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(theme music playing)
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CHORUS: ♪ The Simpsons ♪
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(bell ringing)
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(whistle blows)
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(beeping)
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(playing the blues)
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(tires screeching)
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(honking)
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(tires screeching)
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D'oh! (screams)
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(tires screeching)
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(screams)
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{\an8}(whistling)
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{\an8}(shrieks)
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{\an8}(laughs)
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{\an8}(shrieks)
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{\an8}(laughs)
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{\an8}Cool.
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{\an8}(Homer shrieking)
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{\an8}Hmm.
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{\an8}(Homer shrieking to the tune
of "Mary Had a Little Lamb")
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{\an8}(laughs)
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{\an8}Stop that! And get ready.
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{\an8}We're going to the old folks' talent show.
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{\an8}Now, get washed up.
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{\an8}With pleasure.
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{\an8}(Homer shrieking Beethoven's
Fifth Symphony)
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{\an8}(all laughing)
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{\an8}You ever notice that after dialysis
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{\an8}you always get the munchies?
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{\an8}(all laughing)
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{\an8}He's saying the stuff we all forgot.
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{\an8}And you know what I can't open?
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{\an8}Cabinets.
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{\an8}Can he say that?
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{\an8}You know what else scares me?
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{\an8}Everything.
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{\an8}("Sabre Dance" playing)
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{\an8}Get that one.
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{\an8}Faster! You gotta have time
for the other ones.
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Oh, good.
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Oh, no, that one's slowing down!
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Oh, good.
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Oh, that one's wobbling!
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Got that before I even said it.
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♪ What's new, pussycat? ♪
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{\an8}-(bones cracking)
-♪ Ow-ow-ow-ow ♪
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{\an8}♪ What's new, pussycat? ♪
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{\an8}♪ Ow, God, no! ♪
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{\an8}Wasn't he great, folks?
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{\an8}Now, all the the contestants
are going to receive
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{\an8}extra servings of honey mush.
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{\an8}But there can only be one winner
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{\an8}and, uh, since Abe's already
standing here, what the heck?
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{\an8}Wow! A free auto.
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{\an8}No, keep reading.
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{\an8}GRAMPA SIMPSON: Oh.
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{\an8}Hey, let's get this down
to the funeral home
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{\an8}before they try to back out.
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{\an8}Hmm.
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{\an8}Well, this autopsy coupon
appears to be valid.
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{\an8}What other funerary services
may we provide
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{\an8}for the pre-deceased?
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{\an8}Oh, the whole deal. Coffin,
tombstone, anti-stink spray.
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{\an8}Sir, we prefer the term
"casket" to "coffin"
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{\an8}and "monument" to "tombstone."
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We have all the leading brands
of anti-stink spray.
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HOMER (chuckles): What funny names.
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(imitating speeding car)
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He's heading into Dead Man's Curve!
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Aah! Get me out of here!
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(chuckling)
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Oh, the living.
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{\an8}Well, fortunately, this model features
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{\an8}the "CadavaCam."
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(grunting)
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(chuckles)
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Look at him go.
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That thing got picture-in-picture?
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Of course. This is the "Contempo."
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Aw, geez.
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How come they never call
traveling anymore?
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This is the deluxe area.
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The caskets are buried
in unused virgin graves
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the monuments are completely self-cleaning
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and there is an optional
"weeping widow" service.
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(sobbing) Wally! Wally! Wally!
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Irving! Oh, Irving!
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Oh, bury me over here! Please?
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Whoa, whoa.
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This is getting kind of pricey.
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Sir, what lies beyond
this life is a mystery,
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but we do know for sure
that God prefers people
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who travel in style.
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Hear that?
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If you cheapskate me into hell
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I'll haunt you good.
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Imagine this when
you're sitting on the john.
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(mumbling)
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OK!
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(typewriter keys clacking)
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OK, with mole insurance,
you total comes to $17,000.
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What? Oh!
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Or you could just toss him in the woods
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and let the wolves carry him off.
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It's really up to you.
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Mr. Salesman?
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Yes?
