CHORUS: ♪ The Simpsons ♪
(theme music playing)
(bell ringing)
(whistle blows)
(beeping)
(playing the blues)
(honking horn)
D'oh (screams)
(tires screeching)
(whoopee cushion farting)
-(Homer chuckles) -(Bart laughs)
Here you go, boy. Soup's on.
(growling)
Whoa! (scared)
Hmm? Hmm?
Hmm?
Hey, if you're out here,
then who's in there?
-Whoa! A badger! -(growling)
Sorry, man. You can't crash here.
Come on, let's go.
(growling)
-(whimpers) -Well, boy, looks like
you got yourself a roommate.
-(grunting) -(whimpering)
Come on, Lise. There's got to be a way
to lure that badger out.
Well, according to whatbadgerseat.com,
"Badgers subsist primarily
on a diet of stoats, voles, and marmots."
Hmm, stoats, stoats...
Stoats are weasels, Bart.
They don't come in cans.
Then what's this?
That says "corn," Bart.
Must you embarrass me?
Here we are,
"In a pinch, badgers have even been known to eat woodpeckers."
Perfect! Hey, Todd,
can we borrow your woodpecker?
I guess so.
But we need him back by 6:00.
It's his birthday.
-OK. -(screeching)
-(humming) -(snarling and growling)
(screeching)
Ahh... Ow!
(laughs like Woody Woodpecker)
-Hmm. -Hmm.
(humming)
Television broken?
No, there's a badger in there.
Badger, my ass!
It's probably Milhouse.
Milhouse... Milhouse...
(growling and snapping)
(Homer screaming)
(groans)
It's a badger, all right.
Or possibly a griffin.
Bart, do you have any dynamite in your room?
-Tons. -Get it.
No, Dad, we don't want to kill him.
Let's call animal control.
Great idea.
Then we should call a doctor about this.
How did the badger do that without ripping your shirt?
What am I, a tailor?
Hmm-hmm. Hmm
(hums)
-(tri-tone beeps) -Hmm?
RECORDED VOICE: Your call cannot be completed as dialed.
Please make sure you have the correct area code.
Area code? But it's a local call!
The phone company ran out of numbers,
so they split the city into two area codes.
Half the town keeps the old 636 area code,
and our half gets 939.
939? What the hell is that?
Oh, my life is ruined!
Jeez, you just have to remember three extra numbers.
Oh, if only it were that easy, Marge.
-(growling) -Go away!
We got bigger problems now!
I'm not going to stand for this.
I'm going to call the newspapers, the TV stations,
the gas stations, everybody!
-(tri-tone beeps) -(screaming)
(beeping continues)
(whimpering)
HOMER: I hate this new area code.
Like I don't have enough to remember already.
Is that right?
Don't you miss the old 636... Carl?
I'm not sure which one's better.
The six is closer to the three,
so you got convenience there,
But the nine has less to do with Satan,
which is a plus in this religious world of ours.
What really burns me up
is they didn't give us one word of warning.
What do you mean?
They ran those TV commercials about it
and that big radio campaign.
Don't forget the leaflets they dropped
from the space shuttle
and the two weeks we all spent at area code camp.
Not a single word of warning.
BILL (on radio): And traffic's all backed up
due to a mattress on the freeway.
A mattress? Uh-oh!
Joan Collins must be in town.
(both laughing)
AUSTIN POWERS: Oh, behave!
(laughing)
Joan Collins!
That girl sleeps with everybody!
OK, time to give away
free concert tickets.
GARY COLEMAN: What you talkin' about?
Whoa-ho. What we're talkin' about, Gary,
is The Who!
We're giving away tickets to next week's concert
at Springfield's historic
Yahoo search engine arena!
(gasps) The Who?
I love bands!
And now, we'll dial our big winner at random.
JINGLE SINGERS: ♪ Dialing at random! ♪
OK, let's start with five, five, five...
-Uh. Huh. Huh. Huh. -BILL: ... zero, one, one ...
-Huh... -BILL: ... and three!
(gasps) That's my number!
(phone rings on radio)
MR. BURNS (on radio): Ahoy, hoy.
Hey... that's not me.
Dad, we're not in their area code anymore.
BILL: Congratulations, you're gonna
rendezvous with The Who!
Oh, it's not fair!
