1 00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:05,797 {\an8}♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:11,261 (bell ringing) 3 00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:14,097 (tires screeching) 4 00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:15,473 D'oh! 5 00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:18,101 -Aah! -(tires screeching) 6 00:00:32,323 --> 00:00:34,034 {\an8}(birds chirping) 7 00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:37,370 {\an8}(grumbling) 8 00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:39,873 (splat) 9 00:00:39,956 --> 00:00:42,250 Sandwich. (groans) 10 00:00:42,333 --> 00:00:44,169 (items crunching) 11 00:00:44,252 --> 00:00:46,588 Hmm, underpants. 12 00:00:46,671 --> 00:00:48,757 Hmm? 13 00:00:51,342 --> 00:00:53,636 (groans) 14 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,639 Bowling ball. More underpants. 15 00:00:58,641 --> 00:00:59,559 {\an8}-Hi, Mom. -Hi, Mom. 16 00:00:59,642 --> 00:01:01,311 {\an8}Hi, Mom. 17 00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:04,689 {\an8}(all chomping, swallowing) 18 00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:06,858 {\an8}After breakfast, me and Milhouse are going down to the ravine. 19 00:01:06,941 --> 00:01:08,193 {\an8}We got a tip from a six-year-old 20 00:01:08,276 --> 00:01:09,694 {\an8}that there's a dead Martian down there. 21 00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:11,404 {\an8}And I'm going to the park 22 00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:13,364 {\an8}to jam with the Little White Girls blues quartet. 23 00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:15,450 {\an8}-Wanna come with me, daddio? -I'd love to, honey, 24 00:01:15,533 --> 00:01:17,994 {\an8}but Daddy has to go to a beer-drinking contest today. 25 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,537 {\an8}Think you'll win? 26 00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:21,331 {\an8}Son, when you participate in sporting events, 27 00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:23,666 {\an8}it's not whether you win or lose, 28 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:24,793 {\an8}it's how drunk you get. 29 00:01:24,876 --> 00:01:26,419 {\an8}Gotcha. Well, gotta go. 30 00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:29,422 {\an8}-Me, too. -Me, too. 31 00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:32,050 {\an8}Uh, it's hard for us to leave when you're standing there, Mom. 32 00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:35,053 {\an8}-Push her down, son. -No one's going anywhere. 33 00:01:35,136 --> 00:01:37,514 {\an8}We're going to clean the whole house from top to bottom. 34 00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:40,475 {\an8}-(gasps) -(gasps) 35 00:01:40,558 --> 00:01:42,852 {\an8}Oh, dear God, no! 36 00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:45,396 (panting, struggling) 37 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:49,109 I think you'll find that escape is impossible. 38 00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:51,986 {\an8}Now, each one of you take a floor and get started. 39 00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:54,364 {\an8}-I call the basement. -ALL: Fine. 40 00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:55,365 {\an8}D'oh? 41 00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:57,367 {\an8}D'oh! 42 00:01:57,450 --> 00:01:59,244 {\an8}(squeaking) 43 00:01:59,327 --> 00:02:02,163 {\an8}I'm tired. I'm hungry. Can't we just buy a new house? 44 00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:05,333 Oh, Bart, cleaning doesn't have to be a chore. 45 00:02:05,416 --> 00:02:07,836 Here, work to the music. 46 00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:11,297 ♪ You load 16 tons and what do you get ♪ 47 00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:13,967 ♪ Another day older and deeper in debt ♪ 48 00:02:14,050 --> 00:02:15,844 Amen, Ernie. 49 00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:18,972 (sputtering, engine starts) 50 00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:28,565 -All done. -You're not done. 51 00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:31,401 I want you to throw away these old calendars and TV Guides. 52 00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:33,444 Are you mad, woman? 53 00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:35,947 You never know when an old calendar might come in handy. 54 00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:38,032 Sure, it's not 1985 right now, 55 00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:40,785 but who knows what tomorrow will bring? 56 00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:44,455 And these TV Guides. So many memories. 57 00:02:44,539 --> 00:02:47,584 "Gomer Upsets Sergeant Carter." 58 00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:51,546 Oh, I'll never forget that episode. 59 00:02:51,629 --> 00:02:53,548 -Pyle! -Shazam! 60 00:02:53,631 --> 00:02:55,633 -Pyle! -Shazam! 61 00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:58,136 -Pyle! -Shazam! 