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辛普森一家
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不
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大家好 我是肯特·布拉克曼
欢迎收看《春田风情录》
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春田市
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杰迪代亚·斯普林菲尔德
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禁止进入
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故障待修
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库斯提汉堡
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快乐水手纹身店
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《春田风情录》
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今晚本笃会修士席卷春田市
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欢迎《饶舌拉比》
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吃了猪仔 等着被宰
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-碰不得
-碰不得
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-玛琦 我们是犹太教徒吗
-不是的 霍默
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-首先 我们都臭掉了
-我们都…
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全国调查指出
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春田市是美国最惹人厌的城市
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科学方面 众人唾弃
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世人们 地球绕着太阳转
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烧了他
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-太震撼了
-你们偷走了我的灵魂
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文化方面 恶名昭彰
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小丑库提斯巨献《夕阳西下》
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埃莉诺 我们得改善经济大萧条
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我建议…
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我都忘记我是小儿麻痹
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糟糕 春田市要被排挤了
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但能怎么办 我只是个小人物
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来召开市镇大会吧
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再不行动 就没观光客了
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没有观光客 我要怎么活
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追到明星家
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来买地图
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你好 你是德鲁·巴利摩尔吗
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什么 滚开 我昨天喝多了
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-打扰了 巴利摩尔小姐
-啥
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春田市政厅
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有人对振兴观光有想法吗
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我建议可以偷天换日
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把春田市
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改名为“春桃市”
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春桃市
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我人虽小但志气高
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请看我的简报
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这是卫星拍摄的春田市
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迷失荷兰人矿场位于这个屁谷
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孩子 这明明就是你的屁股
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孬种们再见
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我永远不会再用米尔豪斯
给我的溜之大吉术了
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抱歉 巴特
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我是玛琦·辛普森 我有个想法
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玛琦有话要说
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我过去的建议或许不受欢迎
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比如说换成公制
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公制就是邪门
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我的车加一桶汽油可以跑40杆
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老子喜欢这样算
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老头的话不入记录
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是谁说的
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我这次的提议可不一样
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我觉得我们应该办个影展 设些奖项
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我们可以自己拍片报名吗
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-太好了
-终于可以粉墨登场
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大家赞成办影展吗
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影展万岁 影展万岁
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大家赞成吗 可是我还有其他想法
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少得意忘形 少得意忘形
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开拍
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录像中
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大家好 我是巴特·辛普森
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之前曾经带来几部经典名作
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像是《霍默洗香香》《霍默蹲马桶》
