1 00:00:02,752 --> 00:00:05,171 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:06,881 --> 00:00:09,259 (tires screech) 3 00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:10,343 D'oh! 4 00:00:10,427 --> 00:00:12,971 -Aah! -(tires screech) 5 00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:14,305 (screeches) 6 00:00:27,944 --> 00:00:29,946 Here's your caption boys: 7 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:33,033 "Local hero shuns spotlight and pitches in." 8 00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:33,992 What an angle. 9 00:00:37,829 --> 00:00:40,457 {\an8}I can't believe I'm spending my Saturday picking up garbage. 10 00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:41,666 {\an8}I mean, half these bottles ain't even mine. 11 00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,501 {\an8}(clears throat) 12 00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:46,880 {\an8}Let's have less conversation and more sanitation. 13 00:00:46,963 --> 00:00:48,423 {\an8}(all grumbling) 14 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:52,677 {\an8}Hey, where's Homer? 15 00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:54,304 {\an8}How'd he get out of this? 16 00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:55,472 {\an8}HOMER: Hey, everybody! 17 00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:56,931 {\an8}Up here! 18 00:00:58,349 --> 00:01:00,018 {\an8}Simpson, stop frolicking and get to work. 19 00:01:00,101 --> 00:01:01,686 {\an8}Right away, Mr. Smithers. 20 00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:05,023 {\an8}I'll just walk across these slippery ro... aah! 21 00:01:06,649 --> 00:01:08,401 {\an8}Oh, no! He's going over the falls! 22 00:01:11,529 --> 00:01:13,615 {\an8}Oh, good. He snagged that tree branch. 23 00:01:13,698 --> 00:01:15,408 {\an8}Oh, no! The branch broke off. 24 00:01:17,118 --> 00:01:19,245 {\an8}Oh, good. He can grab on to them pointy rocks. 25 00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:20,538 {\an8}Oh, no! 26 00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:22,499 {\an8}Them rocks broke his arms and legs. 27 00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:25,460 {\an8}Oh, good. Those helpful beavers 28 00:01:25,543 --> 00:01:26,503 {\an8}are swimming out to save him. 29 00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:28,129 {\an8}Oh, no. 30 00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:30,632 {\an8}They're biting him and stealing his pants. 31 00:01:32,717 --> 00:01:34,469 {\an8}Good Lord. He'll be sucked into the turbine. 32 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:38,598 (all gasp) 33 00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:42,644 {\an8}Smithers, Who was that corpse? 34 00:01:42,727 --> 00:01:44,145 {\an8}Homer Simpson, sir. 35 00:01:44,229 --> 00:01:45,355 {\an8}(sniffling) 36 00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:47,357 {\an8}One of the finest, bravest men 37 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,609 {\an8}ever to grace Sector 7G. 38 00:01:49,692 --> 00:01:51,653 {\an8}(sobbing) 39 00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:54,531 {\an8}I'll cross him off the list. 40 00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:55,698 {\an8}(Bart laughing) 41 00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,617 {\an8}That dummy worked like a charm, Dad. 42 00:01:57,700 --> 00:01:59,410 {\an8}Best 600 bucks I ever spent. 43 00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:00,495 {\an8}Come on, boy. 44 00:02:00,578 --> 00:02:01,663 {\an8}We've earned this Saturday. 45 00:02:01,746 --> 00:02:04,082 {\an8}Now let's make the most of it! 46 00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:12,048 61, 62, 63... 47 00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:19,889 Marge, we can't tell you how sorry we are. 48 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:23,268 You have our deepest condol-diddly-olences. 49 00:02:23,351 --> 00:02:24,894 I'm sorry. I-I'm just nervous. 50 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:26,104 I didn't mean any disrespect. 51 00:02:26,187 --> 00:02:27,272 What are you talking about? 52 00:02:27,355 --> 00:02:28,273 You know, uh... 53 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:30,608 Homer's passing. 54 00:02:32,193 --> 00:02:33,069 Away. 55 00:02:34,404 --> 00:02:35,321 Into death. 56 00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:37,198 What? 57 00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:40,285 That's ridiculous. Homer's not dead. 58 00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:41,661 He's right out back in the hammock. 59 00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:47,876 Oh, Marge, of course Homer's alive. 60 00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:50,545 He's alive in all our hearts. 61 00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:51,588 Yes, Marge. 62 00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:52,589 I can see him. 63 00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:55,425 Hi, everybody. 64 00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:56,551 Marge, I'm going to give you the card 65 00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:57,886 of our juvenile counselor. 66 00:02:57,969 --> 00:02:58,887 (doorbell rings) 67 00:03:01,097 --> 00:03:02,974 A tombstone? 68 00:03:03,057 --> 00:03:04,350 It came with the burial plot. 69 00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:05,810 But that's not important. 70 00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:08,104 The important thing is, Homer's dead. 71 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,231 We've been saving for this since your wedding day. 72 00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:12,775 Get out of here you ghouls! 