1 00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:06,131 {\an8}♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:10,427 D'oh! 3 00:00:10,510 --> 00:00:11,761 -Ahh! -(tires screeching) 4 00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:29,404 {\an8}...which, if true means death for us all. 5 00:00:29,487 --> 00:00:31,072 And now, Kent's people. 6 00:00:31,156 --> 00:00:34,409 {\an8}Tonight's inspiring story is about Frank Grimes, 7 00:00:34,492 --> 00:00:36,244 {\an8}a 35-year-old Springfieldite 8 00:00:36,327 --> 00:00:38,455 {\an8}who's earned everything the hard way 9 00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:41,583 {\an8}but never let adversity get him down. 10 00:00:41,666 --> 00:00:43,626 {\an8}Abandoned by his parents at age four, 11 00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:45,879 {\an8}Frank never got to go to school. 12 00:00:45,962 --> 00:00:48,882 {\an8}He spent his childhood years as a delivery boy 13 00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:52,635 {\an8}delivering toys to more fortunate children. 14 00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:55,180 {\an8}Then, on his 18th birthday 15 00:00:55,263 --> 00:00:57,682 {\an8}he was blown up in a silo explosion. 16 00:00:59,684 --> 00:01:01,311 {\an8}During his long recuperation 17 00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:04,147 {\an8}he taught himself to hear and feel pain again. 18 00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:05,732 {\an8}As the years passed 19 00:01:05,815 --> 00:01:07,442 {\an8}he used his few leisure moments each day 20 00:01:07,525 --> 00:01:09,027 {\an8}to study science by mail. 21 00:01:09,110 --> 00:01:11,821 {\an8}And last week Frank Grimes-- 22 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:15,241 {\an8}the man who had to struggle for everything he ever got-- 23 00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:17,994 {\an8}received his correspondence school diploma 24 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,412 {\an8}in nuclear physics... 25 00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:22,582 {\an8}with a minor in determination. 26 00:01:22,665 --> 00:01:23,792 {\an8}(screeching) 27 00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:30,381 {\an8}That's the kind of man I need on my team, Smithers. 28 00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:34,010 {\an8}A real scrapper-- a self-made man like me. 29 00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:36,179 {\an8}Bring this Grimes fellow to me. 30 00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:39,390 {\an8}I want to make him my executive vice president. 31 00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:40,391 Yes, sir. 32 00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:45,271 Smithers, I've just seen 33 00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:47,190 the most heroic dog on television. 34 00:01:47,273 --> 00:01:50,110 He pulled a toddler from the path of a speeding car 35 00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:51,694 then pushed a criminal in front of it. 36 00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,071 Find this dog. 37 00:01:53,154 --> 00:01:55,865 I want to make him my executive vice president. 38 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,575 Uh, yes, sir. 39 00:01:57,659 --> 00:01:59,160 I-In the meantime, here's Frank Grimes. 40 00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:05,083 The-- The self-made man? 41 00:02:05,166 --> 00:02:07,627 What? Oh, yes, that fellow. 42 00:02:07,710 --> 00:02:09,254 Oh, just put him somewhere out of the way 43 00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:10,839 and find that dog! 44 00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:12,549 Yes, sir. 45 00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:13,925 Ahh. 46 00:02:14,008 --> 00:02:17,554 Chair goes round, chair goes round... 47 00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:19,013 Hey, Homey, you busy? 48 00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:20,473 Yes. 49 00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:22,100 Hey, there's a new guy at the plant. 50 00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:23,810 Maybe we ought to say "hi" to him. 51 00:02:23,893 --> 00:02:25,395 I don't know. 52 00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:27,021 I'm kind of dizzy. 53 00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:28,815 I should probably go home sick. 54 00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:32,443 Hm. Hmm. 55 00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:33,444 Mm-hm. 56 00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:36,447 Hm. 57 00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:37,574 (scrunching) 58 00:02:40,618 --> 00:02:41,870 You new? 59 00:02:41,953 --> 00:02:44,706 Yes. My name is Frank Grimes. 60 00:02:44,789 --> 00:02:46,124 I'm Lenny. 61 00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:47,750 This is Carl and Homer. 62 00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,586 -I'm Lenny. -How do you do? 63 00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:52,338 Wow. You got pencils with your name on 'em 64 00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:55,008 just like a pencil company executive. 