1 00:00:03,169 --> 00:00:06,006 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:16,933 --> 00:00:19,144 (bell rings) 3 00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:25,608 (work whistle blows) 4 00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:30,989 -(sucking) -(register beeping) 5 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:43,418 (jazzy solo) 6 00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:47,464 (tires screech) 7 00:00:53,678 --> 00:00:55,180 (tires screeching) 8 00:00:58,641 --> 00:00:59,893 (horn honks) 9 00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:02,270 (tires screech) 10 00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:07,734 -Aah! -(tires screech) 11 00:01:21,664 --> 00:01:25,543 Hey, kids, it's story time. 12 00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:30,048 I'm gonna tell you the story of Krusty's expensive new suit. 13 00:01:30,131 --> 00:01:32,217 His sexual harassment suit! 14 00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:33,218 (laughing) 15 00:01:33,301 --> 00:01:35,011 Oh, boy... 16 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,680 Anyway, as part of Krusty's plea bargain, 17 00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,557 he has a new court-ordered sidekick, 18 00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:41,684 Ms. No-means-no. 19 00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:44,312 Whoa, you're hot! 20 00:01:44,395 --> 00:01:46,064 Let's get some dinner after the show. 21 00:01:46,147 --> 00:01:47,816 (whistle blows) 22 00:01:47,899 --> 00:01:49,567 I have dinner with all my employees, 23 00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:51,027 right, Sideshow Mel? 24 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:52,987 We've never spoken outside of work. 25 00:01:53,071 --> 00:01:55,073 (laughs) 26 00:01:55,156 --> 00:01:56,282 Oh... 27 00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:57,867 I'm surprised he doesn't try 28 00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,828 to blame his problems on his Percodan addiction. 29 00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:02,080 It wasn't my fault. It was the Percodan. 30 00:02:02,163 --> 00:02:04,999 If you ask me, that stuff rots your brain. 31 00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:06,960 And now a word from our new sponsor. 32 00:02:07,043 --> 00:02:10,964 Percodan?! Aw, crap! 33 00:02:11,047 --> 00:02:13,258 Bart, are you ready for your history test? 34 00:02:13,341 --> 00:02:15,135 You bet, Mom. Ask me anything. 35 00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:18,012 Okay. Who was George Washington Carver? 36 00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:21,766 Um... the guy who chopped up George Washington? 37 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:23,685 Really? Wow. 38 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,866 Bart, you said you were going to study. 39 00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:39,993 (groaning) Oh, my stomach. 40 00:02:40,076 --> 00:02:42,078 You just don't want to take that test. 41 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,205 No, I mean it. It really hurts. 42 00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:46,082 Mom, I think he's serious. 43 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,334 Kids are so naive. 44 00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:49,752 Lisa, when you get to be our age, 45 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,129 you'll learn a few things. 46 00:02:51,212 --> 00:02:53,756 Like when a sign says, "Do not feed the bears," 47 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,593 man, you'd better not feed the bears. 48 00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:58,428 Now get to school, boy. 49 00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:00,138 (Bart groaning) 50 00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,433 Mrs. Krabappel, I can't take the test. 51 00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:04,893 I have a stomachache. 52 00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:08,897 Well, that's a lame excuse for an excuse. Ha! 53 00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:10,815 Look, if you ignore me and I die, 54 00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:12,400 you'll get in a lot of trouble. 55 00:03:12,483 --> 00:03:15,111 Read page six of the school charter. 56 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,113 "No teacher shall be held accountable 57 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,199 if Bart Simpson dies." 58 00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:22,368 We're also absolved if Milhouse gets eaten by the school snake. 59 00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:25,580 MILHOUSE: Hey, cool, there's a rabbit in here. 60 00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:30,001 Mrs. Krabappel, I'm done failing the test. 61 00:03:30,084 --> 00:03:32,295 Can I please go to the nurse? 