1 00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:05,328 The Simpsons. 2 00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:07,090 Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington. 3 00:00:26,318 --> 00:00:29,467 We return to a late episode of The Three Stooges: 4 00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:31,980 "Brittle Boneheads." 5 00:00:35,661 --> 00:00:36,661 There. 6 00:00:37,829 --> 00:00:38,829 Take it easy, Moe. 7 00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:40,624 He don't have health insurance. 8 00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:43,126 Take that, you... You, um... 9 00:00:43,627 --> 00:00:46,077 - Chowderhead? - Thanks, for nothing, unh. 10 00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:49,049 Ha, ha, that was my paralyzed side. 11 00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:51,416 Oh, stroke victim, eh? Unh. 12 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:54,888 Please, Moe. I don't wanna do this no more. 13 00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:57,558 Get up, Curly Four. 14 00:00:58,141 --> 00:01:00,853 - Curly Four? - I need a quarter for the bus. 15 00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:04,731 Droll. 16 00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:15,336 Promo. 17 00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:17,493 Ew! Fox. 18 00:01:20,289 --> 00:01:21,456 Now, I got you... 19 00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:28,401 Unh, not the swear jar. 20 00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:31,008 It's the only thing holding back the filth. 21 00:01:33,135 --> 00:01:34,135 Nutty fudgkins. 22 00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:52,884 Do you hear a noise? 23 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,699 What? 24 00:01:57,034 --> 00:02:00,214 Why is that jet flying so close to our house? 25 00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:02,080 Why don't you ask those guys? 26 00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:09,192 If I stop pedaling, I'll die. 27 00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:12,414 But it still beats U.S. Air, ha, ha. 28 00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:15,938 The people there don't know how to make a flight. 29 00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:19,118 They must've moved the flight paths over our house. 30 00:02:23,602 --> 00:02:24,843 This is a private jet. 31 00:02:25,229 --> 00:02:28,086 Why do we gotta watch The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood? 32 00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:30,807 The boss. He's got a thing for the ya-yas. 33 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,843 Why was I born a man? 34 00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:43,643 Ew! I got Bart's veal. 35 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,104 I got Lisa's plankton kebobs. 36 00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:48,700 Ew! Marge germs. 37 00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:50,419 Maggie, give me that. 38 00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:54,800 How much longer is this going to go on? 39 00:02:55,425 --> 00:03:00,149 I'm gonna go calm my nerves with a nice relaxing shave. 40 00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:02,558 Tissues, please. 41 00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:06,666 Get out of my airspace. 42 00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:10,764 Dad, why don't you go to the airport authority and complain? 43 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:12,714 I'm on my way. 44 00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:14,789 You man the rake. 45 00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:23,839 This is not a Delta hub. 46 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:29,960 Go up to Room 915 and ask for form 1790. 47 00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:34,767 We've already been to Room 915. We've already filled out form 1790. 48 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,488 It was an application to open a Cinnabon stand. 49 00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:41,847 Look, can you please just tell us why you've changed the flight paths? 50 00:03:43,849 --> 00:03:45,058 Uh, look, they were changed... 