1
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:06,506
The Simpsons.

2
00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:28,820
I don't understand
this game, Bart.

3
00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:30,363
How come we have
to rake your lawn

4
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:31,906
while you just
get to sit there?

5
00:00:32,074 --> 00:00:33,116
Because I'm "it."

6
00:00:33,242 --> 00:00:35,535
Now whoever finishes
first gets lemonade.

7
00:00:35,619 --> 00:00:36,619
Yay!

8
00:00:36,662 --> 00:00:37,662
For me.

9
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:44,085
Later when we wash his bike,
I'm not gonna do a good job.

10
00:00:44,169 --> 00:00:45,878
I'm telling Mr. Bart!

11
00:00:48,507 --> 00:00:49,716
Hey, guys.

12
00:00:51,009 --> 00:00:52,135
Uh-oh. Girls.

13
00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:54,220
You guys need
your cootie shots.

14
00:00:56,598 --> 00:01:00,518
Well, I hate this job,
but I love the health plan.

15
00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:03,104
Okay, ladies. Don't you
have a poodle to dress up?

16
00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:04,355
Fine, we'll go.

17
00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:07,525
We'll find some other way to
entertain our boy-crazy cousin

18
00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:08,818
who thinks you're cute.

19
00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:13,322
Oh, I wouldn't mind
pushing that in the mud.

20
00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:23,624
Homer drunk? But how?

21
00:01:27,838 --> 00:01:30,339
Round and round
the bottle twirls,

22
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:32,925
I hope it stops
on one of the girls.

23
00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:38,389
I hope you like the taste
of ringworm medicine.

24
00:01:44,897 --> 00:01:47,815
Ew! I kissed
that sad weird kid!

25
00:01:48,317 --> 00:01:49,400
My beer!

26
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,529
You never had a chance
to become my urine.

27
00:01:55,908 --> 00:01:57,241
Why you little...

28
00:02:01,705 --> 00:02:04,290
My first kiss.

29
00:02:06,502 --> 00:02:09,587
Stop it, Homer! There's
only one way to settle this.

30
00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:11,380
In Simpson Family Court.

31
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:13,549
What the hell's that?

32
00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:17,678
I got the idea from a now
discredited book on raising children.

33
00:02:19,223 --> 00:02:21,766
Now up, the case of
Simpson v. Simpson.

34
00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:24,393
Mr. Simpson, do you
think it's appropriate

35
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:27,855
for a 10-year-old boy to
steal a beer with intent to kiss?

36
00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:29,375
Do you think it was
appropriate to bet

37
00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:30,879
against your son's
little league team?

38
00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:33,653
What? Permission to treat
this witness as hostile.

39
00:02:34,905 --> 00:02:37,240
Homer, I'll bet when you were
10, you were stealing beers,

40
00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:39,242
kissing girls,
and tipping dinosaurs.

41
00:02:39,368 --> 00:02:43,079
Your father's first kiss
was in high school, with me.

42
00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:47,458
Actually, Marge, there
was someone before you.

43
00:02:50,921 --> 00:02:55,591
It was years ago when I was
10, back in the '60s or '50s.

44
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:57,844
Or maybe it was
the early '70s.

45
00:02:59,263 --> 00:03:00,429
Underprivileged?

46
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:03,432
You pretended we were
poor just to get me into camp?

47
00:03:03,559 --> 00:03:05,434
Uh, yeah, pretended.

48
00:03:10,482 --> 00:03:13,860
Hey, you must be Homer!
I'm Lenny and this is Carl.

49
00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:15,236
Wow, a Negro.

50
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:16,737
We prefer the term "black."

51
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,698
So cool.

52
00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:22,159
Heya, fellas. I'm Moe.
I'm your junior counselor.

53
00:03:22,244 --> 00:03:24,579
Moe's not really
a counselor.

54
00:03:24,788 --> 00:03:26,956
His parents dropped him
off here, like, two years ago

55
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,309
and they never
came back for him.

56
00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:30,710
I sleep under
upside-down canoes.

57
00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:52,607
In the summertime
when the weather is high.

58
00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:01,157
That's the girls' camp
right over there.

59
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:05,620
Hi.

60
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:07,997
Oh! I can't wait
to meet the girls!

61
00:04:11,543 --> 00:04:12,585
Wha...

62
00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:15,087
That's right. You're
working in the kitchen.

63
00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:16,547
That's how our
camp pays the bills.

64
00:04:16,632 --> 00:04:17,632
What bills?

65
00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:20,676
We got no water, no heat.
We catch our own breakfast.

