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{\an8}♪ The Simpsons ♪
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D'oh!
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-Ahh!
-(tires screech)
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(gasps)
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Ahh!
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-(horn honks)
-(tires screech)
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(whimpering)
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{\an8}Run, Daddy, run!
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{\an8}Open the door, Maude!
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{\an8}I don't have time
for the secret knock!
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{\an8}MAUDE:
Oh, I'm panicking, Neddy.
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{\an8}I can't work the knob!
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{\an8}Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!
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{\an8}This is Kent Brockman
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{\an8}with a special report from
the Channel 6 news copter.
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{\an8}A large bear-like animal,
most likely a bear,
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{\an8}has wandered down from the hills
in search of food
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{\an8}or perhaps employment.
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{\an8}Please, remain calm.
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{\an8}Stay in your homes.
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(growling)
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{\an8}(laughs)
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{\an8}Looks like bad news for the...
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{\an8}Impson family.
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{\an8}Let's all calm down.
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{\an8}Everyone's going to be just fine
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{\an8}as long as I've got
enough beer.
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{\an8}(screams)
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{\an8}All right,
that does it.
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{\an8}If I'm going to be trapped
inside the house
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{\an8}I got to go out
and buy some beer.
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(growling)
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Now to drop gracefully
through the windshield.
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Ahh!
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I got you, Dad!
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Ahh!
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(siren wails)
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Sweet dreams, Smokey.
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Oww!
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Animal tranquilizer!
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Ohh...
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Smooth.
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(belches)
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Book 'em, Lou.
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One count
of being a bear.
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And one count
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of being an accessory
to being a bear.
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(men grunting)
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(grunting)
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Oh, Marge,
it was horrible.
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We were trapped
in the house all afternoon
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and... well...
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we had to drink
toilet water.
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Well, things were
bad everywhere.
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I'm sick of these
constant bear attacks!
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It's like a freakin' country
bear jamboroo around here.
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Well, now,
realistically, Homer,
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I've lived here
some 30-odd years.
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This is the first
and only bear I've ever seen.
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Hey,
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if you want wild bears
eating your children
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and scaring away
your salmon,
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that's your business.
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But I'm not gonna take it!
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Who's with me?
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ALL: I am!
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HOMER:
We're here! We're queer!
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We don't want any more bears!
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ALL:
We're here! We're queer!
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We don't want any more bears!
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Hey Homer,
that's a pretty catchy chant.
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Where'd you learn it?
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Oh, I heard it
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at the mustache parade
they have every year.
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ALL: We don't want
any more bears!
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Sir, there's an unruly
mob to see you.
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Does it have
an appointment?
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Uh... yes it does.
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I phoned ahead.
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Mr. Mayor, I hate
to break it to you
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but your city
is infested with bears.
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And these ones are smarter
than the average bear.
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They swiped my
pic-a-nic basket.
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Think of the children.
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Very well.
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I promise swift
and decisive action
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against these
hibernating hucksters.
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(cheering)
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(chuckling)
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(siren wailing)
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Ahh, not a bear in sight.
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The bear patrol must
be working like a charm.
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{\an8}That's specious
reasoning, Dad.
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Thank you, honey.
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{\an8}By your logic,
I could claim
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{\an8}that this rock
keeps tigers away.
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Oh, how does it work?
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{\an8}It doesn't work.
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-Uh-huh.
-It's just a stupid rock.
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-Uh-huh.
-But I don't see
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any tigers around here.
Do you?
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Lisa, I
want to buy your rock.
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Woo-hoo!
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A perfect day--
Zero bears
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and one
big fat hairy paycheck!
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Hey!
How come my pay is so low?
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"Bear Patrol Tax: $5..."
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What?!
This is an outrage!
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It's the biggest tax increase
in history!
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{\an8}Actually, Dad, it's the smallest
tax increase in history.
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Let the bears
pay the Bear Tax!
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I pay the Homer tax!
