1 00:00:01,042 --> 00:00:02,168 (theme music playing) 2 00:00:02,877 --> 00:00:06,464 CHORUS: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 3 00:00:17,058 --> 00:00:18,935 (bell ringing) 4 00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:25,191 (whistle blows) 5 00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:31,239 (beeping) 6 00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:37,787 (playing the blues) 7 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,330 (jazzy solo) 8 00:00:47,505 --> 00:00:48,465 (chimes) 9 00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:53,928 (tires screeching) 10 00:00:58,850 --> 00:00:59,768 (honking horn) 11 00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:05,523 D'oh! 12 00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:06,608 (screams) 13 00:01:06,691 --> 00:01:07,734 (tires screeching) 14 00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:27,003 -D'oh! -Now, be careful 15 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,797 with those video cameras, children. 16 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,548 In order to buy them, the school board had 17 00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:31,841 to eliminate geography. 18 00:01:32,842 --> 00:01:35,178 This globe will never spin again. 19 00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:36,638 {\an8}Now, class, I want you 20 00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:38,473 {\an8}to be creative with your video projects. 21 00:01:38,556 --> 00:01:41,684 {\an8}I don't want to see 30 Blair Witch knockoffs. 22 00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:42,977 {\an8}ALL: Aww... 23 00:01:44,687 --> 00:01:46,815 {\an8}(giggling) 24 00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:49,818 {\an8}Stop Hitting Yourself. Take one. 25 00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:51,945 {\an8}Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself. 26 00:01:52,028 --> 00:01:53,404 {\an8}-Stop hitting yourself. -Ow! 27 00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:55,156 {\an8}Tonight, on the Discovery Channel, 28 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:56,950 {\an8}Inside Lisa's Nose. 29 00:01:57,033 --> 00:01:59,911 {\an8}What will we find? Boogers or Nazi gold? 30 00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:01,329 {\an8}Bart, quit it. 31 00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:02,413 {\an8}No way. 32 00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:04,124 {\an8}Bart sleeps with Raggedy Andy. 33 00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:05,625 {\an8}Cut. Cut. Cut. 34 00:02:07,043 --> 00:02:09,712 {\an8}Otto, a red traffic light means what? 35 00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:12,590 {\an8}Ooh! No time for brain teasers. 36 00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:14,259 {\an8}Today's the day I ask my girlfriend 37 00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:16,594 {\an8}to take a ride on the matrimony pony. 38 00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:18,304 {\an8}(singsongy) Otto's got a girlfriend! 39 00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:20,181 {\an8}Otto's got a girlfriend! 40 00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:21,599 {\an8}That's right, I do. 41 00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:24,185 {\an8}I--I know you do. Baby. 42 00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:28,189 Otto, since when have you had a girlfriend? 43 00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:31,484 We met in the summer of love. 44 00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:33,069 Woodstock '99. 45 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,195 -(rock music playing) -(cheering) 46 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:40,618 {\an8}-Quick! I need some water! -Eight dollars. 47 00:02:40,702 --> 00:02:43,037 {\an8}Huh, not in this lifetime. 48 00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:03,349 {\an8}OK, this is it. 49 00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:08,271 {\an8}Otto? 50 00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:12,192 {\an8}♪ Every rose has its thorn ♪ 51 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:17,488 {\an8}♪ Just like every cowboy ♪ 52 00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:20,074 ♪ Sings his sad, sad song... ♪ 53 00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:22,869 {\an8}Becky... you're my rose. 54 00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:25,038 {\an8}Will you let me be your thorn? 55 00:03:25,121 --> 00:03:27,582 {\an8}Oh, Otto, of course my answer is-- 56 00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:31,211 {\an8}Ooh, wait, wait, wait, wait. This solo is kick-ass! 57 00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:35,048 {\an8}(guitar solo blares on radio) 58 00:03:35,131 --> 00:03:36,799 {\an8}Honey, could you turn it down? 59 00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:38,676 OK, but this better be worth it. 60 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,929 Yes, I will marry you. 61 00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:42,055 Cool. 62 00:03:44,265 --> 00:03:47,227 {\an8}(kids cheering) 63 00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:48,519 {\an8}HOMER: Hmm? 64 00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:50,313 {\an8}Hmm? 65 00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:53,107 {\an8}Homer, look, we're invited to Otto's wedding. 