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We're going to go with the wolves.
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(growling)
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Beat it.
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(whimpering)
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Dad, I love you this much,
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but that's just under $900.
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I wish I could go $17,000, but...
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Mm... Mm...
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Sir, if I may.
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Think of it an investment in extravagance.
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The Mauso-palooza can be seen from space.
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{\an8}It will consume as much cement
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{\an8}as a regulation-size tennis court.
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Tennis court, eh?
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Oh, I can't believe
we went through all that
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just to wind up with a tennis court.
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I'll bet you didn't see that coming.
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You don't care what happens
to me when I die.
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Of course I do, Dad.
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Oh, and if it were up to me
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you wouldn't die at all,
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but try telling that
to Killy McGee up there.
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(tapping sounds)
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Ooh. What on Earth are you doing?
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Practising tennis.
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That's tennis? Oh!
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Then what's the one where the chicks whale
on each other?
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Foxy boxing?
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Yes! That's what I wanted!
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Oh! (sobbing)
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"And finally, make sure
the net is tight and springy."
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-(grunts)
-(barking)
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(howling)
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That seems about right.
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You know, a tennis court
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can really make your house look classy.
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I hear Mel Brooks has one.
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I mean, Sir Mel Brooks.
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And it's bad news for the gophers.
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(muffled chattering)
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And it's going to do wonders
for our social life.
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Yeah, it'd be nice
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to entertain friends and have people over.
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Hey, you got a tennis court?
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Keep walking, Flanders.
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Will do.
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Faster.
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(grunts)
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(grunting)
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(all grunting)
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Sorry. I grunted way too early.
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We win again.
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Hey, this was a lot of fun, guys.
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Yeah, we never knew nobody
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with their own tennis rink.
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So what happens now?
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Is the food free, or do we pay someone?
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Of course not.
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They send you a bill.
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Well, that's why I asked.
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That's how you learn,
by asking, you dumbass.
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(both grunting)
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Can you believe it?
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Kent Brockman playing on our court.
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BROCKMAN: Match point.
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And how about that Stephanie
the weather girl?
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(flirtatious growl)
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-Homer, ball.
-(grunting)
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Oh!
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Ha-ha! That's game, set and match to us.
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But the real winners here
are Marge's hors d'oeuvres.
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Whoa, how do you come up
with such witty remarks?
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{\an8}-(chuckle) Well...
-(static over ear piece)
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MAN: Come on, come on. Hurry up.
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(typewriter keys clacking)
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"I guess you could say
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It's my racket."
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I guess you could say I'm Iraqi.
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{\an8}(gasps) Get off my property.
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So from now on
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all hats are banned from the school.
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Even bonnets?
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Especially bonnets.
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I've had it with that school.
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-(doorbell ringing)
-Door.
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(humming)
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(gasping) Chief Wiggum.
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Are you here to make a bust of some kind?
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00:08:32,970 --> 00:08:35,806
No, we're just, uh...
checking to make sure
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you're having a crime-free morning.
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Oh, as far as I know.
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You know what would be a real crime?
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What's that, Lou?
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Uh, letting that tennis court go to waste.
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Would you boys like to play tennis?
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Why, yes. Yes, we would.
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OK. We'll be right out.
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Let's roll, Lou.
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(humming)
208
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Take it, Lou.
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00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:57,203
(Lou humming)
210
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Huh?
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00:08:59,455 --> 00:09:01,916
Well, hello, Marge.
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00:09:01,999 --> 00:09:03,751
Lovely day for tennis, eh?
213
00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:05,378
I thought you had your own court.
214
00:09:05,461 --> 00:09:08,464
He did, but he had it converted
into a human chessboard.
215
00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:12,009
Hey, Burns has been gone for a while.
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00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:13,469
Let's make a run for it.
217
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:14,679
Come back, fools!
218
00:09:14,762 --> 00:09:15,721
Protect me.
219
00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:17,640
(grunts)
220
00:09:18,766 --> 00:09:19,809
Ah.
221
00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:23,020
Hey, check it out.
