1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,669 (theme music playing) 2 00:00:02,752 --> 00:00:06,548 CHORUS: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 3 00:00:16,933 --> 00:00:18,643 (bell ringing) 4 00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:25,108 (whistle blows) 5 00:00:29,946 --> 00:00:30,905 (beeping) 6 00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:37,662 (playing the blues) 7 00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:40,915 (jazzy solo) 8 00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:48,590 (chimes) 9 00:00:53,094 --> 00:00:54,054 (tires screeching) 10 00:00:58,975 --> 00:00:59,893 (honking horn) 11 00:01:04,355 --> 00:01:05,398 D'oh! 12 00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:06,733 (screaming) 13 00:01:06,816 --> 00:01:07,859 (tires screeching) 14 00:01:07,942 --> 00:01:10,862 (all grunting) 15 00:01:10,945 --> 00:01:11,905 (happy squeal) 16 00:01:21,706 --> 00:01:24,834 MAN (on TV) : Ha ha! Welcome back to Pigskin Preview! 17 00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:27,837 {\an8}-Denver/Green Bay-- Who do you like? -That's football, right? 18 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,297 {\an8}(laughing) 19 00:01:29,672 --> 00:01:31,674 {\an8}Well, I'm gonna take the Broncos in this game 20 00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:34,803 {\an8}'cause the Packers will be blinded by Jerry's tie. 21 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,640 {\an8}(chuckles) Tremendous. 22 00:01:38,723 --> 00:01:40,934 {\an8}I'm more worried about Al's jacket. 23 00:01:41,017 --> 00:01:43,645 {\an8}How many stations can you get on that thing? 24 00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:48,149 {\an8}All right. Listen. I am sick of your jokes about the wardrobe! 25 00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:51,194 {\an8}You people can dress yourselves! 26 00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:53,822 {\an8}(clears throat) Well, folks, he's got a point. 27 00:01:53,905 --> 00:01:57,951 {\an8}Uh, with all our unscripted horseplay, we sometimes don't think about- 28 00:01:58,034 --> 00:02:00,161 {\an8}Lenny, are you watching this? 29 00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:02,413 {\an8}LENNY: Yeah. They really hurt that guy's feelings. 30 00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:03,414 {\an8}I know! 31 00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:06,417 {\an8}-Ready for the circus, Homer? -Circus? 32 00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:10,213 {\an8}The Cirque de Puree. We've had tickets since Septembre. 33 00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:12,215 {\an8}But I want to watch Brett Favre! 34 00:02:12,298 --> 00:02:15,468 {\an8}Come on, Homer. They're only in town for eight months. 35 00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:18,638 {\an8}-Then they're gone. -(men laughing on TV) 36 00:02:18,721 --> 00:02:22,976 {\an8}Oh! I missed one of Jerry's zingers. Now I'll never catch up. 37 00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:25,395 Mmm! 38 00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:32,569 {\an8}Finally, a circus full of whimsy and wonder. 39 00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:35,280 {\an8}Oh, yeah. That's way better than fun and excitement. 40 00:02:35,363 --> 00:02:38,449 {\an8}As French Canadians, they don't believe in refunds 41 00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:40,743 {\an8}or exploiting animals for entertainment. 42 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:44,998 {\an8}Oh! I wanted to see 'em fire a gorilla out of a cannon. 43 00:02:45,081 --> 00:02:48,293 {\an8}Enjoy the show. For one day, we shall die. 44 00:02:50,086 --> 00:02:50,962 Ohh! 45 00:02:51,045 --> 00:02:52,297 (people applauding) 46 00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:57,427 Stop! Wait! Wait! Attendez! 47 00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:02,098 {\an8}I cannot get the lid off my jar of rainbows! 48 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:05,226 {\an8}Who will help me? You, sir? 49 00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:07,020 {\an8}But I cannot help you. 50 00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:10,899 {\an8}I am just a local merchant from, uh, this town. 51 00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:13,359 {\an8}Just smash it open! 52 00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:16,321 {\an8}Oh, you can do it if your heart is pure-- 53 00:03:16,404 --> 00:03:20,617 -or... purée. -(audience laughing) 54 00:03:22,118 --> 00:03:24,579 (all gasping) 55 00:03:26,789 --> 00:03:30,335 -(gasping) -(audience applauding) 56 00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:33,213 They always pick the guy with the wires. 57 00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:35,173 (audience laughing, applauding) 58 00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:38,801 Oh, look at those exotic positions. 59 00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:41,721 Watching those women is giving me ideas. 