1 00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:05,588 {\an8}♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:06,548 (chalk screeches) 3 00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:11,011 (bell rings) 4 00:00:12,554 --> 00:00:14,472 (work whistle blows) 5 00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:19,894 -(sucking) -(register beeping) 6 00:00:28,069 --> 00:00:32,407 (jazzy solo) 7 00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:33,742 (tires screech) 8 00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:36,995 D'oh! 9 00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:39,289 -Aah! -(tires screech) 10 00:00:55,346 --> 00:00:56,389 Hello, I'm Kent Brockman, 11 00:00:56,473 --> 00:01:00,185 and this is "Eye on Springfield." 12 00:01:00,268 --> 00:01:05,774 ♪♪ (rock and roll theme) 13 00:01:34,844 --> 00:01:36,805 Wow. Info-tainment. 14 00:01:36,888 --> 00:01:39,224 Tonight we salute the silver anniversary 15 00:01:39,307 --> 00:01:41,643 of The Great Springfield Tire Yard Fire, 16 00:01:41,726 --> 00:01:44,854 25 years and still burning strong. 17 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,190 We watch Springfield's oldest man 18 00:01:47,273 --> 00:01:49,484 {\an8}meet Springfield's fattest man. 19 00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:51,569 He's not so fat. 20 00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:54,280 And we visit with heavyweight champion Dredrick Tatum 21 00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:57,450 who reminisces about growing up in Springfield. 22 00:01:57,534 --> 00:01:58,701 That town was a dump. 23 00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:00,203 If you ever see me back there, 24 00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:02,205 you know I really (bleeped) up bad. 25 00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:04,874 But first, part seven of our eye-opening look 26 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,209 at the bikini. 27 00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:09,629 ♪♪ (rock instrumental) 28 00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:14,092 {\an8}Whoa-- T and A! 29 00:02:14,175 --> 00:02:15,844 {\an8}Bart, why are you still up? 30 00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:17,011 {\an8}Lisa's slumber party. 31 00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:18,429 {\an8}(girls giggling) 32 00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:20,515 {\an8}Who can sleep with those five evil hens 33 00:02:20,598 --> 00:02:22,433 {\an8}cackling and plotting against me? 34 00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:24,727 {\an8}Boy, they've got better things to talk about than you. 35 00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:26,229 Sheesh, what an ego. 36 00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:28,857 {\an8}Lisa, your brother is so gross. 37 00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:30,859 {\an8}You should smell his room. 38 00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:33,236 {\an8}(giggling) 39 00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:36,406 {\an8}Now remember, Wanda, whatever shape the wax takes 40 00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:38,741 {\an8}that's what your husband's job will be. 41 00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:43,371 {\an8}It's a mop. 42 00:02:43,454 --> 00:02:45,290 {\an8}My husband will be a janitor. 43 00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:47,458 {\an8}That looks like an Olympic torch to me. 44 00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:49,419 {\an8}Your husband could be an Olympic athlete 45 00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:51,880 {\an8}who will go on to have a great acting career. 46 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,135 It's a dustpan. 47 00:02:57,218 --> 00:02:59,596 The wax never lies. 48 00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:01,723 GIRL: Let's play Truth or Dare. 49 00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:04,142 ALL: Truth or Dare! Truth or Dare! 50 00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:05,852 I'll take... dare. 51 00:03:05,935 --> 00:03:07,812 I dare you to... 52 00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:08,813 kiss Lisa's brother. 53 00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:10,315 ALL: Eww!! 54 00:03:10,398 --> 00:03:13,943 (humming) 55 00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:17,030 What the--? 56 00:03:18,239 --> 00:03:19,782 Aaaaahh! 57 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,661 I'm telling Mom and Dad. 58 00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:24,829 -You're telling who? -BOTH: Mom and Dad. 59 00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:26,789 GIRLS: Jinx! 60 00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:29,959 (singsongy) Now you can't talk till somebody says your name. 61 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:32,045 (giggling) 62 00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:34,589 Coming up next: an elephant who never forgets... 63 00:03:34,672 --> 00:03:36,299 to brush! 