1 00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:04,776 The Simpsons. 2 00:00:06,465 --> 00:00:07,674 I'm Spelling As Fast As I Can. 3 00:00:15,224 --> 00:00:16,224 Whoo-hoo! 4 00:00:26,235 --> 00:00:28,977 Welcome to Matinee of Blood and Commercials. 5 00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:31,761 I am your hostess, Booberella. 6 00:00:32,282 --> 00:00:33,304 Our first fright flick... 7 00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:37,506 ...is 1983's Frankenstein and the Harlem Globetrotters... 8 00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:40,478 ...Meet the Mummy and the Washington Generals. 9 00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:43,116 I can't just sit here watching this junk. 10 00:00:44,962 --> 00:00:46,015 That's better. 11 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:47,433 If you watch closely... 12 00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:50,217 ...you might recognize a young Ray Romano. 13 00:00:57,224 --> 00:01:00,477 All right, Frankenstein, that's a three-second violation. 14 00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:03,449 Don't blame Frankenstein. 15 00:01:03,981 --> 00:01:08,006 Me made from corpses of Denver Nuggets. 16 00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:11,269 Now for the first of our 82 commercial breaks. 17 00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:14,460 Then you can see more of my boobs. 18 00:01:18,453 --> 00:01:21,602 It's nice to see a realistic single woman on TV. 19 00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:26,388 Hello, Springfield. Come to my back-to-school parking-lot blowout. 20 00:01:27,171 --> 00:01:29,433 School's starting, Bart. Aren't you excited? 21 00:01:29,965 --> 00:01:31,936 This year, you learn about local history. 22 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:35,429 We've got first-rate school supplies at Third World prices... 23 00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:38,619 ...at the Kwik-E-Mart, where we believe in America. 24 00:01:39,183 --> 00:01:41,299 Please don't beat me up anymore. 25 00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:42,905 Bad news. 26 00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:46,127 Ray Romano has sued to prevent the showing of the movie. 27 00:01:46,732 --> 00:01:48,921 Watch this commercial for Krusty Burger... 28 00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:52,300 ...while I appeal this temporary injunction. 29 00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:57,816 Like a rib. 30 00:01:58,327 --> 00:02:00,746 It tastes like liberty. 31 00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:03,551 Like a rib. 32 00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:06,679 With a bun of sesame. 33 00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:12,132 We start with authentic letter-graded meat... 34 00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:16,991 ...and process the hell out of it till it's good enough for Krusty. 35 00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:20,734 Try my new Krusty Ribwich. 36 00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:24,415 I don't mind the taste. 37 00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:26,720 Ooh, a new hamburger sandwich. 38 00:02:27,189 --> 00:02:29,608 Wow, I can't wait to pack that into my colon. 39 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,455 Dude, take it easy on the fatty foods. 40 00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,624 You're running out of leg veins to transplant into your heart. 41 00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:38,617 - I got arm veins, don't I? - Yes, sir. 42 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:43,903 School's back in session. 43 00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:47,907 Let's begin our lessons. 44 00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:50,963 This year, he gets it in the back. 45 00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,736 Uh, Willie, did you get the letter about your pay cut? 46 00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:56,489 Aye. There'll be many a cut this year. 47 00:02:57,010 --> 00:03:00,086 Indeed there will. Budget-wise of course. 48 00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:05,926 - Nelson, how was your summer? - Sucked. 49 00:03:06,478 --> 00:03:08,418 - What'd you do? - Space Camp. 50 00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:12,119 At ease, Cadet Nelson. Good to be back on terra firma, eh? 51 00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:15,709 How about I launch my foot into your butt? 52 00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:18,375 I held your hair when you barfed in the simulator. 53 00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:20,440 Shut up, commander. 54 00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:23,829 Welcome back, children. We've all had fascinating summers. 55 00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:26,874 I was the maitre d' at the Springfield Country Club. 56 00:03:27,416 --> 00:03:29,720 My dad says you were a busboy. 