60 00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:44,724 (humming) 61 00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:45,850 (sighs) 62 00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:50,063 LISA: They made an elephant! 63 00:03:52,106 --> 00:03:55,151 It's hauntingly beautiful, isn't it? 64 00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:58,571 (whimpering) 65 00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:00,990 (wind howling) 66 00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:05,578 SIDESHOW MEL: A storm is coming! 67 00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:07,538 I feel it in my bone! 68 00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:09,040 Mesdames et messieurs, 69 00:04:09,123 --> 00:04:12,585 it appears the Cloud Goddess is ripe with rain babies. 70 00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:16,256 -We must run for our trucks! -(all clamoring) 71 00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:20,969 Oh, no, you don't! I paid full price for this freak show! 72 00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:23,221 Now, nourish the child within me! 73 00:04:23,304 --> 00:04:25,848 -Nourish! -(wind howling) 74 00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:31,771 Un, deux, trois! 75 00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:35,191 (all shouting) 76 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,944 MAN (on radio): Well, sir, we've got ourselves a classic nor'easter 77 00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:39,487 meeting a classic sou'wester. 78 00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:42,365 Overnight, expect rain turning to freezing rain, 79 00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:44,409 turning to sleet turning to snow... 80 00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:46,828 -and then melting in the summer. -Snow? 81 00:04:46,911 --> 00:04:48,246 Maybe they'll cancel school! 82 00:04:48,329 --> 00:04:50,123 Look. The sea captain's all hunkered down! 83 00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:54,544 Arr! Help. I was tied here by teenage pirates. 84 00:04:54,627 --> 00:04:55,670 (wind howling) 85 00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:02,260 MAN (on radio): The following schools are closed today, Shelbyville, Ogdenville. 86 00:05:02,343 --> 00:05:04,429 Ogdenville Tech, and Springfield Elementary... 87 00:05:04,512 --> 00:05:06,472 -(gasps) -My Dear Watson Detective School. 88 00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:08,099 Ohh! 89 00:05:08,182 --> 00:05:09,809 And lastly, Springfield Elementary School... 90 00:05:09,892 --> 00:05:10,977 -Yay! -Yay! 91 00:05:11,060 --> 00:05:13,396 -...is open. -(both groaning) 92 00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:17,358 And it's open season on savings at Springfield Menswear, which is closed. 93 00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:20,403 -Oh! Everyone's off but us. -Oh, stop. 94 00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:22,739 Your father and I don't get the day off. 95 00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:25,700 Lenny says we've got the day off! Yippee! 96 00:05:25,783 --> 00:05:27,744 (grunting) 97 00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:29,912 One snow angel coming up! 98 00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:31,289 (grunting) 99 00:05:31,789 --> 00:05:33,499 (giggles) Huh? 100 00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:35,918 Oh, why does that always happen? 101 00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:39,130 MAN (singing): ♪ Since we've no place to go ♪ 102 00:05:39,213 --> 00:05:40,423 (all shouting) 103 00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:42,467 ♪ Let it snow let it snow, let it snow ♪ 104 00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:45,470 Man. Everyone has a snow day but us. 105 00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:47,513 APU: Oh! They look wonderful! 106 00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:50,308 Ah! Yeah! (scatting) 107 00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:55,271 {\an8}-(Grampa chuckling) -Ah, yeah, Clancy. 108 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,482 Spell your name. (sighs) 109 00:05:57,565 --> 00:06:00,568 Uh, hey, Luke, could you shake out the last few drops for me? 110 00:06:00,651 --> 00:06:01,527 Yeah, no problem, Chief. 111 00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:04,572 {\an8}Seems like a waste of coffee, though. 112 00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:08,159 SKINNER: Children, I'm proud of you. 113 00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:10,536 Most of our students didn't bother to show up 114 00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:12,538 on this last day before Christmas break. 115 00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:16,250 But you've kept intact my Cal Ripken-like streak of school openage. 116 00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:17,877 Hey, where are the teachers? 117 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:21,047 Eh, their union just called an emergency caucus. 