1 00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:05,506 The Simpsons. 2 00:00:06,089 --> 00:00:07,216 Pray Anything. 3 00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:01,332 Dad, it's so enlightened of you to take us to a WNBA game. 4 00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:05,649 - Yeah. Well, nachos are nachos. - Over here. Over here. 5 00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:08,589 Whoa, check out Janeane Giraffalo. 6 00:01:09,111 --> 00:01:12,479 That's Fung Pang-Li, the 7-foot sensation from Szechwan. 7 00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:15,753 Szechwan, eh? No wonder she's so spicy. 8 00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:21,060 Bart, you're a little young to be growling at 7-foot Chinese ladies. 9 00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:23,239 Fine. I'll go back to being bored. 10 00:01:24,126 --> 00:01:28,224 Wow, I wonder what it would be like to be with a woman like that. 11 00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:34,251 Woo! 12 00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:38,974 Far-fetched... 13 00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:44,625 Look, that's Lisa Leslie. 14 00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:48,869 She showed little girls everywhere that they can grow up to be 6'5". 15 00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:52,550 Lisa Leslie, you got game. 16 00:01:53,197 --> 00:01:55,282 I think you mean I have game. 17 00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,607 - Try to speak correctly. - You go, girl. 18 00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:01,851 Yes, I will depart lest your bad grammar rub off on me. 19 00:02:02,748 --> 00:02:05,824 Now, here's something for the men to dribble over. 20 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,431 Our mascot, Swish. 21 00:02:13,759 --> 00:02:15,771 Oh, I can see her logo and everything. 22 00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:21,902 Ha, ha. Hey, come back. Hey, I love you. 23 00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:23,602 - Hey. - Oh. 24 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:28,075 Oh, darn it. Swish was everything I'm not. 25 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:29,816 Put the head back on. 26 00:02:30,359 --> 00:02:34,206 And now it's time for our $50,000 half-court shot. 27 00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:37,439 - The winning fan is in section A. - Yes. 28 00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:39,336 - Row 12. - Yes. 29 00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:41,901 - Seat 16. - Woo-hoo! 30 00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:45,645 Praise the Lord. My seat has scored. 31 00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:50,806 Dad, this ticket is for tomorrow's WNFL game. 32 00:02:51,547 --> 00:02:53,194 The Cowgirls versus The She-gles. Heh. 33 00:02:53,632 --> 00:02:55,352 - No love lost there. - Unh. 34 00:02:55,801 --> 00:02:57,918 Thanks for supporting the WNBA, sir. 35 00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:01,431 You betcha. It's a nice break from the male sports I usually watch. 36 00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:03,225 You like male sports? 37 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,905 Oh, sure. Speed walking, ballroom dancing... 38 00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:08,303 ...rhythmic gymnastics, extreme choir. 39 00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:10,420 Just hurry up and miss. 40 00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:15,331 Lord, make my shot straight and true. 41 00:03:22,578 --> 00:03:24,517 Can't we just pretend you're really a girl? 42 00:03:24,997 --> 00:03:26,092 Well, for how long? 43 00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:29,063 For the rest of our lives. 44 00:03:35,174 --> 00:03:39,636 Gosh, $50,000. I'm donating this whole check to Bibles for Belgians. 45 00:03:42,097 --> 00:03:43,557 I'm the owner of this here team. 46 00:03:43,974 --> 00:03:45,767 I wanna reward your generous attitude... 47 00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,312 ...with this check for a hundred thousand dollars. 48 00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:54,422 I'm crazy as a crap-house rat for philanthropy. 49 00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:57,154 Hee-haw! Hee-Haw! 50 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:02,117 I'm sorry, sir. Your car is still blocked in. 51 00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:05,881 Well, heh, I guess Flanders doesn't have all the luck. 52 00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:09,062 So we'll let you drive home in the Wienermobile. 