73 00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:15,612 Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi. 74 00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:16,821 Hmm? 75 00:03:18,406 --> 00:03:19,782 Uh, excuse me. 76 00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:22,368 Sir, I think there's been a mistake. 77 00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:23,745 Oh, no. No mistake. 78 00:03:23,828 --> 00:03:24,913 Your electricity's in the name 79 00:03:24,996 --> 00:03:26,748 of Homer J. Simpson, deceased. 80 00:03:26,831 --> 00:03:29,209 The juice stays off till you get a job or a generator. 81 00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:31,169 Oh, and, uh, my deepest sympathies. 82 00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:33,504 Mmm... Homer? 83 00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:34,547 That's my name. 84 00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:36,007 When I asked you if that dummy 85 00:03:36,090 --> 00:03:38,092 was to fake your own death, you told me no. 86 00:03:38,176 --> 00:03:39,719 You go downtown first thing in the morning 87 00:03:39,802 --> 00:03:41,262 and straighten this out. 88 00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:42,764 LISA: Mom! Dad! 89 00:03:42,847 --> 00:03:45,266 Bart ran into a doorframe and bit his tongue! 90 00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:47,227 BART: What the hell'th goin' on heah? 91 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,940 Listen here. My name is Homer J. Simpson. 92 00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:53,858 You guys think I'm dead, but I'm not. 93 00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:55,610 Now I want you to straighten this out 94 00:03:55,693 --> 00:03:57,111 without a lot of your bureaucratic red tape and mumbo jumbo. 95 00:03:57,195 --> 00:03:58,988 Okay, Mr. Simpson 96 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:02,575 I'll just make the change here... and you're all set. 97 00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:05,703 I don't like your attitude, you water-cooler dictator. 98 00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:07,705 What do you have in that secret government file, anyway? 99 00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:08,831 I have a right to read it. 100 00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:10,458 You sure do. 101 00:04:10,541 --> 00:04:11,668 "Wife: Marjorie. 102 00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:13,670 Children: Bartholomew, Lisa..." 103 00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:17,507 Ah-hah! See? This thing is all screwed up. 104 00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:19,425 Who the heck is "Margaret" Simpson? 105 00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:20,760 Uh... your youngest daughter. 106 00:04:20,843 --> 00:04:23,388 (mimicking) "Uh... your youngest daughter." 107 00:04:23,471 --> 00:04:24,847 Well, how about this? 108 00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:26,641 This thing says my mother's still alive! 109 00:04:26,724 --> 00:04:28,476 She died when I was a kid! 110 00:04:28,559 --> 00:04:29,978 You see that stone angel up there? 111 00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:32,021 That's my mother's grave. 112 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,732 My Dad points it out every time we drive by. 113 00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:36,401 Mr. Simpson, uh... 114 00:04:36,484 --> 00:04:37,652 maybe you should actually 115 00:04:37,735 --> 00:04:38,945 go up there. 116 00:04:39,028 --> 00:04:40,029 Huh? 117 00:04:41,572 --> 00:04:44,325 Oh, Mom, I'm sorry I never come to see you. 118 00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:46,119 I'm just not a cemetery person. 119 00:04:46,202 --> 00:04:48,454 "Here lies... 120 00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:49,789 Walt Whitman"? 121 00:04:49,872 --> 00:04:51,207 (yelling) 122 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:52,709 Damn you, Walt Whitman! 123 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:57,046 I-hate-you- Walt-freakin'-Whitman! 124 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,590 Leaves of Grass, my ass! 125 00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:01,467 Wait a minute. 126 00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:05,680 Maybe it's that other grave-- the one that says "Simpson"! 127 00:05:05,763 --> 00:05:06,723 (shrieking) 128 00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:08,308 Oh! 129 00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:10,810 Why does my death keep coming back to haunt me? 130 00:05:10,893 --> 00:05:12,061 Oh! 131 00:05:13,771 --> 00:05:15,940 You awful, awful man! 132 00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:17,734 Get out of my son's grave! 133 00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:21,195 I hate to rain on your parade, lady, but this is my grave. 134 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:22,572 Hey... 135 00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:23,781 wait a minute... 136 00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:25,158 Mom? 137 00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:26,701 Homer? 138 00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:31,372 I thought you were dead! 139 00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:33,291 I thought you were dead! 140 00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:35,126 Oh, dang blast it. 141 00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:37,962 Isn't anybody in this dad-gummed cemetery dead? 142 00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:40,131 I didn't want to cause a fuss 143 00:05:40,214 --> 00:05:41,758 but now that you mention it... 144 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:49,265 Oh, Homer, you grew up so handsome. 