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今天要带给各位《霍默不停蹄》
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标榜什么轻装上阵 烂裤子
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皮带没解开
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玛德 等等这样演出
把摩西宝宝放进篮子
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然后推到芦苇那边
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明白？灯光 镜头准备
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开麦啦
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救我
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法兰德斯求求天 求你显灵救托德
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-感谢老天
-没问题
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妈妈 你在做什么
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我要找影评来当影展评审
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你知道影评人有600百多人
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00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:17,025
但最帅的是里奥纳多·马尔丁吗
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欢迎收看《好片抢先看》
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我是主持人杰·谢尔曼 谢谢
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今晚我们来欣赏
查尔斯·布朗森的演出
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00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:27,410
请看《九死一生》
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活得真不耐烦了
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首先欢迎神秘嘉宾
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雷纳狼堡
主演影片《霹雳神鹰》
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杰 我的新片走动作喜剧路线
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名叫《霹雳神鹰飞高高》
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大家有发现男生不放马桶盖吗
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-笑话讲完了
-烂死了 霹雳神鹰
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接下来中枪的是伍迪·艾伦
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“我是神经质妹控”
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烂透了
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整部片都在看我
站砖墙前面一个半小时
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成本八千万
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你有办法摸着良心睡觉吗
105
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还有一手摸女人一手摸钞票
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随口问问
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我喜欢这个人 聪明又纤细
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而且他本身就不是走外貌协会的
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我耳根子都红了
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别往脸上贴金 老爸
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我耳根子真的红了
我只是想看里面 就把棉棒点火
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谢尔曼先生 仅代表春田市民
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诚挚邀请您担任敝市影展评审
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顺道欣赏敝市万种风情
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玛琦 这是痘痘还是烧伤
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稍等 霍默 你害我分心乱写了
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你一定会喜欢我们的宁静小镇
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盛情邀请 玛琦·辛普森敬上
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我真的得离开曼哈顿吗
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谢尔曼 我发现你是把我当笑话
你完蛋了
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傻蛋 你鞋带松了
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我从这里看没松 我仔细看看
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出租车 去机场
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出租车
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我这双明明是懒人鞋
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注意 纽约的航班已抵达
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你插队
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辛普森
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接机牌应该要写杰的名字 你写错了
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好像是
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好了 不
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-这样 不
-你好
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我是玛琦·辛普森 这是我老公霍默
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幸会 玛琦
我飞机差点擦过你头发
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你一定就是那个
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不知道自己长痘痘还是烧伤的家伙
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是小熊软糖
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接下来
《富林斯通一家遇到杰特森一家》
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又一个瞎凑合的卡通
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巴特·辛普森 这位是影评杰谢尔曼
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-你好
-你好 你的节目很棒
142
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我觉得非常儿童适宜