62 00:02:58,219 --> 00:03:00,638 (laughs) Shazam. 63 00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:03,558 Stop remembering TV and get back to work. 64 00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:05,560 What's the point of all this cleaning? 65 00:03:05,643 --> 00:03:07,395 Are we so vain? 66 00:03:07,478 --> 00:03:09,105 (vacuum whirring) 67 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,232 -(jazz playing) -Hmm? 68 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:17,530 Hey, Clinton, get back to work. 69 00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,532 Make me. 70 00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:23,578 (sighs) They're having a great time, and I'm stuck in here. 71 00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:25,163 (sour note plays) 72 00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:26,998 {\an8}Ooh! 73 00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:30,668 {\an8}Hmm. "Use only in a well-ventilated area." 74 00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:33,880 Shove it, buddy. 75 00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:38,718 (grunting) 76 00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:41,679 Whoo! Ahh! 77 00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:44,599 (Homer blabbering) 78 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:47,936 (popping, squeaking) 79 00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:49,646 Huh? Whee! 80 00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:52,982 (all growling) 81 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,651 (straining) 82 00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:58,112 I must destroy you! 83 00:03:58,196 --> 00:04:01,241 (screaming) 84 00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:03,409 MARGE: Homer, what's going on down there? 85 00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:05,870 -Nothing. -Then stop screaming so loud. 86 00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:08,665 Okay. (quieter screaming) 87 00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:14,837 ♪♪ (country music plays) 88 00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:18,216 (groaning) 89 00:04:18,299 --> 00:04:20,468 RADIO DJ: And that was "Take this job and shove it." 90 00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:23,930 Now let's make another one of our lucky phone calls. 91 00:04:24,013 --> 00:04:25,265 DJ 2: Okay, just answer the phone with 92 00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:26,933 the special phrase that pays, 93 00:04:27,016 --> 00:04:29,435 and you'll have your choice of $10,000 in cash-- 94 00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:30,895 (cash register dings) 95 00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:33,439 (laughs) Or a really stupid prize. 96 00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:34,983 (clock cuckoos) 97 00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:37,110 DJ: Well, let's make that call. 98 00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:38,528 (rings) 99 00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:40,154 KBBL is gonna give me something stupid! 100 00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:41,906 GRAMPA: Bart, I'm having palpitations! 101 00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:43,783 Can't tie up the line, Grampa. 102 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:49,455 -(all groaning) -There. Isn't that a lot better? 103 00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:52,000 Now you can do whatever you want, but don't mess up the house. 104 00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:53,751 ALL: We won't. 105 00:04:57,338 --> 00:04:59,215 (groans) 106 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,092 DJ: And now let's try another lucky phone call. 107 00:05:01,175 --> 00:05:03,094 (rings) 108 00:05:03,177 --> 00:05:04,929 Help! Help us! 109 00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:08,057 They stole our uniforms, guns and tasers! 110 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,852 -Ooh, fry, piggy. -(electrical charge) 111 00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:12,729 {\an8}WIGGUM: No, no, no, don't! 112 00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:15,023 {\an8}(electrical charge, Wiggum yelling) 113 00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:16,607 {\an8}A little to the left. 114 00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:18,609 {\an8}-(electrical charge) -Ahh, that's the stuff. 115 00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:20,695 DJ: Oh, I'm sorry the phrase is 116 00:05:20,778 --> 00:05:22,864 "KBBL is gonna give me something stupid." 117 00:05:22,947 --> 00:05:23,865 DJ 2: Pretty weird. 118 00:05:23,948 --> 00:05:25,700 (laughs) 119 00:05:25,783 --> 00:05:27,285 DJ: Let's try one more number. 120 00:05:27,368 --> 00:05:28,786 -(phone rings) -(gasps) 121 00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:31,205 -Hello. -KBBL is gonna give me something stupid! 