62 00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:34,714 Gosh, Bart, maybe you really are in pain. 63 00:03:34,797 --> 00:03:36,841 Well, it would be cruel not to let you go. 64 00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:41,721 ♪♪ (humming "The Star-Spangled Banner") 65 00:03:41,804 --> 00:03:44,599 ♪♪ (humming "Stars and Stripes Forever") 66 00:03:48,436 --> 00:03:49,395 Now you may go. 67 00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:51,022 (groaning) 68 00:03:51,105 --> 00:03:52,398 Lunch lady Doris? 69 00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,609 -Why are you here? -Budget cuts. 70 00:03:54,692 --> 00:03:56,069 They've even got groundskeeper Willie 71 00:03:56,152 --> 00:03:57,779 teaching French. 72 00:03:57,862 --> 00:03:59,781 Bonjour, 73 00:03:59,864 --> 00:04:02,158 you cheese-eatin' surrender monkeys. 74 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,661 Look, my stomach really hurts. 75 00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:07,747 All I can give you are these chewable Prozac for kids. 76 00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:08,748 Your choice-- 77 00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:09,874 manic-depressive mouse 78 00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:12,293 or the bluebird of unhappiness. 79 00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:13,836 (groans) 80 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,338 Superintendent Chalmers, I'd like you to meet 81 00:04:15,421 --> 00:04:17,215 our new school nurse, lunch lady Doris. 82 00:04:17,298 --> 00:04:19,884 Yeah, nice to see you. Seymour, why is that student 83 00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:21,594 lying unconscious on the floor? 84 00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:24,180 Well, in many cases, the floor is the bes-- 85 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,808 Oh, look, here comes Lumpy, the school snake. 86 00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:29,060 CHILDREN: Help! Help! 87 00:04:29,143 --> 00:04:31,020 Oh, Lord. 88 00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:36,567 ♪♪ (dramatic theme music) 89 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:41,030 Don't worry, son. You'll be fine. 90 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:44,033 This boy's appendix is inflamed and about to burst, 91 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,744 which will make it easier to find once I get in there. 92 00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:49,414 (laughs) 93 00:04:49,497 --> 00:04:51,749 Man, these are primo seats. 94 00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:53,751 I could really go for a hot dog. 95 00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:55,878 Homer, this is an operation. 96 00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:56,921 Hot dogs! 97 00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:58,047 Get your hot dogs here! 98 00:04:58,131 --> 00:04:59,215 Whoo-hoo! 99 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:02,051 Okay, Bart, I will count to three, 100 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,137 and you will be sound asleep. 101 00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:07,015 One, two, three. 102 00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:08,766 Out like a light. 103 00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:10,310 Scalpel. 104 00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:11,352 (yells) 105 00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:12,895 Oopsie. 106 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:16,024 Maybe if I fiddle with these knobs. 107 00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:18,401 (sniffs) Hey, I smell gas. 108 00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:20,445 (sniffs) Pleasant gas. 109 00:05:20,528 --> 00:05:22,864 Night-night gas. 110 00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:28,161 How's my special little guy? 111 00:05:28,244 --> 00:05:30,997 How you feeling, big brother? 112 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,790 Oh, this is wonderful. 113 00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:33,833 You're alive. 114 00:05:33,916 --> 00:05:35,418 BART: No thanks to you, Homer. 115 00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:37,045 Why, you little--! 116 00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:40,089 (gasping) 117 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,591 Now, Homer, please. 118 00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:43,801 The boy's just had a very serious operation. 119 00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:45,011 Oh, right. 120 00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:48,056 Now, Bart, I found the culprit-- 121 00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:50,808 a jagged metal cereal "O." 122 00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:53,311 Wicked! I got this cool scar 123 00:05:53,394 --> 00:05:55,146 and I get to miss a week of school. 