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That's the Home-owner Tax.
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Well, anyway,
I'm still outraged.
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ALL:
Down with taxes!
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Down with taxes!
Down with taxes!
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Won't you think
of the children?
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Are these morons
getting dumber or just louder?
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Dumber, sir.
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They won't give up
the bear patrol
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but they won't pay taxes
for it either.
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Ducking this issue
calls for real leadership.
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People, your taxes are high
because of illegal immigrants!
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That's right--
illegal immigrants!
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We need to get rid of them!
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(overlapping chatter)
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Immiggants!
I knew it was them!
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Even when it
was the bears
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I knew it was them!
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Oh, won't somebody
please think of the children?
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In one week, the town will vote
on a special referendum--
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whether or not to deport
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all illegal immigrants
from Springfield.
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It shall be known
as Proposition 24.
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(cheering)
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Hey, German boy,
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go back to Germania!
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I do not deserve this.
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I have come here legally
as an exchange student.
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Young man, the only thing
we exchanged for you
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was our national dignity.
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(laughter)
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You want to
pick on immigrants?!
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-Then pick on Willie!
-Willie, please.
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The children want to pick on
someone their own size.
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Ach...
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(eating loudly)
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I don't see how you can support
Proposition 24, Dad.
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Open your eyes, Lisa.
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Our schools are so
jam-packed with immigrants,
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kids like Bart have
lost the will to learn.
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There's no
denying it, sis.
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But immigration is
what America is all about.
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Even the Simpson family
immigrated to America.
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Right, Grampa?
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Okay, you
twisted my arm.
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The Simpson story begins
back in the old country.
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I forget which one exactly.
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My father would drone
on and on about America.
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He thought it was
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the greatest thing
since sliced bread--
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sliced bread having been invented
the previous winter.
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See this, son?
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That's where we're
going to live.
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Maybe not today,
maybe not tomorrow...
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but someday.
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Later that day,
we set sail for America.
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There it is.
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Our new home.
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Whee!
I love America!
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Abe! Supper's on!
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We had to move out once we'd
filled the head with garbage.
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The end.
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Yeah, when those immigrants
get deported
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there'll be
a lot more elbow room
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for regular Joes
like you and me, Apu.
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Ah... Mr. Simpson,
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it may astonish you
to learn
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that I am
an immigrant.
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You? Pfft.
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I don't believe it.
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No, in truth
an illegal immigrant, sir.
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If Proposition 24 passes,
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I shall be forced
to leave this country.
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Oh, I wish...
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Oh, I wish I could have stayed
just one more year or two.
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There was so much
I wanted to see
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and to do
and to have done to me.
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Oh, my God.
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I got so swept up
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in the scapegoating
and fun of Proposition 24,
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I never stopped to think
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it might affect
someone I cared about.
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You know what, Apu...
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I am really,
really gonna miss you.
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(whistling)
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You know what really
aggravazes me?
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Is them immiggants--
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They want all
the benefits
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of living
in Springfield,
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but they ain't
even bothered
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to learn themself
the language.
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Yeah. Those are exactly
my sentimonies.
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(babbling incoherently)
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Yeah,
you said it, Barn.
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Make the protesters go away
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and I'll give you
the entire bottle.
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Oh, thank you goodness.
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My first customers
in a week.
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It's hard to believe someone
so close to our family
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00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:34,240
could be an illegal alien.
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00:09:34,323 --> 00:09:35,658
Alas, it is true.
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00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:38,369
I came here shortly
after my graduation
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00:09:38,452 --> 00:09:39,495
from Cal Tech--
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00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,414
Calcutta Technical Institute.
216
00:09:41,497 --> 00:09:42,957
As the top student
217
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:45,126
in my graduating class
of seven million,
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I was accepted for
graduate study
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00:09:47,878 --> 00:09:49,463
in the United States.
220
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:58,222
Wherever you go
and whatever you do,
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00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:00,349
we will always love you.