118 00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:25,009 (Latin beat): ♪ Caucus, caucus, caucus Caucus, caucus, caucus ♪ 119 00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:28,846 But we'll have the last laugh on those Johnny-Come-Not-Lies. 120 00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:32,600 We're gonna watch my favorite movie about a Grinch-y little character 121 00:06:32,683 --> 00:06:35,353 -who tries to steal Christmas. -(all exclaiming) 122 00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:43,569 Ho, ho, ho. What's that, Blitzen? 123 00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:46,781 Why, yes, it is Christmas Eve. 124 00:06:46,864 --> 00:06:48,908 I'm happy. 125 00:06:48,991 --> 00:06:51,994 (all snarling) 126 00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:58,751 -Oh! -(gasps) It's the Christmas hobgoblins! 127 00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:05,007 Ooh! (cries out) 128 00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:07,051 What the hell is this? 129 00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:10,763 (chuckling) It's classic mirth-making, is what it is. 130 00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:17,270 ♪ I will always be true ♪ 131 00:07:17,353 --> 00:07:21,858 ♪ Spend my days pitching woo to you ♪ 132 00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:24,944 Oh! He's been singing for two hours! 133 00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:27,447 This couldn't have less to do with Christmas. 134 00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:29,740 And I think that's a stagehand. 135 00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:33,828 ♪ And I love you, too ♪ 136 00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:36,747 ♪ I am you and you are you ♪ 137 00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:41,461 ♪ Oh, you and me together you can see ♪ 138 00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:45,006 Ha-ha! Next time get a DVD! 139 00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:48,926 This is a DVD! (grunting) 140 00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:51,179 Well, you won't get to see Santa's big sing-off 141 00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:54,515 but seeing as we're close to the usual dismissal time-- 142 00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:55,725 two, one-- 143 00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:57,768 -(bell ringing) -There it is. 144 00:07:57,852 --> 00:08:00,730 Take off and have a frank and productive holiday. 145 00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:02,565 (all cheering) 146 00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:03,941 (gasps) 147 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:07,320 -Oh, dear God! -(Lisa gasps) Principal Skinner! 148 00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:09,071 We're snowed in! 149 00:08:10,698 --> 00:08:13,910 -We're trapped in the school! -(all screaming) 150 00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:16,996 -We're gonna miss Christmas! -(all screaming) 151 00:08:17,079 --> 00:08:21,000 -I fixed the DVD. -(all screaming) 152 00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:28,049 KENT BROCKMAN: Roads closed. Pipes frozen. 153 00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:30,510 Albinos virtually invisible. 154 00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:32,678 The Weather Service has upgraded Springfield's blizzard 155 00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:36,557 from winter wonderland to a class-three kill storm. 156 00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:39,185 I don't like the sound of that "class-three." 157 00:08:39,268 --> 00:08:41,395 And where are the city's snowplows? 158 00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:43,814 Sold off to billionaire Montgomery Burns 159 00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:46,484 -in a veritable orgasm of poor planning. -(horn sounds) 160 00:08:46,567 --> 00:08:49,946 -He shoots! He scores! -(chuckles) Perfect form, sir. 161 00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:53,324 This is terrible! How will the kids get home? 162 00:08:53,407 --> 00:08:55,243 I don't know. Internet? 163 00:08:58,079 --> 00:09:00,206 Children, it seems the phone lines are down 164 00:09:00,289 --> 00:09:02,375 so I'm afraid we're stuck here for the duration. 165 00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:05,419 -CHILDREN: Aww! -But it's my kid's birthday. 166 00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:08,673 I'm doing a puzzle with Grandmama, and she'll finish without me. 167 00:09:08,756 --> 00:09:11,384 Yes, yes, yes. We all had plans. 168 00:09:11,467 --> 00:09:13,678 Except for me, ironically. I'm right where I want to be. 169 00:09:13,761 --> 00:09:16,180 I can cut a trail through the snow. I'm part Eskimo. 170 00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:20,017 I don't care if you're Kristi Yamaguchi. No one leaves the building. 171 00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:21,852 This stinks. We'll miss the Itchy and Scratchy 172 00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:23,271 where they finally kiss. 173 00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:27,441 I don't care if they're kissing Kristi Yamaguchi. You're not going home! 174 00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:30,778 -That's so unfair! -This blows. 