1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,919 (theme music playing) 2 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:06,548 CHORUS: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 3 00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:18,852 (bell ringing) 4 00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,108 (whistle blowing) 5 00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:30,864 (beeping) 6 00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:40,874 (playing the blues) 7 00:00:58,850 --> 00:00:59,893 (honking horn) 8 00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:06,066 D'oh! (screams) 9 00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:07,192 (brakes screeching) 10 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:09,986 (moaning) 11 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,905 (evil laughter) 12 00:01:24,125 --> 00:01:25,585 {\an8}These Swedish furniture designers 13 00:01:25,668 --> 00:01:27,754 {\an8}sure have some far-out ideas. 14 00:01:27,837 --> 00:01:29,756 {\an8}I mean, a green table? 15 00:01:29,839 --> 00:01:32,717 {\an8}I wouldn't have thought of that in my wildest dreams. 16 00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:35,512 {\an8}And these bean bag chairs look so comfortable. 17 00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:37,138 {\an8}(sighing) Oops! 18 00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:38,807 {\an8}Hey, there's someone else in here. 19 00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:40,975 {\an8}SEA CAPTAIN: Argh, she swallowed me whole. 20 00:01:41,684 --> 00:01:43,061 {\an8}You put it together yourself. 21 00:01:43,144 --> 00:01:44,938 {\an8}All you need is me, Allen Wrench. 22 00:01:45,021 --> 00:01:45,980 {\an8}(laughing) 23 00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:47,857 {\an8}He's named after what he is. 24 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:48,900 {\an8}(clanging) 25 00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:50,443 {\an8}Cool costume. 26 00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:52,403 {\an8}(in mechanical voice) It's not a costume. 27 00:01:52,487 --> 00:01:55,782 {\an8}They found me inside a meteor. 28 00:01:55,865 --> 00:01:57,700 {\an8}Excuse me, where are your hamper lids? 29 00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:59,786 {\an8}(in normal voice) Hamper lids? Uh, third floor. 30 00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:02,580 {\an8}(in mechanical voice) Help! I need tungsten to live. 31 00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:04,457 {\an8}Tungsten! 32 00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:05,875 {\an8}Whoa... 33 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:08,962 {\an8}Ooh, look at all these clever pencil holders. 34 00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:12,090 {\an8}Ooh! I want to get the Kronk. 35 00:02:12,173 --> 00:02:16,052 {\an8}Mmm. You don't want something that overshadows the pencils. 36 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:17,887 {\an8}How about this... Popli? 37 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:19,389 {\an8}Mom, no! 38 00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:21,474 {\an8}Everyone at school picks on the Popli kids, 39 00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:22,934 {\an8}even I do! 40 00:02:23,017 --> 00:02:24,894 {\an8}I just hate them so much. 41 00:02:26,187 --> 00:02:28,773 {\an8}Yes, I will have the polpenlugen 42 00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:30,775 {\an8}and don't skimp on the doodlemunch. 43 00:02:31,776 --> 00:02:33,027 {\an8}How ingenious! 44 00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:34,988 {\an8}The forks are made out of Lego. 45 00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:38,950 Hmm! 46 00:02:40,618 --> 00:02:41,703 Hello, Simpsons! 47 00:02:41,786 --> 00:02:43,413 Hey, Apu, Manjula. 48 00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:44,747 You guys are still married? 49 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,249 Oh, yes, sir, quite happily. 50 00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:47,333 {\an8}Pay up, Marge. 51 00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:49,085 {\an8}Say, what you got there? 52 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,545 {\an8}I don't know, exactly. 53 00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:53,506 {\an8}It's from the room of lamps that do not look like lamps. 54 00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:56,384 {\an8}(electrical surging) 55 00:02:56,467 --> 00:02:57,677 {\an8}(cooing) 56 00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,930 {\an8}Oh, little Maggie, aren't you cute 57 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,265 {\an8}with your little bow? 58 00:03:02,348 --> 00:03:05,185 {\an8}(singsong babbling) 59 00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:07,353 {\an8}Maggie loves baby talk. 60 00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:09,898 {\an8}-That was Hindi. -(chuckling) Oh. Sorry. 61 00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:11,691 {\an8}So, have you two thought about kids? 62 00:03:11,774 --> 00:03:13,568 {\an8}Well, sure we have, but the decision 63 00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:15,862 {\an8}to have a child is not to be made lightly. 