1 00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:06,589 {\an8}♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:07,799 (tires screech) 3 00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:10,719 D'oh! 4 00:00:10,802 --> 00:00:12,345 -Aah! -(tires screech) 5 00:00:35,618 --> 00:00:38,496 {\an8}Grampa! I don't mind when you spit at home, 6 00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:39,748 {\an8}but I have to work with these people. 7 00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:41,458 {\an8}Oh, jabberjack. 8 00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:42,959 {\an8}Schoolhouse don't put out spittoons. 9 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,545 {\an8}I ain't responsible. (spits) 10 00:00:45,628 --> 00:00:49,466 {\an8}All right, seniors. We'd all love to share in your wisdom, experience-- 11 00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:51,051 {\an8}Yadda, yadda, yadda. 12 00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:53,053 {\an8}Let's start with Milhouse's grandfather. 13 00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:55,597 {\an8}Uh, how many of you have a house? 14 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:57,557 {\an8}All right. Now, how many of you 15 00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:59,392 {\an8}drove your house to school today? 16 00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:01,728 {\an8}-(kids muttering) -Huh? 17 00:01:01,811 --> 00:01:04,355 {\an8}Well, I did. (chuckles) 18 00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:06,274 {\an8}No, I'm not Superman. 19 00:01:06,357 --> 00:01:08,276 {\an8}I just own an R.V. 20 00:01:08,359 --> 00:01:10,403 {\an8}Me and the new wife travel the country 21 00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:12,572 {\an8}searching for adventure. 22 00:01:12,655 --> 00:01:16,701 {\an8}Last fall, we won a chili cook-off in Beaumont, Texas. 23 00:01:16,785 --> 00:01:19,037 {\an8}CHILDREN: Wow. 24 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:20,997 {\an8}You're living in a fool's paradise, Van Houten. 25 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:24,084 {\an8}If you fell down in the shower, that thing would be your tomb. 26 00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:27,712 {\an8}Grampa, hush. Here, why don't you spit some more? 27 00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:29,214 (chuckles) 28 00:01:29,297 --> 00:01:30,924 No, I'm not Superman. 29 00:01:31,007 --> 00:01:31,966 I'm a judge. 30 00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:33,468 Why, just this morning, 31 00:01:33,551 --> 00:01:35,512 I sentenced my 46th man to death. 32 00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:37,472 Oh-- No, 47th. 33 00:01:37,555 --> 00:01:39,808 (applause) 34 00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:43,645 Wow, 47. I love you, Grampa. 35 00:01:43,728 --> 00:01:46,940 Yeah, well-- I may not have a fancy black bathrobe 36 00:01:47,023 --> 00:01:48,983 and a hammer like Snooty, 37 00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:51,736 but I do have slippers and an oatmeal spoon. Look. 38 00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:52,862 (kids snickering) 39 00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:55,448 Bart, perhaps your grandfather 40 00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:56,991 would like to come up front now 41 00:01:57,075 --> 00:01:58,618 and give someone else a chance to interrupt. 42 00:01:58,701 --> 00:02:00,411 Oh, please, no. 43 00:02:00,495 --> 00:02:02,372 -'Bout time, Knothead. -Aah! 44 00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:05,583 Now... 45 00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:08,253 Hey, listen! 46 00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:11,506 Now, my story begins in 19-dickety-two. 47 00:02:11,589 --> 00:02:13,341 We had to say "dickety" 48 00:02:13,424 --> 00:02:15,969 'cause the Kaiser had stolen our word "twenty." 49 00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:18,513 I chased that rascal to get it back 50 00:02:18,596 --> 00:02:21,516 but gave up after dickety-six miles. 51 00:02:21,599 --> 00:02:23,518 (Martin chortles) "Dickety"? 52 00:02:23,601 --> 00:02:24,602 Highly dubious. 53 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:26,104 What you cackling at, fatty? 54 00:02:26,187 --> 00:02:28,898 Too much pie, that's your problem. 55 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:32,193 Now, I 'd like to digress from my prepared remarks 56 00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:35,530 to discuss how I invented the terlet. 57 00:02:35,613 --> 00:02:37,031 "Terlet." Ha! 58 00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:39,117 (all laughing) 59 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:40,451 Stop your snickering. 60 00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:41,953 I spent three years on that terlet. 61 00:02:50,044 --> 00:02:51,921 And then he claimed he was the one 62 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:54,632 who turned cats and dogs against each other. 63 00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:57,302 Why is he always making up those crazy stories? 