65 00:02:55,091 --> 00:02:57,051 I'd give anything for one of these. 66 00:02:57,135 --> 00:02:59,762 Any office supply company can have them made up for you. 67 00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,514 -Can I have this one? -No. 68 00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:04,184 -Can Lenny have it? -No. 69 00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:06,811 Oh, that's my degree in nuclear physics. 70 00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:08,354 I'm sure you all have one. 71 00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:10,982 Oh, yeah. Carl and I each have a master's. 72 00:03:11,065 --> 00:03:13,026 'Course old Homer, he didn't need a degree. 73 00:03:13,109 --> 00:03:15,612 He showed up the day they opened the plant. 74 00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:18,114 I didn't even know what a nuclear panner plant was. 75 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,157 Um... 76 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,366 (chuckles) 77 00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:22,202 Yeah. Well, listen, 78 00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:24,746 I'm sure we all have a lot of work to do. 79 00:03:24,829 --> 00:03:26,039 BOTH: Hm. 80 00:03:29,083 --> 00:03:31,753 Hey, you seem like a great guy, so I'll give you a little tip: 81 00:03:31,836 --> 00:03:33,671 If you turn that security camera around, 82 00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:37,217 you can sleep, and no one will ever know. 83 00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,552 Uh, I don't think we're being paid to sleep. 84 00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:42,055 Oh, yeah, they're always trying to screw ya. 85 00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:43,806 Huh. 86 00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:47,810 "Marge" is already taken? 87 00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:48,978 Mm, how about "Marjorie?" 88 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:50,188 (keyboard rattling) 89 00:03:50,271 --> 00:03:54,025 -Oh, sorry, ma'am. -Mm... 90 00:03:54,108 --> 00:03:55,568 How about... "Mitzi?" 91 00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:56,819 (keyboard rattling) 92 00:03:56,903 --> 00:04:00,073 Uh-uh. Uh, you can have "Nitzi." 93 00:04:00,156 --> 00:04:01,407 Hmm... "Nitzi..." 94 00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:02,492 I'm outta here. 95 00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:07,038 MAN: Ladies and gentlemen, our next lot is number 751. 96 00:04:07,121 --> 00:04:09,165 How much am I bid for item 751? 97 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,667 Seven-five-one? 98 00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:14,796 Nothing. No bids for item 751? 99 00:04:14,879 --> 00:04:15,964 A buck! 100 00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:16,965 I have a buck. I have one dollar... 101 00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:18,633 (extended auctioneer patter) 102 00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:28,184 Sold! For a buck. 103 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,769 Cool. What'd I buy? 104 00:04:29,852 --> 00:04:31,354 35 Industry Way. 105 00:04:38,319 --> 00:04:39,570 Looks like my years of hard work 106 00:04:39,654 --> 00:04:40,989 have finally paid off. 107 00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:43,950 (Homer gulping) 108 00:04:44,033 --> 00:04:45,743 Hiya, Stretch, what's the good word? 109 00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:47,787 My name is Grimes, uh, Simpson. 110 00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:50,415 Frank Grimes. I took the trouble to learn your name. 111 00:04:50,498 --> 00:04:52,208 The least you can do is... learn mine. 112 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:55,378 (chuckling) Okay, Grimy. 113 00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:58,214 Uh, you're eating my special dietetic lunch. 114 00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:00,300 Huh? 115 00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:02,010 (chuckling) Oh, gee... 116 00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:03,052 Oh, I'm sorry. 117 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,762 The bag was clearly marked. 118 00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:06,180 Please be more careful in the future. 119 00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:07,557 Check. 120 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,058 (gulps) 121 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:14,230 (humming) 122 00:05:15,773 --> 00:05:16,691 Mmm 123 00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:19,902 {\an8}Ugh... 124 00:05:23,197 --> 00:05:24,824 Simpson, do you know who chewed my-- 125 00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:29,871 (snaps) 126 00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:34,250 Wow. 127 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,419 It's filthy, and it's mine. 128 00:05:39,255 --> 00:05:40,298 (laughs) 129 00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:45,136 (clanks) 130 00:05:52,226 --> 00:05:53,311 -(hissing) -Whee! 131 00:05:53,394 --> 00:05:54,729 (squeaking) 132 00:05:54,812 --> 00:05:55,730 (Bart groans) 133 00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,233 So, how's it going, Grimy? 