124 00:05:55,229 --> 00:05:56,397 (clamoring) 125 00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:59,108 Dr. Hibbert, can I have my appendix out? 126 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,152 -Yeah, me, too. -I want mine out first. 127 00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:03,112 (laughs) 128 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,989 Why not? Follow me, kids. 129 00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:07,116 Nurse, prep these children. 130 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,368 (cheering) 131 00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:10,578 I'm glad you're okay, Bart. 132 00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:15,041 ♪♪ (saxophone) 133 00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,091 (gasps) Bleeding Gums Murphy! 134 00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:24,759 Little Lisa, 135 00:06:24,842 --> 00:06:26,511 it's good to see ya again. 136 00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:28,513 It's been a long time. 137 00:06:28,596 --> 00:06:30,473 ♪♪ (saxophone) 138 00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:32,809 My friends call me Bleeding Gums. 139 00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:34,769 Eww! How'd you get a name like that? 140 00:06:34,852 --> 00:06:38,147 Well, let me put it this way-- You ever been to the dentist? 141 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,357 -Yeah. -Not me. 142 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:41,734 I suppose I should go to one, 143 00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:44,278 but I got enough pain in my life as it is. 144 00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:46,489 What are you here for? 145 00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:48,491 My brother just had his appendix out. 146 00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:49,867 Is he gonna be okay? 147 00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:52,078 Hello, I'm Dr. Cheeks. 148 00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:54,455 I'm doing my rounds, and I'm a little behind. 149 00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:56,624 He'll be fine. 150 00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:01,879 Lisa, I sure am glad you dropped by. 151 00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:03,631 You're the first visitor I've had. 152 00:07:03,714 --> 00:07:05,049 What about your family? 153 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,884 I don't really have a family. 154 00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:10,304 All I had was a little brother who grew up to become a doctor. 155 00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:12,932 He used to laugh at the most inappropriate times. 156 00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:14,809 (laughing) 157 00:07:14,892 --> 00:07:16,686 Hey, I've got an older brother that I'll never see. 158 00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:19,063 He's a jazz musician, or some such. 159 00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:20,606 Oh, well. Bye-bye. 160 00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:23,317 It must be awful to be all alone in the world. 161 00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:25,486 Well, I always had my music. 162 00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:28,406 I learned at the feet of Blind Willie Witherspoon. 163 00:07:30,616 --> 00:07:32,660 I've been playing jazz for 30 years, 164 00:07:32,743 --> 00:07:34,370 and I just can't make a go of it. 165 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,414 I want you to have my saxophone. 166 00:07:36,497 --> 00:07:39,459 This isn't a saxophone. It's an umbrella. 167 00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:41,711 So I've been playing an umbrella for 30 years? 168 00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:43,296 Why didn't anybody tell me? 169 00:07:43,379 --> 00:07:46,466 We all thought it was funny. 170 00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:48,384 That's not funny. 171 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:49,677 Then I got my big break. 172 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:51,512 I was on "Steve Allen's Tonight Show." 173 00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:56,350 (laughing) Now, a brilliant jazz musician 174 00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:59,353 who's inspired me to do some improv poetry. 175 00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:01,355 "Twinkle, twinkle, groovy cat, 176 00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:02,648 "how I wonder where you at. 177 00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,317 "I really love the way you cook. 178 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:05,610 Just like me when I wrote this book." 179 00:08:05,693 --> 00:08:07,278 "How To Make Love To Steve Allen." 