57 00:03:30,252 --> 00:03:31,931 You mean your dad, the raging alcoholic? 58 00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:35,781 Um, we better get down to business. 59 00:03:36,008 --> 00:03:38,458 As this is a non-leap year, we're a day behind. 60 00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:42,191 Come on, man. Everyone knows the first day of school is a total wank. 61 00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:44,892 Well, if by wank you mean educational fun... 62 00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,290 ...then stand back, it's wanking time. 63 00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:53,400 Let's get the year rolling with an all-school spelling bee. 64 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:55,194 Whoo-hoo! 65 00:03:55,611 --> 00:03:59,198 Ugh, I guess I won't be popular this year either. 66 00:04:00,616 --> 00:04:02,190 Bart, your word is "imply." 67 00:04:02,618 --> 00:04:04,995 Imply. I-M-P... 68 00:04:05,537 --> 00:04:07,435 Bart said I am pee. He's made of pee. 69 00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,408 Well, I got my laugh. I'm out of here. 70 00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:13,962 I made Bart in my pants. 71 00:04:14,463 --> 00:04:16,767 Well, we're down to our last two students. 72 00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:18,832 Milhouse, your word is "choke." 73 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,427 Oh, I know this one. 74 00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:23,878 It's so easy. F... Oh, man! 75 00:04:26,058 --> 00:04:27,809 Stop laughing. It will scar him for life. 76 00:04:31,647 --> 00:04:33,586 It is kind of infectious. 77 00:04:34,066 --> 00:04:35,494 Lisa, "impugn." 78 00:04:35,901 --> 00:04:37,475 I-M-P... 79 00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:40,207 - Hey, Lisa said she was... - Unh, shut up, Pee. 80 00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:43,043 ...U-G-N. Impugn. 81 00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:46,464 That's right. Lisa Simpson, you're school champion. 82 00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:50,707 Wow, I better make the most of this. 83 00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:53,981 - Free Tibet! - There'll be time for that later. 84 00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:57,912 Now you concentrate on representing our school at the state spelling finals. 85 00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:01,041 Lisa! Lisa! Lisa! 86 00:05:01,593 --> 00:05:03,168 And here's your prize for today... 87 00:05:03,595 --> 00:05:06,014 ...a scale model of the planet Mars. 88 00:05:08,183 --> 00:05:10,373 This is just a kickball with "Mars" written on it. 89 00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:13,011 Behold, the Red Planet. 90 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,279 It was so exciting. 91 00:05:20,696 --> 00:05:23,261 I actually got applause for being smart. 92 00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:25,847 Mars, eh? Hmm. 93 00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,005 I see no evidence of water. 94 00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:30,612 Well, this is very impressive, Lisa. 95 00:05:31,123 --> 00:05:33,135 I'm kicking this right onto the mantle. 96 00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:35,805 Well, I'm not done yet. 97 00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:38,589 Principal Skinner said if I win the state finals... 98 00:05:39,131 --> 00:05:41,175 ...I can go to the Spellympics. 99 00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:42,989 I'm just happy you're excited... 100 00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:46,200 ...about something besides saving the whales. 101 00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:48,964 Face it, they're doomed. 102 00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:52,842 - Hey, hey, the Ribwich is back. - The Ribwich. 103 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,263 The commercials have come to pass. 104 00:05:56,857 --> 00:06:00,298 Try the new Ribwich. It's so good you'll croak. 105 00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:02,519 You seem like an impartial observer. 106 00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:06,022 But I've been fooled by so many people in costumes. 107 00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:09,401 Try the sauce. I'm soaked in it. 108 00:06:14,917 --> 00:06:16,710 I could lick you all day long. 109 00:06:17,169 --> 00:06:19,765 And yet my children think I'm a failure. 110 00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:23,602 - One Ribwich, please. - Mm-hm. 111 00:06:24,176 --> 00:06:26,407 Hmm. "Now without lettuce." 112 00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:47,178 Sir, are you all right? 113 00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,920 I have eaten the ribs of God. 114 00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:52,173 Drool cleanup at Register 4. 