1 00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:06,715 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:06,798 --> 00:00:07,757 (tires screech) 3 00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:10,927 D'oh! 4 00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,512 -Ahh! -(tires screech) 5 00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:16,099 (popping) 6 00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:28,903 {\an8}SKINNER (on PA): And finally, 7 00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:31,364 {\an8}the bake sale to raise money for the car wash 8 00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:35,035 {\an8}has been canceled due to confusion. 9 00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:37,037 {\an8}Well, that concludes this morning's announcements. 10 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:40,665 {\an8}I'm Seymour Skinner, and stand by to resume learning 11 00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:43,168 {\an8}in five, four, three... 12 00:00:43,251 --> 00:00:46,212 {\an8}Oh! It's hard enough to keep the kids awake 13 00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:47,255 {\an8}without you, Seymour. 14 00:00:51,926 --> 00:00:52,844 {\an8}(all gasping) 15 00:00:52,927 --> 00:00:54,012 {\an8}Mrs. Krabappel, 16 00:00:54,095 --> 00:00:56,056 {\an8}I also have an announcement to make. 17 00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:57,140 {\an8}Can't it wait till I retire? 18 00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:58,641 {\an8}(clears throat) 19 00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:01,061 {\an8}I want one and all to join me in celebrating 20 00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:03,271 {\an8}the anniversary of my portentous birth. 21 00:01:03,354 --> 00:01:04,272 {\an8}Here you are, Nelson. 22 00:01:04,355 --> 00:01:05,857 {\an8}A birthday party? 23 00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:08,026 {\an8}(blows raspberry) 24 00:01:08,109 --> 00:01:09,319 {\an8}Here you are, Nelson. 25 00:01:09,402 --> 00:01:11,321 {\an8}(blows raspberry) 26 00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:12,655 {\an8}Here you are, Nelson. 27 00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:14,115 {\an8}I said... (blows raspberry) 28 00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:16,117 {\an8}(engine revving) 29 00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:17,118 {\an8}All right, men. 30 00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:18,411 {\an8}Get ready to blast off. 31 00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:19,412 {\an8}Whoo! 32 00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:20,914 {\an8}We're in orbit now. 33 00:01:20,997 --> 00:01:23,083 What's that? A call from the president? 34 00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:24,250 Hello? 35 00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:26,044 (imitating Nixon): Ah, yes. 36 00:01:26,127 --> 00:01:29,130 Let me just say this about that. 37 00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:30,298 Okay, Mr. President. 38 00:01:30,381 --> 00:01:32,092 {\an8}Bart, this is boring. 39 00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:35,929 {\an8}I guess we could go to Martin's party. 40 00:01:36,012 --> 00:01:37,388 {\an8}I don't know. 41 00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:38,515 {\an8}If we're seen there, it'll definitely take 42 00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:40,308 {\an8}our social standing down a notch. 43 00:01:40,391 --> 00:01:41,976 {\an8}We're at what now? Three? 44 00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:43,311 {\an8}Three and a half. 45 00:01:43,394 --> 00:01:45,271 {\an8}We get beat up, but we get an explanation. 46 00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:49,234 {\an8}(continues imitating Nixon) Beautiful colors. Never has-- 47 00:01:49,317 --> 00:01:51,152 Mayday! Mayday! 48 00:01:51,236 --> 00:01:52,529 ♪♪ 49 00:01:57,700 --> 00:01:58,743 Hmm. 50 00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:02,372 Bart! 51 00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:04,415 Uh, Mrs. K. Hey, it's Saturday. 52 00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:06,084 Your powers are useless against me. 53 00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:09,254 Relax. I'm just here to have fun like everybody else. 54 00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:11,131 Don't think of me as a teacher. 55 00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:12,340 Okay. 56 00:02:12,423 --> 00:02:14,300 So... 57 00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,469 Mm-hmm. 58 00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:18,304 (nervous laughter) 59 00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:20,265 (sighing) 60 00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:21,266 Excuse me. 61 00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:26,855 (pitiful whimpering) 62 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:31,734 (crying) Mama! 63 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:34,487 Hey, Houdini, why don't you saw Martin in half? 64 00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:37,157 Oh, I'm not the kind of magician who does tricks. 65 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:38,533 I'm a math-e-magician. 66 00:02:38,616 --> 00:02:39,534 (all groaning) 67 00:02:39,617 --> 00:02:41,077 Oh, man. 68 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,288 Now, prepare to marvel at the mysteries of the universe 69 00:02:43,371 --> 00:02:46,416 as I make this remainder disappear. 