51 00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:48,510 ...because it disturbed local wildlife and their mating rituals. 52 00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:51,784 Vote Quimby. Vote Quimby. Vote Quimby. Ahh! 53 00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:55,830 Without those noisy planes, I can finally hear my kitten purr. 54 00:03:56,528 --> 00:03:59,823 Thanks a million, Joe. You're the swellest. 55 00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:01,617 That's your voice? 56 00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:04,484 Now, I regret building you that opera house. 57 00:04:05,037 --> 00:04:08,040 There has to be a solution that pleases everyone. 58 00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:10,928 From ducks and trees to you's and me's. 59 00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:13,180 Are you threatening a government official? 60 00:04:13,629 --> 00:04:16,267 - No. - Good. Because we're the government. 61 00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:20,761 We make the laws. We print the money. And we breed the super-soldiers. 62 00:04:21,512 --> 00:04:23,774 So go home, learn to live with it, pay your taxes... 63 00:04:24,306 --> 00:04:26,683 ...and remember, you didn't hear about super-soldiers. 64 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,121 There's the 1050 from Newark. 65 00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:40,093 The 1052 from Phoenix, connecting from Dallas. 66 00:04:40,656 --> 00:04:43,325 The 1055 from Portland is running late. Again. 67 00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:45,734 There it is. Ha, ha. 68 00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:49,571 Homer, we haven't gotten a good night's sleep in weeks. 69 00:04:50,249 --> 00:04:52,699 The dog has eaten all its hair. 70 00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:58,747 And the fixtures won't stay in one place. 71 00:04:59,341 --> 00:05:01,166 I've had this dream before. 72 00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:05,775 I never thought I would say this. 73 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,725 But I think we have to move. 74 00:05:09,268 --> 00:05:10,769 Never. 75 00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:18,047 Stay plugged in. I will find you. 76 00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:21,551 Cookie, think you can sell this house? 77 00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:23,928 Well, it'll be tough, but I can do it. 78 00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:25,982 Cookie's number one on the West Side. 79 00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:28,860 - But this is the East Side. - Who is this lady? 80 00:05:31,123 --> 00:05:33,062 Why are you selling your house? 81 00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:35,773 Occasionally you might hear a faint roar. 82 00:05:42,176 --> 00:05:43,823 See? It all works out. 83 00:05:48,307 --> 00:05:52,040 I'll give you three crayons and my milk. 84 00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:55,512 It's a good offer. I advise you to take it. 85 00:05:56,148 --> 00:05:59,443 Hmm, make that a chocolate milk and you got a deal. 86 00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:02,289 I'm walking away. 87 00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:05,073 We can't sell the house. We can't live here. 88 00:06:05,616 --> 00:06:06,616 What are we going to do? 89 00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:08,483 Why don't we go to our congressman? 90 00:06:08,911 --> 00:06:09,911 That's a great idea. 91 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:11,695 Why didn't you say something before? 92 00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:14,937 I've been saying it for three weeks, but every time I open my mouth... 93 00:06:18,629 --> 00:06:20,599 - What? - What? 94 00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:26,334 The shaking's so bad, all my omelets have become frittatas. 95 00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:30,234 That's the saddest story I've heard in my 75 years of public service. 96 00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:34,113 It makes my blood boil and my left arm feel numb. 97 00:06:34,770 --> 00:06:36,125 Also I taste copper. 98 00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:41,474 Quick. Someone perform CPR. 99 00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:45,312 I see a bad moon rising. 