134 00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:00,610 I-I'd appreciate it 135 00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:02,528 if you'd stay out of my office, Simpson. 136 00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:03,988 (laughs) 137 00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:06,199 I wish I had a nickel for every time I heard that. 138 00:06:06,282 --> 00:06:08,117 (makes obnoxious sounds) 139 00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:15,583 ♪ Take me out to the ball game ♪ 140 00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:20,630 ♪ Take me out to the ball-ah... ♪ 141 00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:21,756 So... what's new, Grimy? 142 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:22,840 (beeping) 143 00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:25,385 Simpson, you've got a 5-13. 144 00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:26,844 No, a 5-13! 145 00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:29,138 In your procedures manual? A 5-13? 146 00:06:32,016 --> 00:06:34,435 Look at your control panel. 147 00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:36,270 Oh! 148 00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:38,940 A 5-13. 149 00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:39,941 I'll handle it. 150 00:06:40,024 --> 00:06:41,442 (buzzing) 151 00:06:45,154 --> 00:06:46,072 That got it. 152 00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:57,083 (whistles) 153 00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:58,584 Hey, Milhouse! 154 00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:00,711 You want a job in my factory? 155 00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:03,381 You don't have a factory. 156 00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:05,591 Hey, I'm a busy man. You want a job or not? 157 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:06,592 Okay. 158 00:07:09,345 --> 00:07:10,263 (crunching) 159 00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:15,143 God, he eats like a pig. 160 00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:17,603 I don't know. Pigs tend to chew. 161 00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:19,313 I'd say he eats more like a duck. 162 00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:23,734 Well, some kind of farm animal, anyway. 163 00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:24,986 And earlier today 164 00:07:25,069 --> 00:07:27,655 I saw him asleep inside a radiation suit. 165 00:07:27,738 --> 00:07:29,740 (chuckles) Can you imagine that? 166 00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:31,284 He was hanging from a coat hook! 167 00:07:31,367 --> 00:07:32,535 He had three beers at lunch. 168 00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:34,120 That would make anybody sleepy. 169 00:07:34,203 --> 00:07:35,913 I've never seen him do any work around here. 170 00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:37,123 W-What is his job? 171 00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:38,207 Safety inspector. 172 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,750 That irresponsible oaf?! 173 00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:41,169 A man who, by all rights 174 00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:43,171 should have been killed dozens of times by now? 175 00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:46,090 Eh, 316 times, by my count. 176 00:07:46,174 --> 00:07:48,759 That's the man who's in charge of our safety? 177 00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:50,219 I-It boggles the mind. 178 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,471 It's best not to think about it. 179 00:07:56,392 --> 00:07:57,310 (grunts) 180 00:08:01,522 --> 00:08:03,024 You idiot! 181 00:08:03,107 --> 00:08:05,568 You nearly drank a beaker full of sulfuric acid! 182 00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:08,321 Acid, eh? Gee, that would have been stupid. 183 00:08:08,404 --> 00:08:09,405 (laughs) 184 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,407 Boy, would my face have been red. 185 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,451 (laughing) 186 00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:18,623 Stop laughing, you imbecile! 187 00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:20,208 Don't you realize how close you just came 188 00:08:20,291 --> 00:08:21,209 to killing yourself? 189 00:08:25,713 --> 00:08:27,798 Who did this to my wall? 190 00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:28,883 He did. 191 00:08:28,966 --> 00:08:30,510 Is this true? 192 00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:33,679 I, well, uh, technically it is true, sir, but-- 193 00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:35,139 Come with me. 194 00:08:37,558 --> 00:08:40,436 He likes you. 195 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:41,938 (barking) 196 00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:43,773 BURNS: How dare you destroy my valuable wall 197 00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:45,358 and spill my priceless acid?! 198 00:08:45,441 --> 00:08:46,776 Did you think you were going to get away with it? 199 00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:49,111 -GRIMES: I wasn't-- -BURNS: Silence! 