64 00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:17,071 {\an8}(blowing raspberries) 65 00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:18,531 {\an8}(giggling) 66 00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:21,159 {\an8}On the other hand, monkey see, monkey do. 67 00:03:21,242 --> 00:03:23,494 {\an8}(chuckling) Kids are the best, Apu. 68 00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:25,705 {\an8}You can teach them to hate the things you hate. 69 00:03:25,788 --> 00:03:27,248 {\an8}And they practically raise themselves 70 00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:28,666 {\an8}what with the Internet and all. 71 00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:30,460 {\an8}Well, perhaps it is time. 72 00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:33,796 {\an8}I've noticed this country is dangerously underpopulated. 73 00:03:35,506 --> 00:03:37,467 Are you sure you want a child, Apu? 74 00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:38,968 You know I do. 75 00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,720 I mean, there comes a time in a man's life 76 00:03:40,803 --> 00:03:42,222 when he asks himself, 77 00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:44,474 "Who will float my corpse down the Ganges?" 78 00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:46,851 Oh, Apu, take me now. 79 00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:49,604 APU: Oh, Calcutta! 80 00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:54,609 Hey, Apu, sitting in the ice cream cooler, eh? 81 00:03:54,692 --> 00:03:57,070 By chilling my loins, I increase the chances 82 00:03:57,153 --> 00:03:58,571 of impregnating my wife. 83 00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:01,157 Whoa-ho, too much information. 84 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,117 Thanks for the mental picture. 85 00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:05,370 Why don't you tell us what you really think? 86 00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:07,580 Would you stop spouting those hackneyed quips? 87 00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:10,250 Could you be any more... 88 00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:11,376 Hello? 89 00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:14,003 (laughing) 90 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,421 Look, just give me some ice cream. 91 00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:20,677 Um. How about one not touching your ass? 92 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:21,928 -(pager beeps) -Oh! 93 00:04:22,011 --> 00:04:23,596 Manjula has begun to ovulate. 94 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:24,639 Ew... 95 00:04:24,722 --> 00:04:26,057 Thanks for sharing... 96 00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:29,644 more than I wanted to know! 97 00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:33,398 Here goes nothing. 98 00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:36,901 BOTH: Baby... 99 00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:37,986 Baby... 100 00:04:38,569 --> 00:04:40,113 Oh... lemon. 101 00:04:40,196 --> 00:04:42,448 All that sex for nothing. 102 00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:45,451 {\an8}Well, that is a pretty grim assessment. 103 00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,080 You know, Homer, you might want 104 00:04:49,163 --> 00:04:51,499 to open those cans before they explode. 105 00:04:51,582 --> 00:04:54,002 But the cans seal in the flavor. 106 00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:55,378 OK. 107 00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:58,423 So, how's the tribe coming along? 108 00:04:58,506 --> 00:04:59,465 Any papooses? 109 00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:01,217 No. Still no luck. 110 00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:04,679 Tell me, Homer, did you have to take any... 111 00:05:04,762 --> 00:05:07,348 special steps when you decided to have children? 112 00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:08,599 "Decided"? 113 00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:10,518 (laughing) 114 00:05:10,601 --> 00:05:12,895 That's classic! "Decided." 115 00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:14,647 Babies just happen. 116 00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:16,816 Well, not to us, they don't. 117 00:05:16,899 --> 00:05:18,776 Oh, Homer, we have tried everything. 118 00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:20,862 Oysters, gravity boots, 119 00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:23,781 Sanjay's bed, every possible position. 120 00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:24,866 Really? 121 00:05:24,949 --> 00:05:26,993 On top and underneath? 122 00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:28,870 Eh... yes. 123 00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:31,039 Well, don't worry, I can help you. 124 00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:33,499 I'm all about ideas. 125 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,376 Kids! Come and get it! 126 00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:39,213 Now, this situation is guaranteed 127 00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:40,840 to end in pregnancy. 128 00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:43,134 I'm willing to play the high school jock, 129 00:05:43,217 --> 00:05:45,511 but did you have to cut the roof off my car? 130 00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:47,889 Hup-hup-hup-hup. That's an Apu question. 131 00:05:47,972 --> 00:05:49,223 You're "Greg." 132 00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:52,518 "Uh, gee, Betsy, it's such a nice night. 133 00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:54,354 -Why don't we go all the way? -(Homer mouthing along) 134 00:05:54,437 --> 00:05:56,773 "But Greg, my dad will kill me. 135 00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:58,441 "And you have that scholarship 136 00:05:58,524 --> 00:05:59,984 to Ivy League State." 