145 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,309 Some people say I look like Dan Aykroyd. 146 00:05:52,935 --> 00:05:54,896 I can't believe you're here. 147 00:05:54,979 --> 00:05:57,565 Dad always told me you died while I was at the movies. 148 00:05:57,648 --> 00:06:00,234 Oh, my poor baby. 149 00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:03,404 You must have been so upset. 150 00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:05,406 But I suppose Abe has his reasons. 151 00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:08,451 Yeah, well... where have you been all this time? 152 00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:11,287 Oh, it's a very complicated story. 153 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,872 Let's just enjoy this moment. 154 00:06:12,955 --> 00:06:15,291 Mom, there's something you should know about me. 155 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,335 I almost always spoil the moment. 156 00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:21,339 (burping) 157 00:06:21,422 --> 00:06:22,673 I'm sorry. 158 00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:24,425 That's okay, darling. 159 00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:25,426 It wasn't your fault. 160 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:30,681 Hey, everybody, I got a big surprise for you. 161 00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:33,267 Presenting... my mother! 162 00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:35,353 (gasps) 163 00:06:35,436 --> 00:06:36,396 Your mother? That's Grandma Simpson? 164 00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:38,231 Can you believe it? 165 00:06:38,314 --> 00:06:39,315 I thought she was dead. 166 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,316 Hello. 167 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,692 This is so weird. 168 00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:43,444 It's like something out of Dickens 169 00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:44,904 or Melrose Place. 170 00:06:44,987 --> 00:06:46,280 Where have you been, Granny? 171 00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:47,281 Did they freeze you or something? 172 00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:48,574 (laughing) 173 00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:50,535 Oh, my, such clever grandchildren. 174 00:06:50,618 --> 00:06:54,038 So full of questions and bright, shiny eyes. 175 00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:55,623 I don't know what to say. 176 00:06:55,706 --> 00:06:56,958 I finally have a mother-in-law. 177 00:06:57,041 --> 00:06:58,584 (giggling) 178 00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:00,962 No more living vicariously through my girlfriends. 179 00:07:01,045 --> 00:07:02,672 (giggles and coughs) 180 00:07:02,755 --> 00:07:03,881 Hey. 181 00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:05,341 Since you were a no-show 182 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,051 at all the big moments of my life, 183 00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:09,554 you owe me years of back presents. 184 00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:13,349 Christmases, birthdays, Easters, Kwanzas, good report cards... 185 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:16,436 Hmm. 75 bucks a pop plus interest and penalties... 186 00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:19,188 You owe me $22,000. 187 00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:20,440 I'll Kwanza you! 188 00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:22,358 Gaa! Gaa! 189 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,902 Homer, don't be so hard on little... 190 00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:26,529 (whispering) What is his name? 191 00:07:26,612 --> 00:07:27,989 This is my room. 192 00:07:28,072 --> 00:07:29,907 This is my dresser. 193 00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:31,534 It's where I keep my shirts when I'm not wearing them. 194 00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:34,078 Oh, yes, right in the drawers. 195 00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:35,580 (both laughing) 196 00:07:37,373 --> 00:07:39,959 You remembered. 197 00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:44,547 Oh, I've missed moments like this... Mom. 198 00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:46,424 I saw all your awards, Lisa. 199 00:07:46,507 --> 00:07:48,092 They're mighty impressive. 200 00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:50,344 Oh, I just keep them out to bug Bart. 201 00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:51,596 Don't be bashful. 202 00:07:51,679 --> 00:07:53,556 When I was your age, kids made fun of me 203 00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:55,558 because I read at the ninth-grade level. 204 00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:57,268 Me too! 205 00:07:57,351 --> 00:07:58,478 Hey, Mom, look at me! 206 00:07:58,561 --> 00:08:00,271 Look at what I can do! 207 00:08:00,354 --> 00:08:01,355 I see you, Homer. 208 00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:02,857 That's very nice. 209 00:08:02,940 --> 00:08:05,776 Although I hardly consider "A Separate Peace" 210 00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:06,903 the ninth-grade level. 211 00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:08,571 Yeah, more like preschool. 212 00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:09,572 I hate John Knowles. 