1 00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:06,256 {\an8}♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:06,339 --> 00:00:09,259 (tires screech) 3 00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:10,510 D'oh! 4 00:00:10,593 --> 00:00:11,636 Aah! 5 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:13,179 (tires screech) 6 00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:15,890 D'oh! 7 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,361 {\an8}♪ They fight and bite ♪ 8 00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:29,988 {\an8}♪ They fight and fight and bite ♪ 9 00:00:30,071 --> 00:00:31,406 {\an8}♪ Bite-bite-bite, fight-fight-fight ♪ 10 00:00:31,489 --> 00:00:34,743 {\an8}♪ The Itchy & Scratchy Show! ♪ 11 00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:36,327 {\an8}(Bart laughs) 12 00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:37,537 {\an8}Shh... 13 00:00:54,971 --> 00:00:56,598 {\an8}MAN: Cinq... 14 00:00:56,681 --> 00:00:57,599 {\an8}quartre... 15 00:00:57,682 --> 00:00:58,767 {\an8}trois... 16 00:00:58,850 --> 00:00:59,768 {\an8}deux... 17 00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:01,227 {\an8}(giggling) 18 00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:03,104 {\an8}MAN: Un... maintenant! 19 00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:04,814 {\an8}(explosion) 20 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,649 {\an8}Turn it down! 21 00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:08,860 {\an8}We don't want to wake up Mom and Dad. 22 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,040 {\an8}Shh! 23 00:01:22,123 --> 00:01:23,792 {\an8}(muffled laughter) 24 00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:28,421 {\an8}(laughing loudly) 25 00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:29,756 {\an8}(snoring) 26 00:01:29,839 --> 00:01:31,883 {\an8}(clearing throat) Oh, my goodness! 27 00:01:31,966 --> 00:01:34,928 {\an8}Kids! Homer! We're late for church! 28 00:01:35,011 --> 00:01:36,971 {\an8}I'm glad I dressed last night. 29 00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:38,932 {\an8}Oh, I'd love to go with you, honey, 30 00:01:39,015 --> 00:01:41,226 {\an8}but I got a lot of work to do around the bed. 31 00:01:41,309 --> 00:01:44,604 {\an8}Homer, the Lord only asks for an hour a week. 32 00:01:44,687 --> 00:01:45,980 {\an8}In that case, 33 00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:47,357 {\an8}he should've made the week an hour longer. 34 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,609 {\an8}-Lousy God. -(groaning) 35 00:01:49,692 --> 00:01:53,071 {\an8}...and the very same goes for Ezekiel. 36 00:01:53,154 --> 00:01:56,658 {\an8}Which brings us back to our starting point: 37 00:01:56,741 --> 00:01:59,327 {\an8}The nine tenets of constancy. 38 00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:03,456 {\an8}Damn it! 39 00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:05,250 {\an8}(clears throat) 40 00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:08,128 {\an8}Well, I seem to have lost my place... 41 00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:09,504 {\an8}so I'll start over. 42 00:02:09,587 --> 00:02:11,548 {\an8}MAN: Aw, for the love of crumb cake... 43 00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:15,301 {\an8}Our sermon today is on constancy. 44 00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:16,553 {\an8}In as much as the... 45 00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:19,472 {\an8}moreover, by dint of our application 46 00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:21,641 {\an8}of these principles, we can learn... 47 00:02:21,724 --> 00:02:24,561 {\an8}...the auspices of constancy 48 00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:27,355 {\an8}sweet constancy. 49 00:02:27,438 --> 00:02:29,399 {\an8}(all snoring) 50 00:02:32,694 --> 00:02:33,820 (bird shrieking) 51 00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:37,448 Hey... wha...? 52 00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:40,493 -Yay! -Oh, man! 53 00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:43,413 Am I glad to get out of there! 54 00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:44,831 Hey, calm down-- 55 00:02:44,914 --> 00:02:46,708 you're wrinkling your church clothes. 56 00:02:46,791 --> 00:02:49,210 Who cares? This is the best part of the week. 57 00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:51,796 It's the longest possible time before more church! 58 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,590 Church shouldn't be a chore. 59 00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:55,383 It should help you in your daily life. 60 00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:56,718 It should, but it doesn't. 61 00:02:56,801 --> 00:02:58,553 Now, who's going with Daddy to the dump? 62 00:02:58,636 --> 00:03:00,680 -BOTH: Me! -The dump? 63 00:03:00,763 --> 00:03:02,390 We're going to get rid of the Christmas tree. 64 00:03:02,473 --> 00:03:03,766 It's starting to turn brown. 