64 00:02:57,385 --> 00:02:59,637 Maybe it's time we put Grampa in a home. 65 00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:02,182 You already put him in a home. 66 00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:03,683 Maybe it's time we put him in one where he can't get out. 67 00:03:03,766 --> 00:03:05,602 No! Old people deserve our respect. 68 00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:07,854 Look at Jacques Cousteau and Goldie Hawn. 69 00:03:07,937 --> 00:03:10,148 You wouldn't shut them away like second-class citizens. 70 00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:11,608 Second-class? 71 00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:14,027 What about Social Security, 72 00:03:14,110 --> 00:03:16,738 bus discounts, MedicAlert jewelry, 73 00:03:16,821 --> 00:03:18,448 Gold Bond powder, 74 00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:20,366 pants all the way up to your armpits, 75 00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:21,826 and all those other senior perks? 76 00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:24,996 Oh, if you ask me, old folks have it pretty sweet. 77 00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:30,668 (groans) Let's see. 78 00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,003 Ehh... 79 00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:35,465 (sighs) 80 00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:39,093 (muttering) 81 00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:41,554 Eh, this junk was hardly worth getting up for. 82 00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:43,890 Maybe if I go back to sleep for a few days, 83 00:03:43,973 --> 00:03:45,600 some good mail will build up. 84 00:03:45,683 --> 00:03:47,310 Hey, what's this? 85 00:03:48,436 --> 00:03:49,437 "Asa Phelps has--" 86 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:50,480 (gasps) 87 00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:52,523 The Seventh Hellfish is dead? 88 00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:56,486 That means the fortune's almost mine. 89 00:04:04,827 --> 00:04:08,748 Asa Phelps spent his entire life in Springfield 90 00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:11,084 except for four years' service 91 00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:14,254 in World War II, and one high school day-trip. 92 00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:17,590 He worked at the United Strut and Bracing Works 93 00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:20,760 as a molder's boy until he was replaced 94 00:04:20,843 --> 00:04:23,721 by a molder-matic and died. 95 00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:40,738 Would you do the honors? 96 00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:48,955 Well, Simpson, seven gone. 97 00:04:49,038 --> 00:04:51,666 As soon as you're in your pressboard coffin, 98 00:04:51,749 --> 00:04:54,711 I'll be the sole survivor, and the treasure will be mine. 99 00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:56,629 Over my dead body it will. 100 00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,923 That's exactly the point-- 101 00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:01,634 Oh, Simpson, can't you go five seconds 102 00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,219 without humiliating yourself? 103 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,470 (boinging) 104 00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:09,183 How long was that? 105 00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:11,519 Your clownish behavior notwithstanding, 106 00:05:11,602 --> 00:05:13,396 we have made a gentlemen's agreement 107 00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:16,482 and sworn on our lives to honor it. 108 00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:19,235 Smithers, I want that man killed. 109 00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:23,323 (boinging) 110 00:05:26,784 --> 00:05:29,579 Let's see, "mesmerists, dowsers, luddites, 111 00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:32,206 alienists, Zoroastrians, alphabetizers--" 112 00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:34,208 Aha! "Assassins." 113 00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:37,587 I was wondering, sir, do we really need to, uh, 114 00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:39,672 "settle" Abe Simpson? 115 00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,466 I mean, I 'm familiar with his physical state and-- 116 00:05:41,549 --> 00:05:44,427 Perhaps if we wait, nature will assassinate him for us. 117 00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:46,095 Well, I can't risk it. 118 00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:47,472 I won't allow that Simpson boy 119 00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:49,098 to take the Hellfish bonanza, 120 00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:51,059 and I can't get it without his key. 121 00:05:51,142 --> 00:05:53,394 Ah, just the man I need. 122 00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:57,690 Fernando Vidal, the world's most devious assassin. 