64 00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:38,718 What is it, boy? 65 00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:40,053 (grunting) 66 00:03:40,136 --> 00:03:41,930 Is anything the matter, my son? 67 00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:43,223 Talk to me, young man. 68 00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:44,307 (grunts) 69 00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:48,686 Say your name? 70 00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,188 Why should I do that, my lad? 71 00:03:50,271 --> 00:03:52,941 Because I'm jinxed, damn it! Ow! 72 00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:54,234 What was that for? 73 00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:55,526 You spoke while you were jinxed 74 00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:56,819 so I get to punch you in the arm. 75 00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:59,405 Sorry, it's the law. 76 00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:00,531 (girls giggling) 77 00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:01,741 There he is. 78 00:04:01,824 --> 00:04:02,909 Let's give him a make-over. 79 00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:05,078 -Ahh! -Run for it, boy! 80 00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:08,414 ♪♪ 81 00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:09,707 (girls chattering) 82 00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:11,668 (grunting) 83 00:04:16,130 --> 00:04:17,090 (whirring) 84 00:04:20,718 --> 00:04:21,678 (whirring) 85 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:24,847 Aaaaahh! 86 00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:30,728 (gulps) 87 00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:31,980 Oof! 88 00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:36,192 Come here, Maggie. 89 00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:39,195 Huh?! 90 00:04:41,322 --> 00:04:43,241 That's it, I'm out of here. 91 00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:48,663 Hiya, Homer. 92 00:04:48,746 --> 00:04:49,831 (sighing) 93 00:04:49,914 --> 00:04:51,457 What's the matter, Moe? 94 00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:52,917 Oh, business is slow. 95 00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:55,128 People today are healthier and drinking less. 96 00:04:55,211 --> 00:04:57,130 You know, if it wasn't for the junior high school next door 97 00:04:57,213 --> 00:04:59,173 no one would even use the cigarette machine. 98 00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:00,800 Yeah, things are tough all over. 99 00:05:00,883 --> 00:05:03,594 Increased job satisfaction and family togetherness 100 00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:07,598 are poison for a purveyor of mind-numbing intoxicants like myself. 101 00:05:07,682 --> 00:05:09,309 -Can I get a beer? -Oh, yeah, sure. 102 00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:13,187 Oh, sorry. I forgot we're out of beer. 103 00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:14,439 -Aahh! -I know. 104 00:05:14,522 --> 00:05:16,524 I got behind on my beer payments. 105 00:05:16,607 --> 00:05:18,151 The distributor cut me off 106 00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:21,487 and I spent my last ten grand on the Love Tester. 107 00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:22,530 (slurping) 108 00:05:22,613 --> 00:05:24,282 You're too late, Homer. 109 00:05:24,365 --> 00:05:25,950 Barney sucked it dry. 110 00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:28,036 Cut his gums up pretty bad. 111 00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:29,412 Ohh! 112 00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:31,664 Take it easy, Homer. 113 00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:34,834 I learned how to make other drinks at Bartender school. 114 00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:37,837 Gin and... tonic? 115 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:39,088 Do they mix? 116 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,882 Hey, I know a good drink. 117 00:05:40,965 --> 00:05:43,051 Really hits the spot. 118 00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:44,927 I invented it myself. 119 00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:47,013 One night, Marge's beastly sisters 120 00:05:47,096 --> 00:05:50,224 were showing slides from their latest vacation. 121 00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:51,267 And this is Patty 122 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,061 trying to plug her leg razor 123 00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:56,147 into one of those ungodly Czechoslovakian outlets. 124 00:05:56,230 --> 00:05:59,108 As you can see, we never did get the hang of it. 125 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,610 Ay, caramba! 126 00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:02,904 As I stared up at that hairy yellow drumstick 127 00:06:02,987 --> 00:06:04,989 I knew I needed a drink. 128 00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:08,034 Patty, Selma, would you excuse me for a moment? 129 00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:11,287 If you're going for a beer, this is the last one. 130 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,330 D'oh! 131 00:06:12,413 --> 00:06:14,290 I decided to mix 132 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,250 the little bits that were left in every liquor bottle. 133 00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:18,169 In my haste, 134 00:06:18,252 --> 00:06:21,798 I had grabbed a bottle of the kids' cough syrup. 135 00:06:26,302 --> 00:06:29,222 It passed the first test-- 136 00:06:29,305 --> 00:06:31,808 I didn't go blind. 137 00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:34,894 They say everyone can float in the Dead Sea, 138 00:06:34,977 --> 00:06:37,230 but Selma sank right to the bottom. 139 00:06:39,690 --> 00:06:40,608 HOMER: Huh?! 140 00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:45,613 I don't know the scientific explanation 141 00:06:45,696 --> 00:06:47,698 but fire made it good. 142 00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:49,617 Sounds like one hell of a drink. 143 00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:51,244 What do you call it? 144 00:06:51,327 --> 00:06:52,620 A Flaming Homer. 145 00:06:52,703 --> 00:06:53,913 Okay. Why don't you make us up 146 00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:56,582 a couple of Flaming Homers? 147 00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,334 Hey, Moe, you got any cough syrup? 