1 00:00:02,878 --> 00:00:05,370 The Simpsons. 2 00:00:05,923 --> 00:00:07,049 The Bart of War. 3 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:56,984 Next on Comedy Central, South Park. 4 00:00:57,599 --> 00:01:00,310 I hear those kids' voices are done by grown-ups. 5 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,135 Hey, nothing wrong with that. 6 00:01:02,521 --> 00:01:05,190 I just wonder how they keep it so fresh after 43 episodes. 7 00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:08,944 I can't believe we paid to see Steve Guttenberg... 8 00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:11,506 ...Calista Flockhart and Farty the crippled robot. 9 00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:12,590 ...Calista Flockhart and Farty the crippled robot. 10 00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:14,335 Look who's in my fart. O.J. 11 00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:17,724 I'm gonna kill you all. 12 00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:24,595 Cartoon violence. Cartoon violence. 13 00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:27,327 Now, I'm gonna find the real killer. 14 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,987 Kids, that cartoon's not life-affirming. 15 00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:35,053 We're going to watch a show about the everyday problems of angels. 16 00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,994 Now back to Good Heavens. 17 00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:40,674 - Jesus called today. - He did? 18 00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:44,688 I'm bored. 19 00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:47,743 Hey, I've got an idea. Let's tie a string around a fly. 20 00:01:48,317 --> 00:01:51,278 Cool. Do you think bugs feel pain? 21 00:01:51,904 --> 00:01:54,500 If they don't, I've wasted a lot of my life. 22 00:01:56,742 --> 00:01:57,742 I wish I could fly. 23 00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:00,266 Then I'd be the most popular kid in school. 24 00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:02,362 Knowing you, you'd mess it up somehow. 25 00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:20,297 The fly is stuck in Flanders' house. 26 00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:23,800 - I'll go contact the nearest adult. - There's no time. We're going in. 27 00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:28,909 - My eyeglass repair kit. - Let it go. 28 00:02:34,947 --> 00:02:36,886 Well, what do you know? Cats eat flies. 29 00:02:37,366 --> 00:02:39,524 Sometimes I wish a cat would eat me. 30 00:02:40,035 --> 00:02:43,549 Dude, we're in Flanders' house, unsupervised. 31 00:02:44,248 --> 00:02:46,218 Wow, let's go nuts. 32 00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:52,287 Bright, brighter, brightest, off. Bright, brighter, brightest, off. 33 00:02:55,259 --> 00:02:56,645 That is so gay. 34 00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:04,132 These losers are out of peanut butter. 35 00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:05,811 I know how to make some. 36 00:03:07,062 --> 00:03:09,773 Peanuts, butter. 37 00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:11,713 Now, we just put the top on. 38 00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:14,559 Hey, I didn't get where I am putting tops on things. 39 00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:20,430 Now, let's make jelly. 40 00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:26,842 I feel like luge silver medalist Barbara Niedernhuber. 41 00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:41,701 Wow, Mr. Flanders is really into the Beatles. 42 00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:43,264 What are the Beatles? 43 00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,715 They wrote all the songs on Maggie's baby records. 44 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:52,503 "John Lemon, Orange Harrison, Paul Mclced Tea, Mango Starr"? 45 00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:56,622 Hey, Bart, how about a blast from the past? 46 00:03:57,571 --> 00:04:01,377 A 40-year-old novelty beverage? Hand it over. 47 00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:22,179 Yellow matter custard dripping from a dead dog's eye. 48 00:04:22,846 --> 00:04:25,036 I don't feel so fab. 49 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:30,625 The folks at the senior center will love that peach tree we planted. 