66 00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:56,945 {\an8}Ooh, and such delicate tissue paper. 67 00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:59,030 {\an8}Huh? Zigzag? 68 00:03:59,113 --> 00:04:01,282 {\an8}Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. 69 00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:04,077 {\an8}No knife games on the kitchen table. 70 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:06,120 {\an8}I didn't hit your precious table. 71 00:04:06,204 --> 00:04:10,708 {\an8}Ooh, we're "cordially invited, this Saturday 72 00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:15,129 {\an8}to join Otto and Becky at 742 Evergreen Terrace." 73 00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:16,756 That's our address. 74 00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:18,549 I told Otto he could have the wedding here. 75 00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:21,594 -Hope that's OK. -You should have asked first, Bart. 76 00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:23,221 Weddings are hard work 77 00:04:23,304 --> 00:04:25,348 and cost thousands of dollars. 78 00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:27,058 Hey, it'll be easy. You've still got most of the stuff 79 00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:29,352 -from Apu's wedding back there. -(trumpets) 80 00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:33,189 (groans) 81 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,733 All right, Otto can get married here 82 00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:38,861 but, Homer, you have to get rid of that elephant. 83 00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:41,030 (whimpering) 84 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,991 (tires screeching) 85 00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:46,911 Let's see. Candles, flowers, place cards, rice... 86 00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:49,747 Oh, Mom, you're not supposed to throw rice anymore. 87 00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:52,250 Birds eat it, their stomachs swell, and they explode. 88 00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:54,669 Why am I just learning this now? 89 00:04:54,752 --> 00:04:56,170 (chuckles) 90 00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:58,006 (organ music playing) 91 00:04:58,089 --> 00:05:01,551 Son, your mother and I don't approve of this marriage 92 00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:04,470 as we've not approved of any part of your life to date. 93 00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:06,639 Well, the important thing is you came. 94 00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:07,849 We're leaving. 95 00:05:08,933 --> 00:05:10,268 Drive safe! 96 00:05:10,351 --> 00:05:12,562 (grunts) Always a bridesmaid. 97 00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:14,647 Only occasionally a bride. 98 00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:17,358 Lisa, it's time you learned the truth about men. 99 00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:20,695 -They're pigs? -The bitterness is strong in this one. 100 00:05:20,778 --> 00:05:21,946 (both cackling) 101 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,200 So, any words for the bride and groom? 102 00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:27,327 Not now, Bart. 103 00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:28,703 I'm trying to urinate. 104 00:05:28,786 --> 00:05:30,455 You don't seem to be trying very hard. 105 00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:35,209 (humming) 106 00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:37,462 Dad, the bride and groom are supposed 107 00:05:37,545 --> 00:05:38,796 to cut the wedding cake. 108 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,757 Oh, that's just superstition. 109 00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:43,343 Thank you. 110 00:05:44,385 --> 00:05:45,595 (humming) 111 00:05:52,268 --> 00:05:55,396 (slurping) 112 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,732 (cackles) 113 00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:03,112 (whistling) 114 00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:06,866 Oh, Becky, you look beautiful. 115 00:06:07,241 --> 00:06:09,827 {\an8}I thought you might want to see this bridal magazine. 116 00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:12,705 It's got 900 tips for the perfect marriage. 117 00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,165 All "don'ts." 118 00:06:14,248 --> 00:06:15,500 Oh, we'll be fine. 119 00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:16,876 Otto's got a clean police record, 120 00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:18,753 and he doesn't do any needle drugs. 