00:10:00,558
Oh, no! Not again!
237
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:03,936
(Milhouse shouts)
238
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:05,396
I appreciate the offer,
but it goes against
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00:10:05,479 --> 00:10:07,064
every moral fiber
in my body.
240
00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:09,984
Suit yourself.
If you change your mind, here is my card.
241
00:10:10,067 --> 00:10:11,068
I don't need a card.
242
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:12,361
You live in the
room next to me.
243
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:15,573
Note: Next year,
order fewer cards.
244
00:10:15,656 --> 00:10:17,658
And you didn't think
I'd make any money.
245
00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:20,536
I found a dollar while
I was waiting for the bus.
246
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,788
While you were out
"earning" that dollar,
247
00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:25,458
you lost $40 by
not going to work.
248
00:10:25,541 --> 00:10:27,585
The plant called and said
if you don't come in tomorrow,
249
00:10:27,668 --> 00:10:28,961
don't bother
coming in Monday.
250
00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:30,880
Woo-hoo!
A four-day weekend!
251
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(groans)
252
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Hey! I am above average.
253
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:41,015
So what if Allison's
ahead of me.
254
00:10:41,098 --> 00:10:44,143
There's no shame
in being second.
255
00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:47,146
MAN: And now, Avis Rent-a-car
is proud to present
256
00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:49,899
the second best band
in America.
257
00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:53,486
Will you welcome Garfunkel,
Messina, Oates and Lisa
258
00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:57,740
singing their number two hit
"Born to Runner-up."
259
00:10:57,823 --> 00:11:00,576
(incoherent rock music)
260
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:03,704
(booing)
261
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:06,207
Why would they come
to our concert just to boo us?
262
00:11:06,290 --> 00:11:08,000
Lis, I did some checking
on this Allison character,
263
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:10,628
and I know it's against
all your moral fibers--
264
00:11:10,711 --> 00:11:11,754
Give it to me.
265
00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:13,005
(chuckles)
266
00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:15,132
Hey, wait,
there's nothing bad here.
267
00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:17,218
Yep. She's clean as a bean.
268
00:11:17,301 --> 00:11:20,221
But I did tip off the feds
as to the whereabouts
269
00:11:20,304 --> 00:11:23,140
of our good friend Milhouse.
270
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:25,810
I'm telling you,
I didn't do anything.
271
00:11:25,893 --> 00:11:26,602
I don't care.
272
00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:30,106
(inhales)
273
00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:34,068
(yelling)
274
00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:36,487
Ouch! My glasses!
275
00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:42,076
Oh, I've got to stop
being so petty.
276
00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:45,037
I should be Allison's friend,
not her competitor.
277
00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:46,831
I mean...
278
00:11:46,914 --> 00:11:49,917
she is a wonderful person.
279
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,252
Way to go, Lis.
280
00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:53,087
I mean, why compete
with someone
281
00:11:53,170 --> 00:11:54,588
who's just gonna kick
your butt anyway?
282
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,091
I prefer my phrasing.
283
00:11:59,677 --> 00:12:01,220
It's great of you
to come over, Lisa.
284
00:12:01,303 --> 00:12:03,139
I really want us
to be friends.
285
00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:05,182
You're a wonderful person.
286
00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:07,727
Hi, Lisa, I'm Allison's father,
Professor Taylor.
287
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,520
I've heard great things
about you.
288
00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:11,355
Oh, really? I...
289
00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:13,232
Well, don't be modest,
I'm glad we have someone
290
00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:15,276
who can join us
in our anagram games.
291
00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:17,236
We take proper names
and rearrange the letters
292
00:12:17,319 --> 00:12:19,196
to form a description
of that person.
293
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,615
Like, oh,
I don't know, uh...
294
00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:23,659
Alec Guinness.
295
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:24,994
Genuine class.
296
00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:26,662
Ho-ho, very good.
297
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:30,291
All right, Lisa. Um...