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我怎么可以口是心非
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我不知道问题在哪
我们的收益少了三成七
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先生 大概是因为我们形象不保
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民众在市调反应你是妖魔鬼怪
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我真该囚禁这些刁民 再扒层皮
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或许这个影展会有帮助
149
00:08:41,979 --> 00:08:44,565
可以用传记电影让大家认识真正的你
150
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气宇轩昂 档次高尚
151
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还有帅到掉渣
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但你提的传记影片不错
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用好莱坞电影的调调
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像是《豪情四海》或是《上班女郎》
包装我的肮脏野心
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-给我找来史蒂芬·斯皮尔伯格
-他没空
156
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:03,751
那就把他的墨西哥老弟找来
157
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听好了 赛诺尔·斯皮尔伯格
我想要你给我
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拍出像斯皮尔伯格
《奥斯卡·辛德勒》那样的大作
159
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听着 斯皮尔伯格
我可以说是那部电影的真人版
160
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我们都是老板 热衷救世济贫
161
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没人知道我的能耐 可恶
给我想办法拿到大奖
162
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霍默 最后一块猪排要留给客人吃
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人家还没吃饱
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谢尔曼 你拿过两次普利策奖
165
00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:49,839
我觉得没什么大不了的
166
00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:52,717
这里好热
167
00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:57,388
这是我拿的最佳人气奖
还有五个小金人
168
00:10:00,224 --> 00:10:01,601
我的艾美奖呢
169
00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:04,520
谢谢你
170
00:10:04,812 --> 00:10:08,232
这是我上班拿到的打嗝奖
171
00:10:11,736 --> 00:10:12,862
非常好 霍默
172
00:10:22,496 --> 00:10:25,791
拿到普利策奖都这么厉害吗
173
00:10:25,916 --> 00:10:27,335
就我跟尤多拉·韦尔蒂
174
00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:30,296
我也邀了我姐妹过来
175
00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:32,757
姐妹们 容我迎接
176
00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:39,847
然后我就跟伍迪·艾伦讲
177
00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:44,477
“加缪能做到 但萨特也不傻”
178
00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:47,688
-太经典了
-后劲十足
179
00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:51,484
这算什么 “冷生蚝 热生蚝”
180
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:54,654
“温生蚝问声好”
181
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:03,829
谢尔曼 你是圈内人
八卦一下 有谁是同志
182
00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:06,165
不好说 哈维·菲尔斯坦
183
00:11:06,248 --> 00:11:07,875
-不会吧
-还有谁
184
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,086
谢尔曼
185
00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:12,421
哦 迈克·基维尔是同志
186
00:11:19,136 --> 00:11:21,263
你说迈克·基维尔坏话 对吧
187
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:26,644
玛琦 你在做什么
188
00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:28,979
安排影展的评审名单
189
00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:31,732
昆比市长 库斯提 谢尔曼
190
00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:35,403
玛琦 你欣赏我的聪明才智吗
191
00:11:38,322 --> 00:11:41,909
-是的
-等等
192
00:11:41,992 --> 00:11:44,537
你为什么用那么久才回答
193
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,416
-没为什么
-好
194
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:52,086
不对 你在开我玩笑吗
195
00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:56,465
-对
-好
196
00:11:56,924 --> 00:11:58,759
你好 你坏坏
197
00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:02,138
我知道我不像那个影评家那么聪明
198
00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:05,599
但他知道奥斯卡·梅尔怎么唱吗
199
00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:09,937
“希望我是奥斯卡·梅尔”
200
00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:13,441
我真的希望那样
201
00:12:13,649 --> 00:12:17,278
“如果我是奥斯卡·梅尔”
202
00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:24,285
“每个人都会爱上我”
203
00:12:28,789 --> 00:12:31,625
我投降 玛琦 他唱得真好
204
00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:33,627
不阻止你 去跟他睡吧
205
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:37,047
我只需要一缕秀发来纪念你
206
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:41,802
-我们只有彼此了
-没必要自暴自弃
207
00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:44,764
-你觉得我是傻子吗
-不是
208
00:12:44,972 --> 00:12:47,558
那就证明你的爱 把我安排进评审
209
00:12:47,808 --> 00:12:49,894
好吧 如你所愿
210
00:12:51,645 --> 00:12:54,315
昆比市长 库斯提 杰·谢尔曼