148 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,086 Let me check the lost and found. What do we got here? 149 00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:02,630 Bowie knife, troll doll... 150 00:07:02,713 --> 00:07:04,590 glass eye... 151 00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:05,591 (shattering) 152 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,552 Oh, here we are. 153 00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:17,645 It's not without it's charm. 154 00:07:17,728 --> 00:07:19,355 Try lighting it on fire. 155 00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:22,817 Hmm?! 156 00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:26,154 Wow! 157 00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:29,240 Homer, it's like there's a party in my mouth 158 00:07:29,323 --> 00:07:30,908 and everyone's invited. 159 00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:32,785 Hey, your Love Tester's busted. 160 00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:34,370 I want my nickel back. 161 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:35,913 (coughing) 162 00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:38,666 Hey, buddy, have one on the house. 163 00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:43,629 Hey, this drink is delicious 164 00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:45,131 and my phlegm feels looser. 165 00:07:45,214 --> 00:07:46,174 What do you call it? 166 00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:47,800 Well, it's called a Flaming-- 167 00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:49,760 Moe! It's called a Flaming Moe. 168 00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:51,053 That's right, a Flaming Moe. 169 00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:52,638 My name is Moe, and I invented it. 170 00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,515 That's why it's called a Flaming Moe. 171 00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:55,850 What? What are you looking at, Homer? 172 00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:57,310 It's a Flaming Moe. I'm Moe. 173 00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:03,316 -Oh! -Oh! 174 00:08:06,235 --> 00:08:08,112 -Hey, what's this? -A sneeze guard. 175 00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:09,113 (sneezes) 176 00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:12,283 Wow, it really works! 177 00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:14,410 Moe, I haven't seen the place this crowded 178 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:15,703 since the government cracked down on you 179 00:08:15,786 --> 00:08:17,330 for accepting food stamps. 180 00:08:17,413 --> 00:08:18,998 Do you think my drink has something to do with it? 181 00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:21,667 Who can say? It's probably a combination of things. 182 00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:24,337 Another pitcher of those amazing Flaming Moes. 183 00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:26,756 I hate this joint, but I love that drink. 184 00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:28,341 Ohhh. 185 00:08:28,424 --> 00:08:30,676 Barkeep, I couldn't help noticing your sign. 186 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,095 The one that says "Bartenders do it 'til you barf"? 187 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:35,348 No. Above that store-bought drollery. 188 00:08:35,431 --> 00:08:37,767 Oh, great. Why don't we fill out an application. 189 00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:40,895 I'll need your name, measurements, and turn-ons. 190 00:08:40,978 --> 00:08:43,147 You really expect me to tell you my measurements? 191 00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:44,774 You could, but I find this way 192 00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:47,318 is much more accurate, and fun. 193 00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:49,820 Ugh! What do you offer in the way of salary? 194 00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:51,280 Minimum wage and tips. 195 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,407 Of course, there are fringe benefits. 196 00:08:53,491 --> 00:08:54,575 Such as? 197 00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:57,370 An unforgettable weekend at Club Moe. 198 00:08:57,453 --> 00:08:59,914 I'd prefer to take my vacation someplace hot. 199 00:08:59,997 --> 00:09:02,500 -(all exclaiming) -(laughing) 200 00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:04,460 I like your moxie, kid. 201 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:05,878 You're hired. 202 00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:07,880 You shan't regret this. 203 00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:09,549 Me thinks I shan't. 204 00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:11,926 Pardon me, are you the genius behind the Flaming Moe? 205 00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:13,678 -Why yes, I-- -I'm your man. 206 00:09:13,761 --> 00:09:15,388 Uh-huh. My name's Harv Bannister. 207 00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:17,056 I work for Tipsy McStagger's 208 00:09:17,139 --> 00:09:18,599 Good Time Drinking and Eating Emporium. 209 00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:21,769 Oh, yeah? Hey, what's Mr. McStagger really like? 210 00:09:21,852 --> 00:09:23,521 Actually, there is no Tipsy McStagger. 211 00:09:23,604 --> 00:09:26,023 He's just a composite of other successful logos. 212 00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:27,525 Well, you tell him for me 213 00:09:27,608 --> 00:09:29,819 that he makes one great mozzarella stick. 214 00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:31,112 Yes, fine, I will. 215 00:09:31,195 --> 00:09:33,155 Anyway, I've got a proposition for you. 216 00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:34,907 Keep talking. 