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CHORUS: ♪ The Simpsons ♪
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(theme music playing)
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(bell rings)
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(whistle blows)
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(beeping)
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(playing the blues)
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(honking horn)
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D'oh! (screams)
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(brakes screeching)
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Oh, doctor, I'm crazy. (sobs)
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{\an8}Bill. Bill. Ooh! Llib!
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{\an8}Eh, wait a minute... Bill!
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{\an8}Huh? "Springfield University Homecoming."
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{\an8}Finally, a chance to relive
my golden college years.
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{\an8}Dad, you only took one course.
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{\an8}Remember my love affair with Ali McGraw?
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{\an8}She used to call me "Preppy".
Then she died.
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{\an8}Oh, there's a homecoming parade,
A cocktail party...
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{\an8}Then the big game between Springfield-U
and Springfield A&M.
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{\an8}I hate Springfield-U so much.
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{\an8}You went to Springfield-U. You hate A&M.
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{\an8}So much.
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{\an8}My old dorm room.
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{\an8}Come on, baby. Let's matriculate.
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{\an8}(chuckling)
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{\an8}You college boys are only
interested in one thing.
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{\an8}Whoa... you're supposed
to hang your necktie
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{\an8}on the doorknob
if you got a girl in the room.
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{\an8}Or a ski hat if you've got
a picture of a girl.
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{\an8}(all laugh)
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{\an8}My old roommates... the nerds.
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{\an8}-Ah... you working?
-Oh, my, yes.
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{\an8}I'm on a secret project
that I'm not at liberty
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{\an8}to divulge... (coughs) Cyborgs.
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{\an8}I invented a program that downloads porn
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{\an8}off the Internet one million times faster.
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{\an8}Does anybody need that much porno?
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{\an8}Oh... one million times.
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{\an8}(crowd murmuring)
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{\an8}Yeah, so because of me
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{\an8}all the dorms now have security phones.
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{\an8}-(sighs in disgust)
-(tapping on glass)
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And now let's give
a warm Alumni welcome...
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Uh, you know, clapping...
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to Springfield-U's
all-American place kicker
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-Anton Lubchenko.
-(audience clapping)
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In home country, growing up in filth
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Lubchenko dreams to play U.S.A. football.
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On my father's deathbed
he made me promise to--
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(Dean clears throat)
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Long story short, go Springfield-U.
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Yes. Thank you, Anton.
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Now, folks, a seven and five
football season
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doesn't come cheap
and this is a fund-raiser.
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-(screams)
-(audience murmur)
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{\an8}Seal the exits.
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DEAN: Thank you, thank you.
Come on, hurry up.
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All right now, let's empty our pockets.
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-Make me.
-Professor Rocco... Chancellor Knuckles...
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Wait... (whimpering) OK...
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-(whimpering) All right, OK.
-Get every dime.
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The Whiffle-Snuffs need new cummerbunds.
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♪ We look like slobs ♪
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I'm beginning to think this Alumni party
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was just a ruse to get our money.
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That Dean is going to get
an indignant e-mail.
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You should do it with bold, red letters.
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My computer has 512 shades of red.
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Have you nerds forgotten
everything I taught you?
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This calls for a prank.
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I see... a bucket.
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(humming maliciously)
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(chuckles)
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Oh, this is going to be so great.
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I think I know that guy.
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He ran over the Dean five years ago.
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Punch up that picture.
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All right, now age the picture five years.
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That's him. Good work.
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Now, let's see who's having
sex at the library.
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Aw, they scrambled it.
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So when Dean Peterson opens his door
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This bucket of super glue is going to drop
right on his head.
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What the...?
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Oh... (grumbling)
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Oh, real original. Who did this?
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Kappa Gamma Tau.
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Last in grades, first in pranks.
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(laughing)
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Good evening, gentlemen.
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Oh, that's it. You're through, Dean.
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(yelling)
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Now who's the Dean?
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{\an8}(Bart grunting)
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{\an8}Oh... Sorry, dad, it just won't budge.
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I tried greasing the bucket with bacon fat
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but your father kept eating it.
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Oh, couldn't you try a non-delicious fat?
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{\an8}(crying) Oh... there's no such thing.
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(X-ray machine whirring)
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Hmm... I'm afraid it's hopeless.
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Beneath that bucket,
he's more glue than man.
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So he's stuck like this forever?
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Oh, now don't fret.
