1
00:00:03,295 --> 00:00:06,255
The Simpsons.

2
00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:11,362
Time to wizz in a
foaming bowl of china.

3
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:14,323
A line for the bathroom?
What gives?

4
00:01:14,491 --> 00:01:16,075
I don't know.
But whoever's in there

5
00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:17,618
is taking their
sweet ol' time.

6
00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:19,328
Son, can I have cuts?
No!

7
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:21,080
Back cuts?
Okay.

8
00:01:21,165 --> 00:01:22,331
Sweet.
Hey!

9
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:26,419
Wait a minute. Lf we're all
out here, who's in there?

10
00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:33,301
Maggie's locked inside!

11
00:01:33,385 --> 00:01:35,845
Now calm down. I'll just
unlock it with this coat hanger.

12
00:01:49,568 --> 00:01:51,360
Oh, God! It's baby blood!

13
00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:53,362
Don't worry.
I know just what to do.

14
00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:00,787
Bart, you're not
hitting hard enough!

15
00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:04,290
How did you get her out?

16
00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:05,792
I tried
the coat hanger again.

17
00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:08,294
I don't understand
why we only try ideas once.

18
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:12,548
The door? Now I'll
never get to pee.

19
00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:17,220
Dr. Hibbert?
Is someone seriously ill?

20
00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:18,679
Oh, I wish!

21
00:02:20,224 --> 00:02:22,975
No, I'm here because of
Bob Poochioni over there.

22
00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:27,188
Two months ago, Santa's
Little Helper paid a bootie call

23
00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:29,357
to my purebred poodle,
Rosa Barks.

24
00:02:31,193 --> 00:02:33,486
And he had his
eyes on her prize.

25
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:35,071
I'm gonna drop
that analogy now.

26
00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:40,743
Well, I'm glad you
think they're cute

27
00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:42,662
because they're
your problem now!

28
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,707
You just lost a box, pal!

29
00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:52,839
Wait. Santa's Little Helper
had puppies before.

30
00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:54,841
And then
we got him neutered.

31
00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:58,261
We did. Homer took him.
Didn't you?

32
00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:02,348
Yeah... Well...
Funny thing about that,

33
00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:05,601
on our way to the clinic,
I decided to give him

34
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,770
a night his wang
would never forget.

35
00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:12,233
So let's dance
the last dance.

36
00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:15,528
Let's dance
the last dance.

37
00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:22,577
Let's dance
this last dance tonight.

38
00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:28,040
Last dance
Last dance for love.

39
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:29,667
Wanna play some air hockey?

40
00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:31,271
Three hundred and
fifty dollars an hour.

41
00:03:31,295 --> 00:03:32,712
You're on!

42
00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:46,475
I can't neuter you, boy.

43
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,561
Not after all
we've been through.

44
00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:50,354
But from now on,
you better save

45
00:03:50,439 --> 00:03:52,106
your lovin' for
the couch cushions.

46
00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:59,572
You broke our deal!
We had an oral contract!

47
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:02,408
Stop it! Stop it, stop it!

48
00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:05,620
You and Lisa better go find
homes for these puppies.

49
00:04:05,704 --> 00:04:08,748
And don't just dump them
all off on some crazy lady.

50
00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:17,715
He's an irritable,
walleyed, misfit, bastard!

51
00:04:18,342 --> 00:04:20,259
Just like Willie.

52
00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:24,096
Hey, mister,
would you like a puppy?

53
00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:25,932
No. But I'll take one!

54
00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:27,016
Okay.

55
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,393
I'm going to cherish
and care for this dog.

56
00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:31,729
And there's nothing
you can do to stop me!

57
00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:42,281
Seen it... Bad... Boring... Saw it
on the plane... Rerun... Rerun...

58
00:04:42,366 --> 00:04:45,952
Telemundo... Me...
Turned it down... ABC...

59
00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:47,703
Banned from
the set... Lame...

60
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,455
Lame... Regis...

61
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:56,921
Let's see,
champagne or Slim Fast?

62
00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:07,974
Boy, that really
passes the time.

63
00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:12,812
Want a puppy?

64
00:05:12,896 --> 00:05:14,016
He's at the peak
of cuteness.

65
00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:19,235
You could nuzzle me
all night.

66
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,904
That's enough.
I said that's enough!

67
00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:28,703
Well, look at this. You dragged
me back to my old neighborhood!

68
00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:30,830
And it hasn't changed a bit.