115 00:06:55,541 --> 00:06:58,398 - "Ameliorate." - Could you use it in a sentence? 116 00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:02,402 "Nothing can ameliorate the ineptitude of Principal Skinner." 117 00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:05,540 I wish he wouldn't use me in every example. 118 00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:10,597 A-M-E-L-I-O-R-A-T-E. Ameliorate. 119 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:14,434 Correct. Lisa, you just won the state finals. 120 00:07:17,729 --> 00:07:20,805 Diphthongs, cognates, Latin roots. 121 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:24,111 Lisa clobbers all you fruits. 122 00:07:24,695 --> 00:07:27,218 Oh, our little girl's got her own cheering section. 123 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,429 - Hey, who doesn't? - You tell her, big H. 124 00:07:29,867 --> 00:07:32,213 - You the man. - Ah, you ain't so hot. 125 00:07:32,744 --> 00:07:35,820 Lisa, I'm so impressed you're state champ. 126 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:39,418 Finally, a Simpson has a trophy without a bowling ball on it. 127 00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:42,421 Well, why don't we celebrate by going to a movie? 128 00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:46,289 That sounds like a magical family moment. I'm sorry I won't be there. 129 00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:49,970 Really? It won't be the same without you, Dad. 130 00:07:50,596 --> 00:07:53,818 Oh, sweetie. You're the most important thing to me in the world. 131 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:58,176 Only very serious daddy business can tear me from your side. 132 00:07:58,896 --> 00:08:00,428 Three Ribwiches, please. 133 00:08:00,856 --> 00:08:03,817 And instead of a shake, I'd like a blended Ribwich. 134 00:08:04,443 --> 00:08:05,465 I'm sorry, sir. 135 00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,936 The Ribwich was for a limited time only. 136 00:08:08,447 --> 00:08:11,450 Not again. First, you took away my Philly Fudge Steak... 137 00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:15,329 ...and then my Bacon Balls, then my Watcha-ma-chicken. 138 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,093 You monster. 139 00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:29,739 I'd like a large fries, please. And a collector's cup. 140 00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:32,857 If you want the Ribwich, they're testing it in other markets. 141 00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:34,556 Check out the tour schedule. 142 00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:38,081 Wow, this is amazing. 143 00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:40,979 I could follow the Ribwich from town to town. 144 00:08:41,522 --> 00:08:43,127 That's what we do. We're Ribheads. 145 00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:47,496 Maybe I should hook up with you guys. 146 00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:50,437 After all, how long do any of us have to live? 147 00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:52,418 If you like the Ribwich, not very. 148 00:08:54,826 --> 00:08:57,350 Lisa, to honor Springfield Elementary's shining star... 149 00:08:57,913 --> 00:09:00,436 ...we are granting you a doublewide locker. 150 00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:04,107 - Your books will actually fit in this one. - Hey, my locker's gone. 151 00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:07,276 Your effects have been moved to Willie's shack. 152 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:08,966 Come along, lad. 153 00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:10,509 And lose your books. 154 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:13,043 They won't help you where you're going. 155 00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:16,223 In business news, 3M and M&M have merged... 156 00:09:16,807 --> 00:09:19,226 ...to form, get this, Ultradyne Systems. 157 00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:21,739 And speaking of news stories, here's another. 158 00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,168 Springfield's spelling phenom Lisa Simpson... 159 00:09:24,648 --> 00:09:26,994 ...has qualified for spelling's answer to the Olympics... 160 00:09:27,526 --> 00:09:28,548 ...the Spellympics. 161 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:32,051 In a related story, the Spellympics is being sued by the Olympics... 162 00:09:32,698 --> 00:09:34,491 ...for use of the suffix "lympics." 163 00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:38,276 This has gotta be the slowest news day ever. 164 00:09:38,787 --> 00:09:41,133 Ah, that's better. Paris is no more. 165 00:09:41,665 --> 00:09:44,449 The legendary City of Lights has been extinguished forever as a... 166 00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:48,046 Okay, champ. I before E, except after C. 167 00:09:48,672 --> 00:09:51,195 Except when pronounced like A, as in "neighbor" and "weigh." 