200 00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:50,655 I'm going to give you one more chance... 201 00:08:50,738 --> 00:08:52,615 at a reduced salary. 202 00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:54,408 So straighten up and fly right. 203 00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:55,451 GRIMES: But, sir, if I could-- 204 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,203 (barking and growling) 205 00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:03,876 Hi, Grimy, old buddy. 206 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,461 I'm not your buddy, Simpson! 207 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,463 I don't like you. In fact, I hate you. 208 00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,423 Stay the hell away from me! 209 00:09:09,507 --> 00:09:12,677 Because from now on... we're enemies! 210 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:14,470 Okay. 211 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,639 Do I have to do anything? 212 00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:18,391 (groans) 213 00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,940 Oh, I can't believe it. I got an enemy. 214 00:09:26,023 --> 00:09:29,193 Me. The most beloved man in Springfield. 215 00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:30,319 Ah, it's a weird world, Homer. 216 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,154 As hard as it is to believe, 217 00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:33,990 some people don't care for me neither. 218 00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:36,033 No, I won't accept that. 219 00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:37,326 No, it's true. 220 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,995 I got their names written down right here 221 00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:41,789 in what I call my, uh, enemies list. 222 00:09:41,872 --> 00:09:46,002 Jane Fonda, Daniel Shore, Jack Anderson-- 223 00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:49,213 Hey! This is Richard Nixon's enemies list. 224 00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:51,966 You just crossed out his name and put yours. 225 00:09:52,049 --> 00:09:54,510 Okay, give me that. Give me it back. 226 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:57,054 Barney Gumbel. 227 00:09:57,138 --> 00:09:58,180 Oh. 228 00:09:58,264 --> 00:09:59,640 Oh, what'll I do, Moe? 229 00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:01,392 Well, why don't you invite him over to dinner? 230 00:10:01,475 --> 00:10:03,561 Turn him from an enemy into a friend. 231 00:10:03,644 --> 00:10:05,021 Then, when he's not expecting it-- 232 00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:07,940 Bam! The old fork in the eye. 233 00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:08,983 Do you think it might work 234 00:10:09,066 --> 00:10:11,694 without the fork in the eye? 235 00:10:11,777 --> 00:10:12,695 There's always a first time. 236 00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:19,869 This dinner has to go absolutely perfect 237 00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:22,288 if Grimy and me are going to be friends. 238 00:10:22,371 --> 00:10:23,873 Lisa, be perfect. 239 00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:26,000 -Okay. -Marge, perfect. 240 00:10:26,083 --> 00:10:28,127 Bart, perfect. Other kid, perfect. 241 00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:30,087 I only have five lobsters. Are you sure 242 00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:31,839 he's not bringing anyone with him? 243 00:10:31,922 --> 00:10:33,883 No, no. He doesn't know he's coming to dinner. 244 00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:35,926 I didn't think he'd come, so I called and said 245 00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:37,887 I have something really important to tell him 246 00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:39,639 and that I could only tell him about it here. 247 00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:41,849 -(doorbell rings) -It's him! 248 00:10:41,932 --> 00:10:43,851 (singsongy) It's him! It's him! It's him! 249 00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:45,895 Calm down. Homer, calm down. 250 00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:47,271 Answer the door. 251 00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:48,814 (gasping) 252 00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:52,902 Welcome to the Simpson residence 253 00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:54,236 or casa de Simpson, as I call it. 254 00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:57,865 Yeah, what did you want to see me about, Simpson? 255 00:10:57,948 --> 00:10:59,200 This better be important. 