217 00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:36,325 We feel your Flaming Moe 218 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:37,493 is perfect for our restaurant chain. 219 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,744 We want to buy the recipe. 220 00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:40,997 No dice. The Flaming Moe is not for sale. 221 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,707 Do you know how much of my blood and sweat 222 00:09:42,790 --> 00:09:44,333 are in this drink? 223 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:45,334 (spitting) 224 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:46,711 Uh... figure of speech. 225 00:09:46,794 --> 00:09:47,920 Sorry, Harv. 226 00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:50,172 (chuckles) 227 00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:52,008 I'll be back. 228 00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:56,387 Good for you, Moe. 229 00:09:56,470 --> 00:09:58,139 Only an idiot would give away 230 00:09:58,222 --> 00:09:59,890 a million-dollar idea like that. 231 00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:01,142 Ohhh. 232 00:10:01,225 --> 00:10:03,144 MARTIN: So the next time you use 233 00:10:03,227 --> 00:10:04,729 a gas chromatograph, 234 00:10:04,812 --> 00:10:07,565 remember to thank Mr. A.J.P. Morton. 235 00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:08,983 Brilliant, Martin. Brilliant. 236 00:10:09,066 --> 00:10:11,986 Once again you've wrecked the grading curve. 237 00:10:12,069 --> 00:10:14,697 I pity the poor student who has to follow you. 238 00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:17,158 Bart Simpson, you're next. 239 00:10:17,241 --> 00:10:19,702 "The Inventor I Admire" by Bart Simpson. 240 00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:22,288 The inventor I admire is not a rich man 241 00:10:22,371 --> 00:10:25,124 or a famous man, or even a smart man. 242 00:10:25,207 --> 00:10:27,543 He's my father, Homer Simpson, 243 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,837 creator of-- ♪ dun-da-da-dah ♪ 244 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:32,632 the Flaming Homer! 245 00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:33,924 The Flaming Homer? 246 00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:35,718 You mean the Flaming Moe 247 00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:37,970 and your dad didn't invent it, you wuss. 248 00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:39,597 Moe the Bartender did. 249 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:40,765 Yes, everyone knows that. 250 00:10:40,848 --> 00:10:41,807 It's not true. 251 00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:43,309 My father invented that drink. 252 00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:45,603 and if you'll allow me to demonstrate. 253 00:10:45,686 --> 00:10:47,480 Bart, are those liquor bottles? 254 00:10:47,563 --> 00:10:48,731 I brought enough for everybody. 255 00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:50,441 Take those to the teachers' lounge. 256 00:10:50,524 --> 00:10:52,068 You can have what's left at the end of the day. 257 00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:55,488 ♪♪ (jazzy rock) 258 00:10:57,615 --> 00:10:59,575 -(indistinct chatter) -MAN: Hey, Bernard! 259 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:00,826 Good evening, Krusty. 260 00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:02,662 Nice to see you, Bernard. 261 00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:04,372 Thank you very much. Right this way. 262 00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:05,831 -Krusty, over here! -Krusty, one more! 263 00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:06,832 What the-- 264 00:11:08,876 --> 00:11:11,587 ♪♪ (jazzy rock continues) 265 00:11:15,132 --> 00:11:18,052 Henceforth, this date shall forever be known 266 00:11:18,135 --> 00:11:19,637 as Flaming Moe's Day. 267 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:21,722 Sir, this is already Veteran's Day. 268 00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:22,765 It can be two things. 269 00:11:29,897 --> 00:11:33,067 Mom, instead of milk for dinner, can I have a Virgin Moe? 270 00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:34,694 (groaning) 271 00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:36,570 Honey, what's wrong? 272 00:11:36,654 --> 00:11:38,155 I'll tell you what's wrong. 273 00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:41,742 That rotten Moe is getting rich off a recipe I gave him. 274 00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:44,578 (whistling) 275 00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:46,664 Take that off this second. 276 00:11:46,747 --> 00:11:48,165 Okay. 277 00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:49,875 Homie, why don't you just go down to Moe's 278 00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:51,669 and talk to him? 279 00:11:51,752 --> 00:11:54,588 I bet he'd be willing to share some of his success with you. 280 00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:55,715 Nah. 281 00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:58,008 Marge, I'm too upset to eat. 282 00:11:58,092 --> 00:11:59,844 I think I'll go to Moe's. 283 00:11:59,927 --> 00:12:01,262 D'oh! 284 00:12:01,345 --> 00:12:03,431 (indistinct chatter) 285 00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:04,890 Oh! 286 00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:06,559 Hey! 287 00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:07,560 Can I help you, sir? 288 00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:08,978 I need to talk to Moe. 289 00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:10,146 Your name's not on the list. 290 00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:11,564 I didn't even tell you my name. 291 00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:13,190 -Okay, what's your name? -Homer Simpson. 