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These days, the victims of comedy traumas
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or "Traumedies"
can still lead rich, full lives.
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Hi!
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(laughing)
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Sorry, but these guys crack me up.
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What guys? I want to see the freaks.
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{\an8}OK, hang on, Homer.
Two eye holes coming up.
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Easy... Easy! Too far.
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Homer, maybe I should drive.
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What? I can see fine.
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(horn blaring)
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TRUCK DRIVER: Woah!
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(kids screaming)
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HOMER: That had nothing to do
with the bucket.
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Oh... where are we?
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(music playing)
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{\an8}"Brother Faith's Revival"?
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WOMAN: Pray for the healing love
of Brother Faith.
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Whoo! Good Lord.
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Oh, I feel it in my belly now,
Springfield.
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-Mmm... Can you feel the power?
-ALL: Yes!
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-Do you want to be saved?
-ALL: Yes!
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Now, correct me if I'm incorrect
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but was I told that it's untrue
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that people in Springfield have no faith?
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-Was I not misinformed?
-(mumbling)
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The answer I'm looking for is "Yes."
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ALL: Yes!
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♪ Now let's hear it for the Holy Spirit ♪
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♪ No need to fear it ♪
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♪ Just revere it ♪
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♪ He works in heaven ♪
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♪ That's 24-seven, that's right ♪
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♪ Check the bible, yeah ♪
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{\an8}♪ John 02:11, jump back,
feel it, feel it ♪
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{\an8}Wow. He dances better than Jesus himself.
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What ails you, my son?
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{\an8}I done spraint my elbie-bone
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{\an8}so it goes in the opposity di-rection.
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{\an8}The power of faith compels you! Heal!
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{\an8}-Take that, Satan.
-Praise the Lord.
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ALL: Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!
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It was a miracle and it was gross. Cool.
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What affliction be-plagues you, my friend?
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(raspy unintelligible whispers)
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{\an8}-Come again?
-He paralyzed his vocal cords.
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{\an8}Cramming too many "K" sounds
into a punch line.
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Oh, mercy, well, I'm not sure
there's anything I can do for...
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-Feel the power!
-(choking sounds)
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Release this clown!
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Have you gone completely fakackta?
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Hey, I got my comedy "K's" back.
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King Kong cold-cocked Kato Kaelin.
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Hey, you gentiles are all right.
(loud kiss)
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{\an8}Wow. Is there anything he can't do?
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Cure me! Cure me!
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Brother, I sense you are feeling
trapped and desperate.
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Yeah, and I got a bucket on my head.
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Oh... Oh, my.
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Satan really jammed that thing on good.
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{\an8}I'm going to need a holy helper.
Someone who believes.
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{\an8}-No.
-OK, moving on.
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I need someone with the power.
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{\an8}This golden-haired little boy.
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Son, lay hands upon
your father's burdensome bucket.
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{\an8}Now proclaim, "I have the power."
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{\an8}(weakly) "I have the power."
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Oh, say it like you mean it, boy.
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"I have the power."
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"I have the power!"
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(all gasps)
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-I see the light. It burns!
-Hallelujah!
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Behold... This child has the power.
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ALL: Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!
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{\an8}HOMER: Uh, miracle boy...
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I believe I had hair. Oh, here they are.
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Ah, you two were great tonight.
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You didn't bite me or anything.
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-Oh, how's that little rattle doing?
-(rattling)
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(chuckles)
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{\an8}Excuse me, Brother Faith. I got to know...
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How did you really get
the bucket off my dad's head?
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Well, I didn't, son... you did.
God gave you the power.
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{\an8}Really? Hmmm...
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{\an8}I would think he would
want to limit my power.
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(chuckles) Oh, yes, Lord.
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When I was your age,
I was a hell-raiser, too.
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My slingshot was my cross.
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But I saw the light
and changed my wicked ways.
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{\an8}I figure I'll go for the life of sin
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{\an8}followed by the presto-chango
deathbed repentance.
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Wow, that's a good angle.
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But that's not God's angle.
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Why not spend your life
helping people instead?
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Then you're also covered
in case of sudden death.
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{\an8}Full coverage. Hmmm...
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Then I said, "I have the power!"
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And the bucket came off.
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ALL: Cool! Wow!
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Can you heal me?
205
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:04,854
I can't breathe good
and it makes me sleepy.
206
00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:06,689
I'll give it a whirl, Ralphie boy.
207
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:11,277
-Devil be gone!