222
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,226
Make us proud, son.
223
00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:04,353
Never forget
who you are.
224
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:05,521
I won't, Mother,
225
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,815
and I won't
forget you, Manjula.
226
00:10:07,898 --> 00:10:10,234
I'm so sorry
our arranged marriage
227
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will not come to pass.
228
00:10:11,527 --> 00:10:13,279
Farewell, my beloved.
229
00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:14,947
I enrolled at
Springfield Heights
230
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:16,574
Institute of Technology
231
00:10:16,657 --> 00:10:18,659
under the tutelage
of the brilliant
232
00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:20,620
Professor John Frink.
233
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:23,372
Well, sure, the Frinkiac 7
looks impressive--
234
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:24,707
Don't touch it.
235
00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:27,126
But I predict
that within 100 years
236
00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:29,462
computers will be
twice as powerful
237
00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:32,131
10,000 times larger
and so expensive
238
00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:35,968
that only the five richest kings
of Europe will own them.
239
00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:38,179
Could it be used
for dating?
240
00:10:38,262 --> 00:10:39,555
Well, theoretically, yes,
241
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,642
but the computer matches
would be so perfect
242
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as to eliminate the thrill
of romantic conquest.
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(mumbling)
244
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:48,856
Nine glorious
years later
245
00:10:48,939 --> 00:10:51,233
I completed
my Ph.D. thesis.
246
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:54,111
200,000 precisely
ordered punch cards
247
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:56,280
comprising the world's
very first
248
00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:57,823
tic-tac-toe program.
249
00:10:57,907 --> 00:11:00,576
Only the top human
players could beat it.
250
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:01,994
Hey, what's this one for?
251
00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:03,079
Ohh!
252
00:11:04,538 --> 00:11:06,707
So, Apu, why didn't you
go back to India
253
00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:08,834
when your Student Visa
expired?
254
00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:10,503
I did not feel
right leaving
255
00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:12,338
without paying off
my student loans.
256
00:11:12,421 --> 00:11:13,673
Mm-hmm.
257
00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:16,175
So I took a job
at the Kwik-E-Mart.
258
00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:19,345
When my debts were wiped clean,
I was all set to go,
259
00:11:19,428 --> 00:11:22,556
but by then, I had made
so many friends here.
260
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:25,393
What you're saying
is so understandable
261
00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:28,562
and really, your only crime
was violating U.S. law.
262
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:31,148
Oh, you are one
of the good ones.
263
00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:32,483
You know what?
264
00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:35,528
I'm going to vote "no" on 24.
265
00:11:35,611 --> 00:11:37,321
Mom, you're the greatest.
266
00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:39,407
Can I have this licorice?
267
00:11:43,452 --> 00:11:46,497
Uh, good evening, young man.
268
00:11:46,580 --> 00:11:48,624
My name is Charles Norwood.
269
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,710
Furthermore, to this beer,
270
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:54,422
I would also like three
of your finest, cheapest cigars.
271
00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:56,966
Here's my I.D.,
which confirms my adultivity.
272
00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:01,721
Hm.
273
00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:05,182
Hey, Kearney, this fake I.D.,
it is truly excellent.
274
00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:09,729
Say, if you tell me
where you obtained it,
275
00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:12,565
I will overlook
the ice cream sandwiches
276
00:12:12,648 --> 00:12:14,233
concealed in
your armpits, eh?
277
00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:15,985
Deal.
278
00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:23,784
Okay, here are
your fraudulent documents
279
00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:25,953
Mr. Nahasapeemapetilan:
280
00:12:26,036 --> 00:12:28,414
your U.S. Passport,
Social Security card
281
00:12:28,497 --> 00:12:31,584
birth certificate
and your death certificate.
282
00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:34,754
Just hold on to that one
in your safe-deposit box.
283
00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:37,423
Most humble and grateful
thanks to you.