137 00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:01,694 "Loosen up, baby. 138 00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:04,030 Tomorrow I'm shipping off to Vietnam." 139 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,075 I thought I was going to Ivy League State. 140 00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:08,701 My mistake. Stay in the moment. 141 00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:10,578 "Just promise not to forget me 142 00:06:10,661 --> 00:06:13,081 on your dinosaur-bone- digging-up trip." 143 00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:14,290 (sighing) 144 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:15,792 (kissing) 145 00:06:16,292 --> 00:06:18,836 And that's my cue to exit. 146 00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:26,177 Homer! 147 00:06:26,719 --> 00:06:28,805 I just wanted to invite you to the wrap party. 148 00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:31,808 And that's my cue to exit. 149 00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:33,267 (Homer humming) 150 00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:37,605 BOTH: Baby... 151 00:06:37,688 --> 00:06:38,773 Baby... 152 00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:40,817 Pirate? 153 00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:42,402 (sighing) 154 00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:43,653 No, no, wait a minute! 155 00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:44,779 Pirates are wild! 156 00:06:44,862 --> 00:06:45,988 We are pregnant! 157 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:49,117 (both laughing) 158 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,910 APU: Oh! Oh, get lost. 159 00:06:53,162 --> 00:06:56,999 {\an8}Man, the last nine months sure were crazy. 160 00:06:57,083 --> 00:07:00,086 {\an8}I'll say. I learned the true meaning of Columbus Day. 161 00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:02,505 I enjoyed a brief but memorable stint 162 00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:04,132 as sideshow Marge. 163 00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:06,467 I became the most popular girl in school 164 00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:08,428 But blew it by being conceited. 165 00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:10,847 And then I learned the true meaning of winter. 166 00:07:13,307 --> 00:07:16,227 Apu, do you still find me attractive? 167 00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:18,354 Of course I do, sweetheart. 168 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:21,607 You are beautiful and silky and manageable. 169 00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:23,860 You're reading that off a conditioner bottle. 170 00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:25,945 I... That's true. 171 00:07:26,028 --> 00:07:27,447 But you still have a... 172 00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:28,739 (water splashing) 173 00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:29,907 Ooh! Oh. 174 00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:31,242 My water broke. 175 00:07:31,325 --> 00:07:32,827 Oh, we must drive to the hospital. 176 00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:35,955 Cleanup in aisle three. 177 00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:38,207 Oh, finally. 178 00:07:39,083 --> 00:07:42,086 Gil's moving up to the big leagues, boy. 179 00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:43,129 Aah! 180 00:07:43,212 --> 00:07:44,672 Aw, my back... 181 00:07:47,049 --> 00:07:49,427 (all snoring) 182 00:07:49,510 --> 00:07:50,887 Apu, come quick! 183 00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:52,638 You're missing the miracle! 184 00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:53,764 Oh? 185 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:57,268 Oh, my sweet husband, 186 00:07:58,102 --> 00:08:00,605 {\an8}say hello to your firstborn child. 187 00:08:00,688 --> 00:08:04,233 {\an8}Oh. You shall be the jewel of our lives. 188 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,903 Aw... Now, say hello to your other seven children. 189 00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:08,946 My... what? 190 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:11,199 (laughing) We had quite a discussion 191 00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:13,451 about the funniest way to reveal them to you. 192 00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:15,328 You have octuplets. 193 00:08:15,411 --> 00:08:19,999 It rolls off your tongue and into your heart, "octuplets." 194 00:08:20,082 --> 00:08:21,375 {\an8}(laughing) 195 00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:23,711 {\an8}Apu, you should have seen your face 196 00:08:23,794 --> 00:08:27,006 when they showed you those babies. (laughing) 197 00:08:27,089 --> 00:08:29,926 Yeah. It looked just like that. 198 00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:37,350 Apu, say hello to Poonam, Sashi 199 00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:40,228 Pria, Uma, Anoop, Sandeep, Nabendu 200 00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:42,396 and Mama's clear favorite, Gheet. 201 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:43,814 APU: How did we get eight? 202 00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:45,608 Apu, I must confess. 203 00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:47,485 When we were having trouble conceiving, 204 00:08:47,568 --> 00:08:49,654 I took fertility drugs. 