70 00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:47,375 (chuckling) 71 00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:51,713 But seven goes into 28 four times. 72 00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:54,465 Uh-- this is a magic seven! 73 00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:57,010 (children chattering) 74 00:03:01,472 --> 00:03:02,849 Edna! 75 00:03:02,932 --> 00:03:04,267 Seymour. 76 00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:05,351 Mind if I sit down? 77 00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:06,769 Hmph! It's a free country. 78 00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:08,313 I... I don't follow you. 79 00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:10,190 Oh, just sit down, Seymour. 80 00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:13,943 It might be nice to talk to a grownup for a change. 81 00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:16,821 Well, this party is certainly a break in my routine. 82 00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:18,948 You know, normally I spend my Saturdays 83 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,242 carefully laying out my clothes for the following week. 84 00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:24,871 Then I stroll down to the car wash to see if Gus is there. 85 00:03:24,954 --> 00:03:26,789 Oh, yeah. You've got to keep busy. 86 00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:29,542 I collect matchbooks from glamorous nightclubs. 87 00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:31,002 It's amazing. 88 00:03:31,085 --> 00:03:33,713 It you just write to them and ask them nicely... 89 00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:37,383 Is this... 90 00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:39,010 How you imagined your life, Edna? 91 00:03:39,093 --> 00:03:42,555 Well, yes, but then, I was a very depressed child. 92 00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:44,432 To poor decisions. 93 00:03:44,515 --> 00:03:46,267 Hear, hear. 94 00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:48,394 WOMAN: Seymour! I told you 95 00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,230 not to play in the neighbor's yard. 96 00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:51,272 It's a party, Mother. 97 00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:53,066 I was invited. 98 00:03:53,149 --> 00:03:54,442 Well... 99 00:03:54,525 --> 00:03:56,945 Then I must've been invited, too. 100 00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:58,821 Help me, Edna. 101 00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:04,661 I know where we can hole up for a while. 102 00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:10,667 (crying) 103 00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,460 That's it. Looking good. 104 00:04:12,543 --> 00:04:13,836 Getting warm. 105 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:17,298 Uh... I feel queasy. 106 00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:18,299 Don't stop, Milhouse. 107 00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:19,634 You're so close. 108 00:04:19,717 --> 00:04:20,969 I got to barf. 109 00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:24,430 Where's the bathroom? 110 00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:27,183 (kids screaming) 111 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,310 (all moaning and groaning) 112 00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:32,438 Oh, my tummy! 113 00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:35,400 I told you we should've served cake instead of oysters. 114 00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:37,277 I'm ruined! 115 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,153 Ha-ha! 116 00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:41,197 (groaning) 117 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,490 (siren wails) 118 00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:48,079 (Lisa groaning) 119 00:04:48,162 --> 00:04:49,872 Bart, how come you're not sick? 120 00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,874 Eh! I gave my oysters to the cat. 121 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:54,252 (retching) 122 00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:55,336 Hey, why'd you eat them? 123 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:56,587 I thought you were a vegetarian. 124 00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:58,756 I didn't. I just wanted to leave. 125 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:00,008 (fake groaning) 126 00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:03,052 More tea, Edna? 127 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:05,346 What kind of little boy has a tea set? 128 00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:08,224 Hmm! I think we both know the answer to that. 129 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,642 A lucky boy. 130 00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:11,936 You know, Seymour, 131 00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:14,897 there's an innocence about you that can be quite charming. 132 00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:18,943 Oh! Well, I've always admired your tart honesty 133 00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:22,071 and ability to be personally offended by broad social trends. 