1 00:00:03,879 --> 00:00:07,006 The Simpsons 2 00:00:10,219 --> 00:00:11,302 D'oh! 3 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:18,017 What the... 4 00:00:30,948 --> 00:00:33,783 Honey, I've got some bad news for you. 5 00:00:33,951 --> 00:00:36,994 Not now, Marge. I'm waiting for the new XFL season! 6 00:00:37,079 --> 00:00:39,872 Who will win this year's million-dollar game? 7 00:00:39,957 --> 00:00:41,374 Who? Who? 8 00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:42,458 Honey. 9 00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:44,335 The "X" is for "Extreme." 10 00:00:44,420 --> 00:00:47,380 There is no XFL this year. 11 00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:48,673 The league folded. 12 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,009 Who told you? 13 00:00:52,094 --> 00:00:53,594 Last year's MVP. 14 00:00:53,846 --> 00:00:56,597 He sweeps up toenails at the beauty parlor. 15 00:00:58,350 --> 00:00:59,851 Hello? Hello. 16 00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:02,729 This is the Springfield Retirement Castle. 17 00:01:02,813 --> 00:01:03,813 Your parent... 18 00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,440 Abraham Simpson. 19 00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:07,650 ...is dead. Oh, my God! 20 00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:09,736 He died from... 21 00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:12,113 Complications of a medical nature. 22 00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:15,742 The nursing home was not responsible. 23 00:01:16,452 --> 00:01:19,287 Homer, your father's dead. 24 00:01:21,665 --> 00:01:24,917 And he never even lived to be a vegetable. 25 00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:31,424 I'm really gonna miss him. 26 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,343 It's Grampa's smell. 27 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:40,099 Oh, my dad never even knew how I felt about him. 28 00:01:40,184 --> 00:01:43,102 But you were very open with your feelings. 29 00:01:43,187 --> 00:01:47,815 Sure, I said I loved him, but never that I was in love with him. 30 00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:50,860 What are you crying about? 31 00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:52,779 You don't have to live here. 32 00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:53,863 Dad! 33 00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,323 Grampa! Grampa! 34 00:01:55,407 --> 00:01:58,242 Stop it! You're stretching out my skin. 35 00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:02,622 What's got into you punks? 36 00:02:02,706 --> 00:02:04,665 The home told us you were dead. 37 00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:09,712 Me? I ain't dead. It was Stamson down the hall. 38 00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:12,757 So much for Mr. I Can Button My Own Shirt. 39 00:02:13,926 --> 00:02:15,176 Oh, Dad. 40 00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:19,514 We've got what people never get. A second chance. 41 00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:22,475 Yeah, there's so many things we can... 42 00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:26,395 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll call you or send you some fruit. 43 00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:29,357 Look, Grampa. You're already getting a new neighbor. 44 00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:33,486 Hi. I'm Zelda. I put the "ass" in assisted living. 45 00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:35,321 Holy mac... 46 00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:39,909 Abe Simpson's the name, and now that you're here, 47 00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:44,080 I'm changing my instructions to "do resuscitate." 48 00:02:44,957 --> 00:02:48,125 Now, let me show you around. Over there are the preppies... 49 00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:54,131 And over there's the comatose, and the cool comatose. 50 00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:58,344 Hey, who's the tall drink of Maalox? 51 00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:01,556 Are you young ladies here to visit your mothers? 52 00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:08,062 Eh, that's Zack. He's as smooth as a 50-year-old behind. 53 00:03:08,272 --> 00:03:11,232 Who wants to go get some sweet corn in my minivan? 54 00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:13,484 It's got a wheelchair lift. 55 00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:18,698 If you can drive, they're all over you. 56 00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:22,076 I used to drive, but they pulled my license. 57 00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:31,878 Is this the Dairy Queen? 58 00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:41,429 But Zelda, if you're looking for something with a big backseat 59 00:03:41,513 --> 00:03:45,141 and a lot of gas, I'm your man. 60 00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:46,684 Oh! 61 00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:48,769 You've never heard Garrison Keillor 62 00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:51,522 till you've heard him through five speakers. 63 00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:53,691 Tramp. 64 00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:55,818 B-6. 65 00:03:56,695 --> 00:03:58,446 You sunk my Scrabbleship. 66 00:03:58,530 --> 00:04:00,239 This game makes no sense. 67 00:04:00,324 --> 00:04:03,284 Tell that to the good men who just lost their lives. 68 00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:04,702 Semper Fi. 69 00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:06,913 I want to drive again! 70 00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:09,665 You? No way! It's too dangerous. 71 00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:13,836 Well, you're no angel behind the wheel. What about your DUI? 72 00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:16,464 That was a DWI! 73 00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:18,007 Give Grampa a chance. 