1
00:00:03,280 --> 00:00:06,204
The Simpsons.

2
00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:30,922
I used to love Springfield
Park. But it's gotten so run-down.

3
00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:39,490
Oh, the "prid" is gone.

4
00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:43,084
This whole place
is disgusting.

5
00:00:43,160 --> 00:00:44,650
I agree.

6
00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:47,724
Hey, aren't you
that Crazy Cat Lady?

7
00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:50,883
Yes, I am. But thanks to
this psychoactive medication,

8
00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:53,566
I enjoy brief
moments of lucidity.

9
00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:55,642
Those are just
Reese's Pieces.

10
00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:04,809
I know how to save this park. I'm
gonna organize a charity carnival.

11
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,731
Uh, Mom? Looks like
someone beat you to it.

12
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:11,561
God, that Junior League
burns me up.

13
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:17,367
Step right up and bid on items
donated by local businesses.

14
00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:21,841
Oh, I only got $100.
I better bid shrewdly.

15
00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:23,890
First up is this video camera.

16
00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:26,201
$100.
$100.50.

17
00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:27,280
Sold.

18
00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:28,401
Damn it!

19
00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:32,922
I never win anything.

20
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,843
Ooh, here's something
I'm good at.

21
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,923
Knee... Left...

22
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,490
Ding...

23
00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:49,161
Yes!

24
00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:54,204
Check it out, fat-wad. I'm
better than you, and I'm only 10.

25
00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:57,045
Fat-wad, I love it.

26
00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:02,127
Easy... Gentle...

27
00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:10,050
Ay, caramba!

28
00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:14,565
I'm number one.
I beat my son.

29
00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,964
Victory is mine.
So, kiss my behind.

30
00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:21,651
In your face.

31
00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:26,680
My son flips frogs
like a girl, yeah.

32
00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:29,400
Who's your daddy?

33
00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:34,481
Hey, Homer. Do fries
come with that shake?

34
00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:35,800
Sure do.

35
00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:51,011
I'm happy-

36
00:02:57,400 --> 00:03:00,847
He makes me look cool.
And cool, lam not.

37
00:03:00,920 --> 00:03:02,968
May I upload your footage
onto my website?

38
00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:05,008
Well, sir, I don't
believe we've ever met.

39
00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:06,485
My name is Jeff Albertson.

40
00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:08,210
But everyone calls
me Comic Book Guy.

41
00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:09,691
Well, I'll just
call you "friend."

42
00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:11,205
Here's your tape,
friend.

43
00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:21,560
What should we click on next?

44
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,525
"Boxer shot by wife"?

45
00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:25,085
"Beauty pageant diarrhea"?

46
00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:26,161
Here's a new one.

47
00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:27,810
"Big-ass Baryshnikov."

48
00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:37,447
Now to send this
spaz around the world.

49
00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:54,007
Stupid Internet.
Whole world laughing at me.

50
00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:00,926
Look at the American
computer monkey.

51
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,604
Dance, monkey. Dance.

52
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:05,161
Basta. Basta.

53
00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:07,527
Take my picture with
the Internet Mama Luke.

54
00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:21,122
The Internet wasn't
created for mockery.

55
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:25,444
It was supposed to help researchers
at different universities share data sets.

56
00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:27,727
It was.

57
00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:30,850
Hello. I'm Deion Overstreet.

58
00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:33,520
The running back for
the San Antonio Cow Skulls?

59
00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:35,921
Five-time rushing leader,
two-time MVP,

60
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,525
and star of
a Disney Channel movie.

61
00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:40,331
I played the gentle giant,
"Stay-off-drugs-ia."

62
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,209
I know why you're here.

63
00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:46,080
You want to see me humiliate
myself with my stupid dance.

64
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:47,810
Well, fine.

65
00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:50,601
Wrong.

66
00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:53,650
Side step. Side step.
Shuffle.

67
00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:56,200
I want to buy the rights
to that dance for $1,000.

68
00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:57,681
Woo-hoo! But why?

69
00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:00,650
My workmanlike touchdowns
never make the highlight reel.