-Ow!
208
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:15,781
-My milk money and my milk.
-ALL: Ew!
209
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,116
You did it, Bart.
210
00:10:17,199 --> 00:10:18,951
He really does have the power.
211
00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:20,995
Go forth and spread the word!
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00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:23,831
-Spread it!
-(kids yelling)
213
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:27,293
Bart, I hope you don't believe
your own hype.
214
00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:29,962
{\an8}Number of miracles performed by Bart-02.
215
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:32,298
{\an8}Number performed by Lisa-zero.
216
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,717
How can you believe all this mumbo-jumbo?
217
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The bucket came off dad's head
218
00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:38,220
because the bright lights heated it
219
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,556
causing the metal to expand.
220
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,808
{\an8}"Heat makes metal expand."
221
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:44,644
{\an8}Now who's talking mumbo-jumbo?
222
00:10:46,854 --> 00:10:51,108
{\an8}(grunts) I can't come up with an idea
for my homecoming float.
223
00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:54,028
{\an8}-Do it for me.
-What have you got so far?
224
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:58,824
HOMER: Look at Moe dance ♪ Aloha Moe ♪
225
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{\an8}That's nice, but maybe
your homecoming float
226
00:11:01,118 --> 00:11:02,912
{\an8}should have something to do with college.
227
00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:04,163
Yeah, you're right.
228
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,877
{\an8}I think Godzilla's bigger than superman.
229
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Pfft... it's not to scale.
230
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In his letter to the Corinthians
231
00:11:15,591 --> 00:11:18,552
Paul instructed them to send ten copies
232
00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:21,972
to the Thessalonians and the Ephesians.
233
00:11:22,056 --> 00:11:25,518
But the Ephesians broke
the chain and were punished...
234
00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:27,353
I got two words for this sermon...
235
00:11:27,436 --> 00:11:29,313
(snores) (whistles)
236
00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:31,357
Am I boring you, Bart?
237
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,818
Well, to be honest, yes.
238
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Hey, I'm doing the best
with the material I have.
239
00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:37,863
But church can be fun.
240
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:40,032
-(all laughing)
-No, really.
241
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:42,910
It can be a crazy party
with clouds and lasers and miracles...
242
00:11:42,993 --> 00:11:44,328
And chilIi fries!
243
00:11:44,412 --> 00:11:47,248
A real preacher knows
how to bring the bible alive
244
00:11:47,331 --> 00:11:50,626
through music and dancing and tae-bo!
245
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,962
(humming tune)
246
00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:55,506
(congregation cheering)
247
00:11:55,589 --> 00:11:57,717
He's kicking it old school!
248
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,635
Never give them an opening.
249
00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:04,515
Three, two, one, pull!
250
00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:07,017
(grunting)
251
00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:15,735
That exterminator tent will be perfect
for your revival meeting.
252
00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:18,237
-(coughs)
-Hmm, maybe we should air it out a little.
253
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:20,364
{\an8}(whimpering)
254
00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:22,700
{\an8}(whistling)
255
00:12:22,783 --> 00:12:25,161
Ah, ha. Excuse me, neighbor.
256
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:27,288
Ah, yeah, I couldn't help but notice
257
00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:29,707
you picked pretty much all of my flowers.
258
00:12:30,541 --> 00:12:31,917
Can't make a float without flowers.
259
00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:33,627
Oh, sure enough
260
00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:36,255
but, uh, did you have to salt the earth
261
00:12:36,338 --> 00:12:37,882
so nothing would ever grow again?
262
00:12:37,965 --> 00:12:40,342
(chuckling sheepishly) Yeah.
263
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:42,052
(church organ playing)
264
00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:48,392
OK, Springfield!
265
00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:51,896
-How many of you are in horrible pain?
-ALL: Yes!
266
00:12:51,979 --> 00:12:56,901
MILHOUSE: Then put your souls
together for brother... Bart!
267
00:12:57,735 --> 00:13:00,988
{\an8}-Satan, eat my shorts!