66
00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:24,722
Twelve kids died at our camp.
We need the money to pay lawyers.

67
00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:35,733
I thought we were gonna
play fun games at camp.

68
00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:37,026
Oh, here's one!

69
00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:39,946
It's called
"Stay out of my way." ldiot.

70
00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:43,366
Oh, no. My retainer.

71
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:47,620
I got it!

72
00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:48,996
Ooh la la!

73
00:04:49,081 --> 00:04:51,707
A girl with teeth! Me like.

74
00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:58,214
Oh, thank you.
You sound so sweet.

75
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:03,386
That's 'cause
I've eaten 16 pieces of pie.

76
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:09,558
You know, doing dishes has
been the best part of camp.

77
00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:10,935
Really? Why?

78
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,812
Because I talked to you.

79
00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:18,985
I couldn't see her through the
flaps, but she's my kind of girl.

80
00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:20,778
Tell us more about the flaps.

81
00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:23,280
To me, they were
the rubbery gates of heaven

82
00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:26,659
because behind them
was the girl of my dreams.

83
00:05:26,952 --> 00:05:30,246
Oh, man. Someday love'll come
sliding down my chute.

84
00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:32,248
Well, I can ask if
she has any friends

85
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,083
because she wants
to meet me tonight.

86
00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:35,835
Way to go!
Out of sight!

87
00:05:35,961 --> 00:05:37,294
Now, Homer,
if you're gonna go,

88
00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:38,671
you better take
some protection.

89
00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:41,090
Oh, a switchblade!

90
00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,759
I see the switch,
but where's the blade?

91
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,594
D'oh! Found it.

92
00:05:46,263 --> 00:05:49,348
An eye patch?
But I've got a date tonight.

93
00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:51,517
Oh, don't worry. Chicks
love that kind of thing.

94
00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:53,728
Patches, scars, stumps.

95
00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:55,813
Everything but zits.

96
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,107
All right,
how should I get there?

97
00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:04,864
I guess it's row versus wade.
And it's my right to choose!

98
00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:09,493
Are you looking to cross the
lake which separates ye from she?

99
00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:10,578
Who are you?

100
00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:12,496
The sailing instructor.

101
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:16,083
And on movie night,
I run the projector.

102
00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:18,878
Only PG. Nothing R.

103
00:06:19,254 --> 00:06:20,463
Yarrr.

104
00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:30,806
I couldn't believe my eye.

105
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:34,894
She was the prettiest
girl I'd ever seen.

106
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:37,897
Until I met your mother,

107
00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:41,025
who made that girl look like
a Godzilla made of garbage!

108
00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:43,402
Homer, that girl was me!

109
00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:45,863
How romantic.

110
00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:48,074
You and Dad were drawn
to each other as kids

111
00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:49,992
and you didn't
even realize it!

112
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:53,621
Yes. And then your
father broke my heart.

113
00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:57,541
And if I'd known it was you, I
never would have married you.

114
00:06:57,834 --> 00:07:01,629
Oh, this is so confusing!
I'd like a brief recess.

115
00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:02,963
Granted.

116
00:07:03,173 --> 00:07:04,632
Whee! Recess!

117
00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:08,844
Whee!

118
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:13,390
Let me get this straight.

119
00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:15,317
When you were my age,
you had the hots for Mom

120
00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:16,352
and didn't even know it?

121
00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:19,396
Oh, that's cool
or is it lame?

122
00:07:19,523 --> 00:07:22,233
I guess I'll go with lame.
You were lame!

123
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:25,194
Why? Because I only kissed
one girl in my whole life?

124
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:26,946
That's still
one more than you.

125
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:28,531
I've kissed three girls.

126
00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:31,575
I'm so lame!

127
00:07:31,660 --> 00:07:34,495
You're not gonna be
kissing anybody for a while!

128
00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:35,955
Well, that stinks!

129
00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:37,399
But I still get
to kiss you, right?

130
00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:40,626
Mom, why are you so mad?

131
00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:42,461
I'll start from
the beginning.

132
00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:46,924
The girls' camp was focused on
teaching etiquette and deportment.

133
00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:50,219
Now that I've captured
your interest, let me continue.

134
00:07:53,557 --> 00:07:57,643
By summer's end, I promise
you will all walk like ladies,

135
00:07:57,727 --> 00:08:00,437
talk like ladies, and hold
your liquor like ladies.

136
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:04,775
Now chin up, head back,
legs together. Excellent.

137
00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:07,778
Girls, see how
Marge's legs are slanted?