121 00:06:18,836 --> 00:06:21,381 {\an8}Well, the real key, according to sexperts, 122 00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:23,049 {\an8}is mutual interests. 123 00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:26,177 No prob. We like all the same things. 124 00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:28,388 -Except... -Mm-hmm? 125 00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:29,972 Don't tell Otto, but I'm not 126 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:32,141 into heavy metal, and he loves it. 127 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:35,228 He refers to our lovemaking as the headbanger's ball. 128 00:06:35,311 --> 00:06:38,856 Oh, you can fix little defects like that with gentle nagging. 129 00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:42,110 Make it part of the background noise of your relationship. 130 00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:45,321 That's how I polished Homer into the perfect-- Homer! 131 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,532 No! That's ice! 132 00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:48,783 (grunts) 133 00:06:48,866 --> 00:06:50,618 (humming) 134 00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:53,204 And now... (clears throat) 135 00:06:53,287 --> 00:06:55,873 as for the matter of my honorarium. 136 00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:58,626 -What? -You know, my emolument. 137 00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:01,129 -Huh? -Pay me. Three hundred dollars. 138 00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:04,674 Three hundred? I could have gotten Rick Dees for that. 139 00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:07,760 ("Wedding March" playing) 140 00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:10,012 (music stops) 141 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,974 (playing "Nothing but a Good Time") 142 00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:19,313 (music stops) 143 00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:21,441 You got Poison to play at our wedding? 144 00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:24,402 We're Cyanide, a loving tribute to Poison. 145 00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:25,903 We need a ride home! 146 00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:27,655 You expect me to walk down the aisle 147 00:07:27,738 --> 00:07:29,198 to a monster ballad? 148 00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,493 Let me talk to Otto. 149 00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:33,911 Oh, that's OK. 150 00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:35,163 I guess this is sort of... 151 00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:37,498 (sniffs) ...our song. 152 00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:39,459 Well, it doesn't have to be. 153 00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:41,502 Otto's just going to have to decide 154 00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:42,628 what's more important, 155 00:07:43,087 --> 00:07:45,173 his heavy metal or you. 156 00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:48,426 (playing "Nothing but a Good Time") 157 00:07:51,053 --> 00:07:52,430 Becky, what have I done here? 158 00:07:52,513 --> 00:07:54,390 I'm so sorry. 159 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,392 In about 15 minutes, 160 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,686 I'd take off that wedding dress 161 00:07:58,769 --> 00:08:01,355 or you're going to look crazy. 162 00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:02,982 (sobs) 163 00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:09,238 Moe, can I give you some shrimp for the road? 164 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,574 Nah, I'll just take the ring pillow... 165 00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:14,827 and these, uh, seven presents I brung. 166 00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:16,829 Ah, you know what? Cram some shrimp in, too. 167 00:08:18,956 --> 00:08:21,209 Head to tail. That way you can fit more. 168 00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,295 How about some sauce? 169 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,797 (mumbles) Thanks. 170 00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:29,634 Becky, I know you must feel awful, 171 00:08:29,717 --> 00:08:32,136 but at least this didn't happen after you were married. 172 00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:34,263 Yes, better now than when you're too old 173 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,140 and fat to get another man. 174 00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:37,099 (sobs) 175 00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:38,893 I feel so alone. 176 00:08:38,976 --> 00:08:39,936 What am I going to do? 177 00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:41,896 Hey, why don't you stay with us? 178 00:08:41,979 --> 00:08:44,106 Bart, remember that talk we had 179 00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:46,067 about you volunteering our house? 