I've been a fan of The Who since the very beginning
when they were The Hillbilly Bugger Boys.
You should call that radio station and let 'em have it.
Good idea!
(tri-tone beeps)
-(laughing) -Why, you little...
(grunting)
Ow!
Oh!
(both grunting)
I know that some of you are upset
about the area code change
especially those of you covered with dynamite.
First, let me reassure you
your fears are groundless
and your complaints, moronic.
-(murmuring) -That's good.
This film will explain everything to you
in words that you can understand.
(film projector whirring)
Hi, I'm Phoney McRingring,
mascot and president of the telephone company
and I'm here to explain
why the convenience of one area code in...
AUTOMATED VOICE: Your town.
...has been replaced by the convenience
of two area codes.
Uh, I have a question, Phoney...
It's a movie, Dad.
Quiet, honey, daddy's asking the man a question.
You're probably thinking,
"Sure, more area codes are great
and I don't mind paying the extra hidden fees,
but how will I remember all those numbers?"
Whoa!
Well, scientists have discovered
that even monkeys can memorize ten numbers.
Are you stupider than a monkey?
How big of a monkey?
(laughing)
Of course you're not.
Well, I'm convinced.
A professional-looking film like that has got to be right.
I agree. Two area codes is more convenient.
-MAN: I like it. -Wait a minute,
we haven't heard from me yet,
the nut with the dynamite!
The phone company is bamboozling you.
(murmuring)
I accuse the phone company
of making that film on purpose.
Well, of course we did.
(all gasping)
Now, I'm not one to make trouble,
but it seems to me that everyone
who got to keep the old,
or classic 636 area code,
lives on the rich side of town!
Ooh, poppycock.
-I never! -Eh.
And, as usual,
we Joe 12-packs
get the royal screw job.
Homer's right!
We're getting the Joan Collins special.
(clamoring)
Well, I've had it!
You rich snobs aren't pushing us around any more!
And what are you pathetic slobs going to do about it?
Well, I...
(grunting)
Huh? (grunting)
Oh, nice wiring, Bart.
It worked on the test corpse.
OK, plan B.
Fellow 939-ers,
I say we break off and form our own city!
(all cheering)
- MAN 1: Yes! - MAN 2: We're with you, Homer!
Come on! Let's go!
-(all cheering) -(in Spanish) Viva la revolucian!
HOMER (in English): No, who's stupid.
There, we're officially a city.
Now we just sit back and wait for an NFL franchise.
(whistling)
Say, I couldn't help but overhear.
I represent the Arizona cardinals...
-Keep walking. -Mmm.
Good decision there, Homer.
You showed a lot of poise.
Yeah, maybe you ought to be mayor of New Springfield.
Mayor, eh?
(gunshots)
NARRATOR: The Mayor.
Starring Homer Simpson.
I reluctantly accept
this highly-paid glamorous job.
MAYOR QUIMBY: Presenting our new plaque.
(all cheering)
I say the time for bitterness has passed.
Let us extend to our brothers in New Springfield
the olive branch of...
-(groans) -New Springfield rocks!
(all laughing)
Go ahead and laugh.
We have a better town bird.
Oh, yeah? What is it?
The bluebird.
-Damn it. -More wheatcakes, Mr. Mayor?
Read my lips... Yes.
Dad, you got syrup on your sash.
No problem. (grunts)
If you ask me...
HOMER: Stop right there.
It's stupid to divide the city
over something as silly as an area code.
It'd be like you and Mom splitting up
every time you have a fight.
Sweetie, you know your mother and I
only stay together
for the sake of my political career.
That's not true.
Big grins.
Mwah!
That'll play great in the sticks.
(slurps)
(hums)
Oh, that was 50 already?
Go long!
(grunts)
Hey, look what I found,
a novelty flying disc.
BART: Give it back.
That's my novelty flying disc.
You're in Olde Springfield now.
Everything on this side of the park belongs to us.
Hey, his pants are in our park, too.
Get him!
(grunting)
(laughing)
My homework is in your park.
Let's do it!
Yoink!
What's does freedom mean to me?
APU: All right, root beer, bananas
and toilet paper.
50% out-of-towners' tax.
Out-of-towner tax?
I'm sorry, Mrs. Simpson,
but we have to charge you foreign devils more.
