1
00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:06,547
The Simpsons.

2
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,241
Happy Thanksgiving from
the entire Channel 6 family

3
00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:34,784
including Kent Brockman,

4
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,786
who's contractually
permitted to replace himself

5
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:38,705
with a cardboard cutout.

6
00:00:38,789 --> 00:00:41,582
The real Kent is
in a rehab clinic.

7
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We all wish him the best...

8
00:00:44,128 --> 00:00:45,294
Again.

9
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:47,505
I love the holiday season.

10
00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:51,134
See ya in spring, toes.

11
00:00:56,598 --> 00:01:00,977
And from all of us, best wishes
for a joyous holiday season.

12
00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:02,979
Now in the spirit
of the season,

13
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,105
start shopping!

14
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And for every dollar of
Krusty merchandise you buy,

15
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I will be nice to a sick kid.

16
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For legal purposes, sick kids
may include hookers with a cold.

17
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It's the most wonderful
time of the year.

18
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With the kids
jingle-belling.

19
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And everyone telling you.

20
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"Be of good cheer"

21
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lt's the most wonderful
time of the year.

22
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Hey, Homer. I'm your Secret
Santa. Merry Christmas, big guy.

23
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Oh, my God! A DVD player!

24
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And the first season
of Magnum P.I.

25
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with commentary
by John Hillerman.

26
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Apparently working in Hawaii
was a pleasure.

27
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Oh, Carl,
you remembered I like TV.

28
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Who's my Secret Santa?

29
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I think it's Homer.

30
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Oh, yes, I am.

31
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Your present is right
in the other room...

32
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Come on, machine!
Take my dollar!

33
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Fine. We'll play it
your way!

34
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Here you go, Lenny.

35
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May the spirit of Retsyn
be with you all year long.

36
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God bless God. Amen.

37
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This gift stinks.

38
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Homer, you're the most
selfish man I know.

39
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Oh, come on. Mister
Burns is way more selfish.

40
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That evil old bone bag smelling
of death, nose like a vulture,

41
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followed everywhere
by that kiss-ass Smithers.

42
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Yes. That describes
Kathy in Personnel to a tee.

43
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All right, everyone.

44
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It's time for your
Christmas "bon-i."

45
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Everyone gets a
five-dollar cafeteria voucher.

46
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And for your boy,
a confectioner's card

47
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featuring a current
baseballer.

48
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It's that rookie
from the New York Nine.

49
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Joe DiMaggio?
Yes.

50
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:05,977
It seems they've started letting
ethnics into the big leagues.

51
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Oh, look! It's Kathy!

52
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How are things in Personnel?

53
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Excellent.

54
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I need money for Christmas.

55
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Can I get anything for this
Joe DiMaggio baseball card?

56
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It's kind of old.

57
00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:21,993
I'm sorry. But I'm afraid
your card is only worth

58
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everything I've got!
Everything!

59
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Take it!

60
00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:27,915
Oh, no!

61
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I've smudged it with nacho
fingers. I must deftly lick it off.

62
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Deftly...
Thank you!

63
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Freak.

64
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And now we return
to the 1986 holiday classic,

65
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Christmas with
the California Prunes.

66
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Yeah...

67
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Oh, pruny night.

68
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The stars are
sweetly wrinkled.

69
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We are the fruit.

70
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That your grandmother loves.

71
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Yeah...

72
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This is offensive
to Christians and prunes.

73
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Hey, everybody!

74
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We're going shopping at the
Springfield Heights Promenade!

75
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That's
the rich people's mall!

76
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Let's shop till we droop.

77
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I think that's "drop."

78
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That's a very
violent image, Lisa.

79
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Silver and gold.

80
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Mean so much more
when I see.

81
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First, we'll buy
gifts for each other,

82
00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:49,038
then we'll spend the rest of the
cash on a Christmas tree so large,

83
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its absence from the forest will
cause mudslides and flooding!

84
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Yay!

85
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Cool, a toy store!

86
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Awesome! I'm blasting
all the state capitals!

87
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Oh, take that,
Salem, Oregon!

88
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Wait a minute.
This game is educational!

89
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That'll teach you
to teach me!

90
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I think these are
my Homie's size.

91
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:19,235
Excuse me.
Can I ask you a favor?

92
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Perfect! I'll take it!

93
00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:27,284
Um, we'll do that.

94
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Stand back when you open it.

95
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:37,753
Doing pretty good so far.

96
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A key ring for Marge,
key ring for Bart...