213 00:08:09,655 --> 00:08:10,573 Me too. 214 00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:13,284 (both laughing) 215 00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:15,536 (both sighing) 216 00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:18,206 Mom, you're not looking! 217 00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:20,291 You know, Lisa, I feel like I have 218 00:08:20,374 --> 00:08:22,460 an instant rapport with you. 219 00:08:22,543 --> 00:08:24,837 (gasps) You didn't dumb it down. 220 00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:26,797 You said "rapport." 221 00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:30,426 Got to run. Grandma stuff. 222 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:36,766 Huh? 223 00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:38,976 (turns dryer on) 224 00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:40,811 There. Now no one should be able to hear us. 225 00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:41,812 What? 226 00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:43,231 (turns dryer off) 227 00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:44,232 All right, we don't need the dryer. 228 00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:45,274 What?! 229 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:47,318 Just shut up and listen. 230 00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:49,278 There's something fishy about Grandma. 231 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,405 Whenever we ask her where she's been all this time 232 00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:52,949 she changes the subject. 233 00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:54,575 And just now when a police car drove by 234 00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:56,118 she ran into the house. 235 00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:57,662 Yeah, I don't trust her, either. 236 00:08:57,745 --> 00:08:58,996 When I was going through her purse 237 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,039 look what I found. 238 00:09:00,122 --> 00:09:01,499 LISA: "Mona Simpson." 239 00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:02,833 "Mona Stevens." 240 00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:04,085 "Martha Stewart." 241 00:09:04,168 --> 00:09:05,336 "Penelope Olsen." 242 00:09:05,419 --> 00:09:07,838 "Muddy Mae Suggins." 243 00:09:07,922 --> 00:09:10,633 These are the calling cards of a con artist. 244 00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:13,803 Whoo-hoo! 245 00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:15,596 I'm so glad to have my Mom back. 246 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,099 I never realized how much I missed her. 247 00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:20,560 She's nice. 248 00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:22,186 But? 249 00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:23,938 I just don't think you should get too excited 250 00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:26,899 about the woman who abandoned you for 25 years. 251 00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,317 You could get hurt again. 252 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:31,070 First, it wasn't 25 years. 253 00:09:31,153 --> 00:09:33,155 It was 27 years. 254 00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:35,366 And second, she had a very good reason. 255 00:09:35,449 --> 00:09:36,492 Which was? 256 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,536 I don't know. 257 00:09:38,619 --> 00:09:40,871 I guess I was just a horrible son 258 00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:42,498 (crying) and no mother would want me. 259 00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:43,916 Oh, Homie. 260 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,085 Come on, you're a sweet, kind, loving man. 261 00:09:46,168 --> 00:09:48,421 I'm sure you were a wonderful son. 262 00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:50,256 Then why did she leave me? 263 00:09:50,339 --> 00:09:51,591 Let's find out. 264 00:09:54,510 --> 00:09:56,345 Mother Simpson, we'd like to ask you 265 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,097 a few questions about your past. 266 00:09:58,180 --> 00:09:59,724 Can't reminisce. Sleeping. 267 00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:01,183 (snoring) 268 00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:04,562 Spill it, Muddy Mae, or we're calling the cops. 269 00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:06,063 Please don't. 270 00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:08,649 Alright, then we'll call your husband-- Grampa. 271 00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:10,234 No! I'll talk. 272 00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:11,360 I'll tell you everything. 273 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:12,945 I've wanted to tell you. 274 00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:16,574 It all started in the '60s. 275 00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:20,161 Take out wrenched ankle. 276 00:10:20,244 --> 00:10:21,287 (buzzing) 277 00:10:21,370 --> 00:10:24,832 Mom! Mom! Mom! 278 00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:27,877 Oh, my little Homie Bear. 279 00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:30,546 Time for bed. 280 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,715 Sing me my bedtime song, Mom. 281 00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:35,968 ♪ Ooey, gooey, rich and chewy inside ♪ 282 00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:39,055 ♪ Golden, flaky, tender, cakey outside ♪ 283 00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:40,514 ♪ Wrap the inside in the outside ♪ 284 00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:41,515 ♪ Is it good? ♪ 285 00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:42,642 Darn tootin'. 