134 00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:23,489 Oh, really? 135 00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:24,949 Mm-hmm. Very much. 136 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:26,117 And your laugh. 137 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:27,744 You mean, "Ha"? 138 00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:30,538 Mm-hmm. That's the one that makes me feel... 139 00:05:30,621 --> 00:05:32,415 (breathing heavily) 140 00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:34,792 Oh, boy. (clears throat) 141 00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:36,794 You have a breath mint I could borrow? 142 00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:38,796 I've got some menthol cigarettes. 143 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,715 Oh, the heck with it. 144 00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:01,110 BART: You are never going to guess what I saw at Martin's party 145 00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:03,071 after you guys left. 146 00:06:03,154 --> 00:06:04,155 You know that playhouse? Well, I-- 147 00:06:04,238 --> 00:06:05,573 -Good gravy! -Oh, thank you. 148 00:06:05,656 --> 00:06:08,076 It's just brown and water. 149 00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:09,952 So I looked in the window and there it was. 150 00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:12,205 The grossest sight I have ever... 151 00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:14,165 SKINNER (on PA): Bart Simpson, report to 152 00:06:14,248 --> 00:06:15,208 the principal's office immediately. 153 00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:17,877 Now, Bart... son... 154 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,796 I don't know what you think you saw 155 00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:21,839 but, let me assure you... 156 00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:23,383 What Seymour... Oh... 157 00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,093 What Principal Skinner means to say, Bart, 158 00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:26,969 is that sometimes a little boy's imagination 159 00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:28,054 can run away with him. 160 00:06:28,137 --> 00:06:30,223 That's the best you can do? 161 00:06:30,306 --> 00:06:32,350 You could have at least said you were giving her C.P.R. 162 00:06:32,433 --> 00:06:33,768 or rehearsing a play. 163 00:06:33,851 --> 00:06:36,396 Is it too late to say that? 164 00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:37,438 Mm-hmm. 165 00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:38,815 (clears throat) 166 00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:39,982 We're just a little concerned. 167 00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:41,317 If people were to find out 168 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,735 the principal was dating a teacher, 169 00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:45,071 they might see it as a conflict of interest. 170 00:06:45,154 --> 00:06:46,114 (laughs) 171 00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:47,824 And... There are those 172 00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:49,534 who might try to use it against us 173 00:06:49,617 --> 00:06:50,535 for their own advantage. 174 00:06:50,618 --> 00:06:51,536 Like me, for one. 175 00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:54,580 Like you, for... 176 00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:57,667 Bart, if life has taught me one lesson repeatedly, 177 00:06:57,750 --> 00:06:59,419 it's to know when I'm beaten. 178 00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:00,711 Let's talk deal. 179 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:10,638 (grunts) 180 00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:14,350 As you know, Bart, 181 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,269 your permanent record will one day disqualify you 182 00:07:16,352 --> 00:07:18,354 from all but the hottest and noisiest jobs. 183 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:19,689 What do you say, son? 184 00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:21,274 You keep our secret, 185 00:07:21,357 --> 00:07:22,900 and some other student can inherit your gloomy 186 00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:23,860 windblown future. 187 00:07:25,486 --> 00:07:26,487 Deal. 188 00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:31,784 This is a great day for forbidden love. 189 00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:38,791 Mmm. This dessert is exquisite. 190 00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:39,792 What do you call it? 191 00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:40,877 Applesauce. 192 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,671 (chuckles) Oh, of course. 193 00:07:43,754 --> 00:07:46,340 I'm sorry. I don't get out to restaurants much. 194 00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:48,718 That's okay. I don't entertain much. 195 00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:52,138 Usually it's just soup for one, salad for one, 196 00:07:52,221 --> 00:07:53,514 wine for three. 197 00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:55,183 (laughs) You know, I always thought 198 00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:57,643 I'd fall for a woman just like Mother... 