122 00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:33,624 -Well, hot dog, we have a "Wiener." -(alarm sounds) 123 00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:36,711 -Hello? -I won! I won! 124 00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:38,838 {\an8}You win your choice of $10,000 or-- 125 00:05:38,921 --> 00:05:40,757 {\an8}What's our gag prize this week, Bill? 126 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:42,383 {\an8}(Bill laughs) A full-grown African elephant. 127 00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:44,844 Well, all that money sounds mighty tempting, Marty, 128 00:05:44,927 --> 00:05:47,013 but I think I'm gonna have to go with the elephant. 129 00:05:47,096 --> 00:05:50,391 He's taking the elephant instead of the money. 130 00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:51,851 {\an8}MARTY: The kid wants the elephant. 131 00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:53,311 {\an8}We don't have a damn elephant. 132 00:05:53,394 --> 00:05:55,730 {\an8}Don't whisper into the mike. 133 00:05:55,813 --> 00:05:57,357 {\an8}(clears throat) Kid, the elephant's a gag prize. 134 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,109 {\an8}Nobody takes the gag prize. You want the cash. 135 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,361 {\an8}I want the elephant. 136 00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:04,197 (laughs) Stick it to the man. 137 00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:06,449 No, wait! We'll call you back. 138 00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:09,744 Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! 139 00:06:09,827 --> 00:06:12,955 We could buy all kinds of useful things like... love. 140 00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:16,125 Or double-ply windows. They look just like regular windows, 141 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:19,962 but they'll save us four percent on our heating bill. 142 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,923 Well, they will. 143 00:06:22,006 --> 00:06:25,093 You all seem to be forgetting the most important thing, 144 00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:27,929 which is, that it's wrong to imprison an animal. 145 00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:30,681 Lisa, go to your room. 146 00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:32,308 (man laughing) 147 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:35,395 We appreciate you coming down, but, look, kid. 148 00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:37,647 The thing is, uh-- (chuckles) 149 00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:39,649 We don't have an elephant. (laughs) 150 00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:40,733 Come on, kid, just take the money, huh? 151 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,819 Otherwise, we might get fired. 152 00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:45,571 -You don't want us to get fired, do you? -Eh, either way. 153 00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:48,032 -(both gasp) -(groans) 154 00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:50,910 We think we know how your mind works, Bart, so how 'bout this? 155 00:06:50,993 --> 00:06:54,080 We pay your principal $10,000 to pull down his pants 156 00:06:54,163 --> 00:06:56,749 and keep 'em down for the rest of the school year. 157 00:06:56,833 --> 00:07:00,211 -I'll do it, Bart. -Um... no. 158 00:07:00,294 --> 00:07:04,132 Okay, okay. What if we use the 10,000 to surgically transform Skinner here 159 00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:06,884 into, uh, some kind of a lobster-like creature? 160 00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:08,845 Well, now wait just a minute. That wasn't discussed with me. 161 00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:13,641 Uh, gentlemen, I am not leaving without my elephant. 162 00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:17,562 -Hey! -Whee! 163 00:07:17,645 --> 00:07:19,355 Where's my elephant? 164 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:22,900 -(mellow music plays) -BART: Where's my elephant? 165 00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:24,277 Where's my elephant? 166 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:26,195 Where's my elephant? 167 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:28,739 Hey, they're playing "The Elephant Song." 168 00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:30,741 I love that. Reminds me of elephants. 169 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:38,124 So, isn't that what we're all asking in our own lives? 170 00:07:38,207 --> 00:07:41,252 Where's my elephant? I know that's what I've been asking. 171 00:07:41,335 --> 00:07:43,254 (electrical crackling) 172 00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:45,339 Look, our ratings are down, and the station is being swamped 173 00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:47,842 with angry calls and letter bombs. 174 00:07:50,386 --> 00:07:52,847 -And it's all your fault. -Yes, it is, ma'am. 175 00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:54,932 This is the DJ-3000. 