286 00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:44,894 ♪ Doing the big Fig Newton ♪ 287 00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:45,895 Here's the tricky part. 288 00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:46,937 (snoring) 289 00:10:52,401 --> 00:10:54,445 Abe, isn't Homer cute? 290 00:10:54,528 --> 00:10:56,739 Probably. I'm trying to watch the Super Bowl. 291 00:10:56,822 --> 00:10:59,116 If people don't support this thing, it might not make it. 292 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:02,328 Joe Willie Namath swaggering off the field 293 00:11:02,411 --> 00:11:06,707 his sideburns an apogee of sculpted sartorium. 294 00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:10,127 The foppish follicles pioneered by Ambrose Burnside 295 00:11:10,211 --> 00:11:12,672 Appomattox, 1865. 296 00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:17,551 ("Sunshine of Your Love" plays) 297 00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:20,554 MONA: His wild, untamed facial hair 298 00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:24,183 revealed a new world of rebellion, of change 299 00:11:24,266 --> 00:11:27,603 a world where doors were open for women like me. 300 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,730 But Abe was stuck in his button-down 301 00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:32,566 plastic-fantastic Madison Avenue scene. 302 00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:33,943 Look at them sideburns. 303 00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:35,569 He looks like a girl. 304 00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:37,571 Now, Johnny Unitas-- there's a haircut 305 00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:39,156 you could set your watch to. 306 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,701 So Mother Simpson, where did your newfound sense 307 00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:43,494 of irresponsibility take you? 308 00:11:43,577 --> 00:11:45,246 I soon found people who shared my views 309 00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:47,790 at the state college. 310 00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:51,419 (all chanting) Anthrax, gangrene, swimmer's ear 311 00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:55,631 get your germ lab out of here. 312 00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,550 How could I not become a radical 313 00:11:57,633 --> 00:11:58,592 when we were fighting 314 00:11:58,676 --> 00:11:59,969 a force of pure evil? 315 00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:01,637 (all chanting) Hey, hey, Mr. Burns 316 00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,681 enough already with the germs. 317 00:12:03,764 --> 00:12:08,269 Their flower power is no match for my glower power. 318 00:12:08,352 --> 00:12:09,478 Ooh! 319 00:12:12,231 --> 00:12:14,817 That's some nice glowering, Mr. B. 320 00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:17,820 We'd met the enemy and it was Montgomery Burns. 321 00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:20,656 Drastic action had to be taken to stop 322 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,116 his war machine. 323 00:12:22,199 --> 00:12:25,494 I put Homer to bed, Abe, and now I'm going out. 324 00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:26,787 It could be a late night. 325 00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:28,247 I'm meeting my destiny. 326 00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:29,749 So long. 327 00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:32,543 ("Along the Watchtower" plays) 328 00:12:37,715 --> 00:12:39,175 When this baby goes off 329 00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:41,844 Burns' lab is going to be history, man. 330 00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:43,179 Germ history! 331 00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:45,806 (laughing) 332 00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:47,183 Oh, man, I got the munchies. 333 00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:50,770 (ringing) 334 00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:06,035 (coughing) 335 00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:08,788 No! No! 336 00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:09,789 Wait a minute. 337 00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:11,457 (inhales) 338 00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:12,792 Bronchial tubes clearing. 339 00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:14,752 Asthma disappearing. 340 00:13:14,835 --> 00:13:16,670 Acne... remains. 341 00:13:16,754 --> 00:13:18,422 But asthma disappearing. 342 00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:20,090 (alarm ringing) 343 00:13:20,174 --> 00:13:21,091 My germs. 344 00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:22,343 My precious germs. 345 00:13:22,426 --> 00:13:23,677 They never harmed a soul. 346 00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:24,804 They never even had a chance. 347 00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:26,138 Whoever did this 348 00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:27,723 will never get past me! 349 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:28,766 (all yelling) 350 00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:33,646 You poor man. 351 00:13:33,729 --> 00:13:35,064 Let me help you up. 352 00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:39,026 You 353 00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:40,694 just made a very big mistake. 