284
00:12:37,506 --> 00:12:39,175
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
285
00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:40,426
Can the courtesy.
286
00:12:40,509 --> 00:12:41,886
You're an American now.
287
00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:44,889
Remember: you were born
in Green Bay, Wisconsin,
288
00:12:44,972 --> 00:12:48,309
your parents were Herb
and Judy Nahasapeemapetilan,
289
00:12:48,392 --> 00:12:50,811
and if you do not wish
to arouse suspicion,
290
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:54,148
I strongly urge you
to act American.
291
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:57,818
(American accent)
Hey there, Homer.
292
00:12:57,902 --> 00:12:59,028
How's it hanging?
293
00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:00,279
Low and lazy.
294
00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:01,739
So...
295
00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:05,201
Hey, say something again.
296
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:07,286
Oh, you're just noticing
297
00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:09,205
the way I'm talking
to you now.
298
00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:11,081
You see, it turns out
299
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:13,751
I am an American citizen
after all.
300
00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:16,837
Apparently, I just
plumb forgot about it.
301
00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:18,464
(phony chuckle)
302
00:13:18,547 --> 00:13:21,675
Say, let's take a relaxed
attitude toward work
303
00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:23,677
and watch
the baseball match.
304
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:26,514
The NY Mets are my
favorite squadron.
305
00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:30,518
Hey, you got rid of that goofy
sacred elephant statue.
306
00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:31,769
Oh, yeah.
307
00:13:31,852 --> 00:13:34,146
What was I thinking
with that?
308
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:38,692
(accent slipping) Who needs the infinite
compassion of Ganesha
309
00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:41,570
when I've got Tom Cruise
and Nicole Kidman
310
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:44,156
staring at me
from Entertainment Weekly
311
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,908
with their dead eyes?!
312
00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:47,368
Look at me!
313
00:13:47,451 --> 00:13:49,829
I've betrayed my Indian
heritage, sir.
314
00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:53,374
What would my parents
think of me now?
315
00:13:53,457 --> 00:13:54,750
(gasps)
316
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,252
APU'S FATHER:
Make us proud, son.
317
00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:58,921
APU'S MOTHER:
Never forget who you are.
318
00:13:59,004 --> 00:14:01,882
Don't make
the same mistake I did.
319
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:03,509
(gasps)
320
00:14:03,592 --> 00:14:07,221
Oh, forgive me, Mother, Father.
321
00:14:07,304 --> 00:14:08,639
I failed you.
322
00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:13,102
(sniffling)
323
00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:16,564
Who am I kidding?
324
00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:17,898
I am no citizen.
325
00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:20,776
Th-This passport
is a cheap forgery.
326
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:24,321
A cheap $2,000 forgery.
327
00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:26,365
I have brought shame
to my parents,
328
00:14:26,448 --> 00:14:28,117
to my homeland and to myself.
329
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,118
Don't forget Ganesha.
330
00:14:31,328 --> 00:14:33,372
I cannot deny my roots
331
00:14:33,455 --> 00:14:35,791
and I cannot keep up
this charade.
332
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,377
I only did it
because I love this land
333
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:41,338
where I have the freedom
to say and to think
334
00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:43,007
and to charge
whatever I want.
335
00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:45,718
I want to stay,
but as the real me,
336
00:14:45,801 --> 00:14:48,095
not as some yahoo
from Green Bay.
337
00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:54,184
(sobbing)
338
00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:56,395
Wow. You must
love this country
339
00:14:56,478 --> 00:14:58,230
more than I love
a cold beer
340
00:14:58,314 --> 00:15:00,107
on a hot
Christmas morning.
341
00:15:00,190 --> 00:15:01,525
Darn it, Apu.
342
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:03,944
I'm not gonna let them
kick you out.
343
00:15:04,028 --> 00:15:05,195
(grunting)
344
00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:07,239
I never should have
bought this button.
345
00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:08,407
Can I have
my three dollars back?