199 00:07:57,727 --> 00:07:59,270 even though I didn't want to. 200 00:07:59,353 --> 00:08:01,606 And now that I haven't, 201 00:08:01,689 --> 00:08:04,233 I've discovered what true happiness can be, Edna. 202 00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:09,113 Seymour, swallow that applesauce 203 00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:10,781 and kiss me. 204 00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:13,201 I'm afraid I already swallowed it while you were talking. 205 00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:17,413 Mmm... 206 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:18,414 (Edna giggling) 207 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:19,665 Mmm... 208 00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:24,962 Good morning, students. Way to go there, Wendell. 209 00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:27,632 There's Ralph-- He knows the score. 210 00:08:27,715 --> 00:08:29,634 Jimbo, how's that hat today? 211 00:08:29,717 --> 00:08:31,844 Janie, Janie, bo-phaney! 212 00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:34,972 The only way to survive a deadly blaze is... 213 00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:37,433 Oh, heck, life's too short for fire safety. 214 00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,060 Let's go outside and pick wild flowers. 215 00:08:39,143 --> 00:08:42,271 (cheering) 216 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,981 SKINNER (on PA): Bart Simpson to the principal's office. 217 00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:45,608 Post haste. 218 00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:48,069 (Skinner humming "Eine kleine nacht musik") 219 00:08:51,739 --> 00:08:53,991 Bart, so good to see you. 220 00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:55,368 I have a little favor to ask you. 221 00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:56,494 I'd like you to give this note 222 00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:57,703 to Edna when you get back to class. 223 00:08:57,787 --> 00:09:00,039 I don't think I have to tell you 224 00:09:00,122 --> 00:09:01,499 it's for her eyes only. 225 00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:11,676 "Dear Edna"-- (mumbling) 226 00:09:11,759 --> 00:09:14,220 (sing-song) I hear reading. 227 00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:36,409 Do you think anyone saw us? 228 00:09:36,492 --> 00:09:39,287 No. It went just as we planned. 229 00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:41,455 Except they confiscated my thermos of cola at the door. 230 00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:43,124 Ohh-- 231 00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:45,835 Skinner, Krabappel, what are you two doing here? 232 00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:46,919 Superintendent Chalmers! 233 00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:48,296 Uh, why, we're-- 234 00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:50,381 We're, uh, on a, uh-- 235 00:09:50,464 --> 00:09:53,134 -a-- what do you call-- field trip. -Uh, with a student. 236 00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:55,553 -Yes! He's, uh... -He's purchasing refreshments 237 00:09:55,636 --> 00:09:57,930 -in the lobby. -I'll go get him right now. 238 00:09:58,014 --> 00:09:59,515 (whispering) Car keys, car keys, car keys. 239 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:11,319 (sleepily) Stop pushing me. What's going on? 240 00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:13,112 Just enjoy the movie. It has Tom Berenger. 241 00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:21,746 You think they actually filmed this in Atlanta? 242 00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:23,456 I don't know. 243 00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:24,915 I don't think it's important. 244 00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:26,042 Yeah. 245 00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:27,418 (honking) 246 00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:34,425 Mother doesn't approve of me dating, 247 00:10:34,508 --> 00:10:36,886 so I need you to keep her busy for a few hours 248 00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:38,638 while Edna and I sneak out. 249 00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:41,807 (door slams) 250 00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:43,934 Oh, I can't take much more of this. 251 00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:45,811 I collect pictures of cakes 252 00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:47,855 that I clip out of the magazines. 253 00:10:47,938 --> 00:10:49,940 It all started in 1941 254 00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:53,653 when Good Housekeeping featured a photo of a lovely cake. 255 00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:56,656 {\an8}You wouldn't happen to have any real cakes around here, would you? 256 00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:59,283 Oh, my no. I don't care for cake. Too sweet. 