354 00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:42,905 You'll spend the rest of your life in pri-- 355 00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:44,865 My asthma's gone. 356 00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:46,075 Listen to me breathe. 357 00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:47,076 (snorting) 358 00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:48,452 Wah! 359 00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:49,703 (snorting) 360 00:13:49,787 --> 00:13:50,704 Wah! 361 00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:51,872 From that moment on 362 00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:54,834 my life as I knew it was over. 363 00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,293 Only one member 364 00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:57,837 of the Springfield Seven was identified. 365 00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:58,838 She's been described as a woman 366 00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:00,589 in her early 30s 367 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:03,467 yellow complexion and may be extremely helpful. 368 00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:06,303 For Channel Six News, I'm Kenny Brockelstein. 369 00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:07,638 Homer? 370 00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:14,603 (sobbing) 371 00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:15,688 I'll miss you, Homer. 372 00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:21,902 I thought I dreamed that kiss. 373 00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:24,363 (sniffling) 374 00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:26,907 I'm so sorry I misjudged you, Mom. 375 00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:29,201 You had to leave to protect your family. 376 00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:30,828 How did you survive? 377 00:14:30,911 --> 00:14:33,080 Oh, I had help from my friends in the underground. 378 00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:34,748 Jerry Rubin gave me a job 379 00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:36,709 marketing his line of health shakes. 380 00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:38,752 I proofread Bobby Seale's cookbook 381 00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:40,170 and I ran credit checks 382 00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:41,630 at Tom Hayden's Porsche dealership. 383 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,173 Wait a minute. 384 00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:45,217 There's one thing I don't understand. 385 00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:48,596 In all those years, why didn't you ever try to contact me? 386 00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:49,972 But I did. 387 00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:51,891 I sent you a care package every week. 388 00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:53,767 Aw come on, Mom. We use that same line 389 00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:55,311 on the kids when they're at camp. 390 00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:56,812 But I did. I really did. 391 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:57,771 I'll prove it to you. 392 00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:02,985 Any undelivered mail for Homer J. Simpson? 393 00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:05,529 No... oh, wait. This. 394 00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:07,281 That's what happens 395 00:15:07,364 --> 00:15:08,908 when you don't tip your letter carrier at Christmas. 396 00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:10,367 Yes, I'd like to send this letter 397 00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:12,912 to the Prussian consulate in Siam by aeromail. 398 00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:15,164 Am I too late for the 4:30 auto-gyro? 399 00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:17,541 Uh... I better look in the manual. 400 00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:19,001 Oh, the ignorance. 401 00:15:21,545 --> 00:15:22,463 Wait a minute. 402 00:15:22,546 --> 00:15:24,381 I know that woman. 403 00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:25,382 But from when, 404 00:15:25,466 --> 00:15:27,968 and in what capacity? 405 00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:29,011 (gasping) 406 00:15:29,094 --> 00:15:30,012 It's her. 407 00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:31,138 At last. 408 00:15:31,221 --> 00:15:32,890 This book must be out of date. 409 00:15:32,973 --> 00:15:35,893 I don't see Prussia, Siam or auto-gyro. 410 00:15:35,976 --> 00:15:37,478 Well, keep looking. 411 00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:39,104 (gasps) 412 00:15:42,566 --> 00:15:44,944 Are you sure this is the woman you saw in the Post Office? 413 00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:46,195 Absolutely. 414 00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:47,196 Who could forget such a monstrous visage? 415 00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:48,530 She has the sloping brow 416 00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:50,908 and cranial bumpage of the career criminal. 417 00:15:50,991 --> 00:15:52,284 Uh, sir, phrenology was dismissed 418 00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:53,911 as quackery 160 years ago. 419 00:15:53,994 --> 00:15:55,496 Of course, you'd say that 420 00:15:55,579 --> 00:15:57,873 You have the brainpan of a stagecoach tilter. 