69
00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:35,418
DSL! DSL! Who will buy
my high-speed connections?

70
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:41,716
Brazilian wax! Get your
velvety smooth, Brazilian wax!

71
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:44,760
Hey, the Jewish
Walk of Fame!

72
00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:47,722
Here, go on Sandy Koufax.

73
00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:50,224
I lost ten grand when he
wouldn't pitch on Yom Kippur!

74
00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:52,435
I did five shows that night!

75
00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:54,937
Okay, boy.
Let's find my star.

76
00:06:02,904 --> 00:06:07,408
Albert Einstein, Lorne Michaels?
Shari Lewis? Lamb Chop!

77
00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:09,827
Why ain't I here?
I'm a bigger name than...

78
00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:13,414
Chaim Potok! What is he?
Some kind of Klingon?

79
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:15,624
I'm gonna get to
the bottom of this.

80
00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:22,798
Well, of course
you deserve a star, Krusty.

81
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:25,051
Let me just ask
you a few questions.

82
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:26,135
Full name?

83
00:06:26,178 --> 00:06:28,179
Herschel Pinchas
Yoracham Krustofski.

84
00:06:28,263 --> 00:06:30,306
Good, good. Circumcision?

85
00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:32,141
And then some!

86
00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:33,726
Date of Bar Mitzvah?

87
00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:37,521
Well, I, uh...
You see, the truth is...

88
00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:38,981
I never had one.

89
00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:40,566
No Bar Mitzvah?

90
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:43,736
In the eyes of God and the Springfield
Jewish Walk of Fame Committee,

91
00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:45,780
you are not a Jewish man!

92
00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:50,076
Now see here! Do you know how
much I donate to the B'nai B'rith?

93
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:51,494
Actually, I do.

94
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,496
Goodbye.

95
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:05,091
Krusty, what's wrong?

96
00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:06,926
I just found out
I'm not Jewish.

97
00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:11,180
Oh, I was turned down by all
those country clubs for nothing!

98
00:07:11,473 --> 00:07:12,765
Well, you're still my hero.

99
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:15,267
So what?
Everything's changed.

100
00:07:15,519 --> 00:07:18,104
I thought I was
a self-hating Jew!

101
00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:21,398
But it turns out, I'm just
a plain old anti-Semite!

102
00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:24,693
We have so much to discuss.

103
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:33,369
Now I know the reason
my life is so empty.

104
00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:36,038
I never had a Bar Mitzvah.

105
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,623
Cheer up, Krusty.
You're a clue

106
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:39,267
in the People magazine
crossword puzzle.

107
00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,001
What more can a man want?

108
00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:43,003
Bart, the Bar Mitzvah
is the most

109
00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:45,089
important event
in a Jewish boy's life.

110
00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:47,550
It's when he reads from the
Torah and becomes a man.

111
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:49,301
The sweet little
shikse's right.

112
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:52,221
Without a Bar Mitzvah,
I'm just a boy

113
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,765
with a prostate
the size of a goat's head!

114
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:58,769
Krusty, your dad's a rabbi. How
could you not have had a Bar Mitzvah?

115
00:07:58,854 --> 00:08:02,356
Who knows? I've lived so hard,
there's big gaps in my memory.

116
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,817
I remember learning
to ride a bike,

117
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,986
then pretty much
nothing till right now.

118
00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:08,404
Why don't we ask your dad?

119
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,990
Yeah, right!
My father will put this

120
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:13,492
in a spiritual,
philosophical context.

121
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,263
I'll tell you why you
didn't have a Bar Mitzvah.

122
00:08:15,287 --> 00:08:17,913
It's because you're a puts.
Everything is a joke to you.

123
00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:20,226
I was afraid you'd make a
mockery out of the whole ceremony,

124
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:22,170
like you're making a mockery
out of me right now.

125
00:08:22,252 --> 00:08:24,920
Maybe I am but you
can't argue with the laughs.

126
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:29,383
So what? It's not my
job to make kids laugh.

127
00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:31,051
Yes, it is.
You're a clown.

128
00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:34,054
Oh, without a Bar Mitzvah,
I'm nothing!

129
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,351
Krusty, you can still have
your Bar Mitzvah, as an adult.

130
00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:42,771
That'd be great.
Are you sure that's kosher?

131
00:08:44,107 --> 00:08:46,483
There's nothing in the
Talmud that forbids it.

132
00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:47,776
How do you know
all this stuff?

133
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:49,361
I have a Jewish
imaginary friend.