175 00:09:30,861 --> 00:09:32,989 Skinner's the real Grinch! 176 00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:37,660 -(engine starts) -I'm all for rescuing the kids 177 00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:39,996 but I wish you hadn't sawed off my roof. 178 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:43,916 My car, your roof. It's only fair. 179 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,711 -B-- But it's my car. -Well, yeah. 180 00:09:46,794 --> 00:09:50,047 Hey, whatever happened to the plow from your old snowplow business? 181 00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:54,135 -I never had a snowplow business. -Sure, you did. "Mr. Plow." 182 00:09:54,218 --> 00:09:56,220 {\an8}You're wearing the jacket right now. 183 00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:58,889 {\an8}I think I know my own life, Ned. 184 00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:01,183 ♪ Call Mr. Plow That's my name ♪ 185 00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:03,311 ♪ That name again is Mr. Plow ♪ 186 00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:07,481 I'm so hungry. I want more. 187 00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:08,858 You heard the principal. 188 00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:11,736 Everyone gets one apple and a handful of relish! 189 00:10:11,819 --> 00:10:15,489 (gags, coughing) 190 00:10:15,573 --> 00:10:19,076 If you don't eat your relish, you're not getting any mayonnaise. 191 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:23,873 Screw this. The rest of you can stay here like dorks, but I'm going home. 192 00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:25,958 -(all cheering) -Go, Nelson! 193 00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:31,172 -(groans) -(all gasping) 194 00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:38,346 Well, I hope you've all learned something from Nelson's "headstrongedness." 195 00:10:38,429 --> 00:10:40,765 -And from now on-- -(chanting) We want out! 196 00:10:40,848 --> 00:10:43,851 -We want out! We want out! -Uh... 197 00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:47,980 -CHILDREN (chanting): We want out! -Yeesh! It's getting ugly out there. 198 00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:50,941 Mmm. Think, Skinner, think. 199 00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:54,111 What would Superintendent Chalmers do? 200 00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:56,614 -Skinner! -Eh, that's no help. 201 00:10:56,697 --> 00:11:00,868 Mmm. Ah! My old footlocker. 202 00:11:00,951 --> 00:11:03,788 (chuckles) Back in 'Nam, I could command respect. 203 00:11:03,871 --> 00:11:06,123 (helicopter blades whirring) 204 00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:09,335 Sarge, let's make a break for it while the guards are partying with Jane Fonda. 205 00:11:09,418 --> 00:11:13,464 Nope. Too dangerous. We're all gonna sit tight and reminisce about candy bars. 206 00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:17,385 Uh, well, uh, one time, I'm eating a candy bar at the beach 207 00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,428 and a girl starts taking off her bathing suit-- 208 00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:20,846 Get back to the candy bar! 209 00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:23,641 The hell with this. I'm gettin' outta here! 210 00:11:23,724 --> 00:11:25,142 -No, you fool! -(elephant trumpeting) 211 00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:26,852 (screaming) 212 00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:29,105 (shouting) 213 00:11:30,981 --> 00:11:33,693 That elephant ate my entire platoon. 214 00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:36,195 Well, I'm not gonna let it happen again! 215 00:11:36,278 --> 00:11:39,448 (all chattering, laughing) 216 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,492 -(door closes) -Children, stand down! 217 00:11:41,575 --> 00:11:44,078 -Huh? -I said, stand down! 218 00:11:44,161 --> 00:11:46,372 (confused chattering) 219 00:11:46,455 --> 00:11:47,748 I'm not joking, people. 220 00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:51,001 From now on, there will be no talking out of turn or leaving this room. 221 00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:52,837 -Willie? -Aye, sir! 222 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:57,091 -NELSON: This sucks! -Are you questioning my authority? 223 00:11:57,174 --> 00:11:58,175 Willie! 224 00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:01,679 (groans) Ow! My vest. 225 00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:03,889 Don't just stand there. Fight back. 226 00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:06,016 There aren't enough coat hooks to hold all of us! 227 00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:09,854 Actually there are. Five, 10, 15, 20-- Uh, can you two share a hook? 228 00:12:09,937 --> 00:12:11,731 -BOTH: Yes, sir. -We're fine then. 229 00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:12,648 (groans) 230 00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:16,068 -(thud) -Oh. 231 00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:21,115 -I think we hit something. -I hope it's Flanders. (chuckling) 232 00:12:21,198 --> 00:12:24,201 I'm just kidding! Hey, you're all right. 