70
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:02,768
But if I add your
shameless shenanigans,

71
00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:04,490
I'll be on ESPN every night.

72
00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:06,688
You want to do my dance
after you score?

73
00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:09,650
Damn straight. And I'll buy
any other dances you got, too.

74
00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:12,405
Woo-hoo!

75
00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:31,569
"L" is for loser,
which describes you, sir.

76
00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:35,087
Don't try to stop me.
Just enjoy the view, sir.

77
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:38,926
"The view, sir.
Then show ass." Got it.

78
00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:43,364
Honey, I bet you're wondering
why Daddy's not at work again.

79
00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:45,090
The answer may surprise you.

80
00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:46,571
I have a new job

81
00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:50,964
choreographing end zone dances
for a professional football player.

82
00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:54,761
Looks like all you're teaching is
obnoxiousness and poor sportsmanship.

83
00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:56,160
Don't forget showboating.

84
00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:59,005
That's the cornerstone
of my pyramid of success.

85
00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:03,368
I forgot crotch grabbing.

86
00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:05,204
That'll be the sun.

87
00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:11,683
Grandpa, will you
take me fishing?

88
00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:12,760
Sorry, Jimmy.

89
00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:15,929
Your grandma and I are
going to have old people sex.

90
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,809
Thank you, Jammitin.

91
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:23,885
Oh! There's nothing
but filth on TV.

92
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:25,803
But with this
new video camera,

93
00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:27,848
we can make our
own entertainment.

94
00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:29,720
Now, boys, we're gonna
film the world's first,

95
00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:31,603
and some would say,
best murder mystery.

96
00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:33,489
The story of Cain and Abel.

97
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:37,730
Daddy, if Cain and Abel were
Adam and Eve's only children,

98
00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:39,643
how did they make more babies?

99
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:43,009
Did they make babies with
their mother or with each other?

100
00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:45,686
Your mouth is hopin'
for a soapin', boy.

101
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,644
Now stop asking silly
questions and go kill your brother.

102
00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:57,408
After you prance
across the goal line,

103
00:06:57,520 --> 00:06:59,761
you hurl the other team's
mascot to the ground

104
00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:02,241
and drive your
cleats into his neck.

105
00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:08,050
You're going down,
you potato-eating pansy.

106
00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:10,120
Homer, are you sure we aren't
crossing a line here?

107
00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:12,680
I happen to know that the
person inside that leprechaun suit

108
00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:13,921
is a single mother.

109
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,321
Deion, this is Timmy Thomas.

110
00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:18,522
He has
Timmy Thomas disease.

111
00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:20,284
Mr. Overstreet,

112
00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:24,206
could you do an obnoxious
end zone dance for me today?

113
00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:28,166
Please?

114
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:35,601
Yay!

115
00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,482
How do you like me now?

116
00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:14,331
Hello.
Homer, this is LeBron James.

117
00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,880
The fans love my dunks,
but they hate my dancing.

118
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:22,165
I think I can fit you in.
Let's see.

119
00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:25,811
Lenny, can I move you from
Wednesday at noon to Sunday at 6:00?

120
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:28,326
Homer, you know that's when
I play with neighborhood dogs.

121
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:29,896
All right, all right.
I'll work it out.

122
00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:32,127
Aw, you guys are
what it's all about.

123
00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:38,166
Reverend, thanks for turning the
church into a "he-without-sineplex."

124
00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:41,050
What the...
Oh, I get it.

125
00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:46,724
Boys, I just talked to God.

126
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:50,122
He's vacuuming heaven to get it
ready for when dead people show up.

127
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:52,931
And he'd like you both
to render a sacrifice.

128
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:56,925
I shall sacrifice my
finest grains and livestock.

129
00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:05,603
Behold, I have found
favor with the Lord.

130
00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:08,291
So shall my knife find
favor with thy belly.

131
00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:28,688
Now, I must bury my son

132
00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:33,926
while you wander the earth forever
with the mark of evil upon your face.

133
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,089
Ned, your film
was a masterpiece.

134
00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:50,050
It turned me from an atheist
to a hooray-theist.

135
00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:53,130
Uh, sir, you have revealed
to me a world of faith

136
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:55,282
beyond the world of science.