Jeremy Irons.
298
00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:35,796
Jeremy's Iron.
299
00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:38,174
Mm-hmm.
300
00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:41,927
Well, that's very good
for a first try.
301
00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:43,471
You know what?
302
00:12:43,554 --> 00:12:45,431
I have a ball.
303
00:12:45,514 --> 00:12:46,724
Perhaps you'd like
to bounce it.
304
00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:56,275
What's this?
305
00:12:56,358 --> 00:12:58,319
Oh, it's for the school
diorama competition.
306
00:12:58,402 --> 00:12:59,779
You're finished already?
307
00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:01,530
But the competition
isn't for weeks.
308
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:04,575
Lisa, we're talking dioramas.
Who could wait?
309
00:13:04,658 --> 00:13:07,286
I chose "The Tell-Tale Heart,"
by Edgar Allan Poe.
310
00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:10,122
See, this is the bedroom
where the old man was murdered,
311
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:13,542
and he's buried here
under the floorboards.
312
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,586
Oh, and look, I used
an old metronome
313
00:13:15,669 --> 00:13:20,007
to simulate the heartbeat
that drove the killer insane.
314
00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:22,343
(beating)
315
00:13:22,426 --> 00:13:23,761
Ha ha.
It's neat, huh?
316
00:13:23,844 --> 00:13:26,096
(chuckles nervously)
It's great.
317
00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:28,140
It's really great.
318
00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:30,684
Heh heh. Hmm.
319
00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:34,855
Oh, got away from you, huh?
320
00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:37,149
Well, you keep at it.
321
00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:50,996
Must... protect... sugar.
322
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,790
Thieves everywhere...
323
00:13:52,873 --> 00:13:55,292
The strong
must protect the sweet.
324
00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:57,753
The sweet...
325
00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,171
(snoring)
326
00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:00,756
Homer?
327
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:05,135
(Latin accent) In America,
first you get the sugar,
328
00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:10,724
then you get the power,
then you get the women.
329
00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:13,269
Homer!
Homer?
330
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:15,145
-Wha-what?
-I want you to forget
331
00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:16,564
about guarding
this stupid sugar.
332
00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:18,649
You're being
completely paranoid.
333
00:14:18,732 --> 00:14:20,067
Oh, am I?
334
00:14:20,150 --> 00:14:21,485
Am I really?
335
00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:22,486
Aha!
336
00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:23,529
Hello.
337
00:14:23,612 --> 00:14:25,573
All right, pal.
338
00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:26,866
Where'd you get
the sugar for that tea?
339
00:14:26,949 --> 00:14:28,951
I nicked it when you
let your guard down
340
00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:30,744
for that split second.
341
00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:33,330
And I'd do it again.
342
00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:34,456
Good-bye.
343
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:36,375
You see, Marge?
You see?
344
00:14:36,458 --> 00:14:37,376
Homer, when are you
going to give up
345
00:14:37,459 --> 00:14:39,003
this crazy sugar scheme?
346
00:14:39,086 --> 00:14:40,004
Never!
347
00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:41,547
Never, Marge.
348
00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:44,300
I can't live
the button-down life like you.
349
00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:45,426
I want it all.
350
00:14:45,509 --> 00:14:46,760
The terrifying lows,
351
00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:48,262
the dizzying highs,
352
00:14:48,345 --> 00:14:49,555
the creamy middles.
353
00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:53,267
Sure, I might offend
a few of the bluenoses
354
00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:55,394
with my cocky stride
and musky odors.
355
00:14:55,477 --> 00:14:59,899
Oh, I'll never be the darling
of the so-called city fathers,
356
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:02,568
who cluck their tongues,
stroke their beards,
357
00:15:02,651 --> 00:15:06,572
and talk about, "What's to be
done with this Homer Simpson?"
358
00:15:06,655 --> 00:15:09,491
Look, just get rid
of the sugar, okay?