53 00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:11,814 - Well, hot dog. - Yay! 54 00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:13,649 That cuts the mustard with me. 55 00:04:14,046 --> 00:04:18,581 Oh, it's not fair. I always wanted to drive a food-shaped car. 56 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:21,730 Heh, the steering wheel is a giant onion ring. 57 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,649 They thought of everything. 58 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:30,562 How come all the good things happen to Jesus H. Nice? 59 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,271 By which I mean Flanders. 60 00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:45,984 D'oh! D'oh! 61 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,579 What are you doing? 62 00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:50,812 The grass is actually greener on Flanders' side. 63 00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:53,867 That's because you keep passing out on our lawn. 64 00:04:55,921 --> 00:04:59,362 No, that's not it. He's got some secret. 65 00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:02,615 And I'm gonna find out what it is, no matter what it takes. 66 00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:04,711 Flanders, what's your secret? 67 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,458 You never get arrested, don't buy clothes at Mister Blob... 68 00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:10,342 ...and look at your beautiful lawn. It sickens me. 69 00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:13,751 Well, heh, whatever I've got, I owe to hard work, honest living... 70 00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:17,317 ...and flossing my teeth, tail and toes. Plus a prayer now and then. 71 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,070 So that's all it takes. 72 00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:22,322 A little prayer. 73 00:05:23,282 --> 00:05:24,710 And now Ken Burns. 74 00:05:25,117 --> 00:05:28,297 A documentary by Ken Burns about the life of Ken Burns. 75 00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:30,528 Ew! Where's the remote? 76 00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:32,183 Ever since he was a young man... 77 00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:33,709 Ken Burns has loved two things. 78 00:05:34,126 --> 00:05:35,408 Baseball and jazz. 79 00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:37,108 They so consumed my life... 80 00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:40,288 ...I never had time for a proper haircut. 81 00:05:41,175 --> 00:05:42,707 Well, if I don't have the remote... 82 00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:44,928 ...I can just get up and change the channel. 83 00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:51,122 Wait a minute. I'll do what Flanders does. 84 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,510 Oh, merciful God... 85 00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:56,940 ...who has blessed mankind with two kinds of clam chowder... 86 00:05:57,566 --> 00:05:58,880 ...help me find the remote. 87 00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:02,894 There it is. 88 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,073 I've never actually been to a baseball game. 89 00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:06,961 The fresh air gives me hives. 90 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,723 Die monster! 91 00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:12,706 You're watching Monkey Olympics on Fox. 92 00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:15,386 It worked. I got my wish. 93 00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:18,837 From now on, I'll pray till my hands are chapped and bleeding. 94 00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:22,330 5.2, 5.2, 5.2, 5.1, 5.3. 95 00:06:26,178 --> 00:06:29,254 Ooh, low marks. I've never seen Noodles this mad. 96 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:32,309 She's throwing her diaper at the judges. 97 00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:35,270 Oh, Lord. Please guide that diaper into someone's schnoz. 98 00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:38,022 Ah, yes. 99 00:06:46,365 --> 00:06:48,523 Hmm. Vengeful God, loving God. 100 00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:50,755 Vengeful God, loving God. 101 00:06:51,203 --> 00:06:52,412 Vengeful God, loving God. 102 00:06:52,788 --> 00:06:54,362 Vengeful God, loving God. Ha, ha. 103 00:06:54,790 --> 00:06:56,688 I could do this all day and I just might. 104 00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:58,919 Vengeful God, loving God. 105 00:06:59,378 --> 00:07:00,504 Vengeful God, loving God. 106 00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:02,399 Setting up a prayer station, eh, Homer? 