134
00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:52,031
Her name is Rachel Cohen
and she just got into Brandeis.

135
00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:53,157
Wonderful!

136
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:02,166
Hey, hey, kids!
I got a confession to make.

137
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:05,961
Underneath all this plastic
surgery, I am actually a Jew!

138
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:08,505
And from now on,
I'm embracing my faith!

139
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:11,842
What's not to like?

140
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:13,594
Now I'll teach
you my traditions,

141
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:16,597
the way my people have
passed them down for centuries,

142
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:18,432
through animation!

143
00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:51,006
Mouse-I Tov!

144
00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:54,593
And that's what
I believe in now!

145
00:09:58,390 --> 00:09:59,890
Krusty, that was
a great show!

146
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:02,286
Once I was clapping and the
applause sign wasn't even on!

147
00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:04,270
Hey, that's great.
But I got a problem.

148
00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:07,314
This schedule has me working
on Saturdays. That's the Sabbath!

149
00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:09,108
Well, we could tape
two shows on Friday.

150
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:10,276
Are you nuts?

151
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:13,445
I can barely get through one
show on Friday! Even with the...

152
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:19,076
You know, smelling flowers?

153
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:22,121
Such expensive flowers,
filled with remorse.

154
00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:24,290
Anyway, we gotta book
a guest host!

155
00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:25,874
How about Jon Stewart?

156
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:30,296
He's a son, a lover and a pundit
rolled into one sexy package!

157
00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:33,799
He'd be perfect!
So forget it!

158
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:37,094
I need a guest host so bad,
he can never replace me.

159
00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:39,305
I need someone
who's not intelligent.

160
00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:41,015
Not good-looking.

161
00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:42,558
And so utterly
repellent, he...

162
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:43,726
I'm your man!

163
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:48,564
Man, are you unpleasant!
You're in!

164
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:55,988
Children, I wish to announce that
our show has undergone a reformatting.

165
00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:02,036
Let's get ready
to listen quietly!

166
00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:08,459
Now tonight's guest host, the
ultimate placeholder, Homer Simpson!

167
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,212
Welcome to
The Homer Simpson Show.

168
00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:14,673
I'm your host, next card.

169
00:11:14,758 --> 00:11:17,801
Homer Simpson, it's great
to be here in, next card.

170
00:11:17,886 --> 00:11:22,056
Springfield, my guests are
Moe Szyslak, local businessman,

171
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:24,266
Carl Carlson, raconteur,

172
00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:26,769
and Lenny Leonard,
three-time juror.

173
00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:29,271
Gentlemen,
what's on your mind?

174
00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:38,989
Dad, you have to say
something. Something meaningful.

175
00:11:41,076 --> 00:11:45,496
You ever notice how seats are too
small for normal looking guys like me?

176
00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:49,083
Theaters, airplanes?
Why even here! Look!

177
00:11:52,128 --> 00:11:54,546
I could not agree more.

178
00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:56,048
Never go on the teacup ride

179
00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:59,927
after eating at Beauty and the
Beast's Fried Dough Chateau.

180
00:12:00,011 --> 00:12:01,136
Hey, I got a question.

181
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:04,556
How come oldies stations are
always playing the same song?

182
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:08,185
How about some
new oldies, geniuses?

183
00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:10,854
Boy, these guys are
right on the money.

184
00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:13,315
Yeah. My neck is sore
from agreeing so much.

185
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:16,402
Hey, baby!
You looking for a good time, huh?

186
00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:19,571
Go home, turn on your
television, Channel Six.

187
00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:20,989
Thanks for the tip!

188
00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:24,993
Yeah, yeah, twins.
I get it. Now let's watch

189
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,162
something I'm really
interested in.

190
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:30,040
Who has more power?
Miss America or Miss USA?

191
00:12:30,125 --> 00:12:32,793
I think one's elected and
the other one's appointed.

192
00:12:32,877 --> 00:12:34,253
I think your water
just broke.

193
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:35,712
Will you be quiet?

194
00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:43,887
Now you can't mix milk
and meat. You got that?

195
00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:46,348
And on Christmas Day,
you must eat Chinese food,

196
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,559
and pork is
strictly forbidden!

197
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:52,855
All these rules! I feel
like I'm in a strip club!

198
00:12:54,649 --> 00:12:56,609
Well, Dad, what do you
want to talk about tonight?

199
00:12:57,819 --> 00:13:00,028
Listen, Homer,
I'd like to raise an issue.