100 00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:47,387 - That's CCR. - Uh, uh... 101 00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:50,014 It looks like we're in for nasty weather. 102 00:06:50,536 --> 00:06:52,183 Congressman Wilcox was laid to rest today. 103 00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:55,697 Special election will be held to fill his seat. 104 00:06:56,458 --> 00:06:58,471 I guess there's only one way out of our problems: 105 00:06:58,961 --> 00:07:00,639 A murder/suicide pact. 106 00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:02,548 How can you say that? 107 00:07:02,965 --> 00:07:05,008 It's just an expression, Marge. 108 00:07:05,509 --> 00:07:06,937 You're watching Channel 6... 109 00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:08,984 ...Springfield's home of Krusty the Klown. 110 00:07:09,388 --> 00:07:11,212 Now on three times a day. 111 00:07:11,682 --> 00:07:14,247 Because at Channel 6, we got nothing else. 112 00:07:14,810 --> 00:07:16,854 Hey, Krusty should run for Congress. 113 00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:18,929 He could help us with the airplanes. 114 00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:22,140 Yeah, and entertainers are always winning elections. 115 00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:25,769 Jesse 'The Body' Ventura, Sonny Bono, Gopher from Love Boat. 116 00:07:26,405 --> 00:07:27,405 Mary Bono... 117 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:31,034 Sure I'll help you, kid. 118 00:07:31,577 --> 00:07:34,799 Take a picture of me and my number one dying fan. 119 00:07:39,877 --> 00:07:43,432 Have your mom mail back the hat after, uh, you know... 120 00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:45,372 I'm not dying. 121 00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:48,792 Yeah, that's the spirit. Keep fighting. Where's my chai latte? 122 00:07:49,428 --> 00:07:51,367 Krusty, we need you to run for Congress. 123 00:07:51,847 --> 00:07:53,786 Congress? But I hate the government. 124 00:07:54,266 --> 00:07:56,456 They've been on my back like hump on granny. 125 00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:59,542 IRS, ATF, Immigration... 126 00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:01,105 Immigration? 127 00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:03,181 Oh, uh, Teeny here is from Brazil. 128 00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:06,069 His uncle was the head monkey at the Bureau of Tourism. 129 00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:08,697 But if you get elected, you can change all that... 130 00:08:09,198 --> 00:08:11,356 ...stop those airplanes from flying over my house. 131 00:08:11,867 --> 00:08:15,600 Yeah. I could even tell the FCC to take a hike. 132 00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:18,895 Look at this list of words they won't let me say on the air. 133 00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:20,886 Oh, all the good ones. 134 00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:23,232 Hmm, I never even heard of number nine. 135 00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:26,350 It's doing 13 while she's elevening your five. 136 00:08:26,924 --> 00:08:29,489 - Can I keep this? - Sure, no 12 off my ass. 137 00:08:33,222 --> 00:08:34,827 Welcome, fellow Republicans. 138 00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:38,049 To start with, Brother Hibbert will read a report on our efforts... 139 00:08:38,644 --> 00:08:40,437 ...to rename everything after Ronald Reagan. 140 00:08:40,896 --> 00:08:43,315 "All Millard Fillmore Schools are now Ronald Reagans. 141 00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:46,089 The Mississippi River is now the Mississippi Reagan. 142 00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:50,708 And my good friend Frankenstein is now Frankenreagan. Bleh! 143 00:08:51,490 --> 00:08:54,201 Excellent. Now, to the matter at hand. 144 00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:57,308 Whom will we put up for young Wilcox's Congressional seat? 145 00:08:57,871 --> 00:09:00,290 Gentlemen, I am your candidate. 146 00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:03,283 Maybe Bob Dole should run. Bob Dole thinks Bob Dole should. 147 00:09:03,836 --> 00:09:06,505 Bob Dole likes to hear Bob Dole talk about Bob Dole. 148 00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:08,089 Bob Dole. 149 00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:10,040 We want Krusty. 