205 00:08:49,737 --> 00:08:50,863 {\an8}(moans) 206 00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:52,823 {\an8}I, too, I am afraid, am guilty 207 00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:54,951 {\an8}of monkeying with nature. 208 00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:57,954 {\an8}I slipped fertility drugs into your breakfast squishy. 209 00:08:58,037 --> 00:08:59,497 Mm-hmm... 210 00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:01,874 Well, that would only account for quintuplets. 211 00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:04,418 Did anyone else slip this woman fertility drugs? 212 00:09:06,128 --> 00:09:08,589 Mine tasted like strawberry. 213 00:09:08,673 --> 00:09:10,967 Mmm. Ovulicious. 214 00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:14,887 (shutters clicking) 215 00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:16,347 Would you say you and your babies 216 00:09:16,430 --> 00:09:19,141 have a "love-eight" relationship? 217 00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:20,434 (all chuckling) 218 00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:22,061 (chuckling) Absolutely. Yes. 219 00:09:22,144 --> 00:09:24,230 No. Say it. We need a sound bite. 220 00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:26,941 We have a "love-eight" relationship. 221 00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:28,025 ALL: Aw. 222 00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:29,652 Yes. Kent Brockman, Channel Six. 223 00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:31,362 How would you respond to people who say 224 00:09:31,445 --> 00:09:33,030 this kind of multiple birth 225 00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:37,285 is more suited to, say, a possum than a human being? 226 00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:39,579 Wha-- Who would say such a thing? 227 00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:41,831 Well... Pundits, wags... 228 00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:43,874 I'm not the one on trial here. 229 00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:45,209 No one is on trial. 230 00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:47,003 This is a joyous occasion for all, 231 00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:49,213 and the outpouring of support has been so lucrative. 232 00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:51,090 Yes. We have already received 233 00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:54,176 lifetime supplies of baby powder and Pepsi-B. 234 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:56,512 Free baby cola? 235 00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,055 Apu hits the jackpot 236 00:09:58,139 --> 00:10:00,850 and I'm stuck with these useless one-tuplets. 237 00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:03,311 Gee, sorry for being born. 238 00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:06,022 I've been waiting so long to hear that. 239 00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:12,486 (forklift beeping) 240 00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:16,657 How do you feel about this avalanche of free merchandise? 241 00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:19,160 Oh, the companies are so generous. 242 00:10:19,243 --> 00:10:20,995 Except the Q-tip people. 243 00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:23,164 They only gave us three crates. 244 00:10:23,247 --> 00:10:24,540 They can rot in hell. 245 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,125 But the good folks at Sony... 246 00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:27,209 (loud kiss) 247 00:10:27,835 --> 00:10:30,963 Their giant TV will really help us love our babies. 248 00:10:31,922 --> 00:10:33,591 {\an8}I'm here at Shelbyville Hospital 249 00:10:33,674 --> 00:10:35,426 {\an8}where a local woman has just given birth 250 00:10:35,509 --> 00:10:37,887 {\an8}to nine, that's right, nine babies. 251 00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:39,096 (both gasp) 252 00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:40,973 Some say eight babies is a blessing, 253 00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:43,267 but they don't know the joy of nine. 254 00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:45,770 Would you say you're on cloud nine? 255 00:10:45,853 --> 00:10:47,897 BOTH: We're on cloud nine! 256 00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:49,023 ALL: Aw. 257 00:10:49,523 --> 00:10:51,359 Oh. They even have a better sound bite than us. 258 00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:54,487 Nine babies? That's barbaric! 259 00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:58,157 Nonuplets? Now, that's something you don't see every day. 260 00:10:58,240 --> 00:10:59,909 {\an8}Let's get this stuff to the real heroes, 261 00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:01,744 {\an8}the Shelbyville Nine! 262 00:11:05,122 --> 00:11:06,123 Oh. 263 00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:09,377 Wait! That's our ottoman! 264 00:11:12,421 --> 00:11:13,381 (sighs) 265 00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:15,299 Don't worry, my little curry-face. 266 00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:17,635 We don't need corporate handouts. 