292 00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:14,358 -Not on the list. -But-- 293 00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:17,570 We're all filled up. Fire laws! 294 00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:18,904 Ladies and gentlemen, 295 00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:20,865 some new buddies of mine stopped by tonight. 296 00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:23,325 Maybe we can get them to come up here. 297 00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:26,287 How about a warm Flaming Moe's welcome for... 298 00:12:26,370 --> 00:12:27,663 Aerosmith! 299 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:28,789 (girls squeal) 300 00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:30,124 -I don't think so, Moe. -Nah. 301 00:12:30,207 --> 00:12:31,375 We're just hanging out. 302 00:12:31,459 --> 00:12:32,960 Come on, guys. Free pickled eggs. 303 00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:34,211 -All right! -Yeah! 304 00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:37,173 (cheering, applause) 305 00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:39,633 Hello, St. Louis! 306 00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,510 That's Springfield, Steven. 307 00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:42,511 Oh, yeah. Right. 308 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:43,929 Are you ready to rock? 309 00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:45,556 ALL: Yeah! 310 00:12:45,639 --> 00:12:47,892 I said, are you ready to rock! 311 00:12:47,975 --> 00:12:50,102 -ALL: Yeah! -Hit it! 312 00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:53,898 ♪♪ (intro to "Walk This Way") 313 00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:55,733 ♪ Backstroke lover, I was hiding 'neath the covers ♪ 314 00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:57,443 ♪ You was talkin' to your daddy and sayin' ♪ 315 00:12:57,526 --> 00:12:59,111 ♪ Said you ain't seen nothin' ♪ 316 00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:01,113 ♪ Till you're down on the muffin ♪ 317 00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:03,532 ♪ Then you're sure to be a-changin' your way ♪ 318 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:05,451 ♪ I met a cheerleader was a real young breeder ♪ 319 00:13:05,534 --> 00:13:07,286 ♪ All the times I can reminisce ♪ 320 00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:08,621 ♪ 'Cause the best things of lovin' ♪ 321 00:13:08,704 --> 00:13:10,247 ♪ Was a sister and a cousin ♪ 322 00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:11,499 ♪ Only started with a little kiss ♪ 323 00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:12,666 ♪ Like this... ♪ 324 00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:14,001 (grunting) 325 00:13:14,084 --> 00:13:16,170 -Barney? -Hi, Homer. 326 00:13:16,253 --> 00:13:17,171 I want you to meet my friends 327 00:13:17,254 --> 00:13:19,548 Armando and Raffi. 328 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,926 (grumbling) 329 00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:23,803 ♪ So I took a big chance at the high school dance ♪ 330 00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:25,721 ♪ With a missy who was ready to play ♪ 331 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,599 Hey, Moe, come on. Get up here. 332 00:13:28,682 --> 00:13:30,392 ♪ And I know that love was here to stay ♪ 333 00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:33,479 ♪ When she told me to Walk this way ♪ 334 00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:35,648 ♪ Walk this way ♪ 335 00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:37,775 ♪ Walk this way ♪ 336 00:13:37,858 --> 00:13:39,652 ♪ Walk this way ♪ 337 00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:42,321 (cheering) 338 00:13:42,404 --> 00:13:45,157 Hiya, scrumptious. Do you want to ignite my drink? 339 00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:46,951 You're my kid's teacher. 340 00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:48,410 Single parent, are we? 341 00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:49,411 No. 342 00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:51,831 Well, let's pretend you are. 343 00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:52,873 Get away from me. 344 00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:54,583 -Hey, Moe! -Oh, hi, Homer. 345 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:55,751 How about a beer? 346 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,003 I'd rather have a Flaming Homer. 347 00:13:58,087 --> 00:14:00,506 A what? Oh, I get it. 348 00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:02,258 How could you do this to me, Moe? 349 00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:03,968 This bar was going under, 350 00:14:04,051 --> 00:14:06,512 and it was the drink I invented that saved it. 351 00:14:06,595 --> 00:14:07,972 If there was any justice, 352 00:14:08,055 --> 00:14:10,599 my face would be on a bunch of crappy merchandise. 353 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,935 Morris, is what this man saying true? 354 00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:14,311 Well, it's hard to say. 355 00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:16,355 He may have come up with the recipe 356 00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:17,898 but I came up with the idea 357 00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:20,192 of charging $6.95 for it. 358 00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:21,944 -(phone rings) -Uh-- telephone. 359 00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:23,654 Flaming Moe's. 360 00:14:23,737 --> 00:14:25,114 Yes, I'm looking for a friend of mine. 361 00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:27,575 Last name: Jazz. First name: Hugh. 362 00:14:27,658 --> 00:14:28,826 Hold on. I'll check. 