123 00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:01,235 (phone ringing) 124 00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:02,278 Hola. 125 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,489 BURNS: Fernando, it's M.B. 126 00:06:04,572 --> 00:06:06,324 Ah, Marion Barry. 127 00:06:06,407 --> 00:06:08,868 Is it time for another shipment already? 128 00:06:08,951 --> 00:06:10,912 This is Montgomery Burns. 129 00:06:10,995 --> 00:06:12,330 Oh, caramba. 130 00:06:12,413 --> 00:06:14,707 I'm sending you a photo over the faxtrola. 131 00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:16,751 I need you to fly to Springfield 132 00:06:16,834 --> 00:06:18,920 and assassinate this man, post-haste. 133 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:26,427 Ah, Del Monte. 134 00:06:28,012 --> 00:06:29,764 Enjoy them, old man. 135 00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:32,016 They will be your last. 136 00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:38,272 (snoring) 137 00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:45,905 (alarm ringing) I'm up! I'm up! 138 00:06:49,283 --> 00:06:52,954 Ah, he's more clever than he looks. 139 00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:57,875 -(buzzing) -WOMAN (on speaker): Abraham Simpson, 140 00:06:57,959 --> 00:06:59,836 your family is here to visit you. 141 00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:02,213 Hot diggity, my family's come to visit me! 142 00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:05,258 Wait a minute. 143 00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:07,343 My family never comes to vi-- 144 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:08,719 (yells) 145 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,099 D'oh, not again! 146 00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:16,477 I can't take much more of your blundering numskullery. 147 00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:18,229 I'll be in the car, dudes. 148 00:07:22,733 --> 00:07:25,027 There is one more way to kill a man, 149 00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,989 but it is as intricate and precise 150 00:07:28,072 --> 00:07:31,325 as a well-played game of chess. 151 00:07:36,038 --> 00:07:38,082 Was that me, or was that you? 152 00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:48,092 Nurse! Nurse! Someone's trying to kill me! 153 00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:50,470 Okay, we'll do something about that right away. 154 00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:52,680 Let's start by doubling your medication. 155 00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:58,186 The residents... 156 00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:00,188 are trying... 157 00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:01,606 to nap! 158 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:04,358 (pounding on door) 159 00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:05,651 Let me in! 160 00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:07,361 Someone's trying to kill me! 161 00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:11,157 Sweet merciful McGillicuddy, you got to open the door! 162 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:12,492 Who is it? 163 00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:14,577 It's Grampa. 164 00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:17,747 And it sounds like he's gotten into the horseradish again. 165 00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:21,000 And then a knife flew at my head, 166 00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:22,793 and you were there-- 167 00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:25,421 And you were there. 168 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:28,090 Uh, Grampa, maybe I should moisten your washcloth. 169 00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:29,884 It's plenty moist! 170 00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:32,136 Listen, Monty Burns is trying to kill me, 171 00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:33,638 and it's all because-- 172 00:08:33,721 --> 00:08:35,640 Of, um-- I can't tell you why. 173 00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:38,059 Well, I 'm sure you'll make up something. 174 00:08:38,142 --> 00:08:40,019 Maybe you just need more of my classmates around. 175 00:08:40,102 --> 00:08:41,854 I got to hole up here for a while. 176 00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:45,233 They might still be after me. 177 00:08:45,316 --> 00:08:47,652 Wow, he's even more agitated than usual. 178 00:08:47,735 --> 00:08:49,237 Maybe we should let him stay. 179 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:50,613 Where are we going to put him? 180 00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:51,781 -Bart's room. -Bart's room. 181 00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:53,241 -Bart's room. -Dumpster. 182 00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:00,623 Sorry to crowd you, boy, 183 00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:02,500 but I'll let you in on a secret. 184 00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:04,168 Burns is after me 185 00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:06,921 'cause he wants the Hellfish bonanza. 