233 00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:27,621 {\an8}-(yawning) -(snoring) 234 00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:32,084 Ah, now, children, if you have to answer nature's call during the night, 235 00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:34,754 -use this bucket next to Bart's head. -Hey! 236 00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:36,380 All right. Lights out. 237 00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:37,715 (door closes) 238 00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:39,842 I'm tired of taking orders from G.I. Jerk! 239 00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:41,927 -I'm gonna tunnel out of here! -No, Bart. 240 00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:43,929 For all we know, hundreds of rescue workers 241 00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:45,765 are digging us out right now. 242 00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:49,059 {\an8}(sniffing, growling) 243 00:12:56,859 --> 00:12:58,986 ♪ I feel like making love ♪ 244 00:12:59,069 --> 00:13:01,781 ♪ Making love to you ♪ 245 00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:04,450 -(humming) -(crashing) 246 00:13:04,533 --> 00:13:06,786 Catchy song, all right. You really wrote it? 247 00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:09,663 Yeah. As a tribute to Princess Di. 248 00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:12,708 And Dodi. Because these days, princesses-- 249 00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:19,340 (groaning) We're trapped! 250 00:13:19,423 --> 00:13:21,383 (grunting) 251 00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:28,724 Mr. Army Man? I can't sleep without my Reggie Rabbit. 252 00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:31,727 -Is that some sort of plush novelty? -Yes, ma'am. 253 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:34,104 (groans) Well, here's a scouring pad. It's just as good. 254 00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:36,941 It's cold and hurt-y. 255 00:13:37,024 --> 00:13:39,276 (yawns) 256 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:40,528 Uh-- What the-- 257 00:13:43,572 --> 00:13:46,408 (gasps) A tunnel! (blows whistle) 258 00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,619 -(murmuring) -Bart's digging us out! 259 00:13:48,702 --> 00:13:52,706 -Not on my watch he's not! -Oh, no! 260 00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:54,834 I know it looks like the path to freedom. 261 00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:57,795 But one collapse, and presto-- you've got a snow casket. 262 00:13:57,878 --> 00:13:59,630 I was gonna put buttresses in. 263 00:13:59,713 --> 00:14:02,967 Gonna, wanna, shoulda. Willie, destroy it. 264 00:14:03,050 --> 00:14:06,053 (all protesting) 265 00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:08,347 He did do a bonny job, sir. 266 00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:13,435 Defying orders, eh? Well, I see you Scotsmen are thrifty with courage, too. 267 00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:15,104 OK, Skinner. 268 00:14:15,187 --> 00:14:18,858 That's the last time you'll slap your Willie around. 269 00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:22,278 -I quit! -Fine. I'll do the job myself. 270 00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:24,738 (grunting) 271 00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:28,200 Help! It's caving in! 272 00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:32,246 -Oh! -What's the problem, Seymour? Stuck? 273 00:14:32,329 --> 00:14:34,498 That's precisely the problem, and you know it. 274 00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:37,126 -Now, get me out of here! -What's that? 275 00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:40,838 -You want the pee bucket on your head? -No! You're twisting my words! 276 00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:45,384 BART: Come on! We're taking over the school! 277 00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:47,136 (all cheering) 278 00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:53,142 That's it! Cinch it up around the neck. 279 00:14:53,642 --> 00:14:56,979 (chokes) This is a gross misuse of school property. 280 00:14:57,062 --> 00:14:59,940 {\an8}-Where are the dodge balls? Ow! -(children cheering) 281 00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:01,817 {\an8}Ow! Ohh! 282 00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:04,028 {\an8}All right. That's it. 283 00:15:04,111 --> 00:15:07,781 {\an8}I'm writing all your names on the detention list in my mind. 284 00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:10,242 Silence, Seymour! We're in charge now. 285 00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:12,328 Your reign of fussiness is over. 286 00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:15,080 BART (on P.A.): Attention. The school is now under kid control. 