346
00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:10,367
Store credit only.
347
00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:15,039
HOMER: Hey, Marge.
Look who I brought home.
348
00:15:15,122 --> 00:15:19,251
Oh, Homer. Are you
rounding up immigrants?
349
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:21,378
(laughs)
No, Marge.
350
00:15:21,462 --> 00:15:23,422
Apu convinced me
that Proposition 24
351
00:15:23,505 --> 00:15:24,924
is a big mistake.
352
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:25,925
All right!
353
00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:27,009
Now you've got
354
00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:28,886
all the Simpsons
behind you, Apu.
355
00:15:28,969 --> 00:15:30,554
That's nice--
although three of you
356
00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:31,889
are below voting age.
357
00:15:31,972 --> 00:15:33,641
And I'm not registered.
358
00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:35,517
I do appreciate
your concern, really,
359
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:36,769
but it is hopeless.
360
00:15:36,852 --> 00:15:38,228
The latest poll shows
361
00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:41,690
a whooping 85% support
for Proposition 24.
362
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,734
Hey, Apu,
why don't you just
363
00:15:43,817 --> 00:15:45,694
marry some American broad
364
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:48,447
then dump her after you
get your citizenship?
365
00:15:48,530 --> 00:15:49,490
(touch tones)
366
00:15:49,573 --> 00:15:51,367
Hello, Selma?
367
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:53,494
Selma, my dear,
how are you?
368
00:15:53,577 --> 00:15:55,621
Uh-huh...
uh-huh... uh-huh...
369
00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:57,665
Listen,
shut up for a second.
370
00:15:57,748 --> 00:15:59,500
How would you like
to marry Apu
371
00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:00,501
so he doesn't get deported?
372
00:16:00,584 --> 00:16:02,211
I'd rather eat poison.
373
00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:05,547
My name's already Selma Bouvier
Terwilliger Hutz McClure.
374
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:08,759
God knows it's long enough
with Nahasapeemapet-whatever.
375
00:16:08,842 --> 00:16:11,720
From now on,
I'm only marrying for love...
376
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,889
and possibly
once more for money.
377
00:16:17,017 --> 00:16:19,937
Oh, it's hopeless.
Oh, poor Apu.
378
00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:23,107
Hey! The government
don't control the sky.
379
00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:25,109
What if you lived
in a balloon?!
380
00:16:25,192 --> 00:16:27,695
-LISA: That's it!
-Did you hear that, Mom?
381
00:16:27,778 --> 00:16:29,071
She's as dumb as me.
382
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:31,865
No, not what he said,
what he is!
383
00:16:31,949 --> 00:16:33,283
Grandfather,
384
00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:35,369
as in "grandfather clause."
385
00:16:35,452 --> 00:16:38,080
Apu, how long ago
did your Visa expire?
386
00:16:38,163 --> 00:16:39,665
Seven years, but I don't--
387
00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:41,250
(gasps)
There was an amnesty declared
388
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:43,877
for people who've been here
as long as you.
389
00:16:43,961 --> 00:16:45,546
That means you can take
the citizenship test!
390
00:16:45,629 --> 00:16:46,755
(gasps)
391
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,173
But Apu, the vote
on Proposition 24
392
00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:49,550
is on Tuesday.
393
00:16:49,633 --> 00:16:52,136
You'll have to pass
the test before then.
394
00:16:52,219 --> 00:16:54,596
Oh, no! That is not
nearly enough time
395
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:57,349
to learn over 200 years
of American history.
396
00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:58,809
Oh, it can't be that many!
397
00:16:58,892 --> 00:17:00,227
Come on, Apu!
398
00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:01,729
I'll be your tutor.
399
00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:03,605
(ominous chords blare)
400
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,610
Please identify
this object.
401
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:10,112
It appears to be the flag
402
00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:12,448
which disappeared from
the public library last year.
403
00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:13,907
Correct.