50 00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:33,127 I wish we could see their happy faces. 51 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,578 - Sin of pride, Roddy. - I'm sorry. 52 00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:37,674 Sin of regret. 53 00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:45,108 Ah! The house is slightly askew. To the panic room! 54 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:53,575 Daddy, I'm scared. 55 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:57,329 Scared of what? The funny camp songs we're gonna sing? 56 00:04:58,006 --> 00:04:59,727 We'll be safe inside our fortress. 57 00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:01,562 When they come. 58 00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:04,972 We'll be safe from creeps and killers When they come. 59 00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:08,819 Unless they have a blow torch Or a poison gas injector. 60 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:12,333 Then I don't know what'll happen When they come. 61 00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:17,484 Okay, home invaders, we don't want to hurt you. 62 00:05:18,110 --> 00:05:20,925 - We just want to talk. - Well, if you just wanna talk... 63 00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:23,574 ...talk about Eddie sleeping with my ex-wife. 64 00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:25,200 The divorce was final. 65 00:05:25,576 --> 00:05:28,099 - When is a divorce ever final? - All right, let's move in. 66 00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:38,589 All right, perps. We know you're in here somewhere. 67 00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:50,778 Well, well, well, looks like a couple of punks... 68 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,510 ...are gonna be taking the last train to Clarksville. 69 00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:55,981 - That's the Monkees, chief. - Go wait in the car. 70 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,233 Fine. It was the Monkees. 71 00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,194 Please don't call our parents. 72 00:06:00,611 --> 00:06:03,207 I'm afraid I have to for hijinks like these. 73 00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:07,253 Ha, hijinks. Funny word. Three dotted letters in a row. 74 00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:10,475 - Is it hyphenated? - It used to be. Back in the bad old days. 75 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:13,926 Of course, every generation hyphenates the way it wants to. 76 00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:15,782 Then there's ♪NSYNC. Ha! 77 00:06:16,168 --> 00:06:17,263 What the hell is that? 78 00:06:17,628 --> 00:06:19,525 Jump in anytime, Eddie. These are good topics. 79 00:06:24,510 --> 00:06:27,586 Oh, Ned, I am so sorry. 80 00:06:28,222 --> 00:06:30,119 I never knew you were such a Beatles fan. 81 00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:32,611 Of course I am. They were bigger than Jesus. 82 00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:35,812 But your boy went Yoko and broke up my collection. 83 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,825 Hey, boys will be boys. 84 00:06:38,232 --> 00:06:40,828 I am so tired of that tautology. 85 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,401 It's not all his fault. 86 00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:44,373 I blame this latchkey kid. 87 00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:46,135 People, people, calm down. 88 00:06:46,532 --> 00:06:48,210 Both these kids are total write-offs. 89 00:06:48,659 --> 00:06:50,139 Uh, I assume you're pressing charges? 90 00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:53,705 - Because I get paid by the charge. - Courts aren't fit to keep children in line. 91 00:06:54,373 --> 00:06:56,733 They're good for telling women what to do with their bodies. 92 00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:59,701 What these boys need is adult supervision. 93 00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:03,330 You are so right, Ned. There won't be a single minute... 94 00:07:03,966 --> 00:07:06,416 ...where Bart's not under the watchful eye of myself or... 95 00:07:06,969 --> 00:07:08,282 Homer, get over here. 96 00:07:08,679 --> 00:07:11,098 Hee, hee, look at me. I'm Brian Epstein. 97 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:12,995 Now I'm Michael Jackson. 