65 00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:06,603 -Want to come with? -No, no, 66 00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:08,688 I don't feel like going to a trash pile today. 67 00:03:08,771 --> 00:03:10,148 It's your life. 68 00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:12,233 We'll bring you back something nice. 69 00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:15,945 (humming) 70 00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:19,240 Can you believe it? 71 00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:22,118 They give you five Q's and only two U's. 72 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,203 What a world. 73 00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:24,996 It's crazy. 74 00:03:25,079 --> 00:03:27,415 So, what's on your mind, Marge? 75 00:03:27,498 --> 00:03:29,709 Sermons about constancy and prudissitude 76 00:03:29,792 --> 00:03:31,586 are all very well and good, 77 00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:34,088 but the church could be doing so much more 78 00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:36,049 to reach out to people. 79 00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:39,010 Oh, I don't see you volunteering to make things better. 80 00:03:39,093 --> 00:03:40,595 Well... 81 00:03:40,678 --> 00:03:43,681 Okay, I will volunteer. 82 00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:44,682 I wasn't prepared for that. 83 00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:49,020 (grunting) 84 00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,943 Come on, Christmas tree... 85 00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:56,110 (grunting) 86 00:03:57,862 --> 00:03:59,489 (coughing) 87 00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:03,660 Okay, who's up for some scrounging? 88 00:04:06,996 --> 00:04:09,999 Hey! Here's a perfectly good basketball half! 89 00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,835 I found a Malibu Stacy with no head. 90 00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:14,045 (screeching) 91 00:04:14,128 --> 00:04:15,088 (screaming) 92 00:04:15,171 --> 00:04:17,799 (laughing) 93 00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:19,092 (screaming) 94 00:04:19,175 --> 00:04:20,426 Oh, my God! Help me, Lisa! 95 00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:22,971 BART: Lisa, Dad-- come here quick! 96 00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:24,722 There is something that you won't believe! 97 00:04:27,308 --> 00:04:28,977 What the heck is that? 98 00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:30,812 {\an8}BART: Maybe it's a box from the future. 99 00:04:30,895 --> 00:04:32,981 {\an8}LISA: It looks Japanese. 100 00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:35,984 Wha-- What's going on? 101 00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:39,320 Why-- Why am I on a Japanese box? 102 00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:40,905 (high-pitched whimpering) 103 00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:44,575 Oh, my God... what is that? 104 00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:47,161 MARGE: All done! I swept the aisles, 105 00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:49,372 and put all the collection plates in the dishwasher. 106 00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:50,748 Oh, and you wouldn't believe 107 00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:52,959 how many dead pigeons there were in the organ. 108 00:04:53,042 --> 00:04:54,836 Marge, you are a real time-saver. 109 00:04:54,919 --> 00:04:56,212 Do you know, thanks to you 110 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,880 I've rediscovered a form of shame 111 00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:59,882 that's gone unused for 700 years? 112 00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:01,217 Wow... 113 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,011 (phone rings) 114 00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:04,554 Lovejoy here. 115 00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:05,972 Reverend, this is Principal Skinner. 116 00:05:06,055 --> 00:05:07,515 I'm facing a crisis, 117 00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:09,809 and I didn't know to whom to turn. 118 00:05:09,892 --> 00:05:10,852 All right. 119 00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:12,895 Mother's gone too far. 120 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,606 She's put cardboard over her half of the television. 121 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,233 We rented "Man Without A Face." 122 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,152 I didn't even know he had a problem! 123 00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:20,611 What should I do? 124 00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:22,947 Well, maybe you should read your Bible. 125 00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:25,575 Um, any particular passage? 126 00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:27,827 Oh, it's all good. 127 00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:29,871 All right. Thanks anyway. 