137
00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:57,840
I would pay to see
it again, and again,

138
00:09:57,920 --> 00:10:01,288
and again, and again,
but not six times.

139
00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:03,283
I also would pay
to see it again.

140
00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:05,442
Me, too.
Here's some guy's wallet.

141
00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:06,760
I am that guy.

142
00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:10,245
Smithers, we could make a
fortune with these Bible pictures.

143
00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:12,496
And I've been looking for a
way to launder the money I made

144
00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:14,682
selling club soda
as flu vaccine.

145
00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:18,687
Everyone seemed so happy.
But, I'm surprised at Ned.

146
00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:21,127
He left out all the good times
Cain and Abel had

147
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:22,361
when they were growing up.

148
00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:25,171
He's just being true to the
Bible, which is pretty violent.

149
00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:26,446
And sexy.

150
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:29,564
King David stole someone else's
wife. Mary Magdalene was a hooker.

151
00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:31,529
Bart, how do you
know these things?

152
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:32,761
It's all in this book.

153
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:38,964
Welcome to the Homer
Simpson Showboating Academy.

154
00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:42,164
Today we're working
on poor sportsmanship.

155
00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:45,841
First, I want you to hurl a ball
at the nearest authority figure.

156
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:48,805
Nicely done.

157
00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:51,884
Oh, my God. It's my
hero, Michelle Kwan.

158
00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,850
You remind me of
a young Dorothy Hamill.

159
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:57,002
I didn't know you could talk.

160
00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:59,880
Lisa, could you
pass the salad?

161
00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:01,771
And it's James with the steal.

162
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,084
Who wants to help
me clear the table?

163
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,930
Wait a second. I've read that
you speak excellent English.

164
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,771
Shut up, kid. I got
a good thing going here.

165
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:25,086
Oh, my. Ned's next movie seems
even bloodier than the last one.

166
00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:27,683
Now there's no need
to actually whip him.

167
00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:29,205
We can put the sound in later.

168
00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:32,568
No. As your financial backer,
I insist upon reality.

169
00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:34,927
Pharaoh didn't put
the sound in later.

170
00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:38,169
But who'd know the difference?
The people being whipped.

171
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:48,247
Hey, Lovejoy. You could
take a lesson from Flanders.

172
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:51,164
You know, inject your services
with a little razzle-dazzle.

173
00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:55,086
I already do, if by
"razzle" you mean piety

174
00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:58,642
and by "dazzle" you mean
scriptural accuracy.

175
00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:00,407
What a tool.

176
00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:04,809
I am richer than you.

177
00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:12,602
Look out, Jonah.
It's a whale.

178
00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:18,721
Jonah! Jonah! Jonah!

179
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:23,766
Yarr!

180
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:29,322
The only just solution
is to cut the baby in half.

181
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,007
Wait a minute.

182
00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:36,523
I've killed a baby.
I'm a monster.

183
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:40,523
I can't take anymore.

184
00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:43,484
Ned, there's more to the Bible
than blood and gore.

185
00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:47,121
Oh, I guess you'd rather see a film
about a liberal European wizard school

186
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,682
or the latest sexcapade
of Miss Ashley Judd.

187
00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:52,848
Well, I don't like this movie.

188
00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:56,641
And I'm gonna boycott
your financier, Mr. Burns.

189
00:12:56,760 --> 00:13:00,401
Oh, really? And what would
you use instead of nuclear power?

190
00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:02,005
Solar.
Hydroelectric.

191
00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:03,969
A mix of conservation
and wind.

192
00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:05,881
Who told you about those?

193
00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:07,451
A talking tree
in a commercial.

194
00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:10,404
Well, I know when
I've been licked.

195
00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:14,368
Sorry, Ned. This movie
will never be seen again.

196
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:17,882
Dis-embroider the crew jackets.
We can still send them back.

197
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:24,606
Welcome to Jock Center.

198
00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:26,489
Tonight, the Clipper
and the stripper,

199
00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:28,324
a Jones that's chipper,

200
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,641
and did Joe Torre
shoot Flipper?