256 00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:00,576 It is. It is. 257 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:03,704 But first, let me introduce you to my family. 258 00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,915 My perfect family. 259 00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:07,416 This is my wife, Marge. 260 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,542 Hello. 261 00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:10,628 HOMER: And our beautiful baby. 262 00:11:10,711 --> 00:11:13,339 My daughter Lisa I.Q.-156. 263 00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:14,382 Hi. 264 00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:16,342 HOMER: See, and my son Bart. 265 00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:18,219 He owns a factory downtown. 266 00:11:18,302 --> 00:11:20,179 How do you do? Look, Homer, I'm late 267 00:11:20,262 --> 00:11:21,555 for my night job at the foundry 268 00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:23,057 so if you don't mind telling me... 269 00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:28,562 Good heavens! This is a palace. 270 00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,272 How in the world can you afford to live 271 00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:32,024 in a house like this, Simpson? 272 00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,443 I don't know. Don't ask me how the economy works. 273 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:37,071 Yeah, but look at the size of this place. 274 00:11:37,154 --> 00:11:39,657 I live in a single room above a bowling alley 275 00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:41,575 and below another bowling alley. 276 00:11:41,659 --> 00:11:42,660 Wow. 277 00:11:42,743 --> 00:11:44,120 I'm sorry, isn't that-- 278 00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:45,287 Yeah, that's me all right. 279 00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:46,956 And the guy standing next to me 280 00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:48,666 is president Gerald Ford. 281 00:11:48,749 --> 00:11:50,459 And this is when I was on tour 282 00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:51,961 with the Smashing Pumpkins. 283 00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:54,547 Oh, and here's a picture of me in outer space. 284 00:11:54,630 --> 00:11:56,716 You... went into outer space? 285 00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:57,883 You? 286 00:11:57,967 --> 00:12:00,761 Sure. You've never been? 287 00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,388 Would you like to see my Grammy award? 288 00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:04,098 No! I wouldn't! 289 00:12:04,181 --> 00:12:06,934 God! I've had to work hard every day of my life 290 00:12:07,017 --> 00:12:09,061 and what do I have to show for it? 291 00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:11,772 This briefcase and this haircut! 292 00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:13,149 And what do you have to show 293 00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:15,818 for your lifetime of sloth and ignorance? 294 00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:18,946 -What? -Everything! 295 00:12:19,029 --> 00:12:21,991 A dream house, two cars, a beautiful wife, 296 00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:25,161 a son who owns a factory, fancy clothes, and-- 297 00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:26,287 (sniffing) 298 00:12:26,370 --> 00:12:27,955 Lobsters for dinner! 299 00:12:28,038 --> 00:12:29,999 And do you deserve any of it? 300 00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:31,167 No! 301 00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:34,420 (gasps) What are you saying? 302 00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:36,380 I'm saying, you're what's wrong 303 00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:38,090 with America, Simpson. 304 00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:39,425 You coast through life. 305 00:12:39,508 --> 00:12:40,968 You do as little as possible 306 00:12:41,051 --> 00:12:42,762 and you leach off decent 307 00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:45,347 hardworking people like me. 308 00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:47,099 If you lived in any other country in the world, 309 00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:49,059 you would have starved to death long ago. 310 00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:51,020 He's got you there, Dad. 311 00:12:51,103 --> 00:12:52,313 You're a fraud. 312 00:12:52,396 --> 00:12:55,065 A total fraud. 313 00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:56,317 It was nice meeting you. 314 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:57,777 (door slams) 315 00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:08,329 MILHOUSE: Wow... adding machines. 316 00:13:08,412 --> 00:13:10,581 Industrial waste. 317 00:13:10,664 --> 00:13:13,000 What should we do with all this stuff, Bart? 318 00:13:13,083 --> 00:13:14,919 I think we both know the answer to that. 319 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:25,763 (sighs) 320 00:13:25,846 --> 00:13:26,972 (knocking) 321 00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:28,224 Get to work. 322 00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:30,392 (stairs squeaking) 323 00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:33,020 BOTH: Wacky shack! 