180 00:08:07,361 --> 00:08:08,404 From the author of... 181 00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:12,658 ...and... 182 00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:15,036 (giggling) 183 00:08:15,119 --> 00:08:16,871 MURPHY: I cut my first and only album: 184 00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:18,623 "Sax on the Beach." 185 00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:23,211 But then I spent all my money on my $1,500-a-day habit. 186 00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:27,465 I'd like another Faberge egg, please? 187 00:08:27,548 --> 00:08:29,467 Sir, don't you think you've had enough? 188 00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:31,344 I'll tell you when I've had enough! 189 00:08:33,721 --> 00:08:35,598 LISA: When was the last time you worked? 190 00:08:35,681 --> 00:08:38,976 In '86, when I did a guest shot on "The Cosby Show." 191 00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:41,687 Hey, kids. 192 00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:44,232 Meet Grandpa Murphy. 193 00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:46,692 But we have three grandpas already. 194 00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:49,237 This one's a great jazz musician. 195 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,072 Oh, they all are. 196 00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:53,658 Uh-oh. You see, the kids-- 197 00:08:53,741 --> 00:08:55,785 they listen to the rap music 198 00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:58,246 which gives them the brain damage 199 00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:00,790 with their hippin' and their hoppin' 200 00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:02,625 and the bippin' and the boppin'. 201 00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:06,462 So they don't know what the jazz is all about. 202 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:09,757 You see, jazz is like a Jell-O pudding pop. 203 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,969 No. Actually, it's more like Kodak film. 204 00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:16,389 No. Actually, jazz is like the new Coke. 205 00:09:16,472 --> 00:09:18,349 It'll be around forever. 206 00:09:18,432 --> 00:09:19,559 (laughing) 207 00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:23,396 Wow! You've had some career. 208 00:09:23,479 --> 00:09:25,022 Although the moral seems to be 209 00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:27,441 that a lifetime of jazz leaves you sad and lonely. 210 00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:30,278 Well, before you came to visit, 211 00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:31,988 I would have agreed with you. 212 00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:35,950 This just in. 213 00:09:36,033 --> 00:09:37,994 Krusty The Clown staged a press conference today 214 00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:40,329 to defend himself against charges 215 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,706 that his products are unsafe, 216 00:09:41,789 --> 00:09:43,165 his theme park is a deathtrap 217 00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:44,875 and that he's marketing videos 218 00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:47,878 of Tonya Harding's wedding night. 219 00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:50,715 And I contend that those tourists were decapitated 220 00:09:50,798 --> 00:09:52,842 before they entered the Krustyland House of Knives. 221 00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:54,552 Next question. 222 00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:56,804 What about that little boy who got appendicitis 223 00:09:56,887 --> 00:09:59,473 from eating your cereal? 224 00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:01,684 To prove that this metal "O" is harmless, 225 00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:04,103 I will personally eat one. 226 00:10:04,186 --> 00:10:06,105 (munching) See, there's nothing-- 227 00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:09,817 (gagging and yelping) 228 00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:11,861 Ah, boy! 229 00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:14,280 This thing is shredding my insides! 230 00:10:14,363 --> 00:10:16,407 Uh, Krusty, that wasn't the metal one. 231 00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:18,326 That was a regular Krusty "O." 232 00:10:18,409 --> 00:10:19,702 It's poison. 233 00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:23,539 So, you all set for your recital? 234 00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:24,540 I sure am! 235 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:25,666 Look! 236 00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:26,709 I stopped brushing my teeth 237 00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:28,586 so I can play just like you. 238 00:10:28,669 --> 00:10:30,296 Aw. Lisa, honey, 239 00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:32,548 music comes from what's in your heart, 240 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,091 not what's on your teeth. 