98 00:07:13,392 --> 00:07:15,477 "I own all your songs, losers." 99 00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:21,410 Here are some supervised activities we can all do together. 100 00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:24,371 "Future Veterans of Foreign Wars." 101 00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:26,655 - "The 5-H Club." - Five-H? 102 00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:29,752 - They had to admit homosexuals. - Hmm. 103 00:07:30,325 --> 00:07:32,296 How come I'm not doing this stuff with Milhouse? 104 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,830 You won't be seeing Milhouse for a while. 105 00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:38,114 Something about that boy just shakes up your soda. 106 00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:40,023 Oh, this looks interesting. 107 00:07:40,419 --> 00:07:42,171 "The Pre-Teen Braves." 108 00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:47,968 Hey, these freaks do a lot of cool stuff. Cookouts, hayrides, bowling. 109 00:07:48,844 --> 00:07:50,783 Just like real Indians. 110 00:07:51,263 --> 00:07:53,202 Dad, maybe you could lead Bart's tribe. 111 00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:55,402 You mean, like some sort of madman? 112 00:07:55,851 --> 00:07:57,676 - Ideally, no, but... - I'll do it. 113 00:07:59,104 --> 00:08:01,075 I am Homer tribal chief. 114 00:08:01,565 --> 00:08:03,942 I am wearing tiny briefs. 115 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:08,874 Braves teach values boys should know Now extended drum solo. 116 00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:27,977 Hey! I will now give each of you your specially selected tribal name. 117 00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:29,989 Pick one. 118 00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:34,316 I am "Burger With Fries." Man, is that uninspired. 119 00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:38,581 Let's see. What Native American activity should we do? 120 00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:42,700 "Making wallets, faking crop circles, respecting nature"? 121 00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:45,588 Jeez, no wonder these guys lost the Civil War. 122 00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:48,195 Hey, Lazy Horse, find us something cool to do. 123 00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:55,087 The noble Chiefs outsmarted the treacherous Cowboys... 124 00:08:55,661 --> 00:08:57,339 ...with a seven-yard screen pass. 125 00:08:57,788 --> 00:09:02,657 Unfortunately, after further review, the Great Father in the sky determined... 126 00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:06,651 ...that the receiver's moccasins were out of bounds. 127 00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:09,456 I shall bet no more forever. 128 00:09:09,967 --> 00:09:13,001 I don't think Dad is accurately portraying Native American life. 129 00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:16,452 Yeah. Indians don't sit around drinking beer and watching TV. 130 00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:19,153 I smell smoke. 131 00:09:19,518 --> 00:09:21,416 Without the talking stick, we don't hear you. 132 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,616 - I smell smoke. - Aah! 133 00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:28,734 I see you braves... 134 00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:30,956 - ...received our smoke signal. - Wow. 135 00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:32,656 - Neato. - Awesome. 136 00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:35,377 Oh, no. The Pawnee have returned. 137 00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,661 They probably want their souls back. 138 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:40,205 Wow, Mom. I wish you were our tribe leader. 139 00:09:40,706 --> 00:09:44,366 Hail to our new chief, the surprisingly hot Mrs. Simpson. 140 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,869 Oh, well, thank you. I'm gonna make sure you boys have... 141 00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:51,133 ...the best possible Pre-Teen Brave experience. 142 00:09:51,717 --> 00:09:54,824 But I was chosen by the Great Spirit to teach these young braves... 143 00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:58,286 ...the ways of the antelope and the ear of corn... 144 00:09:58,891 --> 00:10:02,738 ...which we call maize, that the papoose... 