176 00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:57,101 It plays CDs automatically, 177 00:07:57,185 --> 00:08:00,146 and it has three distinct varieties of inane chatter. 178 00:08:00,229 --> 00:08:03,941 MALE VOICE: Hey, hey, how about that weather out there? 179 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:07,069 Whoa, that was the caller from hell. 180 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,447 Well, hot dog, we have a "wiener." 181 00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:11,199 Man, that thing's great. 182 00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:13,618 Don't praise the machine. 183 00:08:13,701 --> 00:08:17,830 If you don't get that kid an elephant by tomorrow, the DJ-3000 gets your job. 184 00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:21,167 (grunts) 185 00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:23,044 Looks like those clowns in congress did it again. 186 00:08:23,127 --> 00:08:24,128 What a bunch of clowns. 187 00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:25,505 (laughs) 188 00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:27,215 How does he keep up with the news like that? 189 00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:28,841 -(doorbell rings) -(yawns) 190 00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:34,055 -(gasps) -(tires squeal) 191 00:08:34,138 --> 00:08:35,681 (Marge, Homer gasp) 192 00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:37,934 Whoo-ho-ho-ho! 193 00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:39,727 (trumpets) 194 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,192 (elephant trumpets) 195 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,988 (snorting) 196 00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:52,323 Homer? 197 00:08:52,406 --> 00:08:54,825 It looks like it could gore. 198 00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:57,078 (chuckles) It does look like Al Gore. 199 00:08:57,161 --> 00:08:59,247 Oh, he smells worse than anything. 200 00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:03,501 Hey, you, elephant! Lift me up on your back, man. Whoo! 201 00:09:03,584 --> 00:09:05,753 (Marge gasps) Bart! 202 00:09:05,836 --> 00:09:09,173 (grunts) Cool! 203 00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:12,093 (chuckles) He tried to kill me. 204 00:09:12,176 --> 00:09:14,178 I really think this is a bad idea. 205 00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:16,973 Marge, I agree with you in theory. 206 00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:19,308 In theory, communism works. 207 00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:22,019 In theory. 208 00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,483 {\an8}Look, he thinks he's people. 209 00:09:30,027 --> 00:09:33,197 (trumpets) 210 00:09:37,201 --> 00:09:39,370 I think I'm gonna call him Stampy. 211 00:09:39,453 --> 00:09:41,122 (trumpets) 212 00:09:41,205 --> 00:09:43,708 {\an8}-What's he yelling about? -He's hungry. 213 00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:47,837 {\an8}Here you go, Stampy. Eat it slow. It has to last for-- 214 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,256 You ate it too fast. 215 00:09:50,339 --> 00:09:52,675 Maybe if we tied it down so it couldn't move, it wouldn't get so hungry. 216 00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:55,136 You can't do that, Dad. It's cruel! 217 00:09:55,219 --> 00:09:57,305 Oh, everything's cruel according to you. 218 00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:59,515 Keeping him chained up in the backyard is cruel. 219 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,517 Pulling on his tail is cruel. 220 00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,436 Yelling in his ears is cruel. 221 00:10:03,519 --> 00:10:05,521 Everything is cruel. 222 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:08,566 So excuse me if I'm cruel! (yells) 223 00:10:08,649 --> 00:10:11,319 -(chomps) -(muffled yelling) 224 00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,531 {\an8}(grunts, breathing heavily) 225 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:20,161 Now I've had my head in an elephant, a hippo and a giant sloth. 226 00:10:20,244 --> 00:10:22,913 (swallowing) 227 00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:24,790 (crunching) 228 00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:26,542 {\an8}(grunts) 229 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,587 {\an8}I think you're taking unfair advantage of my generous offer. 230 00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:32,006 -Shut up! -(labored breathing) 231 00:10:32,089 --> 00:10:35,217 He can't just eat peanuts, Dad. He needs plants to live. 232 00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:37,094 Plants, eh? 233 00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:41,098 (squirrels chittering) 234 00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:45,728 Strip the bark now, Stampy. 