287 00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:17,166 You are hereby ordered to go nuts! 288 00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:34,266 {\an8}Huh? 289 00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:39,480 -(engine revving) -Aw, stupid ice! 290 00:15:39,563 --> 00:15:41,941 I always knew I would die caked in something. 291 00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:45,736 Well, better turn off that engine before those fumes put us in tombs. 292 00:15:45,819 --> 00:15:48,072 Wait. Let's just leave it on... 293 00:15:48,155 --> 00:15:49,990 till we forget our troubles. 294 00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:52,284 Mm, sounds like a plan. 295 00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:54,578 (guttural groaning) 296 00:15:55,579 --> 00:15:58,123 I can't write this. It's a grammatical nightmare. 297 00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:01,377 -Mau! Didi mau! -I'm getting a cramp in my wrist! 298 00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:04,213 Oh, boo-hoo. After all the times I've done it, 299 00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:07,341 -my wrist sounds like a cement mixer. -(bones cracking) 300 00:16:07,424 --> 00:16:10,010 (grunting) 301 00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:13,806 -Ow! -Come on, Seymour. 302 00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:15,891 -Mau! Didi mau! -Ow! 303 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:19,353 I told you no one can climb a rope. It's physically impossible. 304 00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:22,398 What part of didi mau don't you understand? 305 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,694 Nelson, put that globe down! Milhouse, stay out of my desk! 306 00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:28,779 Jimbo, that's my Princey Award! 307 00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:31,198 Quiet, Principal Spinner! 308 00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,075 Whoa! 309 00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:34,952 Hey, I got Skinner's key card! 310 00:16:35,035 --> 00:16:37,413 We can finally see our permanent records! 311 00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:39,581 SKINNER: No! You can't go in there! 312 00:16:40,290 --> 00:16:43,002 (cheering) 313 00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:47,381 {\an8}"Underachiever and proud of it." How old is this thing? 314 00:16:47,464 --> 00:16:52,511 "Lisa is an outstanding student with a slight tendency toward know-it-all-ism"? 315 00:16:52,594 --> 00:16:55,389 (gasps) That's not even a word! 316 00:16:55,472 --> 00:16:57,808 Then we'll get rid of the record permanently! 317 00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:00,352 (grunting) 318 00:17:02,938 --> 00:17:03,897 (both gasp) 319 00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:06,316 {\an8}Hey, look how much Skinner makes. 320 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:10,112 -Twenty-five thousand dollars a year! -ALL: Wow! 321 00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:14,199 Let's see. He's 40 years old, times 25 grand. 322 00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:17,870 -Whoa! He's a millionaire! -Wow! 323 00:17:17,953 --> 00:17:19,997 I wasn't a principal when I was one! 324 00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:22,916 Plus, in the summer, he paints houses! 325 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,961 -He's a billionaire! -Wow! 326 00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,797 If I were a billionaire, why would I be living with my mother? 327 00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:30,674 (children laughing) 328 00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:33,093 Oh, they're just not responding to logic anymore. 329 00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:35,345 (sighs) I'll never win this alone. 330 00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:37,056 There's only one guy who can help me now. 331 00:17:39,683 --> 00:17:40,934 (chittering) 332 00:17:41,769 --> 00:17:44,063 -Look! I'm throwing paper! -(grunting) 333 00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:46,815 (mumbling) 334 00:17:49,109 --> 00:17:51,236 (chittering) 335 00:17:51,695 --> 00:17:53,238 SKINNER: You're my only hope, Nibbles. 336 00:17:58,619 --> 00:17:59,495 (grunting) 337 00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:04,083 Godspeed, Nibbles. Godspeed. 338 00:18:05,667 --> 00:18:08,128 -Aw, nuts. -(switch clicks) 339 00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:12,382 There you are! Falcon to Eagle. Have located bag-of-crap. 340 00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:13,634 Nelson, if you get me out of this, 341 00:18:13,717 --> 00:18:16,345 there's a hall monitor position coming open in the spring. 342 00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:18,180 I spit on your monitors! 343 00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:20,057 I know. That's why the position's available. 