145 00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:05,011 Oh, I'll be at Moe's talking normal. 146 00:10:08,901 --> 00:10:10,475 Nelson, leggings? 147 00:10:10,903 --> 00:10:13,541 No way. If my old man sees me in these, he'll kill me. 148 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:17,075 - You haven't seen your dad in years. - Hey, today might be the day. 149 00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:18,827 Nelson? 150 00:10:21,205 --> 00:10:23,551 Papa, is that you? 151 00:10:24,082 --> 00:10:25,907 You came back from the store. 152 00:10:27,753 --> 00:10:28,879 Who is he talking to? 153 00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:32,403 Let's admire Nelson's love of nature. 154 00:10:33,050 --> 00:10:37,043 Papa. Papa. Never leave me again. 155 00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:40,297 All right, everyone inside. Let's go. 156 00:10:42,893 --> 00:10:46,886 Our nature walk will be hosted by a full-blooded Native American. 157 00:10:47,648 --> 00:10:50,390 Say hello to Jim Proudfoot from the Mohican tribe. 158 00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:53,143 Mohican? I thought you guys were all gone. 159 00:10:53,654 --> 00:10:56,219 No, but we encourage the myth. 160 00:10:56,782 --> 00:10:59,013 Chicks really dig you when you're the last of something. 161 00:10:59,535 --> 00:11:02,392 Uh, are we on Indian land? 162 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,342 It once was. My tribe's land stretched... 163 00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:09,534 ...from that Krusty Burger down to Gary's Waterbed Warehouse. 164 00:11:10,254 --> 00:11:11,254 Wow! 165 00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:15,530 The Great Spirit blessed us with beauty and abundance. 166 00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:26,958 The land gave birth to the trees, the animals frolicked in the waters... 167 00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:30,545 ...and the wind was so gentle it would tie your shoes for you. 168 00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:35,988 But that harmony has been shattered, and now the land weeps. 169 00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:46,999 Hey, treadmill, how do you like this incline? 170 00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,809 Uh, I'm giving it back to the earth. 171 00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:03,140 - What are we gonna do to that field? - Clean it. 172 00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:05,809 - And why are we gonna do it? - Liberal guilt. 173 00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:07,331 Yay! 174 00:12:07,686 --> 00:12:09,511 I'm so proud of what you guys are doing... 175 00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:11,627 ...I even tipped off the local paper. 176 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:14,557 She sure did. And I've already got the perfect headline. 177 00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:18,666 "Activity Participated In By Some." Hey, that's great. 178 00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:23,963 Let's go, boys. 179 00:12:24,328 --> 00:12:26,517 Make sure you use Pine-Sol on those pine trees... 180 00:12:27,039 --> 00:12:28,790 ...for that pine fresh smell. 181 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,928 Papa? 182 00:12:31,877 --> 00:12:34,400 Oh, for God's sakes, I can see why he left. 183 00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:37,007 Now, all of you, get cleaning. 184 00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:46,767 Hey. Some jerks cleaned our field. 185 00:12:47,184 --> 00:12:49,561 It's awful. It looks like Wisconsin. 186 00:12:52,189 --> 00:12:56,766 I hereby declare this area cleaned up by the Cavalry Kids. 187 00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:02,126 Whoops. Ooh. Uh... 188 00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:03,574 It was already dead. 189 00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:10,916 Boy, I got up on the wrong side of the futon today. 190 00:13:11,542 --> 00:13:15,170 - Cavalry Kids? That's pathetic. - We're the bad boys... 191 00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:18,257 ...of non-denominational community youth groups. 192 00:13:18,799 --> 00:13:20,332 Surely there's room in this town... 193 00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:23,501 ...for two well-meaning juvenile associations. 