128 00:05:29,954 --> 00:05:32,915 Reverend, I hate to say this, but it sounded 129 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:35,084 like that poor man was reaching out to you. 130 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,879 I'm not sure your advice was all that helpful. 131 00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:40,256 (chuckling) Oh, Marge. 132 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:43,718 I was once idealistic like you. 133 00:05:43,801 --> 00:05:45,428 It was the mid '70s, 134 00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:47,597 and I was fresh out of seminary. 135 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,057 The '60s were long over 136 00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:50,516 and people were once again ready 137 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:53,269 to feel bad about themselves. 138 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:56,564 ♪ Jesus is just all right with me ♪ 139 00:05:56,647 --> 00:05:58,399 LOVEJOY: I came to Springfield 140 00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:02,111 ready to roll up my sleeves and help my fellow man. 141 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,864 There was just one fellow man I hadn't counted on. 142 00:06:06,574 --> 00:06:07,909 Reverend, I'm-- 143 00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:09,535 I'm afraid something terrible has happened. 144 00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:11,871 Well, sit down and rap with me, brother. 145 00:06:11,954 --> 00:06:13,706 That's what I'm here for. 146 00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:17,085 Well, I was talked into doing a dance called "The Bump," 147 00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:21,089 but my hip slipped, and my-- my buttocks came into contact 148 00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:24,550 with the buttocks of another young man! 149 00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:27,053 I... see. 150 00:06:27,136 --> 00:06:29,889 Then, the calls began. 151 00:06:29,972 --> 00:06:32,975 FLANDERS: Well, I-I think I may be coveting my own wife. 152 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:36,938 I'm meek, but... I could probably stand to be meeker. 153 00:06:37,021 --> 00:06:40,066 I-I-I think I swallowed a toothpick! 154 00:06:40,149 --> 00:06:43,319 LOVEJOY: Finally, I just stopped caring. 155 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,863 Luckily, by then, it was the '80s 156 00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:47,532 and no one noticed. 157 00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:50,076 But you can't let a few bad experiences 158 00:06:50,159 --> 00:06:51,536 sour you on helping people. 159 00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:53,454 -Oh, sure I can. -(phone rings) 160 00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:55,373 Ugh! You handle it. 161 00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:58,543 Me? No, I-- I-- Wait! I can't-- 162 00:06:58,626 --> 00:07:00,211 Hello? 163 00:07:00,294 --> 00:07:02,505 Uh, yeah, hi. I'm calling for Reverend Lovejoy. 164 00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:03,631 Who is this? 165 00:07:03,714 --> 00:07:05,091 Oh, well, this is, um... 166 00:07:05,174 --> 00:07:08,261 the, uh... the listen lady. 167 00:07:08,344 --> 00:07:10,638 Yeah? Well, listen, lady, I've got so many problems 168 00:07:10,721 --> 00:07:12,849 I-I don't even know where to begin here. 169 00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:14,725 Okay... 170 00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:17,478 uh, why don't you start from the top? 171 00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:18,896 All righty. 172 00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:21,899 Uh, number one: I've lost the will to live. 173 00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:24,110 Oh, that's ridiculous, Moe. 174 00:07:24,193 --> 00:07:26,112 You've got lots to live for. 175 00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:27,488 Really? That's not what 176 00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:29,657 Reverend Lovejoy's been telling me. 177 00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:32,702 Wow! You're good. Thanks. 178 00:07:32,785 --> 00:07:34,620 (ringing) 179 00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:36,664 Hi. It's me again. I got another problem. 180 00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:38,708 Uh, this one's about my cat. 181 00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:40,626 (meowing) 182 00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:42,044 Yeah! Shut up!! I'm asking her. 183 00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:48,217 Why would you volunteer at the church? 184 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,428 I don't know. Guilt? 185 00:07:50,511 --> 00:07:51,804 (scoffs) Volunteering is for suckers. 