257 00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:02,870 Now, this is called a Lady Baltimore cake. 258 00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:04,914 At my age, I don't have much saliva left 259 00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:06,374 so you'll have to lick my thumb 260 00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:08,542 before I can turn the page. 261 00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:10,169 Oh, can't I just turn the page for you? 262 00:11:10,252 --> 00:11:11,504 No! 263 00:11:11,587 --> 00:11:13,381 But you can pick out any picture 264 00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:15,383 you want to take home with you. 265 00:11:15,466 --> 00:11:17,093 Okay. That one. 266 00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:18,094 -No! -Ow! 267 00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:19,387 You can't have that one! 268 00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:20,971 That's a coconut cake! 269 00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:22,264 (pencils scratching paper) 270 00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:26,310 Bart Simpson! 271 00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:29,397 How many times do I have to tell you no talking! 272 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:30,981 Report to the principal's office! 273 00:11:31,065 --> 00:11:32,441 But-but I wasn't... 274 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,276 -And here, take this with you. -(groans) 275 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:37,488 Mrs. Krabappel, Bart has something 276 00:11:37,571 --> 00:11:38,531 he wants to say to you. 277 00:11:38,614 --> 00:11:39,824 -I won't say it! -Bart! 278 00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:42,201 (groans) Oh... 279 00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:46,580 I love you, Edna Krabappel. 280 00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:48,582 (children laughing) 281 00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:50,876 (chanting) Bart's going to marry the teacher. 282 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,045 Where are you registered, Simpson? 283 00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,588 (groans) 284 00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:55,589 Thank you, Bart. 285 00:11:55,673 --> 00:11:56,590 That was very sweet. 286 00:11:56,674 --> 00:11:58,843 You may sit down now. 287 00:11:58,926 --> 00:12:00,678 They're not going to get away with this. 288 00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:03,556 I'm going to step out for a few minutes, class. 289 00:12:03,639 --> 00:12:04,515 Martin, you're in charge. 290 00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:07,518 Now, Bart, uh... 291 00:12:07,601 --> 00:12:08,853 (coughs) 292 00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:11,355 You must promise not to fall in love with me. 293 00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:13,816 (children laughing) 294 00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:15,693 Now, Martin's scoring off me. 295 00:12:15,776 --> 00:12:17,069 Oh, that is it. 296 00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:18,571 Listen up, everybody! 297 00:12:18,654 --> 00:12:20,030 Follow me! 298 00:12:23,325 --> 00:12:24,577 What's going on, huh? 299 00:12:24,660 --> 00:12:26,620 What's happening, Simpson? 300 00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:27,747 Where are we going, anyway? 301 00:12:29,248 --> 00:12:30,458 Okay, crew... 302 00:12:30,541 --> 00:12:32,585 Set your faces to stunned. 303 00:12:34,962 --> 00:12:36,839 (all gasp) 304 00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:43,429 Um... 305 00:12:43,512 --> 00:12:45,389 Um... 306 00:12:45,473 --> 00:12:46,348 School dismissed. 307 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,227 And then Bart opened the door 308 00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:51,979 and Principal Skinner and Mrs. Krabappel 309 00:12:52,062 --> 00:12:53,355 were kissing! 310 00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:54,982 -(gasps) -And swearing. 311 00:12:55,065 --> 00:12:56,776 Father, Uncle Apu, 312 00:12:56,859 --> 00:12:58,986 a teacher was in the closet with the principal 313 00:12:59,069 --> 00:13:01,071 and he had as many arms as Vishnu 314 00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:02,907 and they were all very busy. 315 00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:04,658 -(gasps) -Wow. 316 00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:06,827 I was in the library, at the time, 317 00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:08,412 but Janie told me that Principal Skinner 318 00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:09,872 and Bart's teacher, Mrs... 319 00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:10,873 What's her name? 320 00:13:10,956 --> 00:13:11,874 Krabappel? 321 00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:13,292 Yeah, Krabappel. 322 00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:14,919 They were naked in the closet together. 323 00:13:15,002 --> 00:13:16,712 Oh, my goodness! 324 00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,172 Wait a minute. 325 00:13:18,255 --> 00:13:20,382 Bart's teacher is named "Krabappel"? 326 00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:22,635 I've been calling her "Crandall." 327 00:13:22,718 --> 00:13:25,054 Why didn't someone tell me? 328 00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:28,265 Oh, I've been making an idiot out of myself! 329 00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:30,559 Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner 330 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,269 were in the closet making babies, 331 00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:33,938 and I saw one of the babies, 332 00:13:34,021 --> 00:13:36,315 and the baby looked at me. 333 00:13:36,398 --> 00:13:38,067 Baby looked at you? 334 00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:40,611 Sara, get me Superintendent Chalmers. 