马丁·斯科塞斯
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00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,275
霍默
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00:12:56,859 --> 00:12:59,528
先生 现在要试镜的是饰演你的演员
213
00:12:59,695 --> 00:13:00,905
好极了
214
00:13:03,699 --> 00:13:04,742
好极了
215
00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:08,537
-下一位
-好极了
216
00:13:08,704 --> 00:13:13,042
-下一位
-好…不
217
00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:15,544
-下一位
-好极了
218
00:13:15,711 --> 00:13:16,796
我的天啊
219
00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:18,130
没救了
220
00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:19,924
我亲自上阵
221
00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:22,968
春田市金菊奖影展
222
00:13:23,093 --> 00:13:26,764
我以为今晚演出的是《玫瑰蜘蛛网》
223
00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:32,394
打头阵的是印度导演
阿普·纳哈萨皮马佩蒂隆
224
00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:34,188
《明亮的灯光 牛肉干》
225
00:13:36,148 --> 00:13:37,650
警察 救人啊
226
00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:39,819
我都自身难保了
227
00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:42,822
老天 百尺竿头 一直退步
228
00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:44,573
剧终
229
00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:49,203
下一位 是酒保老莫的
《老莫啤酒好》
230
00:13:50,412 --> 00:13:54,542
灌下去灌下去不要漏气
跳下去跳下去大家欢喜
231
00:13:54,708 --> 00:13:58,462
手捧一杯断片的酒
要来祝福你
232
00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:01,632
我的背
233
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:06,512
汉斯·摩尔曼先生制作公司巨献
234
00:14:06,595 --> 00:14:10,307
《被球击中的男人》
235
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:21,068
赢家出炉了 给那个人一万美金
236
00:14:21,318 --> 00:14:24,154
这里不是《美国家庭滑稽录像》
237
00:14:24,321 --> 00:14:26,907
可是那个球…他的大腿根啊
238
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:30,286
真的太有深度了
239
00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:33,038
再放一次
240
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:35,332
下一部要放我的影片了
241
00:14:35,457 --> 00:14:38,419
-你有拍片？
-我有拍片？
242
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:41,088
难怪我是《每周娱乐》封面人物
243
00:14:41,463 --> 00:14:43,632
达夫啤酒
244
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:53,225
我叫巴尼·冈布尔
40岁 单身 爱喝酒
245
00:15:01,942 --> 00:15:04,653
《奥赛罗》里面有句名言
246
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:09,199
“三杯下肚 智者变蠢
多喝一杯 在地上滚”
247
00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:11,118
大概就是这样
248
00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:21,086
令人激赏 一针见血却又抚慰人心
很有诗意
249
00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:22,671
你人真好
250
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,507
不好意思
是有什么东西死在你嘴里吗
251
00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:26,800
那东西没死呀
252
00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:29,511
我叫巴尼 我有酒瘾
253
00:15:29,678 --> 00:15:31,889
冈布尔先生
我们在开女童军会议
254
00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:36,060
是吗 还是你们不敢面对自己的问题
255
00:15:42,399 --> 00:15:45,819
别为我哭泣 我已随风而逝
256
00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:54,912
剧终
257
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:00,417
赢家出炉了
258
00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:03,045
-我错过了什么
-霍默 认真点
259
00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:04,838
还有压轴
260
00:16:05,005 --> 00:16:07,049
《救星伯恩斯》
261
00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:08,842
蒙哥马利·伯恩斯饰演他自己
262
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,386
还有蜜蜂男
263
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:12,179
汤米·图恩特别出演斯密瑟斯
264
00:16:14,848 --> 00:16:16,392
斯皮尔伯格执导
265
00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:19,061
我向各位愚民保证
266
00:16:19,269 --> 00:16:22,523
我会关闭美国工厂
为此地带来繁荣景象
267
00:16:22,606 --> 00:16:24,066
伯恩斯老大万岁
268
00:16:24,191 --> 00:16:25,943
万岁
269
00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:35,536
我们拍了20次 终于拍出理想一幕
270
00:16:35,869 --> 00:16:38,831
别忘了 艾略特 我就在你心里
271
00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:52,928
-自大狂
-看你吹牛皮
272
00:16:53,053 --> 00:16:56,515
我才不管他们说什么 我会赢得大奖
273
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,737
喝下去 犹太人的王
274
00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:15,701
不愧是万王之王
275
00:17:17,161 --> 00:17:18,245
好极了
276
00:17:19,621 --> 00:17:20,998
剧终
277
00:17:21,498 --> 00:17:24,293
-太差劲了
-斯密瑟斯 他们在说我差劲吗
278
00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:28,756
不是 他们在说"棒啊 棒啊"
279
00:17:28,922 --> 00:17:31,925
你们在说“差劲”还是“棒啊”
280
00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:33,802
-差劲