363 00:14:28,909 --> 00:14:30,452 Hugh Jazz? 364 00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:33,289 Somebody check the men's room for a Hugh Jazz. 365 00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:34,582 I'm Hugh Jazz. 366 00:14:34,665 --> 00:14:35,666 Telephone. 367 00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:37,251 Hello, this is Hugh Jazz. 368 00:14:37,334 --> 00:14:38,502 Uh... hi. 369 00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:39,670 -Who's this? -Bart Simpson. 370 00:14:39,753 --> 00:14:41,422 What can I do for you, Bart? 371 00:14:41,505 --> 00:14:43,132 Look, I'll level with you mister. 372 00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:44,341 This is a crank call that sorta backfired 373 00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:46,510 and I'd like to bail out right now. 374 00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:47,887 Alright. Better luck next time. 375 00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,972 What a nice young man. 376 00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:52,933 Homer, I'm sorry you're mad at me, but this isn't personal. 377 00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:53,976 This is business. 378 00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:55,227 Business, eh? 379 00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:56,520 Well, let me tell you something. 380 00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:58,022 You just lost yourself a customer. 381 00:14:58,105 --> 00:15:00,190 What? I'm sorry. Homer, I couldn't hear you. 382 00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:02,860 I said, you just lost yourself a customer! 383 00:15:02,943 --> 00:15:05,279 -What? -You just lost yourself a customer! 384 00:15:05,362 --> 00:15:06,822 Homer, you're gonna have to speak up. 385 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,199 You just lost yourself a customer, Moe! 386 00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:10,993 I forced myself to what? 387 00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:13,579 You just lost yourself a customer! 388 00:15:13,662 --> 00:15:14,872 Homer, I'll talk to ya' tomorrow. 389 00:15:14,955 --> 00:15:17,374 You just lost yourself a customer! 390 00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:18,792 Yeah, you can use it. 391 00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:20,461 (indistinct shouting) 392 00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:29,678 ♪♪ ("Cheers" style theme music) 393 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:32,556 ♪ When the weight of the world has got you down ♪ 394 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:35,643 ♪ And you want to end your life ♪ 395 00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:37,603 ♪ Bills to pay, a dead-end job ♪ 396 00:15:37,686 --> 00:15:40,898 ♪ And problems with the wife ♪ 397 00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:43,651 ♪ But don't throw in the towel ♪ 398 00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:46,904 ♪ 'Cause there's a place right down the block ♪ 399 00:15:46,987 --> 00:15:52,660 ♪ Where you can drink your misery away ♪ 400 00:15:52,743 --> 00:15:56,664 -♪ At Flaming Moe's ♪ -CHORUS: ♪ Let's all go to Flaming Moe's ♪ 401 00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:58,248 ♪ Let's all go to Flaming Moe's ♪ 402 00:15:58,332 --> 00:16:00,542 ♪ Where liquor in a mug ♪ 403 00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:03,712 -♪ Can warm you like a hug ♪ -CHORUS: ♪ Flaming Moe's ♪ 404 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:08,509 ♪ And happiness is just a Flaming Moe away ♪ 405 00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:12,721 ♪ Happiness is just a Flaming Moe away. ♪ 406 00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:19,812 ALL: Barney! 407 00:16:19,895 --> 00:16:21,271 How's the world treating you, Mr. Gumble? 408 00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:22,690 (belches) 409 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:24,900 Hey, there! 410 00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,485 What can I do for you, Harv? 411 00:16:26,568 --> 00:16:29,071 Well, sir, Tipsy McStagger would like to buy your drink. 412 00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:30,072 (gasps) He's here? 413 00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:31,490 No, no, no. 414 00:16:31,573 --> 00:16:34,284 I mean my company is willing to do what it takes 415 00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:36,203 to get that recipe. 416 00:16:36,286 --> 00:16:38,539 We're prepared to offer you $1 million. 417 00:16:38,622 --> 00:16:40,666 (all gasping) 418 00:16:40,749 --> 00:16:43,168 Sorry, Harv, but like I told you before 419 00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:44,586 it ain't for sale. 420 00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:45,921 Don't be stupid! 421 00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:47,589 We have a laboratory for this kind of thing. 422 00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:50,134 We've got it all figured out, except for one ingredient. 423 00:16:50,217 --> 00:16:51,927 Brace yourselves, gentlemen. 424 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,847 According to the gas chromatograph, 425 00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:57,182 the secret ingredient is... 426 00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:58,600 Love?! 427 00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:00,769 Who's been screwing with this thing? 428 00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:03,564 I'm sorry, but the secret ingredient dies with me. 429 00:17:03,647 --> 00:17:05,983 30 cases of cough syrup. 430 00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:07,651 -Sign here. -(nervous laugh) 431 00:17:07,735 --> 00:17:09,611 I got hooked on this stuff in the service. 