359
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:10,993
No!
360
00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:12,578
(buzzing)
361
00:15:16,123 --> 00:15:17,291
(screams)
362
00:15:17,374 --> 00:15:19,084
Hey! Get off my sugar!
363
00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:20,628
Bad bees! Bad!
364
00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:23,464
Ow!
Ow!!
365
00:15:23,547 --> 00:15:25,841
Oh, they're defending
themselves somehow.
366
00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:29,845
Look, Bart.
It almost killed me.
367
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:32,306
But I handcrafted
all 75 characters
368
00:15:32,389 --> 00:15:33,807
from "Oliver Twist."
369
00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:36,518
And now-- The coup de grace,
370
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:39,229
a bitter snowstorm.
371
00:15:41,398 --> 00:15:43,317
-Mmm.
-Cool.
372
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:44,401
Uh-oh.
373
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:45,819
(crashing)
374
00:15:45,903 --> 00:15:47,279
Is it okay?
375
00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:51,951
Well, the important thing
is that we survived.
376
00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:53,911
Ah! Who am I kidding?
377
00:15:53,994 --> 00:15:56,497
There's no way I'm ever
gonna beat Allison.
378
00:15:56,580 --> 00:15:58,916
Oh, sure there is.
379
00:15:58,999 --> 00:16:02,503
But it involves being
a bit underhanded,
380
00:16:02,586 --> 00:16:06,382
a bit devious, a bit,
as the French say,
381
00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:07,800
Bartesque.
382
00:16:07,883 --> 00:16:09,510
I'll do whatever it takes.
383
00:16:09,593 --> 00:16:12,846
Then welcome to the
nether regions of the soul.
384
00:16:15,557 --> 00:16:17,518
Now, here's what we do.
385
00:16:17,601 --> 00:16:19,436
Tomorrow morning, when Allison
comes out of her house,
386
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,897
we spray her with the hose,
387
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:25,192
soaking her from head to toe,
leaving us relatively dry.
388
00:16:25,275 --> 00:16:26,777
Relatively?
389
00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:28,320
Well, there's bound to be
some splash-back.
390
00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:31,865
Bart, her being wet won't
help me win the competition.
391
00:16:31,949 --> 00:16:34,868
Well. We could just
sabotage her diorama,
392
00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:36,954
humiliating her in front
of the students and faculty.
393
00:16:37,037 --> 00:16:38,122
Perfect!
394
00:16:38,205 --> 00:16:39,915
Leaving her primed
for the most traumatic
395
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,667
hose-soaking of her life.
396
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:43,293
Enough with the hose!
397
00:16:45,754 --> 00:16:48,716
Well, it sure is quiet
in here today.
398
00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:52,386
Yes! A little too quiet
if you know what I mean.
399
00:16:52,469 --> 00:16:53,971
Hmm.
I'm afraid I don't.
400
00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:57,349
You see, bees usually make
a lot of noise.
401
00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:58,517
(loudly)
No noise...
402
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:00,352
suggests no bees.
403
00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:02,813
Oh, I understand now.
404
00:17:02,896 --> 00:17:04,106
Oh, look.
There goes one.
405
00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:05,107
To the Beemobile!
406
00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:06,775
You mean your Chevy?
407
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:08,152
Yes.
408
00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:10,362
Well, very clever, Simpson.
409
00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:12,322
Luring our bees
to your sugar pile,
410
00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:14,533
and then selling them back
to us at an inflated price.
411
00:17:14,616 --> 00:17:15,868
Bees are on the what now?
412
00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:18,787
Simpson, you diabolical...
413
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:22,332
We're willing to pay you
$2,000 for this swarm.
414
00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:23,667
Deal!
415
00:17:26,086 --> 00:17:27,337
Oh, wait a minute.
416
00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:28,380
The bees are leaving.
417
00:17:29,673 --> 00:17:31,008
No!
418
00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:33,677
My sugar is melting.