235 00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:47,605 Hey, any more arboretums around here? 236 00:10:47,688 --> 00:10:48,773 No! 237 00:10:52,276 --> 00:10:56,364 (Homer gasps) That bird! He's killing the elephant! Stop him! 238 00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:58,741 No, Dad, he's grooming him. 239 00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:00,576 Grooming him, eh? 240 00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:04,789 Oh, Homer, there's a bird on your head. 241 00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:07,083 I know. He's grooming me. 242 00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:10,461 Mm, elephant fresh. 243 00:11:10,544 --> 00:11:14,757 (several dogs barking) 244 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,759 (Stampy trumpets) 245 00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:19,470 (silence) 246 00:11:19,553 --> 00:11:21,639 (straining) 247 00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:25,393 Good night, Stampy. 248 00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:30,314 (sniffing) 249 00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:32,274 (Bart sighs) 250 00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:36,654 (yawns, grunts) 251 00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:39,782 Uh-- Ahem. 252 00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:45,287 Thanks, Bud. Appreciate it. 253 00:11:47,581 --> 00:11:50,334 -Hmm. -Taught Stampy any tricks yet, Bart? 254 00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:52,795 Nah. He doesn't wanna learn, and I don't wanna teach him. 255 00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:54,422 We get along fine. 256 00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:58,134 -(heavy panting) -Hey, what's with them? 257 00:11:58,217 --> 00:12:00,219 I think they're trying to get some attention. 258 00:12:00,302 --> 00:12:03,013 Oh. Good luck! 259 00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:05,808 Look at these bills. "Chain for elephant." 260 00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:09,603 "Shots for elephant." "Oversized decorative poncho"! 261 00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:12,732 Technically, it's for a giraffe, but I think I can let it out a little. 262 00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:15,276 Well, these bills will have to be paid out of your allowance. 263 00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:17,528 You'll have to raise my allowance to about $1,000 a week. 264 00:12:17,611 --> 00:12:20,948 -Then that's what I'll do, smart guy. -(doorbell rings) 265 00:12:21,031 --> 00:12:24,827 {\an8}-Can we see the elephant? -We'll pay you money. 266 00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:27,538 For the ninth time, no! 267 00:12:27,621 --> 00:12:29,540 (doorbell rings) 268 00:12:29,623 --> 00:12:32,668 Wait a minute. This gives me an idea. 269 00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:38,716 Mm, here's a better sign, Dad. 270 00:12:38,799 --> 00:12:39,925 I don't have time to read it. 271 00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,260 Just give me the gist of it, son. 272 00:12:41,343 --> 00:12:43,763 {\an8}(playful chattering) 273 00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:49,351 -(grunts) -Your kid flew five feet. 274 00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:50,853 That counts as a ride. Two bucks. 275 00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:52,521 That was never five feet. 276 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,940 That animal of yours is certainly bad-tempered. 277 00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:56,567 {\an8}Yeah, well, you'd be grumpy too 278 00:12:56,650 --> 00:12:58,194 {\an8}if you were taken out of your natural habitat 279 00:12:58,277 --> 00:13:01,197 {\an8}and gawked at by a bunch of slack-jawed yokels. 280 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:04,700 Hey, ma, look at that pointy-hairded little girl. (guffaws) 281 00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:07,912 {\an8}You guys don't understand Stampy. 282 00:13:07,995 --> 00:13:09,663 {\an8}He's just like me. 283 00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:11,791 {\an8}We're a pair of jokers, and both of us are wild. 284 00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:14,627 We don't take nothing from nobody. (sighs) 285 00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:17,129 (laughs) Smithers! 286 00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:20,758 This reminds me of that fat man I used to ride to work. 287 00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:22,551 -(groaning) -(door closes) 288 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:25,346 Look at this, Marge. $58 and all of it profit! 289 00:13:25,429 --> 00:13:28,390 I'm the smartest businessman in the world. 290 00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:31,393 Stampy's food bill today was $300. 291 00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:34,772 Marge, please, don't humiliate me in front of the money. 