432 00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:11,655 (siren blaring) 433 00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:14,158 HOMER: Ah! My new watering hole. 434 00:17:16,493 --> 00:17:18,037 Yeah, what do you want?! 435 00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:20,289 -A beer. -Okay, then. 436 00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:25,127 Can I have a clean glass? 437 00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:26,628 (growls) 438 00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:29,423 Here you go, your majesty. 439 00:17:29,506 --> 00:17:31,175 Next on "Eye on Springfield," 440 00:17:31,258 --> 00:17:33,427 {\an8}a toast to Moe, the wizard of Walnut Street. 441 00:17:33,510 --> 00:17:36,722 MOE: The Flaming Moe dates back to my forefathers 442 00:17:36,805 --> 00:17:38,891 who were bartenders to the czar. 443 00:17:38,974 --> 00:17:41,643 So, Mr. Hutz, does my husband have a case? 444 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,228 I'm sorry, Mrs. Simpson 445 00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:44,938 but you can't copyright a drink. 446 00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:46,774 (moaning) Ohh! 447 00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:49,693 This all goes back to the Frank Wallbanger case of '78. 448 00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:51,820 How about that? I looked something up. 449 00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:54,323 These books behind me don't just make the office look good. 450 00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:57,826 They're filled with useful legal tidbits just like that. 451 00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,495 Stupid Moe. 452 00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:01,622 Non-inventing, recipe-stealing, pug-nosed-- 453 00:18:01,705 --> 00:18:03,624 Well, Homer, maybe you can take some consolation 454 00:18:03,707 --> 00:18:05,459 in the fact that something you created 455 00:18:05,542 --> 00:18:07,878 is making so many people happy. 456 00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:09,379 Ooh! Look at me. 457 00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:11,465 I'm making people happy. 458 00:18:11,548 --> 00:18:14,384 I'm the magical man from Happy Land 459 00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:18,013 in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane. 460 00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:22,017 Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic. 461 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,644 Well, duh! 462 00:18:23,727 --> 00:18:26,647 Now, that's what I call a happy hour. 463 00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:27,773 (deep sigh) 464 00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:30,025 Morris, something troubles me. 465 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,693 Don't worry baby. 466 00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:33,237 My mother won't be home for another 20 minutes. 467 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:36,490 No. I was just thinking about Homer Simpson. 468 00:18:36,573 --> 00:18:37,741 That's okay. 469 00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,243 I was just thinking about Sybil Danning. 470 00:18:39,326 --> 00:18:41,870 I meant, I think you should sell your drink 471 00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,872 and give half the money to Homer. 472 00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:44,915 But, honey-- 473 00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:46,792 He's your friend, Morris, 474 00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:49,920 and you took advantage of him. 475 00:18:50,003 --> 00:18:51,213 All right. All right. 476 00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:52,631 I'll split the million with Homer. 477 00:18:52,714 --> 00:18:54,049 Jeepers, Mary and Joseph! 478 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,300 I sleep with a chick once 479 00:18:55,384 --> 00:18:57,302 it costs me half a million bananas. 480 00:18:57,386 --> 00:19:01,431 Moe, Moe, Moe... 481 00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:03,600 Bart, are you going to mow the lawn today? 482 00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:05,394 Okay, but you promised me Moe money. 483 00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:06,728 I Moe, I Moe. 484 00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:10,482 Moe, Moe, Moe... 485 00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:11,984 When Bart's done, can we Moe 486 00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:13,735 to the Moevies? There's a Moetinee. 487 00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:17,072 Of course. All work and Moe play makes Moe a Moe Moe. 488 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,907 -Moe Moe Moe Moe Moe? -Moe Moe Moe. 489 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,534 Moe Moe Moe Moe Moe. 490 00:19:20,617 --> 00:19:21,660 Moe Moe Moe Moe. 491 00:19:23,745 --> 00:19:24,705 Moe. 492 00:19:24,788 --> 00:19:27,374 Moe, Moe... 493 00:19:27,457 --> 00:19:28,458 Moe... 494 00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:30,586 Moe, Moe... 495 00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:32,045 Moe.... 496 00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:34,715 Moe, Moe... 497 00:19:34,798 --> 00:19:35,716 -Hey, Homer. -Hey, Homer. 498 00:19:35,799 --> 00:19:37,342 -Huh? -Hey, Homer. 499 00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:41,430 -Hey, Homer. -Hey, Homer. 500 00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:43,765 -Hey, Homer. -Hey, Homer. 501 00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:45,350 Aaaaahh! 502 00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:47,936 Hiya, Homer! 503 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,730 What's the matter? 504 00:19:49,813 --> 00:19:51,148 Aaaaaaahhh! 