419
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:36,430
Melting! Oh, what a world.
420
00:17:37,931 --> 00:17:42,061
(sobbing)
The sugar's gone.
421
00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:43,729
I'm sorry, Homie.
422
00:17:43,812 --> 00:17:44,980
It's okay, Marge.
423
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,607
I've learned my lesson.
424
00:17:46,690 --> 00:17:50,277
A mountain of sugar
is too much for one man.
425
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:51,695
It's clear now why God
426
00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:54,448
portions it out
in those tiny packets,
427
00:17:54,531 --> 00:17:57,826
and why He lives on
a plantation in Hawaii.
428
00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:02,289
Ah, "Diorama-rama,"
My favorite school event,
429
00:18:02,372 --> 00:18:03,957
next to
"Hearing Test Thursday."
430
00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:05,292
"The Grapes of Wrath?"
431
00:18:05,375 --> 00:18:06,293
I don't get it.
432
00:18:06,376 --> 00:18:07,628
Here's the grapes.
433
00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:10,506
And here's the wrath.
434
00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:11,590
ALL:
Ew!
435
00:18:11,673 --> 00:18:12,633
Ha-ha!
436
00:18:12,716 --> 00:18:14,468
Yes, yes, very good wrath.
437
00:18:14,551 --> 00:18:17,471
Ah, let's see, our foreign
exchange student Üter
438
00:18:17,554 --> 00:18:21,225
has chosen "Charlie
and the Chocolate Factory."
439
00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:22,601
I...
440
00:18:22,684 --> 00:18:24,561
But this is just an empty box.
441
00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:27,856
I begged you
to look at mine first.
442
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:29,024
I begged you.
443
00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:31,235
Lisa.
444
00:18:31,318 --> 00:18:32,820
Here is,
as the French say,
445
00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:34,696
le fake diorama.
446
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:37,324
I'll create a diversion,
and you make the switch.
447
00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:39,493
Hey, everybody!
448
00:18:39,576 --> 00:18:40,577
Whoa! Look at me.
449
00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:41,870
I'm over here.
450
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:44,039
Turn this way right now!
451
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,582
Hey, it's Bart.
452
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:47,709
And he's doing stuff.
453
00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:49,044
(talking and shouting)
454
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:54,508
SKINNER:
Bart, stop creating
455
00:18:54,591 --> 00:18:56,385
a diversion
and get out of here.
456
00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:57,594
(crowing)
457
00:19:00,430 --> 00:19:03,308
Okay, our next entry is
"The Tell-Tale Heart"
458
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:04,893
from Allison Taylor.
459
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,145
Mmm, I can't wait
to see this.
460
00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:07,104
Be ready with the ribbon.
461
00:19:08,605 --> 00:19:10,023
ALL:
Eww...
462
00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:11,817
-Ew.
-What is it?
463
00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:13,610
(disguised voice)
It's a cow's heart.
464
00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:16,905
They're trying to make
a monkey out of you.
465
00:19:18,198 --> 00:19:19,616
Allison, is this
supposed to be
466
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:20,868
some kind of joke?
467
00:19:20,951 --> 00:19:23,954
I didn't do that.
468
00:19:24,037 --> 00:19:25,497
I made a different one.
469
00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:26,915
Oh, is that so, young lady?
470
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:29,209
Well, where is
this phantom diorama?
471
00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:31,670
I--I don't know.
472
00:19:31,753 --> 00:19:35,549
(heart beating)
473
00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:40,721
At least have the guts
to take the blame, girl.
474
00:19:40,804 --> 00:19:42,973
You're compounding
your folly by lying about it.
475
00:19:43,056 --> 00:19:44,892
-Right on.
-Young lady, cow hearts
476
00:19:44,975 --> 00:19:48,520
belong in a butcher's window,
not the classroom.
477
00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:50,939
Well, maybe in an older student's
biology classroom,
478
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,399
but that's
none of my business.