138
00:08:07,863 --> 00:08:11,282
You make Jackie O look
like a splay-legged milk-horse.

139
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:12,950
Now stand and walk.

140
00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:18,164
Well done.

141
00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:21,250
I'd be proud if you grew up
to be my husband's mistress.

142
00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:22,793
Thank you.

143
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:28,007
I used to walk like this all the
time until my tendons snapped.

144
00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:29,800
They heard it in Shelbyville.

145
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:34,096
Anyhoo, one night
we had a special dinner.

146
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:38,434
We were learning
to use all 33 forks.

147
00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:43,814
Young lady,
that is not an olive fork!

148
00:08:43,899 --> 00:08:45,774
Here's a simple trick
to help you remember.

149
00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:52,364
Knife and fork together,
denied yourself dessert.

150
00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:55,784
Nice work, Marge. Really.

151
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:59,622
Oh, no! My retainer!

152
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:01,248
I got it!

153
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,465
I'd thank you, but I don't
even know your name.

154
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:12,593
I bet it's something
low-rent like Billy Bob.

155
00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:14,011
Or Homer.

156
00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:15,387
Big ugly Homer!

157
00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:20,517
Oh, I'm sure it's a much
nicer name than Homer.

158
00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:22,019
Er...

159
00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:23,312
Think, Homer. Think.

160
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:24,605
What did you say?

161
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:25,898
I'm Elvis!

162
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:29,860
Elvis Jagger.
Elvis Jagger Abdul-Jabbar.

163
00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:33,656
I told my friends
I had a date.

164
00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:35,866
What should I wear?

165
00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:37,660
Should I paint my toes?

166
00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:39,578
And what should
I do with my hair?

167
00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:41,080
You could iron it.

168
00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:42,539
Iron my hair?

169
00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:44,667
That's what
Leslie Uggams does!

170
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:45,751
Leslie who?

171
00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:46,835
Uggams!

172
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:50,339
Oh, it's really
straightening out.

173
00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:54,843
I guess I'm going to have
to be a brunette tonight.

174
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:56,512
Oh, dear me.

175
00:09:56,638 --> 00:10:01,058
One day as a straight-haired
brunette. I feel so bad for you.

176
00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:02,768
Stupid girl!

177
00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:07,106
Please don't be a freak.
Please don't be a freak.

178
00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:10,442
I met her on the mountain.

179
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:13,529
There I took her life.

180
00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:17,616
Met her on the mountain.

181
00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:21,078
Stabbed her with my knife.

182
00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:24,498
Hi.

183
00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:28,043
Oh. He's cute.

184
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,712
And he's got an eye patch.

185
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:32,589
I've never seen
a boy so mysterious.

186
00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:34,216
You must be Elvis.

187
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:37,303
Elvis? What the hell
kind of name is...

188
00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:38,721
Oh, yeah. Right.

189
00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:41,307
We've heard the same story
two times now.

190
00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:44,059
Whose side are we gonna
hear next? The Sea Captain's?

191
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,228
No, no. I'd best
be on me way.

192
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:49,398
I'll just take some Teddy
Grahams for the road.

193
00:10:49,858 --> 00:10:52,234
There goes a good friend.

194
00:10:52,444 --> 00:10:57,906
Now I'm gonna warn you kids, the
next part of the story gets a little WB.

195
00:11:00,285 --> 00:11:02,244
Oh, man. I want to kiss her.

196
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:06,915
Wait. I just thought of
the greatest move ever!

197
00:11:12,047 --> 00:11:15,716
Oh, no. He yawned.
I'm boring him.

198
00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:17,593
Do you like music? I do.

199
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:20,137
I like Bobby Goldsboro,
Gilbert O'Sullivan,

200
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:23,432
Terry Jacks, Parliament,
but not Funkadelic.

201
00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:25,517
How am I supposed
to kiss those things?

202
00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:27,311
Interrupt her
with something witty.

203
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:28,771
Er...

204
00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:31,857
Yes?

205
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:34,526
Kiss her already.
What are you, chicken?

206
00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:38,280
Is he making chicken noises?

207
00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:47,748
Imagine me and you, I do

208
00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:52,002
I think about you day
and night It's only right.

209
00:11:52,087 --> 00:11:55,964
To think about the girl
you love and hold her tight.

210
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:59,468
So happy together.

211
00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:03,889
If I should call you up,
invest a dime.

212
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:08,060
And you say you belong
to me and ease my mind.

213
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:11,688
Imagine how the world
could be so very fine.

214
00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:14,316
So happy together.