107 00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:05,133 I used to think God only helped professional athletes... 108 00:07:05,676 --> 00:07:06,676 ...and Grammy winners. 109 00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:09,742 But now I realize he helps shmoes like me too, Carl. 110 00:07:10,347 --> 00:07:11,347 Makes sense to me. 111 00:07:11,557 --> 00:07:14,518 Oh, by the way, did you see the judging in the monkey figure skating? 112 00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:17,886 Whose banana you gotta peel to get a 5.9? Pfft! 113 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,159 Could not believe that. 114 00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:24,851 Dear Lord, as I think of you, dressed in white with your splendid beard... 115 00:07:25,571 --> 00:07:28,824 ...I am reminded of Colonel Sanders who is now seated at your right hand... 116 00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:31,316 ...shoveling popcorn chicken into thy mouth. 117 00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:35,341 Lord, could you come up with a delicious new treat like he did? 118 00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:37,134 I command you. 119 00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:39,333 Hey, watch it. 120 00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:45,007 Oh, fudge! 121 00:07:47,718 --> 00:07:49,146 Woo! 122 00:07:50,721 --> 00:07:52,441 Mm... Move over, eggs. 123 00:07:52,890 --> 00:07:56,112 Bacon just got a new best friend: Fudge. 124 00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:01,325 Oh, heavenly God, my son is plagued with homework. 125 00:08:01,899 --> 00:08:05,006 With your vast knowledge of "The Shore Birds of Maryland"... 126 00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:06,893 ...I know you can help him. 127 00:08:07,279 --> 00:08:09,802 Homer, God isn't some kind of holy concierge. 128 00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:12,409 You can't keep bugging him for every little thing. 129 00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:15,944 Can and will. Now, to unstop the sink. 130 00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:20,719 Lord, please use your space-age clog- busting powers on this stubborn drain... 131 00:08:21,502 --> 00:08:23,180 ...then take some time off for yourself. 132 00:08:23,629 --> 00:08:24,984 Fly to France, have dinner. 133 00:08:25,380 --> 00:08:26,663 I'll just call a plumber. 134 00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:32,429 Oh, Lord, I see thou art working through thy imperfect vessel, Marge... 135 00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:34,306 ...for thou art most wise... 136 00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:36,944 You know, most people pray silently. 137 00:08:37,476 --> 00:08:40,114 Marge, he's way the hell up there. 138 00:08:40,896 --> 00:08:42,064 Okay. 139 00:08:43,607 --> 00:08:45,400 Hmm, I'm afraid I've got bad news. 140 00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:48,529 - Trees have gotten into your plumbing. - How bad is it? 141 00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:52,741 Your pipes have more roots than the list of all time top-rated TV shows. 142 00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:56,265 Oh, well, we could live with a stopped-up drain. 143 00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:59,686 I don't think that moisture's gonna do wonders for your drywall. 144 00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:03,001 And it ain't in such great shape as it is. 145 00:09:09,842 --> 00:09:12,365 You was hiding behind the drywall. 146 00:09:12,928 --> 00:09:16,849 Yes, you were. I'm glad social services didn't see this. Yes, I am. 147 00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:21,051 Oh, you coughed up some drywall. 148 00:09:26,817 --> 00:09:29,121 Lord, this is a dire emergency. 149 00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:30,779 If you could fix my house... 150 00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:33,271 ...or make a new house from one of my ribs. 151 00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:45,398 Dad, are you hurt? 152 00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:46,931 I think my leg is broken. 153 00:09:47,296 --> 00:09:49,047 Slip and fall? Can't go back to work? 154 00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:52,436 I'm Larry H. Lawyer, Junior. And I will fight for you. 155 00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:54,407 I also habla Español. 156 00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:57,764 So that's your answer. I'll sue the church. 157 00:09:58,390 --> 00:09:59,673 Homer, we can't sue the church. 158 00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:02,029 They'll poke fun at us in the church bulletin. 