186 00:09:07,004 --> 00:09:08,506 Look, if you're going to stay in my room, 187 00:09:08,589 --> 00:09:11,217 could you at least stop making up gibberish? 188 00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:14,136 Gibberish, eh? Then what's this? 189 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,304 Wrinkly gibberish? 190 00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,598 Why, you smart-- 191 00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:22,603 I got this in the second World War II. 192 00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:25,523 {\an8}Back then, I was known as sergeant Simpson, 193 00:09:25,606 --> 00:09:28,401 {\an8}and I commanded the Flying Hellfish-- 194 00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:32,029 the fightingest squad in the fightingest company 195 00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:35,825 in the third-fightingest battalion in the army 196 00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:37,868 and we were all from Springfield. 197 00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:41,080 There was police chief Wiggum's father, Iggy Wiggum. 198 00:09:41,163 --> 00:09:44,584 Um, if anybody finds a grenade without a pin, that's mine. 199 00:09:46,335 --> 00:09:49,505 Our radioman, Sheldon Skinner. 200 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,924 All right, very funny. 201 00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:54,802 Well, I didn't join the service to make friends. 202 00:09:54,885 --> 00:09:56,596 And watching our backs 203 00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:59,682 was private fifth class Arnie Gumble. 204 00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:01,392 (loud belch) 205 00:10:01,475 --> 00:10:03,728 Then there was also Griff, Asa, Ox and Etch. 206 00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:06,480 But every unit has a troublemaker. 207 00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:10,735 Ours was a cocky little private named Montgomery Burns. 208 00:10:10,818 --> 00:10:11,944 (yawns) 209 00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:14,405 Haven't you won the war yet? 210 00:10:14,488 --> 00:10:16,866 Duh, hey, you said you was dead. 211 00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:19,577 Yes, dead tired. 212 00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:22,163 But I 'm quite refreshed now. Thank you. 213 00:10:22,246 --> 00:10:23,956 Mm-hmm. 214 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,917 You bossed around the richest, most powerful guy in town. 215 00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:29,670 How come you were a sergeant and he was only a private? 216 00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:31,922 Well, he got busted down 217 00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:34,091 for obstructing a probe from J. Edgar Hoover. 218 00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:35,509 We got stuck with him. 219 00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:39,221 (Grampa chuckles) 220 00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:42,933 Now they'll never save your brain, Hitler. 221 00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:47,521 A little help? 222 00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:50,483 (shells whistling and exploding) 223 00:10:50,566 --> 00:10:53,486 (whimpering) 224 00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:56,447 Boom! Boom, it went. Boom! Just like that. 225 00:10:56,530 --> 00:11:00,201 They took a photo of my keister for Stars and Stripes. 226 00:11:00,284 --> 00:11:03,329 At least they told me it was for Stars and Stripes. 227 00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:04,872 Well, if you saved Burns' life, 228 00:11:04,955 --> 00:11:06,624 why does he want to kill you? 229 00:11:06,707 --> 00:11:08,459 It was the closing days of the war. 230 00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:12,088 We had just flushed some Germans out of an abandoned castle-- 231 00:11:17,593 --> 00:11:21,847 -Hey, Burnsie found some pictures. -Wait a minute. 232 00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,849 We ain't a-sposed to steal from civilians. 233 00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:26,143 You want me to report you to Commander Flanders? 234 00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:27,436 Just leave them, Burnsie. 235 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,146 Leave them for whom, the Germans? 236 00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:30,815 The folks who shoot at us all day? 237 00:11:30,898 --> 00:11:32,233 Let's just take them. 238 00:11:32,316 --> 00:11:34,777 We'll all be rich, rich as Nazis. 239 00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:35,820 -Whoa! -Yeah. 240 00:11:35,903 --> 00:11:37,196 He's got a point there. 241 00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:38,739 Think of what a guy could get himself 242 00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:40,616 with that kind of scratch. 243 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,743 I could buy chicken dinners three times a day. 244 00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:46,080 I could buy a brand new Studebaker with a fan on the dashboard. 