186 00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:53,681 Do you know that so-called "volunteers" 187 00:07:53,764 --> 00:07:55,641 don't even get paid? 188 00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:57,602 Well, I think volunteering is great. 189 00:07:57,685 --> 00:07:59,437 Deep down, it makes you feel... 190 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:02,356 Homer, will get that crazy box off the dinner table? 191 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:03,733 It came from the dump. 192 00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:05,693 But, Marge, I'm obsessed with it. 193 00:08:05,776 --> 00:08:08,279 Where did it come from? What is it a box of? 194 00:08:08,362 --> 00:08:09,572 How did my face get on it? 195 00:08:09,655 --> 00:08:11,616 Hey, if they got a picture of you, 196 00:08:11,699 --> 00:08:13,409 that means they can see you. 197 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,328 They're probably watching us right now. 198 00:08:15,411 --> 00:08:16,579 That's ridiculous. 199 00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:19,540 Nobody is watching us right now. 200 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:28,466 Hai! Hai! Hai! Bye. 201 00:08:28,549 --> 00:08:29,717 Hai! 202 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,261 Akira, can you read this for me? 203 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:35,348 Ah, yes. This is a product called "Mr. Sparkle." 204 00:08:35,431 --> 00:08:37,517 Very popular dish detergent. 205 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:38,684 Hey... he looks like you. 206 00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:40,895 (laughs) 207 00:08:40,978 --> 00:08:42,522 What's he saying? 208 00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:45,775 He identifies himself as "a magnet for foodstuffs." 209 00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:47,735 He boasts that he will "banish dirt 210 00:08:47,818 --> 00:08:49,654 to the land of wind and ghosts." 211 00:08:49,737 --> 00:08:51,072 Wow! 212 00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:53,658 Yes. You have very lucky dishes, Mr. Simpson. 213 00:08:53,741 --> 00:08:56,661 This soap is from the sacred forest of Hokkaido, 214 00:08:56,744 --> 00:08:59,288 renowned for its countless soap factories. 215 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,415 Hokkaido, eh? 216 00:09:03,584 --> 00:09:05,670 See, all along, I been telling Carl 217 00:09:05,753 --> 00:09:07,463 I'm married to a beauty queen. 218 00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,382 Now, he's coming over for dinner. 219 00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:10,675 Lenny, I'm sure he'll like your wife 220 00:09:10,758 --> 00:09:12,385 no matter what she looks like. 221 00:09:12,468 --> 00:09:14,095 Oh, no, no. No. It's worse than that. 222 00:09:14,178 --> 00:09:15,596 I don't even have a wife. 223 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,849 I just said I did to, you know, be a big-shot. 224 00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:22,937 Oh. Well, it's time to start telling the truth. 225 00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:25,147 Now, when I have to tell my husband the truth, 226 00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:28,150 I cook him a big, delicious dinner. 227 00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:29,735 By the time he's done eating 228 00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:32,280 he's too full and tired to care what I have to say. 229 00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:33,698 Wow, that's great! 230 00:09:33,781 --> 00:09:35,241 When Carl comes over, I'll stuff him 231 00:09:35,324 --> 00:09:36,242 till he don't know what's what. 232 00:09:39,453 --> 00:09:41,289 Seymour, I'm getting tired. 233 00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:42,707 Tell them we're going next. 234 00:09:42,790 --> 00:09:45,334 Well, I'm not principal of the line, Mother. 235 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,086 And you never will be. 236 00:09:51,048 --> 00:09:54,885 I'd like the phone book for Hokkaido, Japan, please. 237 00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:56,929 Okay. Here you go. 238 00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:58,472 The phone book for Hokkaido, Japan. 239 00:09:58,556 --> 00:10:00,725 Thank you. May I please use your phone? 240 00:10:00,808 --> 00:10:02,518 Is it a local call? 241 00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,145 Y... yes. 242 00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:16,532 (touch tones) 243 00:10:46,437 --> 00:10:47,396 (phone ringing) 244 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:48,814 {\an8}Mooshi-mooshi? 245 00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:51,942 Yes. This is Homer Simpson from America. 246 00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:53,653 Who may I say is speaking to me? 247 00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:55,988 {\an8}(speaking Japanese) 248 00:10:56,072 --> 00:10:58,407 Hello, chief? Let's talk, why not? 249 00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:01,577 Uh, hello? Why am I Mr. Sparkle? 