159 00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:03,802 It wouldn't be the first time. 160 00:10:04,188 --> 00:10:07,295 I couldn't help it. Those pews are so comfortable. 161 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:10,506 You have rights. You deserve financial compensation. 162 00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:15,835 He got me $60,000. And I was driving drunk in a graveyard. 163 00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:19,859 Now, you're my first client who actually is injured. 164 00:10:20,412 --> 00:10:22,352 According to this book, that's a big plus. 165 00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:24,552 Homer, please don't sue the church. 166 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,866 I'm asking you as your friend and neighbor. 167 00:10:27,336 --> 00:10:29,014 Can I borrow your pen to sign this? 168 00:10:29,463 --> 00:10:30,704 Okely-dokely. 169 00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:34,072 Why do I always give in to him? 170 00:10:34,510 --> 00:10:36,011 It's his skull. It's hypnotic. 171 00:10:36,637 --> 00:10:39,744 Now, hearing Homer Simpson v. The First Church of Springfield. 172 00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:43,456 Morning, judge. How is your lovely wife? 173 00:10:44,061 --> 00:10:45,341 She was run over by a clergyman. 174 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,921 We're very sorry for the victim's injury. 175 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:55,051 But as this tape demonstrates, Mr. Simpson is accident-prone. 176 00:10:57,032 --> 00:10:58,857 I can't see anything in this fog. 177 00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:11,474 Ha, ha, Your Honor, we the jury find that to be America's Funniest Home Video. 178 00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:14,393 Back to you, Bob Saget. 179 00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:16,051 This is a court of law. 180 00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:21,630 Okey-doke. We find for Mr. Simpson in the sum of $1 million. 181 00:11:22,558 --> 00:11:23,558 Woo-hoo! 182 00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:25,300 Can I get that in lottery tickets? 183 00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:28,657 Well, Your Honor, we don't have that kind of money. 184 00:11:29,273 --> 00:11:30,555 We're not a synagogue. 185 00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:34,528 In that case, I award Mr. Simpson the deed to the church. 186 00:11:35,237 --> 00:11:36,665 You're giving him the church? 187 00:11:37,072 --> 00:11:40,367 He's not giving it to me. God is because I prayed for it. 188 00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,224 Dad, I think this might be the work of Satan. 189 00:11:43,745 --> 00:11:44,986 It's all good. 190 00:11:51,336 --> 00:11:53,901 Homer, for the last time, please give the church back. 191 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,333 That is gonna drive me nuts. 192 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,627 Look. This church is our only option. 193 00:12:01,096 --> 00:12:02,410 Don't you kids wanna live here? 194 00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:04,819 Anything's better than that dump we came from. 195 00:12:05,309 --> 00:12:07,498 And there's so many places to cloister myself. 196 00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:09,917 The dog's onboard too. 197 00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:12,660 Aw, he thinks he's papal. 198 00:12:15,194 --> 00:12:18,895 Well, the court has spoken, so here you go. 199 00:12:19,615 --> 00:12:22,576 The baptismal font tends to run. You have to jiggle the handle. 200 00:12:23,202 --> 00:12:24,703 Oh, and Wednesday is garbage day. 201 00:12:25,287 --> 00:12:28,394 - Sweet. - I'm so sorry, Reverend. 202 00:12:29,041 --> 00:12:32,002 Oh, it's not so bad. We'll be staying with the Flanders'. 203 00:12:32,628 --> 00:12:34,671 And, Rev, you'll be bunking with me. 204 00:12:35,172 --> 00:12:36,527 Oh, boy, does he ever... 205 00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:42,565 I wanna lay it at your feet. 206 00:12:43,222 --> 00:12:46,152 'Cause girl, I was made for you. 207 00:12:47,309 --> 00:12:49,728 And, girl you were made for me. 208 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,270 Oh, I love this song. 209 00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:55,098 I was made for loving you, baby. 210 00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:58,883 You were made for loving me. 211 00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:02,126 I can't get enough of you, baby. 212 00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:05,587 There's people in Community Outreach Center. 