168 00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:53,510 Really? Hmm? 169 00:09:53,969 --> 00:09:57,671 Well, what about in the sentence "Jim Nabors is way cool"? 170 00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:01,716 - How often is that gonna come up? - It's on my apron. 171 00:10:02,394 --> 00:10:04,584 Yeah. I got work to do. 172 00:10:06,982 --> 00:10:07,982 Hey, lookie. 173 00:10:08,192 --> 00:10:11,122 It's that young'un what sorts them squiggles into words. 174 00:10:11,737 --> 00:10:13,311 Can you spell "scabies"? 175 00:10:13,739 --> 00:10:15,459 S-C-A-B-I-E-S. 176 00:10:15,908 --> 00:10:18,765 Rubella, we got you a middle name. 177 00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:21,382 You ain't supposed to hold her like that. 178 00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:24,614 - Spell "AC/DC." - A-C-D-C. 179 00:10:25,167 --> 00:10:27,398 Uh-uh. You forgot the lightning bolt. 180 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:30,412 - "Relapse." - R-E-L-A-P-S-E. 181 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,643 That's what beer has done to me. 182 00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:34,885 Sock it to me. Sock it to me. Sock it to me. 183 00:10:35,344 --> 00:10:37,022 L-I-S-A! 184 00:10:37,471 --> 00:10:39,118 L-I-S-A! 185 00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:42,080 Thank you. I've never felt more accepted. 186 00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:44,832 Perhaps one day, people who spell correctly... 187 00:10:45,354 --> 00:10:48,607 ...will replace athletes at the top of our national pantheon. 188 00:10:50,776 --> 00:10:54,290 Ha, ha, I was just K-I-D-D-I-N-G. 189 00:10:58,951 --> 00:10:59,951 Come on, dimples. 190 00:11:00,202 --> 00:11:01,589 Spell something else for us. 191 00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,008 - I'm a little tired. - Oh, come on. 192 00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:07,501 Hey, spell "Little Miss She-Thinks-She's-So-Big." 193 00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:12,704 Ugh, very well. L-I-T-T-L-E M-I-S-S... 194 00:11:13,549 --> 00:11:15,415 I ain't got time for this. I got a bar to run. 195 00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:22,067 Welcome to the games of the 34th Spellympiad. 196 00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:25,581 I'm George Plimpton, founder of The Paris Review. 197 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:29,043 I also played the evil dean in Boner Academy. 198 00:11:29,648 --> 00:11:31,879 You monster. Why did you expel Boogerman? 199 00:11:32,401 --> 00:11:34,924 He replaced my tennis racket with a rubber phallus. 200 00:11:35,487 --> 00:11:36,916 Ha, ha, that was awesome. 201 00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:39,960 And now in the ancient spelling-bee tradition... 202 00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:42,432 ...we shall release the bees. 203 00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:52,661 And now to exterminate the bees, the magnificent Blue Angels. 204 00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:04,473 I put a spell on you. 205 00:12:08,270 --> 00:12:09,625 It's so exciting. 206 00:12:10,022 --> 00:12:11,888 It's like living in a dictionary. 207 00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:15,308 Because you're mine. 208 00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:17,852 Ha, ha, he's an aserose. 209 00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:20,668 Really? He possesses the properties of a pine needle? 210 00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:24,693 Look, I didn't bring a Game Boy. This is all I got. 211 00:12:25,204 --> 00:12:29,301 A-N-T-H-R-A-X. Anthrax. 212 00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:34,682 He's adorable. 213 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:37,945 I'd sure like to tuck that in at night. 214 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:41,105 Well, we're down to our three finalists: 215 00:12:41,637 --> 00:12:42,637 Lisa... 216 00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,097 ...Sun Moon... 217 00:12:45,349 --> 00:12:46,517 ...and Alex. 218 00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:51,751 We will crown our champion tomorrow. 219 00:12:52,231 --> 00:12:56,547 Now please enjoy our unlicensed knockoff of the Olympic anthem. 220 00:13:03,242 --> 00:13:07,016 Congratulations, sweetie. You're in the finals. 221 00:13:07,746 --> 00:13:10,488 Well, I'm just happy you guys all came up here to Calgary with me. 222 00:13:11,083 --> 00:13:13,794 I'm sorry, honey. I can't be here tomorrow. 223 00:13:14,378 --> 00:13:17,162 It's the last day the Ribwich is in San Francisco. 224 00:13:17,756 --> 00:13:19,696 Dad, this is my moment in the sun. 225 00:13:20,175 --> 00:13:22,188 How can you miss it to be with a sandwich? 226 00:13:22,678 --> 00:13:25,462 You don't understand. It's not just a sandwich. 227 00:13:26,056 --> 00:13:29,017 It's about brotherhood. It's about freedom. 228 00:13:29,643 --> 00:13:31,655 It's about three days since I've had one. 229 00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:35,107 I'm getting the shakes and I'm getting the fries. 