241 00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:35,760 Come on. Let's jam. 242 00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:37,678 ♪♪ 243 00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:41,557 ♪ Lift me, won't you lift me ♪ 244 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:45,853 ♪ Above the old routine? ♪ 245 00:10:45,936 --> 00:10:47,855 ♪ Make it nice ♪ 246 00:10:47,938 --> 00:10:50,149 ♪ Play it clean ♪ 247 00:10:50,232 --> 00:10:53,736 ♪ Jazzman ♪ 248 00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:57,698 ♪♪ 249 00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:05,414 ♪ When the jazzman's testifying ♪ 250 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:09,001 ♪ A faithless man believes ♪ 251 00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:13,631 ♪ We can sing you into paradise ♪ 252 00:11:13,714 --> 00:11:17,343 ♪ Or bring you to your knees ♪ 253 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:21,722 ♪ Jazzman ♪ 254 00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:25,935 ♪ Oh, jazzman ♪ 255 00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:28,062 ♪♪ 256 00:11:30,731 --> 00:11:34,026 Hey, Moe, what'll you give me for an A.A. chip? 257 00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:36,529 Barney, this is a five-minute chip. 258 00:11:36,612 --> 00:11:38,364 Eh. It's worth the Pabst. 259 00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:42,368 ♪♪ 260 00:11:42,451 --> 00:11:44,870 Baby, you are gonna knock 'em dead. 261 00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:46,038 (coughs) 262 00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:49,583 Here-- take this for luck. 263 00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:51,419 (gasps) Your sax! 264 00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:53,546 Thank you so much! 265 00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:02,263 Now, I have learned that most of the orchestra 266 00:12:02,346 --> 00:12:04,140 is having their appendixes removed. 267 00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:07,435 So, without further ado, I give you the remnants 268 00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:09,979 of the Springfield Elementary School orchestra. 269 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:12,314 On saxophone, Lisa Simpson. 270 00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:14,692 On triangle, Martin Prince, 271 00:12:14,775 --> 00:12:16,527 and with a flute up his nose, 272 00:12:16,610 --> 00:12:17,570 Ralph Wiggum. 273 00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:18,821 ♪♪ 274 00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:20,406 That's some nice flutin', boy. 275 00:12:20,489 --> 00:12:22,742 They will be playing "Stars And Stripes Forever," 276 00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:24,076 hopefully not forever. 277 00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:27,830 ♪♪ 278 00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:29,999 (murmuring and booing) 279 00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:31,000 This sucks! 280 00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:34,003 ♪♪ (jazzy version) 281 00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:42,553 (cheering) 282 00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:46,640 Hey, Bleeding Gums, I was great! 283 00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:48,309 And I owe it all to-- 284 00:12:48,392 --> 00:12:49,894 What happened to Mr. Murphy? 285 00:12:49,977 --> 00:12:51,896 I'm sorry. He passed away. 286 00:12:51,979 --> 00:12:54,815 (gasps) Oh... 287 00:12:55,983 --> 00:12:58,819 (sobbing) 288 00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:03,824 (sobbing) 289 00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:07,703 Lisa, honey, are you gonna be okay? 290 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,497 Bleeding Gums was my hero, 291 00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:11,999 and I never got to tell him how I felt. 292 00:13:12,082 --> 00:13:13,876 Oh, I'm sure he knew. 293 00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:16,504 And I'm sure that wherever he is now, he's happy. 294 00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:17,797 But he was the only person 295 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:20,841 who had the same love for music that I do. 296 00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:22,635 (sniffling) 297 00:13:22,718 --> 00:13:24,470 Thank you. 298 00:13:24,553 --> 00:13:27,139 Oh, Dad, why did he have to die? 299 00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:30,267 Well, it's like the time that your cat Snowball 300 00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:31,894 -got run over. -Uh-huh. 301 00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:33,270 -Remember, honey? -Yeah. 302 00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:34,855 What I'm saying is 303 00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:37,483 all we have to do is go down to the pound 304 00:13:37,566 --> 00:13:38,859 and get a new jazzman. 