180 00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:47,693 Remember that talk we had 181 00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:49,737 about you not wrecking people's weddings? 182 00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:51,405 (grumbling) 183 00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:54,200 It's settled. The stranger stays with us. 184 00:08:54,283 --> 00:08:55,159 HOMER, LISA AND BART: Yay! 185 00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:58,621 HOMER: ♪ Cha-cha-cha-changes ♪ 186 00:08:58,704 --> 00:09:02,250 ♪ Time to change the oi-l ♪ 187 00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:03,251 ♪ Changes ♪ 188 00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:05,378 ♪ Don't wanna be an oily man ♪ 189 00:09:05,461 --> 00:09:07,838 A man innocently changes his oil when... 190 00:09:07,922 --> 00:09:10,883 a two-ton car comes crashing down. 191 00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:13,094 ♪ But it won't change oil... ♪ 192 00:09:13,177 --> 00:09:14,971 Crashing down. 193 00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:16,430 {\an8}(grunts) 194 00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:17,932 Oh! 195 00:09:18,015 --> 00:09:19,517 Who'd have thought you could hold up a car 196 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,060 with a wicker basket? 197 00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:24,897 Now, Lisa's going through this phase 198 00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:26,440 where she doesn't eat any meat. 199 00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:27,900 So, I usually sneak a little 200 00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:29,777 meat juice into her vegetables. 201 00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:32,446 Wow, you're a real life Martha Stewart. 202 00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:34,323 I mean, without the evil. 203 00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,117 May I? 204 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:38,119 Mmm! Yummers. 205 00:09:38,202 --> 00:09:41,414 Nobody's ever called my gravy yummers before! 206 00:09:41,497 --> 00:09:45,001 Mmm! You know what would be really nuts? A little rosemary. 207 00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:48,838 Ooh, ooh! I've always wanted to use rosemary in something. 208 00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:50,506 (slurping and smacking) 209 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,091 Mmm. 210 00:09:52,174 --> 00:09:54,218 Mmm! Mom, this gravy 211 00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:55,720 tastes better than God's sweat. 212 00:09:55,803 --> 00:09:58,889 Thanks to our own spice girl, Becky. 213 00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:01,017 Well, Mom, you really brought out 214 00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,019 the mung in these beans. 215 00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:05,313 Actually, that was Becky, too. 216 00:10:05,396 --> 00:10:07,440 What are these things in the mashed potatoes? 217 00:10:07,523 --> 00:10:09,483 That's the skins. I left them on. 218 00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:11,902 Well, nobody's perfect. Let me just pick those out. 219 00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:13,779 No! Oh, Becky. 220 00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:16,574 Your potatoes are the best I've ever had. 221 00:10:16,657 --> 00:10:17,783 Oh, God. 222 00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:21,829 Hey! Hey! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! 223 00:10:21,912 --> 00:10:25,249 -Hey! Hah! Hah! -Stop kicking my baby! 224 00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:28,044 Ah, it's cool. We're just putting some Jackie Chan moves 225 00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:29,670 into Bart's video project. 226 00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:31,464 Yeah, Mom, I need something great. 227 00:10:31,547 --> 00:10:34,175 Milhouse has footage of himself falling down the stairs. 228 00:10:34,258 --> 00:10:37,345 Well, no kicking. It's too dangerous. 229 00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:39,597 Marge, chill out! I have great control. 230 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:41,223 See? Hah! Hah! 231 00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:44,060 That's very impressive, but I still don't... 232 00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:45,728 Stop that! 233 00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:46,687 Hey! Hey! 234 00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:47,897 (saxophone playing) 235 00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:49,899 (grunting) 236 00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:52,652 (grunting continues) 237 00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:55,571 MARGE: Well, hello! 238 00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:58,199 We're jamming, Mom. 239 00:10:58,282 --> 00:10:59,909 She's painting my music, 240 00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:02,078 and I'm playing to her painting. 