222
00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:24,564
I'm surfing the net.
223
00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:25,898
(laughter)
224
00:09:27,441 --> 00:09:29,318
His clowning around is putting me at ease.
225
00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:33,030
No.
226
00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:34,282
Yes! We win again.
227
00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:36,158
Will you get serious, Homer?
228
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:38,035
I'd like to win at least once.
229
00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:40,913
Come on, Marge, all sports have
230
00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:42,623
their lovable clowns.
231
00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:45,876
John Rocker, O.J. Simpson, Dorf.
232
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:46,877
(Marge grunts)
233
00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:48,963
Hey, Homer. Here's a bloopie for you.
234
00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:50,756
I've got it.
235
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,133
It's in the bag.
236
00:09:52,466 --> 00:09:54,051
Ow!
237
00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,052
-(laughter)
-(groaning)
238
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:56,804
Oh, no!
239
00:09:57,221 --> 00:09:58,139
(sighing)
240
00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:02,643
Hey Chief, we're going to bust up that
crackhouse tonight.
241
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:03,978
We did that last night.
242
00:10:04,061 --> 00:10:05,813
Yeah, but this time
we got the right address.
243
00:10:05,896 --> 00:10:07,315
-Uh, you coming?
-Well, I'd love to, Lou,
244
00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:09,692
but, uh, I'm playing tennis
at the Simpsons' again.
245
00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:12,528
Ooh, Maggie, are your ears burning?
246
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:13,863
The Simpsons?
247
00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:16,073
You mean the L.A. Clippers
of backyard tennis?
248
00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:19,619
(giggles): Yeah, they're easier to beat
than a suspect in shackles.
249
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,996
Pretty easy to beat
a suspect in shackles, Chief.
250
00:10:22,079 --> 00:10:23,205
Well, that's the joke, Lou.
251
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:25,916
It's on the Simpsons
and their easy beatability.
252
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,043
(laughter)
253
00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:29,045
-(gasps)
-(laughter continues)
254
00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:32,089
I think they enjoy being humiliated.
255
00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:35,885
I don't know what's sadder about
the Simpsons
256
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:38,804
the fact that we mock them
or that they shall never know.
257
00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:39,764
(exclaims)
258
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:42,308
SIDESHOW MEL: Never, ever, ever.
259
00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:44,727
-Ever.
-(gasps)
260
00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:46,228
(sighs)
261
00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:51,025
Do... I... have... cooties?
262
00:10:51,108 --> 00:10:52,109
"No."
263
00:10:52,568 --> 00:10:54,945
Ah, this home testing kit
saved me a fortune.
264
00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:58,199
You'll never guess what I heard
in the supermarket today.
265
00:10:58,282 --> 00:11:01,369
I found out we're the laughing stock
of the town.
266
00:11:01,452 --> 00:11:03,704
Oh, well, that's bad news
for Dingbat Charlie.
267
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,456
He's gonna be crushed.
268
00:11:05,539 --> 00:11:09,126
I thought our tennis court was bringing us
a little respectability.
269
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:11,712
Instead, people make fun of our lousiness.
270
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:13,923
OK. Now, some of that is me.
271
00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:15,966
All of that is you.
272
00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:18,219
You've gotta take this more seriously.
273
00:11:18,302 --> 00:11:19,804
OK, honey.
274
00:11:19,887 --> 00:11:21,681
I can see this means a lot to you.
275
00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:25,726
I'll practice till my elbow
is swollen and discolored.
276
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:28,062
That's all I ask.
277
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:31,273
(grunting)
278
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:35,569
No. It's a smooth motion.
279
00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:37,947
You follow through with your racket.
280
00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:39,073
(grunting)
281
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:41,784
Uh-oh.
282
00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:43,369
(explosion)
283
00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:46,163
You know, this is such a beautiful day.
284
00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:48,708
I don't know why we don't
operate outside more often.
285
00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:49,667
(monitor flatlining)
286
00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:53,379
Time of death, 10:15.
287
00:11:53,462 --> 00:11:54,755
(laughing)
288
00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:01,846
Good news, honey.