335 00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:44,281 -Thank you, Sara. -Hmm. 336 00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:48,494 -Skinner! -Uh, Superintendent Chalmers. 337 00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:51,539 The whole town's in an uproar about your sleazy shenanigans. 338 00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:53,207 Now, I'm going to give you a choice. 339 00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:57,086 You can give up this tawdry fulfilling relationship 340 00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:58,963 or you two will be out of here so fast 341 00:13:59,046 --> 00:14:00,172 your mortarboards will spin. 342 00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:02,550 And where is your mortarboard anyway? 343 00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:03,926 Uh... Right here, sir. 344 00:14:05,135 --> 00:14:07,346 So, what'll it be, Seymour? 345 00:14:07,429 --> 00:14:09,682 Well... 346 00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:13,310 I'm sorry, but, uh, I can't give up the woman I love. 347 00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:16,522 Well, then I'm afraid you leave me no choice. 348 00:14:16,605 --> 00:14:18,858 I want you out of the building by 3:00. 349 00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:22,236 -You're fired. Edna, too. -(gasps) 350 00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:28,492 Well, it's going to be hard to say good-bye to all of you. 351 00:14:28,576 --> 00:14:30,327 We've had a lot of fun together. 352 00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:35,708 Nelson, Nelson, Nelson. 353 00:14:35,791 --> 00:14:37,585 How many kids have you beaten up this year? 354 00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:38,919 I don't know-- 50. 355 00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:41,755 Ah, 50. 356 00:14:41,839 --> 00:14:44,049 Where does the time go? 357 00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:49,430 You, uh, you wanted to see me, Principal Skinner? 358 00:14:49,513 --> 00:14:51,765 Mm-mm. It's Mr. Skinner now. 359 00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:53,392 I'm just a man. 360 00:14:53,475 --> 00:14:56,312 Bart, I want to apologize for the awkward position 361 00:14:56,395 --> 00:14:57,938 Edna and I put you in. 362 00:14:58,022 --> 00:15:00,608 Your-- Your help made our love possible. 363 00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:02,026 I don't know what we'll do without you. 364 00:15:03,652 --> 00:15:05,195 Well, so long. 365 00:15:08,657 --> 00:15:09,825 Wait a second! 366 00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,160 You don't have to leave just because 367 00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:13,203 Superintendent Chalmers told you to. 368 00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:14,204 What are you getting at? 369 00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:15,497 You spent your whole life 370 00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:17,333 following orders-- from your mother 371 00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:19,627 the army, Superintendent Chalmers... 372 00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:23,047 Just this once, man, stand up for yourself. 373 00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:24,131 Okay, Bart. 374 00:15:24,214 --> 00:15:25,132 Let's go, Seymour. 375 00:15:25,215 --> 00:15:26,884 Okay, Edna. 376 00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:29,261 Uh... No, wait! 377 00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:31,013 We're not going anywhere. 378 00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:33,390 I'm going to do what Bart should have told me to do 379 00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:34,975 a long time ago. 380 00:15:38,687 --> 00:15:40,064 Attention, Springfield. 381 00:15:40,147 --> 00:15:42,608 We have barricaded ourselves in the school 382 00:15:42,691 --> 00:15:46,028 and are not coming down until our demands are met. 383 00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:48,614 Willie hears you. Willie don't care. 384 00:15:48,697 --> 00:15:51,408 Obviously, you two have no experience 385 00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:52,743 causing a scene. 386 00:15:57,665 --> 00:15:59,041 I'll be right there. 387 00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:00,292 All right people, 388 00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:01,669 we've got an escaped octopus 389 00:16:01,752 --> 00:16:02,670 on the roof of Springfield Elementary. 390 00:16:02,753 --> 00:16:03,671 Let's roll. 391 00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:04,630 Two cameras. 392 00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:09,301 So, once again, I've been had. 393 00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:11,512 But an even more interesting story 394 00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:14,264 has developed high atop this two-story school: 395 00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:15,724 A love story. 396 00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:17,768 Skinner, get off of my school. 397 00:16:17,851 --> 00:16:20,688 No. You get off of my school. 398 00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:22,606 Homer, Bart's up there! 