-(all cheering )
268
00:13:01,071 --> 00:13:02,323
{\an8}(gospel music playing)
269
00:13:02,406 --> 00:13:04,575
{\an8}♪ I was a sinner a real bad kid ♪
270
00:13:04,658 --> 00:13:07,161
♪ What thou shalt not, I shalt did ♪
271
00:13:07,244 --> 00:13:09,497
♪ Neighbor's cat I tried to neuter ♪
272
00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:12,249
♪ Took a whiz on the school computer ♪
273
00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:13,751
♪ He took a whiz ♪
274
00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:16,420
♪ Oh, yes, he did ♪
275
00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:19,256
♪ But now I've changed you can't deny ♪
276
00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:20,841
♪ Come on up ♪
277
00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:22,510
♪ And testify ♪
278
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:24,178
♪ Testify, testify ♪
279
00:13:24,261 --> 00:13:26,514
♪ Come on up and testify ♪
280
00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:27,681
My hip's misbehaving.
281
00:13:27,765 --> 00:13:28,682
CHOIR: ♪ Testify ♪
282
00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:30,226
Got a nicotine craving.
283
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:31,393
CHOIR: ♪ Testify ♪
284
00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:32,770
There's a cramp in my glayving.
285
00:13:32,853 --> 00:13:33,938
CHOIR: ♪ Testify ♪
286
00:13:34,021 --> 00:13:35,439
♪ Testify ♪
287
00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:36,524
♪ Testify ♪
288
00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:45,658
Perhaps it's time
to fight razzle with dazzle.
289
00:13:49,286 --> 00:13:55,209
(off-key) ♪ Mi... Michael, row... Row...
Row the boat... ♪
290
00:13:55,292 --> 00:13:58,754
{\an8}-Is he killing that guitar, daddy?
-Yes, son.
291
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,173
My glasses make me look like a geek.
292
00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:03,676
Now you'll get the girls you seek.
293
00:14:03,759 --> 00:14:06,095
We'll see you at make-out creek.
294
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:10,099
CONGREGATION:
♪ Bart's the boy of the hour ♪
295
00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:13,018
♪ He's got the power ♪
296
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:15,855
♪ So raise your voice and don't be shy ♪
297
00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:18,399
♪ Testi... Testi... ♪
298
00:14:18,482 --> 00:14:20,860
♪ Tes... ♪
299
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:23,195
♪ Ti... ♪
300
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:25,698
-♪ Fy ♪
-♪ Testify, testify ♪
301
00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:27,950
♪ Come on up and testify ♪
302
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:34,081
Thank you, Bart, for fixing my vision.
303
00:14:34,164 --> 00:14:36,375
Now I see with total precision.
304
00:14:36,458 --> 00:14:39,128
Song's over, Milhouse, but you're welcome.
305
00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:41,922
(humming)
306
00:14:42,506 --> 00:14:43,757
Nice doggy.
307
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:46,093
-(brakes screeching)
-(loud thud)
308
00:14:46,802 --> 00:14:48,053
{\an8}Milhouse!
309
00:14:48,512 --> 00:14:51,599
{\an8}Bury me at make-out creek.
310
00:14:51,682 --> 00:14:53,017
{\an8}(groans)
311
00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:02,484
Oh, Milhouse, this is my fault.
I'm so sorry.
312
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:06,155
That's OK. You can just heal me again,
right?
313
00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:07,364
{\an8}I don't think I can.
314
00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:08,908
Please?
315
00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:11,619
This cast is real itchy
and I tried to scratch
316
00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:13,662
and the fork got stuck in there.
317
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,915
And I think there
was some food on the fork.
318
00:15:16,498 --> 00:15:19,710
Ugh. OK, I'll see what I can do.
319
00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:23,839
{\an8}Heal... Heal. (steady tone)
320
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:26,008
Oh, it always does that. (grunting)
321
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:27,676
(beeping)
322
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,929
Milhouse, I can't help you.
323
00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:31,347
I am no healer.
324
00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:35,059
Could you tell my mom I'm here?
325
00:15:35,142 --> 00:15:38,812
Big game fever is reaching a fevered pitch
as the fevered rivalry
326
00:15:38,896 --> 00:15:41,398
between Springfield-U. and Springfield A&M
327
00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:45,027
spreads like wild fever.
This... this is writing?
328
00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:48,197
I'm sorry, uncle Kent.
I lost my thesaurus.
329
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:51,283
(muttering) "Thesaurus"...
You'll lose more than that.
330
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:54,620
In preparation for the big game,
Springfield stadium has caught
331
00:15:54,703 --> 00:15:58,248
additional-seating-capacity
fever. (chuckles) (growling)
332
00:15:58,332 --> 00:15:59,750
Whoo-hoo! Go S.U.!
333
00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:02,503
A&M is going to kick
your ivy-covered butts.