421 00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,792 At any rate, the F.B.I. will track down 422 00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:02,586 this mystery woman and put her behind bars. 423 00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:05,798 How does it happen, Joe? 424 00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:06,799 How does what happen? 425 00:16:06,882 --> 00:16:08,300 How does a sweet young lady 426 00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:11,011 mortgage her future for a bunch of scraggly ideals 427 00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:13,180 and greasy-haired promises? 428 00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:14,932 Maybe she thought the war on southeast Asia was so immoral 429 00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:16,350 her end justified the means. 430 00:16:16,433 --> 00:16:18,686 Gee, Joe, you haven't been the same 431 00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:21,063 since your son went crazy in Vietnam. 432 00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:22,189 It's a pain that never ends. 433 00:16:22,272 --> 00:16:23,565 (Dragnet theme playing) 434 00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:30,447 ♪ How many roads must a man walk down ♪ 435 00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:33,617 ♪ Before you can call him a man? ♪ 436 00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:35,744 Seven! 437 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:37,871 No, Dad, it's a rhetorical question. 438 00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:39,081 Rhetorical, eh? 439 00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:40,624 Eight. 440 00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,876 Dad, do you even know what "rhetorical" means? 441 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,712 Do I know what "rhetorical" means? 442 00:16:44,795 --> 00:16:46,255 (doorbell rings) 443 00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:47,631 Quick, Grandma, hide! 444 00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:51,051 (pounding) 445 00:16:51,135 --> 00:16:52,970 (crashing) 446 00:16:53,053 --> 00:16:56,890 No door is going to keep me from my meddlin'. 447 00:16:56,974 --> 00:16:57,975 Stand up straight, Bart. 448 00:16:58,058 --> 00:16:59,810 Abe? 449 00:16:59,893 --> 00:17:02,229 What the... 450 00:17:02,312 --> 00:17:04,690 Now, here's a piece of bad news. 451 00:17:04,773 --> 00:17:08,360 Oh, Abe. You've aged terribly. 452 00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:09,820 What do you expect? 453 00:17:09,903 --> 00:17:12,239 You left me to raise the boy on my own. 454 00:17:12,322 --> 00:17:15,492 I had to leave, but you didn't have to tell Homer I was dead! 455 00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:17,369 It was either that or tell him 456 00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:20,289 his mother was a wanted criminal. 457 00:17:20,372 --> 00:17:22,291 You were a rotten wife 458 00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:25,335 and I'll never, ever forgive you. 459 00:17:27,212 --> 00:17:28,964 Can we have sex? Please? 460 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,382 Oh, Abe. 461 00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:32,092 Well, I tried. What's for supper? 462 00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:35,971 Yeah, I might have seen her. It's hard to tell 463 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,639 from this old picture, you know? 464 00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:40,225 Well, according to our computer-aging program 465 00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:42,311 she should look about... 466 00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:44,521 25 years older. 467 00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:46,148 Yeah, I seen her. 468 00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:48,067 Uh, that is to say, I saw her. 469 00:17:51,695 --> 00:17:53,322 Look at me, Grandma. I'm a hippie. 470 00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:55,074 Peace, man. Groovy. 471 00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:56,158 Bomb Vietnam! 472 00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:58,118 Four more years! Up with people! 473 00:17:58,202 --> 00:18:00,996 You know, Grandma, I used to think maybe I was adopted. 474 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,582 I couldn't understand how I fit into this family. 475 00:18:03,665 --> 00:18:04,958 Now that I met you 476 00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:07,086 I suddenly make a lot of sense. 477 00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:11,882 I'm so glad to see the spirit of the '60s 478 00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:14,051 is still alive in you kids. 479 00:18:14,134 --> 00:18:16,261 (Laugh-In theme playing) 480 00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:24,812 Yup, I saw her. 481 00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:26,647 That is to say, I seen her. 482 00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:28,482 She seemed like a nice lady. 483 00:18:28,565 --> 00:18:30,109 Well, that "nice lady" 484 00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:32,903 set the cause of biological warfare back 30 years. 485 00:18:32,986 --> 00:18:34,571 We're only now finally caught up. 486 00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:37,449 Two more ladies come by earlier that day. 487 00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:40,744 One was real pretty. 488 00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:42,496 T'other, sort of plain. 489 00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:46,625 Ma'am, we're going to need your assistance 490 00:18:46,708 --> 00:18:47,918 in locating this individual. 491 00:18:48,001 --> 00:18:51,547 (chuckling) Oh, you're fresh. 