344 00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:22,017 (both snoring) 345 00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:25,562 -(Middle-Eastern music playing) -Huh? 346 00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:29,191 Marvelous! Marvelous! 347 00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:33,403 Enough! I grow weary of your sexually suggestive dancing. 348 00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:35,864 Bring me my ranch dressing hose! 349 00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:45,582 (grunting) Homer? Homer! 350 00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:50,337 -Homer, wake up! The car's filling with-- -I know. Ranch dressing. 351 00:18:51,755 --> 00:18:53,632 -(chittering) -A hamster ball! 352 00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:55,884 (gasps) Just like the one that saved Ezekiel! 353 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:58,137 (both breathing deeply) 354 00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:01,640 We're free! And we've got something to eat! 355 00:19:01,723 --> 00:19:02,599 -(chittering) -(gasps) 356 00:19:08,063 --> 00:19:11,066 -Whoo-hoo! -Now, let's go save those kids! 357 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:14,778 You're the camel! Hey, this car's got cruise control. 358 00:19:15,445 --> 00:19:16,405 School, please. 359 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,699 ♪ Dee-dee-dee da-da-dum ♪ 360 00:19:18,782 --> 00:19:21,368 Homer, that's not how it-- (screaming) 361 00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:28,000 It's happening. My horoscope was right! 362 00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:35,174 So long, Johnny Tremain. Your Newberry Award won't save you now! 363 00:19:35,257 --> 00:19:38,468 Not Huck Finn! I spent hours crossing out the sass-back! 364 00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:41,763 -(gasps) We're gonna crash! -Do you have air bags? 365 00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:44,308 No! The church opposes them for some reason! 366 00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:45,809 (Homer screaming) 367 00:19:47,394 --> 00:19:50,314 (both screaming) 368 00:19:56,236 --> 00:19:59,448 -What was that? -It sounded like a silo tipping over. 369 00:20:03,577 --> 00:20:05,245 Look! The snow's melting! 370 00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:10,375 With a little help from our friend, sodium chloride! 371 00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:12,878 (groaning) 372 00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:18,008 -(all cheering) -(Homer gasping) 373 00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:22,346 -Dad! -(groaning) 374 00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:31,313 (gasps) You did it, Nibbles! Now, chew through my ball sack. 375 00:20:31,396 --> 00:20:33,607 -Huh? -(snowmobile approaching) 376 00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:36,526 {\an8}-Skinner! -Oh! Superintendent Chalmers! 377 00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:39,529 What are you doing in that ridiculous duffel, Seymour? 378 00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:42,157 And is that burning literature I smell? 379 00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,910 Uh-- (stammes) Well, sir, I, uh-- 380 00:20:44,993 --> 00:20:48,538 There'd better be a good explanation for this. 381 00:20:48,622 --> 00:20:51,500 -There is, sir. -Ah! Then I'm happy. 382 00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:53,377 (horn honking) 383 00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:56,046 Bart, if there's one thing I'm good at... 384 00:20:56,129 --> 00:20:58,382 it's pretending things didn't happen. 385 00:20:58,465 --> 00:21:00,175 And I think this is one of those. 386 00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:02,552 -One of which? -Exactly. 387 00:21:02,636 --> 00:21:04,680 No, seriously. I wasn't listening. 388 00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:08,058 -One of those situations where-- -Gotcha! 389 00:21:08,141 --> 00:21:09,935 (laughs) 390 00:21:10,018 --> 00:21:14,314 Come on, kids. Let's leave this awful place and never come back. 391 00:21:15,983 --> 00:21:17,234 (bang) 392 00:21:17,317 --> 00:21:18,193 (coughs) 393 00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:20,070 Boy, that salt really ate through the car. 394 00:21:20,153 --> 00:21:23,073 -And the exhaust pipe is leaking. -Wha-- 395 00:21:23,156 --> 00:21:28,078 And furthermore-- (braying) 396 00:21:28,161 --> 00:21:30,539 Ignore her, Effendi. We have each other. 397 00:21:30,622 --> 00:21:33,041 -Oh, baby. -Aah! 398 00:21:34,501 --> 00:21:36,628 HOMER: No use struggling, my beloved Shelamela. 399 00:21:36,712 --> 00:21:38,880 Merry Christmas from the Simpsons! 400 00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:40,716 (braying) 401 00:21:40,799 --> 00:21:43,302 (braying continues) 402 00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:49,850 (theme music playing) 403 00:22:26,178 --> 00:22:28,263 -(murmuring) -Shh! 404 00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:33,185 {\an8}Captioned by Visual Data Media Services