305 00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:41,362 (wailing) Oh, Dad! 306 00:13:41,445 --> 00:13:44,240 (sobbing) 307 00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:46,826 Oh. I blew it again. 308 00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:47,827 What? 309 00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:49,370 (sucking) 310 00:13:49,453 --> 00:13:50,788 Mmm. 311 00:13:50,871 --> 00:13:53,499 Hey, Lis, you still upset about that jazz guy? 312 00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:57,044 If it helps, I believe that after you die, 313 00:13:57,127 --> 00:13:59,171 you can come back as whatever you want. 314 00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:00,631 I'll be a butterfly. 315 00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:02,049 How come? 316 00:14:02,132 --> 00:14:06,303 Because... nobody ever suspects "the butterfly." 317 00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:07,346 (laughing maniacally) 318 00:14:09,139 --> 00:14:10,683 SKINNER: I didn't burn down the school. 319 00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:12,518 It was the butterfly, I tell you. 320 00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:13,936 The butterfly! 321 00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:16,272 He's crazy, boys. Get the Taser. 322 00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:19,066 (Bart laughing maniacally) 323 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,945 (chuckling) 324 00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:24,405 Maybe I need to talk to somebody 325 00:14:24,488 --> 00:14:26,740 with a little more age and wisdom. 326 00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:29,743 Death stalks you at every turn! 327 00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:31,787 -Grampa. -Well, it does. 328 00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,414 (yelping) 329 00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:35,541 There it is! Death! 330 00:14:35,624 --> 00:14:36,876 It's only Maggie. 331 00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:39,169 (laughing) Oh, yeah. 332 00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:40,713 You know, at my age, 333 00:14:40,796 --> 00:14:42,756 the mind starts playing tricks, so-- 334 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:44,800 (screams) Death! 335 00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,427 That's only the cat. 336 00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:47,678 Oh. 337 00:14:47,761 --> 00:14:49,430 Death! 338 00:14:49,513 --> 00:14:50,931 That's Maggie again, Grampa. 339 00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:52,474 Oh. Where were we? 340 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:53,809 Death! 341 00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:58,188 How come it won't stop hurting? 342 00:14:58,272 --> 00:15:00,190 Oh, Lisa, it's normal 343 00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:01,859 to be sad when a friend dies. 344 00:15:01,942 --> 00:15:04,153 And Bleeding Gums was a good friend to you. 345 00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:07,156 But nobody is really gone, as long as we remember them. 346 00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:10,284 Lisa, honey, if you really want to preserve his memory, 347 00:15:10,367 --> 00:15:12,119 I recommend getting a tattoo. 348 00:15:12,202 --> 00:15:14,580 It preserves the things you love. 349 00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:17,041 "Starland Vocal Band?!" 350 00:15:17,124 --> 00:15:18,208 They suck! 351 00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:20,210 Death! 352 00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:29,637 Isn't anybody gonna show up? 353 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,388 Well, Lisa, we've waited an hour. 354 00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:33,432 (clears throat) 355 00:15:33,515 --> 00:15:37,227 "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today 356 00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:40,314 to bid farewell to Blood and Guts Murphy." 357 00:15:40,397 --> 00:15:42,608 No! It was Bleeding Gums Murphy. 358 00:15:42,691 --> 00:15:45,194 Ugh! Anyway, "Bloody Gums Murphy 359 00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:46,862 was quite the sousaphone player--" 360 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:47,905 Saxophone! 361 00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:50,032 He was a jazz musician. 362 00:15:50,115 --> 00:15:51,200 You didn't know him! 363 00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:52,368 Nobody knew him! 364 00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:53,994 But he was a great man. 365 00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:55,579 And I won't rest 366 00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:57,039 until all of Springfield 367 00:15:57,122 --> 00:15:59,959 knows the name Bleeding Gums Murphy! 