All right, but this better be
the best toilet paper I've ever had.
Oh, no worries there.
That's Henderson's toilet paper.
Oh, why didn't you say so?
Hey, is there a bathroom here?
Not for you.
(grumbles)
MARGE: I don't know why,
but I just didn't feel comfortable
until I was back here in New Springfield
with my own kind.
Mom!
They were looking at me
with their eyes.
As expected, New Springfield's bold experiment
in slob rule is a disaster.
Hey, the TV man is talking about us.
A study shows their crumbling economy
is due to their lazy attitude and shoddy work.
How the hell did they find that out?
NEWSREADER: Scientists say they're also
less attractive physically
and while we speak in a well-educated manner,
they tend to use low-brow expressions like,
"Oh, yeah?" and "Come here a minute."
Oh, yeah?
They think they're better than us, huh?
Bart, come here a minute.
-You come here a minute. -Oh, yeah?
Dad, I don't think this is such a good idea.
Thank you, Marge.
Now, let's see how Olde Snubfield does
without electricity.
(electrical shorting)
Woo-hoo!
NURSE: Oh, no, you can't do heart surgery in the dark.
DOCTOR: Sounds like a wager to me.
KRUSTY THE CLOWN: I'll take a piece of that.
I will now transport Sir Isaac Newton
into the modern day.
(whirring)
AUTOMATED VOICE: Warning, power failure.
Aha. Ow, ow. Sweet Glayvin.
Oh, good god. Hey! Watch it! Now, watch it!
(groans)
Sir Isaac's legs are hurting.
NEWSREADER: In retaliation for the power outage,
Olde Springfield patriots
have intercepted a beer truck
bound for New Springfield
and dumped all the beer in the river.
Those rich, snobby Indians.
(grunting)
Oh, there's nothing like revenge
for getting back at people.
I don't know, vengeance is pretty good.
HOMER: Whoo-hoo, flush the water.
They got us now.
Without water, we're doomed.
Wait a minute.
What's that gold-colored substance in the riverbed?
-Why that's gold. -(gasps)
(laughing)
We're slightly richer.
(all cheering)
Eureka!
With the money made from the gold,
Olde Springfield was able to buy
the Evian water factory
and fly it over here from France.
Oh!
Thanks, Mayor Simpson.
Because of you, we're all taking golden showers.
-(crew laughing) -What?
We can't go on fighting with Olde Springfield.
These people are our neighbors.
We see them every day.
You're right.
We've got to block them from our sight
with a giant wall.
Like the one in Berlin?
Good idea.
We should call the guys they used.
(tri-tone beeps)
Homer.
It's ringing.
(tri-tone beeps)
And I'd like to thank Low Ball Construction
for building this amazing wall
from 90% recycled material.
(scattered applause)
-I'm so conflicted. -About what?
Loyal citizens of New Springfield,
you stayed on my side of town
despite a total lack of hospitals and schools
and a sewage nightmare
that threatens to consume us all.
How do we get our food?
All the roads are blocked.
(murmuring)
Don't worry.
We have plenty of supplies to get through tomorrow.
And then a wave of disease should help to...
Hey!
Stop streaming over the wall!
At least wait till I'm through talking.
OK, now, as for food,
the following breeds of dog are edible.
-See ya! -(Barney) Bye, Homer!
(grunting)
Oh! I can't believe
all those rats fled my town.
I guess it's just us and the tumbleweeds.
Oh!
BART: Well, Dad,
you're mayor of a ghost town.
Oh, I can't believe
those traitors abandoned us.
They couldn't take one lousy famine.
(grunts)
Dad, you're bleeding.
No problem. (grunts)
Anyhow, those rats will come crawling back.
(chuckles)
We've got The Who playing here tonight.
Dad, the arena's in Olde Springfield.
D'oh!
Don't give up, Dad.
Maybe we can get The Who to play here, instead.
Hey, maybe we could.
But we'll need some liquid persuasion.
(grunts)
Come on, Bart. We're going to bring back The Who.
(kissing)
(moaning)
(elevator bell dings)
-HOMER: Ohh... -Can I help you?
Uh...
Dad, the chloroform.
Huh?
Oh, right.
I'll give you this bottle of chloroform
-if you'll take us to The Who. -D'oh.
Oh, so you want to see The Who, huh?