201
00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:34,611
But first, professional sports continues
its downward march into the gutter.

202
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,367
This is either
about me or steroids.

203
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:40,647
Thanks to professional
jerk-ass, Homer Simpson,

204
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:44,327
athletes are now taunting and
boasting just to get on our highlight reel.

205
00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:47,085
Disgusting. Now
here's our highlight reel.

206
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:54,131
Art comes from pain.
Your pain.

207
00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:05,727
Beware the wrath of Kwan.

208
00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,090
Everyone sucks but me.

209
00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:26,801
Oh, yeah. Cheer for Tom.
Give all your love to Tom.

210
00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:31,847
I'm the worst thing
to happen to sports since Fox.

211
00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:34,810
Master,
you are truly a fool.

212
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:39,840
Homer Simpson, we work for
the commissioner of football.

213
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:41,410
And he wants to see you.

214
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:42,891
I want to see him, too.

215
00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:44,769
Maybe he can tell me
how to get this off.

216
00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:47,645
It soaked through
to the other side.

217
00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:53,651
The commissioner's
in here with all the owners.

218
00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:57,010
Homer,
we think you're fabulous.

219
00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:59,606
Since the players began
your rowdy rump-shaking,

220
00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:01,762
our ratings are up 62%.

221
00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:04,924
Plus we're making
millions in player fines,

222
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:08,846
which I'm gonna use to bankroll
a musical about the J. Geils Band.

223
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,490
That's right, J. Geils.

224
00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:12,045
Here's why we called you in.

225
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:15,647
We want you to produce this
year's Super Bowl Half-time Show.

226
00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:19,810
Wow. At last, my pathetic
little life has a meaning.

227
00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:23,441
You suckers,
I would've done it for free.

228
00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:24,931
Fine. Do it for free.

229
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,128
Damn it.
Well, I'll still do it.

230
00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:30,410
Suckers.
I would've paid you.

231
00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:31,686
Fine. Pay us.

232
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,889
Oh, damn it.
Will you take a check?

233
00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:35,371
No.
Damn it.

234
00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:46,561
The Super Bowl
Half-time Show.

235
00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:49,246
From its humble origins
in Super Bowl I...

236
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:56,886
...to the marriage of Pac-Man and
Ms. Pac-Man in Super Bowl XVI.

237
00:15:57,040 --> 00:16:00,522
I now pronounce
you Pac-Man and wife.

238
00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:04,247
Let's get physical,
physical

239
00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:07,211
I wanna get physical.

240
00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:09,648
Let's get into physical.

241
00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:14,169
Oh, every single Super Bowl
Half-time Show has been great.

242
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:15,890
Oh, Homie, don't worry.

243
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:18,088
I'm sure you'll come
up with a great idea.

244
00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:21,847
- I don't know.
- It's a lot of pressure.

245
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:25,163
Do many people
watch the Super Bowl?

246
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:26,810
Billions.

247
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:34,843
We're ready for rehearsal,
Mr. Simpson. So what do we do?

248
00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:42,042
Oh, man, I have no
idea what I'm doing.

249
00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:46,522
I wonder if other Super Bowl
producers waited till

250
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:50,241
3:00 in the morning the night
before to plan their half-time shows.

251
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:53,801
A church.

252
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:57,202
Maybe the homeless people sleeping
on the floor will have some ideas.

253
00:16:58,600 --> 00:16:59,840
Flanders?

254
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,685
Well, I guess you've got
some late night problems, too.

255
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,205
Yeah. I made a great film.

256
00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:06,123
But I'm having trouble
getting it out there.

257
00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:08,328
I'm like Michael Moore,
except I'm skinny,

258
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:10,448
myjeans are washed,
and God loves me.

259
00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:13,530
I just wish I could find some
way to spread my message.

260
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:15,204
Have you tried checking
the oil filter?

261
00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:16,685
Are you even listening to me?

262
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:19,610
Sure. I'd be happy to
tell you my problem.

263
00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:21,808
I've got a venue the
whole world will be watching

264
00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:23,370
and nothing to fill it with.

265
00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:24,487
Wait a minute.