267 00:11:17,718 --> 00:11:20,054 Our children will live on love. 268 00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:22,348 (babies crying) 269 00:11:22,431 --> 00:11:23,683 (groaning) 270 00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:25,726 (crying) 271 00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:28,396 (singing to the tune of "Rock-A-Bye Baby" in Hindi) 272 00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:30,856 (crying continues) 273 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,192 (snoring) 274 00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:35,152 Apu! It's 4:00 a.m. 275 00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:36,570 You are late for work. 276 00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:40,491 Oh. I just had the most beautiful dream where I died. 277 00:11:40,574 --> 00:11:43,577 Oh, no, you don't, not till they're out of college. 278 00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:45,121 Listen, I'll die when I want to. 279 00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:48,916 (wheels squeaking) 280 00:11:48,999 --> 00:11:51,335 Thank you. Steal again. 281 00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:52,586 (door sensor rings) 282 00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,213 Well, morning, Apu. 283 00:11:54,296 --> 00:11:55,923 How are the little blessings? 284 00:11:56,006 --> 00:11:58,426 Ooh, they're a ravenous swarm of locusts, 285 00:11:58,509 --> 00:12:00,970 just eating and screaming and grabbing and poking 286 00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:02,471 and pulling and drooling 287 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:03,889 and two have cradle rash. 288 00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,057 How do you get cradle rash 289 00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:06,684 when you sleep in a suitcase? 290 00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:07,727 (chuckling) 291 00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,186 They can be a handful... 292 00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:10,980 -of joy. -Shut up! 293 00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:12,606 They'll fill your lives with... 294 00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:13,899 Just shut up! 295 00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:15,192 Can't put a price on a miracle. 296 00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:16,736 I can't believe you don't shut up. 297 00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:18,571 -(clicking) -HOMER: Oh, look at that. 298 00:12:18,654 --> 00:12:20,823 Ooh, a gingerbread house. 299 00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:23,200 Hansel and Gretel are set for life. 300 00:12:23,284 --> 00:12:25,703 You know, I saw Apu today. 301 00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:27,580 He's really frazzled. 302 00:12:27,663 --> 00:12:31,000 {\an8}Boy, that Hansel sure can eat. 303 00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:32,710 {\an8}Ah! My corneas! 304 00:12:32,793 --> 00:12:33,753 You were saying? 305 00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:37,423 Apu told me all eight babies have colic. 306 00:12:37,506 --> 00:12:38,966 Although, he thinks one or two 307 00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:41,343 might just be going along with the crowd. 308 00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:43,721 Eight kids. Hmm. 309 00:12:43,804 --> 00:12:45,514 I'm sterile, right, baby doll? 310 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:48,476 Yes, dear, from the nuclear plant. 311 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:49,935 Beautiful. 312 00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:52,062 (doorbell ringing) 313 00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:54,148 Knock, knock. 314 00:12:54,982 --> 00:12:56,400 Hmm. 315 00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:57,485 Apu? 316 00:12:58,319 --> 00:12:59,361 Manjula? 317 00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:02,615 Marge, I've got a bad feeling about this. 318 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:05,701 (both gasp) 319 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,745 Welcome to my nightmare. 320 00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:10,206 I know you had your hands full with the babies 321 00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:12,792 So I baked you some banana bread. 322 00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:15,085 Oh, hallelujah, our problems are solved. 323 00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:16,504 We have banana bread. 324 00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:18,881 Well, you don't have to be sarcastic. 325 00:13:19,757 --> 00:13:22,760 Oh, look, who's here. The family with one baby. 326 00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:25,012 How do you manage? 327 00:13:25,095 --> 00:13:28,057 Marge, they've turned into jerks. 328 00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:29,850 I'm very sorry. We've been rude. 329 00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:32,019 Can I offer you something to drink? 330 00:13:32,603 --> 00:13:33,604 -No, thanks. -No, thanks. 331 00:13:33,687 --> 00:13:36,023 Apu, they're doing it again. 332 00:13:36,106 --> 00:13:38,818 -OK, break it up. -(babies cooing) 333 00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:40,820 Maybe you two should get a nanny. 334 00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:43,322 Yes, and what would I pay her with? Banana bread? 335 00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:46,075 Sorry, sorry. It's just we haven't slept in days 336 00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:47,910 and we're running out of money and... 337 00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:48,953 Banana bread? 338 00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:50,454 What the hell were you thinking? 