241 00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:03,412 Isn't it wonderful to have 242 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,331 a hip female influence in the house? 243 00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:08,876 Yes. Well, I guess I'll go roll socks. 244 00:11:08,959 --> 00:11:11,128 It's not hip, but it has to be done. 245 00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:13,464 Actually, you could just tie them at the ends. 246 00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:15,424 That way, the elastic doesn't wear out. 247 00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:18,052 Yes, I hate when things get worn out. 248 00:11:18,135 --> 00:11:21,055 Mmm. Socks, welcomes... 249 00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:28,646 She's so helpful, and everyone loves her. 250 00:11:28,729 --> 00:11:31,482 And well, this may sound crazy, 251 00:11:31,565 --> 00:11:33,859 but I think my family likes Becky more than me. 252 00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:35,736 (laughs nervously) 253 00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:38,072 -I wouldn't worry about that. -Really? 254 00:11:38,155 --> 00:11:40,032 Yeah, you're going to be dead in a week, anyway. 255 00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:42,660 Dead in a week? What are you talking about? 256 00:11:42,743 --> 00:11:46,205 Look, honey, never let an attractive woman into your house. 257 00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:48,624 All they ever do is usurp your family 258 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:49,709 and then kill you. 259 00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:51,127 Like that documentary, 260 00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:52,586 The Hand That Rocks the Cradle. 261 00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:53,713 That was a movie. 262 00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:55,840 Look, all we know 263 00:11:55,923 --> 00:11:57,049 is she's going to shoot you 264 00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:58,551 or stab you or boil you. 265 00:11:58,634 --> 00:12:00,428 Or club you with an antique wooden doll. 266 00:12:00,511 --> 00:12:02,972 (chuckling) Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was a good one. 267 00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:05,850 Oh, but first, she's going to seduce your husband. 268 00:12:05,933 --> 00:12:08,060 Becky's going to seduce Homer? 269 00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:09,854 -Ugh... -Ugh... 270 00:12:09,937 --> 00:12:12,440 It's an act of violence, not love. 271 00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:16,152 (snores) 272 00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:17,695 (groaning softly) 273 00:12:17,778 --> 00:12:18,779 (door creaks) 274 00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:20,156 (gasps) 275 00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:23,951 (gasps) 276 00:12:25,202 --> 00:12:27,288 Oh, I'm sorry, did I wake you? 277 00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:28,581 I wanted to return your hair dryer. 278 00:12:29,957 --> 00:12:31,000 (gun cocks) 279 00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:32,376 (whimpers) 280 00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:34,295 Oh, and here's your brush. 281 00:12:34,378 --> 00:12:35,921 (mumbles incoherently) 282 00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:38,007 You just enjoy your grocery shopping, Marge. 283 00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:40,009 And if you pick up some Semolina, 284 00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:41,844 I can make couscous for Lisa. 285 00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:43,637 Ah! It's my favorite! 286 00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:45,639 -It is? -Oh, yeah. 287 00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:47,016 You can learn a lot from your kids 288 00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:48,058 if you just listen to them. 289 00:12:48,392 --> 00:12:49,351 (giggles) 290 00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:50,686 (groans) 291 00:12:52,855 --> 00:12:54,064 Be right back. 292 00:12:55,232 --> 00:12:56,859 Take your time! 293 00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:03,407 Why do I always think of the perfect thing to say 294 00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:05,075 when it's too late? 295 00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:06,911 Shut up, Becky! 296 00:13:06,994 --> 00:13:09,830 Oh, that would have been sweet. 297 00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:13,667 (gasps) No? 298 00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:16,045 -(buzzing) -MARGE: The brakes cut light! 299 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,173 (horn honking) 300 00:13:19,256 --> 00:13:20,925 -(tires screeching) -MARGE: It's red! 301 00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:25,054 -(grunting) -Uh! 302 00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:26,847 -Ooh! -Wow. Tough glass. 303 00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:29,767 (shutter clicks) 304 00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:31,352 I still say ours is bigger. 