200
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:02,781
Why so formal, Lenny?
You're my go-to guy.

201
00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:04,366
Oh, about that.

202
00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:05,678
You know,
I've been with this show

203
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:07,119
from the beginning
and I was, uh...

204
00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:10,289
I was wondering if I could
get a small cost of living raise?

205
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,332
Interesting.

206
00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:14,918
Please welcome new panelist,
Barney Gumble.

207
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:18,380
That light's a little bright.
You think you can move it?

208
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,801
Please welcome our
newest panelist, Disco Stu.

209
00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:26,096
Disco Stu knows his place.

210
00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:29,433
My husband's
a power-mad star.

211
00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:33,562
Maybe now we can get that
padding that goes under rugs.

212
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:42,237
Very good. You just earned
yourself a Dr. Brown's.

213
00:13:42,906 --> 00:13:45,782
Krusty, you know Diane, Stu,
and Jeremy from the network.

214
00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:47,618
Hey, hey.
Hey, hey. Hey, hey.

215
00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:49,369
Krusty, we've got
some bad news.

216
00:13:49,454 --> 00:13:51,038
We think you're
super talented...

217
00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:53,165
Oh, God!
You're canceling me!

218
00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:58,837
Krusty, Krusty, TV is a fickle
business. You've had a good run.

219
00:13:58,922 --> 00:14:00,964
But Homer Simpson's
a fresh face and...

220
00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:02,401
You're not doing
this fast enough!

221
00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:03,884
You're fired, too!

222
00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:05,385
I'm... No!

223
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,316
Simpson, I hate
to bother you

224
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,193
when you're eating
but you're always eating.

225
00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:23,195
Will you sign
an autograph for my boy?

226
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:24,613
My pleasure.

227
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:26,782
I eat Legos.

228
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:29,785
So did I, son.
And look where I am today.

229
00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:33,539
Boy, everybody loves my show.

230
00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:34,873
It's great, Dad.

231
00:14:34,958 --> 00:14:38,752
You have tremendous power.
And now it's time to put it to use.

232
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:41,797
Yes, you're right.

233
00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:45,759
Duck, Mister Lincoln!

234
00:14:48,263 --> 00:14:49,888
Thank you, Homer.

235
00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:55,561
No, Dad. I mean, you
should use your time on the air

236
00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:58,021
to say things that
really mean something.

237
00:14:58,106 --> 00:14:59,982
Change the world
for the better.

238
00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:03,193
I say live fast, die young,
and leave a big fat corpse!

239
00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:09,157
Well, I took Bart's advice last
week, so I guess it's Lisa's turn.

240
00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:11,577
Now if you'll excuse me...

241
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:20,252
You hit him high!
I'll hit him low!

242
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:29,511
Look, since my
own network dumped me,

243
00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:33,473
I thought maybe I
could do a show on Fox.

244
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:34,933
I'm sorry, Krusty.

245
00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:38,395
People aren't interested in
stars anymore. They want reality.

246
00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:39,479
Way ahead of ya.

247
00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:43,442
How about a show where
girls think I'm a millionaire?

248
00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:46,820
But what they don't know
is I'm rife with disease!

249
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:51,742
Okay, okay. How about one
where I move in with a poor family

250
00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:54,870
and laugh at them?
You see be...

251
00:15:56,664 --> 00:16:01,126
Okay, how about you
televise my Bar Mitzvah? Live.

252
00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:04,963
Please, you people are known
for taking chances on crap.

253
00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:08,717
You know, we've had a
great time on this show

254
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:11,428
riffing on small,
unimportant subjects.

255
00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:12,596
Now wait a minute.

256
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:14,890
Dirty words you can
spell on your calculator

257
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:17,142
is a very important subject.

258
00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:19,269
"Boobs."

259
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:21,897
Just like what girls got.

260
00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:24,107
Well, that's all over now.

261
00:16:24,192 --> 00:16:27,986
From now on, we will focus
solely on important issues.

262
00:16:29,113 --> 00:16:32,366
Every year, the gulf between
rich and poor nations gets larger.

263
00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:37,079
Yet the lMF insists on unrealistic
debt repayment schedules.

264
00:16:38,289 --> 00:16:41,667
This show stinks!
I knew my son would blow it!

265
00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:43,460
Where's the remote?

266
00:16:44,253 --> 00:16:46,922
Oh, it might as well
be in China.

267
00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:49,049
Live from
Springfield Stadium,

268
00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:52,052
it's Krusty the Clown's
Wet 'N' Wild Bar Mitzvah!