368 00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:02,878 And I won't rest until I've gotten a hot dog. 369 00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,546 Homer, this is a cemetery. 370 00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,674 Hot dogs! Get your hot dogs here! 371 00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:08,133 Whoo-hoo! 372 00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:10,970 What do you do? Follow my husband around? 373 00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:13,847 Lady, he's putting my kids through college. 374 00:16:17,267 --> 00:16:18,227 (doorbell rings) 375 00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:20,270 Good news, Bart. 376 00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:24,775 The Krusty-O Cereal Corp. has settled your case for $100,000, 377 00:16:24,858 --> 00:16:26,193 less, of course, my legal fees. 378 00:16:26,276 --> 00:16:27,903 What kind of legal fees? 379 00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:29,905 Well, for a case this complex, 380 00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:32,992 I had to assemble a crack team of lawyers: 381 00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:34,910 Ronald Shaporo, trial attorney. 382 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,453 Albert Dershman, who can hold 383 00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:38,330 three billiard balls in his mouth. 384 00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:40,040 How much of the hundred thou' do I get? 385 00:16:42,209 --> 00:16:44,253 Five hundred dollars? 386 00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:46,380 -Yes, well, uh-- -Cool! 387 00:16:46,463 --> 00:16:48,424 Glad you're happy. Let's roll. 388 00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:51,552 (tires screeching) 389 00:16:51,635 --> 00:16:54,847 I can't believe it. 500 bucks. 390 00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:57,182 Oh, just think what I can do with that money. 391 00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:01,353 $500 on red. 392 00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,190 The winner is black. 393 00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:08,318 Cool. 394 00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:10,654 Mom, I want to honor Bleeding Gums' memory, 395 00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:12,239 but I don't know where to start. 396 00:17:12,322 --> 00:17:14,616 Maybe you could get the local jazz station 397 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,535 to do a tribute to him, huh? 398 00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:19,329 Jazz. They just make it up as they go along. 399 00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:20,748 I could do that. 400 00:17:20,831 --> 00:17:23,292 (humming "Mary Had A Little Lamb") 401 00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:24,960 That's "Mary Had A Little Lamb." 402 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,295 Okay, then this. 403 00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:28,964 (humming "Mary Had A Little Lamb") 404 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,591 That's the same thing. You just replaced 405 00:17:30,674 --> 00:17:32,134 -"dees" with "doos." -D'oh! 406 00:17:32,217 --> 00:17:34,803 LISA: Hi. I have a request. 407 00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:35,888 I would like you to do a tribute 408 00:17:35,971 --> 00:17:37,222 to Bleeding Gums Murphy, please. 409 00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:38,515 Oh, I'd love to, little sister, 410 00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:39,933 but we don't have his album. 411 00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:41,268 What if I could find it? 412 00:17:41,351 --> 00:17:42,853 Well, I'd spin it for you, 413 00:17:42,936 --> 00:17:44,188 but, you know, ain't no one gonna hear it. 414 00:17:44,271 --> 00:17:46,273 Our broadcast range is only 23 feet, 415 00:17:46,356 --> 00:17:48,484 which makes us the most powerful jazz station 416 00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:49,902 in the entire U.S. of A. 417 00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:51,987 Gee, your station has a lot of problems. 418 00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:53,030 Tell me about it. 419 00:17:53,113 --> 00:17:54,823 Just look at our morning guy. 420 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:57,868 Hello. This is Mole Man in the morning. 421 00:17:57,951 --> 00:17:59,995 Good mole man to you. 422 00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:02,247 Today: Part four of our series 423 00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:06,543 of "The agonizing pain in which I live every day." 424 00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,465 $250?! 425 00:18:11,548 --> 00:18:13,175 But I need that album 426 00:18:13,258 --> 00:18:15,052 to honor the memory of Bleeding Gums Murphy. 