404
00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:16,702
Now, we all know the 13 stripes
are for good luck,
405
00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:21,290
but why does the American flag
have precisely 47 stars?
406
00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:25,377
Because this particular flag
is ridiculously out of date.
407
00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:27,212
The library
must have purchased it
408
00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:28,297
during the brief period
in 1912
409
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:30,466
after New Mexico
became a state
410
00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:31,508
but before Arizona did.
411
00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:33,385
Uh, partial credit.
412
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:36,847
Now, they may ask you
to locate your town
413
00:17:36,930 --> 00:17:39,266
on a map of the U.S.,
so let's do that.
414
00:17:39,349 --> 00:17:41,977
Uh... Springfield,
Springfield... um...
415
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:44,146
-right here.
-LISA: Dad!
416
00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:46,899
{\an8}You're not pointing
anywhere near Springfield.
417
00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:48,233
{\an8}It's over here, Apu.
418
00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:49,818
Hey, whatcha doin'?
Studying?
419
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,904
Oh, I'm so confused.
I don't even know where
420
00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:53,614
I'm getting
kicked out of anymore.
421
00:18:00,245 --> 00:18:02,956
Whoa!
422
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,459
Sign's floating
away, Chief.
423
00:18:05,542 --> 00:18:08,796
Executive, legislative,
and, uh... judicial.
424
00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:12,132
No, no, and no.
(groans)
425
00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:15,135
Maybe we should start all over
with the electrical college.
426
00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:17,596
Please, Mr. Simpson,
my brain needs sleep.
427
00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:19,264
The test is in six hours
428
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:21,141
and many of these facts
you speak of
429
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:22,184
are completely new to me.
430
00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:24,186
Sleep is for the weak, Apu!
431
00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:25,604
Now I'm gonna go to bed
while you look over
432
00:18:25,687 --> 00:18:27,773
my notes from
ninth grade history.
433
00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:28,941
Okay, Apu.
434
00:18:29,024 --> 00:18:30,984
Stay awake and stay focused.
435
00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:32,236
Cotton Mather...
436
00:18:32,319 --> 00:18:34,196
(snoring)
437
00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:41,370
Oh, no! I fell asleep!
438
00:18:41,453 --> 00:18:43,997
I have forgotten everything
that Mr. Homer taught me!
439
00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:45,999
Perfect.
Let's roll.
440
00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:53,006
(crowd clamoring)
441
00:18:58,011 --> 00:18:58,971
Hm.
442
00:18:59,054 --> 00:18:59,972
Hm!
443
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:02,891
Hmm.
444
00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:07,855
(gasps)
445
00:19:07,938 --> 00:19:09,148
All right, men.
446
00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:10,691
Here's the order
of deportations.
447
00:19:10,774 --> 00:19:12,943
First, you'll be
rounding up your tired,
448
00:19:13,026 --> 00:19:14,528
then your poor,
449
00:19:14,611 --> 00:19:17,906
then your huddled masses
yearning to breathe free.
450
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,449
Breathers. Got it.
451
00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:21,326
{\an8}All right. Here's
your last question.
452
00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:23,662
What was the cause
of the Civil War?
453
00:19:23,745 --> 00:19:25,664
Actually,
there were numerous causes.
454
00:19:25,747 --> 00:19:27,291
Aside from the obvious schism
455
00:19:27,374 --> 00:19:30,002
between abolitionists
and anti-abolitionists,
456
00:19:30,085 --> 00:19:32,754
economic factors, both domestic
and international, played a significant--
457
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:33,839
-Hey, hey.
-Yeah?
458
00:19:33,922 --> 00:19:35,382
Just-- Just say "slavery."
459
00:19:35,465 --> 00:19:36,508
Slavery it is, sir.
460
00:19:37,801 --> 00:19:40,137
Yes! I am a citizen!
461
00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:42,681
Now which way to
the Welfare office?!
462
00:19:42,764 --> 00:19:44,474
-What?