245 00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:47,832 I could buy my way into high-- 246 00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:48,833 (belches) 247 00:11:48,916 --> 00:11:50,376 ...society. 248 00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:52,044 Well, I don't feel right about it, 249 00:11:52,128 --> 00:11:54,088 but I could use a nest egg for retirement. 250 00:11:54,171 --> 00:11:57,174 I'd hate to wind up in one of them old folks' homes. 251 00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:59,218 Then it's agreed. 252 00:11:59,301 --> 00:12:00,970 Of course, we can't sell the paintings now. 253 00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:02,596 We'd be caught. 254 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,974 How many of you are familiar with the concept 255 00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:06,308 of a "tontine"? 256 00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:11,230 All right, Ox. Why don't you take us through it? 257 00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:14,400 Duh, essentially, we all enter into a contract 258 00:12:14,483 --> 00:12:16,986 whereby the last surviving participant 259 00:12:17,069 --> 00:12:20,489 becomes the sole possessor of all them purty pictures. 260 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:21,991 Well put, Oxford. 261 00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:25,369 Now, remember, you can't all sign with an "X." 262 00:12:27,204 --> 00:12:30,249 GRAMPA: So we sealed up the paintings 263 00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:33,586 knowing only one of us would ever look upon them again. 264 00:12:37,047 --> 00:12:38,799 Ox was the first to go. 265 00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:41,802 He got a hernia carrying the crate out of the castle. 266 00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:46,015 Five more men died in the Veterans' Day float disaster of '79. 267 00:12:46,098 --> 00:12:49,810 Now, with Asa gone, it's down to me and Burns. 268 00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:51,395 Great story, Grampa. 269 00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:52,897 Could have used a vampire, though. 270 00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:54,607 'Night. 271 00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:57,651 Oh-- My own grandson thinks I'm a liar. 272 00:12:59,236 --> 00:13:00,821 (loud buzzing) 273 00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:01,822 (yells) 274 00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:04,575 Don't kill me! 275 00:13:04,658 --> 00:13:06,952 I've tried to meet you halfway on this, Simpson, 276 00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:09,830 but you had to be little Johnny Live-A-Lot. 277 00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:12,875 Now, give me your key to the Hellfish bonanza. 278 00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:15,002 Oh, wow. There really is a treasure. 279 00:13:15,085 --> 00:13:17,505 Whatever you do, don't give him the key, Grampa. 280 00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:18,756 Here's the key. 281 00:13:18,839 --> 00:13:21,133 Aw-- Figures. Hey, Mr. Burns! 282 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:22,635 Can I go with you to get the treasure? 283 00:13:22,718 --> 00:13:24,136 I won't eat much, and I don't know 284 00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:25,888 the difference between right and wrong. 285 00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:28,933 Oh, you're a good boy, but the child labor people 286 00:13:29,016 --> 00:13:30,726 have been watching me like a hawk. 287 00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:32,269 Well, I 'm off to get the paintings. 288 00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:34,230 As they say, time is "Monets." 289 00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:36,690 As you were, Sergeant. (chuckles) 290 00:13:38,734 --> 00:13:41,362 Oh, terribly sorry. Back to sleep, little girl. 291 00:13:41,445 --> 00:13:43,197 LISA: Santa? 292 00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:51,664 Well, I guess Burns is finally going to be rich. 293 00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:53,624 Not without the keys, he isn't. 294 00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,418 Hey! You got the keys. 295 00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:58,254 Now we can get the treasure. 296 00:13:58,337 --> 00:14:00,005 Oh, what's the use? 297 00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:03,300 Burns would still find some way to take it from me. 298 00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:05,845 I can't believe you, Grampa. 299 00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:07,763 The sergeant in that story you told 300 00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,139 would never be scared of a dork like Burns. 301 00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:11,100 You got to get that treasure. 302 00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:14,061 You got to do it for Ox and Asa and Griff and Burnsie. 303 00:14:14,144 --> 00:14:16,063 Well, not so much Burnsie. 