289
00:12:01,929 --> 00:12:04,807
I found a way to prove
to the town we're not losers.
290
00:12:05,182 --> 00:12:07,351
I entered us in a doubles tournament.
291
00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:10,062
What? We're not ready to compete.
292
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,230
Don't worry.
293
00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:13,190
The tournament's not till tomorrow.
294
00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:15,651
OK, get ready for the serve.
295
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:17,445
(grunting)
296
00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:20,906
Get them off! Get them off!
297
00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:22,074
How embarrassing.
298
00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:24,869
You take over, Bart.
299
00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:28,748
Lisa! Lisa, beer me.
300
00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:31,083
I'll be right out, honey.
301
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:33,377
Oh, that's OK. Bart's doing fine.
302
00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:34,879
You just have another beer.
303
00:12:34,962 --> 00:12:37,256
Now, that's the kind
of nagging I can live with.
304
00:12:37,339 --> 00:12:40,259
So Barney's, like,
"You're on your own, dude."
305
00:12:40,342 --> 00:12:42,219
And I'm, like, "Not even."
306
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:44,680
I don't know what this has
to do with the Civil War.
307
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:45,931
I'm getting to that.
308
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:48,017
(both grunting)
309
00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:53,397
Lookin' good, honey.
310
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:55,858
I think you and I might just win
this tournament dealie.
311
00:12:56,984 --> 00:12:58,778
Hey, Bart.
312
00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:01,280
Yeah, you've got your Daddy's hustle.
313
00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:04,992
Too busy to reply, huh?
314
00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:06,952
I know how that goes.
315
00:13:07,995 --> 00:13:10,498
Well, I think I'll go lay out
my clothes for the tournament.
316
00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:13,042
(humming)
317
00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:16,587
Perfect.
318
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:21,717
(happily humming)
319
00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:24,929
Well, I'm ready for the big tournament.
320
00:13:26,013 --> 00:13:27,139
Hey there, son.
321
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:28,682
Oh, hi, Dad.
322
00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:31,393
With that little outfit on,
everyone's going to think
323
00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:32,978
you're playing in the tournament.
324
00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:34,271
I am playing in the tournament.
325
00:13:35,147 --> 00:13:37,608
It's going to be tough without a partner.
326
00:13:37,691 --> 00:13:39,819
{\an8}-I've got a partner.
-Well, good for you.
327
00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:40,903
Anyone I know?
328
00:13:40,986 --> 00:13:42,238
Yeah, you know her.
329
00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:45,282
Oh. Hello, Homer.
330
00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:46,992
Good morning, partner.
331
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:50,621
Um... there's something I should tell you.
332
00:13:50,704 --> 00:13:53,457
The name of Bart's partner? I'm all ears.
333
00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:55,376
Well, actually...
334
00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:59,463
the name of Bart's partner... is... um...
335
00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:01,131
Yes, darling?
336
00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:03,133
I'm Bart's partner.
337
00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:04,468
No. No, no. no.
338
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:06,011
You're my partner.
339
00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:08,973
{\an8}Dude, I think the lady's
made her decision.
340
00:14:09,056 --> 00:14:10,140
I'm sorry, Homie.
341
00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:12,434
We'll talk about it later, OK?
342
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:14,311
No!
343
00:14:19,608 --> 00:14:20,693
Traitors!
344
00:14:20,776 --> 00:14:22,152
-(glass shattering)
-(tires screeching)
345
00:14:22,236 --> 00:14:23,445
Uh-oh.
346
00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:25,656
I don't think they saw me.
347
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:29,410
I'm going to put my trophy on the mantle.
348
00:14:29,493 --> 00:14:30,411
How about you?
349
00:14:30,494 --> 00:14:32,413
I was thinking mantle, too.
350
00:14:32,496 --> 00:14:34,915
Talk about being on the same wavelength.
351
00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:39,461
HOMER: Hello, Marge.
352
00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:40,462
Hello, Bart.
353
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,548
How are the tennis partners?
354
00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:46,051
Oh, Homie, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings.