74 00:04:18,342 --> 00:04:19,926 Statistics show that old people drive 75 00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:21,886 at least as well as sleep-deprived apes. 76 00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:26,849 Please, Son. Driving is my last chance to feel alive. 77 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:30,853 Well, you brought me into this world, so no! 78 00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:33,689 Fine. I'm dead. 79 00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:36,692 Dad, get up. 80 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:37,944 No, I'm dead. 81 00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:39,487 Grampa, come on. 82 00:04:39,571 --> 00:04:40,613 Dead! 83 00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:44,033 Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead! 84 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:48,329 All right, Grampa. I'll help you get your license back. 85 00:04:48,664 --> 00:04:50,957 Woo-hoo! And I want driving gloves. 86 00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:52,041 No way! 87 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:55,294 Dead, dead, dead, dead! 88 00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:03,719 First of all, I'd like to ask if anyone has any questions. 89 00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,221 Yeah. Where's the men's room? 90 00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,014 It's down the hall. 91 00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:12,311 Okay. Now, let's pretend that we're going for a drive. 92 00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:18,234 Leo, slow down. That looks like a nice place to eat. 93 00:05:18,694 --> 00:05:20,528 Carla's daughter works in that building. 94 00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,154 You know, it's kind of ironic. 95 00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:24,115 These old people are being kept alive 96 00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:26,534 by the organs of the young people they ran over. 97 00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:28,077 Makes you think, huh, Chief? 98 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,203 Not really. 99 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,205 Next! 100 00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:33,541 Grampa's here to get his driver's license. 101 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:36,752 Okay. Look at the eye chart and cover your left eye. 102 00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:41,465 That's my seeing eye. The right one's my winking eye. 103 00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:46,429 I'll give you your license if you never do that again. 104 00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:49,432 Oh, everything's the last time I do everything. 105 00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:52,768 Can't you just use this recent photo? 106 00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:56,814 Mmm. (GRUNTS) All right. 107 00:05:58,525 --> 00:05:59,608 Here you go. 108 00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:00,776 Woo-hoo! 109 00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:03,988 Who's laughing now? 110 00:06:06,158 --> 00:06:07,158 Shut up! 111 00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:17,001 What's the scoop, milkshakes? 112 00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:20,713 I got me a date with Zelda, so I need the car. 113 00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:24,633 Oh, no. I'm not giving you my car. You'd probably drive it. 114 00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:29,722 You don't trust your old man? You ungrateful milkshake. 115 00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:31,265 Why don't we double-date? 116 00:06:31,349 --> 00:06:34,268 Then the restaurant will have to give us that booth. 117 00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:38,439 Wow, a booth. If I'm tired, I can just lie down. 118 00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:46,739 Cut it out! I can work the brake myself. 119 00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:48,491 No, you can't. 120 00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:51,702 You're slow to react, Dad. 121 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:54,413 Baloney! 122 00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:57,917 This is the best party of my life. 123 00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:00,669 Bro, you tapped the septic tank. 124 00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:04,173 Dude sure got his comeuppance. 125 00:07:05,509 --> 00:07:07,551 In real life, he would die. 126 00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:11,597 Oh, Abe. Oh, Zelda. 127 00:07:11,723 --> 00:07:14,225 Hey, watch the movie. 128 00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:17,478 Movies were better in our day. 129 00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:20,689 For a nickel you got two movies, a cartoon, 130 00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,983 a bag of popcorn and a whipping. 131 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,027 Kept your mind on your business. 132 00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:28,072 Hop in, beautiful. 133 00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:34,912 'Cause every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man 134 00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:42,795 Now, there's a few things I want to say to you, Zelda. 135 00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:45,297 Save your breath. Seriously. 136 00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:49,051 Well, I gotta do something before the Viagra kicks in. 137 00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:51,679 I know. I'll suck my teeth. 138 00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:56,016 Whoa! Here we go. 139 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,319 Give me those keys! 140 00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:09,446 Do you have any idea what you put us through? 141 00:08:09,531 --> 00:08:13,367 I called the police, the hospital, my bookie, the kennel... 