304 00:14:16,146 --> 00:14:19,358 You really think I can do it? 305 00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:21,110 Uh-- Yes. 306 00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:23,279 But we got to act fast. 307 00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:25,614 Where are you two going at this hour? 308 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,783 -On a treasure hunt. -Oh, can I come? 309 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:30,661 Only if you're ready to stare danger in the face, 310 00:14:30,744 --> 00:14:32,663 put your manhood to the ultimate test, 311 00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:34,498 -and take-- -Pass. 312 00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:41,046 Hey, Grampa, do you think your dead buddies 313 00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:43,340 get up and walk around at night? 314 00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:44,717 If they're anything like me, they have to get up twice. 315 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,802 Okay, hold up here. 316 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:50,347 Fellas, it's me, Sarge. At ease. 317 00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:52,474 I know I'm bending the rules tonight, 318 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,351 but I also know none of you wants 319 00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:56,645 that skunk Burns to take our treasure. 320 00:14:56,729 --> 00:15:00,232 And I want you to know that when I die, 321 00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:03,235 you're all welcome to visit me 322 00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:06,155 in rich man's heaven. 323 00:15:15,497 --> 00:15:16,957 (rumbling) 324 00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:28,636 Now it's going to show us exactly where to dig. 325 00:15:37,436 --> 00:15:39,104 TOGETHER: D'oh! 326 00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:42,107 Boy, you borrow us some diving equipment 327 00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:45,653 while I borrow this boat. 328 00:15:45,736 --> 00:15:47,613 Well, howdy-doodily, stranger. 329 00:15:47,696 --> 00:15:49,239 Couldn't help but notice you stealing my boat. 330 00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:50,741 I'll bring it back. 331 00:15:50,824 --> 00:15:53,035 -You ever operated a power boat? -No. 332 00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:55,329 -Know anything about water safety? -No. 333 00:15:55,412 --> 00:15:56,872 -What do you need it for? -It's a secret. 334 00:15:56,956 --> 00:16:00,376 Sounds spine-tingly-dingling. 335 00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:02,544 Just promise you'll have a good time. 336 00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:04,380 Maude, boys, come on up. 337 00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:07,174 We're going to have a camp-out in the dinghy. 338 00:16:07,257 --> 00:16:08,175 KIDS: Yay! 339 00:16:12,888 --> 00:16:15,432 Now, remember the plan, boy. 340 00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:18,102 If you run out of air, tug on the rope-- 341 00:16:18,185 --> 00:16:20,187 64 times. No more, no less. Got it. 342 00:16:20,270 --> 00:16:22,690 No, 63 times if you're out of air. 343 00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:25,109 64 is if you've found the treasure. 344 00:16:25,192 --> 00:16:26,527 Gotcha. 345 00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:28,070 Hey, Grampa, do you think 346 00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:30,239 I could have been a Flying Hellfish? 347 00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:33,200 You're a gutsy daredevil with a give-'em-hell attitude 348 00:16:33,283 --> 00:16:35,244 and a fourth-grade education. 349 00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:37,162 You could have made sergeant. 350 00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:56,432 (gurgling) Wow! 351 00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:10,279 Sixty-one, 352 00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:12,156 sixty-two, 353 00:17:12,239 --> 00:17:14,533 sixty-three! 354 00:17:14,616 --> 00:17:17,745 Oh, no, 63! 355 00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:19,288 He's out of air! 356 00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:21,957 I've sent my only grandson to a watery-- 357 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,792 Sixty-four! 358 00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:25,377 He found the treasure! 359 00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:26,712 I'm rich! 360 00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:35,137 You're one heck of a grandson, boy. 361 00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:38,140 Now let's break her open and have a look-see. 362 00:17:49,818 --> 00:17:51,987 Huh. The light must have burned out. 363 00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:56,408 I'll thank you to stop pinching my Botticelli. 