150 00:09:10,425 --> 00:09:11,854 We want Krusty. 151 00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:13,501 Uh, just one thing. 152 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:16,525 Are you guys any good at covering up youthful... 153 00:09:17,099 --> 00:09:18,851 ...and middle-aged "indiscretions"? 154 00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:23,157 Are these indiscretions romantic, financial or treasonous? 155 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,284 Russian hooker. You tell me. 156 00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:28,506 Oh, no problem. We'll say you were on a fact-finding mission. 157 00:09:29,111 --> 00:09:32,041 I did find out one fact: She was a guy. 158 00:09:32,656 --> 00:09:35,002 Well, if Eddie Murphy can go on to do Dr. Dolittle... 159 00:09:35,534 --> 00:09:36,962 ...I suppose we can make this work. 160 00:09:37,369 --> 00:09:39,861 Congratulations, Krusty. You're running for Congress. 161 00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:43,969 Why don't you pound that sign into your own lawn? 162 00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:46,326 Eh, I'm still undecided. 163 00:09:49,548 --> 00:09:52,728 I vow to reach out to the Latino community. 164 00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:00,215 - Aie-yai-yai! - What'd I say? 165 00:10:00,684 --> 00:10:03,249 You said, "You're going to vomit on their mother's graves." 166 00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:06,773 Oh, so that's why my maid quit. 167 00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:10,840 I was the first clown to put a woman in sketches. 168 00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:13,353 Miss Bada Boom Boom Boom. 169 00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:16,241 She had more acting talent in one boob... 170 00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:19,130 ...than most women have in their entire rack. 171 00:10:20,996 --> 00:10:22,643 Yeah, you with the million-dollar gams. 172 00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:28,451 Don't you see? He's pointing out how sexist men can be. 173 00:10:29,171 --> 00:10:31,288 Yeah, listen to the tomato with the melons. 174 00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:37,054 Oh, three-bean salad. 175 00:10:37,513 --> 00:10:39,014 Sorry. You can't join us. 176 00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:41,329 This is a hundred-dollar-a-plate fundraiser. 177 00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:43,529 For 200, you get a picture with me. 178 00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:46,021 For a thousand, I can have somebody whacked. 179 00:10:49,233 --> 00:10:50,807 Uh, it's a joke. 180 00:10:51,235 --> 00:10:54,561 When you give me that look, it's a joke. 181 00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:57,501 I'll have some more salad. 182 00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:59,983 This is Kent Brockman with a special live report... 183 00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:02,944 ...from the headquarters of Krusty opponent John Armstrong. 184 00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,071 How can I prove we're live? 185 00:11:05,499 --> 00:11:07,616 Penis. Now, here's the candidate. 186 00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:11,202 Krusty is an insensitive bore, unfit for public office. 187 00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:14,508 Take a look at this incredibly offensive sketch from his show. 188 00:11:16,385 --> 00:11:19,242 I shall now call the roll. France. 189 00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:24,862 Oh, my cheese, she stinks. No, wait. It's me. 190 00:11:25,769 --> 00:11:30,128 - Jamaica. - Hey, man. I call for a joint session. 191 00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:33,433 This vote is dreadlocked. 192 00:11:33,986 --> 00:11:35,341 San Francisco. 193 00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:39,512 Hello there, sailor. I'm here and fabulous. 194 00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:42,546 Now, I'd like to make a motion. Woo! 195 00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:46,790 You can't judge me by that sketch. 196 00:11:47,291 --> 00:11:50,325 It was a different time, 1998. 