324 00:13:33,103 --> 00:13:34,772 Better be careful, Bart. 325 00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:36,732 Look at those warning signs. 326 00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:41,278 Solve your problem, Milhouse? 327 00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:42,822 Yup. 328 00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:43,906 (stairs squeaking) 329 00:13:50,412 --> 00:13:51,330 Hm? 330 00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:53,874 (knocking) 331 00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:55,042 Homer. 332 00:13:55,125 --> 00:13:57,044 Homer, why aren't you at work? 333 00:13:57,127 --> 00:13:58,879 The car won't start. 334 00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:00,756 I don't feel very good today. 335 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:01,799 I am at work. 336 00:14:01,882 --> 00:14:03,259 You're afraid to go to work 337 00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:05,427 because Frank Grimes will be there, aren't you? 338 00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:08,138 That's crazy talk. 339 00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:10,307 You're crazy, Marge. Get off the road. 340 00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:12,476 (honks horn) 341 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:14,436 You'll have to face him sometime, 342 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,313 and when you do, I'm sure he'll be 343 00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:18,274 just as anxious to make up as you are. 344 00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:20,317 No, he won't. He hates me. 345 00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:21,902 He doesn't hate you. 346 00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:23,362 He just feels insecure 347 00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:25,489 because you're getting through life so easily, 348 00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:28,158 and it's been so difficult for him. 349 00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:30,369 Yeah. Yeah. That's his problem. 350 00:14:30,452 --> 00:14:31,662 He's a nut. 351 00:14:31,745 --> 00:14:34,331 It's not about me being lazy. 352 00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:36,792 It's about him being a crazy nut. 353 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:39,503 Well... maybe. 354 00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:41,505 But I'll bet he would be less crazy 355 00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:43,132 if you were just a little more, 356 00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:45,301 mm... professional in your work. 357 00:14:45,384 --> 00:14:46,427 (gasps) 358 00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:48,387 Just a little more. 359 00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:51,390 Then he won't have any reason to resent you. 360 00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:53,309 I'll do it. 361 00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:54,310 To professionalism. 362 00:15:04,194 --> 00:15:06,196 Good morning, fellow employee. 363 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:09,158 You'll notice that I am now a model worker. 364 00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:11,327 We should continue this conversation later 365 00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:13,495 during a designated break period. 366 00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:15,623 Sincerely, Homer Simpson. 367 00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:17,583 (beeping) 368 00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,879 Can you believe that guy? 369 00:15:21,962 --> 00:15:23,088 He's in his office making a pathetic attempt 370 00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:24,548 to look professional. 371 00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:25,966 Hey, what do you got against Homer anyway? 372 00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:27,551 Are you kidding? 373 00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:29,428 Does this whole plant have some disease 374 00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:31,096 where it can't see that he's an idiot? 375 00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:32,348 Look here. 376 00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:34,183 Accidents have doubled every year 377 00:15:34,266 --> 00:15:36,018 since he became safety inspector. 378 00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:37,353 And meltdowns have tripled. 379 00:15:37,436 --> 00:15:39,146 Has he been fired? No. 380 00:15:39,229 --> 00:15:40,606 Has he been disciplined? No, no. 381 00:15:40,689 --> 00:15:42,733 Ah, everybody makes mistakes. 382 00:15:42,816 --> 00:15:44,610 That's why they put erasers on pencils. 383 00:15:44,693 --> 00:15:46,612 Yeah, Homer's okay. Give him a break. 