142 00:08:13,577 --> 00:08:15,703 Okay, this isn't about who I called. 143 00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:17,913 See you later. I'm going to the library. 144 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:21,876 Lisa gets to do what she wants and you don't yell at her. 145 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,253 Hey, I've earned their trust. 146 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:30,801 Oh! Everybody trusts Lisa. Precious little Lisa. Apple of her daddy's eye. 147 00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:35,014 Lisa doesn't borrow my car and stay out all night with some hoochie. 148 00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:37,725 She's no hoochie. 149 00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:40,269 Her name is Zelda and she understands me. 150 00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:43,772 Grampa, I gotta tell you, she's a stone-cold hoochie. 151 00:08:43,899 --> 00:08:47,193 Straight up, Marge. That hoochie only likes you because you can drive. 152 00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:50,404 Shut up! You don't know her! Zelda loves me! 153 00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:52,907 I hate this house! 154 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:03,459 Turn that down! You call that music? 155 00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:06,712 I just don't know what to do. 156 00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:08,797 He used to be such an angel. 157 00:09:09,132 --> 00:09:11,133 Maybe you should give him another chance. 158 00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:14,845 No. He's gotta learn, Marge. The way my dad made me learn. 159 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:16,597 He is your dad. 160 00:09:17,849 --> 00:09:18,891 Cosmic. 161 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:24,063 Hey, Abe, what are you doing here? 162 00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:26,482 We heard you lost your driving privileges. 163 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:30,319 Well, for your information, I can still drive to the store, 164 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:33,572 but I have to be back in five minutes with these things for the baby. 165 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:38,911 Oh, Gentlemen, the new scratch-and-win tickets are out today. 166 00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:40,913 I'll take one, Achu. 167 00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:42,831 No, not "chu," "pu." 168 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:44,792 I got troubles with both. 169 00:09:47,045 --> 00:09:49,421 Finally the shakes are working for me. 170 00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:50,923 Pardon me, sir. 171 00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:55,094 Your scrapings have landed on my jacket from Planet Hollywood, Orlando. 172 00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:56,387 So, what if it did? 173 00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:58,514 So, it is very thoughtless. 174 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:02,309 I should cut you like I cut sodium out of my diet. 175 00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:07,064 You don't scare me with your dignity and your subtle cologne. 176 00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:09,775 Then perhaps you should be taught a lesson by us, 177 00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:12,361 Los Souvenir Jacquitos! 178 00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:15,155 Bring it on. 179 00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:19,702 Please, gentlemen. Violence is not the answer. 180 00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:21,120 Then what is? 181 00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:22,538 Some sort of death race? 182 00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:23,664 That's what I would do. 183 00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:25,457 Very well, Viejo. 184 00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,918 You shall have your death race. 185 00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:30,838 Death race? 186 00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:33,966 And another thing. No death races. 187 00:10:34,926 --> 00:10:36,510 Oh, I better not. 188 00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:43,851 Fine! I'll meet you at the abandoned aqueduct. 189 00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:45,352 For the death race? 190 00:10:45,437 --> 00:10:46,603 Yes, the death race. 191 00:10:48,523 --> 00:10:51,400 All right, seniors and señores, 192 00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:55,779 whichever car makes it through that tunnel first is the winner. 193 00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:58,157 But it's only big enough for one car. 194 00:10:58,241 --> 00:11:00,159 What are you scared of, old man? 195 00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:04,705 Everything. Dogs, Dutchmen, the gathering darkness. 196 00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:07,958 All right. When I yank down my girlfriend's tube top, 197 00:11:08,043 --> 00:11:09,793 the race will begin. 198 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,756 What? I'm just trying to bring you into my world. 199 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,090 Just go. 200 00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:39,573 Old friend, your jacket, she burns. 201 00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:41,116 Then I burn with her, 202 00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:44,036 for I would rather die than have people not know 203 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,829 what stores I have been to. 204 00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:48,791 Whoo-hoo! 205 00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:52,211 We're the baddest punks in our age bracket! 206 00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:11,397 My beard. I broke my beard. 