292 00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:38,818 (humming) 293 00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:41,487 (customers reacting negatively) 294 00:13:41,570 --> 00:13:43,405 (car doors slamming, tires screeching) 295 00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:46,158 (vehicles departing) 296 00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:48,494 Um, Milhouse saw the elephant twice 297 00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:49,870 and rode him once, right? 298 00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:52,331 Yes, but we paid you four dollars. 299 00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:55,125 Well, that was under our old price structure. 300 00:13:55,209 --> 00:13:57,294 Under our new price structure, 301 00:13:57,378 --> 00:14:00,881 your bill comes to a total of $700. 302 00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:03,634 Now, you've already paid me four dollars, 303 00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:08,097 so that's just $696 more that you owe me. 304 00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:10,182 Get off our property. 305 00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:12,434 This town is full of deadbeats. 306 00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:14,311 We can't afford this elephant. 307 00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:16,313 No, Dad, he's my friend. 308 00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:18,440 Sorry, Bart. I'm gonna have to sell him. 309 00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:20,359 ♪♪ (music playing) 310 00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:24,780 {\an8}(roars) 311 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,866 {\an8}Well, sir, I'll be honest with ya. 312 00:14:26,949 --> 00:14:30,661 I need a large African elephant, and I need it today. 313 00:14:30,744 --> 00:14:32,705 But I'm afraid this just isn't what I'm looking for. 314 00:14:32,788 --> 00:14:34,623 What do you mean? It's an elephant, isn't it? 315 00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:38,294 Well, it is and it isn't, if you understand what I mean. 316 00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:41,755 He likes peanuts. 317 00:14:41,839 --> 00:14:46,135 Our wildlife refuge is the ideal environment for your elephant. 318 00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:49,138 Thousands of acres of simulated African savannah. 319 00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:50,681 It's perfect, Dad. 320 00:14:50,764 --> 00:14:53,642 I only have two questions: How much? And give it to me. 321 00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:55,936 Well, we really can't offer you any money. 322 00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:59,189 -We're a nonprofit organization. -So, your bid is zero? 323 00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:01,442 -Well, we'd like to think of it as-- -Thank you. 324 00:15:01,525 --> 00:15:03,569 -You know, I really think-- -Thank you. 325 00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:08,282 Mr. Simpson, I think you'll find this amount more than fair. 326 00:15:08,365 --> 00:15:10,910 Dad, I think he's an ivory dealer. 327 00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:13,120 His boots are ivory. His hat is ivory. 328 00:15:13,203 --> 00:15:15,581 And I'm pretty sure that check is ivory. 329 00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:19,960 Lisa, a guy who has lots of ivory is less likely to hurt Stampy 330 00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:22,755 than a guy whose ivory supplies are low. 331 00:15:22,838 --> 00:15:27,593 (growling) We love... you. 332 00:15:27,676 --> 00:15:28,969 (meows) 333 00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:31,555 -Mr. Blackheart? -Yes, my pretty. 334 00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:34,683 -Are you an ivory dealer? -(laughs) 335 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,561 Little girl, I've had lots of jobs in my day-- 336 00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:41,941 Whale hunter, seal clubber, president of the Fox network-- 337 00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:43,525 And, like most people, 338 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:45,110 yeah, I've dealt a little ivory. 339 00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:48,322 Dad, you can't do this. Stampy is my friend. 340 00:15:48,405 --> 00:15:50,908 Don't worry, son. I'll get you a new elephant. 341 00:15:50,991 --> 00:15:53,202 -I'll take that one too. -Done. 342 00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:54,286 I'll be back in the morning to pick up Stampy. 343 00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:55,621 Here's the keys. 344 00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:58,624 -Elephants don't have keys. -I'll just keep these then. 345 00:15:58,707 --> 00:16:00,918 Don't worry, Stampy. 346 00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:03,712 I won't let Homer sell you to that ivory dealer. 347 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,547 You and I are gonna run away together. 