(sighing)
355
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:47,303
Don't touch me.
356
00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:49,388
Your hands feel like salad tongs.
357
00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:51,682
I just wanted to win for once.
358
00:14:51,765 --> 00:14:54,351
Please, don't take it
as a threat to your manhood.
359
00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:55,436
(Homer gasps)
360
00:14:55,519 --> 00:14:57,521
My manhood? I never thought of that!
361
00:14:57,605 --> 00:14:58,689
We were good, Dad.
362
00:14:58,772 --> 00:15:00,774
They asked us to play
in the Krusty Klassic.
363
00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:01,984
It's for charity.
364
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:04,737
It benefits victims of balcony collapse.
365
00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:06,739
We could wipe out B.C. in our lifetime.
366
00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:08,407
I don't care about B.C.
367
00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:12,828
I care about M.E.-- my enjoyment.
368
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:15,164
(sobbing)
369
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:19,793
It's obvious what's happening.
370
00:15:19,877 --> 00:15:23,631
I'm being replaced by a younger
more in-your-face version of me.
371
00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:26,967
Dad, you're just going through
a classic Oedipal anxiety.
372
00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:29,261
You remember the story
of Oedipus, don't you?
373
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:32,848
Hmm. Maybe five bucks
would refresh my memory.
374
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:36,477
(sighs) Oedipus killed his father
and married his mother.
375
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:38,729
Ugh! Who pays for that wedding?
376
00:15:38,812 --> 00:15:41,440
I'm just saying
you feel threatened by Bart
377
00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:43,025
but it's all in your head.
378
00:15:43,108 --> 00:15:44,026
You're right.
379
00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:46,278
But just to be safe,
maybe I should chain him up.
380
00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:48,113
Dad, I think you're overreacting.
381
00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:49,698
I think you're underreacting.
382
00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:50,783
This session's over.
383
00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:52,159
This session's under.
384
00:15:52,242 --> 00:15:53,160
Good-bye.
385
00:15:53,243 --> 00:15:54,244
Bad-bye.
386
00:15:56,580 --> 00:15:58,040
(moaning)
387
00:15:58,123 --> 00:16:01,460
No! No! Stay away from my wife, Bart!
388
00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:09,385
Darling, you're so much handsomer
389
00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:11,303
than my first husband.
390
00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:14,640
I may have the looks,
but he's the trophy husband.
391
00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:16,266
(laughs)
392
00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:17,267
{\an8}He thought that trip
393
00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:20,062
{\an8}to the guillotine factory was just for fun
394
00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:22,564
{\an8}but it was the perfect place to shoot him.
395
00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:24,191
(gasping)
396
00:16:24,274 --> 00:16:25,192
Ah! That's the guy.
397
00:16:25,275 --> 00:16:27,152
That's the guy from my dream.
398
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:30,280
Go ahead and smile, smart guy.
399
00:16:30,364 --> 00:16:33,742
I'm going to mop you up like turkey gravy.
400
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:40,374
Are you sure you want me
to be your doubles partner?
401
00:16:40,457 --> 00:16:42,001
Absolutely, sweetie.
402
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:44,545
And you're not doing it out of spite?
403
00:16:44,628 --> 00:16:46,005
(chuckling): No, of course not.
404
00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:48,048
Now, aim for your mother's heart.
405
00:16:48,465 --> 00:16:49,383
(Lisa exclaims)
406
00:16:49,466 --> 00:16:51,385
Dad, I don't want to enter the tournament
407
00:16:51,468 --> 00:16:52,720
just to hurt Mom.
408
00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:54,138
Oh, come on.
409
00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:55,597
You've been gunning for Queen Bee
410
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:57,599
ever since you buzzed into this hive.
411
00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,059
Now, serve.
412
00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:00,185
(grunts)
413
00:17:01,645 --> 00:17:02,771
MARGE: Lisa!
414
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,815
Did you make that awful effigy?
415
00:17:04,898 --> 00:17:06,400
Hey, leave my teammate alone.
416
00:17:06,483 --> 00:17:08,318
Lisa's your teammate?