207 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:15,651 Oh, my God! We can't let Homer know. 208 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:27,496 Oh! That is it! Abraham J. Simpson, 209 00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:32,292 you are never driving again! Ever! 210 00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:38,882 I can't believe I cracked up my only set of wheels. 211 00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:42,803 Go home! 212 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:49,143 Put on a smile, high-pants. I've got a surprise for you. 213 00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:52,020 I've booked us a room for the weekend in Branson, Missouri. 214 00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,897 The Gritz Carlton Hotel. 215 00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:57,109 Oh! That's great, but there's a slight hitch. 216 00:12:57,193 --> 00:13:00,571 You see, I'm temporarily between cars. 217 00:13:02,323 --> 00:13:05,909 But we don't need anything to have fun but ourselves. 218 00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:11,206 Give me that old time fun Give me that old time fun 219 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:15,294 Give me that old time fun 220 00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:17,880 The kind where we stay home 221 00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:20,632 Zelda, may I offer you a lift? 222 00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:24,511 No! 223 00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:28,390 Don't feel bad, Abe. 224 00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:31,768 I'll always think of you as my friend without a car. 225 00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:37,024 Don't go, Zelda! I love you! 226 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:42,321 Zelda, I'm gonna make you forget about your grandchildren. 227 00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:47,326 Oh, what'll I do? 228 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,415 Hey, Grampa. Stealing Mom's car? 229 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,667 Yeah, it's the only way to win back Zelda. 230 00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:58,670 And if I go to prison, I'll get better food and more hugs. 231 00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:02,007 Uh, it's actually blue wire to yellow wire. 232 00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:03,258 It is? 233 00:14:05,303 --> 00:14:07,429 Hot diggety Dodge! 234 00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:10,724 Next stop, Branson, Missouri! 235 00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:11,850 Can I tag along? 236 00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:13,769 Sure, why not? School ain't helping you. 237 00:14:14,938 --> 00:14:17,147 Born to be wild 238 00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:22,402 Oh, I hate this hippie crap. 239 00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:26,198 And now, WOMB, warm and safe radio, 240 00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:30,035 takes you back to the golden age of radio theater. 241 00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:32,496 It's The Itchy and Scratchy Hour, 242 00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:34,915 presented by Hansen's Moustache Wax, 243 00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:38,085 the moustache wax Hitler doesn't use. 244 00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:41,880 They Fight, and Bite They Fight and Fight and Bite 245 00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:46,385 Fight, fight, fight, bite, bite, bite The Itchy and Scratchy Show 246 00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:48,220 As we join tonight's adventure, 247 00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:51,473 we find Itchy at the counter of his butcher shop. 248 00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:54,685 Hiya, Scratchy. 249 00:14:57,814 --> 00:14:59,731 You're crushing my head! 250 00:15:02,944 --> 00:15:06,405 During the war, Eleanor Roosevelt was the voice of Scratchy. 251 00:15:06,489 --> 00:15:07,948 The lady knows funny. 252 00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:12,703 First he wrecks your car, then he steals mine. 253 00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:14,788 Your father's out of control. 254 00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:18,584 Oh, sure, when he does something bad, he's my father. 255 00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:20,002 He must've dropped this. 256 00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,381 We've gotta go after them! 257 00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:25,549 But how? 258 00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:29,261 Branson is a thousand miles away, and we've got no car. 259 00:15:32,015 --> 00:15:33,307 Oh! That was lucky. 260 00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:34,474 Come on, boys. 261 00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:39,938 Uh, we'll wait for the next one. 262 00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:43,775 What are those, Grampa? 263 00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:45,694 These are hobo signs. 264 00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:49,364 They're to tell other hobos if a place is friendly or not. 265 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:53,327 That one means good vittles. Sexy daughter. 266 00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:56,121 Mass hobo grave in cellar. 267 00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:08,258 Here we are. Branson, Missouri. 268 00:16:08,343 --> 00:16:10,969 No, pally. This is Bronson, Missouri. 269 00:16:11,179 --> 00:16:12,971 Mmm. Hey. 270 00:16:14,015 --> 00:16:15,641 Well, how do we get to Branson? 271 00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:17,100 Number 10 bus. 272 00:16:17,393 --> 00:16:19,853 Hey, Ma, how about some cookies? 273 00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:20,979 No dice. 274 00:16:21,064 --> 00:16:22,230 This ain't over. 275 00:16:23,274 --> 00:16:25,150 There it is! 276 00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:28,028 That's the glitziest "Welcome To" sign ever! 277 00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:31,907 Whoa! 278 00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:39,623 Okay, keep an eye peeled for Zelda. 