194 00:13:24,096 --> 00:13:27,464 Yeah. But the Girl Scouts already control the south side. 195 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:31,144 Then I guess this means war. 196 00:13:36,525 --> 00:13:37,912 Will you be my mommy? 197 00:13:40,654 --> 00:13:42,260 You smell like dead bunnies. 198 00:13:47,619 --> 00:13:50,987 Cavalry Kids are bigger credit hogs than the Red Cross. 199 00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:53,166 I must disagree, Mrs. Bart. 200 00:13:53,584 --> 00:13:56,295 They've painted this town with a fresh coat of give-a-hoot. 201 00:13:56,879 --> 00:13:59,736 Well, you ain't seen nothing until you've seen the Pre-Teen Braves. 202 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:01,769 Pre-Teen Braves? 203 00:14:02,176 --> 00:14:04,480 Another of those youth groups that apes the cultures... 204 00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:07,128 ...of indigenous peoples you invaded and destroyed? 205 00:14:07,639 --> 00:14:08,492 Exactly. The Pre-Teen Braves. 206 00:14:08,516 --> 00:14:10,121 Exactly. The Pre-Teen Braves. 207 00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:15,335 Go ahead and hate your neighbor Go ahead and cheat a friend. 208 00:14:15,939 --> 00:14:20,256 Do it in the name of Heaven You can justify it in the end. 209 00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:26,106 There won't be any trumpets blowing Come the judgment day. 210 00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:29,661 On the bloody morning after. 211 00:14:31,455 --> 00:14:32,455 Hey. 212 00:14:32,664 --> 00:14:35,918 One tin soldier rides away. 213 00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,544 Hello, I'm heavyweight champ, Drederick Tatum... 214 00:14:48,055 --> 00:14:50,575 ...here to issue a challenge to the youth groups of Springfield. 215 00:14:51,058 --> 00:14:52,778 Whichever one sells the most candy... 216 00:14:53,227 --> 00:14:56,626 ...will be honorary batboys at the nextlsotopes home game. 217 00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:01,850 Proceeds will go towards keeping people like me off the streets. 218 00:15:02,444 --> 00:15:05,812 I can't help myself. Punch and grope. Punch and grope. It's all I was taught. 219 00:15:06,490 --> 00:15:08,283 This is a perfect opportunity. 220 00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:11,411 We'll beat those Cavalry Kids by selling candy. 221 00:15:13,205 --> 00:15:14,925 I'm a brick. 222 00:15:15,666 --> 00:15:18,085 "We will crush you and smother your dreams. 223 00:15:18,627 --> 00:15:20,525 Yours in Christ, the Cavalry Kids." 224 00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:23,350 Marge, you were an excellent peacetime chief... 225 00:15:23,882 --> 00:15:26,228 ...but these times call for men of cruelty. 226 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:30,931 Oh, it's too tight. Take it off. Take it off. Take it off. 227 00:15:31,723 --> 00:15:33,621 Men of cruelty. 228 00:15:47,072 --> 00:15:48,720 Okay, Bart. Back up the truck. 229 00:15:51,577 --> 00:15:53,224 Mr. Leonard, Mr. Carlson? 230 00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:55,779 Would you like to buy some candy bars for charity? 231 00:15:56,290 --> 00:15:57,690 Oh, sure. We were just gonna buy... 232 00:15:57,916 --> 00:16:00,408 ...the same candy inside the store but for less. 233 00:16:04,131 --> 00:16:07,718 Oh, man, that went south quick. I gotta find a bathroom. 234 00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,460 Your candy is tainted. 235 00:16:10,929 --> 00:16:14,224 The batboy prize is forever beyond your reach. 236 00:16:14,892 --> 00:16:17,968 Candy for sale. Get your unpoisoned candy. 237 00:16:18,604 --> 00:16:20,543 It's laxative-free for today's lifestyle. 238 00:16:21,023 --> 00:16:23,327 Melts in your mouth, not in your pants. 239 00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:27,665 Greetings, Springfielders. 240 00:16:28,155 --> 00:16:30,199 It gives me pleasure to announce the group... 241 00:16:30,699 --> 00:16:32,305 ...which has sold the most candy. 242 00:16:32,743 --> 00:16:35,485 Could everyone please lean forward expectantly? 243 00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,127 "The Cavalry Kids." 244 00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:44,411 Yes! All right! 245 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:46,381 Oh, the indignity. 246 00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:50,573 Wait a minute. How could those stupid jarheads win? 247 00:16:51,136 --> 00:16:53,441 Who'd want candy filled with laxatives? 