197 00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:56,425 Those jets keep going lower and lower. 198 00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:00,344 Sorry. 199 00:12:03,307 --> 00:12:04,693 Krusty, we're desperate here. 200 00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:07,404 We need you to turn your campaign around. 201 00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:11,231 Is it the Jewish thing? Because I can change that. 202 00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:15,454 I'm Carlton Witherspoon III. Where's my five iron? 203 00:12:16,153 --> 00:12:18,603 Krusty, I don't usually give advice to Republicans. 204 00:12:19,156 --> 00:12:21,533 But it would be nice to be on the winning side for once. 205 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:24,672 You have to start making an honest connection with the voters. 206 00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:28,540 Talk about how you can help regular families, like ours. 207 00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:33,806 Help regular families, make an honest connection. 208 00:12:34,630 --> 00:12:37,299 Krusty, why did you just drop your pants? 209 00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:39,530 I needed a joke to go out on. 210 00:12:47,476 --> 00:12:49,050 Let me tell you all a story. 211 00:12:49,478 --> 00:12:51,522 When the network offered me 50 grand a week... 212 00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:54,368 ...I threw my caviar in their face. 213 00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:57,017 No. Connect. 214 00:12:57,528 --> 00:13:00,854 Uh, because I was thinking about the American family. 215 00:13:01,532 --> 00:13:03,064 One family in particular... 216 00:13:03,492 --> 00:13:05,244 ...who was stepped on by the government... 217 00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:07,423 ...and had nowhere else to turn. 218 00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:10,541 - Boring. - I'm talking about the Simpsons. 219 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,124 Let him speak. 220 00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:15,243 You know what? I'll never stop fighting for them. 221 00:13:15,838 --> 00:13:18,913 Or for any other family that needs someone to stand up for them. 222 00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:22,042 I like that clown. 223 00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:25,983 He's really looking out for me, the average Joe Sixtooth. 224 00:13:26,682 --> 00:13:28,256 Where'd you get yourself another tooth? 225 00:13:28,684 --> 00:13:29,684 Sidewalk. 226 00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:33,126 If you send me to Washington, you'll all have a voice. 227 00:13:33,772 --> 00:13:34,772 A voice that will go: 228 00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:38,902 Ahooga! Wah-wah! Wacka-wacka-wacka! 229 00:13:41,697 --> 00:13:42,979 Krusty. Krusty. 230 00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:46,983 People, tell me your problems. I'll fix them all. 231 00:13:47,619 --> 00:13:49,486 The government wants to shut me down... 232 00:13:49,955 --> 00:13:51,894 ...the pipes under my toilet don't lead nowhere. 233 00:13:52,374 --> 00:13:54,974 Elect me and I promise those pipes will lead to a better tomorrow. 234 00:13:57,379 --> 00:13:59,245 I gotta go. Don't forget to vote. 235 00:13:59,715 --> 00:14:02,238 And watch out for the 612. 236 00:14:05,095 --> 00:14:06,847 Welcome to Fox News. Your voice for evil. 237 00:14:07,306 --> 00:14:09,349 We'll be interviewing the top two candidates... 238 00:14:09,850 --> 00:14:11,862 ...for Springfield's 24th Congressional district. 239 00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:15,981 For the Republicans, beloved children's entertainer, Krusty the Klown. 240 00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:18,338 And for the Democrats, this guy. 241 00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:19,817 I have a name. 242 00:14:20,110 --> 00:14:21,789 Yes, I'm sure you do, comrade. 243 00:14:22,237 --> 00:14:25,970 I do appreciate your being here, you're usually so mired in sleaze... 244 00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,817 ...it must be an effort to come down to the studio. 245 00:14:29,328 --> 00:14:31,371 - May I say something? - Certainly, congressman. 246 00:14:31,872 --> 00:14:33,405 He hasn't won yet. 247 00:14:33,832 --> 00:14:35,480 You make a very adulterous point. 