399 00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,274 Give me that! 400 00:16:24,358 --> 00:16:26,944 Bart, this is your father! 401 00:16:27,027 --> 00:16:30,698 Do you know where the remote is? 402 00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:32,616 I looked all over the house. 403 00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,910 Did you check your pocket? 404 00:16:36,286 --> 00:16:37,413 It was-- 405 00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:38,497 It was in my pocket. 406 00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:48,007 Fine. Stay in the school. 407 00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:49,842 We don't want you to come out. 408 00:16:49,925 --> 00:16:50,884 BART: You got it. 409 00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:52,553 Damn. All right, boys, 410 00:16:52,636 --> 00:16:53,971 roll up the sound truck. 411 00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:55,764 We'll blast them out with music. 412 00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:00,227 (feeedback squeals) 413 00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:03,105 (melodic acoustic piano playing "Embraceable you") 414 00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:14,533 ♪ Embrace me, my sweet... ♪ 415 00:17:14,616 --> 00:17:17,786 Oh, Edna, I hope this siege never ends. 416 00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:20,414 Seymour, you're heaven in hush puppies. 417 00:17:20,497 --> 00:17:21,665 Oh... 418 00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:23,667 Turn the music off! 419 00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:26,336 Ha! It's working like a charm, boys. 420 00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:27,755 Now cut the power and hit them with the lights. 421 00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:34,136 ♪ ...Irreplaceable you ♪ 422 00:17:35,971 --> 00:17:39,266 ♪ Just one look at you ♪ 423 00:17:39,349 --> 00:17:42,311 ♪ My heart grew tipsy... ♪ 424 00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:43,520 Ugh! 425 00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:52,988 -(ringing) -I'll get it. 426 00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:56,116 -Talk to me. -You have got to end this thing, Seymour. 427 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,952 We're not coming down until our jobs are reinstated 428 00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:01,080 and you acknowledge and celebrate our love. 429 00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:03,624 No one would like to celebrate your love more than I 430 00:18:03,707 --> 00:18:05,292 but I'm a public servant 431 00:18:05,375 --> 00:18:07,795 and not permitted to use my own judgment in any way. 432 00:18:07,878 --> 00:18:10,130 Then let us take our case directly to the towns people. 433 00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:12,174 Oh, yeah, that'll be real productive. 434 00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:13,342 Who do you want to talk to first? 435 00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:15,010 The guy in the bumblebee suit 436 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,345 or the one with the bone through his hair? 437 00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:18,388 My opinions are as valid 438 00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:19,765 as the next man's! 439 00:18:19,848 --> 00:18:21,975 Yeah, all right. Just come on down. 440 00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:24,186 Well... This is it. 441 00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:25,395 What are you going to do? 442 00:18:25,479 --> 00:18:26,980 I'm going to go out there 443 00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:28,941 and tell every man, woman and child 444 00:18:29,024 --> 00:18:30,901 that I love Edna krabappel. 445 00:18:30,984 --> 00:18:32,361 Well, that's nice, 446 00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:33,403 but first you got to grab their attention. 447 00:18:33,487 --> 00:18:35,280 And I think I know how. 448 00:18:37,324 --> 00:18:40,202 I have a bomb. 449 00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:43,122 ALL: (gasping and murmuring) 450 00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:44,248 Hey, wait a minute. 451 00:18:44,331 --> 00:18:46,208 Those are hot dogs. 452 00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:47,626 Armour hot dogs. 453 00:18:47,709 --> 00:18:50,754 What kind of man wears Armour hot dogs? 454 00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:52,214 It was a good idea, Bart, 455 00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:54,383 but it's just not working. 456 00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:56,885 Just speak from the heart, Seymour. 457 00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,054 Tell them how we brought a little happiness 458 00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:00,681 into each other's lives. 459 00:19:00,764 --> 00:19:03,851 Ask them why they're forcing two dedicated people 460 00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:06,311 to choose between their careers and their hearts. 461 00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:07,980 Excuse me, Edna. 462 00:19:08,063 --> 00:19:10,899 I don't think we're talking about love here. 463 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:13,110 We're talking about s-e-x 464 00:19:13,193 --> 00:19:16,196 in front of the c-h-i-l-d-r-e-n. 465 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:17,406 Sex Cauldron? 