213 00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:08,455 Well, we'll just see about that. 214 00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:12,397 If it weren't for Alcoholics Anonymous... 215 00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:15,254 ...I'd still be sucking the juice out of glow sticks. 216 00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:17,662 - Oh, yeah. - I've been there. 217 00:13:20,342 --> 00:13:22,719 I am so sorry for all your horrible problems. 218 00:13:23,262 --> 00:13:24,867 But this is our dog's room now. 219 00:13:27,224 --> 00:13:28,611 Wherever shall we go? 220 00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:31,155 Uh, you can come to my church. 221 00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:33,324 And what church might that be? 222 00:13:33,772 --> 00:13:35,816 Saint Pauli Girl's Cathedral. 223 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:39,132 - Oh, I've heard of them. - Yeah, okay. Let's go there. 224 00:13:40,112 --> 00:13:42,562 Homer, that was not very Christian of you. 225 00:13:43,115 --> 00:13:44,648 You're right. I'll make it up... 226 00:13:45,075 --> 00:13:48,516 ...by throwing the bitchingest beer bash this church has ever seen. 227 00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:02,353 Bless you. 228 00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:05,293 Bless you. How're you doing? 229 00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:08,338 Wow, Homer, this is like a party Dick Clark would throw. 230 00:14:08,891 --> 00:14:10,319 Yeah. Fun, but not too fun. 231 00:14:10,726 --> 00:14:11,726 So where's Marge? 232 00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:13,699 Uh, she went to Lovejoy's temporary church. 233 00:14:14,062 --> 00:14:16,325 She's worried about her immortal soul. 234 00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:20,538 He said to his disciples... 235 00:14:21,028 --> 00:14:23,040 In your face, Bestway Linen Supply. 236 00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,470 - Yeah, no mercy. - Roll that rock. 237 00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:29,922 In these times that test our faith... 238 00:14:30,454 --> 00:14:34,333 ...the Lord will be a... Holy shining light unto us all. 239 00:14:37,961 --> 00:14:41,256 Sorry, Padre. I didn't mean to embarrass you in front of the goyim. 240 00:14:41,924 --> 00:14:45,292 As I was saying, if we keep our hearts pure, we can... 241 00:14:45,969 --> 00:14:48,680 Dr. Hibbert, must you play the claw machine? 242 00:14:49,264 --> 00:14:51,308 I'll be right there. I've almost got me a kitty cat. 243 00:14:57,898 --> 00:15:00,015 I really enjoyed your sermon. 244 00:15:00,526 --> 00:15:03,820 Particularly the part about the pin in the gutter on lane 15. 245 00:15:04,488 --> 00:15:06,750 Ugh, that wasn't me. That was the manager. 246 00:15:07,282 --> 00:15:10,358 Are you sure? Because it really spoke to me. 247 00:15:10,994 --> 00:15:14,362 Marge, it's as plain as the bruise on my shin. 248 00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:17,261 There's no place for me here. 249 00:15:19,628 --> 00:15:21,672 Where you going, Reverend? The town's that way. 250 00:15:22,172 --> 00:15:23,172 Reverend? 251 00:15:23,382 --> 00:15:25,175 You're going the wrong way. 252 00:15:25,634 --> 00:15:27,167 I'm sorry, Ned. 253 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:30,597 It looks like God has packed up and left Springfield. 254 00:15:31,223 --> 00:15:33,569 Ah, no. No, you're lying. You're lying. 255 00:15:34,101 --> 00:15:35,602 What makes you lie? 256 00:15:44,236 --> 00:15:46,582 Good evening. Springfield is grappling tonight... 257 00:15:47,114 --> 00:15:50,628 ...with the departure of Rev. Timothy Lovejoy, Bible nut. 258 00:15:51,326 --> 00:15:53,704 How is our community coping with this spiritual vacuum? 259 00:15:54,246 --> 00:15:56,436 Let's ask Arnie Pie in the sky. 260 00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:58,531 You wanna know what I see, Kent? 261 00:15:58,959 --> 00:16:01,962 I see a slow news day with nothing to fill it. 262 00:16:02,588 --> 00:16:06,289 You're supposed to be filming people coping with the loss of their church. 263 00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:08,583 And how am I supposed to do that? 264 00:16:09,011 --> 00:16:11,826 Do I have a magic lens that can see into people's souls? 265 00:16:12,431 --> 00:16:16,278 Well, yours would be black, Kent. Black as the ace of spades. 266 00:16:27,196 --> 00:16:28,624 Homer, send these people home. 267 00:16:29,031 --> 00:16:31,596 This house-warming party's been going on for two days. 268 00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:33,546 Hey, hey, you can't throw us out. 269 00:16:33,952 --> 00:16:36,590 I just made a Cornish game hen with chestnut stuffing. 