339 00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:51,539 Banana bread. 340 00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:53,541 I apologize, apologize again. 341 00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:54,750 As a token of forgiveness, 342 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,210 -please take this baby. -Mmm. 343 00:13:56,293 --> 00:13:57,586 No! Marge, no! 344 00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:58,754 (doorbell ringing) 345 00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:03,300 Mr. Nahasa... Pasa... 346 00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:04,468 Aw, forget it. 347 00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:06,846 Listen, you look like you could use some help. 348 00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:08,556 -Come with me. -OK. 349 00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:10,140 But you don't know who he is. 350 00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:11,851 Who cares? There's only one of him. 351 00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:15,521 What if your babies could live in a place 352 00:14:15,604 --> 00:14:17,982 with round-the-clock child care, 353 00:14:18,065 --> 00:14:20,734 all expenses paid, full medical, 354 00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:22,653 dental, tutors, the works? 355 00:14:22,736 --> 00:14:24,238 I would say that there must be 356 00:14:24,321 --> 00:14:26,031 some sort of horrible catch. 357 00:14:29,451 --> 00:14:30,452 The zoo? 358 00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:32,621 What? Everybody loves my zoo. 359 00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:33,956 You don't love my zoo? 360 00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:35,875 I dare you to look at a kangaroo 361 00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:37,084 and not laugh. 362 00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:38,168 I dare you. 363 00:14:40,629 --> 00:14:42,464 Well, they're usually funnier. 364 00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:47,303 Look, I'm not going to put my babies in a zoo. 365 00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:49,430 Don't say no till you see the habitat. 366 00:14:49,513 --> 00:14:50,431 The habitat? 367 00:14:50,514 --> 00:14:51,599 I mean, the nursery. 368 00:14:52,516 --> 00:14:54,059 Oh, my goodness. 369 00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:59,857 Not too shabby, eh? They'll have the best of care. 370 00:14:59,940 --> 00:15:02,484 And all I ask is that you let the local folks 371 00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,820 share a little glimpse of your blessing. 372 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:07,948 {\an8}But is it right to put such young children on display? 373 00:15:08,032 --> 00:15:09,408 {\an8}-MAN: Sure, it is. -Uh? 374 00:15:09,491 --> 00:15:10,993 Butch Patrick? 375 00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:12,161 That's right. 376 00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:13,495 I was TV's Eddie Munster. 377 00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:16,123 And being in the public eye didn't mess me up one bit. 378 00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:17,791 Mm-hmm. 379 00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:19,126 Well, obviously. 380 00:15:19,209 --> 00:15:20,669 Hey, one question, Eddie. 381 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,296 -Butch. -Eh, right, right. 382 00:15:22,379 --> 00:15:24,214 If your mother was a vampire 383 00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:26,008 and your father was a Frankenstein, 384 00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:27,384 how come you are a werewolf? 385 00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:29,553 Huh. I never thought of that. 386 00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:31,180 {\an8}Doesn't make sense, does it? 387 00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:33,057 {\an8}But what does make sense is putting your children 388 00:15:33,140 --> 00:15:34,683 in the hands of Mr. Kidkill here. 389 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,478 Please, please... Larry. Larry Kidkill. 390 00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:42,441 I don't care what Butch Patrick says. 391 00:15:42,524 --> 00:15:44,568 It just doesn't seem right. 392 00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:46,487 We wouldn't be giving the babies away. 393 00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:47,947 We'd be moving in with them. 394 00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:50,449 They'll have a traditional "zoo-ish" upbringing. 395 00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:54,161 Mmm. Mmm. 396 00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:57,331 Well, maybe we could try it. 397 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,418 -MANJULA: Whoa! -Hey, what the... 398 00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:04,254 Hey, I'm a notary. So, I got that going, too. 399 00:16:09,176 --> 00:16:11,387 (Apu babbling) 400 00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:14,181 (cooing) 401 00:16:14,556 --> 00:16:17,142 {\an8}Oh... you like that, don't you, Poonam? 402 00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:19,353 {\an8}Yeah, who's a clean baby, huh? 403 00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:20,437 {\an8}(cooing) 404 00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:23,315 Ah, now, this is a happy family. 405 00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:24,775 You liking this thing? 