248 00:14:35,918 --> 00:14:38,702 We will now conclude this debate with a Krusty campaign commercial. 249 00:14:43,926 --> 00:14:46,814 When a man loves his country. 250 00:14:47,429 --> 00:14:49,400 Like Krusty loves America. 251 00:14:49,890 --> 00:14:52,559 Krusty the Klown, the man from funny. 252 00:14:53,143 --> 00:14:56,845 I've brought laughter to your homes three days a week, 18 weeks a year... 253 00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,723 ...for 12 of the past 25 years. 254 00:15:00,484 --> 00:15:04,728 But whenever America has needed me, I've been there. 255 00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:13,883 Photographs have been modified to include Krusty. 256 00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:19,492 Election night is so exciting. I'm on pins and needles. 257 00:15:20,212 --> 00:15:21,640 And I'm on Pepto and Xanax. 258 00:15:22,047 --> 00:15:25,300 I'm so nervous, I kissed my dog and gave my girlfriend a flea bath. 259 00:15:25,968 --> 00:15:27,980 Laugh it up. That joke cost me a thousand bucks. 260 00:15:28,470 --> 00:15:31,723 We're ready to announce a winner in Springfield's 24th Congressional District. 261 00:15:34,893 --> 00:15:36,134 Yay! 262 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:38,678 I won. I'm a senator. 263 00:15:39,189 --> 00:15:41,056 - Congressman. - Whatever. 264 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:47,604 I swear to uphold and protect the Constitution of these United States. 265 00:15:48,365 --> 00:15:51,003 So relax, gun nuts. I can't touch you. 266 00:15:54,329 --> 00:15:58,177 I'd like to introduce a bill banning air travel over residential areas. 267 00:15:58,917 --> 00:16:00,638 Hey, hey. 268 00:16:01,295 --> 00:16:02,348 What are you? An idiot? 269 00:16:02,713 --> 00:16:04,537 Freshmen congressmen don't introduce squat. 270 00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:07,123 You gotta pee in a bucket until your second term. 271 00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:10,272 But how am I supposed to serve my constituents? 272 00:16:10,846 --> 00:16:13,922 You can start by scrubbing off some of this Capitol Hill graffiti. 273 00:16:14,850 --> 00:16:17,561 You got a lot of work ahead of you. 274 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,449 Grover Cleveland sucks what? 275 00:16:20,939 --> 00:16:22,952 Leave that, lest we forget. 276 00:16:23,442 --> 00:16:27,143 Someone on this fakakta committee's gotta care about my Air Traffic bill. 277 00:16:27,863 --> 00:16:29,031 I'm sorry, congressman. 278 00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:31,752 But this is a committee for designing dollar coins... 279 00:16:32,284 --> 00:16:33,337 ...no one will use. 280 00:16:33,702 --> 00:16:36,559 I say we make them out of chocolate. Kids eat them. Why fight it? 281 00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:38,551 Oh, I need some air. 282 00:16:38,957 --> 00:16:41,262 Do you need some hot air? We congressmen are full of it. 283 00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:42,793 I blather on for hours. 284 00:16:43,086 --> 00:16:45,464 Yap-yap-yap-yap-yap-yap! 285 00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:51,677 There he is. 286 00:16:51,887 --> 00:16:55,036 Krusty, we came to see how many campaign promises you've kept. 287 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:58,863 Uh, let's see. Did I promise to be a slave to big oil? 288 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:00,906 - No. - Well, then none. 289 00:17:01,313 --> 00:17:03,179 Krusty, I can't believe you're giving up. 290 00:17:03,649 --> 00:17:06,026 I thought you'd make a difference. I voted for you. 291 00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:08,101 How could you vote? You're only 10. 292 00:17:08,529 --> 00:17:10,468 This is not about me. Or how many times I voted. 293 00:17:10,948 --> 00:17:13,252 You were gonna get rid of the airplanes over our house. 294 00:17:13,784 --> 00:17:15,317 And now they're worse than ever. 295 00:17:15,744 --> 00:17:17,392 Krusty, you've let everyone down. 296 00:17:17,829 --> 00:17:21,051 And even worse, you let down this sacred document. 297 00:17:23,585 --> 00:17:26,401 You're right. It's time I made a difference. 298 00:17:28,632 --> 00:17:31,124 Dad, this is a kid's menu where you help Yogi Bear... 299 00:17:31,677 --> 00:17:33,251 ...get to the Washington Monument. 300 00:17:33,679 --> 00:17:36,129 Stained with the blood of American patriots. 