492 00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:53,799 Don't you want to play "good cop, bad cop"? 493 00:18:53,882 --> 00:18:55,092 Ma'am, we're all good cops. 494 00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:57,636 I had no intention of playing the good cop. 495 00:18:57,719 --> 00:18:58,929 (chuckles) 496 00:18:59,012 --> 00:19:00,180 Ew. 497 00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:01,723 Look, we know you bought the tombstone. 498 00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,600 We know the fugitive visited that tombstone. 499 00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:05,769 Whose tombstone was it? 500 00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:08,730 Just lift up your coffee cups and see. 501 00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:10,315 (gasps) 502 00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:12,025 Good Lord. 503 00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:16,780 Put out an A.P.B. On a "Uosdwis R. Dewoh." 504 00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:18,574 Uh, better start with Greektown. 505 00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:19,741 That's Homer J. Simpson, Chief. 506 00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:20,993 You're reading it upside down. 507 00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:23,412 Uh, cancel that A.P.B. 508 00:19:23,495 --> 00:19:26,123 But bring back some of them, uh, gyros. 509 00:19:26,206 --> 00:19:27,875 Uh, Chief, you're talking into your wallet. 510 00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:30,836 Grandma, have you ever thought 511 00:19:30,919 --> 00:19:32,212 about moving back to Springfield? 512 00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:33,839 You could live with Grampa again. 513 00:19:33,922 --> 00:19:36,216 (laughter) 514 00:19:39,761 --> 00:19:41,471 Oh, I'm a living joke. 515 00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:42,848 You know, Lisa... 516 00:19:42,931 --> 00:19:44,016 (phone rings) 517 00:19:44,099 --> 00:19:46,185 it might be nice to rest for a while. 518 00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:47,603 Mom? 519 00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:49,021 There's nothing to be alarmed about, 520 00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:51,440 but could you take one last look at the family 521 00:19:51,523 --> 00:19:52,524 and join me in the kitchen? 522 00:19:55,485 --> 00:19:59,656 I've been waiting 25 years for this moment. 523 00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:02,868 ("Ride of the Valkyries" playing) 524 00:20:02,951 --> 00:20:04,119 ("Waterloo" playing) 525 00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:10,000 I'm sorry, sir. I must have taped over that. 526 00:20:10,083 --> 00:20:13,587 (volume increasing) ♪ Knowing my fate is to be with you ♪ 527 00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:16,298 Freeze. 528 00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:17,716 F.B.I. The jig is up. 529 00:20:17,799 --> 00:20:19,009 All right, I admit it! 530 00:20:19,092 --> 00:20:21,053 I am the Lindbergh baby. 531 00:20:21,136 --> 00:20:22,721 Wah-wah. Goo, goo. 532 00:20:22,804 --> 00:20:24,556 I miss my fly-fly da-da. 533 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,683 Are you trying to stall us, or are you just senile? 534 00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:29,519 A little from column "a," a little from column "b." 535 00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:31,271 (panting) Sir... 536 00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:32,356 she's gone. 537 00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,654 We made it, Homer. 538 00:20:38,737 --> 00:20:40,864 It's all thanks to our anonymous tipster. 539 00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:44,076 But who are you and why did you tip us off? 540 00:20:44,159 --> 00:20:46,245 Well, it's 'cause of your old lady that I got rid 541 00:20:46,328 --> 00:20:48,747 of the asthma that was keeping me out of the academy. 542 00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:50,082 Thanks. 543 00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:52,542 Sure. Just think of me as an anonymous friend 544 00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:55,212 who rose through the ranks of the Springfield Police 545 00:20:55,295 --> 00:20:56,838 to become Chief Clancy Wig... 546 00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:57,923 (dial tone) 547 00:20:58,006 --> 00:20:59,508 Yak, yak, yak, yak, yak. 548 00:21:02,010 --> 00:21:02,928 (horn beeping) 549 00:21:03,011 --> 00:21:04,846 Well, there's my ride. 550 00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:06,890 The underground awaits. 551 00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:10,269 (sniffling) At least this time I'm awake for your good-bye. 552 00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:12,771 (sniffing) Oh, Homer. 553 00:21:12,854 --> 00:21:14,898 Remember: whatever happens, 554 00:21:14,982 --> 00:21:16,191 you have a mother 555 00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:18,568 and she's truly proud of you. 556 00:21:21,071 --> 00:21:23,115 Oh... 557 00:21:23,198 --> 00:21:25,450 Oh! Hurry up, man. 558 00:21:25,534 --> 00:21:28,495 This electric van only has 20 minutes of juice left. 559 00:21:30,205 --> 00:21:31,790 Don't forget me. 560 00:21:31,873 --> 00:21:32,916 Don't worry, Homer. 561 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,043 You'll always be a part of me. 562 00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,211 D'oh! 563 00:21:54,438 --> 00:21:56,648 {\an8}♪♪ 564 00:22:41,318 --> 00:22:42,402 Shh! 565 00:22:45,238 --> 00:22:48,450 {\an8}CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.