266
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:26,642
You've got a medium,
and I've got a message.

267
00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:28,643
Maybe God brought us
together for a reason.

268
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:33,687
Yeah. You help me and I,
in turn, am helped by you.

269
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:36,096
And so,
ladies and gentlemen,

270
00:17:36,120 --> 00:17:40,648
we have come to the start
of Super Bowl X-X-X-I-X.

271
00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:44,845
This brand new $300 million stadium
was completed just one short week ago.

272
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:47,401
And it's scheduled for
demolition early next month.

273
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:49,721
America's priorities
are a joke. Now,

274
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:51,006
Here's the kickoff.

275
00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:53,970
Wow. All these people
are gonna see Dad's show.

276
00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:56,922
Oh, I paid $1,000
for this seat.

277
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,810
And I can't even see the game.
Just poke through.

278
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:06,605
And that's the gun.

279
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:10,924
We head into half-time with
the thrilling score of 55 to 6.

280
00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:12,764
But don't stop watching
in the second half.

281
00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:13,887
Points count double.

282
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:17,407
And now, the eagerly awaited
Super Bowl Half-time Show.

283
00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:21,206
Sponsored by the new Ford
pick-ups, Citibank, and Moe's Tavern.

284
00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:22,486
How could you afford this?

285
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,324
I hustled a lot of pool.

286
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:25,890
Hey, you want to play?

287
00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:29,329
I gotta warn ya.
I ain't that good.

288
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:30,526
All right.

289
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:32,441
Sucker.

290
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:35,326
Who's the sucker now? Huh?

291
00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:42,121
Time for Homer's half-time
show. Get ready, Frank.

292
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:44,851
Frank went to the
men's room. I'm Joe.

293
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:49,683
We now take you back through
the ages to a time before TV,

294
00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:53,003
before cowboys,
before dinosaurs.

295
00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:55,401
The time of the Bible.

296
00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:01,242
The children of God once lived
according to their father's laws.

297
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:04,290
But then a shadow of
wickedness fell across the land

298
00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:07,682
as represented by this
cloud of white pesticide.

299
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:14,407
But there was one
righteous man, Noah.

300
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:19,848
Oh, mighty God, send a flood
to destroy this wickedness.

301
00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:29,328
Hey, you guys think
Homer's mad at me?

302
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:31,960
I waved at him in the parking lot
and he stared right through me.

303
00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:34,242
I left the People's
Republic for this?

304
00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:36,882
Yo, Michelle,
you got a boyfriend?

305
00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:38,041
Not in here, I don't.

306
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:42,760
After 40 days and 40 nights,
the rain stopped.

307
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:45,684
And Noah set
forth a single dove.

308
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,931
So God blessed Noah and
his sons. And said to them,

309
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:03,721
"Never again shall there be
a flood to destroy the earth.

310
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:06,041
"I set my rainbow
in the cloud.

311
00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:11,331
"And it shall be a sign of the covenant
between God and man." Thank you.

312
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:25,051
All over America today,
viewers were outraged

313
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:29,085
by the Super Bowl Half-time Show's
blatant display of religion and decency.

314
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:31,641
You try to raise your kids
as secular humanists.

315
00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:34,849
But these showbiz types keep
shoving religion down our throats.

316
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,611
Mommy,
why wasn't I baptized?

317
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:39,523
You see? You see?

318
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:42,126
I thought America
was hungry for meaning.

319
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:46,489
I should've just sent a crocodile
into space like I originally planned.

320
00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:51,523
Homie, I think you did great.
And to celebrate,

321
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:54,524
I made omelets from the eggs
people threw at our house.

322
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:56,404
Dig in, everybody.

323
00:20:57,240 --> 00:21:00,084
Omelets for dinner? This
is the best day of my life.

324
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:03,289
Really? Didn't you just sign
a $90 million contract?

325
00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:04,691
That was a good day, too.

326
00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:13,125
Welcome to the Homer
Simpson Showboating Academy.

327
00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:16,250
Today we're working on
poor sportsmanship.

328
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:18,409
But I like to stand
for good sportsmanship.

329
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:20,124
Quiet, you.
Yes, sir.