417
00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:09,820
(laughs)
418
00:17:09,903 --> 00:17:12,239
What's so funny? I'm better than you.
419
00:17:12,322 --> 00:17:14,825
Now, Lisa, you know that's not true.
420
00:17:14,908 --> 00:17:15,951
How would you know?
421
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,619
Your backhand looks like a rusty gate.
422
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:19,038
You little...
423
00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:20,414
Come on, Bart.
424
00:17:20,497 --> 00:17:21,498
Babies.
425
00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:24,334
(all eating noisily)
426
00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:32,051
Telegram for Lisa Simpson.
427
00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:32,968
(mimicking envelope opening)
428
00:17:33,510 --> 00:17:34,595
Don't listen. It's a trick.
429
00:17:34,678 --> 00:17:36,388
"Dear Lisa-- Psych!
430
00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:37,389
Psych, psych, psych!
431
00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:38,432
Signed, Super-psych."
432
00:17:38,515 --> 00:17:40,434
I think he's trying to psych you out.
433
00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:43,437
Look, we're all trying to have dinner
434
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:45,981
so why don't we just--
Psych! Psych! Psych!
435
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:51,403
(players grunting)
436
00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:54,364
(ballboys groaning)
437
00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:56,492
BOTH: Ooh.
438
00:17:57,242 --> 00:17:58,118
(ballboys groaning)
439
00:17:58,535 --> 00:18:01,205
Ooh, where did you buy
that novelty hand, sir?
440
00:18:01,997 --> 00:18:04,917
This? Oh, it's just fluid collecting.
441
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,126
(grunts)
442
00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:09,797
Hey, hey! What do you think, folks?
443
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:13,467
I hope I don't get arrested
for racket-earring.
444
00:18:13,550 --> 00:18:15,094
(weak laughter)
445
00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:17,304
Eh, what do you want?
446
00:18:17,387 --> 00:18:19,765
I'm not going to do
"A" material for charity.
447
00:18:20,557 --> 00:18:23,102
And after all, that is why we're here.
448
00:18:24,686 --> 00:18:27,356
Well, look who's here.
449
00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:29,316
You two are going down.
450
00:18:29,399 --> 00:18:30,359
No, we're not.
451
00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:31,777
You're going down.
452
00:18:33,695 --> 00:18:35,948
Did you hear that?
She said we're going down.
453
00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:38,242
All we can do is our very best.
454
00:18:38,325 --> 00:18:39,993
Oh, that's loser talk!
455
00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:41,703
(sobbing)
456
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:43,163
Now I'd like to introduce
457
00:18:43,247 --> 00:18:46,834
two of the tennis world's
most unbeatable players.
458
00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:49,795
Venus and Serena Williams.
459
00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:52,506
Unbeatable, eh?
460
00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:54,591
Comin' through! Hey, hi, Otto.
461
00:18:57,594 --> 00:18:58,804
Sorry.
462
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:00,139
(laughing)
463
00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:02,558
-What are you doing?
-That's our dad's seat.
464
00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:04,017
Hey, that's great.
465
00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:05,894
Listen, I need a new doubles partner.
466
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:08,147
My little girl's a lead weight.
467
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:10,274
You're dumping your own daughter?
468
00:19:10,357 --> 00:19:12,901
Yeah, but only to crush my wife and son.
469
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,111
That's horrible!
470
00:19:14,194 --> 00:19:15,529
Yeah, that's pretty low.
471
00:19:15,612 --> 00:19:18,657
-Hmm, you seem less disgusted. Let's go.
-(exclaims)
472
00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:21,326
Our next match is
Marge and Bart Simpson...
473
00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:22,369
(applause)
474
00:19:22,452 --> 00:19:23,620
HOMER: Boo!
475
00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:25,539
...versus Homer and Lisa--
476
00:19:26,623 --> 00:19:29,418
Sorry, that's Homer and Venus Simpson.
477
00:19:29,501 --> 00:19:31,211
What? Huh?
478
00:19:31,795 --> 00:19:33,088
Venus Simpson?