384 00:15:46,695 --> 00:15:48,822 No. Homer is not okay. 385 00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:50,991 And I want everyone in this plant to realize it. 386 00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:53,160 I would die a happy man if I could prove to you 387 00:15:53,243 --> 00:15:54,620 that Homer Simpson has the intelligence 388 00:15:54,703 --> 00:15:55,746 of a six year old. 389 00:15:57,665 --> 00:15:59,917 So, how you doing? 390 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,335 (groans) 391 00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:04,755 Hmm? 392 00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:07,716 Uh, here we go. 393 00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:21,146 Mm-hm. 394 00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:23,816 Ahh. 395 00:16:23,899 --> 00:16:26,402 Design your own power plant, eh? 396 00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:28,445 This is my chance to show everyone 397 00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:30,197 how professional I am. 398 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,116 Lenny, tell Mr. Burns I've gone home 399 00:16:32,199 --> 00:16:34,576 to work on the contest. 400 00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:36,578 (chuckling) 401 00:16:43,127 --> 00:16:44,962 Oh, God! 402 00:16:48,173 --> 00:16:49,633 (power tool grinding) 403 00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:51,552 (Homer shouting, indistinct) 404 00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:56,557 Ow! (shouting) 405 00:16:58,559 --> 00:17:01,270 Can I go downstairs and see what Dad's doing? 406 00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:03,188 I wouldn't bother him, honey. 407 00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:05,607 He's making some kind of model for a contest. 408 00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:07,568 He says it's really high-tech stuff 409 00:17:07,651 --> 00:17:09,653 that we wouldn't understand. 410 00:17:09,737 --> 00:17:11,697 Marge, do we have any elbow macaroni 411 00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:13,198 and glue-on sparkles? 412 00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:14,742 -(banging) -(grunting) 413 00:17:19,997 --> 00:17:21,165 (whistle blowing) 414 00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:23,584 Oh, boy! Quittin' time! 415 00:17:27,671 --> 00:17:28,881 Just a minute, Van Houten. 416 00:17:28,964 --> 00:17:30,924 Somebody needs to guard this place tonight 417 00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:32,509 so it doesn't get trashed. 418 00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:34,386 How'd you like to be night watchman? 419 00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:35,846 But I'm sleepy. 420 00:17:35,929 --> 00:17:37,806 Oh, no problemo. 421 00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:38,974 Here's a nickel for the coffee machine. 422 00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:46,356 (squeaking) 423 00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:54,615 So this is my life. 424 00:17:54,698 --> 00:17:57,451 At least I've done better than Dad. 425 00:17:57,534 --> 00:18:00,746 (whistling, gasps) 426 00:18:00,829 --> 00:18:03,123 Aw, geez! 427 00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:04,833 Milhouse, how could you let this happen? 428 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,960 You were supposed to be the night watchman. 429 00:18:07,044 --> 00:18:08,087 I was watching. 430 00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:09,922 I saw the whole thing. 431 00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:12,091 First, it started falling over, 432 00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:13,467 and then it fell over. 433 00:18:13,550 --> 00:18:14,968 Wow. 434 00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:17,971 I wonder where all the rats are gonna go. 435 00:18:18,055 --> 00:18:19,807 (rats squeaking) 436 00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:24,478 MOE: Okay, everybody, 437 00:18:24,561 --> 00:18:26,230 tuck your pants into your socks. 438 00:18:29,024 --> 00:18:30,484 And the bold new ideas 439 00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:33,112 these tiny tykes unveil for us today 440 00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:37,241 could make thousands of jobs like yours obsolete! 441 00:18:37,324 --> 00:18:38,826 (scant applause) 442 00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:42,955 Our first little genius is Ralph Wiggum. 443 00:18:46,750 --> 00:18:47,751 It's pretty good, sir. 444 00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:51,547 Hot tub? Media room? 445 00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:53,298 It's supposed to be a power plant 446 00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:55,509 not Aunt Beulah's bordello. 447 00:18:55,592 --> 00:18:57,344 Thank you. Get out. 448 00:18:57,427 --> 00:18:59,888 Next. 449 00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:01,849 WIGGUM: Uh, Ralphy, get off the stage, sweetheart. 450 00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:08,605 Behold! 451 00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:12,985 The power plant of the future... today! 