466 00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:19,199 I thought they closed that place down. 467 00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:21,201 What are you people talking about? 468 00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:23,412 My child told me you two were having sex 469 00:19:23,495 --> 00:19:24,830 in the school janitor's closet. 470 00:19:24,913 --> 00:19:26,915 You know, "Making babies"? 471 00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,458 Yes, illicit sex. 472 00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:30,252 Doing it! It! It! 473 00:19:30,335 --> 00:19:32,421 Sordid public sexual congress! 474 00:19:32,504 --> 00:19:34,089 This is absurd. 475 00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,341 I did not have relations in that closet, 476 00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:38,427 and the fact is, I haven't... 477 00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:40,304 Uh... 478 00:19:40,387 --> 00:19:43,265 (crickets chirping) 479 00:19:43,348 --> 00:19:45,642 Yes? 480 00:19:45,726 --> 00:19:47,603 Seymour, I think you'd better tell them. 481 00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:50,314 It's the only way to clear our names. 482 00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,443 (sighs) 483 00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:56,486 Well, everyone, the fact is 484 00:19:56,570 --> 00:20:00,324 I haven't ever had relations. 485 00:20:00,407 --> 00:20:01,283 I am a virgin. 486 00:20:04,411 --> 00:20:05,495 Ha-ha! 487 00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:07,497 (all murmuring) 488 00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,460 Hey, does this mean 489 00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:13,337 that Mrs. Krabappel is a virgin, too? 490 00:20:13,420 --> 00:20:14,546 KRABAPPEL: Ha! 491 00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:16,340 Well, Seymour, it's clear 492 00:20:16,423 --> 00:20:18,050 you've been falsely accused 493 00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:22,346 because no one... anywhere... ever... 494 00:20:22,429 --> 00:20:25,515 Would pretend to be a 44-year-old virgin. 495 00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:26,934 Oh, that's for sure. 496 00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:29,645 I'm, I'm inclined to agree. 497 00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:32,314 Ugh! I'll never look at him the same again. 498 00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:34,149 That was more than I wanted to know. 499 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,484 (clears throat) 500 00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:37,527 Okay, well, um, Edna, Seymour, 501 00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:41,073 in light of these, uh... uh... revelations 502 00:20:41,156 --> 00:20:43,700 I, uh, suppose we, uh... overreacted. 503 00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:45,160 Do we have our jobs back? 504 00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:47,371 What? Oh, yes, yes, yes. Sure. 505 00:20:47,454 --> 00:20:49,748 Just, uh, you know, keep the lewdness to a minimum. 506 00:20:57,464 --> 00:20:58,674 I'm out of here. 507 00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:00,801 Skinny, Krabby, catch you later. 508 00:21:00,884 --> 00:21:02,344 Uh, hold on, Bart. 509 00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:04,221 May we have a word with you? 510 00:21:04,304 --> 00:21:05,472 We want to thank you for helping us 511 00:21:05,555 --> 00:21:06,556 through a difficult period. 512 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:08,141 Oh, no problemo. 513 00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:09,351 So, I guess now you'll be getting married 514 00:21:09,434 --> 00:21:11,228 or something, huh? 515 00:21:11,311 --> 00:21:14,356 Well, actually, Seymour and I have decided to break up. 516 00:21:14,439 --> 00:21:15,649 Huh? 517 00:21:15,732 --> 00:21:17,317 We can't continue on like this, 518 00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:19,319 trying to build a private relationship in public-- 519 00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:21,280 The whole town watching our every move 520 00:21:21,363 --> 00:21:22,656 with a fine-tooth comb. 521 00:21:22,739 --> 00:21:24,408 Mm-hmm. I'm used to humiliation 522 00:21:24,491 --> 00:21:26,201 but not in front of a crowd that size. 523 00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,412 But you seemed like such a good couple. 524 00:21:28,495 --> 00:21:31,456 Bart, when you get a little older 525 00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:33,417 you're going to learn that, sometimes, romances 526 00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:35,919 don't turn out exactly the way you'd like them to. 527 00:21:36,003 --> 00:21:37,129 Hmm... 528 00:21:39,464 --> 00:21:41,758 That's why I love elementary school, Edna: 529 00:21:41,842 --> 00:21:44,219 The children believe anything you tell them. 530 00:21:45,679 --> 00:21:47,389 (chuckling) 531 00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:50,309 (both laughing) 532 00:21:50,392 --> 00:21:51,518 (cork popping) 533 00:21:51,601 --> 00:21:53,145 KRABAPPEL: Whoo! Oh, Seymour... 534 00:21:59,276 --> 00:22:01,361 ♪♪ 535 00:22:39,691 --> 00:22:40,776 Shh! 536 00:22:43,820 --> 00:22:47,032 {\an8}CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.