479
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,840
You're replacing me?
480
00:19:34,923 --> 00:19:38,051
Now, Lisa, "dumping" is such a harsh word.
481
00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:40,596
Let's just say I'm replacing you.
482
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:42,055
(Lisa sighs)
483
00:19:49,813 --> 00:19:51,023
WIGGUM: 15-love.
484
00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:54,193
{\an8}Once again, I'm outraged
by this last-minute switch.
485
00:19:54,276 --> 00:19:55,569
We all got problems.
486
00:19:55,652 --> 00:19:57,279
I dropped my cookie.
487
00:19:57,988 --> 00:19:59,031
(gun cocks)
488
00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:00,574
You sure you want to risk it?
489
00:20:00,657 --> 00:20:02,576
It's totally unfair for one side to have
490
00:20:02,659 --> 00:20:04,453
a professional player.
491
00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:06,872
All right, all right,
you guys can have Serena.
492
00:20:07,581 --> 00:20:09,583
I just ate a personal pizza.
493
00:20:09,666 --> 00:20:11,251
(groans)
494
00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:12,669
Oh, you're dumping me.
495
00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:15,339
Honey, I'll make it up to you
in bottle rockets.
496
00:20:15,422 --> 00:20:16,340
(sighing)
497
00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:20,177
OK, swing.
498
00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:22,054
Run! Hit the thing.
499
00:20:22,137 --> 00:20:23,138
Now run across the...
500
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:24,348
-(grunts)
-Yeah.
501
00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:26,600
Whoopsie.
502
00:20:26,683 --> 00:20:29,144
Marge, how bad do you want to win?
503
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,230
Oh. Oh, I'd do anything.
504
00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:32,731
Good. Yo, Pete!
505
00:20:32,814 --> 00:20:33,815
Pete Sampras!
506
00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:35,108
Get over here!
507
00:20:35,192 --> 00:20:36,485
Yes! I'm in!
508
00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:37,736
(audience applauding)
509
00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:41,615
(laughing)
510
00:20:42,157 --> 00:20:44,576
Everybody's been dumped but me!
511
00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:46,536
I'm undumpable!
512
00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:47,496
ANDRE AGASSI: Yoink!
513
00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:48,747
My tennis stick!
514
00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:49,748
Who are you?
515
00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:50,999
I'm Andre Agassi.
516
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:52,084
The wrestler?
517
00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:54,211
Come on, tubby, get off the court.
518
00:20:54,294 --> 00:20:55,420
Scat!
519
00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:56,755
Come on. Let's play.
520
00:20:56,838 --> 00:20:58,548
I've got to tape a Ho-Hos commercial.
521
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:06,932
Which one am I? Serena or Venus?
522
00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:09,101
You're Andre. I'm Serena.
523
00:21:09,184 --> 00:21:11,436
Ha-ha-ha! You're a girl!
524
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:13,563
Why don't we stop this nonsense?
525
00:21:13,647 --> 00:21:15,315
I'm not mad anymore.
526
00:21:15,399 --> 00:21:16,483
Me, neither.
527
00:21:16,566 --> 00:21:19,444
I'm just enjoying some world-class tennis.
528
00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:22,406
You know, there's a lesson here
for all of us.
529
00:21:22,489 --> 00:21:25,659
It's better to watch stuff
than to do stuff.
530
00:21:25,742 --> 00:21:26,994
Amen.
531
00:21:27,077 --> 00:21:28,453
After the tournament
532
00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:31,039
let's go out for a nice family dinner.
533
00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:32,374
(chuckling)
534
00:21:32,457 --> 00:21:34,668
Courtesy of Pete Sampras.
535
00:21:34,751 --> 00:21:35,669
D'oh!
536
00:21:35,752 --> 00:21:36,670
Sorry.
537
00:21:37,337 --> 00:21:39,464
(chuckles) Sucker.
538
00:21:43,719 --> 00:21:44,761
(theme music playing)
539
00:22:24,676 --> 00:22:25,594
Shh!
540
00:22:28,930 --> 00:22:30,932
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