250 00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,162 Oh, you like Mr. Sparkle? 251 00:11:03,245 --> 00:11:05,164 Well, I am Mr. Sparkle. 252 00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:06,957 Oh, you have many question, Mr. Sparkle. 253 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:10,503 I send you premium answer question hundred percent. 254 00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:13,297 The Lord will hear your lamentations 255 00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:15,508 and give solace to your spirit. 256 00:11:15,591 --> 00:11:16,926 The Lord or Marge Simpson! 257 00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:18,052 LENNY: Amen to that. 258 00:11:18,135 --> 00:11:20,596 (all exclaiming) 259 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,516 Um... could we please not yell out things 260 00:11:23,599 --> 00:11:25,351 in the church? 261 00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:27,311 (bell ringing) 262 00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:32,358 (overlapping dialog) 263 00:11:32,441 --> 00:11:34,777 Wait a minute, please. One at a time. 264 00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:35,945 One at a time! 265 00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:38,489 Now, who has the most urgent problem? 266 00:11:38,572 --> 00:11:41,784 I have a recurring dream in which I'm falling. 267 00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:43,661 Come right this way, Mel, I-- 268 00:11:43,744 --> 00:11:45,579 Tim, hold my calls. 269 00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:51,877 Mm... 270 00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:55,089 I'm a shepherd without a flock. 271 00:11:55,172 --> 00:11:57,508 What have I done to lose them? 272 00:11:59,927 --> 00:12:01,470 The real question is 273 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,180 "what have you done to keep them?" 274 00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:04,223 (gasps) 275 00:12:04,306 --> 00:12:06,100 St. Eleutherius of Nicomedia. 276 00:12:06,183 --> 00:12:07,977 That's my name, don't wear it out. 277 00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:10,146 To inspire men, you must be brave. 278 00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:13,065 I introduced Christianity to Mongolia. 279 00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:15,067 It didn't take, but it was worth a try. 280 00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:17,069 Tell us, good reverend, 281 00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:18,738 what great deeds have you done 282 00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:20,489 to inspire the hearts of men? 283 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:25,119 Well, I had the vestibule re-carpeted. 284 00:12:25,202 --> 00:12:27,037 I've appeared in over 8,000 visions 285 00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:29,957 and that's the lamest reply I've ever heard. 286 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:31,584 Oh, now, please, I-- 287 00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:34,044 I thought saints were supposed to be friendly. 288 00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:36,797 Oh, you're just lucky God isn't here. 289 00:12:41,802 --> 00:12:43,345 (phone ringing) 290 00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:44,722 Hello. Listen Lady. 291 00:12:44,805 --> 00:12:47,057 Marge, people say you've got a real knack 292 00:12:47,141 --> 00:12:48,893 for solving problems. 293 00:12:48,976 --> 00:12:50,770 Well... this is a little awkward 294 00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:52,980 but, um, Tim came home from church 295 00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:54,774 so despondent today, 296 00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:57,777 he's just been playing with his trains all afternoon. 297 00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:59,987 We all need a little time to ourselves, Helen. 298 00:13:00,070 --> 00:13:01,781 Just give him a day or two 299 00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:04,742 and I'm sure he'll be back to his old dynamic self. 300 00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:06,327 Okay. 301 00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:11,040 Attention, H-O scale passengers: 302 00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:13,667 The dining car is closed. 303 00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:15,669 Root beer is still available, 304 00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:18,672 but the cost is now $6.50. 305 00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:21,300 If the passengers will look to the right 306 00:13:21,383 --> 00:13:24,303 you will see a sad man. 307 00:13:24,386 --> 00:13:26,180 That is all. 308 00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:28,516 Look, we got a package 309 00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:30,851 from the Mr. Sparkle company in Japan. 