248 00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:58,341 Holy moly. I'm moving like Ginger Rogers. 249 00:16:58,894 --> 00:17:01,855 Looks like this is one time the Indians didn't win. 250 00:17:04,942 --> 00:17:06,547 Well, that's it. They've beaten us. 251 00:17:06,985 --> 00:17:08,779 At least we made a lot of people sick. 252 00:17:09,238 --> 00:17:10,551 Well, I'm not finished. 253 00:17:10,948 --> 00:17:13,106 Where does it say we have to be gracious in defeat? 254 00:17:13,617 --> 00:17:15,369 It's on the back of our vests. 255 00:17:15,827 --> 00:17:18,685 Marge, remove that stitching. 256 00:17:21,625 --> 00:17:23,199 Son, your success has inspired me. 257 00:17:23,627 --> 00:17:27,579 I'm gonna take that bartending course, including today's lighter drinks. 258 00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:33,272 VIP. That's us. 259 00:17:36,431 --> 00:17:38,548 People will do anything a sign tells them. 260 00:17:42,563 --> 00:17:44,940 Ah. Boy, that slaked my thirst. 261 00:17:45,482 --> 00:17:47,933 Or did it? 262 00:17:51,572 --> 00:17:54,283 Dad, we're gonna be late for the game. 263 00:17:54,867 --> 00:17:57,390 Do you have 5 bucks for regular parking? Because I don't. 264 00:18:01,206 --> 00:18:04,762 Welcome, fans of America's favorite pastime... 265 00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:07,327 "Baseball"? Eh. 266 00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:11,237 Here to perform the national anthem are today's honorary batboys... 267 00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:14,595 ...the Cavalry Kids led by Milhouse Van Houten. 268 00:18:16,513 --> 00:18:20,611 After this prank, everyone's gonna hate those Cavalry clods as much as we do. 269 00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:26,627 Oh, say can you see. 270 00:18:27,274 --> 00:18:30,162 Back in row double-Z. 271 00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:33,885 That the team sucks out loud. 272 00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:38,087 And you fans are all plowed. 273 00:18:40,454 --> 00:18:43,384 This is an outrage. The Cavalry Kids must hate America. 274 00:18:43,999 --> 00:18:46,710 Hey, show some respect. My dad died in some war. 275 00:18:47,294 --> 00:18:49,087 You call this a large beer? 276 00:18:54,218 --> 00:18:56,710 It's a hoax. I'm the real Milhouse. 277 00:18:58,597 --> 00:18:59,917 Time to knock off this knock-off. 278 00:19:05,771 --> 00:19:06,771 Pound him, Milhouse. 279 00:19:07,105 --> 00:19:09,598 You talk pretty tough for a man without health insurance. 280 00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:12,569 I'm on federal assistance. Unh! 281 00:19:13,111 --> 00:19:15,343 You lay off my girlfriend's ex-husband. 282 00:19:26,166 --> 00:19:29,054 Jeez, I don't remember this much bad blood when I was a Cavalry Kid. 283 00:19:29,670 --> 00:19:31,056 I was a Pre-Teen Brave. 284 00:19:33,298 --> 00:19:34,393 I sang at your wedding. 285 00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:37,719 Yeah, "The Best Is Yet to Come." Real original. 286 00:19:41,139 --> 00:19:42,599 Oh, jeez, how did this happen? 287 00:19:43,267 --> 00:19:46,270 All I wanted was to glue feathers on felt... 288 00:19:46,895 --> 00:19:49,127 ...and teach the boys good citizenship. 289 00:19:50,899 --> 00:19:53,016 And now it's a donnybrook. 290 00:19:57,197 --> 00:20:00,565 Oh, my God. That's my wife. And she's crying. 291 00:20:02,494 --> 00:20:05,091 Oh, lassie, dry your tears. 292 00:20:05,664 --> 00:20:07,311 Then show us your boobs. 293 00:20:09,459 --> 00:20:12,202 - God, help me. - Dear God, why are we fighting? 294 00:20:12,796 --> 00:20:13,922 I ain't doing any fighting. 295 00:20:15,090 --> 00:20:19,626 Let us end this mindless violence, and join our hands in song. 296 00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:23,546 Aye. Not a hymn to war like our national anthem... 297 00:20:24,183 --> 00:20:28,875 ...but a sweet soothing hymn like the national anthem of Canada. 298 00:20:29,730 --> 00:20:32,180 O Canada. 299 00:20:32,733 --> 00:20:35,371 Our home and native land. 300 00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:39,125 True patriot love. 301 00:20:39,740 --> 00:20:42,816 In all thy sons command. 302 00:20:43,577 --> 00:20:47,206 With glowing hearts we see thee rise. 303 00:20:47,915 --> 00:20:51,022 The True North, strong and free. 304 00:20:51,668 --> 00:20:57,195 O Canada, we stand on guard for thee. 305 00:20:58,175 --> 00:21:00,886 Well, Bart, we've learned that war is not the answer. 306 00:21:01,470 --> 00:21:04,431 - Except to all of America's problems. - Amen.