230 00:13:36,066 --> 00:13:38,078 Don't worry, honey. You can win without him. 231 00:13:38,569 --> 00:13:39,736 I guess I'll have to. 232 00:13:40,112 --> 00:13:42,750 Then I'll be queen of the world! Of spelling. 233 00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,888 That's right, queen of the world! Of spelling. 234 00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:49,308 Lisa, may I see you privately for a moment? 235 00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:51,300 This can only be good. 236 00:13:51,915 --> 00:13:55,314 Lisa, competitive spelling has fallen on hard times. 237 00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:58,568 Today's students would rather watch Ozzy Osbourne. 238 00:13:59,131 --> 00:14:01,769 "Look at me, I'm a drug addict. Ho, ho, ho." 239 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,386 Some of us still enjoy scripted comedy, sir. 240 00:14:04,887 --> 00:14:05,887 That's a good girl. 241 00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:09,422 But if spelling is to compete, it needs a charismatic champion. 242 00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:12,915 Someone like me back when I was a white-haired little boy. 243 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:16,190 - Well, I haven't won yet. - Nor shall you. 244 00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:20,027 - What? - The future of our very sport is at stake. 245 00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:23,332 And we want the gold medal to go to him. 246 00:14:23,906 --> 00:14:25,292 Who? Alex? 247 00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:27,597 - The boy that everybody loves? - Yes. 248 00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:30,089 He's crowd-pleasing and he's cute. 249 00:14:30,579 --> 00:14:33,071 Women in the audience toss their thick glasses at him. 250 00:14:33,624 --> 00:14:35,490 I'm not throwing a spelling bee. 251 00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:37,753 I'll die before I misspell. 252 00:14:38,212 --> 00:14:39,452 Be reasonable, Lisa. 253 00:14:39,838 --> 00:14:42,622 If you take a dive, we'll guarantee you a scholarship... 254 00:14:43,217 --> 00:14:45,479 ...to the Seven Sisters college of your choice. 255 00:14:46,011 --> 00:14:50,620 - Oh, free college? - And a hot plate. It's perfect for soup. 256 00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:01,641 Throw the bee and go to college. 257 00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:04,603 Throw the bee and go to college. 258 00:15:11,203 --> 00:15:14,456 We are the Seven Sisters, and you could attend any one of us. 259 00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:17,647 Like Barnard, Columbia's girl next door. 260 00:15:18,210 --> 00:15:21,724 - Come to Radcliffe, meet Harvard men. - Come to Wellesley, marry them. 261 00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:24,393 No, party with me. 262 00:15:24,883 --> 00:15:27,917 - Or non-conform with me. - Huh? 263 00:15:28,554 --> 00:15:31,411 - Play lacrosse with me. - Or explore with me. 264 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:36,687 No, I don't wanna pay for college by throwing a spelling bee. 265 00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:38,668 Give in, Lisa. 266 00:15:39,064 --> 00:15:41,410 - Get a free ride. - And a hot plate. 267 00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:46,488 - Free ride. Free ride. Free ride. - And a hot plate. 268 00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:52,327 - What is it, sweetie? - Mom, I'm having a crisis of conscience. 269 00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:55,122 Can you and Dad afford to send me to college? 270 00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:56,905 Oh, sure. 271 00:15:57,291 --> 00:15:59,522 I mean, not on your father's salary. 272 00:16:00,043 --> 00:16:04,329 - But I could, um, give piano lessons. - But you don't play the piano. 273 00:16:05,132 --> 00:16:07,509 I just gotta stay one lesson ahead of the kid. 274 00:16:09,261 --> 00:16:13,651 Well, I suppose I could just skip college and marry Milhouse. 275 00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:17,801 I know this is a fantasy, but I'll take it. 276 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:19,478 No, forget it. 277 00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:22,409 No! I'll never be this happy again! 278 00:16:33,535 --> 00:16:35,475 Hey, man, can you turn me on? 279 00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:38,697 Hey, don't borgnine my sandwich. 280 00:16:42,336 --> 00:16:43,389 Hey, hey. 281 00:16:43,754 --> 00:16:45,328 It's the guy from the drive-through. 282 00:16:46,465 --> 00:16:48,811 Yeah. I'd like three Ribwiches, a Diet Coke... 283 00:16:49,343 --> 00:16:53,076 Will you get out of my...? Look, uh, about the Ribwich. 284 00:16:53,805 --> 00:16:55,380 There aren't gonna be any more. 285 00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:58,154 The animal we made them from is now extinct. 