310 00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:31,852 Ooh! 311 00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:37,024 Ow! 312 00:13:37,107 --> 00:13:38,859 It's a videotape. 313 00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:39,985 Put it in! Put it in! 314 00:13:46,283 --> 00:13:50,663 Oh, hello, American investor. 315 00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:54,166 I see you are interested in distributing Mr. Sparkle 316 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,043 in your home prefecture. 317 00:13:56,126 --> 00:13:57,503 You have chosen wisely, 318 00:13:57,586 --> 00:13:59,630 but please, don't believe me. 319 00:13:59,713 --> 00:14:01,090 Observe this commercial. 320 00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:04,385 {\an8}(whistle blows) 321 00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:08,889 {\an8}Aka ni taishite burei da! 322 00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:10,140 {\an8}Yogore o yaburu! 323 00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:12,268 {\an8}Honki da yo. 324 00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:23,320 (xylophone plays) 325 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:25,906 {\an8}Doke, mina doke! 326 00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:28,242 {\an8}Burabura shitero tokoro ja nai! 327 00:14:28,325 --> 00:14:32,997 {\an8}Ore to issho ni nasu ka shinu ki ka? 328 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:36,000 {\an8}ALL: Isamashii honin rogo desu ne! 329 00:14:36,083 --> 00:14:41,046 {\an8}Mister Sparkle no charenji ni ojimasu! 330 00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:42,590 Awesome power! 331 00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:46,677 (drumming) 332 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:49,513 (giggling) 333 00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:52,683 {\an8}Natsu yasumi no keikaku wa do desho? 334 00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:59,607 {\an8}Mister Sparkle! 335 00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:03,027 {\an8}Un no yoi besto washu! 336 00:15:06,363 --> 00:15:08,282 Boring! 337 00:15:08,365 --> 00:15:10,200 That didn't explain anything. 338 00:15:10,284 --> 00:15:12,077 All I know is they stole my face 339 00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:14,705 and used it for their stupid logo. 340 00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:16,540 There's no other explanation. 341 00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:17,875 Wait, look. 342 00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:19,293 ANNOUNCER: Mr. Sparkle, 343 00:15:19,376 --> 00:15:22,338 a joint venture of Matsumura Fishworks, 344 00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:25,883 and Tamaribuchi Heavy Manufacturing Concern. 345 00:15:30,679 --> 00:15:33,265 Hey, it was all a coincidence. 346 00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:35,559 Yep. There's your answer, fish bulb. 347 00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:39,104 Well, it was a good ride while it lasted. 348 00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:41,148 Come on, kids, let's go home. 349 00:15:41,231 --> 00:15:42,191 We are home. 350 00:15:42,274 --> 00:15:43,943 That was fast. 351 00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:48,656 You've just got to accept it. Your Gameboy is gone. 352 00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:50,574 It's at the bottom of the ocean. 353 00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:53,410 Aye, aye. 354 00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:54,787 Aye. 355 00:15:56,538 --> 00:15:57,665 (phone rings) 356 00:15:57,748 --> 00:15:59,166 Hello. Listen Lady. 357 00:15:59,249 --> 00:16:03,128 Uh... I'm in some hot soup here, Marge. 358 00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:05,381 Some teenagers are hanging out in front of the store. 359 00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:08,342 I-I think they could start slacking at any moment. 360 00:16:08,425 --> 00:16:10,678 Well, Ned, you don't have to stand for that. 361 00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:12,680 You just march right up to those youngsters 362 00:16:12,763 --> 00:16:14,139 and tell them to vamoose. 363 00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:15,724 Yeah, well... 364 00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:17,643 if you're sure that will help... 365 00:16:17,726 --> 00:16:20,396 Hey, let's go over to the one-hour photo 366 00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:21,939 and breathe some fumes. 367 00:16:22,022 --> 00:16:23,315 Uh, excuse me, fellas. 368 00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:25,359 I couldn't help thinking it might be nice 369 00:16:25,442 --> 00:16:27,319 if you could, uh, vamoose, you know? 370 00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:29,113 (nervous chuckle) If possible. 