-I'm kidding,
463
00:19:44,558 --> 00:19:46,185
I'm kidding!
I work, I work.
464
00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:47,644
Thank you.
465
00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:50,272
I want to say "thank you"
to everyone.
466
00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:51,565
From this day forth
467
00:19:51,648 --> 00:19:54,651
I am no longer an Indian
living in America.
468
00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:56,820
I am an Indian-American.
469
00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:57,863
(cheering, applause)
470
00:19:57,946 --> 00:19:59,364
MAN: Here, here, here.
471
00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:01,408
You know, Apu,
in a way,
472
00:20:01,491 --> 00:20:02,784
all Americans
are immigrants,
473
00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:04,328
except Native Americans.
474
00:20:04,411 --> 00:20:06,121
Yeah. Native Americans
like us.
475
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:07,456
No, I mean
American Indians.
476
00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:09,583
-Like me.
-No, I mean--
477
00:20:09,666 --> 00:20:11,168
-(tapping)
-Hi, everyone!
478
00:20:11,251 --> 00:20:13,170
If I could just say
a few words...
479
00:20:13,253 --> 00:20:15,255
I'd be a better
public speaker.
480
00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:17,174
(laughing)
481
00:20:17,257 --> 00:20:19,676
Now that you're all relaxed--
(clears throat)
482
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:22,179
most of us here
were born in America.
483
00:20:22,262 --> 00:20:24,723
We take this country
for granted;
484
00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:26,558
but not immigrants like Apu.
485
00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:29,561
While the rest of us are
drinking ourselves stupid,
486
00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:32,648
they're driving the cabs
that get us home safely.
487
00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:35,609
They're writing the operas
that entertain us every day.
488
00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:38,779
They're training our tigers
and kicking our extra points.
489
00:20:38,862 --> 00:20:40,697
These people are the glue
490
00:20:40,781 --> 00:20:44,284
that holds together the gears
of our society.
491
00:20:44,368 --> 00:20:47,913
If we pass Proposition 24,
we'll be losing
492
00:20:47,996 --> 00:20:50,249
some of the truest
Americans of all.
493
00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:51,541
-(cheering)
-MOE: You said it, Homer!
494
00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:53,710
When you go
to the polls tomorrow,
495
00:20:53,794 --> 00:20:57,714
please, vote no
on Proposition 24.
496
00:20:57,798 --> 00:21:00,217
ALL (chanting):
No on 24.
497
00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:03,136
No on 24.
498
00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:05,722
No on 24.
499
00:21:05,806 --> 00:21:08,183
No on 24.
500
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:11,228
No on 24.
501
00:21:11,311 --> 00:21:13,981
No on 24.
502
00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:15,983
No on 24.
503
00:21:17,526 --> 00:21:20,237
It's a landslide!
Yes on 24.
504
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:24,950
The Proposition passed
with a record 95%...
505
00:21:25,033 --> 00:21:27,452
When are people going
to learn--
506
00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:29,371
democracy doesn't work.
507
00:21:29,454 --> 00:21:31,873
Please don't knock
the land that I love.
508
00:21:33,542 --> 00:21:35,961
(gasps)
Jury duty!
509
00:21:36,044 --> 00:21:39,840
Oh! Today I am truly
an American citizen.
510
00:21:39,923 --> 00:21:41,008
(sighs)
511
00:21:41,091 --> 00:21:42,217
Oh!
512
00:21:44,511 --> 00:21:46,805
Just thank heaven
everything worked out
513
00:21:46,888 --> 00:21:49,599
for the people
we care about.
514
00:21:49,683 --> 00:21:50,934
(foghorn blows)
515
00:21:51,018 --> 00:21:53,228
Ach. Ingrates.
516
00:22:00,527 --> 00:22:02,654
♪♪
517
00:22:41,234 --> 00:22:42,235
Shh.
518
00:22:45,322 --> 00:22:48,533
{\an8}CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY
ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.