305 00:13:31,435 --> 00:13:34,021 (screaming) 306 00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:37,107 Our speed bumps are stronger, too. 307 00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:38,651 CLANCY: I don't know, Simpson. 308 00:13:38,734 --> 00:13:40,945 How do I know you didn't cut your own brakes? 309 00:13:41,028 --> 00:13:42,655 Why would I do that? 310 00:13:42,738 --> 00:13:44,365 I don't know, get some attention 311 00:13:44,448 --> 00:13:45,950 from a handsome police officer? 312 00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:47,493 That's crazy! 313 00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:48,536 (sighs) 314 00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:50,538 Look, I know I don't have any proof, 315 00:13:50,621 --> 00:13:52,873 but this woman is trying to kill me. 316 00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:54,375 Ah, fine. 317 00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:55,626 Let me tell you what I tell everybody 318 00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:56,877 who comes in here. 319 00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:58,838 The law is powerless to help you. 320 00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:01,715 Do I have to be dead before you'll help me? 321 00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:03,425 Well, not dead, dying. 322 00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:05,219 No, no, no, don't walk away. 323 00:14:05,302 --> 00:14:07,513 Wait, how about this, just show me the knife. 324 00:14:07,596 --> 00:14:09,348 In your back. Not too deep, 325 00:14:09,431 --> 00:14:11,517 but it should be able to stand by itself. 326 00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:15,062 Come on, Becky, tell us your big news. 327 00:14:15,145 --> 00:14:17,606 Well, I wanted to wait for your mother, but OK. 328 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,525 I found an apartment, and I'm moving out. 329 00:14:19,608 --> 00:14:20,943 -Oh, no! -HOMER AND BART: Oh! 330 00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:24,989 Becky, I think I speak for all of us when I say... 331 00:14:25,072 --> 00:14:27,741 when's the ice cream going to get here? 332 00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:28,742 -(thunder crashes) -(both gasp) 333 00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:30,452 And god said gather ye 334 00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:32,329 two of every flavor, 335 00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:35,165 anoint them with 62 sauces, 336 00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:36,959 whipped cream, and nuts, 337 00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:39,336 and ye shall call it 338 00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:41,130 "The Ark." 339 00:14:41,213 --> 00:14:44,466 Oh, oh... (panting) 340 00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:45,926 (gagging) 341 00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:48,721 -Homer! -Relax, he's gorging. 342 00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:52,308 -OK, maybe not. -(grunts) 343 00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:53,642 We've got to save him! 344 00:14:58,397 --> 00:14:59,440 (Marge screams) 345 00:15:00,482 --> 00:15:02,234 Usurper! Usurper! 346 00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:03,402 Usurper! 347 00:15:04,486 --> 00:15:06,864 Don't mess with me. I've got jimmies! 348 00:15:06,947 --> 00:15:08,574 (screaming) 349 00:15:08,657 --> 00:15:10,868 I can only see a horrible rainbow. 350 00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:13,454 (glass shattering) 351 00:15:13,537 --> 00:15:14,496 (gasps) 352 00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:16,582 Shut up, Becky! 353 00:15:16,665 --> 00:15:19,418 There. I finally said it. 354 00:15:20,544 --> 00:15:22,129 (growling) 355 00:15:22,212 --> 00:15:23,130 (screaming) 356 00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:28,344 CLANCY: Drop the cone, sugar. 357 00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:29,511 (gunshot) 358 00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:30,846 Hmm. Whoopsie. 359 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,806 Take her away, boys. 360 00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:37,227 I thought you said the law was powerless. 361 00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:39,396 Powerless to help you, not punish you. 362 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,440 (slurps) Mmm. Earned my treat. 363 00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:43,233 This isn't over, Becky. 364 00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:44,568 I know where you live. 365 00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:46,737 My house! 366 00:15:52,576 --> 00:15:55,079 Poor Maggie. How many insanity hearings 367 00:15:55,162 --> 00:15:57,456 have you been to in your short little life? 368 00:15:57,539 --> 00:15:59,458 Mrs. Simpson, before we begin, 369 00:15:59,541 --> 00:16:02,586 I just want to assure you that this is not a trial. 