286 00:16:58,685 --> 00:16:59,738 - The pig? - The cow? 287 00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:01,103 You're way off. 288 00:17:01,438 --> 00:17:02,898 Think smaller. 289 00:17:03,315 --> 00:17:05,254 - Think more legs. - Ew. 290 00:17:05,734 --> 00:17:08,591 People, we went through something magical together. 291 00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:11,062 It's not important who got rich off of whom... 292 00:17:11,532 --> 00:17:13,106 ...or who was exposed to tainted what. 293 00:17:13,534 --> 00:17:15,285 And because you believed in my dream... 294 00:17:15,744 --> 00:17:19,331 ...I want you to fight over the last Ribwich ever made. Here. 295 00:17:21,667 --> 00:17:23,564 Welcome to the real world, hippies. 296 00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:27,965 Wow, what a long, strange product rollout it's been. Goodbye. 297 00:17:35,973 --> 00:17:38,016 Man, you got the last Ribwich. 298 00:17:38,517 --> 00:17:39,799 I'll give you anything for it. 299 00:17:40,185 --> 00:17:42,896 Please. I'll get you four days and three nights at a Comfort Inn. 300 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:44,867 Anywhere in the lower 48 states. 301 00:17:45,274 --> 00:17:47,432 Blackout dates, December 19th through January 5th. 302 00:17:47,943 --> 00:17:49,914 I give you the lease to my car. 303 00:17:50,404 --> 00:17:52,520 Ah! Lisa. Is this what I've come to? 304 00:17:53,031 --> 00:17:56,034 Fighting over a stupid sandwich on my daughter's big day? 305 00:17:56,785 --> 00:17:59,569 Mister, I'll take that car. 306 00:18:00,163 --> 00:18:01,988 That's nice. 307 00:18:08,005 --> 00:18:09,610 I have the buyer's remorse. 308 00:18:20,017 --> 00:18:22,060 All right. Your word is "weather." 309 00:18:23,061 --> 00:18:25,001 Which one? Can you use it in a sentence? 310 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:29,213 Certainly. "I don't know whether the weather will improve." 311 00:18:32,321 --> 00:18:33,374 W... 312 00:18:33,864 --> 00:18:36,168 Uh, um... E... 313 00:18:40,746 --> 00:18:43,008 Alex, your word is "rigged"... 314 00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:45,918 ...as in, "This contest is rigged." 315 00:18:46,460 --> 00:18:50,088 R-I-G-G-E-D. Rigged. 316 00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,111 Bravo, my pet. 317 00:18:52,508 --> 00:18:53,675 You shall be champion... 318 00:18:54,051 --> 00:18:57,377 ...assuming Lisa misspells this next word. 319 00:18:58,055 --> 00:19:00,432 The word is "intransigence." 320 00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:03,206 - Could I please hear it in a sentence? - Certainly. 321 00:19:03,727 --> 00:19:08,159 "The little girl's intransigence cost her the college of her choice." 322 00:19:09,358 --> 00:19:11,328 Intransigence. I... 323 00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:14,050 Daddy made it for your dance recital, honey. 324 00:19:14,530 --> 00:19:16,208 Dad, you do care. 325 00:19:16,657 --> 00:19:19,295 Damn right. You're number one on my menu. 326 00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:21,036 Now super size it. 327 00:19:21,411 --> 00:19:23,090 With you here, I can't fail. 328 00:19:23,747 --> 00:19:25,134 Attention, everyone. 329 00:19:25,541 --> 00:19:28,575 I was asked to take a dive, but I won't do it. 330 00:19:29,211 --> 00:19:32,944 I-N-T-R-A-N-S-I-G-A-N-C-E. 331 00:19:33,674 --> 00:19:35,978 You fool, it's E-N-C-E. 332 00:19:36,510 --> 00:19:39,075 Oh, my God, you're right. I spelled it wrong. 333 00:19:39,638 --> 00:19:44,142 - I tried my best and I failed. - And now you lose everything. 334 00:19:44,977 --> 00:19:47,323 And I go back to whatever it is I do. 335 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,819 Lisa, honey, you spelled the word wrong... 336 00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:55,717 ...but you did the right thing. 337 00:19:56,113 --> 00:20:00,033 Yeah. You're the number one speller in this car, or in that car... 338 00:20:00,784 --> 00:20:03,276 ...or in that car, or... Don't look at that car. 339 00:20:05,414 --> 00:20:08,083 My one chance for everyone to like me and I blew it. 340 00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:09,667 Wha...? 341 00:20:12,004 --> 00:20:13,359 Two cheers for Lisa. 342 00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:15,215 - Hip, hip... - Hooray! 343 00:20:15,632 --> 00:20:17,134 - Hip, hip... - Hooray! 344 00:20:17,551 --> 00:20:19,271 Now deep breath and quiet. 345 00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:21,513 You mean you're all still proud of me? 346 00:20:22,139 --> 00:20:23,234 Lisa, with second place... 347 00:20:23,599 --> 00:20:25,569 ...you're the biggest winner this town ever had. 348 00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:28,656 Before you, it was the woman who dated Charles Grodin. 349 00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:31,826 You have made me feel so wonderful. 350 00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:33,640 Thank you, Springfield. 351 00:20:34,026 --> 00:20:36,069 We've got another surprise for you. 352 00:20:36,570 --> 00:20:40,042 - Ay, caramba. - Ah! That's amazing. Thank you.