334
00:16:02,586 --> 00:16:04,797
Yeah? Well, you went to a cow college.
335
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:06,840
Oh, you're only calling us a cow college
336
00:16:06,924 --> 00:16:08,550
'cause we were founded by a cow.
337
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:17,643
Whoa, Nellie, we have ourselves
a barn burner today.
338
00:16:17,726 --> 00:16:19,812
Welcome to the 117th dust-up between
339
00:16:19,895 --> 00:16:22,106
the Snorting Wwine of Springfield A&M
340
00:16:22,189 --> 00:16:24,566
and the Springfield University
Nittany Tide.
341
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:27,277
Oh-ho, doctor, break out
the hickory switch.
342
00:16:28,612 --> 00:16:30,322
OK, who needs another lamb rack?
343
00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:33,450
Lisa, Ham hock? Tri-tip?
344
00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:35,995
Do we have any food that wasn't
brutally slaughtered?
345
00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:38,205
Well, I think the veal might
have died of loneliness.
346
00:16:38,288 --> 00:16:40,332
Well, hang on to your hoop-skirts, folks,
347
00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:43,127
because Anton Lubchenko
is going to be kicking higher
348
00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:45,045
than a mule on payday.
349
00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:48,424
Oh, Land O'Lakes! Take that, ozone layer!
350
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:50,884
Oof!
351
00:16:51,468 --> 00:16:53,137
(all grunting)
352
00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:57,349
ANNOUNCER: What a glorious day
to be that man's foot.
353
00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:58,434
(kissing)
354
00:17:01,895 --> 00:17:03,230
(whistle blows)
355
00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:05,566
Whoa, Annie get your radar gun!
356
00:17:05,649 --> 00:17:08,777
'Cause that tamale
was one tall drink of water.
357
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:12,823
Wow! He should have his foot insured
by Lloyd's of London.
358
00:17:12,906 --> 00:17:15,909
(slurring words) You just know what
everyone should do, don't you, Marge?
359
00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:18,162
-(buzzer sounds)
-Now, ladies and gentlemen
360
00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:19,997
pour a little cider on those peepers
361
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:22,833
'cause here comes the halftime parade!
362
00:17:22,916 --> 00:17:25,627
(gasping) I forgot my float!
Quick! Pass me down!
363
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:28,297
-(crowd grunting)
-HOMER: (laughing) Stop that!
364
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:33,177
OK, Lis, if they don't have tabbouleh
365
00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:34,178
what's your second choice?
366
00:17:34,261 --> 00:17:35,763
They'll have tabbouleh.
367
00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:38,140
You're the miracle boy
with the healing hands
368
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:39,641
Arr... en't ya?
369
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:41,310
{\an8}Nah, I don't do that anymore.
370
00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:43,103
So I guess I'll have to see someone else
371
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:44,730
about my crippling depression.
372
00:17:45,522 --> 00:17:47,566
(softly) Arrgh.
373
00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:50,235
{\an8}Wow... And I thought he had it all.
374
00:17:51,653 --> 00:17:54,490
♪ I've had ♪
375
00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:57,242
♪ The halftime of my life ♪
376
00:17:57,326 --> 00:18:00,788
♪ And I owe it all to S. U. ♪
377
00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:03,874
An overdue tribute to halftime itself.
378
00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:06,293
And as those lumbering ships
of the gridiron
379
00:18:06,376 --> 00:18:07,878
sail off into our memories
380
00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:09,755
The players return to the field.
381
00:18:10,297 --> 00:18:11,548
HOMER: Wait... hang on!
382
00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:13,175
ANNOUNCER: Then... what's this?
383
00:18:13,258 --> 00:18:14,676
(engine misfiring)
384
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,262
Wait, wait! I got a float, too!
385
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:20,057
Listen up, 'cause I got to
explain a lot it!
386
00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:21,809
(all booing)
387
00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:22,935
Boo?
388
00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:25,270
Hey, look out! He's nuts!
389
00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:27,731
{\an8}Out of the way, Baryshnikov!
390
00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:28,899
{\an8}(yelling in Russian)
391
00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:31,443
-(tires screeching)
-(all gasping)
392
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:33,320
He hit the star player!
393
00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:36,323
Dad has the worst luck when he's drinking.
394
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:40,160
-Now, does this hurt?
-Aah!
395
00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:41,537
Just a simple yes or no.
396
00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:45,290
Oh, I only wanted to show
my school spirit.