370 00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:03,921 -Oh. -Aw... 371 00:16:04,004 --> 00:16:04,922 All right, it's a trial. 372 00:16:05,005 --> 00:16:06,340 -Yes! -Yes! 373 00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:08,258 Now, Marge, according to this, 374 00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:11,011 you recently went berserk in an ice cream parlor. 375 00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:12,221 Yes. 376 00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:14,640 And, Marge, did you ever have 377 00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:17,267 an unhealthy fixation on Ringo Starr? 378 00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:19,979 It was healthy. He reciprocated. 379 00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:22,064 He reciprocated! 380 00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:24,525 (mumbling) Please... 381 00:16:24,608 --> 00:16:27,069 -Please... -Excuse me, what are you doing? 382 00:16:28,112 --> 00:16:31,365 Oh, I was just praying to God that you'll find me sane. 383 00:16:31,448 --> 00:16:36,078 I see. And this "God," is he in this room right now? 384 00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:38,539 Oh, yes, he's kind of everywhere. 385 00:16:38,622 --> 00:16:40,290 -Hmm... -Mm-mm. 386 00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:42,835 Marge Simpson, you give us no choice 387 00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:44,378 but to declare you utterly... 388 00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:46,380 I'm not insane! 389 00:16:46,463 --> 00:16:47,798 You didn't let me finish. 390 00:16:47,881 --> 00:16:49,008 Insane! 391 00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:50,300 (gasps) 392 00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:51,593 (all gasp) 393 00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:52,928 Oh! 394 00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:00,436 Aah! 395 00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:01,770 I'm not insane. 396 00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,606 Run, Marge! Run! 397 00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:06,400 Pump those crazy legs! 398 00:17:07,651 --> 00:17:10,696 {\an8}Police say escaped mental patient Marge Simpson 399 00:17:10,779 --> 00:17:12,406 {\an8}could be anywhere, 400 00:17:12,489 --> 00:17:14,158 even here at Juggernauts, 401 00:17:14,241 --> 00:17:16,201 where it's wet t-shirt month. 402 00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:17,661 (waitresses cheering) 403 00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:19,496 But for now, this reporter prays 404 00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:21,707 that "Mad Marge" can be captured 405 00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:23,542 before she kills again. 406 00:17:23,625 --> 00:17:26,253 Kills again? She hasn't killed once. 407 00:17:26,336 --> 00:17:28,380 Shouldn't we be out there trying to find her? 408 00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:31,216 Don't worry, she'll show up here sooner or later 409 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:32,843 to finish off Becky. 410 00:17:32,926 --> 00:17:34,678 Then we'll have Mommy back. 411 00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:38,390 Hmm? Hmm? (gasps) 412 00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:42,644 (breathing heavily) 413 00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,271 (marching band music playing) 414 00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,251 (grunting) 415 00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:12,674 Come back! Those are prescription pants. 416 00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:14,760 Now, Ralphie, what are you going to do 417 00:18:14,843 --> 00:18:16,095 if you see Mrs. Simpson? 418 00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:18,055 Freeze, you crazy mommy! 419 00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:21,809 Attaboy, but you got to aim a little higher. 420 00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:23,977 There you go. That's a kill shot. 421 00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:26,313 Now, we've got a special guest. 422 00:18:26,396 --> 00:18:29,066 She just flew in from the cuckoo's nest 423 00:18:29,149 --> 00:18:31,568 and boy, is she crazy. 424 00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:34,029 Crazy Marge Simpson! 425 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,948 (laughing) Look at that. 426 00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:37,574 (imitating Marge) Hello, Krusty. 427 00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:38,951 (laughing) 428 00:18:39,284 --> 00:18:40,619 Oh, that's funny. 429 00:18:40,702 --> 00:18:42,246 So, Marge, 430 00:18:42,329 --> 00:18:45,124 who's your favorite Native American warrior? 431 00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:48,252 Crazy Horse, Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! 432 00:18:48,335 --> 00:18:50,546 (blubbering) No, no, no... 433 00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:52,381 All right, all right. Stop it. 434 00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:53,841 Oh, this bit's dying. 