301 00:17:36,682 --> 00:17:39,716 - That's jelly. - From the unknown toaster. 302 00:17:40,602 --> 00:17:42,281 I came here for a reason. 303 00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:45,837 And I will not be silent until... 304 00:17:46,483 --> 00:17:48,902 Hey, where is everybody? 305 00:17:49,444 --> 00:17:51,603 No one usually shows up unless there's a vote. 306 00:17:52,114 --> 00:17:54,794 - Well, then why are you here? - I steal stuff when everyone's gone. 307 00:17:56,702 --> 00:17:58,933 My Christmas shopping's done. 308 00:18:05,085 --> 00:18:07,973 - Poor Krusty. - We gotta do something to help him. 309 00:18:08,589 --> 00:18:10,601 Yeah. And to make things even more suspenseful... 310 00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:13,948 ...our plane leaves in a half-hour. 311 00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:17,577 Excuse me. I think I can help. 312 00:18:18,015 --> 00:18:20,277 I've been working in this town for a long time... 313 00:18:20,809 --> 00:18:22,780 ...and, well, I know how to get things done. 314 00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:24,698 Beat it, Waxie. 315 00:18:25,105 --> 00:18:28,473 No. Let's hear him out. He looks a little like Walter Mondale. 316 00:18:29,151 --> 00:18:33,468 Yeah, looks like. Let's just say I know how a bill becomes law. 317 00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:35,281 Oh, that's easy. 318 00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:37,868 First it's introduced, then it goes to committee, then... 319 00:18:38,410 --> 00:18:41,121 Wrong. That's wrong. 320 00:18:41,705 --> 00:18:44,447 Now, I'll show you how things really work around here. 321 00:18:45,209 --> 00:18:46,209 Sorry, Krusty. 322 00:18:46,460 --> 00:18:49,171 But there's no way I'm letting your airline rerouting bill... 323 00:18:49,755 --> 00:18:50,996 ...out of committee. 324 00:18:51,757 --> 00:18:55,125 Congressman, I have a tape here of you using your free mail privilege... 325 00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:57,815 ...to send a get-well card to your aunt. 326 00:18:58,305 --> 00:19:01,047 Ah! If they hear about this in Modesto, I'm ruined. 327 00:19:03,018 --> 00:19:04,447 Maybe I wanted to be caught. 328 00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:10,098 Now, Homer, that southern congressman is your biggest obstacle. 329 00:19:10,859 --> 00:19:14,592 Your job is to drink him under the table so he misses the vote. 330 00:19:15,322 --> 00:19:16,322 You think you can do it? 331 00:19:16,657 --> 00:19:19,660 Sir, I studied under Ed McMahon. 332 00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:24,070 How about a drinking contest, boy? Right after I vote on the latest bill. 333 00:19:24,790 --> 00:19:25,999 - How about before? - Ha! 334 00:19:26,375 --> 00:19:28,679 You remind me of my high school drinking coach. 335 00:19:29,211 --> 00:19:31,004 Now, enough talking. Let's drink. 336 00:19:32,923 --> 00:19:36,875 Now, your job is to attach Krusty's bill to a more popular bill. 337 00:19:37,636 --> 00:19:39,023 One that can't fail. 338 00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:43,131 The House will now consider the Flags for Orphans bill. 339 00:19:44,518 --> 00:19:46,489 Okay, paperclip, do your stuff. 340 00:19:48,438 --> 00:19:51,149 Now, we just need a distraction. 341 00:19:51,733 --> 00:19:55,320 You call this a bicameral legislature? 342 00:20:03,328 --> 00:20:06,363 I say, I say, my groin. 343 00:20:09,084 --> 00:20:14,360 We will now vote on the Flags for Orphans and Airline Rerouting Bill? 344 00:20:15,299 --> 00:20:19,365 Oh, well, it's paper-clipped. Chairman Hayes, any objections? 345 00:20:21,972 --> 00:20:23,025 Congressman Beauregard? 346 00:20:26,852 --> 00:20:28,791 I don't wanna fight no Union. 347 00:20:29,271 --> 00:20:30,877 - All in favor? - Aye. 348 00:20:31,315 --> 00:20:32,774 Motion carried. 349 00:20:33,192 --> 00:20:34,797 The system works. 350 00:20:35,235 --> 00:20:38,895 I've become enchanted and illusioned with Washington. 351 00:20:39,615 --> 00:20:42,430 And the reason it worked is because you all did your part. 352 00:20:43,035 --> 00:20:44,463 But I didn't do anything. 353 00:20:44,870 --> 00:20:47,539 I just passed the bill in three hours. Quit complaining. 354 00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:53,702 At last those planes are flying where they belong. 355 00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:58,102 That's right, over the homes of poor people.