348 00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:08,634 We'll keep to the back roads and make our way south. 349 00:16:08,717 --> 00:16:12,596 Then, if I know my geography, it's just 12 miles to Africa. 350 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:15,182 Okay, bud, very quietly, let's just sneak through-- 351 00:16:15,265 --> 00:16:16,266 (grunts) 352 00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:17,810 Stampy! 353 00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:19,478 (trumpets) 354 00:16:21,855 --> 00:16:25,192 (gasps) Oh, it's the four elephants of the apocalypse. 355 00:16:25,275 --> 00:16:28,153 -That's horsemen, Ned. -Well, getting closer. 356 00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:34,576 Mom, Dad, Bart and Stampy are gone! 357 00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:36,537 Oh, my Lord! 358 00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:39,415 I bet it's because of that horrible ivory dealer, Dad. 359 00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:41,000 He took Bart too? 360 00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:43,794 That wasn't part of our deal, Blackheart! 361 00:16:43,877 --> 00:16:46,964 That wasn't part! 362 00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:51,301 Piece of cake. 363 00:16:51,385 --> 00:16:53,929 All we have to do is follow the path of destruction. 364 00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:58,600 Oh, stupid tornado! 365 00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:00,227 (laughs) Look. 366 00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:02,229 It got Patty and Selma. 367 00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:06,066 (groans) I feel it all the way up my skirt. 368 00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:07,192 Ditto. 369 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:11,655 (trumpets) 370 00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:12,614 Whoa! 371 00:17:13,907 --> 00:17:15,117 Whoa! 372 00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:21,206 (chuckles) Yeah, right, lady. 373 00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:23,834 An elephant ran through your front yard. Okay. 374 00:17:23,917 --> 00:17:27,337 Wiggum. Yeah, right, mister. Mm-hmm. 375 00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:30,382 An elephant just knocked over your mailbox. Okay. 376 00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:33,343 Wiggum. Yeah, right, buddy. 377 00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:36,638 Liquor store robbery, officer down. Sure. 378 00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:39,767 And I'm Edward G. Robinson. Waah! 379 00:17:43,103 --> 00:17:45,522 (cheering) 380 00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:47,608 (trumpeting) 381 00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:50,652 (jeering) 382 00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:54,823 (trumpets) 383 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,325 Whoa! 384 00:17:56,408 --> 00:17:58,077 This is the moment we've feared, people. 385 00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,912 Many of you thought it would never happen, 386 00:17:59,995 --> 00:18:03,499 but I insisted we spend two hours every morning training for it. 387 00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:05,626 You all thought I was mad. 388 00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:08,462 Many of you requested to be transferred to another peanut factory. 389 00:18:08,545 --> 00:18:10,547 -But now, we-- -(trumpets) 390 00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:16,845 Stampy! 391 00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:19,848 Stampy, where are you, boy? 392 00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:22,643 -(trumpeting) -Huh? 393 00:18:22,726 --> 00:18:25,104 {\an8}(panting) (trumpeting) 394 00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:28,565 {\an8}FEMALE VOICE: These prehistoric creatures blundered into the tar pits, 395 00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:31,819 {\an8}which preserved their skeletons in showroom condition. 396 00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:35,489 Oh. He's gone forever. 397 00:18:35,572 --> 00:18:37,741 (loud trumpeting) 398 00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,284 (gasps) Stampy! 399 00:18:40,994 --> 00:18:43,413 Mm. 400 00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:45,124 Huh? 401 00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:48,127 {\an8}Oh, you're lonely for other elephants, aren't you? 402 00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:51,755 -D'oh! -A deer! 403 00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:53,757 A female deer. 404 00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:56,510 Son, you're okay! 405 00:18:56,593 --> 00:18:59,388 And you led us to the precious ivory. 406 00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:02,724 And, of course, your lovable pet, who it's connected to. 407 00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:06,353 Dad, I can't let you sell him. Stampy and I are friends. 