435 00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:55,759 Let's go to the Mad Marge dancers. 436 00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:59,763 (Russian music plays) 437 00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:04,143 -Too soon. -Oh, I really miss Mom. 438 00:19:04,226 --> 00:19:07,229 The kids are saying if you say "Bloody Margie" five times, 439 00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:09,815 she'll appear, but then she gouges your eyes out. 440 00:19:09,898 --> 00:19:12,276 I hear she mates with men, then eats them. 441 00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:15,946 I'm sure if Marge were here and not crazy, 442 00:19:16,029 --> 00:19:18,157 she'd be telling you two to do your homework 443 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:19,867 and you to finish washing the dog. 444 00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:21,493 (flies buzzing) 445 00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:23,245 (panting) 446 00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:29,293 Now, let's find out who this Becky really is. 447 00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:33,380 (gasps) 448 00:19:34,673 --> 00:19:36,091 (groans) 449 00:19:41,221 --> 00:19:42,931 I really should read the whole headline 450 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,224 before I react. 451 00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:49,146 Oh, my, I've been so unfair to Becky. 452 00:19:49,229 --> 00:19:50,814 Maybe I am insane. 453 00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:52,900 I mean, I am talking to myself. 454 00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:56,820 You are? Oh, I thought I'd made a friend. 455 00:20:01,325 --> 00:20:04,036 Becky, I want to apologize to you-- 456 00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:05,412 Usurper! 457 00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:13,337 Hyah! 458 00:20:15,756 --> 00:20:17,925 -Why you little... -BART: Cut! Cut! 459 00:20:18,008 --> 00:20:19,343 Mom, it's great to have you back, 460 00:20:19,426 --> 00:20:20,802 but you walked right into my shot. 461 00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:22,679 "Shot"? What... what are you... 462 00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:24,431 I hope we didn't scare you, Marge. 463 00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:27,142 Bart's just filming a music video for his class project. 464 00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:29,228 And I'm directing the "making of" video. 465 00:20:29,311 --> 00:20:30,938 Oh... 466 00:20:31,021 --> 00:20:31,939 Well, then, I guess there's 467 00:20:32,022 --> 00:20:34,524 a reasonable explanation for everything, 468 00:20:34,608 --> 00:20:37,861 except you cutting my brakes. 469 00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:40,697 Oh, about that. Uh, when I changed your oil, 470 00:20:40,781 --> 00:20:42,282 I may have drained your brake fluid. 471 00:20:42,366 --> 00:20:44,826 I didn't say anything because I thought you'd be mad. 472 00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:46,787 Oh, boy, my bad. 473 00:20:46,870 --> 00:20:49,581 Becky, I'm so sorry I accused you 474 00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:51,875 of trying to kill me and steal my family. 475 00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:53,669 Hey, no biggie. 476 00:20:53,752 --> 00:20:55,629 I was trying to steal your family. 477 00:20:55,712 --> 00:20:57,714 I even thought of a good place to bury you. 478 00:20:57,798 --> 00:20:59,758 But then I didn't have a shovel so I went to the hardware store 479 00:20:59,841 --> 00:21:01,051 and they have six different kinds, 480 00:21:01,134 --> 00:21:02,803 and I was, like, "later." 481 00:21:02,886 --> 00:21:04,846 Well, that's a relief, too, 482 00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:06,682 knowing I'm not crazy. 483 00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:09,268 So, I guess everything really worked out for the... 484 00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:11,520 -(Homer gasps) -Mom! 485 00:21:11,603 --> 00:21:14,773 -You monsters! You killed her! -No, they didn't. 486 00:21:14,856 --> 00:21:16,233 -(gasps) -Good lord! 487 00:21:16,316 --> 00:21:18,068 We put enough tranquilizers in there 488 00:21:18,151 --> 00:21:19,736 to take down Jonathan Winters. 489 00:21:19,820 --> 00:21:23,699 Oh, I've got too much to do to take a nap right now. 490 00:21:23,782 --> 00:21:25,993 Lisa, get Maggie out of that cage. 491 00:21:26,076 --> 00:21:27,995 And, Homer, since you're dressed for it, 492 00:21:28,078 --> 00:21:29,871 I got some "S&M" for ya, 493 00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:31,915 scrubbing and mopping. 494 00:21:31,999 --> 00:21:33,750 (laughing) 495 00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:35,252 (groans) 496 00:21:36,628 --> 00:21:37,838 Thank you. 497 00:21:44,052 --> 00:21:46,305 (theme music playing) 498 00:22:24,593 --> 00:22:26,428 -(murmuring) -Shh. 499 00:22:29,556 --> 00:22:31,558 {\an8}Captioned by Visual Data Media Services