215
00:12:16,820 --> 00:12:21,698
I can't see me
Iovin' nobody but you.

216
00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:24,827
For all my life.

217
00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:29,623
When you're with me, baby
the skies'll be blue.

218
00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:32,751
For all my life.

219
00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:35,546
Me and you and you and me.

220
00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:39,675
No matter how they
toss the dice it had to be.

221
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:46,723
The only one for me is you, and
you for me So happy together.

222
00:12:48,143 --> 00:12:49,601
Way to go, Dad!

223
00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:51,103
The perfect kiss!

224
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:53,147
It was pretty delicious.

225
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:56,775
It was as satisfying
as a million Hallmark cards

226
00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:59,153
with all
the right sized envelopes.

227
00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:05,075
It felt like a cluster bomb wiping
out a graveyard full of zombies.

228
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:09,246
But then your father
showed his true colors.

229
00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:14,084
Will I see you
again tomorrow?

230
00:13:14,169 --> 00:13:15,252
Absolutely.

231
00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:16,879
Or my name isn't...

232
00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:19,548
Whatever I told you it was.

233
00:13:21,259 --> 00:13:24,887
So we arranged to meet again
at Second Date Rock.

234
00:13:38,401 --> 00:13:40,569
I guess he's not coming.

235
00:13:43,364 --> 00:13:47,576
It was years before
I could trust a boy again.

236
00:13:49,412 --> 00:13:52,456
That's horrible.
How could you, Dad?

237
00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:56,001
Because he's the kind
who kisses and leaves you!

238
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,841
I can't believe
you stood Mom up.

239
00:14:02,926 --> 00:14:04,468
Face it, Lise. Men are dogs.

240
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,720
The worse we treat you,
the more you want us.

241
00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:08,347
That's not what dogs do.

242
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,058
You said "dog doo!"

243
00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:13,894
She sure did.

244
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:16,647
Now if Lisa's finished
with her shenanigans,

245
00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:18,857
I'll tell you why
I didn't show up.

246
00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:21,944
We had just finished
our first smooch.

247
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:25,322
And I felt a feeling
I had never felt before.

248
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:29,952
I found this stone earlier. I was
gonna use it as a nerd smasher.

249
00:14:30,245 --> 00:14:32,079
But I want you to have it.

250
00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:35,082
Ooh, it looks like a heart.

251
00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:37,125
Hey, you're right!
Give it back!

252
00:14:37,627 --> 00:14:41,046
Oh, no,
I still want you to have it.

253
00:14:41,256 --> 00:14:44,383
But every time you smash
a nerd with it, think of me.

254
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:45,801
I will.

255
00:14:48,179 --> 00:14:49,888
See you tomorrow night, okay?

256
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:56,812
What a kiss. Lf I died
now, I'd die happy.

257
00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:01,191
Oh, what a view!

258
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,990
Good ol' patch!
You saved my life!

259
00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:20,502
So you thought you could make
a break for it, did you?

260
00:15:20,712 --> 00:15:23,922
Well, no one ever
escapes from Fat Camp.

261
00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:28,844
Because the only way out
is up a gentle slope.

262
00:15:31,514 --> 00:15:33,515
What the... Fat Camp?

263
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,898
I don't belong here!

264
00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:44,943
Heh! Your boy bosoms
tell a different tale.

265
00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:52,200
Okay. Take a break, ladies.

266
00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:58,290
No eating the grass!

267
00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:02,544
Hey, he didn't say nothing
about this poison oak!

268
00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:05,797
Sweet, sweet poison.

269
00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:14,431
I've gotta go.

270
00:16:15,058 --> 00:16:17,309
I've got a date.

271
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:21,647
Yeah, you've got a date
with a skinless chicken breast.

272
00:16:24,609 --> 00:16:28,987
Somewhere out there,
she's waiting for me.

273
00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:35,786
Hello. I'd like to speak
to Elvis Jagger Abdul-Jabbar.

274
00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:38,997
Hey, don't you try and
prank me with a fake name!

275
00:16:39,082 --> 00:16:42,668
I will out your intestines and
use them to make a lanyard!

276
00:16:42,752 --> 00:16:44,294
Hello? Hello?

277
00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:47,589
And that's the origin
of that.

278
00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:53,428
That boy I kissed wouldn't
even tell me his real name.

279
00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:56,640
Typical. All boys want
the same thing,

280
00:16:56,724 --> 00:16:58,475
to kiss until
they're hot and heavy,

281
00:16:58,601 --> 00:16:59,726
then vamoose.

282
00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:00,936
Trust us.