406 00:16:24,858 --> 00:16:26,318 How's this humidity, good? 407 00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:27,403 Why am I asking? 408 00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:29,279 I can see on the meter it's good. 409 00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:31,532 Oh, everything is perfect. 410 00:16:31,615 --> 00:16:35,077 {\an8}Yeah, nothing's too good for my little angels. 411 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,162 {\an8}Hup! It's almost showtime. 412 00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:38,288 Showtime? 413 00:16:40,207 --> 00:16:41,250 (gasps) 414 00:16:42,042 --> 00:16:43,460 All right, people. 415 00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:44,920 If you're not in a diaper, get off my stage. 416 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,296 Off, off, off, off. 417 00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:51,176 {\an8}I can't believe we're going to see the octuplets. 418 00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:52,845 {\an8}You already saw them. 419 00:16:52,928 --> 00:16:55,431 Yeah, but now their umbilical cords have fallen off. 420 00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:57,933 -(drumroll) -Ladies and gentlemen, 421 00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:02,146 get ready for the eight wonders of the Third World. 422 00:17:02,229 --> 00:17:04,690 Welcome to Octopia! 423 00:17:04,773 --> 00:17:07,317 (pulsating techno music playing) 424 00:17:09,945 --> 00:17:12,865 He can't talk, but, man, can he rock. 425 00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:16,618 Say hello to the baddest baby in the whole damn town... 426 00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:17,828 Animal! 427 00:17:17,911 --> 00:17:19,371 ♪ Welcome to the jungle ♪ 428 00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:20,622 ♪ We got fun and games ♪ 429 00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:22,082 AUDIENCE: Aw. 430 00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:23,083 ♪ We got everything you want... ♪ 431 00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:24,334 How can he rebel? 432 00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:25,669 He doesn't even know where he is. 433 00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:26,879 (dramatic music plays) 434 00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:30,466 Uh-oh, sounds like one of the babies has a fever. 435 00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:31,592 (gasps) 436 00:17:31,675 --> 00:17:33,135 Dance fever, that is. 437 00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:35,054 Oh! (chortling) 438 00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:37,347 Let's hear it for Dazzle! 439 00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:39,600 (swing music playing) 440 00:17:39,683 --> 00:17:41,518 She's no Liza, but it works. 441 00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:42,895 (lively music playing) 442 00:17:42,978 --> 00:17:45,814 And now the standup who can't even sit up. 443 00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,858 Give it up for Punchline! 444 00:17:47,941 --> 00:17:51,570 (audience applauding) 445 00:17:51,653 --> 00:17:52,696 (laughing) 446 00:17:55,282 --> 00:17:57,076 He's thinking what we're all saying. 447 00:17:57,159 --> 00:18:00,454 But all the laughs in the world won't protect you 448 00:18:00,537 --> 00:18:03,707 from the stern discipline of... 449 00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:05,292 the Baron. 450 00:18:05,375 --> 00:18:07,294 ("The Ride of the Valkyries" playing) 451 00:18:07,377 --> 00:18:08,670 (audience booing) 452 00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:11,465 {\an8}Boo, Baron. 453 00:18:11,548 --> 00:18:13,050 And... the rest. 454 00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:15,594 ♪ R-O-C-K in the U.S.A. ♪ 455 00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:18,764 ♪ R-O-C-K in the U.S.A. ♪ 456 00:18:18,847 --> 00:18:20,891 ♪ R-O-C-K in the U.S.A. ♪ 457 00:18:20,974 --> 00:18:22,226 Good night, Springfield. 458 00:18:22,309 --> 00:18:23,310 We'll be back in an hour. 459 00:18:23,393 --> 00:18:25,521 ♪ Rockin' in the U.S.A. ♪ 460 00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:26,605 BOTH: Huh? 461 00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:29,566 (baby burps) 462 00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:30,567 Good babies. 463 00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:31,819 Good, good babies. 464 00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:32,861 Work with Dazzle. 465 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,154 She's a lox out there. 466 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,366 How could you do this to our children? 467 00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:39,868 I know, the lighting cues were a mess. 468 00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,370 Don't worry, the guy's been fired. 469 00:18:41,453 --> 00:18:43,122 Our babies are not circus freaks. 470 00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:44,498 We're taking them home now. 471 00:18:44,581 --> 00:18:46,834 Hold on, Alpo. We got a contract. 472 00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:48,001 Not anymore. 473 00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:50,254 (grunting) 474 00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:51,588 Laminated. 475 00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:53,090 You monster! 476 00:18:53,173 --> 00:18:54,842 Terence, Christopher. 