269
00:16:52,303 --> 00:16:54,012
Shalom, Springfield!

270
00:16:54,097 --> 00:16:55,180
Shalom.

271
00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:57,140
I can't schmear you!

272
00:16:57,225 --> 00:16:58,600
Shalom!

273
00:17:03,064 --> 00:17:05,315
Now to get you in
the Bar Mitzvah mood,

274
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:10,112
put your hands together for
the Beach Boys Experience!

275
00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:14,658
Mezuzah, menorah
Reading from the Torah.

276
00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:18,829
Pastrami, knishes,
on two sets of dishes.

277
00:17:18,913 --> 00:17:22,791
A church with no steeple
for God's chosen people.

278
00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:27,045
Now let's meet
a man who's muscle-bound

279
00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:29,548
and a man who's bound
not to eat mussels,

280
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:32,676
Mr. T and Krusty the Clown!

281
00:17:33,136 --> 00:17:36,596
T, I haven't seen you
since we roasted Chevy Chase!

282
00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:39,349
Yeah. We were kind of rough
on him. I feel bad for the guy.

283
00:17:39,434 --> 00:17:41,059
You pitied the fool?

284
00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:43,664
That's one way of putting it.
Time for me to get into character.

285
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,445
Let's scroll!

286
00:17:54,532 --> 00:17:57,367
Baruch adonai
hamvorach, fool!

287
00:17:57,660 --> 00:18:01,955
Why should America consume
90 % of the world's resources?

288
00:18:02,665 --> 00:18:06,376
Argentina must devalue
her currency to pay her debts!

289
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:11,006
You can't leave.
I'm your ride home!

290
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:13,383
Dad, you blew it.

291
00:18:13,468 --> 00:18:16,928
You listened to Lisa and then you
lost your stranglehold on the audience.

292
00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:18,555
I'll audience you!

293
00:18:20,975 --> 00:18:24,269
So that's why Bart has all
those broken tracheal bones.

294
00:18:24,896 --> 00:18:26,438
Tight bow tie, my ass!

295
00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:28,440
Now ladies and gentlemen,

296
00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:32,861
put your hands together for the
world's largest potato pancake!

297
00:18:33,321 --> 00:18:35,197
That's a lot of latke!

298
00:18:37,492 --> 00:18:40,660
Three, two, one,
and you're canceled!

299
00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:43,288
Strike the set. You have
five minutes to get off the lot.

300
00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:56,426
Don't worry. This will be
quick and painless.

301
00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:00,347
There we go.

302
00:19:03,226 --> 00:19:05,310
Homie. You may have
lost your show

303
00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:08,146
but you went out in the
classiest way possible.

304
00:19:08,231 --> 00:19:09,606
I'm proud of you.

305
00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:13,527
Marge, I thank God
every day you settled for me.

306
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,238
Hey, where's my car?

307
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:17,405
Oh, over there.

308
00:19:21,369 --> 00:19:24,788
Come on, Homie. We'll go to
the make-your-own-sundae place.

309
00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:26,072
Will you make
my sundae for me?

310
00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:27,207
Yes.

311
00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:33,171
Thank you,
cast of The Lion King.

312
00:19:33,256 --> 00:19:35,340
And now for our
grand finale,

313
00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:39,094
the superstar
of David, Mr. T!

314
00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:43,139
I pity the shul that
won't let Krusty in now!

315
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:44,558
Spin me, clown!

316
00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:52,774
I wish I had
invested my money better.

317
00:20:02,785 --> 00:20:06,329
Krusty, the ratings were good.
Raymond re-run good.

318
00:20:06,831 --> 00:20:10,208
Great. But there's one thing
that's still nagging at me.

319
00:20:10,293 --> 00:20:12,544
I want a real
Bar Mitzvah in a temple.

320
00:20:12,628 --> 00:20:13,670
Wonderful.

321
00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:23,847
I'm hungry.
Are they married yet?

322
00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:25,223
They're not getting married.

323
00:20:25,308 --> 00:20:26,600
Then whose garter is this?

324
00:20:26,684 --> 00:20:28,351
I was trying to
hit the dentist.

325
00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:32,480
And now, finally, I am a man.

326
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:34,941
I pity the fool
who didn't bring

327
00:20:35,026 --> 00:20:37,319
an envelope to
this Bar Mitzvah.

328
00:21:29,747 --> 00:21:30,747
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