279 00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:40,916 Is that her? No. 280 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,167 Is that her? No. 281 00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:43,460 Is that her? No. 282 00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:45,337 Is that her? No! 283 00:16:45,421 --> 00:16:46,505 Wait. It was the second one. 284 00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:49,591 Zelda, baby, it's me! 285 00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:52,302 Two seniors, please. 286 00:16:52,387 --> 00:16:56,765 Oh, no! He's taking her to the hottest matinee in town. 287 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,935 Come on, boy. After them! 288 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:13,573 Remember the stars you loved yesterday 289 00:17:13,908 --> 00:17:16,952 Where did they go? Did they all pass away? 290 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:20,706 Was it drugs or a car crash Or facelift gone wrong? 291 00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:22,958 No, they're right here in Branson 292 00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:30,006 And singing this song 293 00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:33,885 My name is Charo I shake my maracas 294 00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:41,059 Remember me, fool? I was B. A. Baracus 295 00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:48,400 We're the performers You thought were dead 296 00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:52,154 Like Bonnie Franklin and Adrian Zmed 297 00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:55,532 Branson's the place We can always be found 298 00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:59,578 They took Nick at Nite And made it a town 299 00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:06,626 You can call me Ray Or you can call me Jay 300 00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:10,172 Just don't call me washed up I do three shows a day 301 00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:15,552 Charlie Callas doesn't sleep in the ground 302 00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:19,389 Yes, I'm still alive And I'm making my sounds 303 00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:28,732 So sit back, relax And watch our revue 304 00:18:29,025 --> 00:18:31,359 In Soviet Union 305 00:18:31,903 --> 00:18:36,364 Revue watches you 306 00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:42,204 Tennessee Ernie Ford? Now, I know you're dead. 307 00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:44,664 No. You just think I'm dead. 308 00:18:45,082 --> 00:18:47,751 No, you're dead. I was your biggest fan. 309 00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:49,586 Look, I clipped your obituary. 310 00:18:57,887 --> 00:19:00,263 Let's take a quick gambling break. 311 00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:03,141 A little action will really sharpen our senses. 312 00:19:03,226 --> 00:19:05,185 Mom, there's no gambling in Branson. 313 00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:07,854 It was designed as a family destination. 314 00:19:07,939 --> 00:19:09,981 Oh, no, there's gambling. 315 00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,149 We just have to find it! 316 00:19:11,234 --> 00:19:12,984 Look, Mom, it's your car. 317 00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:15,320 Grampa and Bart must be in that theater. 318 00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:17,656 Bet you they're not. Three to one. How much you got? 319 00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:19,533 Mom, you're hurting me. 320 00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:22,661 Grampa, look over there. 321 00:19:22,745 --> 00:19:25,038 It's Captain Bringdown and The Buzzkillers. 322 00:19:25,122 --> 00:19:27,457 If you're gonna make your move, you better do it quick. 323 00:19:27,542 --> 00:19:28,583 Mmm... 324 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,171 Wait! Stop the music! 325 00:19:34,465 --> 00:19:35,799 A-ha! Oh! 326 00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:38,093 It's Grampa! Munster? 327 00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:39,344 No, Simpson. 328 00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:42,097 Oh, darn, darn, darn! 329 00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:47,561 I've driven hundreds of miles to say something very special 330 00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:50,230 to someone in this audience tonight. 331 00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:51,690 Aw! 332 00:19:51,774 --> 00:19:52,774 Huh? 333 00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:55,527 Zelda, will you come up here? 334 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,241 Drive me, Abe. Drive me. 335 00:20:01,325 --> 00:20:04,452 I just want to say we're through! 336 00:20:04,954 --> 00:20:08,623 Nobody dumps Abe Simpson. You're nothing but a hoochie. 337 00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:10,876 Hoochie, hoochie, hoochie! 338 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,253 (CHANTING) Hoochie, hoochie, hoochie! 339 00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:14,921 Hoochie, hoochie, hoochie! 340 00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:20,260 Now I'd like my son to come up here. 341 00:20:22,972 --> 00:20:25,682 Son, can you forgive an old fool? 342 00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:27,350 Only in public. 343 00:20:27,602 --> 00:20:28,602 Oh! 344 00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:29,895 Aw! 345 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,064 Now, let's go home. 346 00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:40,488 In Russia, stage is for performers only. 347 00:21:13,314 --> 00:21:14,272 Hey! 348 00:21:29,372 --> 00:21:32,248 (IN SOUTHERN ACCENT) This has been a Gracie Films presentation! 349 00:21:38,172 --> 00:21:39,172 English - US - PSDH