479
00:19:52,482 --> 00:19:54,276
Elementary school
is where I wound up,
480
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:55,986
and it's too late
to do anything about that.
481
00:19:56,945 --> 00:19:58,780
(exhales)
482
00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:00,240
Frankly, I'm starting to
regret skipping you ahead.
483
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:05,871
(heart beating)
484
00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:13,879
Ah!
485
00:20:13,962 --> 00:20:16,673
It's the beating
of that hideous heart!
486
00:20:18,967 --> 00:20:20,469
I mean, I think
I hear something.
487
00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:25,307
Why, here's Allison's
real diorama.
488
00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:28,727
It got misplaced,
or so it would seem.
489
00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:30,687
Oh, well, that changes
everything.
490
00:20:30,771 --> 00:20:32,481
Let's have a look.
Get the ribbon ready.
491
00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:34,691
-(ticking)
-Oh.
492
00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:39,196
A little sterile,
no real insight.
493
00:20:39,279 --> 00:20:40,739
What do you think,
Miss Hoover?
494
00:20:40,822 --> 00:20:41,698
Eh...
495
00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:43,784
Eh? Oh.
496
00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:45,744
This has been
a very disappointing day.
497
00:20:45,827 --> 00:20:47,913
All right,
on to Lisa Simpson.
498
00:20:47,996 --> 00:20:49,623
You're a shoo-in
now, Lis.
499
00:20:49,706 --> 00:20:52,251
After the way I've behaved,
I don't deserve to win.
500
00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:54,795
-Well, this doesn't deserve to win.
-What?
501
00:20:54,878 --> 00:20:56,797
Ooh, now we're
into the dregs.
502
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:58,799
Here's Ralph Wiggum's
entry.
503
00:20:58,882 --> 00:21:02,427
Prepackaged "Star Wars" characters
still in their display box?
504
00:21:02,511 --> 00:21:04,388
Are those the limited edition
action figures?
505
00:21:04,471 --> 00:21:05,973
What's a diorama?
506
00:21:06,056 --> 00:21:09,059
Why, it's Luke and Obi-wan
and my favorite, Chewie.
507
00:21:09,142 --> 00:21:10,769
They're all here!
508
00:21:10,852 --> 00:21:11,770
What do you think?
509
00:21:11,853 --> 00:21:12,771
I think it's lunchtime.
510
00:21:12,854 --> 00:21:15,065
We have a winner.
511
00:21:15,148 --> 00:21:18,694
(cheering)
512
00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:20,404
(bell ringing)
513
00:21:20,487 --> 00:21:23,699
I'm really sorry
about what I did, Allison.
514
00:21:23,782 --> 00:21:26,159
It's no shame
being second to you.
515
00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:27,786
Thank you, Lisa.
516
00:21:27,869 --> 00:21:30,247
You know, I'm actually
kind of glad I lost.
517
00:21:30,330 --> 00:21:33,667
Now I know losing isn't
the end of the world.
518
00:21:33,750 --> 00:21:36,044
Hey, you still think
we can be friends?
519
00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:38,130
Only if we're the best.
520
00:21:38,213 --> 00:21:41,675
(Ralph chanting) I beat the smart kids.
I beat the smart kid--
521
00:21:41,758 --> 00:21:44,469
Oh!
I bent my wookiee.
522
00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:46,305
Hey, Ralph, want to come
with me and Allison
523
00:21:46,388 --> 00:21:47,848
to play anagrams?
524
00:21:47,931 --> 00:21:49,641
We take proper names
and rearrange the letters
525
00:21:49,725 --> 00:21:51,852
to form a description
of that person.
526
00:21:51,935 --> 00:21:54,354
My cat's breath
smells like cat food.
527
00:22:04,573 --> 00:22:06,616
♪♪
528
00:22:49,785 --> 00:22:50,786
Shh.
529
00:22:54,414 --> 00:22:56,416
CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY
ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.