505 00:19:51,231 --> 00:19:52,691 ♪ Sneakin' out the back way ♪ 506 00:19:52,774 --> 00:19:55,986 ♪ Sneaking down the alley way ♪ 507 00:19:56,069 --> 00:19:57,863 Hey, where's Joey? 508 00:19:57,946 --> 00:19:59,698 JOEY: Mrs. Krabappel, 509 00:19:59,781 --> 00:20:01,909 I really need my drumsticks. 510 00:20:01,992 --> 00:20:04,119 Come and get 'em! 511 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,288 You're going to be a rich man, Moe. 512 00:20:06,371 --> 00:20:08,790 I gotta tell you. The way we usually work 513 00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:11,251 in these situations is to steal the recipe 514 00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:13,420 and run the inventor out of business. 515 00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:14,880 Ah, c'est la vie. 516 00:20:14,963 --> 00:20:17,007 (fiendish echoing laughter) 517 00:20:17,090 --> 00:20:18,133 What the--? 518 00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:20,177 (fiendish laughing) 519 00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:21,511 Fools! 520 00:20:21,595 --> 00:20:22,554 You poor, pathetic 521 00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:23,680 misguided creatures 522 00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:25,265 choking down your Flaming Moes 523 00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:28,060 all the time wondering, "How does he do it?" 524 00:20:28,143 --> 00:20:30,604 Well, I'm going to tell you. 525 00:20:30,687 --> 00:20:31,772 Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee! 526 00:20:31,855 --> 00:20:33,690 The secret ingredient is... 527 00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:34,775 Homer, no! 528 00:20:34,858 --> 00:20:36,944 ...cough syrup. 529 00:20:37,027 --> 00:20:39,655 Nothing but plain, ordinary, over-the-counter 530 00:20:39,738 --> 00:20:41,698 children's cough syrup. 531 00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:44,368 (laughs maniacally) 532 00:20:44,451 --> 00:20:45,369 Shoot. 533 00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:47,120 Thank you, Mr. Nutball. 534 00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:48,789 Got to go, Moe. Tough luck. 535 00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:52,000 Aaaaaaaahhh! 536 00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,044 Holy cow, you just fell 537 00:20:54,127 --> 00:20:55,379 on Aerosmith! 538 00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:07,224 MOE: Hey, Homer. 539 00:21:07,307 --> 00:21:08,517 Come in here. 540 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:09,893 Hi, Moe. 541 00:21:09,977 --> 00:21:11,144 Where's that waitress of yours? 542 00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:13,313 She left to pursue a movie career. 543 00:21:13,397 --> 00:21:15,357 Frankly, I think she was better off here. 544 00:21:17,192 --> 00:21:20,529 Moe, sorry I lost you hundreds of thousands of dollars. 545 00:21:20,612 --> 00:21:22,281 Oh, hey, hey. 546 00:21:22,364 --> 00:21:24,700 Maybe some things are too good to be kept a secret. 547 00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:25,784 I guess so. 548 00:21:25,867 --> 00:21:27,286 Compliments of the house-- 549 00:21:27,369 --> 00:21:30,122 one Flaming... Homer. 550 00:21:30,205 --> 00:21:33,166 HOMER: Aw, thanks, Moe. 551 00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:36,295 You're the greatest friend a guy could ever have. 552 00:21:36,378 --> 00:21:39,298 Hey, do you think Aerosmith will be in tonight? 553 00:21:39,381 --> 00:21:40,424 MOE: I doubt it. 554 00:21:43,802 --> 00:21:44,928 ♪♪ 555 00:21:45,012 --> 00:21:47,180 {\an8}♪ Do it in the sunshine ♪ 556 00:21:47,264 --> 00:21:49,391 {\an8}♪ Hangin' from a clothesline ♪ 557 00:21:49,474 --> 00:21:52,811 {\an8}♪ Find another tree to climb ♪ 558 00:21:52,894 --> 00:21:54,521 {\an8}♪ Young lust ♪ 559 00:21:54,604 --> 00:21:55,564 {\an8}♪ There's no time for lovin' ♪ 560 00:21:55,647 --> 00:21:57,190 {\an8}♪ Young lust ♪ 561 00:21:57,274 --> 00:21:58,650 {\an8}♪ I don't need one in the oven ♪ 562 00:21:58,734 --> 00:22:00,527 {\an8}♪ Young lust ♪ 563 00:22:00,610 --> 00:22:02,487 {\an8}♪ I'm a-pushin' and a-shovin' it ♪ 564 00:22:02,571 --> 00:22:03,530 {\an8}♪ Yeah ♪ 565 00:22:03,613 --> 00:22:05,198 {\an8}♪ Young lust ♪ 566 00:22:05,282 --> 00:22:07,492 {\an8}♪ Come on now I just can't wait ♪ 567 00:22:07,576 --> 00:22:09,786 {\an8}♪ Are you fishin' or you gonna cut bait ♪ 568 00:22:09,870 --> 00:22:13,040 {\an8}♪ Everybody body doin' it ♪ 569 00:22:13,123 --> 00:22:14,750 {\an8}♪ Young lust ♪ 570 00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:15,792 {\an8}♪ There's no time for lovin' ♪ 571 00:22:15,876 --> 00:22:17,419 {\an8}♪ Young lust ♪ 572 00:22:17,502 --> 00:22:18,462 {\an8}♪ I don't need one in the oven ♪ 573 00:22:18,545 --> 00:22:20,130 {\an8}♪ Young lust ♪ 574 00:22:20,213 --> 00:22:21,631 {\an8}♪ I'm a-pushin' and a-shovin' ♪ 575 00:22:21,715 --> 00:22:23,717 {\an8}♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 576 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:25,385 {\an8}♪ Young lust ♪ 577 00:22:25,469 --> 00:22:27,763 {\an8}♪ Come on now I just can't wait ♪ 578 00:22:27,846 --> 00:22:30,182 {\an8}♪ Are you gonna finish or you gonna cut bait ♪ 579 00:22:30,265 --> 00:22:33,352 {\an8}♪ Everybody body doin' it ♪ 580 00:22:33,435 --> 00:22:35,062 {\an8}♪ Young lust ♪ 581 00:22:35,145 --> 00:22:36,104 {\an8}♪ There's no time for lovin' ♪ 582 00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:37,731 {\an8}♪ Young lust ♪ 583 00:22:37,814 --> 00:22:38,774 {\an8}♪ I don't need one in the oven ♪ 584 00:22:38,857 --> 00:22:40,442 {\an8}♪ Young lust ♪ 585 00:22:40,525 --> 00:22:41,985 {\an8}♪ I'm a-pushin' and a-shovin' ♪ 586 00:22:42,069 --> 00:22:44,196 {\an8}♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 587 00:22:44,279 --> 00:22:45,864 {\an8}♪ Young lust ♪ 588 00:22:45,947 --> 00:22:48,158 {\an8}♪ Come on now I just can't wait ♪ 589 00:22:48,241 --> 00:22:49,159 Shh! 590 00:22:52,662 --> 00:22:55,540 {\an8}CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.