97
00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:45,678
That thing for me!

98
00:05:47,389 --> 00:05:49,974
Oh, God!
It's so unnecessary!

99
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You have excellent taste. This
is our finest talking astrolabe.

100
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It also comes with a notepad
and pen that works upside-down.

101
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I'm upside-down so much!

102
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If I buy this, I won't have
anything left for a Christmas tree.

103
00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:07,074
Today is the birthday
of comedienne Margaret Cho.

104
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That's the birthday I'm
always forgetting! I must have it!

105
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What a mall!

106
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Can we get our big
Christmas tree now?

107
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Uh, sure, you know it.

108
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Biggest tree from
the finest lot in town.

109
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Stupid jerk!

110
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Dad, I don't like the looks
of this neighborhood.

111
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It's fine.

112
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Now, everyone just relax,
lock your doors,

113
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don't make eye contact
with anyone,

114
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and listen to the radio.

115
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Now let's downshift
into the holiday spirit

116
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with Christmas Convoy.

117
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A star shone bright
that silent night.

118
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Ninety miles
out of manger-town.

119
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Haulin' gold and myrrh
and frankincense.

120
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Three kings
put the hammer down.

121
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Cause we got a Christmas
convoy, ain't she a beautiful thing?

122
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We've gotta roll this truckin'
convoy to see the newborn king.

123
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Convoy

124
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10-4, King of the Jews.

125
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Gorgeous, huh?
And quite the bargain.

126
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Isn't it kind of dry?

127
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Oh, it just needs
a little love.

128
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Why do things
I love always burn?

129
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Isn't it sufficient?

130
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I thought we had enough
money for a good tree.

131
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,651
Homer, is there something
you're not telling us?

132
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It is 6:31 p.m. in Montreal.

133
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The moon is waxing tonight.

134
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What's that?

135
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Uh... Woo-hoo!

136
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Maggie's talking!

137
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You wasted our money on
something extravagant for yourself!

138
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There's a trickledown
theory here.

139
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If I'm happy, I'm less
abusive to the rest of you.

140
00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:47,550
No, Dad. This time you
were just plain selfish.

141
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I am not returnable.

142
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I will be testing my smoke
alarm for the next three hours.

143
00:08:01,565 --> 00:08:04,900
This is sadder than
Tuesdays with Morrie.

144
00:08:09,531 --> 00:08:11,991
Come on, Marge. I'm
not the only selfish person.

145
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:14,410
You have to get
your hair done at Supercuts.

146
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I guess regular cuts just
isn't good enough for you.

147
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You just don't get it,
do you?

148
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Christmas is a time
to think of others.

149
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But today, you showed
you only care about yourself.

150
00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:25,546
That's not true!

151
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:27,673
I cared what you thought
once you found out!

152
00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:29,842
You can sleep
on the couch tonight.

153
00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:32,011
Can't you yell at me now
and get it over with?

154
00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:33,095
No.

155
00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:36,223
I'm gonna parcel my anger out
over the next few days and weeks,

156
00:08:36,308 --> 00:08:39,310
jabbing at you just when
you seem the most content.

157
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:45,608
I don't need her.
I've got you, Astrolabe.

158
00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:49,153
Colombia's main
export is coffee.

159
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Exactly.

160
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,657
Now back to
The Year Santa Got Lost

161
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starring Jimmy Stewart as
the voice of Mister Mailman.

162
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Santa was in
an awful pickle.

163
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Beatniks had given
drugs to the reindeer

164
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and they were no darn good.

165
00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:09,548
So Santa placed a call to
Secretary of Defense Melvin Laird.

166
00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:12,009
Jimmy Stewart as
a puppet is just wrong.

167
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:15,471
And now back to
Mr. McGrew's Christmas Carol.

168
00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:18,974
Mr. McGrew? I love that
blind senile old man!

169
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I can't find
my way back to the home.

170
00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:24,480
I heard you
the first five times!

171
00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:30,236
You work on Christmas
or you're out of a job!

172
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:31,820
Is that clear, Cratchett?

173
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,405
Sir, I'm over here.

174
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Woo-hoo.
Sorry, pardon me, ma'am.

175
00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:41,497
I see you're expecting. May I
listen to the baby's heartbeat?

176
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:51,215
Oh, McGrew. Once again you've
mistaken something for something.

177
00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:56,637
McGrew, I am the Ghost
of Christmas Past.

178
00:09:56,805 --> 00:10:00,432
You are so selfish your
fiancee is about to leave you.