408 00:19:06,436 --> 00:19:08,147 Ow! 409 00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:11,024 Anyway, I want him to go to that animal refuge. 410 00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:12,526 Forget it! 411 00:19:12,609 --> 00:19:15,028 That elephant cost me thousands of dollars. 412 00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:17,906 Dad, how would you like to be sold to an ivory dealer? 413 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,908 -I'd like it fine. -Even if he killed you 414 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,244 and made your teeth into piano keys? 415 00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:24,037 Yes, of course I would. 416 00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:26,206 Who wouldn't like that, to be part of the music scene? 417 00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:28,834 -Dad, you're sinking! -Huh? 418 00:19:28,917 --> 00:19:31,420 -Get a rope, Bart. -No, that's okay. 419 00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:33,881 I'm pretty sure I can struggle my way out. 420 00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:37,634 First, I'll just reach in and pull my legs out. 421 00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:40,721 {\an8}Now I'll pull my arms out with my face. 422 00:19:40,804 --> 00:19:42,723 {\an8}Mm. (gurgling) 423 00:19:42,806 --> 00:19:45,225 -Dad! -Homey! 424 00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:47,186 Stampy, quick! Pull him out! 425 00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:51,732 Thanks, Stampy. 426 00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:55,277 Ow! 427 00:19:57,487 --> 00:19:59,573 (gasping) 428 00:19:59,656 --> 00:20:03,327 Ah, I'm alive! I'm alive! 429 00:20:03,410 --> 00:20:06,788 And I owe it all to this feisty feline. 430 00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,790 Dad, feline means cat. 431 00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:11,501 Elephant, honey. It's an elephant. 432 00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:14,546 And I'm sure he'll make a grand piano. 433 00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:17,382 -BOTH: Dad! -Oh. 434 00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:19,927 I guess it wouldn't be right to sell Stampy 435 00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:21,970 after he saved my life. 436 00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:24,431 And the boy seems to have some sort of relationship with him. 437 00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:27,309 -Thanks, Dad. -On the other hand, 438 00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:29,645 who's to say what's right these days, 439 00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:33,482 what with all our modern ideas... and products? 440 00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:38,904 All right. We'll give the stupid elephant to the stupid animal refuge. 441 00:20:38,987 --> 00:20:41,782 BOTH: Yea! 442 00:20:41,865 --> 00:20:45,244 Uh, Mom, we're stuck to Dad. 443 00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:46,870 (groans) 444 00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:48,789 This is just what happened at the caramel factory. 445 00:20:48,872 --> 00:20:51,208 -Ow! -Ow, my hair! 446 00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:52,876 (grunting) 447 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,420 Mmm, caramel. 448 00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:58,465 (trumpets) 449 00:20:58,548 --> 00:21:00,425 So long, Stampy. 450 00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:03,428 I know you're gonna like it here. No, Stampy, no! 451 00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:05,847 (trumpets) 452 00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:09,476 (chuckles) Oh, thanks, boy. 453 00:21:09,559 --> 00:21:11,895 -(roars) -Whoa! Whoa, boy! 454 00:21:11,979 --> 00:21:14,856 Wh-whoa! 455 00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:18,735 -(grunts) -(trumpets) 456 00:21:22,739 --> 00:21:24,157 (Bart laughs) 457 00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:27,452 Attaboy, Stampy. Butt him once for me. 458 00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:29,997 Gosh, I thought he'd be happier in his true habitat. 459 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:31,999 Oh, I think he is. 460 00:21:32,082 --> 00:21:34,459 Then why is he attacking all those other elephants? 461 00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:37,838 Well, animals are a lot like people, Mrs. Simpson. 462 00:21:37,921 --> 00:21:39,589 {\an8}-Some of them act badly -Stampy! 463 00:21:39,673 --> 00:21:41,842 {\an8}Because they had a hard life or have been mistreated. 464 00:21:41,925 --> 00:21:46,054 But, like people, some of them are just jerks. 465 00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:47,681 Stop that, Mr. Simpson. 466 00:21:47,764 --> 00:21:49,182 (grunting) 467 00:22:44,654 --> 00:22:46,198 Shh! 468 00:22:49,576 --> 00:22:52,788 {\an8}CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.