283
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:04,981
We know everything about boys
except what they look like below the waist.

284
00:17:05,108 --> 00:17:08,110
I have some theories
based on a G. I. Joe I bought.

285
00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:11,321
Well, I... I never
want to date a boy again!

286
00:17:17,662 --> 00:17:19,788
Are you leaving camp
because of that boy?

287
00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:21,957
Because that's what I've been
telling everybody.

288
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,250
You're also pregnant.

289
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:26,002
I just can't stay here.

290
00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:28,255
Everything reminds me of him.

291
00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:38,765
Oh, the pain!

292
00:17:40,435 --> 00:17:43,186
Man was not meant
to sit up! Oh!

293
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:47,566
We've got an emergency here.
We need 10 cc's pronto.

294
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:50,068
And by cc's, I mean cupcakes.

295
00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:51,570
I know
what you mean, Bill.

296
00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:53,989
I've worked here
longer than you.

297
00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:00,162
Now's my chance!

298
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,336
Love conquers all!

299
00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:12,966
Snake!

300
00:18:20,475 --> 00:18:21,892
Bye-bye!

301
00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:24,060
Thank God they're gone.

302
00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:26,271
I can't believe
I went five minutes

303
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,356
without one of
these dream sticks.

304
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:36,531
Hey, have you two
longshoremen seen a pretty girl?

305
00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:40,035
If you are who I think
you are, that girl is gone.

306
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,953
And she never
wants to see you again.

307
00:18:42,163 --> 00:18:44,873
She wouldn't do that.
We shared something special.

308
00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:47,751
What? Just 'cause
she smooched you?

309
00:18:52,423 --> 00:18:53,882
Was that special?

310
00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:55,759
No!

311
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:06,186
I just blew my
first chance at true love.

312
00:19:06,437 --> 00:19:08,980
And now that my special girl
has heard the truth,

313
00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:10,941
I know she'll forgive me.

314
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:14,277
Earth to special girl,
you'll forgive me, right?

315
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:15,570
I guess so.

316
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:18,114
Uh, I think
we'll go to bed now.

317
00:19:19,075 --> 00:19:20,659
What are you doing?

318
00:19:20,743 --> 00:19:24,162
If they fight in front of us,
we might get new bikes.

319
00:19:24,247 --> 00:19:26,832
Homer, when you nurse
a hurt for 30 years,

320
00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:29,417
it doesn't go away
in an instant.

321
00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:31,753
What about now?

322
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:35,173
What about now?

323
00:19:35,258 --> 00:19:36,508
No, Homer.

324
00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:39,928
What about now?

325
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:41,221
No, Homer.

326
00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:43,181
What about now?

327
00:19:43,266 --> 00:19:44,391
No, Homer.

328
00:19:44,475 --> 00:19:47,185
Marge, I'm really sorry
I hurt you.

329
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:49,729
But I've done way
worse stuff since then.

330
00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:51,690
There was
the gun I hid from you.

331
00:19:51,774 --> 00:19:53,692
The time I sued the church.

332
00:19:53,776 --> 00:19:56,778
Ruining Lisa's wedding in
the future. Remember that?

333
00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:59,072
Homie, I know this
shouldn't bother me,

334
00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:02,075
but a girl only
has one first love.

335
00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:05,453
I guess it didn't
mean that much to you.

336
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:06,955
That's not true!

337
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:11,626
I thought about that girl every
day of my life until I met you.

338
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:15,046
I wish there was some way
I could believe that.

339
00:20:15,131 --> 00:20:17,507
All right.
This is my memory box.

340
00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:20,218
I haven't opened
it in 30 years.

341
00:20:20,595 --> 00:20:22,888
Ooh! A letter
from my old pen pal.

342
00:20:22,972 --> 00:20:25,473
Someday I'll write
you back, Osama.

343
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:27,392
Ah! Here's what
I'm looking for.

344
00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:32,230
Oh, Homie! You did care!

345
00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:33,648
I sure did.

346
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:37,152
I kept it right next
to my lBM stocking.

347
00:20:39,155 --> 00:20:41,448
I kept my heart, too.

348
00:20:41,699 --> 00:20:44,910
Because somehow you realized
I was a good guy after all?

349
00:20:44,994 --> 00:20:48,705
No. As a reminder of the
hurtful things men can do.

350
00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:52,000
But now it can
have a second meaning.

351
00:20:56,839 --> 00:20:58,715
Oh, Elvis.

352
00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:02,218
Oh, anonymous girl who
turned out to be Marge!

353
00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:58,400
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