179
00:10:00,517 --> 00:10:01,934
I don't need love.

180
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:06,397
I have money. Sweet,
sweet money, yes indeed.

181
00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:10,526
Oh, my God! It's like looking
at a cartoon version of myself!

182
00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:16,740
Spirit, surely there is some
time to reform my selfish ways.

183
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:20,244
Come on, Death. Leave
McGrew alone. Take Tiny Tim!

184
00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:24,623
No!

185
00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:29,461
"Unloved by Al?" No!

186
00:10:31,506 --> 00:10:34,049
"Unloved by all?" No!

187
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:40,889
Dad, are you okay?

188
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:45,060
Children! Children,
what day is this?

189
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:46,520
It's Saturday,
December sixth.

190
00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:49,481
Thank God. There's still
four more days till Christmas.

191
00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:51,275
I have time to
reform my ways.

192
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:54,153
I just saw the greatest
cartoon of all time.

193
00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:58,115
It was about a miser who was
visited by three ghosts at Christmas.

194
00:10:58,241 --> 00:10:59,325
And get this.

195
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:00,826
He learns a lesson!

196
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,078
Dad, what you saw was
A Christmas Carol.

197
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,831
It was written by Charles
Dickens 160 years ago.

198
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:08,751
Yeah. TV writers have been
milking that goat for years.

199
00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:11,754
Reform, Ebenezer Urkel!

200
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:14,757
You have alienated
everyone who loved you!

201
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:16,008
Did I do that?

202
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:17,885
Report, Mr. Sulu.

203
00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:19,697
Captain, there appears
to be some sort of spirit

204
00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:21,347
from an Earth holiday past.

205
00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:23,557
Mr. Scott,
fire photon torpedoes.

206
00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:27,144
It's no use, Captain. He's
showin' visions of me future.

207
00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:28,437
God, I'm so fat!

208
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:29,730
I said fire!

209
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:33,859
That last one
looked kind of good.

210
00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:37,363
Marge, TV and nightmares have
joined forces to teach me a lesson.

211
00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:41,075
From now on, I will stop being
selfish and start being good.

212
00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:44,495
In fact, I'll be
the nicest man in town.

213
00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:46,663
You've made that
promise before.

214
00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:50,250
Yes. But this time
I'm sober-îsh.

215
00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:54,088
Well, the hoboes
sure will appreciate

216
00:11:54,172 --> 00:11:56,215
our old clothes
and lima beans.

217
00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:59,927
No need, Flanders. I've already
given them my old clothes.

218
00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:04,890
Good-looking group.

219
00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:07,768
It looks like this town
has a Good Sam logjam.

220
00:12:08,019 --> 00:12:10,521
These pants smell worse
than my old pants.

221
00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:12,314
You're welcome.

222
00:12:15,193 --> 00:12:17,736
Listen, Lenny. I know I was
a pretty bad Secret Santa

223
00:12:17,821 --> 00:12:19,321
so I wanted to
make it up to you.

224
00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:23,033
A photo cube
with pictures of us!

225
00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:25,160
And I filed down
all the sharp corners.

226
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:27,287
See? Your eye is
completely safe!

227
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,623
Oh, wow,
it just stings a little.

228
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:37,756
Marge, do you want
this last pork chop?

229
00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:40,843
I've dreamed of
the day you'd say that!

230
00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:46,807
Oh, your thoughtfulness
tastes so good.

231
00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:51,603
And tears are
the sweetest sauce.

232
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:55,149
All right, now you're
starting to creep me out.

233
00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:10,998
Come on.

234
00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:17,045
Why don't you
just take my blood?

235
00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:20,424
Yes, I'm old.

236
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:23,135
Oh, very nice, Ned.

237
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:26,513
But I'm afraid you're a
distant second this week.

238
00:13:26,598 --> 00:13:28,640
I'm not looking
for glory or wealth.

239
00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:31,810
I'm just buying that stairway
to heaven Jesus sang of.

240
00:13:31,895 --> 00:13:33,061
That was Led Zeppelin.

241
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:35,814
Get back to
your bong, hippie.

242
00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:42,654
Daddy, are you jealous
of Brother Homer?

243
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:44,656
Maybe just a tad, Todd.

244
00:13:44,866 --> 00:13:47,701
I'm jealous of girls because
they get to wear dresses.

245
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,913
One problem at a time, boy.

246
00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:53,081
Homie, I'm so proud.

247
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:55,167
You changed more
than I could've imagined.