452 00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:14,361 (moans) 453 00:19:14,444 --> 00:19:15,946 Too cold and sterile. 454 00:19:16,029 --> 00:19:18,157 Where's the heart? 455 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,117 But it really generates power. 456 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,244 It's lighting this room right now. 457 00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:27,374 You lose. Get off my property. 458 00:19:27,457 --> 00:19:28,584 Let's have the next child. 459 00:19:30,794 --> 00:19:32,129 Look, everybody! 460 00:19:32,212 --> 00:19:33,839 Simpson's in a contest with children! 461 00:19:33,922 --> 00:19:35,215 Hey, shh! 462 00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:36,758 You're making us miss the contest. 463 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,305 Could you explain your model, young man? 464 00:19:41,388 --> 00:19:42,556 What's to explain?! 465 00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:43,599 He's an idiot?! 466 00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:45,517 LENNY: Pipe down! 467 00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:48,729 Well, basically, I just copied the plant we have now. 468 00:19:48,812 --> 00:19:50,189 Mm... 469 00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:53,400 Then, I added some fins to lower wind resistance. 470 00:19:53,483 --> 00:19:56,361 And this racing stripe here I feel is pretty sharp. 471 00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:58,697 Agreed. First prize. 472 00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:00,699 -What?! -Way to go, Homer! 473 00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:02,367 You're number one, Homer! 474 00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:04,995 But it was a contest for children! 475 00:20:05,078 --> 00:20:07,164 Yeah, and Homer beat their brains out! 476 00:20:07,247 --> 00:20:08,832 (cheering) 477 00:20:08,916 --> 00:20:11,126 CROWD: Yeah! Yeah! 478 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,837 I can't stand it any longer. This whole plant is insane! 479 00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:15,547 Insane, I tell you! 480 00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:18,258 (screams) 481 00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:21,678 I can be lazy, too! 482 00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:23,430 Look at me! 483 00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:26,850 Hi! I'm a worthless employee just like Homer Simpson! 484 00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:28,185 Give me a promotion! 485 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,857 Ooh, I eat like a slob, but nobody minds! 486 00:20:33,941 --> 00:20:35,192 (gobbling loudly) 487 00:20:38,445 --> 00:20:39,780 I'm peeing on the seat! 488 00:20:39,863 --> 00:20:42,199 Give me a raise! 489 00:20:42,282 --> 00:20:44,952 Now I'm returning to work without washing my hands! 490 00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:46,245 But it doesn't matter 491 00:20:46,328 --> 00:20:48,747 because I'm Homer Simpson. 492 00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:50,666 I don't need to do my work 493 00:20:50,749 --> 00:20:52,834 'cause someone else will do it for me. 494 00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:54,461 D-ohh, d-ohh, d-ohh! 495 00:20:54,544 --> 00:20:55,963 Hey, you okay, Grimy? 496 00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:57,422 I'm better than okay. 497 00:20:57,506 --> 00:20:58,548 I'm Homer Simpson. 498 00:20:58,632 --> 00:21:00,425 You wish. 499 00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:01,802 Oh, hi, Mr. Burns. 500 00:21:01,885 --> 00:21:04,221 I'm the worst worker in the world. 501 00:21:04,304 --> 00:21:05,847 Time to go home to my mansion 502 00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:07,557 and eat my lobster. 503 00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:10,435 What's this? 504 00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:12,229 "Extremely high voltage." 505 00:21:12,312 --> 00:21:14,564 Well, I don't need safety gloves 506 00:21:14,648 --> 00:21:16,108 because I'm Homer Simp-- 507 00:21:16,191 --> 00:21:17,317 (zapping) 508 00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:22,406 LOVEJOY: Frank Grimes, 509 00:21:22,489 --> 00:21:25,617 or "Grimy," as he liked to be called, 510 00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:29,788 taught us that a man can triumph over adversity. 511 00:21:29,871 --> 00:21:31,456 And even though Frank's 512 00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:33,292 agonizing struggle through life 513 00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:36,003 was tragically cut short... 514 00:21:36,086 --> 00:21:37,713 I'm sure he's... 515 00:21:37,796 --> 00:21:41,633 (snoring) 516 00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:43,760 Change the channel, Marge. 517 00:21:43,844 --> 00:21:45,846 (laughing) 518 00:21:45,929 --> 00:21:46,888 That's our Homer! 519 00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:48,473 (laughing) 520 00:22:39,524 --> 00:22:40,442 Shhh!! 521 00:22:43,612 --> 00:22:46,865 CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.