427 00:18:15,135 --> 00:18:17,554 He's dead? Well, why didn't you say so? 428 00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:23,435 Oh... 429 00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:26,021 Where am I gonna get $500? 430 00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:27,189 (gasps) 431 00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:37,866 Now drive, Smithers, drive! 432 00:18:42,454 --> 00:18:44,289 Ohh. 433 00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:46,917 Excuse me, my good man, I have $500 to blow. 434 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,001 What have you got? 435 00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:50,295 Behold! The ultimate pog. 436 00:18:52,422 --> 00:18:53,382 I'll take it! 437 00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:05,602 (groans) 438 00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:08,856 Lisa, look what I've got. 439 00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:10,691 Ta-da! 440 00:19:10,774 --> 00:19:12,067 (gasps) 441 00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:14,611 Bart, I can't believe it, but why? 442 00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:16,029 When I said my stomach hurt, 443 00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:17,990 you were the only one who believed me. 444 00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:21,702 Oh, thank you, but $500? 445 00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:23,996 You'll never see that much money again. 446 00:19:24,079 --> 00:19:26,165 Oh, yeah? Take a look at this. 447 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:31,420 I got the album. 448 00:19:33,797 --> 00:19:35,549 Here. You can listen to it on this. 449 00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:39,511 (static crackling) 450 00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:41,513 I did the best I could, Bleeding Gums. 451 00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:48,437 (gasps) 452 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,189 ♪♪ (jazz on radio) 453 00:19:56,778 --> 00:19:59,656 ♪♪ 454 00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:06,538 WOMAN (on police radio): Attention, all units. 455 00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:08,540 Attention, all units. 456 00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:10,042 Poison gas cloud heading for-- 457 00:20:10,125 --> 00:20:11,043 (static crackling) 458 00:20:11,126 --> 00:20:13,462 ♪♪ (jazz) 459 00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:15,047 Ah, that's nice. 460 00:20:15,130 --> 00:20:16,715 Hey, it's getting cloudy. 461 00:20:16,798 --> 00:20:18,508 (coughing) 462 00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:20,469 Oh, boy. 463 00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:23,096 (horn blaring) 464 00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:26,058 ♪♪ (jazz continues) 465 00:20:31,271 --> 00:20:33,899 That was for you, Bleeding Gums. 466 00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:39,738 You've made an old jazzman happy, Lisa. 467 00:20:39,821 --> 00:20:41,740 You must avenge my death, Kimba-- 468 00:20:41,823 --> 00:20:43,951 I mean Simba. 469 00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:46,578 Luke, I am your father. 470 00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:48,330 This is CNN. 471 00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:49,957 Will you guys pipe down? 472 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,125 I'm saying good-bye to Lisa. 473 00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:54,169 ALL: We're sorry. 474 00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:56,213 I don't want you to go. 475 00:20:56,296 --> 00:20:59,132 Sorry, but I have to. Good-bye. 476 00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:01,093 (sobbing) Good-bye. 477 00:21:06,431 --> 00:21:08,058 Oh, what the heck? 478 00:21:08,141 --> 00:21:09,309 Once more from the top. 479 00:21:09,393 --> 00:21:10,811 Yay! 480 00:21:10,894 --> 00:21:13,522 ♪♪ ("Jazzman") 481 00:21:17,651 --> 00:21:21,488 ♪ When the jazzman's testifying ♪ 482 00:21:21,571 --> 00:21:25,659 ♪ A faithless man believes ♪ 483 00:21:25,742 --> 00:21:29,705 ♪ He can sing you into paradise ♪ 484 00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:34,584 ♪ Or bring you to your knees ♪ 485 00:21:34,668 --> 00:21:38,588 ♪ Jazzman ♪ 486 00:21:38,672 --> 00:21:41,800 ♪ Take my blues away ♪ 487 00:21:41,883 --> 00:21:46,471 ♪ Make my pain the same as yours ♪ 488 00:21:46,555 --> 00:21:50,684 ♪ With every change you play ♪ 489 00:21:50,767 --> 00:21:54,604 ♪ Jazzman ♪ 490 00:21:54,688 --> 00:21:58,692 ♪ Oh, jazzman ♪ 491 00:21:58,775 --> 00:22:01,653 ♪♪ 492 00:22:18,503 --> 00:22:20,505 LISA: One more time! 493 00:22:20,589 --> 00:22:22,007 BLEEDING GUMS: Oh, come on, Lisa. 494 00:22:22,090 --> 00:22:24,843 I got a date with Billie Holiday. 495 00:22:26,386 --> 00:22:27,804 Shh. 496 00:22:29,931 --> 00:22:32,809 CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.