248
00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:57,169
You're even covering
your mouth when you burp.

249
00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:58,587
Just like the pope.

250
00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:03,258
Being unselfish is a natural
high like hiking or paint thinner.

251
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:06,512
And here's another act of Christian
charity I pulled out of my butt.

252
00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:10,641
I built a skating rink
for the whole town!

253
00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:17,105
Activate cloaking device!

254
00:14:18,816 --> 00:14:21,777
Oh, I'm so depressed.
Engage candy bar.

255
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,196
Thank you.

256
00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:28,075
Here come sandwiches
Here come sandwiches

257
00:14:28,159 --> 00:14:30,536
right down Boozy Bum Lane.

258
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:33,038
Brother Ned's
got cheese on bread

259
00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:36,542
and a side order of shame.
Bells...

260
00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:40,212
Where the H-E-C-K
is everybody?

261
00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:47,202
Here's your skates. Oh, you'll
have to take off those boots.

262
00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:48,428
Those are my feet.

263
00:14:48,513 --> 00:14:49,596
Eew!

264
00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:51,890
Oh, for the love of puppies.

265
00:14:51,975 --> 00:14:54,309
Homer, you're
the nicest guy in town.

266
00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:58,689
Your position
has been usurped.

267
00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:01,942
Usurped. You heard me.

268
00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:05,445
You're sad at Christmas.

269
00:15:11,536 --> 00:15:13,245
This just in,

270
00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:14,871
Santa Claus is dead.

271
00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:18,000
Or he might as well be

272
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:19,793
because there's
an even fatter man

273
00:15:19,877 --> 00:15:21,503
who's holding families
at nice-point.

274
00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:24,172
Homer Simpson, seen
here in this retouched photo!

275
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:28,010
That Homer just
burns my waffles.

276
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:31,346
Pain is the cleanser!
Pain is the cleanser!

277
00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:36,768
Excuse me.
My car broke down.

278
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:38,812
Well, I'll give you a jump!

279
00:15:38,896 --> 00:15:41,273
I'll rotate your tires! I'll
even fold up that map for you!

280
00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:42,626
I know that can be
a dickens of a doozie!

281
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:43,775
Back off, creep!

282
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:45,861
I was looking for
Homer Simpson's house!

283
00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:49,615
That tears it!
I'll show Homer!

284
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:53,368
I'm gonna be the nicest man
this world has ever seen.

285
00:15:56,247 --> 00:15:59,541
I said "man," not "man-God"!
Keep your pants on!

286
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,793
Here you go, Principal
Skinner, Mrs. Skinner.

287
00:16:01,878 --> 00:16:04,463
You're actually giving everyone
in town a Christmas present?

288
00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:05,627
What's your angle, pervert?

289
00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:09,217
Oh-ho. My angle is "givin' in
this world, livin' in the next!"

290
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,887
But how can you afford all
this on a widower's salary?

291
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:14,848
Well, actually I picked up
some extra cash

292
00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:16,808
renting out my house
to a fraternity.

293
00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:21,855
Stay out of
our medicine cabinet!

294
00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:23,940
Pathetic Flanders.

295
00:16:24,025 --> 00:16:26,693
Thinking he can buy people's
love with thoughtful gifts.

296
00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:30,280
Cool! Mister Flanders gave me
a Krusty brand Operation game.

297
00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:33,408
You just tweezered my wang!

298
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:36,745
I'll show Flanders. I'm
gonna give everyone a car.

299
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:39,247
What's that one
good American car?

300
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:41,458
Dad, you don't have to
outdo Mister Flanders.

301
00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:43,085
Just remember
the spirit of the season.

302
00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:44,628
Is it despair?

303
00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:48,215
Actually, most people now feel
Christmas has gotten too materialistic.

304
00:16:48,299 --> 00:16:49,675
In fact, as a Buddhist,

305
00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:52,094
I believe people would be a
lot happier without presents.

306
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:55,097
Hmm. You've given me
a lot to think about.

307
00:16:57,809 --> 00:16:59,726
People would be a lot
happier without presents.

308
00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:03,605
Presents are material goods,

309
00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:07,192
and attachment to
material goods kills the soul.

310
00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:11,113
I'm not going to jail again.

311
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:14,491
I've got it!
When everyone's asleep,

312
00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:16,284
I'll take away
their presents!

313
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:19,079
Then they'll be happy.
Thanks, Buddha.

314
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:22,958
I got your badge number.
You better hope I never get out!

315
00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:28,380
You're a hero, Homer J.