477 00:18:54,925 --> 00:18:56,802 Will you show these two to the exit? 478 00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:58,929 (speaking French) 479 00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:02,349 I'm afraid there's nothing I can do. 480 00:19:02,432 --> 00:19:04,226 The zookeeper paid you off, didn't he? 481 00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:05,310 Paid me off? 482 00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:06,645 What, are you crazy? 483 00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:11,650 So we'll never see our children again? 484 00:19:11,733 --> 00:19:13,527 Well, they might give Dazzle back. 485 00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:16,488 The buzz is, she's got one more show to turn it around. 486 00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:18,240 Well, if the police won't help us, 487 00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:20,659 we'll simply have to take the law into our own hands. 488 00:19:20,742 --> 00:19:23,954 Yeah, yeah, a lot of people are doing that these days. 489 00:19:24,037 --> 00:19:25,539 (insects chirping) 490 00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:35,299 These animals certainly act different at night. 491 00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:38,927 (snarling) 492 00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,179 (chuckling) 493 00:19:41,638 --> 00:19:43,473 (grunting) 494 00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:48,854 Oh, my little treasures. 495 00:19:48,937 --> 00:19:51,356 We'll get you out of this terrible place. 496 00:19:53,775 --> 00:19:55,402 (gasps) She's waking up. 497 00:19:55,485 --> 00:19:57,654 Don't worry, I brought some chloroform. 498 00:19:57,738 --> 00:19:58,655 Pleasant dreams. 499 00:19:58,739 --> 00:20:00,407 There... and there. 500 00:20:00,490 --> 00:20:03,243 You idiot! Those are Colorforms. 501 00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:04,661 -(screams) -(exclaims) 502 00:20:04,745 --> 00:20:06,163 (alarm blaring) 503 00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:08,665 APU: Nabendu... 504 00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:10,334 Pria... and Sashi. 505 00:20:10,417 --> 00:20:11,543 Now let's go! 506 00:20:14,171 --> 00:20:16,715 (gorilla gibbering) 507 00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:20,052 OK, this is getting weird. 508 00:20:20,135 --> 00:20:21,303 (tires screeching) 509 00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:26,683 Oh, my precious babies. 510 00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:28,518 We'll never let you go. 511 00:20:28,602 --> 00:20:30,562 Oh, let's get this awful thing off. 512 00:20:30,979 --> 00:20:31,980 (struggling) 513 00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:34,233 Let me... OK, whatever. 514 00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:37,527 Hold it right there, scumbags! 515 00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:38,528 (gasps) 516 00:20:38,612 --> 00:20:40,364 {\an8}Please, Mr. Kidkill, 517 00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:41,782 {\an8}look into your heart. 518 00:20:41,865 --> 00:20:44,326 {\an8}I know these babies have a lifetime contract. 519 00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:48,121 {\an8}But what if I put together an even better act for you? 520 00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:50,082 {\an8}Something sensational! 521 00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:51,833 It's not just you prancing around 522 00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:53,293 in a monkey suit, is it? 523 00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:54,586 Not anymore. 524 00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:56,713 You've got yourself a deal. 525 00:20:56,797 --> 00:20:58,340 (Homer yelping) 526 00:20:58,423 --> 00:21:02,261 ♪ Highway to the danger zone ♪ 527 00:21:02,344 --> 00:21:04,429 Quiet! You're breaking character. 528 00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:07,599 ♪ Highway to the danger zone ♪ 529 00:21:07,683 --> 00:21:09,309 Are those real cobras? 530 00:21:09,393 --> 00:21:10,727 {\an8}"Some are real, 531 00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:12,271 {\an8}Some are just robots filled with venom." 532 00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:14,231 Now, that is a true friend. 533 00:21:14,314 --> 00:21:15,565 You know, if he can handle that, 534 00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:17,776 maybe we can handle this bunch. 535 00:21:17,859 --> 00:21:19,945 We'll do our best, chutney-butt. 536 00:21:20,028 --> 00:21:21,530 (snakes hissing) 537 00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:23,824 OK, OK, don't panic, Butch. 538 00:21:23,907 --> 00:21:25,325 Release the mongoose! 539 00:21:25,409 --> 00:21:26,868 {\an8}♪ Highway to the danger zone ♪ 540 00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:27,953 {\an8}(whimpering) 541 00:21:28,704 --> 00:21:30,455 (screaming) 542 00:21:34,710 --> 00:21:35,711 (baby laughing) 543 00:21:35,794 --> 00:21:36,670 (screaming) 544 00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:40,716 HOMER: Ow! Oh! 545 00:21:40,799 --> 00:21:44,636 Stupid mongoose! Get the snake! The snake! 546 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,264 Do I look like a snake? Ow! Ow! 547 00:21:47,347 --> 00:21:49,808 Why isn't he listening to me? 548 00:21:49,891 --> 00:21:52,644 Ow! (screaming) 549 00:21:52,728 --> 00:21:54,521 Show's over! Show's over! 550 00:21:54,604 --> 00:21:56,940 Next show at eight o'clock and ten! 551 00:21:57,858 --> 00:21:59,901 (theme music playing) 552 00:22:25,302 --> 00:22:26,136 Shh! 553 00:22:29,681 --> 00:22:31,558 {\an8}Captioned by Visual Data Media Services