371 00:16:31,573 --> 00:16:33,158 (phone ringing) 372 00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:34,618 Hello. Listen Lady. 373 00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:37,287 Uh... Marge I-I appreciate your advice 374 00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:39,289 but, uh, things have gotten-- (chuckles) 375 00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:41,500 Well, they-they're, uh, a lot worse. 376 00:16:41,583 --> 00:16:43,085 (ominous laughter) 377 00:16:47,589 --> 00:16:50,634 Now, Ned, troubled boys need rules and discipline. 378 00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:52,177 They crave it! 379 00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:53,762 You just lay down the law. 380 00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:56,432 Well, yeah, I know, but they-- 381 00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:58,350 They're on their mini-bikes and all. 382 00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:00,394 Oh, all right, let me talk to them. 383 00:17:00,477 --> 00:17:01,854 Put me on with the lead boy. 384 00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:05,357 Boys, there's a call here for you. 385 00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:06,942 (dial tone) 386 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:09,862 Hmm. Oh, well. 387 00:17:09,945 --> 00:17:11,321 (water gurgles) 388 00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:15,034 (doorbell rings) 389 00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:18,203 Oh, good morning, Maude. 390 00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:19,663 Morning, Marge. 391 00:17:19,747 --> 00:17:21,999 Um, did your husband come home last night? 392 00:17:22,082 --> 00:17:23,042 Of course he did. 393 00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:25,002 Really? Oh... 394 00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:27,463 because the thing is, um... 395 00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:28,672 mine didn't. 396 00:17:28,756 --> 00:17:31,050 (gasps) Oh, my God, Ned! 397 00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:32,718 (gasping) 398 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,185 Yes, Marge? 399 00:17:41,268 --> 00:17:44,480 Reverend, I gave Ned Flanders some bad advice. 400 00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:47,274 Now he could be in real trouble. 401 00:17:47,357 --> 00:17:48,609 (groaning) What happened now? 402 00:17:48,692 --> 00:17:50,444 Did he swallow a paper clip? 403 00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:52,488 No. He's disappeared. 404 00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:55,074 Oh, I'm in way over my head. 405 00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:56,533 I mean, where do the helpers turn 406 00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:57,659 when they need help? 407 00:17:57,743 --> 00:18:00,037 ♪♪ (organ) 408 00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:04,958 Sorry. 409 00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:06,335 (phone rings) 410 00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:09,338 Marge, why don't you let me handle this? 411 00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:10,464 (ringing) 412 00:18:10,547 --> 00:18:12,049 Hello? Church basement. 413 00:18:12,132 --> 00:18:14,885 (panting) Yeah, it's Ned Flanders. 414 00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:17,096 The teens have been chasing me all night. 415 00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:20,349 They-They finally stopped to gas up their scooters. 416 00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:21,767 Ned! Where are you?! 417 00:18:21,850 --> 00:18:23,727 Well, I can't see the name of the station 418 00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:27,564 but the gas costs 1.49 and 8/10. 419 00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:29,483 Eight tenths? 420 00:18:29,566 --> 00:18:30,943 Donny's Discount Gas! 421 00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:33,529 (tires screeching) 422 00:18:33,612 --> 00:18:35,114 Thanks for swinging by the house, Reverend. 423 00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:36,406 -Donny? -What? 424 00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:37,574 Did you see a man being chased 425 00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:39,284 by some young hooligans? 426 00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:40,661 I see lots of stuff. 427 00:18:40,744 --> 00:18:42,121 Did you see that? 428 00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:43,247 Yes. 429 00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:50,712 Huh. Looks like we lost him. 430 00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:52,589 Yeah. Well, we proved our point. 431 00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:54,049 He'll think twice 432 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,927 next time he tries to defend his business. 433 00:18:57,010 --> 00:18:59,096 (yawning) I'm sleepy. 434 00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:00,097 Let's go to school. 