316
00:17:28,631 --> 00:17:33,093
You're as crafty as a skunk.

317
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:37,639
They'II thank you in the morning
for stealing Flanders' junk.

318
00:17:37,849 --> 00:17:40,267
Homer Jay.

319
00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:44,146
You're a double-bacon
genius-burger

320
00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:48,191
and just a little drunk.

321
00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:07,502
Now to hear the joyous sound
of people waking up on Christmas

322
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:10,005
to discover they
have no presents.

323
00:18:10,965 --> 00:18:12,340
Hey, where's my presents?

324
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:15,385
Some jerk
stole Christmas!

325
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,679
Oh, I've been robbed!

326
00:18:18,181 --> 00:18:20,974
Man, so this is
how it feels.

327
00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:24,895
I'd better see my shrink
and rob his ass!

328
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:28,482
Someone snuck in
and took our presents.

329
00:18:29,150 --> 00:18:30,567
Do you think it was Papa?

330
00:18:30,693 --> 00:18:34,112
I wouldn't put it past him. He
stole my gold tooth the night he left.

331
00:18:34,197 --> 00:18:36,198
He didn't leave.
He went to the store.

332
00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:39,576
And when he comes back, I'll wave
those Pop Tarts right in your face!

333
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,245
They don't sound happy
but here comes a mob

334
00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:44,414
shaking their fists
in gratitude!

335
00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:45,874
Get him!

336
00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:48,627
Give back our presents,
stupid man!

337
00:18:48,711 --> 00:18:50,962
Your behavior,
it's like not sanctioned

338
00:18:51,047 --> 00:18:53,340
by any governing body.
You're like wild.

339
00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:56,468
Shouldn't you all be
singing carols or something?

340
00:19:03,518 --> 00:19:06,144
Stop! Friends,
what Homer did was wrong

341
00:19:06,229 --> 00:19:07,646
but I've been thinking.

342
00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:10,440
Maybe I was just as wrong
to give you those gifts.

343
00:19:11,734 --> 00:19:12,859
Hey!

344
00:19:12,944 --> 00:19:15,612
Wait a minute, everyone!
There's your Christmas.

345
00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:16,780
Up there!

346
00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:21,535
It's a miracle.

347
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:26,998
That's my last flare.
Somebody better come soon.

348
00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:31,878
Oh, thank goodness.
Rescue dogs.

349
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,216
"And the angel said
unto them, 'Fear not,

350
00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:39,427
"'for behold, I bring you
good tidings of great joy

351
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:40,739
"'which shall be
to all people..."'

352
00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:41,805
Stop that!

353
00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:43,431
You can't pray
on city property!

354
00:19:45,977 --> 00:19:49,312
Let's just say that on this
day a million years ago,

355
00:19:49,397 --> 00:19:52,357
a dude was born who
most of us think was magic.

356
00:19:52,984 --> 00:19:55,443
But others don't.
And that's cool.

357
00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:57,988
But we're
probably right. Amen.

358
00:19:58,072 --> 00:19:59,155
Amen!

359
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,157
And now I think
the only thing left to do

360
00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:03,076
is return all your gifts!

361
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:04,160
Ned?

362
00:20:04,245 --> 00:20:05,325
It'd be my pleasure, Homer!

363
00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:14,337
Oh, joy! Let's see what we
got here. It's a new brassiere!

364
00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:17,674
But I don't even have them,
but okay. I'll make pretend.

365
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:19,467
What a great Christmas.

366
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:22,178
Not even Moe's annual
suicide attempt can ruin it.

367
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:27,684
I ain't got all day, Drama
Queen. Get it over with.

368
00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:28,768
I will!

369
00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:31,187
And then you'll all wish
you was nicer to me!

370
00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:33,982
Who am I kidding?
I ain't gonna jump.

371
00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:39,195
Hark, the Herald Angels sing.

372
00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:43,491
Glory to the new born King.

373
00:20:43,993 --> 00:20:47,704
Peace on earth
and mercy mild.

374
00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:51,708
God and sinners reconciled.

375
00:20:52,335 --> 00:20:55,337
Today is the birthday
of our Lord, Jesus Christ,

376
00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:57,422
and singer Barbara Mandrell.

377
00:20:57,506 --> 00:20:58,715
Merry Christmas.

378
00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:00,926
Of the skies.

379
00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:05,180
Hark the Herald Angels sing.

380
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:10,268
Glory to
the new born King.

381
00:21:57,483 --> 00:21:58,483
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