-差劲啊
281
00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:36,805
我是说“差劲棒”
282
00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:41,852
影展评审室
283
00:17:42,019 --> 00:17:44,396
是时候选出大奖了
284
00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:45,898
我要投给巴尼·冈布尔所执导
285
00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:50,235
赚人热泪却败在名字的影片
《雨中奇缘》
286
00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:53,030
-附议
-我要投给伯恩斯
287
00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:56,366
附议 赶快了事
我跟尤多拉·韦尔蒂有约
288
00:17:58,327 --> 00:17:59,703
马上好 尤拉多
289
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:06,627
好极了 买通评审的钱值回票价
290
00:18:06,835 --> 00:18:08,587
跟美国少女选美比赛的时候一样
291
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:09,797
无节制老头选美夺冠
292
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,882
你怎么可以投给伯恩斯
293
00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:15,969
只能说我深受不动产感动
294
00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:20,015
我把心里话扩音出来了 糟糕
295
00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:23,227
目前平手 霍默 就看你了
296
00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:26,021
我要投给《被球击中的男人》
297
00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:28,732
这场拉锯战看来要打很久了
298
00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:32,402
不如休息五分钟 大家沉淀一下
299
00:18:32,486 --> 00:18:36,365
好主意 玛琦
我脑子快转不过来了
300
00:18:40,577 --> 00:18:41,870
我就知道会这样
301
00:18:41,995 --> 00:18:44,957
把你内定进评审团
结果你投给最瞎的影片
302
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,167
我坐上评审席理所当然
303
00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:50,129
即使我是用潜规则潜进去的
304
00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:52,798
我好像很常听到
雷克斯·里德讲这句话
305
00:18:52,923 --> 00:18:54,883
现在换你挖苦我了
306
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:56,760
霍默 我不会挖苦你
307
00:18:56,844 --> 00:18:59,346
但人生中还有比看一个男人被球击中
308
00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:03,350
更值得重视的事情
309
00:19:05,352 --> 00:19:07,187
-霍默？
-玛琦
310
00:19:07,354 --> 00:19:09,606
我要做些正经事了
311
00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:12,151
质能守恒 微商函数
312
00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:15,112
巴尼的影片有灵魂
313
00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:18,240
但被球击中有被球击中的意境
314
00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:22,411
"别为我哭泣 我已随风而逝"
315
00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:25,622
我一定要戒酒
316
00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:27,166
-要啤酒吗
-来个十瓶
317
00:19:27,791 --> 00:19:29,585
现在我们要宣布赢家
318
00:19:29,710 --> 00:19:33,130
出类拔萃短片大奖
319
00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:37,301
得奖的是猫鼠大战
《四丧一喜》
320
00:19:37,384 --> 00:19:38,677
《四丧一喜》
321
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:44,474
炸药
322
00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:49,813
老人之家
323
00:19:59,781 --> 00:20:01,241
剧终
324
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:08,373
现在宣布 得奖的是
325
00:20:11,001 --> 00:20:12,502
巴尼·冈布尔
326
00:20:15,672 --> 00:20:16,673
不
327
00:20:17,674 --> 00:20:21,845
霍默宝贝 你投对了
找你当评审是对的
328
00:20:24,264 --> 00:20:29,019
你知道吗 玛琦
当评审没那么难
329
00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:32,022
我要向全世界分享一个礼物
330
00:20:32,147 --> 00:20:35,067
从今以后 巴尼·冈布尔重生了
331
00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:37,819
我要积极努力 保持头脑清晰
332
00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:41,114
恭喜巴尼 请收下大礼
333
00:20:41,281 --> 00:20:43,659
终生达夫啤酒喝到饱
334
00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:46,787
直接注射到我体内吧
335
00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:50,916
谢尔曼先生 再会了
336
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:53,794
未来我在我家歌剧院登场的时候
我会跟你联络
337
00:20:54,002 --> 00:20:57,547
-如果你想上我节目
-不用想了
338
00:20:57,631 --> 00:20:59,633
杰 我希望你可以跟纽约朋友说
339
00:20:59,716 --> 00:21:03,011
乡下地方的人并不庸俗
340
00:21:03,178 --> 00:21:05,347
玛琦你看 这是整人玩具
341
00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:07,683
可是傻蛋一定觉得这是啤酒点心
342
00:21:07,766 --> 00:21:08,809
啤酒点心
343
00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:10,018
啤酒点心
344
00:21:11,019 --> 00:21:14,022
-不
-这次影展很棒
345
00:21:14,147 --> 00:21:16,233
选出了最佳影片
346
00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:18,568
伯恩斯也学到了有钱不能为所欲为
347
00:21:18,986 --> 00:21:19,945
半年后
348
00:21:20,028 --> 00:21:21,196
奥斯卡 得奖的是
349
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:24,908
我胜券在握
整个演艺圈都被我买通了
350
00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:28,370
《被球击中的男人》乔治·斯科特
351
00:21:35,377 --> 00:21:36,586
我的蛋蛋啊
352
00:22:35,395 --> 00:22:37,397
字幕翻译：侯敏生