397
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:50,379
I wagered a large sum on the performance
of that scholar-athlete.
398
00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:56,301
{\an8}(sobbing) No! Wit! I got a kid
who's a miracle worker.
399
00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:57,845
{\an8}He'll heal him up real good.
400
00:18:57,928 --> 00:19:00,389
Well, he'd better, or else...
401
00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:01,682
Or else what?
402
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:03,433
Oh, right, the ice pick.
403
00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:08,480
Bart, I need a miracle!
404
00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:11,275
Sorry, dad. I can't just
magically cure a broken leg.
405
00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:12,734
(Fat Tony clears throat)
406
00:19:13,777 --> 00:19:15,154
(shrieks) Please, Bart!
407
00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:17,072
You've got to use your powers.
408
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,157
I'm begging you.
409
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:21,243
(Lubchenko groaning)
410
00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:24,538
Son, I'm afraid that leg
is hanging by a thread.
411
00:19:24,621 --> 00:19:27,624
-Lubchenko must return to game.
-(chuckling)
412
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:29,501
Oh, your playing days are over, my friend.
413
00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:31,920
But you can always
fall back on your degree in...
414
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:35,007
Communications! Oh, dear Lord!
415
00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:38,844
I know... is phony major. (sobbing)
416
00:19:38,927 --> 00:19:41,847
Lubchenko learn nothing,
nothing! (sobbing)
417
00:19:41,930 --> 00:19:43,015
{\an8}Bart, do your thing.
418
00:19:44,391 --> 00:19:50,022
(gulping) OK, God, if you did give me
a power, let it work now...
419
00:19:50,105 --> 00:19:52,816
Not just for me, but for my dad.
420
00:19:54,234 --> 00:19:57,279
Heal, heal, heal!
421
00:19:57,362 --> 00:19:59,990
Oh, doctor, with S.U. behind
and seconds left
422
00:20:00,073 --> 00:20:02,242
my supply of homespun sayings
423
00:20:02,326 --> 00:20:05,287
is lower than a doodlebug
in aunt Tillie's root cellar.
424
00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:06,371
So we'll...
425
00:20:06,455 --> 00:20:08,624
Oh, jumpin' crawdaddies!
426
00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:10,918
Is that Lubchenko coming back
on the field?
427
00:20:11,001 --> 00:20:13,378
(all cheering)
428
00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:17,174
{\an8}Bart did it! And they're going
to try for a field goal!
429
00:20:17,257 --> 00:20:19,968
A field goal? Hmm... 19, 20, 21.
430
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:22,471
(gasping) That would win the game!
431
00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:40,155
(effort grunt)
432
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:41,573
(all cheering)
433
00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:45,869
Uh?
434
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:50,123
(all groaning)
435
00:20:53,877 --> 00:20:55,629
Uh?
436
00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:57,673
(whistle blows)
437
00:20:57,756 --> 00:21:00,092
(all cheering)
438
00:21:00,175 --> 00:21:02,302
I did it! I did it!
439
00:21:02,386 --> 00:21:04,554
{\an8}My leg... it broke off!
440
00:21:07,307 --> 00:21:08,392
MAN: Yes!
441
00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:10,936
(grunts) (chuckles)
442
00:21:11,603 --> 00:21:13,105
(groans like a guitar)
443
00:21:15,315 --> 00:21:18,568
-Poor guy... he lost his leg.
-No, no. No...
444
00:21:18,652 --> 00:21:20,445
The fans will whoop it up
with that leg tonight...
445
00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:22,197
You know, drink beer out of it and so on.
446
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:23,699
But, uh, it'll turn up in the morning
447
00:21:23,782 --> 00:21:25,200
And I'll sew it back on.
448
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:26,785
Will that really work?
449
00:21:26,868 --> 00:21:28,453
Well, I assume so...
450
00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:31,081
{\an8}As long as I have Bart's healing powers.
451
00:21:31,164 --> 00:21:32,874
{\an8}Why won't anybody listen to me?
452
00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:35,085
I don't have any special powers.
453
00:21:35,168 --> 00:21:36,962
I am not a healer.
454
00:21:37,045 --> 00:21:39,381
Fine. More money for me.
455
00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:46,471
(theme music playing)
456
00:22:25,635 --> 00:22:26,470
Shh!
457
00:22:29,931 --> 00:22:32,309
{\an8}Captioned by
Visual Data Media Services