Well, I'll take you to The Who.
Here's your Who!
(both grunting)
I thought we fired that guard.
Oh, yeah, right. I got fired by The Who.
Whatever you say, pal.
(whistles) Wacko.
Wow, The Who!
(chuckles)
(grunts) Whoo!
Rock and roll!
(grunts)
What the hell are you doing?
(chuckles) Duh.
Trashing the hotel room.
But we promised the desk clerk we'd be good.
Yeah, we don't want to lose our pool privileges.
Whatever.
The point is, I'm Homer Simpson.
The mayor of New Springfield?
That's right.
The crazy mayor of New Springfield?
That's right.
And I implore you to move your concert to our town.
Don't play Olde Springfield.
Or, as it is sometimes known, Sun City.
But we have a handshake agreement
with a concert promoter
and that's a sacred bond.
ALL: Sacred bond.
Come on, what happened to the angry, defiant Who
of "My generation," "Won't get fooled again"
and "Mama's got a squeeze box"?
We know our songs, Homer.
But those Olde Springfield squares
are just going to make you cut your hair,
turn down your music,
and wear frilly shirts like Keith Partridge.
Keith Partridge?
Who huddle.
(muttering)
We'll do it.
Yeah!
Just send a cab for us.
Why, is something wrong with your legs?
You're right. The walk will do us good.
I opened for The Who at Woodstock.
I came out in a Beatle wig with a ukulele.
Hendrix said he almost plotzed.
His exact words.
Oh, I never tire of that story.
Smithers, why did you iron
a crease in these dungarees?
I look like a square.
Uh, that crease is in your leg, sir.
Oh, so it is.
Yes...
(all yelling)
Hmm, it's not like The Who to be tardy.
I'm worried.
-(music playing) -What's that?
Argh! 'tis The Who!
By my reckoning,
they're in the scurvy depths of New Springfield.
Homer stole our rock performance.
That fat, dumb and bald guy
sure plays some real hardball.
Who's ready to riot?
(all yelling angrily)
♪ I won't get to get what I'm after ♪
♪ Till the day I die ♪
How you doing out there, New Springfield?
(cheering and applause)
To be honest, it's a little chilly...
Ow!
DALTREY: Get out of the way, Marge.
We were expecting a bigger crowd, Homer.
Oh, don't worry, they'll be here soon
and then they'll see who's got the better town.
Now, these are the tunes I want you boys to play.
Wait a minute.
Homer, a lot of these
are grand funk railroad songs.
And we don't know "Pacman fever."
Oh, come on, it plays itself.
♪ A Pacman fever ♪
♪ A doodle-ee-do ♪
♪ It's a-drivin' me a cra-aa-aazy! ♪
Look, Lisa, daddy's in The Who.
Oh.
(chuckles)
(imitating electric guitar)
(singing gibberish)
Ow!
Give us back our concert, Simpson!
So, new Springfield's
looking pretty good now, isn't it?
With our ample parking
and daily Who concerts.
-Daily? -We'll talk.
Yeah, all right, enough chitchat.
Let's see how you like flaming garbage!
(all yelling angrily)
(grunting)
(singsong) Ha, ha, you hit the tire fire.
You'll have to do bet...
Ow! Oh, why me?
(screams)
People, please.
What's all this fighting about?
Apparently, they have two different area codes.
Well, I'll be chuggered.
That's a sticky wicket.
Why not just buy telephones
with auto ring-up?
Or, as you yanks call it, "speed-dial."
(intrigued murmuring)
Radio shack has some great ones.
Ah, says you.
"Magic bus".
ALL: Yeah, "Magic bus"!
OK, we'll play "Magic bus"
if you tear down this wall.
"Pinball wizard"!
Oh, hell, I'll do it myself.
(power chord)
(plays "Won't get fooled again")
(all cheering)
♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ I'll tip my hat to the new constitution ♪
♪ Take a bow... ♪
Well, Marge,
looks like your insane experiment is over.
My experiment?
You're the one who came up with this whole idea...
♪ Just like yesterday ♪
♪ Then I get on my knees ♪
♪ And pray ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ Meet the new boss ♪
♪ Same as the old boss ♪
(whimpers)
(theme music playing)
-(tri-tone beeping) -Shh!
(tri-tone beeping continues)
Captioned by Visual Data Media Services