364 00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:57,993 (gasps) 365 00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:00,120 Looks like I didn't need the keys after all. 366 00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:02,247 I'll take the masterpieces, thank you. 367 00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:03,373 Consarn it. 368 00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:09,922 You coward. 369 00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:12,257 You're an embarrassment to the name Hellfish. 370 00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:13,842 Oh, am I? 371 00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,928 No. Look, take the art if you want. 372 00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:17,971 Just don't hurt the boy. 373 00:18:18,055 --> 00:18:20,224 Hmm-- I'd rather do both. 374 00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:27,773 (gasping) 375 00:18:30,025 --> 00:18:32,945 So long, Sarge. See you at the reunion in November. 376 00:18:42,996 --> 00:18:45,457 (gasping) 377 00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:52,339 (gurgling) 378 00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:14,361 I'm sorry I cost you your fortune, Grampa. 379 00:19:14,444 --> 00:19:17,156 The fortune doesn't matter, boy. 380 00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:20,200 The important thing is you're safe. 381 00:19:20,284 --> 00:19:21,618 Now let's get that fortune! 382 00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:25,998 They're gaining on us, sir. 383 00:19:26,081 --> 00:19:26,999 We'll have to jettison something. 384 00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:31,670 It's been an honor to serve you, sir. 385 00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:35,299 Consarn it, he's getting away. 386 00:19:35,382 --> 00:19:37,050 In a pig's eye he is. 387 00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:49,688 Act your age, Simpson. You look foolish. 388 00:20:05,454 --> 00:20:07,206 Don't kill me. 389 00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:08,874 I ain't gonna kill you. 390 00:20:08,957 --> 00:20:12,002 That would be cowardly, Monty Burns cowardly. 391 00:20:12,085 --> 00:20:15,464 I just want to watch you squirm. 392 00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:16,840 Yes, sir. 393 00:20:16,924 --> 00:20:18,842 Is this to your liking? 394 00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:20,552 (grunting) 395 00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:25,057 Now, Burnsie, there's one thing 396 00:20:25,140 --> 00:20:26,934 we don't stand for in the Hellfish 397 00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:29,436 and that's trying to kill your commanding officer. 398 00:20:29,519 --> 00:20:33,023 So consider this your dishonorable discharge. 399 00:20:33,106 --> 00:20:35,901 You're out of my unit, you're out of the tontine, 400 00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:38,111 and that means the paintings are mine. 401 00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:41,406 Private, you are dismissed. 402 00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:46,495 You're rich, Grampa. You did it. 403 00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:49,623 And Burns can never take that away from you. 404 00:20:49,706 --> 00:20:51,583 (sirens wailing) 405 00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:54,419 Freeze. U.S. State Department. 406 00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:55,963 We'll take those. 407 00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:57,381 We've been helping the German government 408 00:20:57,464 --> 00:20:59,466 search for this stolen art for 50 years. 409 00:20:59,549 --> 00:21:01,468 To avoid an international incident, 410 00:21:01,551 --> 00:21:03,095 we'll be returning it to the descendants 411 00:21:03,178 --> 00:21:05,681 of its rightful owner. 412 00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:08,183 Baron von Wortzenburger, 413 00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,227 on behalf of the American people, I apologize-- 414 00:21:10,310 --> 00:21:13,897 Ja, ja, ja-- mach schnell mit der art things, da? 415 00:21:13,981 --> 00:21:16,316 I must get back to dancecentrum in Stuttgart 416 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,527 in time to see Kraftwerk. 417 00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:20,529 Hey, und, dummkopf, 418 00:21:20,612 --> 00:21:23,115 watch out for the C.D. changer in my trunk, huh? 419 00:21:23,198 --> 00:21:25,409 Idiot. 420 00:21:25,492 --> 00:21:28,412 (techno-pop playing) 421 00:21:28,495 --> 00:21:31,415 I guess he deserves it more than I do. 422 00:21:31,498 --> 00:21:34,835 Well, at least I got to show you 423 00:21:34,918 --> 00:21:38,213 I wasn't always a pathetic old kook. 424 00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:40,632 You never were, Grampa. 425 00:21:40,716 --> 00:21:46,013 Oh, I'd hug you, but I know you'd just get embarrassed. 426 00:21:46,096 --> 00:21:47,556 I won't get embarrassed. 427 00:21:47,639 --> 00:21:49,224 I don't care who knows I love my Grampa. 428 00:21:50,976 --> 00:21:53,478 Hey, fun boys, get a room. 429 00:21:53,562 --> 00:21:56,023 (synthesizer) ♪ Body control ♪ 430 00:22:02,362 --> 00:22:04,823 ♪♪ 431 00:22:43,195 --> 00:22:44,738 Shh! 432 00:22:47,574 --> 00:22:50,827 {\an8}CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.