270 00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:40,959 Would you believe a pigeon stuffed with Spam? 271 00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:44,265 A rat filled with cough drops? 272 00:16:49,051 --> 00:16:51,689 They've broken every commandment except one. 273 00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:54,932 Hey, Lenny, covet some more chili fries? 274 00:16:56,058 --> 00:16:58,623 That's it. The whole shebang. 275 00:17:00,938 --> 00:17:04,493 Lord, this town may have turned its back on you, but not the Flanders'. 276 00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:07,204 Wherever we are, you'll have your church. 277 00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:08,694 Are you with me, boys? 278 00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:13,951 Speaking in tongues, what great kids. 279 00:17:19,331 --> 00:17:20,832 Full house. Jacks over twos. 280 00:17:21,250 --> 00:17:23,220 Ha, ha, read them and strip, Barn. 281 00:17:25,379 --> 00:17:28,486 Uh-uh-uh-uh. Slowly. Make me forget my troubles. 282 00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:31,771 Oh, I hate this game. 283 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,390 Look at all this. The great food, the party, the sunshine. 284 00:17:36,974 --> 00:17:39,351 Pfft! Hard to believe one God came up with all this. 285 00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:41,468 Well, there's probably a lot of gods. 286 00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:43,908 Yeah, and some of them's gotta be chicks. 287 00:17:44,398 --> 00:17:45,899 Yeah, with, like, a thousand boobs. 288 00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,923 Woo-hoo! That's the God I'm gonna worship. 289 00:17:49,486 --> 00:17:53,000 Well, there's only one God for me, your dad's old hunting trophy. 290 00:17:54,992 --> 00:17:58,547 On Dasher, on Dancer. Man, I must be wasted. 291 00:18:06,420 --> 00:18:08,463 Homer, aren't you afraid you might be...? 292 00:18:08,964 --> 00:18:12,885 - I don't know, incurring God's wrath? - Eh. God's cool. 293 00:18:13,635 --> 00:18:15,241 See, I don't know that he is. 294 00:18:15,679 --> 00:18:18,859 In the Bible, he's always smiting and turning people into salt. 295 00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:21,560 Oh, look. God's giving us a little shower. 296 00:18:24,605 --> 00:18:27,055 Everybody, look at the much needed rain. 297 00:18:27,983 --> 00:18:31,612 Thank you, God. Now, turn the rainwater into wine. 298 00:18:40,412 --> 00:18:44,333 Okay, boys. This is it. The end of this sinful little suburb. 299 00:18:45,083 --> 00:18:46,105 Yay! 300 00:18:46,460 --> 00:18:48,806 Let every evil lung fill. 301 00:18:53,091 --> 00:18:55,031 Okay. I got two of every animal... 302 00:18:55,511 --> 00:18:57,481 ...but only males. I don't want any hanky-panky. 303 00:18:58,472 --> 00:19:00,557 Hey, hey, hey. Cut that out. 304 00:19:04,061 --> 00:19:05,083 Wet and wonderful God... 305 00:19:05,437 --> 00:19:08,221 ...your flood has driven us to the roof of your church. 306 00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:11,120 Surely this has proven whatever point you had. 307 00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:17,053 Oh, God's ignoring me. 308 00:19:17,491 --> 00:19:20,744 Dad, maybe you should stop praying. See if that makes it happy. 309 00:19:21,411 --> 00:19:23,862 This heretic has doomed us all. 310 00:19:24,414 --> 00:19:26,906 Yeah. I say we skin him alive and set him on fire. 311 00:19:27,459 --> 00:19:29,764 - Yeah, that'll appease God. - Appease who now? 312 00:19:30,295 --> 00:19:31,536 Whoa, let's get biblical. 313 00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:35,352 Leave that man alone. 314 00:19:37,386 --> 00:19:38,773 It's Reverend Lovejoy. 315 00:19:40,597 --> 00:19:41,838 Let us pray. 316 00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:45,811 Dear Lord, please spare this sinful town. 317 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:50,440 They were misled by a demon in blue pants. 318 00:19:58,365 --> 00:19:59,752 I guess I learned something here. 319 00:20:00,158 --> 00:20:02,974 God is capable of great anger and great mercy... 320 00:20:03,579 --> 00:20:05,007 ...but mostly great anger. 321 00:20:05,414 --> 00:20:08,375 There are perfectly logical explanations for everything that happened. 322 00:20:09,001 --> 00:20:11,639 The bonfire sent soot into the air, which created rain. 323 00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:14,809 And with all the trees cut down, a flood was inevitable. 324 00:20:15,424 --> 00:20:16,957 Yeah. But what made the rain stop? 325 00:20:17,384 --> 00:20:19,250 I don't know. Buddha? 326 00:20:20,846 --> 00:20:22,785 Hey, they've suffered enough. 327 00:20:23,265 --> 00:20:26,852 Keep that popcorn chicken coming, colonel. 328 00:20:30,606 --> 00:20:32,034 Not bad. 329 00:20:32,441 --> 00:20:35,183 I think it's about time for you to tell me what's in those spices.