435 00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:06,728 (sighs) They're leaving. 436 00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:08,355 The ordeal is over. 437 00:19:08,438 --> 00:19:09,523 (screeching) 438 00:19:09,606 --> 00:19:10,691 (screaming) 439 00:19:10,774 --> 00:19:11,859 Ned! 440 00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:12,943 {\an8}-Mr. Flanders! -Mr. Flanders! 441 00:19:13,026 --> 00:19:14,903 Flanders, where are you?! 442 00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:16,321 (all yelling) 443 00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:18,657 Hey, Flanders, it's me! 444 00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:21,243 Heh Mr. Sparkaru! Mr. Sparkaru! 445 00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:22,703 Konnichi-wa. 446 00:19:22,786 --> 00:19:24,163 (Flanders screaming) 447 00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:26,456 (gasping) 448 00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:29,668 (gasps) That came from Baboon County, USA! 449 00:19:32,796 --> 00:19:34,590 Help! What do I do?! 450 00:19:34,673 --> 00:19:35,716 Play dead! 451 00:19:35,799 --> 00:19:37,134 No! Run around in circles! 452 00:19:37,217 --> 00:19:38,844 No! Act like a lion! 453 00:19:38,927 --> 00:19:40,679 Swipe at the dominant male! 454 00:19:40,762 --> 00:19:42,764 Come on, Ned! Knock that monkey down! 455 00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:44,850 Jumpin' kangaroo rats! 456 00:19:48,645 --> 00:19:50,230 You've got to get him out of there. 457 00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:51,732 Geez, I'd like to, 458 00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:53,233 but if they don't kill the intruder 459 00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:55,235 it's really bad for their society. 460 00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:57,279 -They're going to kill him? -Eventually. 461 00:19:57,362 --> 00:19:58,780 First, they'll eat his skin. 462 00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:00,574 -(gasping) -Eww. 463 00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:06,705 Tell Maude I want a fancy funeral! 464 00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:08,624 Big coffin! Lots of jewels! 465 00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:11,501 (whistle blows) 466 00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:18,258 {\an8}Look! It's Reverend Lovejoy! 467 00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:20,385 Thank heavens! 468 00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:22,638 Entrust your hand to mine, Ned. 469 00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:28,477 (groaning) 470 00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,604 (howling and screeching) 471 00:20:30,687 --> 00:20:32,856 Oh! Oh-- 472 00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:34,316 Thank the Lord. 473 00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:35,984 He's truly watching over-- 474 00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:38,028 -(screaming) -(screeching) 475 00:20:38,111 --> 00:20:41,698 Say your prayers, you heathen baboons! 476 00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:42,741 (grunting) 477 00:20:57,673 --> 00:20:58,715 Wow. 478 00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:00,634 Oh! Those poor monkeys. 479 00:21:00,717 --> 00:21:01,718 They started it. 480 00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:03,303 (gasping) 481 00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:05,097 You saved me, Reverend. 482 00:21:05,180 --> 00:21:07,516 You really went above and beyond. 483 00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:08,850 Thank you. 484 00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:11,728 Oh, don't thank me. Thank Marge Simpson. 485 00:21:11,812 --> 00:21:14,731 She taught me that there's more to being a minister 486 00:21:14,815 --> 00:21:16,858 than not caring about people. 487 00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:18,026 (chuckling) 488 00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:19,444 Amen! 489 00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:24,658 (baboons screeching) 490 00:21:27,786 --> 00:21:30,872 ...baboons to the left of me, baboons to the right, 491 00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:32,582 the speeding locomotive tore through 492 00:21:32,666 --> 00:21:35,043 a sea of inhuman fangs. 493 00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:38,255 A pair of the great apes rose up at me, but biff-bam! 494 00:21:38,338 --> 00:21:42,050 I sent them flying like two hairy footballs. 495 00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:44,511 A third came screaming at me-- 496 00:21:44,594 --> 00:21:47,055 (imitating baboon hissing) 497 00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:48,932 And that's when I got mad. 498 00:21:49,016 --> 00:21:50,809 Now that's religion! 499 00:21:57,983 --> 00:22:00,861 ♪♪ 500 00:22:38,940 --> 00:22:40,692 Shh! 501 00:22:42,944 --> 00:22:46,156 CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.